I work at a public library, the lint trap of humanity.I see a lot of really sad, pathetic cases like this. We're the bar that can't send them home when they've had too many books to drink. When people's lives are like this, it's always more complicated than "just get a job" or "just apply for a service."
Have you guys seen Grey Gardens? That's just the tip of the ice berg. Families grow together like ivy, tangled and dependent and choking each other half to death. They're negative and drowning and miserable for any social worker to try to help because all their problems are a nest of complications and history.
Nothing ever seems to get better for these people because they're addicted to the chaos and subsistance living. I don't know how they get this way, but I know that there's a way you can get so far off the normal track of life that normal doesn't even seem attractive anymore. #homelessness
:( They can come to Indiana where housing is cheaper and get a place to live. Yeah, the winter suck, but they won't be homeless. That's horrible that she doesn't make enough on SS to live on. She's 92! She should be able to relax, not worry, etc. #homelessness
She must have had some terrible family history. It's no wonder that she and her 2 sons want to stay together as a family unit at this point. #homelessness
I'm not comfortable with the questioning as to why she isn't in contact with her other 6 children. She could be the world's biggest bitch, but she's worked and paid tax and she, like all old people, deserves to live out her days in a safe secure environment, regardless of her personality or how her life worked out.
(That said, the article is pretty badly written.) #homelessness
@gherkinfiend: I think the fact that "Why don't her kids care for her?" is the first question people ask, is a symptom of America's tendency to favour individualism over more collective ideals. In a more socialist country, the idea that someone who has worked all their days and had an honest life should have a safety net if their original plans go awry, or luck is against them, is a no-brainer. Often in the American MSM, the public discourse over people like the Bergers is framed in terms of their personal "mistakes", as if everyone who works hard will always come out on top, and if you didn't, well, I guess you didn't work hard enough, or squandered what you had. If "socialism" is a dirty word to (hypothetical) you, then hearing someone "deserves to live out her days in a safe secure environment, regardless of her personality or how her life worked out." is going to get your hackles up. #homelessness
@kung fu lola: It's entirly likey she's very mentally ill and is beyond all help. The other children may have had to separate ties for their own safety and security. #homelessness
The elderly should not have to depend on adult children to take care of them in their old age. It is only right that they do (if they didn't grow up abused/neglected/whatever), but a person should not have to procreate in order to somehow guarantee that they will not become destitute when they're old and helpless. #homelessness
@SarahMC: I agree wholeheartedly. My wife's parents are both retired, and they spend money faster than anyone I've ever seen. It makes me very nervous, because they say things like "we took care of you (my wife and her brother) so that later you could take care of us."
@SarahMC: Thank you. This is something I struggle with. I've had to support my father in some way or another since I was still in college. I feel it's the right thing to do for him, but I hate think about what it would be like for him if he had no children. #homelessness
@SarahMC: Also, elderly people depending on their children for care is basically what social services looked like in the middle ages. And it was not a good situation. Elderly people were the most miserably poor, generally lived on handouts from the church and begging door to door, and if something went wrong in the village and there was an elderly woman living alone, she was likely to have been accused of being responsible for it because she's a witch, and then maybe getting burned alive at the stake.
Government run social services like this are imperative if we want to continue to think of ourselves as "more advanced" than the 14th century. #homelessness
I deal with this a lot in my work in low income housing. The lists for subsidized housing can be years long, especially if you don't have a homeless priority. Unfortunately for a lot of places, "homeless" does not equal living out of your car or on a friends couch. You are only officially homeless if you stay at a shelter and can prove it. And most shelters don't let families with adult children stay together, especially if they aren't of the same gender. If the family isn't willing to split up, it limits opportunities.
I for one, do not pay taxes so we can vaporize children in different countries because they live near possible terrorists. I pay taxes because I want a government to provide us with decent roads, educational systems, enough "big sticks" to deter whackadoos and a safety net for my brothers and sisters so that I don't feel responsible when I see a 97 year-old woman living in the front seat of a car.
This is reprehensible in this country - and if our representatives cannot do a better job then we need to make sure they don't represent us. Ever. #homelessness
@sybann: In order to change this type of shit from continuing from happening, we need to completely reform our electoral system. Poor people don't have lobby power. Sadly, that's really what it all comes down to. #homelessness
@WashingMyHair: It's part of the problem (lobby power) but the other part is just as frustrating: for the most part, the poorest people in America are the people most likely to elect leaders who do NOT have their economic interests in mind. #homelessness
I was sad reading this through, and I am still, but that's tempered by the quote under the picture above: "Among the items on the dashboard: lottery tickets."
I'm not going to go off about the lottery, but in a situation like this, these people really don't need to be spending their money on lotto tickets. Frustration-making. #homelessness
@AndPreciousLittleofThat: At the same time, once you get so behind that saving up any decent-sized sum is pretty much impossible, spending a dollar or two on the lotto is really not going to make a difference, and sometimes seems like all you can do #homelessness
@AndPreciousLittleofThat: my dad calls the lottery 'stupid people tax' since the odds of winning are so poor.
on the other hand, it probably gives them a little bit of hope, in otherwise miserable lives, that something could turn it all around for them. #homelessness
And Percy, I'd actually like to push back on your argument just a bit. Skipping the lottery may save a minimum amount of money, but the psychological value of HAVING that money is huge compared to the fleeting happiness that comes with scratching off lotto tickets.
I'm a big believer in patterns and cycles of behavior, and buying lotto tickets when you don't have a house is, to my mind, a real self-destructive behavior. #homelessness
@AndPreciousLittleofThat: No person is perfect. That being said, it's better to have a problem with the lottery ticket system than it is the poor people that purchase them. #homelessness
@AndPreciousLittleofThat: "the psychological value of HAVING that money is huge compared to the fleeting happiness that comes with scratching off lotto tickets."
I don't think that is true. If you don't have a place to live, there is almost nothing in the world that will make you feel secure. An extra few dollars a week won't do the trick. Imagine that "house money" comes in a different form than all other currency. Imagine that you are a millionaire in "street cash", but you have zero "house cash", and have no way of getting any. That's the psychological factor that is working on the Bergers. I know, because I have been there. I was almost homeless and I was still buying food and phone cards, because when I was in the hole for $700, it might as well have been a million. I was going to scrounge whatever quality I could from my life. #homelessness
As for not being in contact with her kids... There might be something in their mutual past; I have friends who have cut off contact with their parents because their parents were really egregiously and unredeemably horrible individuals.
Also, sometimes people are assholes. My mom and dad both work at an inpatient mental hospital and it's truly depressing how many older patients they have whose families don't even call to see how they're doing, much less send cards or visit. #homelessness
@wtfox?!: Tell that to all the people who had kids because they need someone to care for them when they're old. I think if you have that attitude you sort of deserve what's coming to you, heh. #homelessness
In reference to the question about her other kids- I worked with homebound elderly in my first internship- it was amazing how many people get blown off by their kids. Families are complicated. This family is keeping the mom out of senior housing because they want to be together- not a judgement, its just a fact that she could be in a housing program, but her sons aren't eligible. Painful choices. #homelessness
@hollygirl: and I hate being a cynical bitch, but... I've worked with homebound elderly too and sometimes the family wants them at home to keep getting their benefits. You would not believe the lengths I've seen some children go to to keep a Social Security check coming in or to keep hold of a rent controlled apartment. It may well be more complicated and less icky here - they may need all their resources pooled to get by and the sons can't exist without their mom's income.
In any event, the fact that this happens in this country is nauseating. #homelessness
@boobookitteh: Totally agree. We often struggle to place people appropriately once the family finds out the beloved check will go to the facility, no longer to the family. I've had people try to cash dead relatives checks... in terms of what happens in this country vs. others...the whole freedom to make ( bad) choices is a factor. #homelessness
Wait a second, if she's eligible for section 8 without her sons, why not just take the voucher and let them live there anyway? People do that all the time #homelessness
I'm also curious as to what happened with the voucher that was being given to her. My guess is, as with a lot of applicants for the Section 8 program, she was probably hard to get ahold of (homelessness and hospitalization will do that)...and after one of the typical "if you don't show for your appointment and we don't hear from you" letters, they gave it to someone else, and threw her back to the end of the (oftentimes years long) waiting list. Frustrating. #homelessness
10/16/09
Have you guys seen Grey Gardens? That's just the tip of the ice berg. Families grow together like ivy, tangled and dependent and choking each other half to death. They're negative and drowning and miserable for any social worker to try to help because all their problems are a nest of complications and history.
Nothing ever seems to get better for these people because they're addicted to the chaos and subsistance living. I don't know how they get this way, but I know that there's a way you can get so far off the normal track of life that normal doesn't even seem attractive anymore. #homelessness
10/16/09
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(That said, the article is pretty badly written.) #homelessness
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NO. Make a PLAN. Then stick to it. #homelessness
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10/16/09
Government run social services like this are imperative if we want to continue to think of ourselves as "more advanced" than the 14th century. #homelessness
10/16/09
10/16/09
The whole system kinda sucks. #homelessness
10/16/09
This is reprehensible in this country - and if our representatives cannot do a better job then we need to make sure they don't represent us. Ever. #homelessness
10/16/09
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10/16/09
I'm not going to go off about the lottery, but in a situation like this, these people really don't need to be spending their money on lotto tickets. Frustration-making. #homelessness
10/16/09
10/16/09
on the other hand, it probably gives them a little bit of hope, in otherwise miserable lives, that something could turn it all around for them. #homelessness
10/16/09
And Percy, I'd actually like to push back on your argument just a bit. Skipping the lottery may save a minimum amount of money, but the psychological value of HAVING that money is huge compared to the fleeting happiness that comes with scratching off lotto tickets.
I'm a big believer in patterns and cycles of behavior, and buying lotto tickets when you don't have a house is, to my mind, a real self-destructive behavior. #homelessness
10/16/09
10/16/09
I don't think that is true. If you don't have a place to live, there is almost nothing in the world that will make you feel secure. An extra few dollars a week won't do the trick. Imagine that "house money" comes in a different form than all other currency. Imagine that you are a millionaire in "street cash", but you have zero "house cash", and have no way of getting any. That's the psychological factor that is working on the Bergers. I know, because I have been there. I was almost homeless and I was still buying food and phone cards, because when I was in the hole for $700, it might as well have been a million. I was going to scrounge whatever quality I could from my life. #homelessness
10/16/09
10/16/09
Also, sometimes people are assholes. My mom and dad both work at an inpatient mental hospital and it's truly depressing how many older patients they have whose families don't even call to see how they're doing, much less send cards or visit. #homelessness
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10/16/09
Damn. Just... damn. #homelessness
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10/16/09
In any event, the fact that this happens in this country is nauseating. #homelessness
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