Jezebel: mistress

You Can't Make It Up: John Ensign's Mommy Paid Off His Mistress

Megan — Fri, 10 Jul 2009 10:00:00 EDT

The image associated with this post is best viewed using a browser.In this extra-special edition of Crappy Hour, we - and by "we" I mean me myself and I - discuss John Ensign's Oedipal issues, sympathy for the devil (Palin, obviously), sex dreams, Iran, masturbation, Howard Dean and Roland Burris.

Crappy Hour, July 10, 2009

Mistress Takes Revenge On Man Who "Fired" Her

Margaret — Tue, 17 Feb 2009 13:30:00 EST

A married Chinese businessman's plan to hold a contest between his five mistresses to decide which one to "keep" backfired when one of the eliminated women drove him off a cliff.

The man, known by his last name Fan, couldn't afford to support so many mistresses so he had the women compete in categories of appearance, singing, and how much alcohol they could hold. The winner would remain his mistress and receive $800 per month and an apartment. A 29-year-old woman, identified as Yu, was eliminated in the appearance round. She invited Fan and the other women to accompany her on a sight seeing trip and drove the car off a cliff, killing herself and injuring the others. Fan shut down his company and paid Yu's parents $85,000. The mistresses and Fan's wife left him. [CNN, Time]

[Image via Stock Exchange]

With "Friends" Like Jesse Jackson, Does Obama Need John McCain?

Megan — Wed, 15 Oct 2008 18:00:00 EDT

Jesse Jackson used to be considered a great man and a great civil rights leader. He was considered MLK's protégé, he was the first African-American candidate to run a credible campaign for the Democratic nomination, he helped free hostages, he fought for social justice... And yet, somehow, with the United States credibly on the cusp of elected its first African-American president — a ceiling that Jackson himself put some cracks in — it's been a tough year for him. Today's news is that as a supporter of Barack Obama — not an adviser — he told the World Policy Forum that Obama's election would reduce the clout of the "Zionists who have controlled American policy for decades." The fuck?

Jackson claimed the right to say this about Obama because he's a "a neighbor or, better still, a member of the family" since Jackson's son, Congressman Jesse Jackson Jr., is a strong supporter of Obama's. In fact, he's such a strong supporter that — for the second time this year — he's had to issue a statement slamming his increasingly erratic father. Obama and Congressman Jackson issued statements taking issue with Reverend Jackson's completely false characterization of Obama's positions on Israel, and the good Reverend was forced to admit that he's had nary a conversation with Obama on the subject in his life.

This is, of course, not the first time Jackson's fucked up when it comes to Obama. The first time, during the primaries, he accused Obama of "acting white" for not being out there enough talking about the Jena 6, a comment he later denied. He was later caught on tape saying "I wanna cut his nuts off" for "telling n*****s how to behave" after Obama spoke about absentee fathers in the African-American community. Of course, Jackson might be just a little sensitive about the subject of absentee fathers, given that he practically stopped visiting the child he had with his mistress in her second year of life, preferring to make sure she was financially supported and had her privacy. So, actually, making anti-Semitic, anti-Israel policy statements while claiming to be speaking on behalf of a candidate he has publicly desired to castrate might be par for the course for the Reverend Jackson this year.

Is he jealous that Obama might rise to the pinnacle of political power that he himself failed to achieve? Or is he just losing his marbles? Or can Sarah Palin's wink do something to a man up close that, thankfully, it can't do over a television feed? Jeebus only knows, but Congressman Jackson needs to get his dad to shut the fuck up already.

The O Jesse Knows [NY Post]
Obama Responds To Report On Jackson Comments [Washington Post]

The Secret Lives Of Women: The Making Of A Mistress

Margaret — Wed, 16 Jul 2008 18:00:00 EDT

Last night on WE, The Secret Lives of Women took a look at “mistresses,” from women having affairs with married men to a dominatrix named Christian. We were going to bring you a clip in which Christian and her client “Bert” explain why they don’t think what they do counts as cheating, but, to technical errors, the clip was unavailable. We did, however, stumble upon this video, which exposes WE’s nefarious editing techniques. In the show I watched last night, Christian explained that her behavior as a child foreshadowed her career because “at the age of five I was tying boys to trees in the backyard.” In the unedited clip above, we learn the real tip-off that little Christian would someday whip businessmen for a living. I don’t want to spoil it, but it involves dog tranquilizers, peeing in a hole... and a straw.