Jezebel 
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New York, 1:22 PM
Thu Nov 26
64 posts in the last 24 hours
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01/24/09
01/23/09
01/23/09
01/22/09
Mostly, I'm just a mom in need of a vacation.
01/22/09
01/22/09
In my case, the advise would have been "Oh, you don't smoke? Well then go get drunk in the bathroom and cry away your tears for a bit!" Jebus!
This woman is a monster of a mother for going public with her family's names and photos. I think that qualifies as significant emotional abuse, so I can't imagine what poor Catherine's daily life as been like all these years (the image of her holding up her little baby arms to be cuddled by a mom who will not hold her, even when advised by Grandma - that made me cry).
I think its quite apparent that PPD coupled with being young/not ready for motherhood and in a broken relationship (plus who knows what other issues this mother has experienced...) would lead to all sorts of feelings of detachment and compound feelings of depression. But her f'ing narcissism, which again, I find to be intentionally cruel, is absolutely unforgivable.
And this is coming from a bi-polar (currently depressed) mother who has recently questioned if having a second child wasn't a "mistake". However, I try and try to make the effort to love my kids equally. I hope I'm doing a good enough job. The guilt is immense...
Of course, there are also good times, when I can easily say that I don't have a favorite child. Right now is not one of them.
But none of you know who I am. None of you know my kids. What we look like or our names. And I would never announce these shameful feelings if I thought my kids could track down the info. These are a horrible feelings and I feel more sorry for my family than myself.
However, I think I am an ok (and often fantastic) mother. My husband is an exemplary dad and partner. This woman and her bizarre need for fame are another story (I think and hope. I promise you all the guilt is immense - and it amazes me how much I want to express my guilt).
01/22/09
My PPD was turned in on myself, not my child. Luckily for me, I knew what was happening (family history) and was able to get help. My son (and husband) do have to deal with my depression issues, and the last six weeks coming off my meds has been brutal for all. However, my love for son has never wavered (husband is a different issue) - while I sometimes make him cry with my outbursts, I always make sure to let him know that I love him and I'm sorry. I know that doesn't make up for it, and I feel like shit, and sometimes I just leave the house to keep from facing him and/or being mean.
It sucks like nothing else - just make sure they know your love is there. Sometimes it hides and runs, but it's there.
01/22/09
On a secondary note, I'm a bit fed up of Jezebel labelling people 'fame-whores', attention seekers and in need of therapy.
01/22/09
01/22/09
01/22/09
Courageous? Seriously.
01/22/09
01/22/09
01/22/09
01/22/09
I'm 46 years old, and this still affects me. And it has EVERYTHING to do with this little girl. But good for you, not having to grow up like her. I've been there. I know.
01/22/09
01/22/09
:I look at her little face and know I've hurt her. I do care deeply for Catherine, but I have just never felt the same bond with her.
'I wish I could say she was a little brat, but I can't. She's a lovely, intelligent girl and has never done anything to justify the way I feel about her"
"Catherine hasn't done anything wrong and I have told her that"
"I think the bond has strengthened since I had Poppy because I feel more human again."
"I've made more of an effort to talk to Catherine, which I've never done in the past...I am determined to build on this, so I can make up for all the years we have lost."
"Every night I go into Catherine's room while she is sleeping and look at her. She looks so sweet and I feel terrible about what I've done to her."
Yeah, exactly none of these statements sound like "hatred" to me. I read the article and, while I think it was pretty odd and awful that the mother didn't do this anonymously, it seems like she is legitimately trying to be a good mother and work on what sound like deep ceded emotional problems.
Between this and the empty nester article from earlier, I'm getting the vibe that guarded ambivalence is the safest way to talk about your child.
01/22/09
01/22/09
01/22/09
01/22/09
Would we all be so horrified and infuriated if it was her father that didn't love her?
01/22/09
01/22/09
Catherine knows very well, and in every cell of her being, that her mother doesn't love her. She knows it every day of her life, every moment, every time her mother turns her back to her to pick up her darling baby sister. It is pointed out to her every time she is refused a laudatory aside, or a hand is not extended to her, every time she cries and no one is there to hug her.
This woman is a delusional, self-involved, horrendous being. While it is not required that you love your child, it is required of human decency that you treat that child with respect, something this "mother" has not an ounce of.
01/22/09
Very strange also to be reading this today, since I am newly pregnant with my second child (my son is almost 7) and have been very anxious lately about the classic "how can I love someone as much as I love my son" question (I love him so much it does actually hurt at times!!!). It has been the main topic of discussion with my therapist and my friends in the past two weeks...
It is a "second family" (my son's dad and I have been separated for 4 years, and BF and I together for 3, he's an overwhelmingly kind and loving man, but we have our issues, like any other couple, I guess), but the fact is I have no real reason to feel so scared about this. It's just a haunting and terrible prospect. I would feel so tremendously broken-hearted if I felt I couldn't love my second child. I mean, to me it's like committing murder. It is like rape. It is, basically, unforgivable. My BF's mother treated him very badly, and that pain just doesn't go away, does it?
After reading this article, I don't if I should be reassured to be so appalled, or if I'm even more scared of having it happen to me... Goddamn it.
01/22/09
I love my son more than life, but I wish I had been given another chance to have a child. You are indeed a lucky woman to have been given another child to love! I'm so happy for you!
It probably doesn't help, but almost every mom I know with more than one child felt the same way that you are right now - you've already proven your capacity to love more than one person; your first son, your son's dad, your new child's father, your family....
And yes, some hurts never leave; I'm 46 years old, and still feel the loneliness of my childhood.
01/22/09
01/22/09
01/22/09
01/22/09
Blecchhh.
01/22/09
01/22/09
I think DM is betting on a lot of outraged 25-50 married female buyers with this headline.
01/22/09
Generally the Mail makes up its showbiz and sports stuff rather than actual features
01/22/09
01/22/09
01/22/09
01/22/09
What amazes me is, after 8 years of being completely unable to love her child, she chose to have ANOTHER child. WTF??