• Someone broke into Kourtney Kardashian's home on Saturday night, taking thousands of dollars worth of jewelry. Hollywood: Step up your security! [TMZ]

• As you may know, there's been a rash of burglaries involving young stars this year: Paris Hilton, Audrina Patridge, Hayden Panettiere, Lindsay Lohan and Rachel Bilson's homes have all been broken into in the last 10 months. Oh, and Orlando Bloom was burglarized, too. [People]
• Meanwhile, Kim Kardashian and Reggie Bush are back together, and things are going well: "We just made the decision that we want to make it work, and the time off was really beneficial for the both of us," KK says. "I think sometimes people need to take a break just to take time off to see how much they need each other and how much they really are compatible." [People]
• Khloe Kardashian and Lamar Odom now have a prenup. He'll keep the $33 million he makes in his 4 year contract with the Lakers. Khloe will get an annual lump sum, which will not go up or down throughout the marriage; and the two will have a joint account. Romantic! [TMZ]
• Hug your neighborhood Goth: Trent Reznor got married on Saturday. [E!]
• Beyoncé has postponed a concert in Malaysia; female performers there must be covered from shoulders to knees, with no cleavage showing. Time to rethink that "Single Ladies" leotard. [AP]
• Lindsay Lohan "shocked" people by being "in control all night" at a party. [Page Six]
• Courtney Love failed to show up in court on Thursday in a case involving Elite Maids and non-payment; the judge ruled against Courtney and she needs to write a check to the cleaning service for $3,058.48. [TMZ]
• Headline of the day: "Paris Hilton Lands Movie Role, Demands Lobsters." [Page Six]
• Stephanie Pratt was arrested for suspicion of driving under the influence early Sunday morning in Hollywood. She'd just left Holly Montag's birthday party and apparently didn't arrange for a designated driver. [TMZ]
• Stephanie Pratt was "cooperative" and there were no issues with her arrest. She was taken into custody at 3:45 am and released at 10:30 am. [People]
• Here's a picture of Stephanie partying before her DUI. What's with the tongues? [TMZ]
• Liz Taylor took Michael Jackson's three kids to a theme park on Friday. From her wheelchair, she watched the children go on rides and enjoy the Halloween Horror Nights event. [Daily Express]
• By the by, Liz Taylor saw the new Michael Jackson documentary, This Is It at a special secret screening. Word is: She loved it and thought it was "brilliant." [Showbiz 411]
• "Michael Jackson's embattled physician, Dr. Conrad Murray, is quietly trying to sell his story." [Rush & Molloy]
• Susan Boyle must have liked the makeover she got from Harper's Bazaar: She used the images from that photo shoot as cover art for her album. [WWD]
• Kelly Bensimon flashed folks at a fête: "Raising her arm to wave goodbye, the Real Housewives star 'accidentally' revealed she was 'commando.'" [Page Six]
• Expect Josh Brolin's performance in Wall Street 2 to be Donald Trump-inspired. [Page Six]
• "The octomom's doctor has been expelled from the American Society for Reproductive Medicine, the main infertility professional organization." Nadya Suleman has said that her physician, Michael Kamrava, transferred six embryos, which exceeds the ASRM's guidelines. [USA Today]
• Did you know that Jon Hamm auditioned for the role of Jack Donaghy on 30 Rock? [Reader's Digest]
• "Madonna's 'Hung Up,' in which she dances provocatively in a pink leotard, has been voted the least sexy music video of all time." [Telegraph]
• You guys, stop talking about how Jennifer Love Hewitt and Jamie Kennedy might be broken up. She says: "I'm not going to lie – it's not annoying, it's hurtful. Because he is like the most awesome person." And! "We are just trying to be really happy. It makes it hard to do that when everybody is putting negative energy out there." [ONTD]
• Guess what Susan Sarandon is going to be for Halloween? Think "Touch-a Touch-a Touch-a Touch Me"! [Page Six]
• Cameron Diaz stars in sci-fi thriller The Box, based on a 1970 short story and adapted and directed by the twisted genius behind Donny Darko, Richard Kelly. At 37, she gets asked about the quality of roles for women over 40, and says: "I'm not 40 yet and I don't know what I am going to want. I'm certainly not sitting here worrying about where I am going to be at, I am just making the most out of the life I am living as I have been doing all along." [News.com.au]
• Conan O'Brien and Newark mayor Cory Booker have ended their feud. Sort of. There's now a joke jar: jar. "Every time I made a joke about Newark… $500 would go into that joke jar," says Conan. Yet he adds: "You can rest assured that the money is safe, because the jar isn't in Newark." [NY Daily News]
• Gaga Ooh La La! New Lady Gaga song! Click to hear. [ONTD]
• Martha Stewart's deal with Kmart is dead. Long live Martha Stewart's deal with Home Depot. [NY Times]
• Nas has tax issues. [TMZ]
• Where The Wild Things Are made a monstrous $32.5 million at the box office. [AP]
• So you know how some dresses have little plastic straps inside for more stability on a hanger? And sometimes the straps pop out from under your armpits and look unsightly? Whitney Houston's dress straps broke while she was on TV. [The Sun]
• Monty Python: The Original Kings Of Gore. [Newsweek]
• Dan Aykroyd's father has a new book called A History of Ghosts: The True Story of Séances, Mediums, Ghosts and Ghostbusters; Dan has written the forward and says: "I've had to sell some really bad movies in my time, so it's great when you can get behind a good product." [USA Today]
• Someone paid $15,000 for a clump of Elvis' hair. [AP]
• Ted Danson upon meeting Dave Chappelle: "You are like a hero in my family." After the meeting: "Wow. That was cool. That was my claim to hip right there. That's my only claim to hip." [LA Times]
• Do red carpets make you nervous? Or the paparazzi? 
"Horribly nervous. The red-carpet thing is more of a problem. I had braces when I was a teenager and taught myself not to smile. I never deprogrammed myself from that. When they're shouting 'Smile!' I get nervous. You don't want to see my smile." Are you on Facebook? "I left Facebook. People contact you and they're out of your life, and I don't know why they want to come back in. It's weird." — from a Q&A with An Education's Carey Mulligan. [Newsweek]
• Def Leppard has canceled the last segment of its North American tour — 23 shows — "due to unforeseen personal matters." [USA Today]
• "When I was 11, I auditioned for the part of Joseph in Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat at school. I didn't go to an all-girls school, but the boys didn't want to do theater: the girls could then play the boys. I remember that I didn't get the part of Joseph and I was really upset. They cast me as the Pharaoh, and I remember doing an Elvis impression as the Pharaoh. I had this one moment when I realized that the Pharaoh part was actually more interesting than Joseph's. And, in some ways, that set the tone for my career. For me, it's often better to play the great character than the lead." — Samantha Morton. Click through for gorgeous photo shoot. [T Magazine]
• "He's one of the very few completely brilliant directors that I've worked with. There aren't really very many, I have to say, or it's a shame to say. To be an artist in terms of what you see and what you want to feel out of each scene, a kind of master of the technique and the technicalities of filmmaking, and a master of directing actors, which is usually the one that's missing — there are many who have no idea how to speak or to pull good work out of actors — is very rare. Roman was all those things." — Ewan McGregor on Roman Polanski, who directed The Ghost, in which Ewan stars. [LA Times]
• "The best part for me now is that I think for the first nine months mom is so essential. When they start hanging out with dad more you're like, 'Wow I feel like a dad.' You go to music class and do fun stuff together, it's cool. It makes me realize all of the little things that my dad sacrificed when he had me. It's sad it took 30 years but I totally realize it now." — Pete Wentz on fatherhood. [UPI via People]
• "When I was away [in prison], I wrote a lot of stuff, which will be released next year. I wrote a diary and songs. I got into trouble because I wrote on the wall: 'Some things are past understanding, you just need a place to land.' It was part of a lyric. I actually wrote a song about Amy [Winehouse] when I was in prison." — Boy George. [Daily Express via The Times of London]
• "I'll be honest: When I went on that morning show, I was drunk. Yes, I was on sleeping pills and I was jet-lagged, but I was also just plastered. And I never said I wasn't, but that whole Warner Bros. publicity machine got involved and said, 'Just say he was jet-lagged.' I said, 'No, tell 'em the truth! I was fucking drunk in Australia. Big deal.'" — John Stamos, in reference to his bizarre appearance on Mornings with Kerri-Ann in 2007. [Us Magazine]
• "I think I underestimated the way people bracket you. I thought I could wear what I wanted and be an actress and live my life in a certain way, and it would all be all right. I feel we live in the kind of culture now where you have to be very smart to navigate the right way, and I just don't have those smarts. I think with age and time it will change, but I can't obsess about it… This is what I have always wanted, to be on Broadway. I'm living my dream, and that's all you can ask for. At a certain point you have to ignore all the rest." — Sienna Miller, who is in After Miss Julie on Broadway. [NY Times]
• "I've had some absolutely great relationships and some not so great relationships. I've been in some relationships where I've felt terribly alone. Just because you're with someone it doesn't mean you're incredibly happy and complete. I've had some easy and natural, made-sense breakups as well as some rough ones. I deal with them the same way we all do: I'm successful with some and not so successful with others. I don't think my experiences are any different than anybody else's, they've just been amplified a little more." — George Clooney. [Mirror]
• "Parenting is something you can't delegate. Yes, you can find help with the daily things, but that doesn't release you from the guilt and anxiety and concern. Is there ever a time when putting your needs ahead of your children's is acceptable? That is the overarching question." — Uma Thurman, on new film Motherhood. [NY Times]
• "Losing my mother was very traumatic. I don't know if I'll ever get over it. And now I'm older than my mom was when she died, which is pretty strange. She died when she was 35. [I lived with my father after that], he was a salesman and only in his early 60s when he died [of complications from diabetes]. I was 20. I miss him every day. He had a wild streak. He was funny, larger than life, and sad. He's probably in my performance more than I know. I started acting in grade school and kept returning to it in high school and college. Theater departments are usually a big collection of orphans and screwups-sort of lost tribes-and I found kinship there. When I started thinking about what to do with the rest of my life, acting was the only thing I kept coming back to." — Jon Hamm. [Reader's Digest]
• "When I look at digital, the dark side of it for me is the physicality that's being presented alongside the Internet. I think about that movie The Matrix, and about these bodies that are human batteries that support computers. I met this guy who was creating software where you could watch Mad Men and you could chat with your friend while you're watching it, and things would pop up, and facts would pop up, and I said, 'You're a human battery. Turn the fucking thing off! You're not allowed to watch the show anymore. You're missing the idea of sitting in a dark place and having an experience. Are you just like sitting with your phone and you're kissing your girlfriend and saying, "I'm kissing my girlfriend! This is so great, we're having sex!'" EXPERIENCE THINGS!" — Matthew Weiner, creator of Mad Men, at the New Yorker Festival [NY Magazine]

• For the love of God. Khloe Kardashian says: "I want to be a skinny pregnant person." Actually, what she says when she's asked about having kids is:

"Honestly, I just lost weight! I want to be a skinny pregnant person, like how my sister Kourtney looks so cute pregnant. I can't be a house [after] I just lost weight." She does sort of redeem herself by saying: "I am always fat no matter how much weight I lose… [My sisters and I] are all curvy and we are all accepting of our body types. I think if I was in Hollywood by myself, I would be so much more susceptible to falling into having an eating disorder." [E!]

• Maybe Khloe shouldn't hear this, but Kristen Stewart says: "You should see my brother; he's, like, emaciated. We both just happen to be really skinny." [Us Magazine via Allure]
• Kim Kardashian will get $50,000 for celebrating her birthday at Tao in Las Vegas. A source says, "Kim is worth the huge fee because she's so hot." [Page Six]
• Headline Of The Day: "Michael Jackson's Giraffes in $100,000 War" [TMZ]
• Sources say the Jackson family has been invited to attend the premiere of This Is It; but Katherine Jackson and other family members insist they have been snubbed. [TMZ]
• Did Nicole Richie and Joel Madden have a secret wedding? Radar Online found out that Joel got a marriage license earlier this week. [The Star via Radar]
• Lindsay Lohan's on probation for DUI and has a court date this morning because she "failed to meet an unspecified probationary condition." [NY Post]
• Madonna on quitting Tracy Anderson workouts: "I learned a lot of great things working out with Tracy Anderson, I did not ditch or fire her. I simply wanted to try a new method of working out when my tour ended. We remain friends." [Page Six]
• Madonna and Carlos Leon threw a party for Lourdes' 13th birthday on Wednesday at trendy NYC restaurant Delicatessen. Lola had red velvet cake. [Gatecrasher]
• Eminem has declined to collaborate with fellow Michigan-er Madonna. She says: "I wanted to work with Eminem. I don't think he wanted to work with me. Maybe he's shy." That must be it! [Avril Lavigne's new man is Dole Food Company billionaire Justin Murdock. Not a sk8r boi. [Daily Telegraph]
• Diddy was throwing money off the stage at a show when his $20,000 diamond studded ring flew off. So naturally everyone was frisked before they left the event, which they didn't like. Guess what? The ring was not found. "He ain't getting' it back," one witness said. "Someone pocketed that, and they probably took it to the nearest jeweler." My guess? Someone swallowed it and is hoping for the best. [NY Post]
• "David Beckham's son Brooklyn is carving out a sporting name for himself... as an American footballer." Coaches at his school have called him a "wonderkid" and a "natural thrower and hard tackler." [The Sun]
• Courtney Love: Reformed Hole and is in the studio recording new tracks. This paper declares: "Should be interesting because she can definitely rock out." [The Sun]
• Jennifer Love Hewitt and Jamie Kennedy are still on and he "has no plans of ruining a good thing." [People]
• Jon Gosselin has reportedly approached awards shows with requests to appear as a presenter — and has been turned down by at least two productions. [MSNBC Scoop ]
• The guy who punched Leona Lewis in the face is an aspiring singer who didn't make it as a contestant on X Factor. Of course. [The Sun]
• There will be no lesbian talk in Anna Nicole Smith's hearing. Adjust accordingly. [Mirror]
• Except you can read about how "Anna Nicole Smith's female doctor funneled drugs to the Playmate to fuel their lesbian love affair" at this link. [NY Post]
• Howard K. Stern was urged to send Anna Nicole Smith to rehab, but told Anna's bodyguard rehab "would kill her." [LA Times]
• Does Donald Trump really not know who Tilda Swinton is? [Page Six]
• So you know how January Jones' rack looks huge on the cover of GQ? "They definitely did some significant retouching," claims a source. But GQ photo editor says: "Yes, they're real. And they're spectacular… People think that a person will look the same in every photograph, but that just doesn't happen… Terry [Richardson] likes to work with harder lighting, and that can create a stronger shadow — that, and body position and perspective could give the illusion that her breasts are bigger. January Jones needed no help. Trust me." [Page Six]
• Jimmy Kimmel and new girlfriend Molly McNearney — who works on his show — had a sleepover. And this is news. News accompanied by a picture of Jimmy "pasty and shirtless" on his balcony, watching Molly leave the morning after. [Radar Online]
• Wood alert: Jesse Metcalfe says that doing sex scenes with Eva Longoria for Desperate Housewives made him "pop a wheelie." [TMZ]
• Whitney Houston is mad at Wendy Williams. [Gatecrasher]
• Kylie Minogue: Spotted making out with her Spanish hunk at a party even though her parents were there. [Page Six]
• Depeche Mode's Dave Gahan denies he said "Thank you very much, Chile" when he was in Peru. [AP]
• Nigella Lawson's back went out, so she put on a corset and ate a chocolate bar. I'll have to try that next time. [Daily Express]
• BREAKING: Karina Smirnoff loves being single. [People]
• Fred Durst got married in July. Then separated a month later. And now he's filed for divorce. [People, TMZ]
• A column called "A Night Of Round Table With Monty Python" is predictably full of weird jokes. [NY Times]
• The new cast of Celebrity Apprentice includes Darryl Strawberry, Rod Blagojevich, Sinbad, Sharon Osbourne, Bret Michaels, Cyndi Lauper, Holly Robinson Peete, Carol Leifer, (who wrote for Seinfeld and whom the character of Elaine was based on), wrestlers Goldberg and Maria Kanellis, chef Curtis Stone and Olympic gold-medal swimmer Summer Sanders. [NY Post]
• "At the age of eight I discovered that I could write songs. My dad used to take them to the notary and register them so that nobody could steal them from me. Who does that? What parent takes a treasure in his child's scribbles?" — Shakira. [Guardian]
• "Before my third album, they warned me that if nothing really happened, they were going to drop me. I knew it was my last chance, so I took control. I started to get more involved with production. I started to use my own influences. My music was influenced more by the Anglo-Saxons than the local tropical or Latin roots. When I was singing in Spanish, I had a more rock'n'roll attitude. I was very inflexible, very rigid in many aspects. There were things that would be completely unacceptable to me, like wearing a leotard, or showing my legs. I was more of a purist then." — Shakira. [Guardian]
• "I envisioned that as my life: staying in academia to make a living and then taking summers off to write my novels. I understand the self-loathing and the resentment, and the discipline that it takes to sit down in front of a typewriter or computer every single day, whether it's going well or not going well … I didn't need to research how to be a professor [for Californication's third season] because I'd already been a teaching assistant when I was pursuing my Ph.D.; it was a very clear memory." — Former Yale doctoral student David Duchovny. [The Daily Beast]
• "In Uganda, fat is beautiful. [Jessica is] always scrutinized by the world. Beauty starts from within." — Joe Simpson, Jessica's dad. [MSNBC Scoop]
• "I think that for the first few seasons, it was very clear that Amanda didn't want to be bothered with any type of work. She's at a fashion magazine because she loves fashion — mostly just wearing it. There is a certain reality show with a certain stylist [Newton declines to identify it, but duh, it's Bravo's The Rachel Zoe Project], and I thought, 'Oh my God, that's a glimpse of Amanda's future.' We're going to see that Amanda's love of fashion can help her get ahead in her career. Amanda has a real skill that can actually benefit Mode magazine, apart from looking cute - not that she won't still look cute." — Becki Newton, Ugly Betty's Amanda. [TV Guide]
• "I go outside, and I'm wearing a funky T-shirt and my hair is dirty, and people say, 'What's wrong with her? She needs to invest in a hairbrush. I'm like, don't you get it? I'm not that girl! Like, I never was that girl. It's not like I was really clean-cut last year. The commenters are usually worse than the bloggers. I know what people say about me." — Kristen Stewart. [Us Magazine via Allure]
• "I grew up going to Disneyland twice a week. But I was banned for a year because I went to Disney prison. I was really young so I wasn't responsible for this - it was all my brother's fault. You get a stamp when you leave the park which if you put hairspray on it you can transfer it to someone else's hand, so in the parking lot he went up to somebody and said, 'Hey can we spray hairspray on your hand?0' and we transferred it. And then we go in through the turnstile and there's people there called Fox Fighters or some weird name, They take us aside and I'm like six-years-old and my brother says 'No matter what they say do not confess.' He was like a professional felon at twelve!" — Blake Lively.[Showbiz Spy]
• "It started with the fact that it was my very first week on The View and Barbara and Whoopi asked me if I thought the earth was round or flat. The response that came out was, 'I don't know. I'm trying to take care of my son.' I was really nervous. I was totally outside of my comfort zone and I made a comment that I didn't mean to make. It was a brain fart. I did not know that people were going to hate me as much as they did. I mean like, hate me. My website crashed. But then the women of The View came together and said, 'If we didn't think you could be here, you wouldn't be at this table. We love you. We support you. Don't even worry about it.' I got a ton of e-mails from women saying, I don't care if the earth is round or flat either, Sherri. I'm just trying to pay my bills. That's when I realized that we've gotta give ourselves a break or permission to say dumb things and keep moving. I know what a lot of other women are going through, you try to be perfect for everybody. We've gotta give ourselves a break." — Sherri Shepherd on her new self-help memoir, Permission Slips: Every Woman's Guide to Giving Herself a Break. [Time]
• "I'm old. It's an interesting thing to watch yourself grow older on screen. I was watching Up In The Air and I thought, 'Jesus, who's the old gray-haired guy?' And it was me. I never wear makeup for movies and now it's starting to show. But I'm kind of comfortable with getting older because it's better than the other option, which is being dead. So I'll take getting older." — George Clooney. [Telegraph]
• "I want to hate Megan Fox more than anything. We all do. But I read a bunch of her quotes, and she's witty and smart and carefree. I thought, 'This is the kind of girl I'd love to be friends with' "—Kristen Bell in Women's Health. [Page Six]
• "It was a challenging year. I may have thrown myself off a building. I think work saved me. I'm very grateful I had work." — Madonna. [The Sun]

• Oprah's been gushing about meeting Shawn Carter:

"Jay-Z is my new best friend!" Oprah told Gayle King. "He was so charming and delightful - and he smelled so good." [People]

• If I'm reading this story correctly, Lily Allen's "brickie boyfriend" ran away down the street to avoid being snapped by the paparazzi and she was left holding some Indian food and a pair of pants. [The Sun]
• The latest on Jon and Kate Gosselin is that he's still trying to appear on that show Divorced Dad's Club; which does not make TLC happy. And they're not happy about his conduct lately; apparently his contract has a "morals clause" that does not include being seen going in and out of bars and drinking. Kate's been "pulling up the slack" Jon's created. Plus! All the money made last season from Jon & Kate Plus 8 went into a joint account. Kate put some into a college fund for the kids; Jon spent his share. "Kate's people say Jon is making money
  on the side by selling pictures and stories of him and the kids to the tabloids." [TMZ]
• "When pictures emerged of Kate Moss looking haggard as she sunbathed in St Tropez, nobody was more shocked than the supermodel herself… now she has planned a '10 years younger' health plan to regain her youthful complexion." [Daily Mail]
• Survivor winner Richard Hatch was sent to jail after doing an interview for the Today show, even though the interview was cleared by the Bureau of Prisons. (Hatch had been on house arrest.) [AP]
• Naomi Campbell, Queen Rania, and Jacques Chirac are in Saint-Tropez, and you are not. [Page Six]
• Pregnant Penelope Cruz: Avoiding the spotlight. [Page Six]
• Mariah Carey's album has been pushed back to September 29, which means that she'll miss the Grammy cutoff date by just one day and won't be in the running. She also won't hit shelves the same day as Whitney Houston's new album, which comes out September 1.
• You know how Dr. Conrad Murray has released a video statement? Columnist Courtney Hazlett points out that Michael Jackson really pioneered the scripted, recorded statement. [MSNBC Scoop]
• "Michael Jackson 'self-harmed' to get painkillers"… "He'd bang his head against the wall, hit his fists and arms against furniture, anything to cause a cut or bruise." [Mirror]
• Michael Jackson's funeral could cost $50,000 when you add in police and pther city services. [TMZ]
• Cue screams: Joe Jonas will be one of the celebrity judges on American Idol. Victoria Beckham, Mary J. Blige and Shania Twain will also appear in the spot vacated by Paula Abdul. [People]
• Yesterday, a judge ruled that Paris Hilton won't have to pay investors from failed flick Pledge This, who were claiming she didn't promote the movie enough. [Page Six]
• "Russell Brand shows off sex moves." [UKPA, Twitter]
• Ask Katy Perry a question her manager doesn't like, and he will pull the plug on your interview. Literally. Like, the lights will go out. Despite this, Katy was "delightful." [News.com.au]
• Inglourious Basterds prequel? "If the movie proves to be very popular, then we'll do it," says Quentin Tarantino. [Gatecrasher]
• Kim Kardashian and Reggie Bush went to dinner together on Monday — strolling into a Ruth's Chris Steak House in New Orleans. Back together? Just friends? [People]
• "Kourtney Kardashian Agonized Over Whether to Keep Her Baby." [People
• Susan Sarandon's daughter Eva Amurri took pole-dancing lessons to appear as a stripper in the third season of Californication. "I have such a respect now for women who do this. It's very athletic, I mean, they're athletes!" she says. And her mom came to a few classes: "We didn't, like, do it together, although I'm sure that's a nice visual for people." Of appearing naked on TV, Amurri says: "You basically see boobs and butt. It's the same as you would see on a European beach. It's nothing scandalous… Men are naked as much as the women are on that show, which I really like. If you're going to be naked, at least it's equal-opportunity nudity." [Observer]
• Bruce Willis and wife Emma Heming took a tour of L.A.'s "megapricey" Carlyle Residences, where apartments start at $2.9 million and penthouses go for as much as $15 million. [E!]
• A Leona Lewis track leaked on to the Internet, and Simon Cowell, quite naturally, called the cops: Looks like her record label was being targeted by hackers. [The Sun]
• Jon Hamm has joined the cast of Sucker Punch, an action fantasy flick with Vanessa Hudgens, Abbie Cornish and Carla Gugino, among others. It's set in the 1950s and directed by 300's Zack Snyder. [The Hollywood Reporter]
• American Idol's David Cook, 26, has an "older woman" in his life: She's 35. [Page Six]
• Liam and Noel Gallagher no longer speak to each other. "He doesn't like me and I don't like him, that's it," Liam says. Nevertheless! Oasis will headline the V festival this weekend. [Independent]
• "Mindy McCready Wouldn't Leave My Daughter's House Says Kari Ann's Mom." [Radar Online]
• Rhea Perlman and her daughter, Lucy DeVito, will appear in Love, Loss And What I Wore, an Off-Broadway production produced by Nora and Delia Ephron. [Variety]
• The surviving members the iconic British comedy troupe Monty Python will be presented with a special BAFTA honor this fall. [UPI]
• "I'm a fan of the traditional Speedo. I think it's time to bring back the ass cleavage." — Vivica. A. Fox. [WWD]
• "This is the first time someone gave me a part where I'm strong, where I'm the engine, the motor of the scene. Many times actresses are an accessory to a story line. To be handed intelligent dialogue was nice. It was a very new experience for me." — Diane Kruger, on Inglourious Basterds. [Reuters]
• "I love the way my mother wore clothes. She used to cut her own hair and wore very little make up and she just did things differently. She used to wear odd, different-colour argyle socks but then she also wore beautiful British tailored suits and little tea dresses with platform shoes. That's sort of how people dress now so she was very modern and ahead of her time in many ways. She really didn't give a damn about what people thought and back then it was all about conforming. It really wasn't the done thing to reflect your own personality through your clothes. She was also an amazing photographer. Much of her work launched Rolling Stone magazine and at the same time she was very modest. If she had met the Queen she would probably have been more interested in talking to the butler. That's just the way she was." — Stella McCartney on late mother Linda, to Harper's Bazaar. [Daily Express]
• "It's awesome and has great margaritas and tacos... How fun is that? I just go and sit on a bar stool and it's fun, like, 'Oh, I'm hangin' here at my place.'" — Renee Zellweger, on the East Hampton taco bar, Blue Parrot, she co-owns. [Daily Express]
• "I'd be out there, and it would be scorching hot, so I would take off all of my clothes and garden. And then I would jump in the pool and swim — and I always get in the pool naked. I used to spend a lot of time with Woody Harrelson, and he's not afraid to get naked." — Alicia Silverstone on gardening naked. [Page Six]
• "[Our relationship] was amazing… [But] Jon said he couldn't be seen having a girlfriend, so he told me to drive to a neighbor's house after midnight, when the kids were asleep. He said he'd pick me up in his four-wheeler, take me to his house and drop me off again at 6 a.m." — Kate Major on seeing Jon Gosselin, with whom she claims she had three sexual encounters. More in Midweek Madness. [Gatecrasher via Life & Style]
• "HIV/Aids is a huge pandemic that to be fair, to be honest, governments have not responded to effectively enough. Churches can do a tremendous amount, and I know they do, but then again they can do tremendous harm, because when the Pope goes to a country in Africa and tells them that they shouldn't be using condoms when we know that HIV is a sexually transmitted disease, I don't think that makes any sense at all. I'm comfortably wealthy, white, educated — I'm one of the lucky ones. I have had good healthcare and my children have good healthcare. I want that for everybody, I want people to have fundamental access to the most basic things. Everybody can do something, I really believe that, that each of us have a sphere of influence, whether it be your friends, your family or workplace, or colleagues." — Annie Lennox, at the Festival of Politics at the Scottish Parliament in Edinburgh. [BBC News]

• Jennifer Garner has obtained a court order protecting herself from a man she believes is endangering her family. She claims Steven Burky has been "stalking and harassing" her, sending "packages and letters containing delusional and paranoid thoughts and following me around the country." The guy showed up at her house and said, "God has sent me a vision of you being persecuted in some manner that may result in your death." Burky has a blog called Satanic Panic, on which he wrote: "Are multitudes of adults resorting to human sacrifices and then repressing this information from fear of Christ..." [TMZ]
• Lindsay Lohan "sobbed in the street" after her fight with Samantha Ronson, and this report claims it was physical, with Sam "throwing punches" on the dancefloor when she saw LL dancing with her ex Calum Best. [The Sun]
• Madonna and Guy Ritchie have reached an agreement regarding their divorce! Guy is refusing to take a single penny, and they'll share custody of the kids, except Lourdes, who will stay with her mom. [This Is London, Times of London]

• Everyone loves picking out clothes for the new First Lady! The Michelle Obama Style Guide will come out in the Spring; former Mademoiselle and Shop Etc. editor Mandi Norwood is writing it. Norwood says: "Not since Jackie O have we had a first lady become a fashion icon. Michelle Obama will be one of history's most vibrant first ladies; she has a distinctive style that every American woman can aspire to, whether the consumer is a Target shopper or some one more likely to be found on Miracle Mile." [Page Six]
• How does Angelina Jolie feel when people refer to her and Brad Pitt as "Brangelina"? "Honestly, I don't have a thought either way," she says. "Although on the set of Changeling, Clint Eastwood was calling us 'Clintelina'. I think that sounds funnier." Oh, and Angelina hasn't seen Brad's new movie, Benjamin Button yet. But she says, "Brad looks good ageing backwards. And no, I've not been on the set of Inglourious Basterds. This is a Tarantino film, so we're thinking, 'What's a good day to bring children on set?'" [Telegraph]
• Winona Ryder had her stomach pumped at a hospital in London after a suspected accidental overdose on a British Airways flight. She has a fear of flying and may have taken too many Xanax pills — this report claims she "collapsed twice" in first class. (How do you collapse when you're in a first class seat on a plane?) In any case, she's been discharged from the hospital. [The Sun, Mirror, Telegraph]
• Rosie O'Donnell says Barbara Walters wanted everyone on The View to act like they got along: "I'm not saying they loathe each other, but the fact of the matter is, there was not a lot of camaraderie off camera." Rosie also says her new show will not be like The View: "The job description here is to entertain. It will be an hour of fun, laughter, singing and dancing. No politics. No arguing. No talking about controversial things. That, to me, is what is needed now." [LA Times]
• Jimmy Kimmel and Sarah Silverman showed up arm-in-arm to the GQ Men of the Year party, and held hands at the event and were spotted kissing, so it's looking like it's on. [Yahoo News]
• Kelly Osbourne: Engaged! Boyfriend Luke Worrell asked Ozzy Osbourne for permission to propose, awww. And brave! [The Sun]
• Brooke Shields says the world has got to save Lipstick Jungle. "NBC is now flooded with lipstick. Women are in uproar over this…they’ve tried to kill us before and we have refused to die." And writer Ilene Rosenzweig says: "There are no other female-driven dramas on television, and if this one goes, it will have been the last. But women are so sick of reality TV and want to have a place where they can turn for escapism and frivolity, but also to confront the real struggles that powerful women face in the workplace and at home." [Daily Beast]
• It's official: Britney Spears did write a song for Adnan Ghalib, called "Mmm Papi," and the lyrics are: "You love it when I'm freaking out / Things get rough and there's no doubt / You will always be there for me." [Perez Hilton]
• Okay, she didn't write the song for Adnan. It's just a song. [Perez Hilton]
• Michael Jackson could be forced to fly to the High Court in London to testify in a case being brought against him by the King of Bahrain's son. [Telegraph]
• Oh, wait: Michael Jackson is intending to go to court, his lawyers claim. [Yahoo News]
• Jennifer Aniston watches Friends, and says "there are times when I laugh my rear end off." Nothing more amusing than watching yourself be amusing, huh? [MSNBC]
• Why Forbes has an annual list of "Hollywood's 10 Hottest Tots" is a question to ponder, but know this: Suri Cruise is number one. Shiloh Jolie-Pitt is in second place after coming in first last year; Zahara Jolie-Pitt, 3, is in third place; and Pax Jolie-Pitt, 4, is fourth on the list. [Breitbart]
• Another Forbes list: Hollywood's Top-Earning Couples. "Jay-Z and his new bride, Beyoncé Knowles, collectively raked in $162 million between June 1, 2007 and June 1, 2008." [Forbes]
• Paris Hilton and Benji Madden have broken up, you guys, but no one cheated on anyone: Vanessa Fontana from that BFF show says "Paris and Benji were loyal and faithful to each other. I love Paris, and I just want her to be happy. I think that they'll be better as friends." [Yahoo News via E!]
• And yes, Paris was "all over" her ex, Stavros Niarchos, earlier this week. A source spills: "Benji didn't like it that she spent the evening with Stavros. He blew up and Paris felt victimized. He gave her a lot of grief about that. She felt she couldn't cut loose and party. He doesn't drink and doesn't think she should either. She felt too fenced in." [Star Magazine]
• A different person says Paris and Stavros were just having a friendly conversation. "In no way are they romantic, nor do they want to get back together," the source says. [People]
• Mark Hoppus from Blink 182 says the plane crash has him speaking to Travis Barker again, after the band's messy split in 2005. "We're just reconnecting as friends after four years of not talking," he says. "It's a good thing." [Reuters]
• Additional info about the crash that injured Travis Barker here. The pilot of the jet warned air traffic controllers that his plane was "going off the end" before it crashed, killing him and 3 others. The cockpit recordings have been released. [CBS News]
• You'll enjoy this: NeNe has written "5 Ways Real Housewives Of Atlanta has Changed My Life." She says: "I’m not surprised that Anderson Cooper is talking about me! Wouldn’t you talk about me? I’m not surprised. Anderson Cooper is gorgeous. He is THE silver fox, and I just wish he’d come over on this side of the street. And come over here and talk to me!" [People]
• Fifty-eight year old Bill Murray was spotted having a fancy dinner in Chicago with 27-year-old Miss USA, Crystle Stewart. Nothing lost in translation there! [Perez Hilton]
• Kevin Spacey is in a new flick called Men Who Stare At Goats. He plays a "psychic guru." George Clooney is in the film, too and, presumably, some goats. [io9]
• Noted author Pamela Anderson has written an open letter to Barack Obama. She has suggestions! Free Leonard Peltier, castrate sex offenders, legalize marijuana, promote vegetarianism, stop animal testing, and bring the troops home safely! Now where's her cabinet position? [Perez Hilton]
• Film students! James Franco wants to be in your movie. "I haven’t acted in any student films yet," he says. "You would think that more people would ask me to be in their movies, but they haven’t." Franco is studying directing at NYU. Please, guys. Cast him. [NY Mag]
• Oh! James Franco's next role after Milk will be gay poet Allen Ginsberg in the movie Howl. Back-to-back gay roles "don't make any difference to me," Franco says. [Rush & Molloy]
• Julia Stiles was in a play that required her to utter these words about her "first time in bed with a black man": "He came over to borrow a highlighter. Next thing I knew, my panties were off and I was sitting on his face." [NY Mag]
• People are bidding £1 million for the house where David Beckham lived as a baby. Similar houses in the area were sold for £250,000. WTF. [Yahoo News]
• Whoopi Goldberg shows Liz Smith her tattoos: She has two dragons and a little Woodstock. [WowoWow]
• Tom Jones sang on the sidewalk in London to raise money for a cancer charity. He belted out "It's Not Unusual" and people did double takes; he performed four songs for the British Busking Challenge run by the BBC's Culture Show. [News.com.au]
• Megan Fox and Brian Austin Green are still engaged. And the wedding will be small, which means you're not invited. Sorry. [People]
• Back in August, Jackson Browne sued John McCain for using his song, "Running On Empty." Now McCain says Browne complained so he could get press to promote his new album, which came out a month later. McCain also argues that he can use whatever song he wants, since he's running for office and not trying to make money off of the music. What will the court decide? [TMZ]
• Michelle Hurd, who plays Eleanor Waldorf's assistant, Laurel, on Gossip Girl, says she bought her mom a vibrator for Christmas: "I actually got my mother the Rabbit last year," she says. "She was quite shocked and turned red instantly, but probably a month later she very quietly thanked me." [NY Mag]
• Actor John Turturro has great things to say about Barack Obama: "I think it's very interesting that he wants to surround himself with people who are strong and good. That's what Lincoln did—he put his adversaries, people who were on the other side, into his cabinet." But! Turturro, born and raised in Brooklyn, doesn't mind if Hillary Clinton moves to Washington: "I don't consider Hillary Clinton a New Yorker. I consider her a Senator from New York, but I don't consider her a New Yorker. She is from Illinois. A lot of people in New York aren't from New York, but she hasn't been here long enough for me to consider her a New Yorker." [Observer]
• Usher's mom maybe didn't pay her limo driver, boo. [TMZ]
• Is Kirk Cameron — who says civil marriage is not susceptible to any change because it is ordained by God — one of the "American Taliban"? [The Atlantic]
• Brit band Take That has a song inspired Amy Winehouse: Lyrics include, "All this noise and all these lights/All this talking through the night. All this expectation now it’s making me neurotic/ Tell me have I seen your face before? How did it come to this?/ How did it ever come to this?" [The Sun]
• Homecoming time! James Van Der Beek went back to Wilmington, NC — working with some of his former Dawson's Creek crew — for a guest appearance on the CW's One Tree Hill. [AP]
• Is anyone sorta tickled by the Bob Hope postage stamp? Thanks for the memories… [Yahoo News]
• Ivanka Trump's writing her first book! A "motivational title for women of her generation" with personal experiences in life and business, and lessons learned from her father and other business luminaries. Look for it in fall 2009. [PW]
• Adrien Brody was interviewed by gay magazine The Advocate, but refused to answer the silly questions asked of him, explaining that he is a "serious person." [Perez Hilton]
• Mischa Barton's official web site is live. Not that you care. [Socialite Life]
• Rita Wilson tried to buy a Beatles poster for her husband, Tom Hanks, but the seller couldn't provide a certificate of authenticity. Wilson declined to make the purchase and the seller "became belligerent" and now the mess is in court. Can't buy me love? [TMZ]
• Rod Stewart's son Sean is being sued by his personal trainer. Pay your bills! [TMZ]
• Four words: Monty Python YouTube Channel! [Telegraph]
• Mel Gibson's marriage is not on the rocks, even though there's "a dark-haired beauty named Oksana" who hangs around his movie set and "no one is quite sure what her role is." [Rush & Molloy]
• "She packs for me with beautiful notes in my luggage that I discover. She's always doing sweet things." — Seal on Heidi Klum. [People]
• "I like writing songs about boys and relationships. And when someone breaks up with me, I like to write about it, because I feel like I have the last word. That's the fun part. I have no issue with naming names. My personal goal is for my songs to be so detailed that the guy the song is written about knows it's about him." — Taylor Swift. [Rolling Stone]
• "She's a technically amazing singer, obviously — if she wasn't a star, she could always make a living with that voice, because it's like an instrument. But it's also such an original voice — as soon as you hear it on any track, you know exactly who it is. A great singer is somebody who makes you believe what they're saying, and you always believe what Annie is telling you… I also have to be superficial for a moment and point out that she is this unbelievably hot chick — and she has stayed hot to this day." — Rob Thomas on Annie Lennox. [Rolling Stone]
• "Well there's no doubt that election night was a bittersweet night. But in some ways, these kinds of setbacks allow for a bigger fight, more challenges, and eventually we're going to get it right. Eventually the American public will figure out that it really isn't right to deny citizens basic civil human rights. And we can no longer allow that to happen." — Kevin Spacey on Prop 8. [HuffPo]
• "Travelling with the family is fun… The other day, when we flew from LA to Germany, all of us had terrible jet lag. The children kept waking up, so we all got up, turned on the TV, made snacks, and were up until 4am. We laughed our heads off - the kids are some of the funniest people Brad and I have ever met. So more [children] sounds like a great idea, as much as it's hard work. It's just worth it." — Angelina Jolie. [Telegraph]
• "This is nothing new for me. When I got married, it was an act of civil disobedience as much as it was a love story. There is not any person in the country who doesn’t know I’m for gay marriage. I'm not vocal enough? I got married before anyone else did. I’ve been living it and living it for a very long time." — Rosie O'Donnell, to critics who question why she's been "absent" from the uproar over Prop 8. [LA Times]