monkeys - Jezebel

posts about #monkeys more →
"You Don't Call Jessie A Monkey. That's My Daughter"
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Adorable "Rogue Monkey" Terrorizes Tokyo Train Station
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Just Another Sticky Night Of Abject Stupidity

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FatBottomedGirl
10/02/09

In reply to "You Don't Call Jessie A Monkey. That's My Daughter"
While I will admit that baby monkeys are adorable, they are also a public health hazard.
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BetteD
10/02/09

In reply to "You Don't Call Jessie A Monkey. That's My Daughter"
This is all well and good until they become sexually mature. Let's just say your Curious George doll won't be so "curious" anymore.
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austingrrl
10/02/09

In reply to "You Don't Call Jessie A Monkey. That's My Daughter"
Where are the monkey babies' monkey mommas?

Sad.
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Brigit
10/02/09

@austingrrl: Probably? Shot.
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pursedangler
10/02/09

In reply to "You Don't Call Jessie A Monkey. That's My Daughter"
Well, it's all fun and games until your daughter develops a bond with you and rips off your best friend's face.
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rodmanstreet
10/02/09

In reply to "You Don't Call Jessie A Monkey. That's My Daughter"
And by the by... how quickly we forget about the 200lb chimpanzee that ripped off a lady's face in Connecticut last year.
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rodmanstreet
10/02/09

In reply to "You Don't Call Jessie A Monkey. That's My Daughter"
Oh my god, I was expecting to click on this and find some tragic story of a deformed baby, and people call her a monkey, and we should be more aware of some tragic monkey-face disorder...

But it's a fucking monkey.
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applejuice
10/02/09

@rodmanstreet: You and me both. I was already all up in arms about those heartless bastards calling some poor hirsute baby a monkey.

And then I watched it. It reminds me of the show "My Fake Baby" I saw over here in the UK about the ladies who get reborn dolls and treat them like babies. One of them was a lady who's daughter and grandchild moved away to Australia and she was really depressed. She filled the gap with this doll, treating it like a real child. It was really sad, pretty much all the people on the show seemed to need therapy rather than a doll.
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GoldenRatioφ (aka -girl11)
10/03/09

@applejuice: Haha, I think I've been on Jezebel too long because my righteous indignation meter was very high before I clicked through to the clip.

And now, I will have nightmares since it's bedtime. Damn it.
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NeomaOrestes
10/02/09

In reply to "You Don't Call Jessie A Monkey. That's My Daughter"
did anyone else see that other piece on the same topic, i think it was on the documentary series "the outsiders" on abc?

at the end they visited a monkey sanctuary where many (all?) of the monkeys were once pets that were given back by their owners. a lot of them developed diabetes from eating candy and sugar (like the lollipop and cake shown in this clip) and living sedentary lifestyles. others rock and shake themselves and have erratic behavior. some of the monkeys were pets for years and all of the sudden one day flipped out on their owners.

monkeys are not meant to be treated like children, because they AREN'T. i'd much rather see a documentary about the sanctuary then the crazies that selfishly adopt these poor monkeys
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BAngieB
10/02/09

In reply to "You Don't Call Jessie A Monkey. That's My Daughter"
"And whatever you do, don't call my brother a 'monkey's uncle'!"
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MissMollyKate
10/02/09

In reply to "You Don't Call Jessie A Monkey. That's My Daughter"
I seriously thought this was one of those programs about an extremely rare medical disease that has no known treatment or cause. And I guess in a way it is.
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BUNNYLUV
10/02/09

In reply to "You Don't Call Jessie A Monkey. That's My Daughter"
True story;
When my mom was little she begged my Grandpa for a pet monkey, he made a deal with the pet store to borrow the monkey and give it to her as a pet. After ONE day of horrificaly unsanitary conditions she was begging to give the monkey back. Luckily he had arranged just that all along. To this day my mom shudders at the thought.
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LaComtesse
10/02/09

@BUNNYLUV: Slow clap for grandpa.
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TheUptightMidwesterner
10/02/09

In reply to "You Don't Call Jessie A Monkey. That's My Daughter"
If there is a God, this will be Michele Bachmann in 20 years.
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Edited by TheUptightMidwesterner at 10/02/09 1:50 PM

Apollonia
10/02/09

In reply to "You Don't Call Jessie A Monkey. That's My Daughter"
Don't those people know Butters is a BOY name??
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sarasasa
10/02/09

In reply to "You Don't Call Jessie A Monkey. That's My Daughter"
Is that woman putting lipstick on a monkey? And I thought people dressing up their dogs was bad enough...
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TheFormerJuneBronson
10/02/09

In reply to "You Don't Call Jessie A Monkey. That's My Daughter"
I do not like monkeys. And that is not a child. I'm willing to allow an owner-pet relationship, but that is not her daughter, she is not raising it, and she is not its parent. It is a wild animal, and she's unhinged. I think this is actually worse than the doll people. The doll people don't act out on a living being.
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LaComtesse
10/02/09

In reply to "You Don't Call Jessie A Monkey. That's My Daughter"
Would watching this nullify my New Year’s resolution not to watch television that encourages bad behavior? (Seriously, I’ve been doing well! No Rock of Love, no Top Model—those have been the toughest, but it’s great!) See, this could be one of those cautionary tales shows, which would be okay OR it could be a "Awww! Look! She thinks the monkey is people!" shows.

This is a moral debate of Talmudic proportions.
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sarasasa
10/02/09

@LaComtesse: The premise has great potential, if they show the hardships animal shelters go through because people get rid of their monkeys after they grow into adulthood since adult monkeys can be extremely aggressive, not at all docile and people don't want to deal with that. And because they've been brought up in a house and declawed by the owners they cannot be reinserted into the wild.

But this just looks like making fun of the crazies that think monkeys are babies.
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egg cream
10/02/09

@LaComtesse: Hmm. I don't think it's encouraging bad behavior -- she would have had a monkey whether they were filming her or not, and she didn't get the monkey or act even crazier about the monkey just so she could be filmed. Also, she is not competing with sixteen other women to win the monkey's love and/or a cash prize. So you should go ahead and watch it. Plus, she thinks her MONKEY is a BABY!
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