Jezebel: Moms

Conventional Crap: Top Shelf Liquor, Chris Matthews & Madonna

Megan — Mon, 25 Aug 2008 10:00:00 EDT

I'm about the leave for the airport to help kick off the start of the Democratic National Convention tonight with various bashes, booze, and bonding with other bloggers. One of those bloggers already in Denver is Kay Steiger, who works at Campus Progress and will be blogging for Pushback and RH Reality Check while she's there. She's one of our rotating clan of conventioneering Crappyists for the next week, and she gets right into the Crappy spirit with a hangover, a discussion of Madonna's newest endorsement, what I could teach Chris Matthews and where Bill Kristol can stick his new-found feminism (hint: it's also a synonym for donkey).

KAY: Hi.

MEGAN: Good morning, sunshine!

KAY: Ugh. Last night I stumbled into an event where they kept giving us top-shelf liquor, not that I'm complaining.

MEGAN: I truly feel that the top shelf stuff makes the hangover far more bearable.

KAY: That's true, but there was a LOT of it. Especially since I've been on a beer and wine diet these days.

MEGAN: Just think how much worse your head would feel if you had been drinking rail liquor. Or, rather, don't right now, but consider it later... Anyway, how's Denver?

KAY: Right.
Oh you know. High altitude. I actually met some real-life PUMAs yesterday.

MEGAN: Really? I'm intrigued. What did they say? I saw them at the DNC protests in June and it was all I could do not to shake them and stuff.

KAY: I hate to use Mark Penn language, but they were totally national security moms. They thought Hillary Clinton's hawkishness was a good thing, while Obama would be "thinking about" what to do. Because apparently "thinking" is a bad thing.

MEGAN: Ugh, well, I guess we know who will be voting for McCain in the fall, then. No thinking, just bombing!

KAY: Right.

MEGAN: I'm sure in the midst of the whole thing, you missed the fact that Madonna kicked off her world tour this weekend. Or that she used the opportunity to compare John McCain to Hitler and Mugabe. Did I ever tell you how much I love Madonna?

KAY: I saw that this morning.

MEGAN: Video of the offensive video display is here. And what's even better is the shots of her are very Human Nature, which I love so much.

KAY: Weird, so Madonna isn't dormant anymore. She kinda dropped out of sight for a while.

MEGAN: Well, she and Guy Ritchie are supposedly on the outs! It's okay, you don't have to love Madonna as much as me. We can talk about how Chis Matthews says he didn't call Clinton a "she-devil" — he was saying Republicans did. That didn't work for E.D. Hill, buddy, but nice try.

KAY: I like Madonna I just always cringe when liberals use the Hitler references. It gives more moderate people an excuse to make fun. Bad as McCain is on issues, he doesn't appear to be plotting mass genocide. But I guess it's never too early to speculate...

MEGAN: Well, I mean, with McCain's video showing Germans chanting Obama's name over shots of Berlin, I think it's fair to say that McCain went there with the references first.

KAY: So true. The Hilter references are so tired, though. Anyway, I saw the thing about Matthews. I always love when people on television try to claim they didn't say something.

MEGAN: I prefer when the bluster and say they didn't say it, and then when they argue it was taken out of context. Like, just admit that you're an unthinking asshole, buy Hillary some apology flowers or something and commit to hosting a documentary on sexism in the media.

KAY: That seems like a reasonable response. I mean, when you've already had to make a public apology to someone, it seems that maybe it's time to just admit that you say stupid things.

MEGAN: I admit, I say stupid things! See, it's really not that hard!

KAY: Chris Matthews could learn so much from Megan Carpentier.

MEGAN: If nothing else, I'll bet I have better taste in cheap wine! Okay, one last think, can we discuss this new bullshit meme where Republicans like Bill Kristol and John McCain pretend they give a shit about the glass ceiling and sexism because they think we're dumb enough that if they pay lip service to it for 45 seconds we'll vote for them?

KAY: Ugh, this is ridiculous. I hate it when conservatives try to claim that they're more into affirmative action than liberals. Don't worry, though, they wouldn't want to promote policies that try to try to address gender equity or anything. I hear I just need more "training" and then discrimination will just disappear.

MEGAN: Oh, right! Silly me! If I were just smarter, and worked harder and were more aggressive, if I put off getting married and having children and just focused on my career, I'd totally be in the same position as a man my age would. If I weren't a blogger, that is. But, still. If all men were that much more aggressive than me, we wouldn't really have a civilization.

KAY: Right, but be careful with becoming a "career girl." You wouldn't want to become some kind of frigid bitch that never has children. That would be the worst thing in the world.

MEGAN: Right, if I never breed because I'm too aggressively pursuing my career and my "training" so that I can be equal with a man, no man will want to ever marry me or seed my uterus, and I will live a life of misery forever. Being a girl is so hard. Not as hard as getting up at 6:30 local time to do Crappy Hour with me after a night of drinking, though!

KAY: I get the feeling it's gonna be like this all week.

Anime Lenses Promise Wide-Eyed Look • Stay-At-Home Moms Hurt By Economy

Maria — Mon, 11 Aug 2008 17:30:00 EDT

Girls and boys who covet the extra-large eyes of anime characters can now fake it with "extra-wide" contacts that make the eye's iris look larger. • Getting a regular pap smear is more effective against cervical cancer than Gardasil as new studies begin to doubt the vaccine's effectiveness versus its expense. • A gender discrimination complaint filed by two men against a Swedish government-run pharmacy that sold sex toys catering mostly to women by selling dildos and "vagina balls" was overruled. • Should women tell their coworkers that they are menopausal? • A 93-year-old debut novelist will use the profits from her feminist thriller, A Dangerous Weakness to move her friends and herself out of care homes. •

• Heidi Krieger is a former East German athlete who was fed steroids without her knowledge which, she claims, forced her to have a sex-change operation to become a man. • Meanwhile, a new study suggests that estrogen patches may help men suffering from prostate cancer. • One Iranian blogger writes that having a female flag-bearer for the Iranian team at the Olympic Opening Ceremonies was a "defeating and decisive answer" to those who speak out against Iran's treatment of women and a "historical failure" for Zionist and American lobbies. • Many impoverished Vietnamese women in Tan Loc are selling themselves off as brides to wealthy(-ish) foreigners to help out their families back home. • There has been an increase of women being arrested and reprimanded by the police for committing violent acts and joining violent all-girl gangs in the UK. • A new study suggests that urban-living minority teen girls do not have a great deal of knowledge about the morning-after pill and think the users should feel embarrassed. • Being a stay-at-home mother can be incredibly stressful as the economy goes down the dumps. • A new study shows that most women stop breast-feeding after six months and those who continued to breast-feed past six months had greater education and income levels. • Jujhar Bus Service in India has recently appointed female bus conductors, a first in the Punjab region.

[Image via Shopping Times.]

Polish Baby Factory Is Open For Business • Date Rape Drugs May Be Banned In UK

Maria — Fri, 08 Aug 2008 17:30:00 EDT

A surrogate "baby factory" has opened in Poland where 37 young women are ready to give birth to babies for couples unable to conceive for roughly $22,000 a child. • An 84-year-old Nigerian man with 86 wives advises men against taking so many partners, but he was granted his power to "control" and "heal" women by God, so, you know, whatevs. • In the wake of the news that The Well of Loneliness is being reprinted for its 80th anniversary, one critic asks if there is still a need for the category of "lesbian literature." • Researchers have discovered that your natural body odor is determined by genetics, not simply your level of cleanliness.

• Check out the GoateeSaver, a device that one bites onto while shaving to create the perfect goatee every time. • Mothers are launching their own businesses in the UK after they become fed up with the lack of flexibility to spend time with their family in their old jobs. • Gamma-butyrolactone and 1,4 butanedoil may be banned in the UK where they convert into the date-rape drug GHB when ingested rapidly. • Working-age singles in Australia report having "low life satisfaction," and are only happier on average than marginalized groups like the unemployed and single parents. Is this another study trying to scare single people into getting married? • A new law may be forming in Kuwait that will require that all gyms become gender-segregated. • A 90 year-old woman had her biggest wish come true when a male staffer at her assisted living facility volunteered to serve her fish and chips in a thong. Some staffers complained that it wouldn't have happened if the genders had been reversed.

(Image via B12 Solipsism.)

Public Opinion Down On British Working Mums

Jessica — Wed, 06 Aug 2008 09:30:00 EDT

A new study out of the UK says: get back to the kitchen, betch! Well, it doesn't exactly say that, but the survey conducted by Cambridge University sociologists shows that the number of people who believe "family life would not suffer if a woman went to work" has dropped substantially since 1998. Back in those hazy Blair/Clinton years, 51% of women and 45.9% of men believe that family life would be okay if women worked, and a follow up in 2002 showed that only 46% of women and 42% of men were supportive of women working outside the home, the BBC reports.

But! There's a silver lining, as most Brits no longer believe that it's the man's job to work and the woman's job to raise wee ones — only 31.1% of women and 41.1% of men believe in this old-fashioned notion, down from 59.2% of women and 65.5% of men in 1984. "It is conceivable that opinions are shifting as the shine of the 'super-mum' syndrome wears off, and the idea of women juggling high-powered careers while also baking cookies and reading bedtime stories is increasingly seen to be unrealisable by ordinary mortals," says Cambridge sociologist Jacqueline Scott.

Really Jacqui?? Are we still pretending that this "super-mum" was ever anything but a fantasy meant to make women feel guilty if they weren't perfect? I've said it before here, and I'll say it again: parenting takes compromise, and children miss out if a father is never, ever home just as they suffer if a mother is never home. Every individual makes the choices he or she believes is best for their family — however — it does make me wonder why this shift has occurred. As it has been noted, there's been somewhat of a renewed backlash against feminism since the riot grrrl-friendly 90s, and certainly there has been a glorification of motherhood, with every celebrity baby bump receiving hysterical coverage on the internet and in magazines.

Speaking of the glorification of past ideals, there was an article in CNN yesterday about the "growing trend" of stay-at-home wives without children. First of all, the statistics they gave on this "trend" were vague at best, so I'm going to have to assume that it was manufactured by an editor who realized it was August and that he was going to have to come up with something to write about in this molasses-slow news month. Anyway, CNN dug up some boring-ass ladies who fill their days doing laundry, charity work, and "creative writing." Apparently, they are less stressed out than when they worked! Imagine that! Doing yoga all day and a few errands is less stressful than a full time job!

Anyway, I'm less irked by these women than by the attitude above that women working outside the home is harmful to children. There are many, many, different kinds of full time jobs, and it's terrifyingly reductive of people to think that working moms are anathema to healthy kidlets.

[Image via Harvard Gazette]

'Support For Working Mums Falls' [BBC]
No Kids, No Jobs For Growing Number Of Wives [CNN]

Strollerderby has brought our attention to ...

Maria — Fri, 01 Aug 2008 14:45:00 EDT

Strollerderby has brought our attention to Pregnant Paper Dolls, a book of paper dolls showing a mom moving through the various stages of pregnancy (skinny, heels-wearing non-Mom to rounder, hip New Mom) but laments that it isn't aspirational enough. It is too realistic, apparently (even down to the pregnant bride?) and that makes mommies sad because they want to believe that they will snap back to their normal body weight and cocktail dress-wearing lifestyle after they give birth to a child. Uh, wouldn't it be better to not give new moms unrealistic expectations, especially when dealing with gag-worthy gifts? [Strollerderby]

Loose Lips

Maria — Wed, 30 Jul 2008 11:40:00 EDT

Lauren Conrad was spotted "getting very cozy" and swapping tales of C-list level celebrité with Orange County actor Kyle Howard. So she went from dating actual OC losers to dating someone who played one for a movie? Upgrade! • You know you are really pushing the limits of a story when the moms start commenting to local newspapers: The mother of Isabel Lucas, the passenger in Shia LaBeouf's car accident this weekend, says her daughter would not get into a car with someone who is drinking. • Michelle Obama was star struck when she got to meet Bill Cosby. [Perez Hilton, TMZ, People]

Stage Mom Dina Lohan Gets Her Moment In The Spotlight

Slut Machine — Mon, 21 Jul 2008 18:00:00 EDT

It's hard to believe Dina Lohan's claims that this whole showbiz thing is all about her kids and what they want out of life, when she seems to behave to the contrary on Living Lohan. On last night's episode, Dina met with a potential choreographer for Ali, and somehow this meeting turned into Dina dancing with the choreographer and putting together a routine for the two of them to do together. Later in the episode, Cody "surprised" Dina by arranging an audience for her at the Pearl Theater in the Palms casino to perform in front of. She feigned anger and nerves for about 30 seconds before she began doing flips, splits and tossing her hair on stage. Clip above.

Some Career Paths Just Don't Work For Working Moms

Dodai — Tue, 15 Jul 2008 12:00:00 EDT

"Mothers who work and those who stay home often end up judging one another," writes Maya Dollarhide Lucca in a CNN article about working moms. Shocker. But this issue will not go away, and the two sides are each adamant that they are right. Dr. Scott Haltzman, a clinical psychiatrist and an assistant professor at Brown says: "It's very clear to me, from what I've seen in my clients, that children who are put in day care, not raised by their mothers at home, feel a real loss. They feel the absence of those parents and it affects how they want to parent their own children." But author/psychologist Debra Condren counters: "Each time the media reports an interview with yet another professional woman who has seen the light and taken time out for motherhood, everyone breathes a collective sigh of relief. Finally, this woman has figured out what's really important. But keeping yourself from your own ambitions, dreams and career goals can be soul destroying."

Yeah, same old issues. But a new study by UC Berkeley's Haas School of Business found that MBAs were more likely to drop out of the workforce than doctors or lawyers. Why?

It's not because of education: All of the 1,000 participants in the survey went to Harvard. It's not age: All were 37 years old and had at least one child. The difference was in the workplace. A third of the women with MBAs became stay-at-home moms; compared to 6% of MDs. Could it be that doctors often work in private practice and can make their own hours? Could it be that a business environment is not family-friendly? Would it help if there were more women in business, thereby forcing companies to become flexible or lose valuable employees? But why would more women go into business when clearly women in business have a tough time? It's a catch-22. (Would some sort of Title IX help?) I'm reminded of something I read recently, in which the author suggested that the reason the comments on this site are so witty and funny is because women are underutilized at their jobs. Maybe it's not just businesses — maybe the entire concept of a "workforce" needs to be overhauled?

Working Moms Look Back With Mixed Emotions [CNN]
More Women With MBAs Take Mommy-Track Than Doctors: Study [Reuters]

Earlier: Many Women Prefer Stay At Home Motherhood To Soulless Cubicle Dwelling

How Come All The Pop Culture Moms Are White These Days?

Dodai — Tue, 01 Jul 2008 14:30:00 EDT

Over on the Strollerderby blog, there's an interesting post regarding the lack of "momoirs" by black women. Apparently most of the books written by mothers — about being a mother, and the nature of motherhood in this day and age — are written by white women. Deesha Philyaw wrote an article on this topic, noting: "Low-income and working-class women, black women, and other women of color don't see their mothering experiences and concerns reflected in the mommy media machine, and we get the cultural message loud and clear: Affluent white women are the only mothers who really matter. Further, media overexposure of these women bolsters the perception of them as self-absorbed brewers of tempests in teapots." Even if you've never read a "momoir" or given birth, you've got to wonder: Where is this generation's Claire Huxtable?

Since pop culture often reflects the zeitgest at large, what does it mean if we don't have any amazing non-white mother figures right now? Growing up, Claire Huxtable from The Cosby Show, Florida Evans from Good Times, the mom on What's Happening!! (and, to some extent, Shirley, on the same show) were strong women who were not just maternal figures but actual moms, juggling jobs and raising kids. American dreams, American stories. And they were not white. At some point, many TV moms disappeared — shows like My Two Dads, Silver Spoons and Diff'rent Strokes pushed moms aside. But today, the only non-white mom I can think of is the one on Everybody Hates Chris. Moms today are "hot" (Desperate Housewives), young (Claire on Lost*, Niki on Heroes) or animated (Family Guy, Marge Simpson.) But they're rarely anything but Caucasian. We live in a diverse, culturally rich country. Is Dina Lohan all we have to offer?

Black Mothers Underrepresented in Momoir Genre [Strollerderby]
There's Something Missing from Mommy Lit [AlterNet]

Earlier: Who Are Your Fave Pop Culture Moms?

*Yeah, Sun on Lost doesn't really count as her role as a "mom" has not been fleshed out.

Dina Lohan Asks Ali What Liquid Is In Lindsay's Water Bottles

Slut Machine — Mon, 09 Jun 2008 11:30:00 EDT

Despite Dina Lohan's insistence that she "can't stop" Ali from trying to "chase her dream" of being a hip hop artist (it's OK, you can laugh at that part), or can't protect her from "evil" reporters, she invited Access Hollywood into her home to interview her 14-year-old child, even though the kid had nothing in particular to promote. Dina sat down with Ali to prep her for the interview and asked a series of questions about older sister Lindsay that, frankly, seemed kind of inappropriate. If Dina wants Ali to be "normal," it would seem to us that she could just make the kid go to school and not bother searching this shit out, and inviting it into her home.

Lohan's Fire Is Not In A Crotch But An Electrical Outlet

Slut Machine — Mon, 02 Jun 2008 14:00:00 EDT

Dina Lohan's reasons for wanting to do a reality show — to show the real Lohans, and dispel tabloid rumors about the family — always seemed really weird to me, because in most cases, reality TV participants tend to put off, not endear viewers to them. But mostly it's weird because last night's episode of Living Lohan — in which Dina went to a club in NYC (the same one where Samantha Ronson, her daughter's alleged girlfriend, DJ'd about a month ago) to celebrate making the cover of a magazine, while her children were at home with a babysitter, and the house caught on fire — just served to confirm the things that the tabloids have been saying about her all along.

And for those of us counting at home, the Lindsay mentions in this 22 minute episode came to a grand total of 11.

Next Up? Spa Treatments For Your Unborn Baby!

Jessica — Thu, 22 May 2008 12:00:00 EDT

Not only are tweens getting spa treatments — it's this brand new trend that no one can stop talking about! — but preschoolers are getting in on the action. 4-year-old Diamond was featured on this morning's episode of the Mike & Juliet Show. She's been getting spa treatments since she was two and boy, does she love it. It relaxes her, says her mother. (Because being a four-year-old is so taxing.) Her mother also wants Diamond to know that she's a princess "in my eyes and in God's eyes." Sigh. Clip above.

Earlier: If A Girl Gets A Spa Treatment And No One Films It, Did It Really Happen?
How Many 8-Year-Olds Have To Get Bikini Waxes Before We All Agree The Terrorists Have Won?

Dina & Ali Lohan Cop Attitude Over Suggestion That Reality TV Is The Wrong Move

Slut Machine — Wed, 21 May 2008 15:00:00 EDT

Dina and Ali Lohan have been doing the press rounds for their new reality show Living Lohan premiering this weekend, and last night they were on Showbiz Tonight. The two got all defensive and rude in response to very valid questions about how Dina will keep Ali away from the same path Lindsay traveled down and whether they are at all concerned about the "reality TV curse" that stars like Osbournes have suffered from. Dina said that Lindsay is on a "fine path" and that the reporter was just "believing what [he's] read." She also said that nothing like what happened to the Osbournes will ever happen to the Lohans because they are "different." Uh, how? They're both famous families with a genetic predisposition to addiction! Anyway, at the end of the interview, Ali was asked if Lindsay has given her any advice about the business. You can hear Dina say under her breath, "Watch reporters." Yeah, it's the reporters' fault, lady.

Living At Home In Your 20s Is Not Really Ideal For Anyone Involved

Jessica — Wed, 21 May 2008 12:30:00 EDT

Every year when a new crop of grads emerges from that beer-sticky collegiate womb, this article gets written — you know the one, about how more and more 20-somethings are living with their parents instead of living on their own. All of these articles, including the most recent ones from the Wall Street Journal and the AP, claim a demographic shift since the 60s, when only 10.9% of men aged 25-24 lived with their parents, compared with 14.3% today. The reasons given for the preponderance of "incomplete launches" are usually the rising costs of housing, wage stagnation, and the extended adolescence that is currently in societal vogue.

Most of these articles show photos of smiling parents and their equally elated offspring and feature talk of shared chores and renewed family ties. What they don't show you is the messy reality of living with your parents when you're an adult, and I know about it — because I lived with my parents for four months after I graduated from college.

I was getting my MFA in creative writing and felt guilty and weird about my rent being paid by my parents, compounded with a fear of living with a Craigslist stranger after a previous bad experience. So I moved back home while attending classes. Nowhere in these articles is there a discussion about the horror of calling your mom to let her know you won't be coming home on a Thursday night because you're "sleeping at Anna's house," when really you're staying with a boy who is not your boyfriend. It's doubly demoralizing, because you're simultaneously regressing (telling the lie) and attempting to negotiate an adult situation (having a sex life).* For me, the reality of this constant negotiation between the childish and adult selves was exhausting, and I moved out as quickly as I possibly could. And it wasn't all smiles for my parents either — living with an oft-surly 22-year-old isn't really a boon to the household.

These sorts of articles bother me because they often make it seem like children are freeloaders and the doting parents are enabling their slackerdom, but I think in most situations, children live with their parents out of necessity, not out of desire, because really, the joy of being an adult is getting to eat ice cream for dinner at 10pm and not having to call your mom to tell her you won't be sitting down for chicken with the fam before you do it.

* Mom, I swear I really was at Anna's.

Twentysomething, College-Educated And Moving Back In [AP via Washington Post]
When 20-Somethings Move
Back Home, It Isn't All Bad [WSJ]
They Can Go Home Again [NYT — 2006]
For More People in 20's and 30's, Home Is Where The Parents Are [NYT — 2003]

This Week We Loved Our Moms, Our Undies, Ourselves

Jessica — Fri, 09 May 2008 18:20:00 EDT

We agreed we would lie to our kids about our debauched pasts. There will be fewer than eighteen of them, trust.
You could do a lot of debaucherous damage with these crazy underoos from the International Male folks.
We didn't just talk about International Males, we discussed international and race relations, and vowed to try harder.
We also gave some real talk about sex writing.
More real talk: forgetting there's a tampon in your twat.

We got to know virgin-hoarding cult leader Michael Travesser and his band of wack jobs.
We got some LOLs out of douchefessionals John Fitzgerald Page and Paul Janka.
We said goodbye to our own Jennifer, who is departing for greener Polo pastures. She will be missed!
This weekend, pour one out for all the white wine drinking, on-the-toilet phone talking, track suit wearing mommas out there. Happy Mothers Day, moms; we love you!

Who Are Your Fave Pop Culture Moms?

Dodai — Fri, 09 May 2008 16:00:00 EDT

Time Magazine has a fun double-your-pleasure story about pop culture moms. The "Best Moms Ever" include Florida Evans from Good Times, Marge Simpson, Rusty Dennis (as played by Cher) in Mask and Dumbo's mom. On the "Worst Moms" list are MomCorp's Mom on Futurama, Livia Soprano, Medea, Margaret White from Carrie and of course, Joan Crawford as played by Faye Dunaway in Mommie Dearest. Now, her mothering skills may be questionable, but one of my favorite Moms is Edina Monsoon, because she is shamlessly shallow and revels in her self-centered insanity. I also like Mrs. Potts from Beauty And The Beast.

The other Jezebels unanimously voted for Lucille Bluth from Arrested Development. Elise Keaton from Family Ties got a vote, as did Angela's Mom from My So-called Life. (Poor Patti Chase!!!) No one voted for Mrs. Cunningham from Happy Days, but she has an interview on EW.com so there's that. Surely we're forgetting some memorable moms? Let us know!

Best & Worst Moms Ever [Time]

Just in time for Mother's Day, international ...

Jessica — Fri, 09 May 2008 15:30:00 EDT

Just in time for Mother's Day, international nonprofit Save The Children released its list of the best and worst countries to be a mom. The rankings are based on "mothers' and children's health, educational and economic status," according to a press release. Moms in Scandinavia are sitting pretty, with Sweden and Norway taking the number one and two spots. Moms down under also fare well, as New Zealand and Australia also made the top ten. Most of the countries in the bottom ten are in Sub-Saharan Africa, with Niger ranking as the worst place to be a mother. According to statistics from Save the Children, "1 child in 4 does not reach his or her fifth birthday in Afghanistan, Angola, Niger and Sierra Leone. In Sweden, only 1 child in 333 dies before age 5." [Save The Children via NPR]

Mom Saves The Day

maria — Fri, 09 May 2008 13:20:00 EDT

Here is a heroic story to start off the weekend: Louise Zoller, mom of two, was picking up her children from daycare when she walked in on a man with a gun who was searching for his estranged wife, a daycare worker. The children and the teacher were huddled together in a bathroom and instead of freaking out when the man began firing, Louise knocked the gun out of his hand and gave it to police. Unfortunately, the gunman mortally-wounded his ex-wife, who bought the pistol at a pawnshop after he got "frustrated" with their impending divorce. [Reader's Digest]

An Early Happy Mother's Day!

Slut Machine — Wed, 07 May 2008 18:00:00 EDT

John Roberts is the dude who created one of my favorite recurring YouTube skits: The Jersey/Long Island Mom. (Check out his other classics The Christmas Tree and The Phone Call.) Maybe it's just a regional thing, but many aspects of his "mom" character resemble those of my mom, her sisters, and other women I've grown up around (replete with glasses upon glasses of white wine, compulsive cleaning, a wardrobe of workout gear, and talking on the phone while on the toilet). Anyway, here's an early Happy Mother's Day to all those moms out there, including mine, whose tendencies, while mortifying when I was younger, are nothing short of hilarious now.

Mother's Day [YouTube]

17-year-old Xochitl Parra gave birth to a ...

Jessica — Mon, 05 May 2008 16:30:00 EDT

17-year-old Xochitl Parra gave birth to a baby boy at home, unbeknownst to her mother, and then walked four blocks to the hospital with the umbilical cord still attached. Parra is a sophomore at Long Beach Poly High in Long Beach, CA, and was afraid that her mother would disown her if she knew that Xochitl was up the stick. Good news all around though: Xochitl's baby, Alejandro, is a healthy little dude and her mom is going to help her care for him so that she can keep going to school. [CNN]

"Untouchable" Girl Thrown On Fire • Low Weight And Education-Levels Linked

maria — Wed, 30 Apr 2008 17:30:00 EDT

• A 6-year-old Indian girl was thrown into a fire by a man for being an untouchable. • People of Lesbos insulted by term 'lesbian', sue a gay rights group. • A 94-year old woman becomes Britain's oldest bride. • Sixty-nine percent of mothers ages 18 to 34 incur medical debt. • Afghanistan holds the world's highest maternal mortality rates. • Afghans also jail raped and abused women. • Another reason to switch to lipstick: lip gloss invites skin cancer. • Baby boomers complain that hearing loss puts strain on marriages. • Obesity prevention programs can reduce eating disorders as well as obesity. • Is there a link between a healthy weight and education? • Bare-bottomed prom invites get suspended. • Low birth-weight can lead to greater weight gain in adulthood. • 18th-century opera singers were the original celebrity bad-girls. • Breast-feeding is up: 3 in 4 moms breast-feed their infants.

Stay-At-Home Motherhood Will Make You Pine For Corporate Jargon, Crap Pay

Moe — Wed, 30 Apr 2008 16:30:00 EDT

Today's Wall Street Journal features a profile of something called mommy SWAT teams — teams of highly-skilled stay-at-home moms (Smart Women with Available Time) so stir-crazy and intellectually starved they hire themselves on the cheap to handle "crash projects" for companies. Don't read the story; it's so packed with jargon that my stay-at-home brain had troubles following it! (The genesis of the SWAT came about when a business school, seeking professionals to "role play challenging management scenarios" for a "simulation training" component of "Leadership "Class, discovered they could just use plain old housewives attained by "tapping into neighborhood networks", which I think means the same thing as "Everything I coughed up $150,000 for an MBA to learn I could have just found out from my mom, but you knew that anyway.") So anyway, let's cut to the chase: I can sympathize with the restlessness of stay-at-home moms, but isn't there something sad about this?

Namely, that highly-skilled mothers are so starved for an intellectual stimulation they'll sell their services for rock-bottom temp salaries, to large for-profit corporations like LendingTree, just to get out of the house? I mean, it does kind of undermine the whole notion that people sell out to Corporate America for the money. On the other hand, isn't that what these highly-skilled ex-fund managers and marketing executive moms were thinking when they sold out to Corporate America the first time around? Otherwise wouldn't they have just gone to work for nonprofits? And where are the nonprofits to hire these broads now?

How Stay-At-Home Moms Are Filling An Executive Niche [WSJ]

Over Half Of Female FLDS Teens In Texas Custody Have Been Pregnant

Jessica — Tue, 29 Apr 2008 09:30:00 EDT

Here we are, worried about the sexualization of 15-year-old Miley Cyrus, when 31 out of 53 girls from the ages of 14-17 from the Yearning For Zion ranch are pregnant or already have children. Although the polygamist Fundamentalist Latter Day Saints have been claiming that they do not marry off 13 and 14 year old girls to older men, the number of very young yet pregnant girls seems to refute these claims. What's more, there are 53 girls ages 14-17 who were taken from the ranch, while only 17 boys in that age group were living with the sect. (The gender divisions in children under 14 were about 50/50.) This gives credence to the tales of "lost boys" of the FDLS: adolescent males who were exiled from the sect to keep the gender imbalance favorable for polygamous unions.

FDLS brass of course, deny that any sexual abuse has occurred. Church spokesman Rod Parker thinks that the Texas Child Protective Services is underestimating the ages of the pregnant girls. Parker told the AP, "I do have serious questions about how they are determining age in there."

Each of the 463 minors taken from the YFZ ranch by the state of Texas is supposed to have an individual hearing by June 5 in order to determine if they should be put into foster care. Civil Liberties groups are arguing alongside that FDLS that the initial accusations of abuse only focused on teen girls, yet the state of Texas took every child, no matter age or gender. But couldn't it be argued that a culture that condones — however tacitly — the abuse of teenage girls is no culture for any child to be raised in?

Most Teen Girls From Ranch Have Been Pregnant [AP via MSNBC]
CPS: Half of Sect's Teen Girls Have Been Pregnant [AP via CNN]

Earlier: Authorities Take 400 More Kids From Polygamist Sect In Texas
Texas Officials Keep Teen Moms From Polygamist Sect In State Custody

This Week We Learned About Hookers, Muumuus And Moms.

Jessica — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 18:20:00 EDT

If this whole Jezebel thing doesn't work out, we now know how to become an internet "escort."
Lilly Ledbetter is a stand-up lady. Maybe someday women will get equal pay for equal work, but not today.
But look! Babies and puppies!
We became certified Tina Feynatics.
We talked about moms! You can't live with them, can't shed their DNA.

Spitzer? I don't even know 'er!
We were not that into the Sex and the City-branded lingerie. Shudder.
The Real Housewives of New York City reunion was possibly the best 60 minutes of television we've ever seen. Thank GOD it's been picked up for a second season! We can't wait to hang with Ramoarawn again.
So throw on that muumuu, and remember: VD is for Everybody.

Texas Officials Keep Teen Moms From Polygamist Sect In State Custody

Jessica — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 09:30:00 EDT

The number of Fundamentalist Latter Day Saints in Texas custody has now reached 460, following the state's decision yesterday that 25 mothers under the age of 18 should not be returned to the FDLS compound, Yearning For Zion. As previously reported, Texas officials raided the YFZ ranch after a tip — allegedly from a 16-year-old inside the compound named Sarah Jessop Barlow — regarding widespread child abuse. Although Sarah has yet to be located (and some believe that "Sarah" is really Rozita Swinton, a pathological liar with an FDLS obsession), Reuters reports that "Texas welfare and law enforcement officials say they have uncovered evidence of widespread child abuse on the grounds, with adolescent girls being forced into unions with much older men." Mothers over the age of 18 were sent home yesterday from the temporary shelter where their children are being held.

A spokesman for Child Protective Services tells Reuters that separating mothers and children is "difficult thing.... But these children must be protected." Over one hundred of the FDLS children have already been placed in foster homes, according to the AP, and the rest will be taken to foster homes and group residences in the next few days. The Texas appeals court is still hearing arguments about whether mothers should be allowed to visit their children while abuse allegations are being investigated, and for now, CPS is trying to keep the FDLS children separate from the greater foster care population as the kids have little or no experience with modern society. Another Child Protective Services spokesperson, Shari Pulliam, tells the AP, "We recognize it's critical that these children not be exposed to mainstream culture too quickly or other things that would hinder their success. We just want to protect them from abuse and neglect. We're not trying to change them."

The extent of the abuse may become more clear once DNA tests of the children and mothers are completed. Scientists believe they will be able to confirm or deny accusations of incest and statutory rape that have been leveled at the sect.

More Teenage Mothers Emerge In Texas Polygamy Probe [Reuters]
Texas Officials Believe 25 Sect Moms Under 18 [AP via MSNBC]
How DNA Tests Reveal Polygamist Sex Practices [MSNBC]

Earlier: Polygamists Avoid Giving Answers On Today
Despite Doubters, Texas Will Keep Polygamist Children In State Custody
Authorities Take 400 More Kids From Polygamist Sect In Texas

Which One Of The Five Types Of Moms Do You Have?

Dodai — Thu, 24 Apr 2008 14:00:00 EDT

Are you ready for a moment of Freud? We're going to talk about your mother. You love her, obviously. But sometimes she drives you crazy, embarrasses you or says something so insane you question whether you're related to her at all. Maybe sometimes you hate her. But, according a new book by clinical psychologist Stephan B. Poulter, your bond with your mother has a huge impact on your life and your unconscious and totally influences how you form adult relationships. You're thinking, well, just like we're all different people, there are many different kinds of mothers, right? Wrong! According to Dr. Poulter, there are only five types of mothers:

The Perfectionist Mother — whose family must look perfect in every way
The Unpredictable Mother- whose ups and downs can create lifelong anxiety and depression in her son or daughter
The "Me First" Mother — whose children come second or last
The "Best Friend" Mother — who's now in vogue but can wreak havoc
The Complete Mother- who provides guidance and shows compassion to her child

I love my mom! But she was — and is — rather unpredictable. Now I'm on Celexa, haha. Kidding! But she was also a "best friend" type who didn't care if I went to CBGB the summer I was 15 as long as I didn't talk to any sailors in town for Fleet Week "because they've been at sea a long time." She also provided plenty of guidance and compassion. So are there really five styles of mothering? Maybe. But my list would be more like this:

The Clueless Mom — who really believes you were "studying" when you come home with grass on your back and doesn't know what that pretty glass vase in your room is really for
The Alarmist Mom — who thinks the desks at school might be made with carcinogenic materials and wonders if your moles are "growing" and assumes you're dead if you don't call exactly at 11p.m.
The Mean Mom — who grounds you first, asks questions later. Hates your boyfriends, tells you you're going nowhere fast. New friends come over once and never again. Capable of withering plants with a single gaze.
The Old-Country Mom — who was born elsewhere and uses you as an interpreter, ambassador and errand-runner. Understands more English than she lets on but pretends not to. Just wants you to marry a nice boy.
The Stage Mom — who pushes you into fame but hates being left behind; wants to share (or steal) the spotlight. See: Lohan, Dina; Rocky.

Did we miss any? Are there more types of moms? And which do you have?

How Your Mother's Emotional Legacy Impacts Your Life [EurekAlert]

Earlier: Being A "Cool" Mom Isn't Very Good For The Kids

Being A "Cool" Mom Isn't Very Good For The Kids

Jessica — Mon, 14 Apr 2008 14:40:00 EDT

Newsflash to moms and the future moms of America: your kids are going to think you're lame. If you listen to Elton John, they will find that humiliating; if you try to listen to Rihanna or whatever hovercraft riding band is hip in 2023 to be a "cool" mom, that will be doubly humiliating and exponentially lamer. According to clinical psychologist Stephan Poulter, more and more mothers are attempting to wear Juicy sweatsuits and rock out to Pink — Poulter believes that 30-40% of modern mothers want to be their child's best friend. Mom-as-BFF is a recipe for disaster, says Poulter in his new book, The Mother Factor: How Your Mother's Emotional Legacy Impacts Your Life. "One tragic one is Lindsay Lohan. Her mother is out drinking with her," Poulter explains to Reuters. "Now she's been in and out of rehab and arrested twice. What kind of role model is she getting? Look at Paris Hilton too. Same story."

Chris Rock's mother, Rose, who raised 17 children in total (10 of her own, 7 foster kids) also just released a book called Mama Rock's Rules: Ten Lessons for Raising a Houseful of Successful Children, agrees that being your child's friend is a huge mistake. "It is a new thing that everyone wants their children to like them but parenting is not a popularity contest...I don't need to be a 12-year-old's friend but I do need to be their protector, guide and warden. This is just a cop out."

I'm always sort of icked out by my friends who shared sex talk with their moms — like really? Your mom needs to know about your inability to orgasm? Mostly it's gross because then it leaves the door open for your mom to tell you about her sex life. Is there ever a situation in which a mother can be her child's best friend in a non-destructive way? Or does it all turn into a Dina Lohan-grade mess?

If Your Mom's Your Best Friend, Who's Your Mother? [Reuters]

Stage Mom Has Violent, Psychotic Outburst

Slut Machine — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 17:00:00 EDT

Rocky and Hayley were by far the best team on I Know My Kid's A Star, even though Hayley had no particular talent other than being beautiful. Rocky's borderline psychotic outbursts, however, plus her mysterious weave, mocking of other children, and misanthropic nature were both entertaining and, at times, endearing. Sadly, on last night's episode, Rocky and Haley's ride came to an end. But they'll both be okay, because, like Rocky's daughter Hayley says in the clip above, "I don't care if I die, I just want to be rich and famous."

Study: Childhood Obesity Has Stronger Link To Nurture, Not Nature

Jessica — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 09:30:00 EDT

A group of British scientists is reporting that overweight moms are not genetically "programming their children to be fat". The University of Bristol's Debbie Lawlor and her team wanted to see if the high levels of sugar and fatty acids in the blood of overweight women caused higher levels of those substances in the blood of their offspring, thereby predisposing their fetuses to "poor appetite control and a slower metabolism." Lawlor found that genetic link to be tenuous, though the children of overweight parents are still more likely to tip the scales. There is a "fat mass and obesity associated" gene called FTO, but it is unclear how this gene works in concert with outside dietary forces. The only conclusive result of the study seems to be that the effect of maternal Body Mass Index is more of an indicator of childhood obesity than the effect of paternal BMI. (Yeah, mom is always to blame.)

Lawlor's evidence implies that diet and exercise are the major factors in the childhood obesity epidemic, which is probably why maternal BMI has more of an effect than paternal BMI. Mothers are still the parents who tend to grocery shop and plan meals, so it's no surprise that overweight children are consuming the same unhealthy foods that their mothers do. "Our study indicates that developmental overnutrition has not been a major driver of the recent obesity epidemic," Lawlor concludes. "Therefore, interventions that aim to improve people's diet and to increase their physical activity levels could slow or even halt the [obesity] epidemic."

Are Fat Moms To Blame For Fat Kids? Answer Unclear [Reuters]
Maternal Obesity Not Strongly Linked To Obesity In Offspring Says Study [EurekAlert]

ANTM: Anorexic Model Is Unbeweavably Racist

Slut Machine — Thu, 06 Mar 2008 11:00:00 EST

It wasn't so shocking to find out on last night's Top Model that Allison has body image issues and once struggled with anorexia. It was shocking, though, to find out that she is pretty racist. For example, saying, "You take it in the back because you're black" to Fatima was totally ridiculous. (Especially because Fatima probably takes it in the back because the front is sewn up. Awww snap! Sorry, that was mean.) More after the jump!

Personally, I thought the makeovers this cycle were some of the worst yet. A couple of the girls came out looking great, but in some instances, it was really cruel. Here are the culprits:

And how could I resist this:

When I saw Stacey Ann's hair, all I could think about was Bill Murray's secretary in Scrooged.

And I don't know what Anya could be compared to, exactly, but whatever it is, it's sensitive to the sun, so it creeps around at night and probably collects the souls of little children.

But she did have an awesome photo.

OK, can we just talk about Dominique's confidence for a minute?

She knows this is a modeling competition, right?

She looks like a soccer mom on the sidelines rooting for her kid:

Here's another example of Tyra's cruelty:

Bitch had the airbrushers spend all the time on her.

The Real Housewives Of NYC: Raising Their Children By Example

Slut Machine — Wed, 05 Mar 2008 13:00:00 EST

Much like the fruit that symbolizes each locale, The Real Housewives of New York City and The Real Housewives of Orange County are apples and oranges — there's really no comparison. Maybe it's that in New York society there's so much more emphasis placed on culture and education, or maybe it's just that it takes much more wealth to live in NYC than California, but the women on Bravo's newest reality series are in a very different game than their West Coast counterparts, making the show much more than watching overly-tanned blondes in prefab mansions. But there's one thing that's the same no matter your location or financial status: When you're 12 years old, you find your mom embarrassing. For me, it was when my mom would call the homes of parties I was attending to make sure adults would be home. For Ramona's daughter Avery, it's when her mom kisses her onetime Playboy model friend on the lips. Clip above.

Every week, the NPR program Tell Me More ...

Jessica — Tue, 04 Mar 2008 15:40:00 EST

Every week, the NPR program Tell Me More features parenting commentary from the women behind Mocha Moms, a national network of stay-at-home mothers of color. This week, the ladies are discussing the Girl Scouts with the first African-American president of the organization, Dr. Gloria Randall Scott. Scott took the helm at the Girl Scouts in 1975, and all the women present keep coming back to a singular theme when discussing the scouts: Leadership. No wonder Hillary Clinton was once a Scout! And don't forget, folks: it's cookie season, but only until March 29th! Get your Samoas while you still can. [NPR]

Do Single Women Work More Than Moms With Jobs?

Dodai — Fri, 22 Feb 2008 13:00:00 EST

A new study by the UK's Trades Union Congress has found that if you're a single woman in your 30s, you're putting in way more unpaid overtime than men — or working mothers. Nearly 40% work additional hours, compared with 26% of single men the same age, reports Guardian. The TUC general secretary, Brendan Barber, says: "Women who want to get on at work need to put in longer hours than anyone else, but as soon as they have children they no longer have that option. It is hardly surprising that the senior levels of most organizations are male and that the gender pay gap stubbornly persists." But, point out women's activists, the system itself is unfair. "Women are being presented with impossible choices between caring for a family or maximizing career opportunities in a workplace that measures performance by the number of hours put in," says Kat Banyard, of the Fawcett Society (an organization dedicated to closing the inequality gap between men and women). Meanwhile, something known as "maternal profiling" is on the rise.

Some companies discriminate against women who have, or will have, children. Kiki Peppard, a 53-year-old switchboard operator, tells Guardian she was rejected from 19 job interviews in a row because she was a single mother. And research backs her up: A recent US shows that mothers are 79% less likely to be hired than non-mothers with equal employment experience. But some women feel like when working moms need to take care of their motherhood duties, their office duties get dumped on those without children.

In Marie Claire's "Cubicle Coach" column, a reader writes, "I get that juggling parenting responsibilities and work is tough, but I shouldn't have to pick up the slack for my overextended colleagues, should I?" The Cubicle Coach claims that "Those with kids use the workday more efficiently than most." I ever so respectfully call bullshit! I have definitely worked with slacker moms and hardworking singles (as well as slacker singles and hardworking moms). But usually, everyone is working hard and stretched too thin. If you're single, don't employers assume you can work more, because, what else are you doing? But if you work and have kids — basically two full-time jobs — isn't it only right that you take advantage of any chance to make your flesh and blood a priority?

Single Women's Overtime Burden,
Mothers Need Not Apply [Guardian]
Why Do Working Moms Get the Perks? [Marie Claire]

Earlier: Are Childless Women Hostile To Working Moms?

Stressorexia is the latest "disease" to hit ...

mcarpentier — Mon, 04 Feb 2008 17:45:00 EST

Stressorexia is the latest "disease" to hit overextended, British supermoms, who often have difficulty balancing the needs of having a big career, being a primary-caregiver and staying thin. They reportedly start by skipping a meal here and there, which then spirals out of control. It's not a "scientific" diagnosis, says psychiatrist Dr. Adrian Lord, but "anecdotally its symptoms are very prevalent among women." Its cure, naturally, is therapy and eating regular meals, which is just another must-do today's stressorexics will get to add to their foodless but full plates. [Daily Mail]

Some Women Make Choices Their Peers (And Parents) Just Don't Understand

dodai — Mon, 14 Jan 2008 11:00:00 EST

We all do stuff our moms and dads just don't understand. (Princess Diana's mother called her a whore for "messing around with effing Muslim men.") But how different is your life from the one your parents imagined for you? For American women who have married Saudis, things are tough, reports Jeffrey Fleishman of the Los Angeles Times. Lori Baker met her husband at Ohio State University in 1982. They fell in love, she converted to Islam, they have two sons. But she's sacrificed family and friends. "My mother and father were just devastated at my conversion," she says. Her husband's family wasn't thrilled he was marrying an American, but just wanted him to come home after living in the States for years. "The feeling was, 'If you have to bring her with you, go ahead,'" Ms. Baker explains. But, she adds, "My husband is the man of my dreams, and I decided to go wherever that took us." She and other American wives are always fully covered in public. "When I first got here, I felt naked without my head scarf," Ms. Baker says. Now she feels comfortable in her abaya: "Nobody knows me. They can't see me, and if you're covered, they respect you. Sometimes without a covered face it's like walking down Main Street wearing a bikini."

Meanwhile, in the US, women who are the daughters of immigrants also make choices their parents just can't understand, according to an article in Newsweek. Katherine Chon's family arrived in New Hampshire from South Korea when Ms. Chon was 2 months old. Ms. Chon was premed at Brown when she decided to form the Polaris Project, now one of the largest anti-human-trafficking organizations in the country. "It was really hard for my parents," says Katherine, now 27. "They gave up a life in Korea; they were working 80 to 90 hours a week, and had so many life stresses so their children could get a great education and have a comfortable life."

Do children have a responsibility to fulfill the dreams of their parents? What if the parents risked their lives or made huge sacrifices to make sure the child had opportunities not afforded to the older generation? Or is your life yours, to do with as you please, no matter what your parents expect or had to go through?

Consider Irshad Manji, who was raised in Canada after her parents emigrated from Uganda during Idi Amin's crackdown on South Asians. Her mother is a devout, mosque-going Muslim. Ms. Manji is an openly gay broadcast journalist who wrote a book called The Trouble With Islam. "There are so many people who don't talk to me [because of the book]," Ms. Manji's mother, Mumtaz says. "But who cares? My daughter comes first."

Pursuing Happiness Behind The Veil [LA Times]
The New Generation Gap [Newsweek]

Researchers say that if new moms want to ...

dodai — Mon, 19 Nov 2007 18:45:00 EST

Researchers say that if new moms want to lose baby weight, they should get some sleep. A study found that getting enough shut-eye may be as important as a healthy diet and exercise. "Mothers who slept five hours or less when their babies were six months old were three times more likely than rested mothers to have kept on the extra weight at one year," reports MSNBC. Uh, but surely new mothers aren't sleeping five hours a night because they want to. We're fairly sure that they know they need more sleep, and not just for weight-loss reasons. It's how to get more rest they need help with. Back to the drawing board, scientists! [MSNBC]

Military Moms Forced To Choose Between Serving Their Country & Saving Their Kids

Dodai — Tue, 23 Oct 2007 14:30:00 EDT

Being a mother is complicated — but it's a complete mess when you throw armed forces and ex-husbands into the mix. ABC News has a story today about military moms who face battles both in war — and in the custody of their children. Molly Moriarty, who is in the Navy, went to Kuwait in December 2005. Within three weeks, her ex-husband had filed for custody and received a court order to take her 9 and 11-year-old sons. Apparently, there are over a hundred thousand single parents in the active and reserve military. Before a deployment, personnel are required to work out temporary parenting arrangements with an ex-spouse or family member. But often, that person ends up goes to court trying to change the agreement — or get full custody — and the military parent isn't around to fight the order. Military moms and dads are left feeling as if their deployments count against them in court. "You should not have to be in downtown Baghdad worrying about your children," says Moriarty.

The Department of Defense agrees, and has stated that "Any service member who is deployed and experiences family problems back home is subject to psychological stress that could decrease effectiveness on the job and undermine military readiness." But family court judges have to make a decision based on what's right for the children. "Just because you have an agreement that says you get to get a child back it may not be the best thing for the child," says Judge Susan Carbon, president of the National Council of Juvenile and Family Court Judges. In Molly Moriarty's case, the Navy allowed her to fly home and fight the court order. But the legislation varies from state to state and some moms aren't so lucky: Spc. Lisa Hayes (pictured) was serving with the Navy in Iraq when she was compelled to go AWOL in order to return home and fight for custody of her 7-year-old daughter. (She refused to return to duty.) As for Ms. Moriarty, she got her kids back after enlisting the help of the Red Cross and several attorneys. "People think, Oh, you're a bad mom," she says. "You abandoned your kids because you wanted to go and play GI Jane. It was horrible. I signed up and took an oath of honor, loyalty and commitment. I wasn't going to dishonor my country by quitting. But then I would think, Oh my poor kids." She adds, "Going to Baghdad doesn't scare me. What scares me is if their dad is going to try this again."

GI Jane: Kids Or Country? [ABC News]

Are Childless Women Hostile To Working Moms?

Dodai — Wed, 19 Sep 2007 15:30:00 EDT

It's almost like a Aniston vs. Angelina tabloid story: Researchers are reporting that women who do not have children are considerably less sympathetic than men to mothers trying to juggle home and career. Ben Black, founder of a UK child-care company, commissioned something called "The Working Mothers' Report" and found that 52% of the 15,000 moms polled said it was easier to blame traffic or the alarm clock than admit child-care problems had made them late. Also, between maternity leave and flexible schedules, moms felt that women without children perceived them as enemies "to be left behind on the corporate ladder."

On the UK feminist blog The F Word, Louise Livesey responds: "The report admonish(es) women for behaving like, well like ambitious men..." Of the 52% of moms who would rather blame the alarm clock than their kids, she says:"We generally have to explain lateness to bosses and bosses tend to be men... this isn't a woman-woman problem but that workplaces are not accommodating to parenting at all."

It's hard to know how to feel about all this. Women should be supporting women, obviously. But as a childless woman who worked with — and for — women with children, I often felt jealous of colleagues/bosses who would leave work to go pick up kids or attend dance recitals. Sometimes I felt like I was being punished for not reproducing, because while mom was out of the office delivering cupcakes, guess who was picking up the slack? But it's a "damned if you do, damned if you don't" situation — working moms who don't go to school plays and class birthday parties can feel punished for reproducing, or worse — heartlessly ambitious and neglectful (are dads ever scrutinized so closely?).

The one thing in the story that did resonate with me however, was this quote:

The report paints a picture of women undermining and undercutting each other, vying for advancement and sometimes filled with resentment.

Livesey from The F Word writes, "Why (oh why, oh why) is it that it's women being compared to women here?" But we know exactly why: Because we're all guilty of what Tina Fey, in Mean Girls, called "girl on girl crime". In some ways, the world is the same it was in 4th grade: Catty, sneaky, full of judgments, gloating over microvictories and contests of one-upmanship.

Childless Women 'Hostile To Working Mums' [Telegraph]
Women Blamed For Being Ambitious [The F Word]

Mary Jane: More Of A Guy's Kind Of Girl

amparry — Wed, 22 Aug 2007 16:30:00 EDT

Is smoking weed a guy thing? Charlize Theron and her homemade apple bong beg to differ! While we can think of plenty of female stoners we know personally, we're not too big on the ganj ourselves. The munchies are a brutal affront to bikini season. [The Stranger]
Breast density and high levels of circulating sex hormones have largely gone hand in hand as risk factors for breast cancer, however a new study shows that they are independent risk factors as well. Of course they are. God forbid we actually get some good news about our tits. [NY Times]
Seriously, can we please shut the fuck up about all this girls love the color pink nonsense and spend our super experimentation funds on something useful, like finding out why men like to leave nasty wet towels on the bed? Thanks. Also, we like orange. [Guardian]
The UN has released an extremely disturbing report about sexual crimes against women in Darfur, mostly committed by soldiers and government militia. Everyone should read it. Yes, that means you. [NEWS.com.au]

Kids with incarcerated moms can go to summer camp at the clink so that mom can prove she's still is a good role model, even after busting a cap in someone's ass. Great news for Foxy Brown! [NY Times]
Iranian-American academic Haleh Esfandiari was finally released from an Iranian jail yesterday, but has not been given permission to leave the country. What's kind of odd is that Ms. Edfandiari's elderly mother, who lives off her dead husband's pension, put up the $300,000+ bail money, rather than Edfandiari's own husband. WTF? [NY Times]
A woman in Russia, who was cohabitating with her ex-husband — a common practice in the country because of insane housing prices — set fire to his penis as he sat naked on the couch watching TV and drinking vodka. OMG, is it bad that we kind of sort of giggled? [Reuters]
Washington Post reporter Carl Bernstein sums up Hillary Clinton's political life over the last 40 years — biggest (not-so-much-a) shocker? Bill's been foolin' around on her since before they were married. [AlterNet]
Republican Mitt Romney has been spewing some rather covert anti-birth control rhetoric to his most right wing supporters. Okay, so if birth control is bad because it stops the egg and the sperm from meeting, isn't jerking off in the shower every morning a bunch of little abortions, you stupid prick? [Baltimore Sun]
Congratulations, Plan B, on Your First Anniversary! Sure wish we could have met that one day last summer, when we forgot our ID at home and the pharmacist told us you weren't available unless we could prove that our old face was indeed over 18. [Salon]
This is cool: the newly formed Afghan Midwives Association recruits and trains midwives to help combat the country's high maternal mortality rate. Poor women caring for other poor women, now that's feminism. [Our Bodies Our Blog]