Over on ShowBiz 411, Roger Friedman is perplexed by why Mo'Nique would refuse to get with the Oscar program:

She's been nominated for several best supporting actress awards, but talk show host and comedian Mo'Nique doesn't care or doesn't get it. [...]

In the past, a few actors have missed awards shows. But they were all well established or lived outside the U.S. [...]

Nothing seems to get through, which is odd because Mo'Nique seems like a bright person. But snubbing the NYFCC is a plan she should reconsider. She makes a point in that clip: she made the movie, you see her performance, what else can she do? This is a bit naive, but true fundamentally. But maybe she doesn't understand that she's already won this award. This isn't the same as doing publicity.

What's next? The Golden Globes? The Oscars? If these things don't mean anything to her, there are plenty of actresses who will appreciate the honors, from Julianne Moore to Anna Kendrick to Vera Farmiga. Mo'Nique: fame is fleeting. Enjoy all this while you can!

But the answer is pretty clear. Mo'Nique has already stated why she's not tripping over an Oscar:

Let's read between the lines a bit here. Mo'Nique asks two Oscar nominated people (Terrance Howard and Taraji P. Henson), who have been through the process, what the net financial benefit was and they couldn't really answer her with anything but "exposure."

In addition, all three participants in the conversation talk about "your audience" versus the academy. Mo'Nique has a very specific audience - one that is predominantly African American, and predominantly female. Mo'Nique is very well represented in black media, and occasionally makes forays into the mainstream. But the implication of people like Friedman is that she needs to look at crafting a "real" career - that all this niche work with the African American community isn't worth as much as the potential promise of the Oscars. Taraji explains that "we" have our fans, but the Academy (and most award shows that are not dedicated to specific communities) may not have that same type of representation. But, all that depends on whether or not Mo'Nique wants a different type of career. After all, the one she has looks pretty good from where I sit - a late night talk show, successful franchises, and the freedom to be unapologetically herself isn't a terrible lot in life.

Finally, considering the relatively dismal record of African Americans in competition for the Oscars (not to mention the Academy's stranger decisions, like giving Denzel Washington the nod for the forgettable Training Day, rather than just about any of the other roles he portrayed), well...maybe Mo'Nique is better off not getting too invested in all the hoopla.

In the meantime, Steve Pond over at The Wrap is rolling his eyes at the whole situation, noting that much of it appears to be sour grapes on behalf of the New York Film Critics awards - another venue Mo'Nique has decided to skip. Pond opines that far from being self-sabotage, Mo'Nique might actually have the right strategy:

My two cents:

1) For the most part, the Academy won't care. Snubbing film critics isn't an actionable offense; in fact, it's something that most AMPAS voters have probably wanted to do many times over the years.

2) Besides which, many members of the Academy won't mind if she snubs every other awards show and critics group in existence. In fact, that Academy would love it if she refused to attend all the others. They know she'll be at the Oscar show – let's face it, pride and Oprah won't let her miss that one. And if that's the only show she attends, it'll just make the Oscars seem that more special, and reinforce that it's the only awards show that really counts.

Is she "ruining her Oscar hopes?" Hell, if this is the worst she can do, I think she might be improving them.

Mo'Nique Speaks: What Does The Oscar Mean Financially? [Showbiz 411]
List of black Academy Award winners and nominees [Wikipedia]
Good Morning, Oscar: All-Mo'Nique Edition [The Wrap]

Earlier: "What Does This Mean Financially?": Mo'Nique Is Not Pressed Over An Oscar

• Courtney Love threatened to sue Perez Hilton for publishing her messages about Frances Bean Cobain, yet she posted about her daughter again today saying, "im angry at these people not Frances id just prefer she not become Jaimie L Spears."

• Courtney wrote on Facebook this afternoon: "theres not a whole lot i can do about it. this is like a hand grenade got thrown into our lives and its not Frances! i am angry at these people not Frances id just prefer she not become Jaimie L Spears, she should go be a writer or an a...rtist wich i support 100% but this is a circus and it pains me cos i know she hates it." She added, "i very much miss my daighter, i know she knows how miserable i am im despairing and so sad, so so sad, but i just want to help her be happy, thats it, get her house and get her school and thats all ive ever wanted." [TMZ]
• Courtney Love says Perez Hilton defamed her by posting the two earlier Facebook messages about Frances Bean Cobain and the Cobain family and now she's getting her lawyer involved. In another Facebook message posted today Love writes: "perez you know what YOUR lawyer saud? to a client? "if shed just give in and sell rest for 15 million all of this would dissapear like magic" tell him to suck i oh by the way you lying queen youve just lied and defamed me and my child for the last time i fuckign HATE YOU you fat ass piece of bully shit PART of that was from a personal lettr and PART of that YOU made up, and thats ILLEGAL." [BlackBook Mag]
• The arbitrator has made his decision on how the Gosselins' assets should be divided up. His decision is confidential, but sources say now that the money has been split a divorce decree is "imminent." [TMZ]
• A source says Kate Gosselin "couldn't be happier" with how their assets were divided. "Kate is thrilled." [Radar Online]
• Kate Hudson and A-Rod actually broke up weeks ago, according to insiders. "Kate decided to take her mom to some of the press stuff and premieres as her date – that was good for her," says the source. "They both have kids and totally different lives ... They may not be done working it out though." [People]
• Tiger Woods' lady friends Jamie Jungers and Jaimee Grubbs ran into each other at a club in L.A. earlier this week. Grubbs told Jungers to stay away from her because she "hasn't talked to Tiger since the scandal broke, and she's done with it," said a source. "She wants to be disassociated from the whole thing. She just wants to do her own thing." So that's why she sold her story to the tabloids instead of just "doing her own thing" on Tool Acadamy? [E!]
• Tiger Woods' 14th named mistress Theresa Rogers heard the rumors that Tiger paid Rachel Uchitel millions to keep quiet and now she wants a payoff too. [Radar Online]
• Did you hear that Elin Nordegren would be appearing in ads for Puma? Well, it isn't true. A spokesman for the company says, "To correct recent news headlines, Puma has no plans to engage in a brand sponsorshop agreement with Elin Woods." [Extra]
• Sources say that next week Elin Nordegren is meeting with a divorce attorney who has worked with Nicole Kidman, Nicolas Cage and Britney Spears. [Radar Online]
• Just six months after opening his Mirimichi golf course near Memphis, Justin Timberlake is closing it from January to July to make improvements. [AP]
• Sophia Coppola and her boyfriend Thomas Mars are expecting their second child. [People]
• Garth Brooks is suing his hometown hospital in Yukon, Oklahoma because he donated $500,000 for a building to be named after his late mother four years ago, but the building never materialized. [CNN]
• There are rumors that Alexa Chung quit her MTV show because she is suffering from an eating disorder, but her rep insists, "She is absolutely exhausted. She's been working 16-hour days on four live shows a week. She didn't want to do that any more. It's been absolutely grueling and she hasn't had time to explore New York." The rep added, "Everybody's body looks different depending on what you wear. It's very easy to find a picture with bones sticking out. Alexa's weight hasn't changed for four years and she takes her role as a style icon and someone young girls look up to very seriously." [News Of The World]
• Jesse McCartney dumped Hayden Panettiere and is hooking up with his ex-girlfriend Katie Cassidy. [E!]
• BBC Radio DJ Chris Evans apologized to listeners for George Michael swearing during an interview. This article doesn't say what George Michael said. [The Mirror]
• During an interview CNN's Wolf Blitzer asked Shakira, '"She Wolf.' I have a personal interest in the name. How did you come up with that name?" She replied, "I bet you do. Well you were part of the reason." [Press Release]
• Usher's ex-wife Tameka Raymond said, "While I am flattered at the rumor circulating about being considered to join the cast of The Real Housewives of Atlanta, I am absolutely not joining the cast. I was initially approached by the producers for last season and declined. At this point, my priorities are focusing on being a mom and my philanthropy, Lost Ones Foundation." [E!]
• Mo'Nique says she heard that she was nominated for a Golden Globe "In the bathroom with my husband having a conversation, just laughing and joking and he gets a text from one of the producers of ‘The Mo'Nique Show,' saying ‘Congratulations, on the Golden Globe nomination.' I just started laughing. I said, O.K.!... our bathroom is I guess, you know how people have their favorite room? It just happens to be our bathroom. That's normally where we get all our news!" [NYT]
• John Krasinski says of working with Meryl Streep in It's Complicated, "It was my first day, and it was our first big scene together. As Zoe (Kazan, as Streep's middle child) is driving away, I put my arm around Meryl, and I say, 'They grow up so fast.' I was slowly trying not to feel so awkward, but every single one of my fingers knew I was touching Meryl Streep." [USA Today]
• Emily Blunt says of Queen Victoria, who she plays in The Young Victoria, "I only knew the image of her as the grizzled old woman, to read about this spicy, spunky girl who said no to the world, it was really exciting and revealing to read her diaries and her letters. She was a modern girl, refusing to conform. And I loved that. She had this incredibly oppressive, lonely childhood, and yet she had the steeliness to rise above it all and become a success." [USA Today]
• Keira Knightley, who is making her debut on London's West End on Friday says, "(I know I will be) burned alive (by the critics). I'm not coming into it with any great expectations of coming away with great reviews. I thought if I don't do theatre right now, I think I'm going to start being too terrified to do it. So I just thought, okay, dive in and give it a go. If my best isn't good enough, then so be it." [Daily Express]
• Miss Piggy has some very un-P.C. views on female domestic abusers. She says: "My Kermie is nothing like [Tiger Woods]. I just want to say, he would never do anything untoward moi, but, if he did, you can rest assured there'd be a hole in one, and he'd be the one!"[People]
• Daniel Day Lewis said watching Nine at the New York premiere "was nerve-wracking." He added, "That's the one and only time I will do that." [Showbiz 411]
• When asked if she'll appear in Ghostbusters 3, Sigourney Weaver said, "I might do it; I didn't realize I was in it. So I'm going to read the script. I was happy to discover, though, that my little baby son [from Ghostbusters 2] has grown up and become a ghostbuster. I think that Ivan [Reitman] wants our little grouplet together. I think it's a lovely idea to have another generation of people discover the characters. I remember I was opening the door for some trick-or-treaters last Halloween and a bunch of ghostbusters came to door. And one woman was [my character, Dana Barrett], and because I was at a friend's house, it was a complete accident. Might as well feed them a new movie." [WSJ]
• "I don't really desire things. I prefer to spend my money on experiences, on meals or travel. I look at the world through a green lens now, but you can't make yourself crazy. That feeling of green guilt can be really inhibiting," says Rachel McAdams. "It's about a changing mind-set, remembering to turn off the water when you are brushing your teeth." [Daily Express]

In the Best Director category, Bigelow is up against heavyweights like Clint Eastwood (Invictus) and Quentin Tarantino (Inglourious Basterds), relative newbie Jason Reitman (Up In The Air) — and her own ex-husband, James Cameron (Avatar). According to Women & Hollywood's Melissa Silverstein, whose take we asked for this morning, Bigelow is the fourth woman to be nominated in the category (Barbra Streisand was nominated twice and won once, and Jane Campion and Sofia Coppola each once). She would be the first woman to win. She would be the second woman to win, after Barbra Streisand for Yentl.

In the actress categories, it was a good year for women over forty: double nominations for Meryl Streep and Sandra Bullock, including for The Proposal and It's Complicated. (Clearly, the Hollywood Foreign Press Association doesn't agree with Manohla Dargis about the current state of romantic comedies.) Silverstein points out that Marion Cotillard is the only woman under forty in the best actress in a comedy or musical category, up against Meryl Streep (twice), Julia Roberts, and Sandra Bullock.

Nancy Meyers' heavily promoted It's Complicated, which doesn't go into wide release until December 25, was also recognized for its screenplay, making Ms. Meyers the sole woman in the category. In the best picture category, she'll go head-to-head with Nora Ephron, to whom she's often compared.

In the television nominations, Glee led with four nominations, but cable, unsurprisingly, ruled overall. More surprising: January Jones nominated for best actress in a television drama, and Courteney Cox for Cougar Town. Silverstein points out that made-for-television movies are often fertile ground for representations of women, and this year proved it: it included a film about Georgia O'Keeffe as well as Little Dorrit and Grey Gardens, and lots of strong roles for actresses like Joan Allen and Sigourney Weaver.

On a less happy note, Jane Campion's Bright Star was shut out entirely, despite critical kudos for Abbie Cornish and Campion's screenplay.

The awards will be held on January 17. The full list is here. Below, Justin Timberlake's early morning sex joke.

HFPA's 2010 Golden Globes Nominations [Deadline Hollywood Daily]

• Lindsay Lohan has returned from India!

While there, she visited the Sanlaap women's and children's shelter outside Calcutta. She spent about 3 hours with people there, and watched dance performances by the children. With her was a four-person camera crew from the BBC, and, at one point, Lindsay wore a bindi. Of course. [People]

• If you have $300, you can buy a "Marc Jacob" bag from LohanHouse.com, where Lindsay and her family are selling gently used clothes, shoes, hats, bags, and "collectables." [Page Six, Lohan House]
• Chris Brown is pissed that stores are not carrying his new CD, Graffiti. He wrote on his Twitter: "im tired of this shit. major stores r blackballing my cd. not stockin the shelves and lying to costumers. what the fuck do i gotta do... WTF... yeah i said it and i aint retracting shit. im not biting my tongue about shit else... the industry can kiss my ass." He said of a Walmart in Connecticut: "They didn't even have my album in the back… not on shelves, saw for myself. the manager told me that when there are new releases its mandatory to put em on the shelves.. BUT NO SIGN OF GRAFFITI." [MSNBC Scoop, Twitter, Page Six, Gatecrasher]
• Lily Allen may have smoked a cigarette during a concert last week; and if the Liverpool City Council can prove she was smoking, she and the venue could be fined. The council is asking "witnesse" to rat Lily out. [BBC News]
• Jude Law and Sienna Miller: "In love" and moving in together in the new year. As you may recall, their romance began on the set of Alfie; then Jude cheated on her with his children's nanny. Forgive but not forget? [The Sun]
• Playgirl has turned down alleged nude photos of Tiger Woods — apparently taken by Tiger himself. The magazine's spokesperson Daniel Nardicio says: "They were impossible to 100 percent verify, hence the unwillingness to go there." [People]
• Tiger Woods' wife, Elin Nordegren, is not in Sweden, despite some reports. She is in the guest house, which, while large, is not another country. [TMZ]
• Consulting firm Accenture is the first corporate sponsor to officially drop Tiger Woods. [NY Post]
• Tiger Woods' wife will reportedly dump him after Christmas and is talking to a divorce lawyer. As for Tiger, he is seeing a therapist. Allegedly. [Radar Online]
• This report claims that Elin Nordegren wants a trial separation. but that Tiger Woods wants to take a cruise on his yacht with her and convince her to stay with him and have another baby. (?1?!) [NY Post]
• Here, Cori Rist, who hooked up with Tiger Woods, is called a "spectacular escort." [Rush & Molloy]
• According to this report: Tiger Woods and Rachel Uchitel are both in Palm Beach, Florida. But he's on his yacht; she's with her family. [TMZ]
• "Tiger Woods Cheated As Dad Died. Star Bedded Jamie Jungers As Father Lay Dying In Hospital." [Radar Online]
• Gerald Posner reports that Tiger Woods had a "separate team handle his trysts," and that Rachel Uchitel could be getting $5 million to stay quiet. [The Daily Beast]
• A source says Uma Thurman's ex-fiancé was too controlling: "It seemed like he always wanted to run the show… He wanted to bring in his own chef and his own security. He'd talk about redesigning her house in the city and knocking down buildings at her place upstate." [Rush & Molloy]
• Russell Brand was seen spotted shopping for diamonds at Cartier, fueling speculation he's going to ask Katy Perry to marry him. [Daily Mail]
• Is Prince William a "shadow King"? [NY Daily News]
• Jay-Z is well-loved by his Rocawear employees, whose Christmas gift to him was a video spoof of his hit single, "Empire State of Mind." [Page Six]
• Behold: Lady Gaga and Cyndi Lauper in the 2010 MAC Viva Glam ad campaign, shot by Ellen von Unwerth. [The Life Files]
• Susan Boyle says he life hasn't changed that much: "I have everything I had before – it's just a little more interesting now." She hasn't really splurged on too much: She bought "a red couch and some cushions." And, she says: "To anyone who has a dream I say follow that dream. You are never too old. It is never too late. And dreams can become a reality." [People]
• What do we think of Carey Hart's Day-of-the-Dead-style tattoo of Pink? [The Life Files]
• Guy Ritchie is thinking of opening a branch of his London pub, the Punch Bowl, in New York. [Daily Express]
• Sad face: Grizz from 30 Rock is suffering from severe hypertension and has to be on a dialysis machine three times a week. He's on the waiting list for a kidney transplant, but need to lose 75 pounds before he's considered a viable candidate. And the wait is 5 years. He talks about all this on Dr. Oz's show on Tuesday. [NY Daily News]
• The Los Angeles Film Critics Association and the Boston Society of Film Critics agree: Mo'Nique's performance in Precious and Kathryn Bigelow's The Hurt Locker were some of the best moments in film this year. [People]
• Lots of Kerry Washington's favorite places in New York are food-related. [NY Post]
• Candy Spelling, a panelist on E!'s new series, Bank of Hollywood — produced by Ryan Seacrest — says: "I don't have to work. I'm not putting up my own money! We all contributed our salaries, but I wasn't going to pay [the contestants] to be on TV… I love giving of my time and money — I'm very charitable and sit on three nonprofit boards and two city boards as commissioner — but… then I would just be donating money and leaving it up to the contestants as to how it's spent. We all felt a strong responsibility about how they would spend the money." Yeah, I don't know either, but it sounds snotty. [NY Post]
• Sarah Ferguson, ex-Duchess Of York, says she's going to start a historical novel, starring an aristocratic redhead and set in the eighteenth century, "sort of like Pride and Prejudice meets 24. It's actually me putting myself in the eighteenth century… I can just imagine how it would be, and I have such fun!" [New York Magazine]
• Groan: Spencer Pratt now owns a music company, King Spencer Music. Be afraid. [TMZ]
• Entourage's Kevin Connolly says he thinks Rex Lee didn't really mean it when he said he was made fun of on the set because of his ethnicity and sexuality. Pardon? [TMZ]
• At the link, an obituary for Natasha Richardson by Ralph Fiennes. [Guardian]
• Add Kid Rock and Dave Grohl to the list of musicians suing bars for playing unlicensed music. [TMZ]
• LOL: 21-year-old Ekaterina Ivanova is calling ex-boyfriend, 65-year-old Rolling Stone Ronnie Wood, an "evil goblin." [Telegraph]
• CSI Miami's Jonathan Togo was arrested Friday for allegedly getting violent in a fight with his girlfriend; he was booked for felony domestic violence. [TMZ]
• A year after being rejected on TV, Bachelor contestant Melissa Rycroft got married. But not to a guy from TV. [Us Magazine]
• "Garth Brooks & Trisha Yearwood Celebrate Anniversary at McDonald's." [People]
• The Princess And The Frog was number one at the box office with a modest $25 million. [MSNBC Scoop]
• Bentley Meeker is a celebrity lighting guru and you are not. [Page Six]
• "I don't want to talk about him, except that I like him… I think everyone needs an adventure buddy." — Holly Madison on Benji Madden. [People]
• "Whenever anybody say they are going to give me some kind of award, I'm always a little stupefied by the notion. The first thing I say is 'why?' I just go to work like anyone else, except my job happens to be a little stranger." — Johnny Depp, when receiving a career achievement award at the Bahamas International Film Festival. [AP]
• "It makes certain cities impossible to live in. Like Sydney, it makes it impossible for us to live there… We certainly don't get that treatment in Tennessee. But it goes with the territory. It's just, we have to be careful, just to maintain some sort of semblance of a normal life for our child." — Nicole Kidman says attention from photographers is the reason she won't live in Sydney. [News.com.au]
• "I don't have a personal vendetta against Nicole Kidman… These are Machiavellian games that are being played and they are just not right. If she doesn't want to be photographed she should change her profession and become a butcher." — Paparazzo Jamie Fawcett, whom Nicole Kidman has requested a restraining order against and also took to court for placing a listening bug outside her home and following her in his car. [News.com.au]
• "Breaking up the band was a mistake because I think it broke trust with the audience. You had an audience that was very invested in that idea - whether they were invested in the people or the idea or the songs, I don't know. Like a relationship that you break off from and then try to pick back up, it's never quite the same. It doesn't mean it can't be as good, but it has to be different. That beautiful original feeling got lost in the interim of being away. If we had said, 'We just went away for seven years,' it would have been similar, but somehow breaking up, there's a violence to it." — Billy Corgan, on the Smashing Pumpkins. [WENN via Spinner]
• "If I didn't act, I'd be a nutcase. Some people have to do it. They have a lot of emotion they have to get out." — Rachel Weisz, who's in The Lovely Bones. [News.com.au]
• "My body is falling apart. The only way that I could do it is if I played a character who gets shot in the left leg and the right shoulder in the opening scene." — Kenny Rogers says he is too "decrepit" to be in Christmas In Canaan, the movie based on the book he wrote. [Daily Express]
• "Sometimes when I watch the show back I think we've gone too far because I see the pre-story beforehand, I can then see the audition from their perspective and there are times where I think I could have handled that better or I was in a bad mood and I was too rude. At the same time... no-one is sort of dragged kicking and screaming onto the audition set." — Simon Cowell. [BBC News]
• "A journalist went up to my  husband once and said 'did you know that dating anyone more than three years younger than you is considered pedophilia?' [Peter shot back] 'Really? My wife is seven years younger.'" — Maggie Gyllenhaal. [Gatecrasher]
• "Angry African-American women, you know, thought that it would be the image that people would associate with them. Virginiaca is definitely art imitating life, but I understand where they're coming from, and I don't have to project that onto mainstream America. What's funny is funny. This place is well known for getting angry letters — Lorne keeps 50 of them outside his office. It keeps you grounded in the fact that in late-night comedy, you're going to have to burn somebody." — Kenan Thompson. [New York Magazine]
• "I say 'Be Italian' many times in the song, but it was important to me that every time I say it, it have a different meaning, because there are so many different things about being Italian. There's love of life and food and sex and drink. There's love of dancing, love of singing. So it was putting all that into it." — Fergie, on her song in Nine. [NY Post]
• "The negative stuff is crazy and the positive stuff is crazy… I actually see all the discussion and controversy and, you know, 'Is it Smurfs and Dances With Wolves in space?' and all this crap, as good. It fuels interest. All those people that go online and repeatedly dismiss the movie day after day, I know they're going to be there watching it." — James Cameron on Avatar. [NY Post]
• "I think every little girl should be able to feel themselves the princess. I think every little girl is worthy of having a princely young man, and vice versa. It's really thrilling that Zahara will never have a moment where she didn't see herself in that light. She's Ethiopian. She comes from kings and queens. She should certainly know herself as a princess." — The Princess And The Frog's Anika Noni Rose, responding to Angelina Jolie's claim that she's ecstatic that daughter Zahara has a role model. [Ok!]
• "I'm working out again. I'm going to make the sequel to 300. My pecs will be glistening. I'll have a codpiece. I'm going to blow your mind." — Alec Baldwin. [Rush & Molloy]

• Victoria Beckham put away her Hermes bags and Louboutins and wore shredded jeans and combat boots as she joined son Brooklyn and spent 2 days with impoverished children in Kentucky.

At the link, you can see pix of Posh hanging with schoolkids. Brooklyn is one of Save The Children's youngest celebrity advocates. Posh says: "What I saw in Clay Country was the hope and promise inherent in every child. That's why we have to make sure every single child has a fair and equal start in life. Seeing Save the Children's innovative programs in action, like encouraging healthy eating, I know that we can begin to reverse the childhood poverty crisis. I'm pleased Brooklyn is learning that by helping and joining other children he can play a role in making his generation the greatest yet." [Daily Mail]

• Taylor Swift is on the cover of the new 3D issue (?!?!) of In Style, and inside she talks about meeting Taylor Lautner on the set of Valentine's Day: "He and I have gotten really close," she says. "It would be confusing on the set with two Taylors in the same scene. They were like, 'Taylor, on your mark – no, not you, the other one!' So halfway through the shoot, I said, 'How about you guys call me Swifty and call him Taylor?'" She also says: "I've never thought it was a curse to be single, and at this point in my life, I'm in the mind-set where I choose to be single — like I got to light scented candles and write in my diary and I wouldn't have time for that if I had a boyfriend right now!" [People]
• Oprah claimed that citizens of Dubai get free water, electricity and health care without paying income tax. While it's true residents are not subject to income tax, there is no support for the other claims. Whoops! [Page Six]
• The National Enquirer is reporting that David Letterman's wife asked him to move out; his rep says the story is "wrong." And it appears that reporters from the Enquirer called Dave's mom for a statement, because they are jerks. Her comment: "I don't know anything about that." [NY Daily News]
• This one is real, not a Hortense creation: "Sombre Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie look distant on a rare night out as they join A-listers at art party." [Daily Mail]
• Cops in Germany have searched a home in connection with the Cindy Crawford extortion case. The apartment might belong to Edis Kayalar, the guy who allegedly tried to get Cindy and her husband to pay him not to release a photo of their daughter bound and gagged. [TMZ]
• Vivid Entertainment is trying to buy Carrie Prejean's "erotic footage." [TMZ]
• Diddy's 40th birthday party will be a "fantasy dreamland" with fashion installations, a labyrinth, performance art and light shows. Plus a "very special" musical guest. Who could it be? [Page Six]
• Holy crap, the stills from "Video Phone," Beyoncé's video with Lady Gaga, look weird and amazing. The video should be out this week. [The Life Files]
• Mariah Carey pulled out of a performance on Brit TV show Strictly Come Dancing so she could appear on competing show X Factor. [Telegraph]
• Hayden Panettiere is producing a CW show called HMS — Harvard Medical School — which basically sounds like Grey's Anatomy Junior. [ET]
• Ryan Reynolds will be part of the NYC theatrical comedy show Celebrity Autobiography: In Their Own Words, in which stars read humorous snippets from celebrity memoirs. Ryan will read from Kenny Loggins' The Unimaginable Life: Lessons Learned on the Path of Love. Also reading: Rachel Dratch, Carol Kane, Sherri Shepherd, Michael Urie, and Kristen Wiig. [NY Times]
• Courteney Cox — and husband David Arquette — are looking forward to being in Scream 4. She's not sure about the plot, but imagines that: "He's probably still deputy, and I've had a lot of kids. I don't know. I'm probably miserable, and then I'm sure a lot of murdering will happen." [AP]
• Flavor Flav entered a Doritos commercial contest "randomly and unprovoked" and his spot is "pretty damn good." [Page Six]
• Sigourney Weaver has been named in a £3.1 million lawsuit over a business deal involving Vincent Longo cosmetics, of which she is a part-owner. [Daily Express]
• Eva Longoria Parker has been named Philanthropist of the Year by The Hollywood Reporter. [THR]
• Did you know that Simon Cowell has an older sister named June Cowell? And that she was a child actress? And that she has lived in Majorca for more than 30 years? You do now. [Daily Mail}
• Shayne Lamas was busted for a DUI — she says she had only one drink. [TMZ]
• Did Farrah Fawcett have a "secret lover" in her will? [Daily Express]
• Uncle Jesse John Stamos gets a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame today. [ONTD via NBC Los Angeles]
• Run, Fez, run! Wilmer Valderrrama will join a US Marine veteran on a 100-mile trek across Louisiana. [Page Six]
• If Aretha Franklin wants you to turn the air conditioning off, turn it off! Don't release voicemails and call her a diva. Jeez. [Gatecrasher]
• Hello, random: Donna Mills of Knots Landing is not a fan of Carrie Prejean. More specifically, she thinks the beauty queen should "shut her mouth." [TMZ]
• Black people: Omitted from the Couples Retreat poster in the UK. [Mail on Sunday]
• Lou Dobbs says his departure from CNN was "amicable." [NY Times]
• Yesterday in NYC, while attempting to break up a brawl at a club in Brooklyn, cops shot and killed a bouncer who had once been a bodyguard for Jay-Z, Mariah Carey and Diddy. [NY Post]
• At the link, discover how Led Zeppelin wrote "Stairway to Heaven." [NY Post]
• "I'm not moving to America, I will sometimes go there. I have to go there to make films. We do make films in England but it's more like a hobby. They're like 'Come along, we can make a film. Oh, and can you make the sandwiches?'" — Russell Brand. [Mirror]
• "I'm hoping the chemistry with Ellen will be great — and a great start to the season." — American Idol's Kara DioGuardi. [Reuters]
• "In hindsight, it was a magnificent thing for both of us in the sense that we got to see, both of us, really commit to this. A lot of marriages, it might take years and years for something to befall the relationship to see what are we made of. Are we gonna stand up when the storms come? And to see that that early on was really, it was life changing for me 'cause I knew I was with somebody that was in this. They're really, really in this. And so, I wanted to be in this, too. We both just stepped up to the plate, and she followed her heart, you know, God bless her. It was all life-changing." — Keith Urban, on going into rehab four months into his marriage to Nicole Kidman. [CBS News]
• "Having Jude Law licking my face for three days solid was a surreal experience. It was for a scene in 2007's Blueberry Nights. My character had passed out on a table and Jude had to come in and kiss some cream off the corner of my mouth. We did the take over and over again, so he kissed me about 90 times. There are worse ways to spend your day." — Norah Jones. [Daily Mail]
• "My life was kind of weird. My mother would cook, but we would get looked after by lots of maids. It felt like we lived in these big, enormous houses with lots of guests." — Carey Mulligan's father was a hotel executive, so she lived in hotels while growing up. [Reuters]
• "I can't answer it. The way I write, it's what makes me happy. Like, I can't write when people are looking over my shoulder. I am a little burned out on vampires right now. I think I need a little break. I might go spend some time with my aliens. I might do something completely different. I've got to cleanse the palate. I may come back to it. I did envision it as a longer series. But I wrapped ‘Breaking Dawn' in a way that I felt satisfied with, so if that moment didn't come, I'd be OK." — Stephenie Meyer on the possibility of a fifth Twilight book. [MSNBC Scoop]
• "My sister has an incredible body. I feel sorry for anyone who would judge her, because she's one sexy lady." — Ashlee Simpson. [People]
• "I hate doing school scenes and office scenes; I hate doing mall scenes… if I could do exciting genre films like this and be covered in blood and vomit for the rest of my life, I would be really happy." — Megan Fox. [Showbiz Spy]
• "I own the rights to (Oscar-winning Gone with the Wind co-star) Hattie McDaniel's life story, and I can't wait to tell that story, because that woman was absolutely amazing. She had to stand up to the adversity of black and white (society) at a time when we really weren't accepted. Mr. Lee Daniels is going to direct it, of course, and I'm going to be Miss Hattie McDaniel. I really hope I can do that woman justice." — Mo'Nique. [Reuters]
• "I love to get on that stage, honey, and make you laugh until you pee on yourself… That's my baby. I will never stop stand-up. I will be 97 years old, with two teeth and maybe a bit of hair, and I will be on that stage hoping they're having as much (fun) as I'm having." — Mo'Nique. [Reuters]
• "I feel bad for kids who are just getting famous now. If Reality Bites had come out now and I had all those people Gawker-stalking me, my life would have been hell. I feel bad for the way pop culture seems to be eating itself alive. It ends up belittling everybody."— Ethan Hawke. [NY Post]
• "When I was very young, I used to see books as the thing keeping everyone from playing with me. So there'd be long stretches in the afternoons when everyone was off in their reading corners, sprawled on couches. And I would go up to them and do this little dance to try and break their concentration, which of course they never did: ‘I'm bored!' ‘Go read a book!' ‘I'm bored!' ‘Go read a book!' And of course, now I dream of having long stretches when I'll be able to read a book." — Olivia Wilde, on being the child of writers. [New York Magazine]
• "My mother was a major fashion inspiration. Though she often wore simple housecoats with penny loafers - and usually had a Pall Mall Gold in one hand and a small glass of Scotch in the other, with an empty Hellmann's mayonnaise jar full of ice water nearby to use as a chaser - she could dress up fabulous when she wanted to. In her wedding photographs she wore a perfectly tailored navy blue coat with an off-white lining that had big, hand-painted navy blue flowers. She paired it all with navy pumps and a pillbox hat with an ivory veil. My mother certainly knew how to make an impression when she wanted to, both in the way she dressed and the way she acted. I definitely inherited those strengths from her." — America's Next Top Model's Miss J, in his new book. Do click and see the lovely vintage photo of his mother. [NY Daily News]
• "I'm like, let me get through the taping of Top Model cycle 3,413… Then I'll move to phase two, but I'm thinking about a perfume for tweens." — Miss J, on what he plans to do next. [NY Daily News]

• Britney Spears fans in Perth, Australia, are demanding their money back after Spears disappointed them by lip-synching at her concerts. In related news, Britney Spears fans in Perth, Australia have apparently been on Mars since approximately 1997. [SundayTelegraph]

• A former high-ranking Scientologist claims that Tom Cruise once offered to "‘beat the living [bleep]' out of" three Scientology officials who were not receiving tough enough treatment from Scientology "managers" while incarcerated in a "prisonlike facility on the compound." According to Marty Rathburn the ex-Scientologist making these claims: "In response, the mob rushed at the three targeted gentlemen. Fists flew and feet kicked into the three. They continued to pound until … each had two black eyes." [NYDN]
• Oh dear: Carrie Prejean's mother was reportedly in the room when Prejean's "solo sex tape" was shown to the former beauty queen by Miss California USA lawyers. [TMZ]
• Morrissey, who recently returned to the stage after collapsing due to illness a few weeks ago, left a concert early last night after being hit in the head by a bottle. "If there's ever a singer who would not take kindly to a bottle being thrown at him, it's Morrissey," one fan said. [Mirror]
• Taylor Lautner says the paparazzi can decide for themselves if he and Taylor Swift are an item or not: "The very funny thing is that all of you have seen every single move I make, so I guess I can leave that up to you to decide." [USMagazine]
• Ugh: Michael Lohan attempted to get $100,000 dollars for his private tapes of his daughter, Lindsay crying on the telephone, but eventually settled for exposure instead, according to a source :"Michael initially asked for a large fee — six figures — for the tapes of Lindsay and Dina, but he didn't get any takers. Radar Online also refused to pay for the tapes, so in the end he agreed to a deal to release the recordings for no fee, but giving him the exposure he needs with a paid interview." Can't we just pay him to go away, instead? [PageSix]
• Meanwhile, Lohan is set to testify against former BFF Jon Gosselin in TLC's breach of contract lawsuit. [Radar]
• A Christmas Carol led the Friday box office this week, but the true success story of the weekend were the record-breaking numbers brought in by Precious, which took in $585,000 from just 18 theaters; an average of $32,500 per screen. [EW]
• if you want to go on tour with Britney Spears, you have keep it clean; Spears reportedly has told staff members that they might be subjected to random drug testing. "Britney's rule is clear – zero tolerance," says a source, "If you don't comply, you don't tour. We're not even allowed to have a beer or glass of wine with a meal, even on days off." [DailyExpress]
• Ashlee Simpson, who already played Chicago's Roxie Hart on the London stage, may reprise the role on Broadway. [OK]
• Television medium Derek Acorah claims that in a seance with Michael Jackson, the late singer told him he was upset that he hadn't been buried alongside Marilyn Monroe. [TheSun]
• Want to buy a strand of Elvis Presley's hair? Well now you can, I guess, if you're willing to bid at least $250 at an upcoming action. [AP]
• A new actor "auditing" system set up by the UK Film Council has concluded that Kate Winslet is worth approximately £60 million to the British economy. [Telegraph]
• In other cash related news, Nicole Kidman is owed a combined $16,673.09 in cash from NBC Universal and the Wells Fargo bank. [TMZ]
• Rihanna refused a $10,000 bottle of champagne at a Vegas nightclub because she wasn't familiar with Jets player Braylon Edwards and his teammates, who sent it to her. [PageSix]
• Andre Agassi says he was terrified that his wig would fly off during the 1990 French Open (I still can't believe it was a wig. A wig!), and that his wig "scared the heck out of me. I kept envisioning what this would be like if my hair just flew off and landed. Like, what would I do? Would I go over and kill it, or would I — would I quickly put it back on?" [PageSix]
• Kate Moss "maintains her hair herself these days" after falling out with stylist James Brown. [DailyMail]
• Russell Brand and Katy Perry are going strong at seven weeks: "The pair could not keep the smiles off their faces as they walked hand-in-hand around the sophisticated London neighbourhood." [DailyMail]
• Kate Hudson says she had to quit smoking because "it was starting to drive me crazy! I didn't like the way the car smelt, or my hair and clothes. It takes you away from the family and the things you're doing. You don't realize it at the time. Then when you're done, you go, ‘Wow, I do so much more in a day – including eat.'" [ShowbizSpy]
• Mad Max: Fury Road, the third film in the Mad Max series, will begin shooting in Australia next year with British actor Tom Hardy in the lead role. [DailyExpress]
• Ray Davies says he's considering a reality show to find cast members for his upcoming musical, Come Dancing, which is based on the history of his band, The Kinks. [DailyExpress]
• "He's a terrific director. You never know what you're getting into with any director, but he's been in this business for so long that he really know what he's doing and he's a great director. All of us enjoyed working with him so much." -Blake Lively on working for Ben Affleck. [JustJared]
• "Coming from being molested as a child, when [director Lee Daniels] said, 'I need you to be this monster,' well [I] knew who that monster was." -Mo'Nique on her role in Precious. [People]
• "You might think I'd bring up Joe [Jonas], that guy who broke up with me on the phone, but I'm not gonna mention him in my monologue. Hey Joe, I'm doing real well. Tonight, I'm hosting SNL but I'm not gonna brag about that in my monologue. La la la. Ha ha ha. La la la."-Taylor Swift, in her SNL monologue, obviously. [JustJared]
• The teen burglars who ransacked the homes of Lindsay Lohan, Paris Hilton, and Orlando Bloom, among others, apparently got into the homes simply by walking through unlocked front doors. [People]
• "It is a very odd feeling to know that everything you say and do is going to be examined by people. I made the decision last year to keep my private life to myself. I can't do anything about all the speculation. I know what is true and that is all that matters."-Kristen Stewart [ShowbizSpy]
• "I said at the beginning that it was about change, and things did change in the '60s. But from the beginning of the series, I wanted there to be stakes to the fact that [Don] behaved the way he [did]. That's what you're seeing enacted right now: the irony of the fact that he came clean to Betty and his worst fear was that she wouldn't love him anymore. And there you are."-Matthew Weiner on tonight's Mad Men season finale. [NYMag]

Precious, which opens today in New York, Los Angeles, Chicago, and Atlanta, is based on the novel Push by Sapphire and executive-produced by Oprah Winfrey and Tyler Perry, who came on board after its screening at Sundance. The film is set in late 80s Harlem, where 16-year-old Claireece Precious Jones (Gabourey "Gabby" Sidibe) is facing more hardships than it seems one person should ever endure. Her mother Mary (Mo'Nique) physically and emotionally abuses her and she's pregnant by her drug addict father for the second time. She's illiterate and mostly quiet (at first), but has an elaborate inner life the film portrays in fantasy sequences. When Precious is threatened with expulsion because she's pregnant she's offered the chance to transfer to an alternative school. Her new teacher, Blu Rain (Paula Patton), and Mrs. Weiss (Mariah Carey), a social worker, help Precious begin to deal with the abuse she's suffering.

While a less elegantly done movie could have fallen into several syrupy clichés about underprivileged kids learning to love themselves with the help of an attentive mentor, critics say the film avoids these pitfalls. The story is inspirational and (as Latoya writes) surprisingly hopeful, but it doesn't gloss over the ugliness of Precious' life and she doesn't overcome a lifetime of abuse in two hours.

Critics mention all the main leads as Oscar contenders, particularly Sidibe and Mo'Nique. Happily, most of the reviews focus on Sidibe's incredible performance rather than her size, with the notable exception of David Edelstein's New York Magazine review, which some found infuriating. A few critics question why all of the positive protagnoists are portrayed by light-skinned actors and Slate's review calls the depiction of Precious' reality "poverty porn". A roundup, below.

The Wall Street Journal

Precious is genuinely and irresistibly inspirational. If the filmmaking weren't so skillful and the acting weren't so consistently brilliant, you might mistake this production for a raw slice of life from a Third World country where movies can still be instruments of moral instruction and social change. If Ms. Sidibe weren't playing the title role, it's hard to imagine what Precious would be. She doesn't play it, she invades and conquers it with concentrated energy and blithe humor.

The Chicago Sun-Times

Sidibe is heartbreaking as Precious, that poor girl. Three other actresses [Mo'Nique, Paula Patton, and Mariah Carey] perform so powerfully in the film that academy voters will be hard-pressed to choose among them... This casting looks almost cynical on paper, as if reflecting old Hollywood days when stars were slipped into "character roles" with a wink. But Lee Daniels, the director, didn't cast them for their names, and actually doesn't use any of their star qualities. He requires them to act. Somehow he was able to see beneath the surface and trust that they had within the emotional resources to play these women, and he was right... The film is a tribute to Sidibe's ability to engage our empathy. Her work is still another demonstration of the mystery of some actors, who evoke feelings in ways beyond words and techniques. She so completely creates the Precious character that you rather wonder if she's very much like her.

Salon

What Daniels seems to recognize, perhaps even unconsciously, is that even though this is supposed to be Precious' story, for most of it she's a passive, if sensitive, receptor: The forces swirling around her provide most of the drama's dynamics. And within that context, Sidibe's performance is understated but alert. It's not her line delivery that gets to you, but the cautious curve of her smile, a smile in which she indulges only occasionally. When we see her going off to her first day of school, the blue plastic beads she wears around her neck are a dash of visual confidence, offsetting the shyness of her lumbering carriage.

New York Magazine

I'm not judging girls who look like Sidibe in life, but her image onscreen is jarring to the point of being transgressive, its only equivalent to be seen in John Waters's pointedly outrageous carnivals. Her head is a balloon on the body of a zeppelin, her cheeks so inflated they squash her eyes into slits. Her expression is either surly or unreadable. Even with her voice-over narration, you're meant to stare at her ebony face and see nothing. The movie is saying that she's not an object, but the way that Sidibe is directed she becomes one. It's only in a couple of heavy-handed fantasy sequences (she emerges from a theater in a bright-red gown to popping flashbulbs) that her eyes are windows to the soul.

Entertainment Weekly

In her first dramatic role, the comedian Mo'Nique acts with such force that she burns a hole in the screen. Her Mary is raging and defeated, a woman who treats Precious as a slave - and I don't use the word lightly, since part of the film's power is its perception that these two are living out patterns of cruelty that go back for generations. Their agony has roots. What's terrifying about the abuse here is how casually it's accepted as a fact of life, by both perpetrator and victim.

The New York Times

Mary, brimming with rage, thwarted love and plain meanness, is a character bound to provoke discomfort. Even otherwise misogynistic hip-hop artists will pay tribute to the heroism of African-American mothers, and to see that piety so thoroughly dispensed with is downright shocking. Other provocations are more subtle but no less pointed. There are virtually no men in this movie. Precious's father is glimpsed briefly in flashbacks of his assaults on her, and in the fantasy sequences that provide escape from her pain Precious hobnobs with handsome boys, but otherwise the only male character of significance is a hospital worker played by Lenny Kravitz. Otherwise, Precious's cosmos, for better and for worse, is a universe of women: the social worker (Mariah Carey scrubbed of any vestige of divahood); the teacher, Ms. Rain; her co-worker in the remedial education program, played by the comedian and talk show host Sherri Shepherd; and Precious's fellow students. These characters all can be seen as surrogate mothers, aunts and sisters, who together provide Precious with a more functional family (to say the least) than what she has at home. But their love is also enabled by institutions and government policies. An unstated but self-evident moral of Precious, set during Ronald Reagan's presidency and based on a book published in the year of Bill Clinton's welfare reform, is that government can provide not only a safety net, but also, in small and consequential ways, a lifeline.

The Los Angeles Times

Like the book, the dialogue is graphic and politically incorrect. Precious' first child, a daughter, is called Little Mongo, because of her Down syndrome. When the teenager finds one of her teachers is a "straight-up lesbian," she says so before going on to list all the things homosexuals haven't done to her. With Mary, meanwhile, it's not so much the words themselves that shock, though it sometimes seems her vocabulary doesn't extend beyond four-letter words, but the molten lava underneath them.

Reel Views

Precious ... manages the task of being both heartbreaking and heart-warming, all without resorting to the kind of manipulation so often evident in dramas about underprivileged kids trying to improve themselves. There are pitfalls inherent in this kind of story, but indie director Lee Daniels sidesteps them, crafting a feature that is both emotionally honest and stirring. Precious spends time in the urban trenches that are often used as a colorful backdrop for other less true films; here, they are integral to the essence of the characters, places where acts of supreme horror are dismissed matter-of-factly. Ultimately, Precious is a story of one young woman's embrace of self-worth in these circumstances, but that discovery does not come without a price.

Rolling Stone

When I tell people how good this movie is - and I can't shut up about it - they flash me the stink eye. As in "Yeah, right, like I need to sink into a depression coma for two hours watching a fat, illiterate, HIV-positive Harlem girl get knocked up (twice) by her daddy, brutally battered by her mother and laughed at by a world eager to pound abuse on her 16-year-old ass." Won't you dickheads be surprised. Precious ... tunnels inside your head, leaves you moved like no film in years and then lifts you up in ways you don't see coming. Despite the pain at the story's core, the movie has a spirit that soars.

The Village Voice

Hothouse melodrama one moment, kitchen-sink (and frying-pan-to-the-head) realism the next, with eruptions of incongruous slapstick throughout, this may be Daniels's stab at finding a cinematic analog for the novel's inventive, naïf-art language-a film style, like Precious's writing style, seemingly being made up as it goes along. Yet even when the movie is at its most schizoid, Precious still packs a wallop. What Daniels lacks as a craftsman, he makes up for in his willingness to put the lives of abused and defeated black women on the screen with brute-force candor and a lack of sentimentality... Precious is less about overcoming adversity than about survival-a battle the movie does not begin to pretend can be won in two hours of screen time.

The Hollywood Reporter

Damien Paul's edgy and effervescent screenplay propels us into the inner recesses of primitive survival. It's a magnificent distillation, both succinct and eruptive. Director Lee Daniels sagely navigates the story from Precious' cavernous inner world through her synaptic flashes of fantasy that momentarily allow her to transcend her personal hell. As Precious, Sidibe is superb, allowing us to see the inner warmth and beauty of a young woman who, to her world's cruel eyes, might seem monstrous. As Precious' hideous mother, Mo'Nique is cruelty incarnate. It's an astonishingly powerful performance.

The New Yorker

Blu Rain['s] powers of uplift feel like make-believe. She is a vision of tolerant gentleness, who wears a new set of soft fabrics every day and plays Scrabble in the evening with her equally lovely lesbian partner. "They talk like TV stations I don't watch," Precious says, but that tart line is not borne out by the film, which drinks in Ms. Rain without demur. The same goes for the fantasy sequences-hugely ill-advised dream clips, showing a richly clad Precious at a movie première or slow-dancing with a hunk. One of them even finds a slender white girl gazing back at her from the bedroom mirror. What we have here is a fouled-up fairy tale of oppression and empowerment, and it's hard not to be ensnared by its mixture of rank maleficence and easy reverie. The gap between being genuinely stirred and having your arm twisted, however, is narrower than we care to admit.

Slate

It's not that there isn't anything to like about Precious, which at its best resembles its heroine: observant, large-spirited, and brave. The director, Lee Daniels puts on his hip boots and wades into grimmer territory than any recent film I can think of, and his fearless leading ladies, Mo'Nique and Sidibe, wade right in with him. But Daniels' methodical commitment to abjection, his need to shove the reality of Precious' life in our faces and wave it around till we acknowledge its awfulness, winds up robbing the audience (and, to some extent, the actors) of all agency. Daniels is not above cutting from an image of incestuous rape to a shot of greasy pork sizzling on the stove: Her father treats her like meat, get it? In its eagerness to drag us through the lower depths of human experience, Precious leaves no space for the audience to breathe or to draw our own conclusions. For a film about empowerment and self-actualization, it wields an awfully large cudgel... Daniels and Fletcher no doubt intended for their film to lend a voice to the kind of protagonist too often excluded from American movie screens: a poor, black, overweight single mother from the inner city. But in offering up their heroine's misery for the audience's delectation, they've created something uncomfortably close to poverty porn.

Women & Hollywood

Precious challenges and assaults every nerve ending. It pushes the viewer to see people that are mostly invisible in the culture (and onscreen) and humanizes them. But Precious is by far not a perfect film. The script by first time screenwriter Geoffrey Fletcher is really far fetched and paints a picture that is only there black and white (not talking about color here) and full of stereotypes. For example, the women who brutalize Precious are dark skinned while the women who help her are lighter skinned. What does that mean? Is it intentional? What if anything is he trying to say? What is most missing from the film is nuance and gray areas and that is clearly the directing choice of Lee Daniels. He wants you to think in extremes because Precious' world is extreme.

Ain't It Cool News

Precious is an achievement that will take a long time for me to shake. Even if I didn't like what I saw or heard at times, I'm glad someone like Daniels is out there making movies that move me to such a degree and remind me that there are people and things in the world that can still shock me into feeling something about a character and a film as deeply as this film did. This is a story of a survivor that doesn't fall back on big speeches, swelling music, angels and kittens; there's very little about this movie that would qualify as "feel good." But I did feel something after seeing it, and that's a rarity these days.

Earlier: Long Day's Journey Into Night: Reading Push, watching Precious
Precious Reactions Interesting, Infuriating
Push Comes To Shove: Precious Pushback
What We Talk About When We Talk About Precious

Hope was the last thing I was expecting when I delved into the story. Foremost on my mind was a Racialicous post from January, "Reveling in Bleakness," an essay that digs into the issues surrounding Push/black literature in mainstream culture; furthermore, any online discussion of Precious, was followed by mention of writer Percival Everett's book Erasure, a literary response to Push published in 2001. In short, all initial discussion of the book and the movie was a race and class-related cacophony, and I hadn't even opened a page.

I settled in for what I thought would be an extremely painful and devastating read...or, worse, something so disgusting and exploitative that I would reject it outright as poverty pimping. Instead, I fell headlong into the alternately horrific and hilarious world of Precious Jones, a world that felt simultaneously familiar and alien. Precious' rapid fire thoughts, and casual allegiance to Louis Farrakhan and the Nation of Islam are fascinating, as is her openness to the world, even as she is limited by her life's circumstances. I understand the impulse to cringe at her story, painted as it is with dysfunction and pain (the graphic depictions of sexual and physical violence aren't for the faint of heart). But again, I read the novel dry-eyed. Perhaps I didn't have any tears left to shed for Precious. I've been holding in the secrets of others for years - and although the circumstances described in Push are extreme, they're not unimaginable. I smiled when I closed the book.

The next day, I hopped on the train to NYC to catch a screening of the film adaptation. Again, I prepared for a devastation that did not materialize. I did break down - especially during Mary's final monologue - but I spent a lot more of the movie laughing along with the title character (sometimes, life is so fucked up it moves into the absurd, which is what happens in Precious.; but the abject misery of the dank apartment Precious shares with her sadistic mother is mitigated by many other scenes, especially those of Precious' fellow students reclaiming their lives and their narratives).

My favorite character, outside of Precious, is Joanne. Actress Xosha Roquemore clearly evokes the spirit of Remy Ma and drops her into the 1980s. I died laughing at her empathy and warmth, undercut with flourishes of hard posturing.

The film does many things well, starting with the Susan L. Taylor cameo as the fairy godmother who opens the film's first fantasy sequence. Daniels is able to capture the horror of what happens to Precious without glamorizing the violence, making use of quick cut scenes and strategically placed fantasy sequences to pull both Precious and the viewer away from the acts committed upon her. In addition, Daniels stays fairly true to the book, pulling many lines directly from the pages. In addition, Daniels makes wonderful use of visuals - the laughter-filled, happy scenes with Precious in the hospital, surrounded by friends and a doting vegan nurse (Lenny Kravitz) provide a stark contrast with her return to the brown void with her mother.

Though I would count the film as a success, there is a major stumble that took place when moving the book from page to screen.

Over at Feministing, Rose writes:

A few days remain until Precious debuts across the country on Nov. 6th. The story, originally told by Sapphire through the novel Push, is an ode to negotiating inclusion and exclusion in the media. It's about much more than the New York Times' account: a "Harlem girl raped and impregnated by her abusive father." (That's practically all the ink dedicated to Precious the character despite an accompanying a column that extends for 5 pages.) It's about inclusion and what it says about who is valuable in our society. That's best captured in Push, when Precious explores this:

I am comp'tant. I was comp'tant enough for her [Precious' mother] husband to fuck. She ain' come in here and say, Carl Kenwood Jones—thas wrong! Git off Precious like that! Can't you see Precious is a beautiful chile like white chile in magazines or on toilet paper wrappers. Precious is a blue-eye skinny chile whose hair is long braids, long long braids. Git off Precious fool! It time for Precious to go to the gym like Janet Jackson. It time for Precious hair to braided.(64)

But what I love about the book is that Precious is not a defenseless subject. She is a survivor who resists against her exclusion by striving for her own inclusion. She does this by learning how to read. She then uses her literacy to read about the lives of Black women through writers such as Alice Walker, Ann Petry, Ann McGovern and others. The story ends with her literally penning her own story fully epitomizing the agency she had all along despite sexual trauma and despair.

This is precisely my take. From the beginning of the novel, Precious' voice explodes on the page, providing us with a heroine who may not be the most educated or literate, but has a vibrant inner life. This doesn't exactly translate on screen - Sidibe voices some of Precious' thoughts, but slowly, and nowhere near as many random, flitting ideas are explored in the movie. This omission changes our perception of Precious - in the book, she is bright, quick-witted, and runs a constant narration about the things she has encountered in her world. And once she discovers the alternative school, the reader is excited as Precious is finally given a chance to express what she is thinking - she has a space in which to speak where she is valued, as well as a new method (writing) that unlocked more possibilities for reflection, introspection, and discussions.

In the film, these elements are flattened a bit. I'm aware that books cannot be translated exactly to the screen, but condensing Precious' thoughts removes a lot of her own agency. For example, after Precious acts out in math class and gets into a verbal confrontation with her teacher, Mr. Wicher, she feels some remorse and ruminates on a goal that's slightly out of reach:

I didn't want to hurt him or embarrass him like that you know. But I couldn't let him, anybody, know, page 122 look like page 152, 22, 3, 6, 5 - all the pages look alike to me. 'N I really do want to learn. Everyday I tell myself something gonna happen, some shit like on TV. I'm gonna break through or somebody gonna break through to me - I'm gonna learn, catch up, be normal, change my seat to the front of the class. But again, it has not been that day.

This was on page five. Sapphire establishes her acharacter as wanting something more, knowing there is something more, but not quite understanding how she can reach her goal. The movie makes the classroom scenes closer to a "Freedom Writers" scenario, with Paula Patton veering way too close to the typical "nice white lady" trope.

Ah, Paula Patton.

While I think Patton is gorgeous and talented, I don't think she did the character of Blu Rain justice.

Part of this is not her fault - the character of Blue Rain in the book is considerably darker, with dreadlocks. Now, this may not seem so important on its face. After all, casting makes character changes all the time, right? This shouldn't be this big of a deal.

And it wouldn't, if the character of Precious wasn't so thoroughly indoctrinated with self hatred, displaying her color consciousness throughout the entire book. In Push, after she has her first child, Precious wastes no time in calling an EMT a "spic", quickly revising her opinion of him to use the more respectful term "Spanish" and comment on his "coffee-cream color, good hair" after he comes to her aid. Her nurse in the hospital is described as "butter color" - Precious worships light skinned people in general, whites most of all, believing that if she were white, her life would be better. She says:

My fahver don't see me really. If he did, he would know I was like a white girl, a real person, inside.

Marinate on that for a second. She would be real if she were white.

He would not climb on me from forever and stick his dick in me 'n get me inside on fire, bleed, I bleed then he slap me. Can't he see I am a girl for flowers and thin straw legs and a place in the picture. I been out the picture so long I am used to it. But that don't mean it don't hurt.

In Precious' mind, whiteness is equivalent to being loved, safe, and wanted. The movie briefly touches on this, showing Precious looking in the mirror and seeing a young white girl peering back at her, but this moment is robbed from its potency unless you are exposed to the constant self-hatred throbbing in her brain.

On a broader scale, as many others have noted, the positioning of Paula Patton and Mariah Carey as Precious' light skinned saviors reinforces existing societal ideas - the evil or helpless dark skinned people being uplifted (or punished) by the benevolent light skinned people. The casting serves to help reinforce existing prejudices that we see played out onscreen time and time again.

Even outside of that, Patton's portrayal of Rain did not make me believe that she was someone Precious could trust. That Mad TV sketch I linked to above? That was the scene between Precious and Blu Rain after Precious confesses she is HIV positive. Down to the heavy handed command, "write."

The other moment in the film that radically departs from the book is Mary's final monologue. In the social worker's office, Precious' mother gives voice to what caused her to look the other way when she knew her child was being sexually abused, and gives insight into why she chose to perpetuate this dysfunction. In the book, this speech isn't much of a speech - it's a confession, with Precious cursing her mother out in her head the whole time. And while the sight of the film's monstrous antagonist breaking down and offering to forgo the sacred welfare for a chance to be reunited with her daughter adds to the movie immeasurably, I don't think Mary should have automatically been humanized on principle. If you want the evil mom to be given full representation and humanity, go read the Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao. But here, I think Sapphire deliberately chose not to humanize Mary's character. Why? I believe the answer lies on page 31.

I talk loud but I still don't exist.

In life, the character of Precious Jones is marginalized and invisible, ignored unless someone wishes to do her harm or use her in some way. Her only refuge is her mind, where she keeps herself company. And thus, Sapphire - who revealed a bit of this sentiment in her recent interview with Katie Couric - makes the entire novel about her. It's all about her thoughts, her eyes, her reactions, her perceptions. (The other girls publish their stories in a supplement after Precious' story ends.) And so, shifting the focus to anyone else would ultimately start to overshadow the story of Precious, even for a moment.

There is so much more I could write - perceptions about the film, familial violence, sexual abuse, black stereotyping, the single story conundrum, other critics take's, race and Oscar bait, what I thought about Erasure - but those will have to wait for another day.

Precious [Official Site]

Related: Reveling In Bleakness [Racialicious]
Erasure [Amazon]
The Not-Rape Epidemic [Racialicious]
Precious: Based On The Novel Push By Sapphire [IMDB]
On Representation: Push Versus Precious [Feministing]
Reflections On Lola [The Brief Wondrous Life Of Oscar Wao] (Part 1 of 2) [Racialicious]
Katie Couric Interviews Sapphire [What About Our Daughters]

Earlier: What We Talk About When We Talk About Precious

Although Mo'Nique has lost about 40 lbs, she was quick to grab her belly and say she still had her "girl." Then Ellen declared Mo'Nique in posession of a "sexy big kitten head."

For the sake of brevity, let's simply focus on the "WTF Moments."

Outlet: New York Magazine
Article: "When Push Comes to Shove"
Speaker: David Edelstein, author of the piece
Quote:

I'm not judging girls who look like Sidibe in life, but her image onscreen is jarring to the point of being transgressive, its only equivalent to be seen in John Waters's pointedly outrageous carnivals. Her head is a balloon on the body of a zeppelin, her cheeks so inflated they squash her eyes into slits. Her expression is either surly or unreadable. Even with her voice-over narration, you're meant to stare at her ebony face and see nothing.

Sidibe does look like this in real life - what, has he never seen a big girl before? I suppose not - watching the movie, many different emotions flicker across Precious' face, but these are easily missed if one is gawking rather than watching.

But the woman who drops a TV onto Precious as she hurries down the stairs with her infant is a sociopath, too singularly garish to be universal.

Spoken like someone who has never watched one of their parents lose their mind over something you did and prepare to commit homicide. There's a reason Precious was running so fucking fast. Did he just miss that part in the opening where her mother Mary promises to whoop her ass for being uppity? That wasn't hyperbole.

Edelstein must have also missed some of Lee Daniels' memories from growing up. As he explains to the Daily Beast:

"It brought back a feeling I had when I was 11 years old and living in the projects in Philly. I answered the door one day, and a neighbor of ours, a light-skinned black girl who was about five years old, was standing there naked and bleeding. She'd been beaten with an electrical cord. I looked in my mom's eyes, and it was the first time I ever saw fear in her eyes. When I read Sapphire's book, those memories came back, and I felt I have to deal with this."

I get the impression from Edelstein's review that the book and the movie were simply too much dysfunction for him to stomach. And that's fine, I can understand that instinct - but why does he feel the need to dismiss brutal shows of force as "too singularly garish to be universal?" Please keep in mind that just because an experience is out of your ken, it may be heartbreakingly common to someone else.

Outlet: New York Post
Article: "Harlem Scuffle"
Speaker: Lee Daniels, director of Precious
Quote:

What separated Gabby from the others," Daniels says, "was she starts talking like this, ‘Oh, my God! I love your films so much. Oh, my God!' She talks like a white girl from the Valley."

Daniels, and his ideas of blackness, grate on me a bit . Ever since I read the NYT piece where he made a lot of references bowing to a monolithic view of what it means to be black, I've been slightly salty. Especially when one considers that many African-Americans feel rejected because they don't "fit" a certain paradigm of what is authentically black. I will forever call bullshit on this idea because it flattens the actual black experience.

Outlet: The Daily Beast
Article: "The Powerful Force at the Center of Precious"
Speaker: Gabourey "Gaby" Sidibe, lead actress and title character in Precious
Quote:

"For most of my life, my friends would ask me, ‘Were you adopted by white people?' And I'd say, ‘No, my parents went to college.'

What? Hold the phone. Having a certain type of speech pattern does not indicate your parents' education levels. It may indicate the region where you grew up, or your parents' vigilance to ensure you didn't have a lazy tongue, but "talking like a white girl" isn't some special collegiate exclusive. However, Sibide adds:

"My voice is different because my dad's Senegalese and my mom is from the South, so they both have accents. The mix of their accents created mine; I have little sisters who sound like me, too. And we are certainly black!"

When Push Comes to Shove [NY Mag]
Lee Daniels Reveals His Gritty Vision [Daily Beast]
Harlem Scuffle [New York Post]
The Powerful Force At The Center Of Precious [The Daily Beast]

Earlier:
What We Talk About When We Talk About Precious

Gabourey Sidibe has "regal" so down.


Sidney Poitier brings the regal; his guest (daughter Sydney) brings The Belt.


Xosha Roquemore the kind of woman who can work an unadorned shape, clearly. Man alive, as gramps would say.


Woman of the hour: Sapphire.


Lisa Edelstein is ready for a garden party, should one arise. And really, you never know.


Gayle King is unquestionably elegant, but I'm just obsessed with figuring out whether she's sporting boots?


Sherri Shepherd: Party in the front, after-party in the back!


If Olivia Wilde was going for an "Uptown Girl" costume for a Billy Joel-themed party that I just made up, well, this would be really good.


It's funny how a dress like Garcelle Beauvais-Nilon's can make one more aware of the breasts than something plunging. This is not to say she doesn't look great: just musin.'


Paula Patton's style of corset, for instance, always makes me think more "engineered."


I strongly suspect that Star Jones' dress is unflattering. But I see what she was thinking and, it's true, that would have looked wonderful. And we've all been there.


How is it that Mary J. Blige can combine a distracting print and a gratuitous slash and still work one of the best looks of the night?


Speaking of! Has Mo'Nique ever looked more totally glam? (Compulsory in Hollywood when one has played a non-glam character!)


Paula Abdul goes a little job interview, a little Bowie, a tad New Wave, a bit crazy...and yet, I dig.


I'm sorry, Oprah, I think you're under-dressed!


I mean, do you see Mimi over here? Doing classic bombshell absolutely flawlessly? This is an occasion for festivity! (Thoughtful festivity.)


How Kat Kramer and her omnipresent pantyhose made it here, I don't know...but I stand in awe.

[Images via Getty]

• Jon Gosselin has been doing some soul searching (or hired a better publicist). Today, he publicly apologized to Hailey Glassman and insisted there's no Nadya Suleman-Jon Gosselin reality show, though his recent behavior "lent credence to such outrageous stories."

• Gosselin responded to Hailey Glassman sobbing about his emotionally abusive "mantrums" on The Insider, saying Hailey, "has paid a significant price to live under such a media microscope. I am grateful for her emotional support and I regret any pain that my actions have caused her as she has selflessly born the pressures I have endured under the media glare. I am committed to making things right with Hailey as well as Kate and especially my children. I ask you to please give me the opportunity to prove myself." [The Insider]
• In Jon Gosselin's second mea culpa of the day, he said he's "troubled to learn that the media has accepted as true the scurrilous rumor that I would appear in a reality television program with Nadya Suleman" but he understands why the rumors are plausible. "I am well aware that my behavior over the past few months has not always reflected my personal and religious values," he says. "I further accept that I have allowed myself to become somewhat severed from my own moral anchor and be carried away by the challenges of fame. It is for this reason that I have endeavored of late to reconnect with my deeper, more spiritual, more altruistic self with regular study sessions and counseling." [E!]
• Nadya Suleman says the reality show, "was a joke. No offense to Jon Gosselin but I'm all about my kids right now. I don't have time for a man in my life. As far as the reality show goes, I can't speak for Jon but as far as I know presently there are no definitive plans for a TV show." [Radar Online]
• TLC is grooming the Hayes family of Table for 12 to replace the Gosselins. The Hayes already have them beat because they have sextuplets and two sets of twins. [N.Y. Post]
• While Madonna was visiting the Malawi orphanage where she adopted her son David, one of the children reportedly told her, "You are our God. Where could we have been without you?" An onlooker said Madonna looked bemused by the comment but "seemed cool with it." [The Sun]
• Department of Justice Investigator Danny Santiago testified today that Anna Nicole Smith's former nanny, Nadine Alexie, told him she saw Howard K. Stern and Dr. Khristine Eroshevich force drugs on Anna Nicole. She would be knocked out for days and wake up with feces and vomit in her bed. [TMZ]
• Taylor Swift was photographed with a guy who had a swastika painted on his shirt as part of the fabric paint shenanigans at Katy Perry's birthday party last weekend. The dude in question, A.J. English, says Swift may not have realized what he had on his shirt when he pulled her in for a photo. He adds that the symbol on his shirt started out as a "X" but got "perverted," and he's not a racist or a Nazi sympathizer. [TMZ]
• Lady Gaga is planning to celebrate her father's successful open-heart surgery by getting a tattoo. "I'm gonna get a tattoo for him this week; I'm gonna get a heart that says 'Dad' in it," she says. "I told him I was gonna get it and he got all teary-eyed and he said, 'Well, you're running out of real estate, so don't get it too big.'" [Contact Music]
• Lady Gaga is including a lock of her hair in every super deluxe box set of The Fame. [The Mirror]
• Italian performance artist Francesco Vezzoli is creating a production called Ballets Russes Italian Style (The Shortest Musical You Will Never See Again) starring Lady Gaga and dancers from the Bolshoi Ballet for a November 14 performance at the Museum of Contemporary Art in L.A. [N.Y.T.]
• Slumdog Millionaire stars Azharuddin Mohammed Ismail and Rubina Ali may lose their monthly stipend and trust fund because they are both have less than a 37% attendance rate at school. [USA Today]
• Another man has been arrested near Miley Cyrus' Georgia movie set. 22-year-old soldier Sean Christian Mathis allegedly came by the set in June and yelled at Miley's stunt double, "Hey, it's Miley Cyrus, I'm going to fucking kill you." [TMZ]
• Literature professor August Coppola, Nicolas Cage's father and Francis Ford Coppola's brother, died on Tuesday of a heart attack. He was 75. [AP]
• Evi Quaid showed up to a town hall meeting in Marfa, Texas last night and allegedly vandalized the building and screamed at one of the clerks. She was upset because she and Randy Quaid are renovating their home but don't have the necessary permits. [Radar Online]
• Randy and Evi Quaid failed to show up for a court date in California again today; extradition papers are now being prepared and the couple will be arrested if they show up in California. [Radar Online]
• A judge ruled today not to punish Picewell Forbes for causing the John Travolta extortion trial to result in a mistrial because he's been, "rightly ridiculed locally and internationally ... It is my opinion that you have suffered enough." [TMZ]
• Several people whose lawsuits against Sacha Baron Cohen and 20th Century Fox over Borat were thrown out have banded together for a single appeal. They say they were tricked into signing a release form for the film and want their case to be heard by a jury. [Daily Express]
• Mary-Kate Olsen's rep insists her boyfriend Nate Lowman didn't propose to her in Paris. "Even though this information continues to be reported as 'fact,' the stories regarding Mary-Kate being engaged are not in any way accurate," says her rep. [People]
• Jessica Simpson says of traveling for The Price of Beauty, "I couldn't have had this journey at a better time in my life, to seek out beauty, to seek out confidence and to seek out the power of a woman... It really is about who I am and what I want to become, and what's going to make the best version of myself." [People]
• "Listen, I know I'm not easy to deal with. I'm controlling, and I want everything orderly, and I need lists. My mind goes a mile a minute. I'm difficult on every single level. I'm aware that I can be annoying." — Sandra Bullock [Parade]
• Possible Lost spoilers: Executive producer Damon Lindelof says, "The decision to kill Juliet was absolutely brutal... [Carlton Cuse and I] have to really love you to give you a finale death." [N.Y. Magazine]
• Robbie Williams has pulled out of the MTV European Music Awards next week due to "scheduling conflicts." [3 am]
• In an interview that airs today on Entertainment Tonight Chaz Bono talks about his transition from being a woman to a man saying, "I always felt male ever since I was a child." [ET]
• In her first interview since being attacked at a book signing Leona Lewis said, "It could have been worse. I'm still alive. It is just something you have to deal with when you have fame and the positives far outweigh the negatives." [The Sun]
• BREAKING: Paris Hilton hates the people who robbed her house. [TMZ]
• America's Next Top Model contestant Brittany says she had no problem with Tyra Banks' "biracial" photo shoot. "I think this is one of the best shoots of the cycle. Fashion, hair, wardrobe, makeup. Everything was incredible," she says. "She was going for something that was unique and fashiony and editorial. And it was at the same time appreciating history and culture... For Hawaii, she brought up the idea of the cane-sugar factory, where tons of people immigrated from all over the place. So it's just more celebrating the biracial lines that came from this...the lineage of Hawaii." [E!]
• Calista Flockhart says she never thought the dancing baby on Ally McBeal was ridiculous. "Honestly, I was quite intrigued by it," she says. "I thought it was smart! Obviously, it was symbolic of Ally's biological clock ticking away, and I thought, what a great way to do that. I loved the fantasy sequences; I loved that we got to see her imagination come to life." [Newsweek]
• Reese Witherspoon says that, for her new Avon fragrance Bloom, "I just wanted a scent memory of my childhood in Tennessee growing up. A lot of it is white flowers and gardenias and things that I grew up in the backyard loving. Things that I smelled on my mother and my grandmother that really inspired a feeling of being back home." [People]
• Sting joked that Barack Obama may be the divine answer to the world's problems. "In many ways, he's sent from God," he said, "because the world's a mess." Someone alert Madonna that the U.S. President has stolen her thunder! [AP]
• Sting wants to stop global warming because it may be making the winter shorter. He says: "I think the winter for the psychology of people who have lived in the northern hemisphere for thousands and thousands of years is incredibly important. We need this psychological time to recharge our batteries, to rethink, to reflect. Without that I think we would probably go crazy. We need the winter, so I worry greatly about global warming. We need to do something radical to stop it." [CNN]
• Mo'Nique says she was able to play an abusive character in Precious because, "I knew Mary Jones. [The family member] was a monster to me as a child. I was excited to play that role, if that makes sense, for that story to be told. So maybe a young lady, or a young man, won't go through life having to carry it around as if you have this great secret." [WSJ]

• Jennifer Aniston has agreed to do a weekly talk show for Oprah's new cable channel, OWN. A source says:

"She is doing this for one reason only; she absolutely wants to do it.." [NY Post]

• Madonna has arrived in Malawi to visit the girls school she is building there; a groundbreaking ceremony takes place today. [AP]
• "Lindsay Lohan has a new addiction." Shopping! Specifically: Shoes. [Gatecrasher]
• Jon and Kate Gosselin's lawyers will be in court today regarding the money missing from their joint bank account. [People]
• On November 19, Rihanna will perform in a very special location: On the Oasis of the Seas, the world's largest cruise ship, operated by Royal Caribbean. Wonder if she'll sing, "Love… Exciting and new... come aboard… We're expecting you…" [USA Today]
• Courtney Love has moved to New York because her home in Malibu has been the target of raids by people claiming to be LAPD. She says: "I tried to be charming. But one of the guys points a gun at me. My daughter, Frances, ran and hid under the house." And! "My biggest problem is that I'm Courtney Love." [NY Daily News]
• Lady Gaga's dad had heart surgery on Thursday, and she's been spending time at the hospital giving him footrubs and so on. She Tweeted: "He's my hero." [Daily Express]
• Lady Gaga is a sad little Harlequin in French Vogue. [The Life Files]
• Ivanka Trump married New York Observer publisher Jared Kushner over the weekend; pic at the link. [NY Post]
• Nick Prugo, the 18-year-old suspected of stealing from Lindsay Lohan and Audrina Patridge, had his computer seized, and it shows Google searches like "can a stolen mac be traced" and "if i register a mac can it be tracked." In addition, the computer was full of searches for the addresses of a number of celebrities whose houses were burglarized and photographs of jewelry worn by those celebs. [TMZ]
• Nick Prugo's computer also had the address of Dr. 90210 (Dr. Rey), though his home was not broken into. [TMZ]
• A source says that Nick Prugo wore Paris Hilton's heels: "He could fit into her shoes… He put them on and got into a dance and said, 'Don't I look good?'" Also, the "ring leader" of this teen thief gang is Rachel Lee, 18; she's described as a kleptomaniac. [NY Post]
• Lawyers for Jennifer Lopez have sent a cease and desist letter to shut down production of a movie about her life with her first husband, waiter and model Ojani Noa. He's claiming How I Married Jennifer Lopez: The J-lo and and Ojani Noa Story is a mockumentary and "100% parody." [The Wrap]
• Emily Blunt will wear custom John Galliano when she marries John Krasinski , in case you weren't already ridiculously jealous. [Gatecrasher]
• Sean Penn is in Cuba to interview Fidel Castro for Vanity Fair. No, really. [AFP]
• Recently divorced Amy Winehouse and Blake Formerly Incarcerated have both changed their Facebook status back to married. [Telegraph]
• Morrissey collapsed on stage and was rushed to the hospital on Sunday; he's since been discharged. [Independent]
• Susan Boyle was at a soccer match on Thursday, waving a scarf over her head, and everyone saw that her pants were undone. [MSNBC Scoop]
• A song in True Blood sparked Stephen Moyer's marriage proposal to Anna Paquin. [People]
• Jackie Jackson saw his brother Michael Jackson's movie, This Is It. He says the film is "truly riveting" and: "We get a glimpse of a true genius at work." [TMZ]
• Here's a partial set list of the songs in the Michael Jackson movie. [NY Post]
• Seventy unreleased songs created by Michael Jackson after 2004 are up for grabs; Sony Music and Universal Music may bid against each other. [NY Post]
• The man who is accused of punching Leona Lewis in the face has been sanctioned under the Mental Health Act and is not fit to go to court. [The Sun]
• In the play After Miss Julie, Sienna Miller grabs the scrotum of Jonny Lee Miller. Or at least appears to. She reveals her acting secret at the link. She also admits that ex flings Jude Law and Daniel Craig — who are also on Broadway right now — have not yet come to see her play. [NY Daily News]
• By the by, Jude Law thinks it's okay to smoke in NYC bars. [Page Six]
• As for Samantha Burke, she sold baby pix and an interview about her fling with Jude Law to a Brit mag for about $300,000. [Gatecrasher]
• In this interview, Carrie Fisher touches on bipolar disorder, doing acid, Laurence Olivier, Cary Grant, and Agnes Of God. She also pulls out her iPhone and watches her audition tape for Star Wars. [The Daily Beast]
• Shauna Sand's sex tape should be out any day now, since a handwriting expert proved that she had, in fact, signed off on it. [TMZ]
• Interesting: Paul Haggis, the Oscar-winning writer-director whose credits include Crash, Million Dollar Baby and Letters From Iwo Jima, has left the Church of Scientology. In a letter, he writes that the Church's "public sponsorship of Proposition 8, a hate-filled legislation that succeeded in taking away the civil rights of gay and
  lesbian citizens of California – rights that were granted them by the
  Supreme Court of our state – shames us." [Showbiz 411]
• Patrick Swayze's widow, Lisa Niemi, will speak publicly for the first time tomorrow at a women's conference in Long Beach, CA on a panel on loss and grieving with Elizabeth Edwards and actress Susan St. James, both of whom lost children in accidents. [NY Post]
• A man named Robert George says Glee hates women. [NY Post]
• "Fatboy Slim was 'too drunk' to have a baby." [Daily Express]
• Nadya "Octomom" Suleman's Halloween costume is horrifying, but maybe not in the way you think. [NY Post]
• Andrew Lloyd Webber has been diagnosed with prostate cancer. His rep says he is "now undergoing treatment and expects to be fully back at work before the end of the year." [AP]
• James Gandolfini and Al Sharpton seem to be having a bromance. [Page Six]
• Unsolicited uterus update: Jenna Elfman talks about how her second pregnancy is harder than her first. [E!]
• In a random online poll, Twilight's Edward Cullen has been named favorite vampire. [Mirror]
• A Run-DMC musical on Broadway? It's tricky. [Gatecrasher]
• "[I was] freaking out. Dying inside. But then when the towel dropped I was like, 'fuck that.' You just have to relax, and it's just like you're taking a shower at your house. There is no one around, you are taking a shower, it's very simple. I literally took a shower the way I take a shower." — Gilles Marini, on his Sex And The City nude scene. [BlackBook]
• "I was still showing up to work but I wasn't nearly as good as I should have been. Jon and the guys said, 'Hey, you've gotta take care of this and you've gotta take care of this now.'" — Richie Sambora, on his Bon Jovi bandmates staging an intervention and urging him to enter rehab. [Daily Express]
• Q: If you could have been born in a different century, which would it be?
  A: "Roman times. You never had to leave the couch." — Ozzy Osbourne. [Telegraph]
• "The nude scenes never felt magical. They felt like a pain in the arse." — Eric Bana on The Time Traveler's Wife. [Sydney Morning Herald]
• "We didn't have trailers. That's unheard of. After Season 2, for two seasons we had a communal trailer that we all shared — me, Larry [David], Jeff [Garlin], Cheryl [Hines], any of the guests stars, we were all in the same trailer. Changing together, using the same bathroom. You think those Sex and the City girls didn't have trailers from day one? Oh yes they did!" — Susie Essman on the early days of Curb Your Enthusiasm. [Page Six]
• "I remember thinking, 'I don't know if I can do radio.' I never even listen to it. [But] There's no censorship. That's why I said yes. I couldn't imagine doing a show where I'd once again have to answer to corporate interests." — Rosie O'Donnell, on her new radio show, which she can do from home. She adds: "I don't even have a bra on! That's the best part of this job." [USA Today]
• "I take pride in saying I'm a fat girl, fabulous and thick, fluffy and tender, full and tasty. Don't it just make you happy to say that? Big from birth. Nine pounds, 13 ounces. They told my mother it was baby fat and I would grow out of it. At 41 years old, I am now 217 pounds. I didn't grow out of it. I grew into it… Am I wrong for not saying that beauty has to be blonde hair and blue eyes and a size zero? Now, that is beautiful. But beauty is also black with nappy hair, and it could be a size 52. Beauty comes in everything. It's what your eyes perceive to be beautiful. I just don't choose to buy into the foolishness of what this country says we deem is beauty. Who are you?" — Mo'Nique, who also talks about losing weight for her health, at the link. [CBS News]

Rohin Guha catches a case of the feelings when she tries to reach out to interview Mo'Nique for BlackBook and receives a quick brush-off:

After a lot of hoop-jumping, I decided to track down someone on the inside to see if Mo'Nique would open up, if not about Precious, then about her new late night talk show and other projects in the pipeline. Because just like how Christiane Amanpour's passion lies in covering turmoil in the Middle East, mine lies in chatting with thespians who act in films like Phat Girlz. Instead I got a curt response to the effect of:

Hello Rohin,

Thanks for your interest in Mo'Nique, but unfortunately, there's no interest in your publication. Thanks.

Burn! A follow-up from her camp revealed that Mo'Nique, who has landed nearly every Essence cover since time immemorial, was gunning for a cover feature, but unwilling to compromise. To which, I would've responded, "If I could, I would! And shot by Hedi Slimane, too!" But I was too busy collecting the detritus of my shattered dreams and crushed hopes to do so. I was also too busy skimming this remarkably incisive feature on the flick over at the Times.

Guha backs up her story with tons of reported links, including this detailed post fromShowbiz 411 :

One source close to the production insists that Mo'Nique asked for $100,000 at one point to show up with the rest of the cast. The last time she did any publicity for the film, which is about to be released, was last January at the Sundance Film Festival.

Apparently, too, Mo'Nique's demands have been communicated abroad, too. Foreign distributors have also balked at her demands.

At Lionsgate, a spokesperson insists this isn't true. "Mo'Nique is doing the ‘Today' show for us, she's coming to the New York Film Festival. She had scheduling conflicts for Cannes and Toronto, but she did come to the Sundance festival. We're not paying her to do anything." Calls to Mo'Nique's publicist have never been returned.

However, it's this line that interests me most:

This is really a shame, too. The 41-year-old actress and comedienne, whose real name is Monique Imes, has been one of the hardest working women in show business all her life. She currently hosts a talk show out of Atlanta on BET, and has made countless TV appearances. Her work in "Precious" as Mary, the main character's abusive mother, is revelatory. Her whole career could change overnight.

Change in what way? As was mentioned, Mo'Nique is already at the top of her game, having sped past Queens of Comedy and The Parkers to host her own talk show and become a prominent pitch woman for various companies and health initiatives targeting the black community.

Perhaps the answer to Guha's question lies in the NYT Magazine article she lauds as "incisive" at the end of her post. There, the reporter explains:

Mo'Nique wasn't in town to talk about "Precious." She recently signed a multimillion-dollar deal with BET (Black Entertainment Television) to do a nightly 11 p.m. talk show, and she had back-to-back interviews for five days to promote it. Although there have been published reports that she will not support "Precious" by going to film festivals unless she's paid a steep fee, Mo'Nique seems unequivocally devoted to Daniels.

Perhaps Mo'Nique is just living by the old adage "time is money."

Is 'Precious' Mo'Nique Sabotaging Her Career? [BlackBook]
'Precious' Actress Mo'Nique: Show Me The Money [Showbiz 411]
The Audacity of Precious [NYT]

I want to be clear about some things up front. While I am familiar with the plot and premise of the book, I have not read Sapphire's Push, the book the film is based on, and I have not yet seen Precious. By next week, I will have done both.

However, I have been following the coverage of the film since Sundance, ever since Postbourgie contributor SLB wrote a post called "Reveling in Bleakness" detailing her personal feelings about the novel. Following the conversation on Postbourgie, and our conversation on Racialicious, I realized that a lot of what has been written isn't so much about the issues discussed in the film, but our perceptions of race, class, pathology, and stereotypes.

Claudia, a commenter at PostBourgie, neatly summarized quite a few of the reactions:

Has anyone else here read Percival Everett's Erasure?

If not, I highly recommend it. My understanding is that some of the satire and criticism in Everett's book were inspired by Push. I am as undecided as many of the previous comments on the wisdom of bringing this work to the big screen. Generally, though, I tend to side with Everett's view in questioning who exactly benefits from such deeply painful cautionary tales of black life. We most definitely shouldn't shy away from black hardship and the real-life stories of suffering. But I wonder if novels like Push, that offer an almost hyper-real simulation of reality – what do they ultimately achieve?

Ironically, I remember back when folks had some of the same issues with the film version of The Color Purple, and I am a huge admirer of the book and the movie. So I probably need to think this through a little more (smile).

Lola, commenting at Racialicious, simply wrote:

I can't read things like this. They hurt to much, it is too personal.

The conversation, however, quickly took a familiar turn. How do we articulate our personal truth if our words and lives are filtered, pushed through a majority lens, and regurgitated as stereotypes?

cocomala:

yes, but why it then that our media is so obsessed with the negative portrayals of black women and men? why should this story get the greenlight?

where are the counterbalancing roles in movies starring black women who achieve success and satisfaction due to community/ parental guidance, love and care? where are any movies starring black women in positive roles this year? Okay, Cadillac Records, um Good Hair is coming out… oh, The Secret Life of Bees…anything else? …maybe The Family that Preys…

atlasien:

In a lot of movies, I think black women's suffering is pushed off to the sidelines or used just to underline the experience of a white heroine. So I can see how a movie where that suffering is made absolutely central and really extreme could possibly represent a welcome break from a stereotype… even if it's also incredibly depressing.

yesand...:

I don't know if I'm as worried about it being sanitized as I am about it black suffering being fetishized by a white audience, due to this "white guilt" that is (apparently) providing all the "hope" (money) to get these stories to the mainstream. [...]

For the black community, these kinds of narratives are for feeling a sense of collective struggle, a sense of identification in a world that seems hopeless. For (privileged) whites, it's about living the fantasy of a "just world" that is independent of their behavior, which alleviates their guilt and justifies passivity and the status quo. This is why I am not so happy about all of this paternalistic coziness with the "black" struggle all of a sudden. It reeks of fetish, it reeks of self-serving smugness. It doesn't really look like understanding to me.

Rchoudh:

While it's good to show both negative and positive descriptions of life within all communities, American films have a tendency to show both positive and negative descriptions of white American life. For every depressing story about white America you have in films like Revolutionary Road, you get many more fun-filled humorous stories in rom-coms like He's just not that into you and so forth. There's no such balance like this when it comes to stories depicting POC characters. While you have an overwhelming number of negative descriptions you have a dearth of positive descriptions where POC's play the main characters and where their positive stories become crossover successes with all audiences, whites included. I think that's why I'm reluctant to see yet another depressing movie starring POC's.

Browne:

Of course this is going to get funded. It's poverty, racially charged porn.

People watch these movies and it makes it seem that everyone who is poor has these insanely horrible lives and the poverty is owing only to these horrible parents and a horrible unsupportive community.

It's too damn easy.

I would like to see the character who plays Precious being cast as a normal teenager. That would be ground breaking, this is not groundbreaking from what I've seen. I know what's it is going to be and I don't look forward to it.

It's not about me wanting something to be positive, but I don't want my race to be used to make a point. While this is a movie about class, no one is going to see it that way it's going to be seen as a slice of black life and that's why I don' t like it.

Ultimately, there were some 130 comments debating the film.

I'll be curious to see what people say in the comments on the NY Times' website. Reading through the paper's new Sunday Magazine cover story, "The Audacity of Precious," my feeling of discomfort grew and grew. By the end of the six page feature, I started to feel that the writer, Lynn Hirschberg, was less interested in talking about a movie and more interested in observing the interesting "other." How did I know that this sentence...

He was dressed unremarkably in a loose, untucked shirt and slouchy khaki pants, but his hair, an electric corona of six-inch fusilli-like spirals, demanded notice.

...would lead to this one?

"I decided I should cut my hair," Daniels said, running his hand over his closely cropped head. The dreadlocks were gone. Daniels no longer looks like a wild child, but older, more sober.

Or phrases like:

Yet the movie is not neutral on the subject of race and the prejudices that swirl around it, even in the supposedly postracial age of Obama.

And:

Like the Jewish immigrants who created the movie business in Hollywood, Daniels has the will and the perspective of an outsider.

This one was particularly interesting, as Lee Daniel's isn't quite an outsider. He's been working in the business since 1983, and his former partner and father of his children is Billy Hopkins, an A-list casting director. Perhaps Daniels still feels like an outsider, but from reading the full piece, I feel like the writer was trying to play up as many differences as she could, providing a voyeuristic view of Daniels and the film's other main players.

Both Daniels and actress/comedian Mo'Nique say that part of them gravitated to the film because of their own histories with abuse by family members. (Also, despite prominently displaying the other lead actress, Gabourey Sidibe, on the cover, the article barely mentions her.) When the NYT's Hirshberg asks Mo'Nique to discuss the part, she responds:

In part, Mo'Nique was intrigued by the role of Mary Jones because, she says, she was abused by a brother when she was a young girl. The abuse supposedly began when Mo'Nique was 7 and continued for four years. "We wanted people to see the illness," Mo'Nique explained. "Lee said, be a monster. And my brother was that monster to me. When Lee said, ‘Action,' that's who I became."

However, there isn't much discussion about the issues of literacy, obesity, incest, HIV/AIDS or Down's Syndrome in the article. Abuse only merits three small paragraphs. While Precious puts forth an array of issues, these are not engaged with by the reviewers. Is it because of the heaviness of the subject matter? Perhaps. But I find it interesting that I have seen more discussion of Mariah Carey appearing without make-up than any discussion of the underlying issues in the film. However, in the NYT piece, the director, Lee Daniels, makes a lot of interesting admissions:

"As African-Americans, we are in an interesting place," Daniels said. "Obama's the president, and we want to aspire to that. But part of aspiring is disassociating from the face of Precious. To be honest, I was embarrassed to show this movie at Cannes. I didn't want to exploit black people. And I wasn't sure I wanted white French people to see our world." He paused. "But because of Obama, it's now O.K. to be black. I can share that voice. I don't have to lie. I'm proud of where I come from. And I wear it like a shield. ‘Precious' is part of that."

"I am so used to having two faces," he said, as if to explain his theatrical shifts in mood. "A face that I had for black America and a face for white America. When Obama became president, I lost both faces. Now I only have one face. But old habits die hard, and sometimes I can't remember who I'm supposed to be."

"I knew killers. My uncle, who took care of me, murdered people, and yet he took care of me too. People who have gone to jail for murder are also human. Black people are not all saints."

"My sister was an obese crack addict," Daniels said. "She had a chicken wing in one hand and a crack pipe in the other, and yet she had a line of white men waiting for her.

"Even the most evil person was somebody's baby at one time. And that's where life is lived. I've never been that comfortable with black and white."

To be honest, I'm not quite sure what to make of Lee Daniels, with the multiple references to Obama and the chicken/crack pipe comment. I started to get the impression from the article that he believes he is representing blackness - and from the readers comments at Racialicious and Postbourgie, this is the epitome of what many do not want the audience to walk away with. Also, Daniels comments seem to reveal a lot of personal shame and struggle wrapped up in race, so much so that discussions of class or cycles of poverty and abuse were completely overshadowed.

Is the goal here to tell a story? To illuminate systemic issues? Or to put forth a new view on blackness?

I am not sure, and I don't think I will ever be. Movies are subjective things, and are highly subject to the viewers interpretation. So even if Daniels' intended the movie to be a portrait of black like that isn't part of the "Huxtable/Cosby world," is that how the audience will interpret it?

Still, I look forward to seeing the film, and this statement, also from Daniels, explains why:

People read so much into ‘Precious.' But at the end, it's just this girl, and she's trying to live. I know this chick. You know her. But we just choose not to know her."

Precious [Official Site]
The Audacity Of Precious [NY Times]
Reveling In Bleakness. [Postbourgie]
Reveling In Bleakness [Racialicious]

• Kate Gossselin will be going after Jon Gosselin for "raiding" their joint bank account.

Apparently there's a court order prohibiting Jon or Kate from withdrawing any money from the account without he consent of both parties; yet Jon's taken $200,00 out. [TMZ]

• Kate Gosselin's lawyer says: "If the money is not immediately returned, we will be looking into potential claims against [Jon's lawyer] if he had any involvement with the violation of the court order… It is very disappointing that Jon Gosselin has escalated this to such an ugly place." [Radar Online, TMZ]
• Jon Gosselin's attorney, Mark Heller, was once suspended from practicing law for five years due to "professional misconduct." This was between 1994 and 1999. [Radar Online]
• BREAKING: Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt took Knox and Vivi out in public! They visited a gelato store in Amman, Jordan! Pix at the link! ZOMG TWINZZZ. [Daily Mail]
• Even before David Letterman became involved with staffer Stephanie Birkitt, he had a "secret affair" with intern Holly Hester in the '90s, and his relationship with personal assistant Laurie Diamond is described as "particularly flirtatious." In addition, a source says: "Dave has a great track record of promoting women on the show — three of the five executive producers are women, and all of them have been with him for more than 20 years." [NY Post]
• Simon Cowell's 50th birthday party at sprawling estate Wrotham Park featured a huge image of Simon's smirking face, projected on an outside wall of the mansion; waiters wearing masks of Simon's face; a performance by Earth, Wind and Fire; and burlesque dancers, who whipped Ryan Seacrest. [NY Post]
• Miley Cyrus had to cancel a concert over the weekend because she is still battling strep throat. [UPI]
• Penelope Cruz and Javier Bardem: Engaged. Supposedly. [Rush & Molloy]
• Elton John and David Furnish are still hoping to adopt. They'll have to put the Ukrainian toddler Elton fell in love with out of their minds, however: Furnish says, "When we found out he had a maternal grandmother, and brother and sister, we realized it wouldn't be the right thing to take him away from the family he had there. We would love to adopt Lev, but that does not seem possible under Ukrainian rules." [Daily Express]
• The mother of the toddler Elton John wanted to adopt says she will not give her kid up; the boy is in a children's home because she's an alcoholic and he was taken by social workers. [The Sun]
• "Switzerland would have arrested film director Roman Polanski on earlier visits to the country if justice authorities had been aware of his presence, a Swiss minister said in an interview published on Sunday." [Reuters]
• Precious got a standing ovation at the New York Film Festival over the weekend; Roger Friedman writes: "Expect Oscar nominations for Best Picture, Director, Adapted Screenplay, Actress (Gabby Sidibe), and one or more Supporting Actresses (Mariah, Mo'Nique)." [Showbiz 411]
• The problem with Precious? Mo'nique did not show up for the NYFF, just as she "ditched" her promotional duties during the Toronto Film Festival. [Gatecrasher]
• John Travolta testified that his son was autistic, which is in conflict with Scientology's "unofficial position" on the condition. But, this report claims, Travolta remains "firmly committed" to the Church. [TMZ]
• A DNA test has confirmed that Jude Law is indeed the father of Samantha Burke's baby. This paper calls Jude and Samantha's relationship "a brief love affair," but weren't you under the impression it was a one night stand? [Daily Express]
• Jenna Fischer's on the cover of Shape doing the classic Shape pose: Standing in water in a bikini. [JustJared]
• Chris Noth: Engaged. [People]
• A Facebook campaign has helped get an indie film starring Harry Potter redhead Rupert Grint get a distribution deal in Britain. Grint plays a Northern Irish teenager who takes drugs… and is featured in intimate bedroom scenes. In other words: Not Ron Weasely. [Gatecrasher]
• At the link, the Seinfeld cast spills about the Seinfeld reunion on Curb Your Enthusiasm. Jason Alexander, aka George Costanza, says: "It was so bizarre, I can't even describe it. It negated the idea that time had passed at all, and I was actually grateful that some of the elements of the apartment set were different, [so] it wasn't a complete mindfuck." [EW's Hollywood Insider]
• At a party in LA, Family Guy's Seth MacFarlane put the moves on Dianna Agron, aka Quinn Fabray from Glee. She wasn't interested. [Gatecrasher]
• Shia LaBeouf blatantly checks out hot chicks even when his girlfriend, Carey Mulligan, is right next to him. [Gatecrasher]
• Madonna's daughter Lourdes Leon wants to be an actress when she grows up. Do you think she's seen Swept Away ? [Daily Mail]
• Russell Crowe is in Robin Hood and is taking the character to heart: He got filmmakers to gift a £60,000 prop — a battering ram — to extras on his film, who are in a battle re-enactment group. [Daily Express]
• Beer and doughnut loving Homer Simpson in an anti-obesity campaign sponsored by the Department of Health?!?! [Mirror]
• "Housewife Kandi Burruss Devastated By Fiancé's Death."[People]
• In this piece, Vince Vaughn plays shrink and diagnoses the four couples from Couples Retreat, which he co-wrote and produced. [USA Today]
• On Carrie Fisher's Wishful Drinking: "hilariously perceptive journey" "chock-full of funny, fascinating tales." [AP]
• "Drinking is a perfectly pleasant trifle - nothing that requires or inspires great emotional commitment, but fine for a one-night stand." [USA Today]
• James Blunt has been dumped. [Daily Express]
• Candy Spelling had neck surgery and is currently in a full-body cast. [TMZ]
• As mentioned last week, Quentin Tarantino has confirmed that he will be making a third Kill Bill movie. [Variety]
• Q: I heard a rumor that you run on a treadmill in heels and sing. A: "[Laughs] No, I don't run on a treadmill in heels. That's a bit extreme. But I do practice my choreography in heels. And I have a rule that when I have my heels on, everyone has to have their heels on too. Sometimes the dancers are like, 'Oh, God, we hope Beyonce comes in late,' because I'll go all day. And in the end, I'll have blisters and my toes will have bruises. It's really hard sometimes. I still do all the boring things that everyone else does in regular workouts like squats and the treadmill. But I mainly get in shape from doing the choreography during those long 12-hour rehearsals for two months before a tour." — Beyoncé. [Reuters]
• "I'd like to get involved in videogames since I really love Wii Fit. I think it would be a great idea to incorporate choreography because for me my workout is way more fun when it involves dancing as opposed to running on a boring treadmill. So I would love to do some kind of fitness game but incorporate dance and performance into it. I think a lot of women would enjoy that." — Beyoncé. [Reuters]
• "When he walked on the stage I was like no, no, no! I knew his intentions and I knew he was standing up for art… [In the end] Taylor Swift had her moment and I didn't have to give an acceptance speech!" Beyoncé on the Kanye/VMA incident. [Mirror]
• "We mutually decided to cancel the tour. He's going to take some time off, but I'm not. Kanye and I talked about it. We talked about it a lot, as well as with Live Nation…" — Lady Gaga, who has just announced a solo tour now that the "Fame Kills" tour with Kanye West has been canceled. [Variety]
• "We're calling it a ‘vacation.' He's going away to get things sorted out." — a "source" on Kanye West possibly going to rehab. [MSNBC Scoop]
• "I went to the doctor and had an AIDS test and he told me it was positive. That was one of the worst days of my life." — Ozzy Osbourne, who did another HIV test, which came back negative. [Telegraph]
• "For the first time in my life I'm legal to drive — so watch out." — Ozzy Osbourne, who passed his driving test after the 19th attempt. [The Sun]
• "It was the most physical pain I've ever experienced. There was crying. But then you'd feel so good about falling and then getting back up and doing it again… I've never been to an overnight camp, but it felt like what I imagine that to be. Drew was just one of the girls. We'd skate and then go to the break room and talk about boys. She makes everyone feel like the most important person in the room." — Ari Graynor, aka Eva Destruction, on making Whip It. [NY Mag]
• "I know you're supposed to tell kids not to do drugs, but, kids, do it! Do weed! Don't do the other stuff, but weed is good… What you want to do is what I did, build a movie empire and, at age 38, smoke it all away." — Kevin Smith. [Page Six]
• "It is kind of disturbing, but so is putting yourself out there as far as relationships or friendships goes. It is scary and sometimes you are taking a risk. If you aren't prepared to do that you're going to have very safe options in your life, but they won't be the most exciting ones." — Anna Paquin, on vampire/human relationships in True Blood. [Telegraph]

• Jon Gosselin is demanding TLC stop filming Jon and Kate. He posted a sign on his gate reading, "NOTICE: NO FILM CREW OR PRODUCTION STAFF FROM TLC IS PERMITTED ON THIS PROPERTY UNDER PENELTY [sic] OF TRESPASS. JOHNATHON [sic] GOSSELIN"

• Last week Jon was fine with his kids filming, but now that he's been dropped from Kate Plus 8 he suddenly doesn't want his kids to be on camera. [TMZ]
• Jon Gosselin's manager, Mike Heller, told Perez Hilton: "Jon Gosselin is the new David and TLC is the new Goliath. Jon is empowered by his new attorney, Mark Jay Heller, to take back control of his family. Even if it means the revenue stream will be cut off. Jon's priority is family not money. THIS IS NOT A NEGOTIATION TACTIC TO get more money from TLC. We are completely cutting ties with TLC. This is something that he has been trying to do for a while now." [Perez Hilton]
• TLC responded: "We are aware of Jon Gosselin's recent statements, and remain deeply disappointed at his continued erratic behavior. He and the family were shooting as recently as last Friday, without incident, and his latest comments are grossly inaccurate, without merit and are clearly opportunistic... Despite Jon Gosselin's repeated self destructive and unprofessional actions, he remains under an exclusive contract with TLC. Direct filming of the children has been currently suspended, pending further conversations between both parents." [People]
• Kate Gosselin is similarly disappointed in Jon. She says: "I'm saddened and confused by Jon's public media statements. Jon has never expressed any concerns to me about our children being involved in the show and, in fact, is on the record as saying he believes the show benefits our children and was taping on Friday with the kids. I check in regularly with each of the kids to be sure they want to participate in and continue with the show and will continue to do so..." [People]
• Michael Lohan has weighed in on the matter saying, "All I can tell you from my conversation with him two days ago is that he does want to pursue the Divorced Dads Club... Michael Heller, he and I represent Jon on a business level, wants him to do the show. Mark is trying to get him out of the TLC contract so he can." [Radar Online]
• Sources from both sides are explaining what's really going on... or rather, their version of events. TLC sources say Jon Gosselin wanted off the show so the network offered to give him his full paycheck and take him off Jon and Kate Plus 8. But they wouldn't let Jon do any other reality show, which Jon found unacceptable. His lawyer threatened to shut down production by claiming the show wasn't good for the kids. Jon sources say the kids really have been complaining about the show, and that the show being renamed Kate Plus 8 means they'll have to be on camera a lot more to fill the void left by Jon. [TMZ]
• The most shocking thing about Michael Jackson's autopsy? He was actually pretty healthy. His heart and other organs were strong and functioning normally and at 136 lbs he was in the acceptable weight range for a 5-foot-9 man. He had arthritis in his lower back and some fingers and his lungs were chronically inflamed and had reduced capacity, but his lung condition wasn't serious enough to contribute to his death. As this is MJ, there has to be something odd: He had tattooed on eyeliner, eyebrows, and lipliner and covered a bald spot with a tattoo from ear to ear. [AP, The Telegraph]
• In a new interview with Britain's Channel 4, La Toya Jackson says that in the hospital after Michael Jackson died, Paris told her, "The cardiologist was the best, so how could this happen? What happened is they worked him too hard. He never got the chance to rest. It was non-stop work." La Toya continues, "She said, 'No, you don't understand. They kept working him and Daddy didn't want that, but they worked him constantly'. I felt so bad." [The Mirror]
• Michael Bearden, the musical director for Michael Jackson's "This Is It" tour, says the coroner's finding prove that the allegations Michael was too weak to perform weren't true and he was definitely up for performing 50+ concerts. [TMZ]
• The Jackson kids spent time with their longtime nanny, Grace Rwaramba, yesterday. [TMZ]
• Emma Watson was "quite shaken" when a group of students from the Harvard Voice stalked her at a Harvard-Brown football game. They Tweeted the progress of their "stalking mission" and posted a picture of her, calling it a "success." [Extra]
• The Voice says that their Emma Watson-stalking live blog was a "parody." The magazine responded to complaints left on their website writing, "There seems to be much ado about nothing over this photo and liveblog. Understand that these live tweets were made to be intentionally outrageous and overblown." [People]
• Could a prenup put an end to Kevin Jonas' plans to marry Danielle Deleasa? She hasn't signed yet and is reportedly taking time to come "to terms with the request." [Perez Hilton]
• Ashlee Simpson-Wentz and Colin Egglesfield got "touchy-feely" between filming scenes on Melrose Place. Watch out Pete, a source says she was even doing the "hair flip thing!" [Star]
• David Copperfield wants a judge to temporarily shelve a personal injury lawsuit filed by a woman who says he sexually assaulted her on his private island because Department of Justice prosecutors are already investigating the case. [The Smoking Gun]
• Ryan Jenkins' father has hired a private investigator because he refuses to believe that his son killed Jasmine Fiore. He says, "We just want the truth to be told ... It is just unfathomable to us that he could be responsible for anything that has been reported." [TMZ]
• John Travolta's lawer Michael McDermott testified today that the plot to blackmail Travolta was hatched because one of the defendants was star struck. McDermott says paramedic Tarino Loightbourne kept the document instead of turning it in because it was singed by a celebrity and he thought it was evidence that Travolta had either killed his son or recognized he was negligent in his death. [TMZ]
• Dennis Hopper's manager says he's "feeling much better" after checking into the hospital yesterday. He had severe flulike symptoms and was treated for dehydration. [AP]
• Randy and Evi Quaid's former private investigator claims that they scammed an 87-year-old lady named Lois. She says, "Lois worked out an agreement with Randy and Evi that they would rent her mobile home for $1,000 a month... But they never paid her and they left her place a disaster. To take advantage of an 87-year-old lady who trusted them like that is really sad." [Radar Online]
• Top Chef host Padma Lakshmi is pregnant. Her rep says, "she is carrying her first child after years of struggling with endometriosis, a cause for which she has co-founded the Endometriosis Foundation of America. As a result of her condition, this pregnancy has been referred to by her physician as nothing short of a medical miracle, and due to its delicate nature, we ask/implore the press to respect Ms. Lakshmi's privacy at this time." [Us]
• Flavor Flav dropped out of high school in 10th grade and now he's shopping a reality show about going back to school. So basically this will be a Strangers With Candy reality show. [Hollywood Reporter]
• Bethenny Frankel is getting her own reality show. It doesn't have a title yet but "will showcase her career as a natural foods chef, as well as the Gotham socialite's love life." [N.Y. Magazine]
• Intrawest, which operates nine ski resorts including the one Natasha Richardson died at six months ago, will implement a new rule this season, recommending that all skiers and snowboarders wear helmets. [AP]
• A preliminary hearing in the Anna Nicole Smith drug case against Howard K. Stern will be held on October 13. [TMZ]
• Ryan Seacrest hit on Madonna on his radio show today and she told him he's "too old" for her. She says she's dating a 22-year-old because, "Younger people are more adventurous. Have you met many guys my age? They're usually grumpy and fat and balding." She says as long as men are "old enough to dress themselves" she'll date them. She adds, "My body is a part of my job. I look in the mirror and say "more work.....less cake, more work." On the topic of Kanye West she says he's "impulsive" and that she wants to "give him a good talking to" because "he needs to put a lid on it." Finally she explains that she didn't notice Ryan in the front row of her concert because Jennifer Lopez was giving her "sharp looks." [KIISFM]
• Michael Bay announced on his website today that Transformers 3 will come out a year earlier than expected and wrote in a postscript (that came before his signature for some reason) "P.S. Megan Fox, welcome back. I promise no alien robots will harm you in any way during the production of this motion picture. Please consult your Physician when working under my direction because some side effects can occur, such as mild dizziness, intense nausea, suicidal tendencies, depression, minor chest hair growth, random internal hemorrhaging and inability to sleep. As some directors may be hazardous to your health, please consult your Doctor to determine if this is right for you." [N.Y. Magazine]
• Kevin Smith has compiled transcripts from his podcast into the book Shooting the Shit: The Best of SModcast. He says, "I don't feel like an author most days. John Grisham is an author. John Grisham sits down and is like, 'All right, I'm gonna write a story about this shit and it's gonna happen in Memphis and involve a couple lawyers, as per usual.' That's an author. I'm like, at best, a backdoor author. That sounds very homoerotic, but it's not gay porn - it's backdoor, man. I didn't intend for it to happen, I didn't go through the front door." [N.Y. Magazine]
• Drew Barrymore says of Whip It, "I didn't want it to be just another chick flick. I wanted it to stay true to girl empowerment. I wanted to make something that was also irreverent and relevant for boys. I wanted it to be emotional and yet romantic and also have action and have girls doing things you'd normally see boys do. That wasn't easy." [Reuters]
• Mo'Nique has done almost no press for Precious despite the fact that people are saying she's a possible Oscar nominee. Now her publicist of two weeks has quit and Mo'Nique is refusing to show up to the New York Film Festival on Saturday. [Showbiz 411]
• Mariah Carey has finally overcome her debilitating left side insecurity and is now allowing people to photograph either side of her face. She says, "I don't feel like, 'Oh, I have to be on this side, or I have to be on this side' — I really had specific things that someone told me when I was 19 starting in the business and I listened to them ... I don't care anymore. Sometimes I like that [left] side — and Nick likes that side better anyway." [Us]

She's talking, of course, about her character in Precious. The buzz for the film, which won the Grand Jury Prize at this year's Sundance Film Festival, is growing, but the subject matter — abuse, HIV, teen pregnancy — do make the movie tough to talk about. And then there's what is, by all accounts, a harrowing, realistic performance by newcomer Gabourey Sidibe.

Sidibe, according to director Lee Daniels and others, is poised and confident — yet she plays a character who is anything but. W's Kevin West writes:

"She has a boyfriend, does her thing and conducts herself like a lady," Daniels says, underscoring the vast gulf between Sidibe as a person and the fictional creation that is Precious. "Precious's character is something we worked very hard to create." And yet Sidibe's screen debut is so painfully detailed that, as Mo'Nique points out, it can sometimes feel like a real person living her life in front of a documentary camera.

Of course, it's not a documentary, but a film that promises to be very moving. Mo'Nique remembers being at Sundance when the film screened, and says: "None of those people looked like us. And it was mind-blowing when it was over, to have white men in their 60s coming up to us, crying. It killed the myth. It killed the myth that a white man couldn't possibly enjoy two big black women onscreen."

Precious Mettle [W]

• Lindsay Lohan thew a fit at the G-Star runway show:

She arrived with sister Ali in tow, wouldn't pose for photos and didn't like her seats. So, naturally, she threw the seating cards for Juliette Lewis, Christian Siriano, and Taylor Momsen on the floor. When event producers tried to approach her, she sniped, "Don't fucking touch me," and rolled her eyes. Of course, I found pix of her posing so grain of salt. [Page Six]

• Mischa Barton was at the G-star after party, drunk and saying "Like, I'm with the deejay. I totally know the deejay. I'm here for the deejay." [Page Six]
• Kanye West and Lady Gaga were supposed to start a Fame Kills tour later this fall, but it looks like Kanye may have been serious about taking some time off: Tour date listings have been removed from the Ticketmaster website. [LA Times]
• Pink has a separated shoulder! "It hurts," she says. She couldn't do any of the aerial parts of her trapeze-oriented show in Seattle on Tuesday night, but won't cancel tour dates. [People]
• Katie Holmes took Suri to Beyoncé's concert in Australia on Tuesday night, and Suri wore "industrial earmuffs." [News.com.au]
• Jennifer Lopez was spotted at the White House "with an entourage bigger than President Obama's Secret Service detail." [NY Daily News]
• Chris Brown's community service has begun; click for a pic of him in an orange vest. He doesn't seem too… contrite; he Tweeted, "check out my outfit." [Ny Daily News]
• Why haven't we seen Mo'Nique promoting new film Precious? She will be on the Today show this morning, but she wasn't at the Toronto Film festival (Mariah Carey, Gabby Sidibe, Sherri Shephard, and Paula Patton were there) and rumors are that she wants to be paid for appearances. A studio spokesperson says it isn't true. [Showbiz 411]
• Charlize Threron is naked in the opening scene of her new film, The Burning Plain but says: "I'm not some exhibitionist. I think people think I just love walking around naked. When you start making it about yourself, you stand in the way of doing your job. I have to sit in an editing room with [director] Guillermo Arriaga and a bunch of execs, and if I had to sit there and think about myself and these men watching me, I think that would make me insecure. I'm just like every other girl out there. I would cringe." And: "There was a time in my life where I understood actors who said they don't like watching themselves. But when I made the mental switch that I was not watching myself and watching an actual character, that was the day I actually could look at things from a distance." [USA Today]
• "The uncle Desperate Housewives star Teri Hatcher helped put behind bars for molesting two girls has died in prison." [Daily Express]
• Sean Penn and beyond foxy Sports Illustrated model Jessica White: "Together all the time." [NY Daily News]
• Jason Schwartzman's new HBO show, Bored To Death, his most high-profile roles ever. Although he also loves books and music, acting gives him focus: "When I all of sudden became a part of Rushmore, it was like a giant acupuncture needle or something. It just put everything in line for me. It was like going to the emotional chiropractor. I was so disjointed as a teenager, from being unpopular or from being not the guy that girls liked - just feeling like an outsider, just being a dork." [AP]
• Nicole Kidman will star in The Danish Girl, about the first man to undergo a sex-change operation in 1931. I know it's early but I have to say that I'm sort of scared about the medical technology back then and its proximity to genitalia. [NY Daily News]
• Bruce Willis and wife: Moving into L.A.'s new Carlyle Residences, where apartments go for $2.9-$15 million. The new pad has a private wine cellar and elevator. [E!]
• Rod Stewart's son Sean was a riding in a $200,000 Bentley on Sunset Boulevard in L.A. when his friend wrecked the car. Sean was renting it from Beverly Hills Rent-A-Car for $2,500 a day. [TMZ]
• Jasmine Guy: Deep in debt, thanks to a divorce. In related news, she has joined the cast of the new CW show Vampire Diaries as the GRANDMOTHER of one of the characters. A different world, indeed. [TMZ, Buddy TV]
• Director Jane Campion got an admiring letter from Quentin Tarantino about her latest effort, Bright Star. "It was a love letter, really, about the film," she says. "I am really touched. He is one of my biggest heroes of the current generation, I think he is a genius so it was surprising." Asked about what it takes to make movies likes hers, Campion said with a smile: "I am not very submissive." [Reuters]
• Joe Francis tried to crash a party being thrown by Frankie Delgado but was thrown out, mostly because Frankie is bff with Brody Jenner and Brody and Joe had a scuffle a couple of weeks ago. Related: I don't care about any of these people. [E!]
• "Fuming Barbra Streisand fans claim she rigged a 'cute pet competition.' so one of her friends could win priceless tickets to her upcoming Village Vanguard show." [Page Six]
• Burt Reynolds, who just went into rehab, is already out, it seems. [Reuters, Mirror]
• Jon Bon Jovi totally understands why former members of Nirvana are upset about Kurt Cobain's character in Guitar Hero 5 being able to play songs by other bands in the game. "I don't know that I would have wanted it either. To hear someone else's voice coming out of a cartoon version of me? I don't know. It sounds a little forced." [BBC News]
• "Paul McCartney topped a poll of Americans' favorite Beatles, but nearly a quarter of those surveyed said they didn't like the British rock group." [Reuters]
• Katie "Jordan" Price named her celebrity rapist on camera but "terrified" lawyers banned his identity from being broadcast. [The Sun]
• Q. After you dropped out of school at 16, you were a drummer in a punk rock band. What was that like? "It was a wild time. It involved a lot of drinking and fighting, but I'm not sure if I was being a punk rocker or just Scottish." — Craig Ferguson. [USA Today]
• "She looked like Rachel Zoe gone horribly wrong! It proves the point that you can judge a person by the company they keep- or don't keep. "It's painfully apparent that Jesus may be able to turn water into wine, but your basic blow dryer eludes him." — Madonna's brother, Christopher Ciccone, on his sister's look at the VMAs. [E!]
• Q. Did you really write the book's first chapter on your iPhone? "I actually did. I was amazed it had this little keyboard in it. I'm a techno-moron and it had this keyboard that spellchecked as you wrote. It was a good way to start writing the novel because I wasn't taking it seriously, I was just checking out my phone. The rest I wrote by hand." — Nick Cave on his second novel, The Death of Bunny Munro. [Time]
• "It's always so hard for me to describe a film I'm in, as it's so subjective. It's about a lot of different people living in Paris, and a mix of many sides of life, not all happy ones. If you don't go to the bottom, you don't know what joy is, and to explore life you have to plunge head first and take risks. And the way we're brought up with this whole view of life as black and white, good and bad, is completely false, because in life everything is transformable, and something bad can actually be very good, and vice versa. So it's about all those ideas." — Juliette Binoche on her new film, Paris. [Reuters]
• "Yeah. But I don't want to elaborate. I would never call myself a cutter. Girls go through different phases when they're growing up, when they're miserable and do different things, whether it's an eating disorder or they dabble in cutting… I never think I'm worthy of anything... I have a sick feeling of being mocked all the time. I have a lot of self-loathing." — Megan Fox to Rolling Stone, when asked if she had ever cut herself. [NY Daily News]
• "I made my wife appreciate it. She was a good sport. I paraded around. I loved my body. I walked around, danced — dancing with a belly like that was fun. My stepdaughter loved it, too. She kept poking me in the stomach, laughing." — Matt Damon on gaining 30 pounds for The Informant!. [USA Today]
• "Jennifer is one of the coolest women I've ever met. She's so smart." — Gerard Butler on Ms. Aniston. [MSNBC Scoop via Us Weekly]