Jezebel 
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New York, 9:00 PM
Sun Nov 8
22 posts in the last 24 hours
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10/19/09
This kind of arrangement, where the woman has the steady job and daddy stays home to craft eco-friendly you-tube videos or whatever, seems to be more and more common. Certainly, the reverse used to be a common arrangement for couples with the power-daddy and a mom that stays home and makes candles or whatnot, and I almost applaud the fact that now it seems a gender-neutral situation, but I still resent the fact that I'm sitting here relentlessly pursuing a law-degree while every man I meet is working on his writing or formulating his amazing spike jonze-esque film debut and being supported by their parents. Why are women more and more the only ones being encouraged to be responsible? Is this the result of my parents' generation where everyone got divorced and the mothers all preached aggressive self-reliance?
Its not a bad thing that being successful is no longer the badge of masculinity it once was, but I know I feel no sympathy for a man who _hopes_ to someday contribute to the family expenses with his totally fun sounding interest in custom golf clubs. Maybe I'm just bitter because it seems I'm always the one buying dinner these days. #wagegap
10/19/09
Anyway, he got fired well over a year ago, and hasn't worked since. Part of it was pure laziness (he didn't go to find a job, since he was in school and had loans that covered the bills) and part of it was sudden recession in which it was next to impossible to find work. As long as he paid his half of the bills, I was fine. It's his money and his life, and I don't really give a shit as long as I don't have to support him.
Then the student loans didn't come. His parents had been knocked down a tax bracket, and they decided that it was the perfect time to audit. They also told him not to get a job, as it would put him in a higher need bracket and expedite the process. I was working 20 hours a week or less on overnights, and not exactly bringing in the biggest paychecks. I ended up paying the rent through November, and was on the verge of bankruptcy when the loans FINALLY came (after Thanksgiving, oddly enough). He paid me back in full the first day he got his loans.
So, technically, I'm the "breadwinner". He's never once said anything about how our genders play into it. It's always been about how it works for us - that I had to pay the bills, and yes, I resented it a lot. Not because he is "the man" and must pay the bills, but because I wasn't making enough money to support two people. I was hardly making enough to support one. I kept my job because I hardly missed a day (he had a lot of funerals and family emergencies). I am more concerned about how this will affect his future, now that he doesn't owe me money any more. His self-image is not tied to providing for me, but rather, being an equal partner, and it hurt both of us when he couldn't do that. #wagegap
10/19/09
Also, custom golf clubs? Wow. #wagegap
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10/19/09
I think we're doing alright financially, number 4, take a hike.
Hey look, we're doing really well, I think I'll go solo now.
Oh man, recession, alright Kanye I guess we can do that remix.
(Not that I really think Beyonce is feeling the recession, or that she really needs Kanye around, but you know.) #wagegap
10/19/09
whut? Is that in the bible somewhere? #wagegap
10/19/09
I am confused by that also. I was just reading somewhere about how life during biblical times was matriarchal, but that point was obviously overlooked in organized Christianity. Even so, I don't remember learning in catechism that the dude has to bring home the bacon. #wagegap
10/19/09
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10/19/09
Jeez, I'm so glad to be away from organized religion, but I still know how fundamentalists think. #wagegap
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10/19/09
Every time I think I'm out of reasons to crack on my former religion, they pull me back in… :-\ #wagegap
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10/05/09
10/04/09
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10/04/09
"Everybody sort of defines themselves as middle class" in America, says Steven R. Pressman, a professor of economics and finance at Monmouth University in West Long Branch, N.J. "Self-perception is a funny thing."
From this article: [articles.moneycentral.msn.com]
10/04/09
Also, I'm confused - she makes six figures, and managed to save 6,000. I hope that doesn't comprise her entire savings. I hope that's in addition to her retirement fund. Otherwise, on a third of her income, I've managed to save as much in just a couple of years of half-hearted trying. So, Fail.
RICH is the new rich? What is that supposed to mean? Plenty of people have enough money coming in to fund a comfortable existence, but as we've seen over the last 18 months, few of us have been taking care of our wealth in a meaningful way. $100k coming in and spending $99k on objects is not being rich.
Caring about your savings, retirement fund, taking care of the stuff you DO own, and knowing the difference between needs and wants makes you far richer than half the rich people out there.
Being broke isn't glamorous, whether you earn $20k a year or $500k. But you can live comfortably, smartly, and richly on a middle-class income if you're smart about your finances.
10/03/09
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10/03/09
As for us, little has changed outright in the recession, aside from the slow dribbling away of the actual value of what we make (as prices rise, benefits lag, raises don't materialize, opportunities for improvement don't exist). We were just hanging on to middle class before, and we still are. What has changed: now, we're slightly more grateful that things aren't a whole lot worse, and we've pretty much stopped hoping things will get better, and have started hoping that the slow erosion of our income value doesn't continue until we're genuinely desperate. How am I supposed to feel bad for someone who still gets to go to Vail when my husband and I are probably not going to be able to afford a weekend in a hotel nearby for our tenth anniversary? Get a grip, whiny rich people.
10/04/09
10/05/09