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New York, 11:36 AM
Sat Nov 21
67 posts in the last 24 hours
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01:29 AM
you'll see their eyes are just like yours.
Hold their hand,
it will feel like yours.
Listen to their heart, it beats like yours.
...
I wish people could talk about their problems, their pains, their depressions without the judgement of those listening. It defeats the point of listening...
We all get sad, lonely, depressed. The rich, the poor, the healthy, the sick, the beautiful, the not-so-much. Is is too much to have a touch of empathy? (Anyone see Funny Face? Anyone?)
- this might also be an extension of my mother's comment after I told her about Dahl Kim's death... "Was she too rich and beautiful?"
11/20/09
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03:55 AM
11:34 AM
#tips
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It's especially funny that some commenters are getting annoyed that these guys are taking jobs. If this post was about rich kids who do nothing, I bet people would be bitching that they should get jobs.
Is anyone posting here really "poor" especially when compared with the rest of the world? Everyone here has it better than someone, globally, they have it better than most.
Really read some of the comments, they're (unintentionally?) hilarious.
11/20/09
11/20/09
Wait... so you mean you don't think you're the WORST for taking an internship!? Heh. I mean, what's the solution there? Do people think that if "rich kids" stop taking unpaid internships, suddenly they'd be able to afford to?
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Other people having it worse than you doesn't mean you can't be upset (trust, nothing annoys me more than the middle class morons telling me I have "first world problems"), but I guess my privilege is showing because I can't comprehend people being upset with their socioeconomic class. It is what it is, and most likely, it's not changing. The problem isn't gaps in "class", the problems lie in lack in opportunity. We need better schools, better heath care, etc etc etc. Which is why taxes need to be raised. A lot.
11/20/09
11/20/09
You can say the same thing about college that you're saying about internships...
01:08 AM
#tips
01:09 AM
#tips
11/20/09
But at the same time, I read stories like this and think, "First World problems, people! These are First World problems! Not having safe drinking water, dodging bullets, slow starvation...those are actual problems. Some perspective, please!"
And then I feel bad for disliking people with money, because after all, they ARE trying. Agh, I hate it when I can't just hate people for simple-minded reasons.
11/20/09
Go out to restaurants as often as possible rich kid. It helps the money go around and stimulates the economy. If it makes you feel better you can leave an extra large tip to that crabby waitress who was probably up all night with her newborn and working on her masters thesis.
11/20/09
We live in this era where we all present ourselves as a product. It's the difference between somebody saying "I am" and "I am the kind of person who".
If you want to work for a non-profit, that's amazing. Own it. Say, "I am working for a non-profit". Say, "I am rich because of my family". Say, "I am guilty sometimes for having money".
I know too many people - rich and not - who are laboring under the misapprehension that people care about the mysterious underpinnings of their psyche or are interested in the mundane details of their likes and dislikes. These people package themselves with grand pronouncements: "I am the kind of person who refuses to take money from my parents", or "I am the kind of person who believes eating in restaurants is bourgeois", or "I am the kind of person who only drinks fair trade black coffee/ shops at goodwill/ makes great art/ feels incredibly empty".
Nobody gives a shit what kind of rich person you are. Just be a human. You are not inherently more interesting or complicated than anyone else. Get some life experience and learn that self-awareness, self-deprecation, and empathy is not equivalent to fetishizing the "poor" or living like common people do or indulging in righteous self-loathing or telling me what a special snowflake you are.
Or, in the words of my husband, "Blah fucking blah, you privileged twat. Nobody fucking cares."
/FIN.
11/20/09
The last part of your comment reminded me of a Jon Stewart line. He was referring to people who lie, cheat and steal but I think it has relevance here: "Be a f*cking human!"
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11/20/09
No, it's not okay, you twit. It's not okay for non-rich people to do it; it's certainly not okay for you to do it. Suck it up and ask for help. Non-rich people do not want company. We want you to consider that to the rest of us, our nonprofit jobs aren't just philanthropic icing on a secure future; they are our jobs, which pay for our homes and families, and when you steal from nonprofits, you steal from all of us who need to work there. Jesus, Mary, and Joseph.
Separate issue: I wish just one of these people had talked about using their power and/or their wealth to create or save jobs in this country. While they're playing at work, people are losing their homes and running out of unemployment insurance. Yes, charities need help. But more people need livelihoods than people who need the services of charities. And a lot of people who are now rich got that way by outsourcing jobs that Americans needed to live on. If they want to feel guilty, they can start right there.
11/20/09
Money is a finate resource. The money that hospital spent on his xray could have been used for someone who really needed it.
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#tips
11/20/09
My husband is from an upper middle class family and my family is very poor. He has worked really hard to become successful in his career, but I can't help but resent the opportunities that he has been given his whole life. What really gets to me is that he doesn't see how much of an advantage someone from his background has. He doesn't see that's it not based solely on hard work.
I realize now that we're married it's "our" success. But it still sucks to be the one in the relationship with the crappy job who had to choose between not finishing college or being homeless at the time.
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11/20/09
My brother-in-law wasted his twenties, then woke up, his parents bailed him out, and now he's doing well. He doesn't think people living in poverty should get any kind of government help because he thinks they were all like he was-- just irresponsible people who should have worked harder. He totally misses that he didn't work his way to where he is now-- he got BAILED OUT and then found a decent job because his parents paid his way through school. Someone without a wealthy family like his would have been screwed for life. They would never have had the luxury to waste their 20's partying in the first place.
I am extremely aware of the privilege my little family has now. It is a huge relief to know that I'll never have to worry about being out on the street. So even though we're trying to do things on our own right now-- my husband and I are both college students plus he works and we have two little kids-- we know we're way better off than most people in our current income bracket. We don't live with the fear that one major disaster would ruin us. I grew up with that hanging over my head-- with a dad who had health problems which meant my parents were never able to get ahead-- that fear that one more job loss, one more lengthy hospitalization, and we may lose everything. If you haven't been there you can never understand what an immense privilege it is to know you have a place to fall. I do resent people who don't understand that.
11/20/09
That being said, it isn't that I didn't KNOW how to manage money; I had seen it modeled for me all my life. I was just never required to do it myself, and so when I was out on my own, Grandpa's "never spend money you don't have" mantra seemed to slip my mind.
Additionally, my grandpa and dad were/are notoriously frugal--my dad will exercise the right to a senior citizen discount on a 89 cent soda at McDonald's-- and because this behavior embarrassed me immensely, not to mention having an overall desire to be nothing like my father, I really threw the baby out with the bathwater, failing to discern between behaviors I should model (money management) and those I shouldn't (pretty much everything else).
I am in no way in the same position that these kids are (my mom has told me "Don't even think about an inheritance. I'm spending every dime") but I do think that it is admirable-if misguided--to try to overcome the extravagant lifestyle these kids grew up with. It's hard to break life long habits and change deeply instilled ideas about the way that the world works. Good for anyone trying to overcome that.
Sorry this is so long: as Mark Twain (or TS Eliot or Proust or Ben Franklin and probably a million other people) said, "If I had more time, I would have written a shorter letter." I haven't quite mastered that. :-)
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There's actually an organization called Wealth for the Common Good that I'm trying to get my grandparents to join that recruits wealthy individuals to fight for progressive tax reform and speak publicly about how they should be made to pay more. I think they have might ties to Resource Generation (which I find to be annoying and not really understand the complexities of privilege) but I also think the organization has an angle we never hear.
11/20/09
And if all private property is nationalized, what about the LIVERY OF SIESIN?
#tips
10/19/09
This kind of arrangement, where the woman has the steady job and daddy stays home to craft eco-friendly you-tube videos or whatever, seems to be more and more common. Certainly, the reverse used to be a common arrangement for couples with the power-daddy and a mom that stays home and makes candles or whatnot, and I almost applaud the fact that now it seems a gender-neutral situation, but I still resent the fact that I'm sitting here relentlessly pursuing a law-degree while every man I meet is working on his writing or formulating his amazing spike jonze-esque film debut and being supported by their parents. Why are women more and more the only ones being encouraged to be responsible? Is this the result of my parents' generation where everyone got divorced and the mothers all preached aggressive self-reliance?
Its not a bad thing that being successful is no longer the badge of masculinity it once was, but I know I feel no sympathy for a man who _hopes_ to someday contribute to the family expenses with his totally fun sounding interest in custom golf clubs. Maybe I'm just bitter because it seems I'm always the one buying dinner these days. #wagegap
10/19/09
Anyway, he got fired well over a year ago, and hasn't worked since. Part of it was pure laziness (he didn't go to find a job, since he was in school and had loans that covered the bills) and part of it was sudden recession in which it was next to impossible to find work. As long as he paid his half of the bills, I was fine. It's his money and his life, and I don't really give a shit as long as I don't have to support him.
Then the student loans didn't come. His parents had been knocked down a tax bracket, and they decided that it was the perfect time to audit. They also told him not to get a job, as it would put him in a higher need bracket and expedite the process. I was working 20 hours a week or less on overnights, and not exactly bringing in the biggest paychecks. I ended up paying the rent through November, and was on the verge of bankruptcy when the loans FINALLY came (after Thanksgiving, oddly enough). He paid me back in full the first day he got his loans.
So, technically, I'm the "breadwinner". He's never once said anything about how our genders play into it. It's always been about how it works for us - that I had to pay the bills, and yes, I resented it a lot. Not because he is "the man" and must pay the bills, but because I wasn't making enough money to support two people. I was hardly making enough to support one. I kept my job because I hardly missed a day (he had a lot of funerals and family emergencies). I am more concerned about how this will affect his future, now that he doesn't owe me money any more. His self-image is not tied to providing for me, but rather, being an equal partner, and it hurt both of us when he couldn't do that. #wagegap
10/19/09
Also, custom golf clubs? Wow. #wagegap
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