womb raiders

Why Can't Non-Batshit Pro-Lifers Give It Up And Accept The Abortion Pill?

This is Rep. Ray Salva, Missouri Democrat. An early supporter of John Edwards, the Catholic and lifetime Missouri resident is a member of the Optimist's Club and known to be a friend of the environment, the homeless and the eroding middle-class. But we write about him for a much more baffling reason: his addition of an amendment to a statehouse anti-methamphetamine bill. The bill was your typical "make buying Sudafed a pain in the ass" measure. But Salva's amendment would do something entirely unrelated: it would add mifepristone, the RU-486 abortion pill, to the state's list of Schedule 1 Controlled Substances, the list where substances find themselves if they have a high potential for abuse and no accepted medical use. "What other drug could be more harmful (than one that takes) a life?" It's not a bad question: Salva, no stranger to substance abuse, was arrested for drunk driving last February; surely the sort of behavior that could wind up taking a human life.
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grill of rights

Mississippi To Ban Fat People From Eating In Public!?

The Mississippi State House is proposing a law that would ban restaurants from serving people with a BMI higher than 30. On one hand, of course, you could say that's no worse than laws preventing bartenders from serving another shot of whiskey to that guy who just chipped a tooth falling off his stool. On the other hand, of course, an obese person is not going to use the opportunity afforded by an unnecessary plate of chicken and dumplings to pinch the ass of the waitress, puke in the bathroom sink, take a piss next to your dumpster and ram into an oncoming car on the way home, so there's really not much of a comparison. More seriously though, would it work? Wouldn't the nation's fat people, faces hot with the shame of being weighed publicly on a scale outside the Outback Steakhouse, simply drive straight to the nearest convenience store and pick up a few pints of Karamel Sutra to cool off? Aren't our seriously fat citizens too poor to indulge in that much Panera bread anyway? Moreover, did Rep. W.T. Mayhall not hear? Americans are officially no longer the fats of the world. Just like with that whole economy racket, we're being surpassed by the Euros! More »