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Kate Rejects Jon's Flowers, Shakira Is Nun-Approved, And Cougar Town Shuts Down
And Today, We Bombed The Moon.
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BestEuphemismEver
11/22/09

In reply to Kate Rejects Jon's Flowers, Shakira Is Nun-Approved, And Cougar Town Shuts Down
Come on, Jezebel, no one likes french fries.
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J.D.Regent promoted this comment BestEuphemismEver was starred

tinytm11
11/22/09

@BestEuphemismEver: You're right. We LOVE them.
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PIKITIS!!
11/22/09

@tinytm11: I love french fries so much I want to take them behind the middle school and get them pregnant!!!
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tinytm11 promoted this comment PIKITIS!! was starred PIKITIS!! was unstarred

tinytm11
11/23/09

@PIKITIS!!: Oh my word. Hearted for that, you made me lol!!
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Maggita
11/22/09

In reply to Kate Rejects Jon's Flowers, Shakira Is Nun-Approved, And Cougar Town Shuts Down
Dear Simon,

Speak for yourself.

Love, Maggita

p.s. Could you start undressing in your living room instead of your bedroom? My binos only capture half the view.
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lafleur promoted this comment Maggita was starred Maggita was unstarred

lafleur
11/22/09

@Maggita: Creepy but funny. Good work.

Side note: I watched Star Trek again last night, and Scotty is one hot piece. Him and Kirk. And Spock, too. Oh Hell.
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TryScience
11/22/09

@lafleur: Don't forget Chekov!
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lafleur promoted this comment Edited by TryScience at 11/22/09 10:10 PM TryScience was starred TryScience was unstarred

thebootyfaerie
11/22/09

@lafleur: I watched it tonight with my parents (after watching it on Tuesday when it came out on BluRay, and several times in the theater).

As much as I love them all... Kirk. Captain Kirk is my favorite in that.

Bones is a close second.

Scotty is cute, though.
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lafleur promoted this comment thebootyfaerie was starred thebootyfaerie was unstarred

lafleur
11/22/09

@thebootyfaerie: Ooh Bones, yea. It's pretty much an all-around fantastic movie, minus the alleged timeline cockups.
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Maggita
11/22/09

@lafleur: Thanks!
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charliekohler
11/22/09

In reply to Kate Rejects Jon's Flowers, Shakira Is Nun-Approved, And Cougar Town Shuts Down
I...I can't even allow myself to realize Portman was kidding.
Even in a joke, Gyllenhaal will never be ugly. I saw a preview for their new movie last night, and the whole time I was like, "Jake...Gyllenhaal...mmmmm....Jake......Gyllenhaal....MMMM!" My boyfriend got very uncomfortable.
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la.donna.pietra
11/22/09

In reply to Kate Rejects Jon's Flowers, Shakira Is Nun-Approved, And Cougar Town Shuts Down
I always thought Jay-Z was a sensible and intelligent dude, and he just keeps confirming it.
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BAngieB
11/22/09

@la.donna.pietra: And you are basing this on what? His lyrics? Read those and then you might rethink that.
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la.donna.pietra
11/22/09

@BAngieB: I was referring to his decision not to pose with Victoria's Secret models, as mentioned above. His lyrics are a whole 'nother ball of wax.
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Lana Leigh loves Meryl Streep
11/22/09

@BAngieB: Besides from his lyrics Jay-Z does seem like an intelligent man and a good partner. Jay-Z is definitely my favorite rapper.
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BAngieB
11/22/09

@Lana Leigh loves Meryl Streep: His lyrics and sexist and misogynistic.

#tips
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FurrierAndIves
11/22/09

In reply to Kate Rejects Jon's Flowers, Shakira Is Nun-Approved, And Cougar Town Shuts Down
Hey Jon: Next time consult the Language of Flowers for a more appropriate choice. Suggestions:

1. Mock Orange = deceit
2. Petunia = anger, resentment
3. Oleander = beware, caution
4. Monkshead = beware, a deadly foe is near
5. Lily = hatred
6. Candytuft = indifference
7. Carnation = rejection, disdain
8. Cyclamen = resignation and goodbye

I can't promise Kate will be more receptive in the future, but at least you won't be presenting with openly inappropriate flowers. Everyone knows, red roses mean: LOVE. I'm pretty sure that's not the msg you wanted to convey.
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Maritsa promoted this comment FurrierAndIves was starred FurrierAndIves was unstarred

whats_in_a_name
11/22/09

@FurrierAndIves: Hmm, makes me wonder why my prom date really got me a lily all those years ago...and here I had just been figuring that it was because she was from the Netherlands.
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fluxus flucker
11/22/09

@FurrierAndIves: Is there a flower symbolizing "fame-whore"? Because I think that's what he was really going for with the flower stunt.
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la.donna.pietra
11/22/09

@fluxus flucker: Cheap dyed-blue roses?
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FurrierAndIves
11/22/09

@fluxus flucker: Hilarious! Nominate a flower. The petunia has a lot of negative connotations-maybe bec of the smell?
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FurrierAndIves
11/22/09

@whats_in_a_name: Fear not, and give your friend the benefit of doubt. As far as I could tell, there are multiple meanings for most of the flowers.
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sayah
11/22/09

@la.donna.pietra: Old half dead quickie mart roses!
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la.donna.pietra promoted this comment sayah was starred sayah was unstarred

whats_in_a_name
11/22/09

@FurrierAndIves: Nah, I know it was because she was from the Netherlands, its just kind of odd to find out that they're supposed to represent hate.
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whats_in_a_name
11/22/09

@fluxus flucker: One of those plastic water squirting flowers that cartoon clowns always seem to have.
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la.donna.pietra
11/22/09

@sayah: Even better: the plastic ones!
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ketamineKitty
11/22/09

In reply to Kate Rejects Jon's Flowers, Shakira Is Nun-Approved, And Cougar Town Shuts Down
What is it about Scientology that makes you spew sentences that sound like they just came out of a word blender?
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BestEuphemismEver
11/22/09

@ketamineKitty: You, too, can talk like Juliette - just purchase a Church-endorsed L.Ron Memorial VoxBlend-O-Rama for the low, low, price of $499.99. Runs on Thetan juice.
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VirginiaDentata promoted this comment BestEuphemismEver was starred

JinxyMcDeath
11/22/09

In reply to Kate Rejects Jon's Flowers, Shakira Is Nun-Approved, And Cougar Town Shuts Down
It's a pretty well-known fact that the celebrities of Scientology get treated like royalty, while the rest are merely peons, Juliette. Celebrities in Scientology have the $$$, so they don't have to quit their job, get one with the Scientologists, and then devote their entire lives to earning enough money to take courses. Then, the regular folks are trapped because they can't leave without a job and money...Thanks for stopping in and ensuring that we know you're just as ignorant as the rest of them.
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heykoukla
11/22/09

@JinxyMcDeath: B-b-b-but she's in the know, because she did courses! She's not allowed to tell you what the courses were about, or what they taught her about life, or how exactly they changed her, - you know, the rules of Scientology and all that. But you should just take her word for it, she's no blind follower.
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Dictator for Life
11/22/09

@JinxyMcDeath: I was walking in the Upper (East? West? I can't actually remember) Side on my first week in New York, and ran across the Scientology Celebrity Center. I had no idea such a place actually existed. I wanted to take a picture of the sign, but I figured they have cameras that tell them who does that, and they'd send someone to my apartment to delete the photo. So I didn't. But I'm still shocked that the place exists. And has a sign.
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Tambar
11/22/09

In reply to Kate Rejects Jon's Flowers, Shakira Is Nun-Approved, And Cougar Town Shuts Down
Does Amy *not* realize a nose job will change her voice? She's nuts to mess with anything in her face. Singers shouldn't even get their teeth fixed if they want to keep their sound.
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fluxus flucker
11/22/09

@Tambar: I was wondering about that. I've never heard of nose jobs changing a singers voice/style, but it makes sense.

And (when she's healthy) Amy is so lovely.
I've known so many people with noses similar to Amy's who have had surgery to get that Hollywood-standard-Angelina Jolie-nose.
And all of them were gorgeous before surgery. And unique in a wonderful, beautiful way.

Sigh...I'm so discouraged by this trend of people having surgery so that they can look like everyone else. And by everyone else, I mean everyone else who has had certain cosmetic surgeries.

I understand the impulse. I just wish that self-acceptance would win over the desire to conform.
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rachaeloehring
11/22/09

In reply to Kate Rejects Jon's Flowers, Shakira Is Nun-Approved, And Cougar Town Shuts Down
Every staged, empty attempt at reconciliation for "The Insider" cameras begins with Kay.
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bowleserised
11/22/09

In reply to Kate Rejects Jon's Flowers, Shakira Is Nun-Approved, And Cougar Town Shuts Down
Jon Gosselin needs to learn that there's a point in every failing relationship when buying a bunch of flowers is actually an insult.
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Edited by bowleserised at 11/22/09 11:26 AM bowleserised was starred bowleserised was unstarred

Santos L Halper
11/22/09

In reply to Kate Rejects Jon's Flowers, Shakira Is Nun-Approved, And Cougar Town Shuts Down
Nothing says "Awesome!" like wearing ripped jeans to divorce court. Yipee!
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CynicalPink
11/22/09

@Santos L Halper: Oh he looks downright classy for some of the courtroom attire I've seen. They're lucky everyone in Family Court shows up wearing pants.

Witness at a murder trial showed up with hip hugger jeans showing off her c-section scars and a t-shirt that said "I'm not a bitch, I'm THE bitch." By comparison, Jon Gosselin is a classy MoFo
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midwesternmom promoted this comment CynicalPink was starred CynicalPink was unstarred

midwesternmom
11/22/09

@CynicalPink: Father showed up in Juvenile Court trying to regain parental rights with a cannibis leaf earring dangling from his ear. I didn't notice it until we were already in front of the bench. Valuable lesson learned--never under-estimate the stupidity of my clients.
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Maritsa
11/22/09

@midwesternmom: Not quite as bad, but a couple months ago my opposing counsel in a products liability case came to court in a super-casual shirtdress and flip-flops.
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Edited by Maritsa at 11/22/09 12:03 PM Maritsa was starred Maritsa was unstarred

midwesternmom
11/22/09

@Maritsa: I just watched a woman argue in our state Supreme Court wearing a flowing ankle-length cotton peasant skirt and a long-sleeved jersey top. I would have snorted in outrage, but I was wearing hose for the first time in over two years and I could not draw a deep breath.
The best part of that day was noticing that one of the female justices lets her curly hair fly free. I may never straighten my curls for an argument again.
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Maritsa
11/22/09

@midwesternmom: Justice Sotomayor doesn't straighten!

#tips
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rmric0.wedding.photographer.and.manny
11/22/09

@CynicalPink: When I was reporting on courts, the obviously intoxicated guy showing up to his DUI hearing.
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MzSeJ
11/23/09

@midwesternmom: were you instructed/advised to straighten your hair? do you only do so when appearing in court?
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midwesternmom promoted this comment MzSeJ was starred MzSeJ was unstarred

midwesternmom
11/23/09

@MzSeJ: Instructed? No, but the other women in my office are very critical of my wild curls. Which are conditioned and styled and under control. When my hair was long the curl was pulled into waves, but now that it is short again, it is very curly. And on a non-court day I don;t see clients, so I go to work in jeans and curls. Of course, these women started practicing when women wore little floppy bow ties to court, so their idea of acceptable might be warped.
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Edited by midwesternmom at 11/23/09 9:09 AM midwesternmom was starred midwesternmom was unstarred

curiousgeorgiana
11/22/09

In reply to Kate Rejects Jon's Flowers, Shakira Is Nun-Approved, And Cougar Town Shuts Down
My 4 year old cousin once kicked me in the shins. He then ripped up some of my grandmother's camillias and presented them to me as a token of his apology.

Jon-- you are not 4.
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the glamwich
11/22/09

@curiousgeorgiana: apparently jon gosselin is dennis the menace...and that show would be fascinating.
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DutchessOfDork
11/22/09

In reply to Kate Rejects Jon's Flowers, Shakira Is Nun-Approved, And Cougar Town Shuts Down
Natalie Portman, I used to like you, but given the whole Roman Polanski defending thing and calling Jake ugly. You are not a nice person. Eat it.
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taliewalie
11/22/09

@DutchessOfDork: I'm pretty sure she was trying to be funny... I mean who could say that Jake was ugly and actually mean it?
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slowpoke.r
11/22/09

@DutchessOfDork: I think she was joking, as it's patently obvious that no one on the planet thinks he's ugly. And judging by that recent interview he did with her (he was the interviewer, she the subject) they seem to be colleagues who respect one another and get along very well. Can't remember the magazine or I'd post a link.
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sara-without-an-h
11/22/09

In reply to Kate Rejects Jon's Flowers, Shakira Is Nun-Approved, And Cougar Town Shuts Down
I love celebrity profiles in the Guardian, because instead of starting ladymag style ("Even tinier in the flesh, Fabrizia Del Amore turns a flawless face towards me as she shoves down fries: "Yoga fulfills me.", she intones in a husky mezzo") they always start with unflattering surprise that the topic of their own profile is not completely stupid.
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DexterHaven promoted this comment Edited by sara-without-an-h at 11/22/09 11:20 AM sara-without-an-h was starred

Sputnik_Sweetheart
11/22/09

In reply to Kate Rejects Jon's Flowers, Shakira Is Nun-Approved, And Cougar Town Shuts Down
Oh, Natalie, speak for yourself.

And I hate it when people judge guys on on their size. As I don't want anyone judging me on the size of my assets, I don't think its fair to judge a guy on his.
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curiousgeorgiana
11/22/09

@Sputnik_Sweetheart:
Completely agreed on size. I'd slap a guy who commented on the size of my breasts. Same rule for guys.

ETA: misread your Natalie comment. Never mind!
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Edited by curiousgeorgiana at 11/22/09 11:21 AM curiousgeorgiana was starred curiousgeorgiana was unstarred

Sputnik_Sweetheart
11/22/09

@curiousgeorgiana: No, I definitely got that she was joking. ;P
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curiousgeorgiana
11/22/09

@Sputnik_Sweetheart: Yeah, I just edited it. I completely misread. I thought you were telling her to look in a mirror (ie calling her ugly). Sorry about that. Where's my coffee??
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Sputnik_Sweetheart
11/22/09

@curiousgeorgiana: No worries, it is 11-something on a Sunday morning. And both Jake and Natalie are insanely beautiful.
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whats_in_a_name
11/22/09

@curiousgeorgiana: @Sputnik_Sweetheart: This guy thanks you, and promises to continue to return the favor.
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curiousgeorgiana
11/22/09

@whats_in_a_name: See how easy compromise can be?

Let's all get elected to Congress and show 'em how it's done ;o).
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AlmostDream
11/22/09

@Sputnik_Sweetheart: Is it really "judging" though? It's not like judging a girl on something arbitrary, like her cup size. It serves an actual purpose, sensation-wise.
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curiousgeorgiana promoted this comment AlmostDream was starred AlmostDream was unstarred

curiousgeorgiana
11/22/09

@AlmostDream: I think guys would argue that the feel of breasts serves a pleasure purpose as well.

I think it's fine to "prefer" something (like green eyes for example). But I get weird just outright judging a person based on a physical attribute beyond their control.
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whats_in_a_name
11/22/09

@AlmostDream: Then I guess you would be ok with being judged on the tightness of your vagina? After all it does make a difference sensation-wise.
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Tartan_Tart
11/22/09

@curiousgeorgiana: Yar, if a guy said he cared about breast size, I wouldn't necessarily be offended, but I would definitely drop everything and leave.

I suppose Riri is entitled to care about size just for fun, but I think it's a shallow consideration for serious relationships.
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AlmostDream
11/22/09

@curiousgeorgiana: @whats_in_a_name: If it were so loose that he couldn't be sexually satisfied, or so tight that it was uncomfortable, it's understandable that it would be a significant barrier to a relationship. I don't consider that judging (unless he's making other assumptions about me based on tightness). Sex might not be an important part of a relationship to some, but it doesn't make someone "superficial" if sexual compatibility is important to them.
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curiousgeorgiana
11/22/09

@AlmostDream: But we were talking about the Rihanna quote, in that making a snap judgment "I would never date a guy smaller than X" is a little unfair.

Of course it makes a difference in the bedroom. And you have to decide if it's something you can work around or not. Sometimes it's not compatible.

#tips
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