Dear Robin Morgan: How About Kthanxbai To All That

So that Robin Morgan thing that Chelsea Clinton supposedly has been forwarding around the internets? It's a sequel to Morgan's seminal second-wave feminist screed "Goodbye to all That" and it's about why you should vote for Hillary Clinton at the risk of "letting history pass by while wringing your hands." (Hey Robin, you know Barack Obama is the fifth black senator in the history of America? Just putting that out there.) Anyway, I decided to do my own version of her essay, "Kthanxbai To All That," in the name of Miss Teen South Carolina, Obama Girl and all other U.S. American women I would rather not have as president even though I totally do not in any way hate women, in fact I think they actually would probs make better presidents than men. Because if there's one thing Robin and I agree on, it's that Hillary is "being exploited as a Rorschach test by women who reduce her to a blank screen on which they project their own fears, failures, fantasies." And like, I'm not going to act like I didn't have to Wikipedia "Rorschach test" to understand what she was talking about there, but I totes agree! There's no other explanation to why she likes Hillary so damn much. Below, my response to her argument. More »

Miss Teen South Carolina Is Still Kinda Famous, Appears On Tyra

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Miss Teen South Carolina To 'Facebook' Frenemies: Victory Is Myn!

Geopolitics whiz Miss Teen South Carolina has a message for all her jealous Facebook friends and frenemies, one of whom just won the "Most Valuable Tipster" designation here at Jezebel. "I like the attention," she writes on her 'Wall'. Why? Because it provides her with a platform from which to voice her opinions on a variety of worthy causes, namely, how anyone who feels her stupidity was an embarrassment to our country just shouldn't be allowed to procreate.

All these girls are grown girls, but they sure dont act like it. They are all imature and need to grow up. I hope yall aren't planning on starting a family, because your kids would grow up in a mean world.

Spoken like the leader of the next Khmer Rouge! After the jump, Lauren Caitlin Upton's impassioned defense of her answer to what admittedly, was "not the easiest question", followed by her "Wall of Meanness," a collection of her most hateful emails (and her withering responses), which will stand forever as a testament to her triumph in the face of hate and the time-tested ability, in the face of national disgust, of an overabundance of cleavage and self-esteem to prevail. More »