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For Love Or Money: Is It Cool To Hide Cash From Your Partner?
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Green Goth Brit Chick - AlternatEve
04/28/09

In reply to For Love Or Money: Is It Cool To Hide Cash From Your Partner?
Wow, and I was pissed when RBS gave the fiance access to my account via internet banking (it linked the account to our joint current and savings, so when he logs in using *his* details, he can see *my* account that's only in my name - I was NOT impressed) and it's at its OD limit (which he already knew about).
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hippichx sez PEACE PLEASE
04/27/09

In reply to For Love Or Money: Is It Cool To Hide Cash From Your Partner?
i don't get it... what is it to the husband if she's got bank? doesn't change anything. i keep my money separate. doesn't mean it is MY money, i still consider it joint money, but we are each responsible for the funds we bring in. makes sense.
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Gretchen is a new kitten mom!
04/27/09

In reply to For Love Or Money: Is It Cool To Hide Cash From Your Partner?
I don't see why a person shouldn't keep a separate account as long as they are contributing to the household equally with their partner.

I've been in a marriage where my ex kept his money and didn't pay for one stinking bag of groceries. He spent his cash however he liked and I was stuck paying all our bills and expenses. I made half of what he did.

This time around Mr. G and I agreed to have joint accounts all the way, except for anything we made before our marriage. I did have a nice little sum that I earned from some pricey little gigs and a couple of recordings that I kept separate for a few years. I ended up closing the account and using that money as part of our down payment on our first home. He didn't ask me to do it, but I wanted to.

I hope she sues. And I would have NEVER given that whining douche 155k to save that marriage. I would have kicked his sorry ass to the curb.
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ZemarSea Urchin
04/27/09

In reply to For Love Or Money: Is It Cool To Hide Cash From Your Partner?
Seperate accounts are an excellent idea. Lets say you get married and have kids, your husband runs off with all the money in your shared account and his new lady friend. Now if you didn't have that secret account you have kids and no money (no money for legal recourse and ya better hope that house wasn't in his name). That is not so helpful. But if you have that secret money well everything is gonna be fine. Or lets say you shack up and open a joint account and SO runs off and takes the money too, or has a gambling problem you didn't know about and takes all that joint account money. Guess what? If you don't have that secret account you got squat. These are just a few incidents that came to mind. Love and money are not natural friends. Money and common sense and honesty are not natural friends. If your in a LTR have a joint account for household needs and keep YOUR own money out of reach of your SO. Love doesn't gaurentee happily ever after and only hindsight is 20/20. Also that bank owes the lady. What right do they have alerting another of a client account. Wether it was her husband or not is moot. If his name isn't on the account then it is none of his business. It's not the 50's.
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hello.kitty
04/27/09

@ZemarSea Urchin: Yes, I have watched four marriages crumble in the last two decades and I've seen how the women have ended up with the 'short end', even when they were the primary income earner.

Separate accounts--yes! With a pooled 'account' or pot for joint expenses.
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hello.kitty
04/27/09

In reply to For Love Or Money: Is It Cool To Hide Cash From Your Partner?
OH man, Dodai, my mom and therapist called you, didn't they?

Okay I will go to the bank and open my own account, I promise.
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Jack_Burton
04/27/09

In reply to For Love Or Money: Is It Cool To Hide Cash From Your Partner?
I hope she wins - that's a bullshit way for a bank to do business. Crap customer service.

If the spouse's name isn't on the account- it's none of their business, especially in the case of trying to solicit new business.

If I get pressure from my bank to buy other services while I'm in line for a teller transaction, I no longer tolerate it. Whatever they mention, I politely say "no thanks." If they push it, I ask them if there's any way to opt-out of these unsolicited verbal offers.
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bluebears
04/27/09

In reply to For Love Or Money: Is It Cool To Hide Cash From Your Partner?
You guys this is so fun! Now lets talk about the tax code :)
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sybann
04/27/09

In reply to For Love Or Money: Is It Cool To Hide Cash From Your Partner?
I hope Chase lost her business.

My mother kept a small account secret from my father because she knew him. He'd spend every cent he had. He's now gone but she has a small nest egg because she stashed a bit away from the grasshopper. And she doesn't live with ME!
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la.donna.pietra
04/27/09

In reply to For Love Or Money: Is It Cool To Hide Cash From Your Partner?
My mom opened a bank account in her name only in the late '80s. Since she and my dad also had a joint account at the same bank, the idiot account manager there set her account up with my dad's name on it too.

This did not go over well. It did, however, provide an opportunity for two useful life lessons: 1) have a separate account in your name only, if married, and 2) how to politely and efficiently ask to get someone's ass fired.
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greengrey
04/27/09

In reply to For Love Or Money: Is It Cool To Hide Cash From Your Partner?
Do spouses have the right to money/property earned in an inheritance?

Like if I were to inherit, then get divorced, would a spouse have a right to the property, money, or money earned off of the property?
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bluebears
04/27/09

@greengrey: In some (not sure about all) CP states no, inherited money is not CP. In equitable distribution states (the majority) it would really depend. If you were receiving/paying alimony the court would certainly take any and all money/assets into account. This goes double for child support. It's not black and white.
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hello.kitty
04/27/09

@greengrey: It depenends on the state I think. But basically when you draw up a will--WHICH ALL PEOPLE SHOULD DO--you designate who will inherit your estate.
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morninggloria
04/27/09

In reply to For Love Or Money: Is It Cool To Hide Cash From Your Partner?
I'm willing to bet that the family had other accounts held at Chase, which is why the employee thought it was okay to discuss finances with the husband. The husband and wife probably have joint accounts at the same institution.

If you ever wish to keep an account a secret, establish it at a financial institution where you have no other relationships and only give your cell phone and office number.

Also, I'm pretty sure that financial regulatory disputes are settled via FINRA aribitration first, not civil courts.
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bluebears
04/27/09

@morninggloria: well I haven't seen the complaint but she is probably alleging some sort of civil wrong ie breach of duty.
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Cafezinha
04/27/09

In reply to For Love Or Money: Is It Cool To Hide Cash From Your Partner?
My problem in understanding this is what a lot of other commenters have mentioned: why would you partner yourself with somebody who handles money in a radically different fashion than yourself? Wouldn't this be one of the Big Things (along with religion, sex, children, and perhaps politics) to discuss and iron out with a prospective life partner, and part ways if you simply can't come together on a solution?
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la.donna.pietra
04/27/09

@Cafezinha: You would think so, but you would be wrong. I used to work as an accountant, and I could tell you some absolute doozies about couples and money if I didn't still feel the need to be professional.
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sportz.star
04/27/09

In reply to For Love Or Money: Is It Cool To Hide Cash From Your Partner?
Separate accounts are a good idea, IMO.

Banks giving account information to someone not on the account, terrible idea.
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tinydundie42
04/27/09

In reply to For Love Or Money: Is It Cool To Hide Cash From Your Partner?
I think it's fine to have shared accounts, separate accounts, whatever is good for you is fine with me. Entering into a serious relationship with someone who you have to keep big secrets from is what seems off. I wouldn't want to be married to someone who was going to pressure me into doing something I didn't want to do...
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LaMorena
04/27/09

In reply to For Love Or Money: Is It Cool To Hide Cash From Your Partner?
Regardless, this is not smart. She's only FDIC insured to $100k, so she should have broken it up into multiple accounts.
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