• "It has been the most incredible gap-year project," says Emma Watson on her new ethical fashion line. What happened to Habitat for Humanity? [WWD]

• Quoth the Chanel-clad sorceress: "I wanted to help People Tree produce a younger range because I was excited by the idea of using fashion as a tool to help alleviate poverty and knew it was something I could help make a difference with." [Telegraph]
• Coco Rocha takes a more traditional path, going with her church to work in Costa Rica. "My religion has always been important to me." [FashionWeekDaily]
• Christian Audigier, the man behind douche-outfitters Ed Hardy and Von Dutch, is for some reason going to be in a movie. "Explains" his agent, "The guy is a natural... Christian is into fighting, boxing, martial arts. And he wants to show people that side. That skill set." Oh, he's also cutting an album. [GQ]
• Speaking of multimedia: Versace has launched Facebook and Twitter accounts. As Karl Lagerfeld could tell them: demode. [WWD]
• If you don't feel you can exactly pull of Aretha's inaugural chapeau, here's a more wearable option: the Queen of Soul, avec chapeau, immortalized on a limited-edition tee. [New York]
• Whoa: Gaultier for Target? We could use a $20 cone bra...[WWD]
• And speaking of collabs: Christopher Kane for Topshop is awesome, selling brilliantly. Bring. It. Here. Now. [Independent]
• Says LVMH's prez: "There are four main elements to our business model-product, distribution, communication and price. Our job is to do such a fantastic job on the first three that people forget all about the fourth." They're not there yet. [Economist]
• Leigh Lezark, the somewhat vacant, sinister and inexplicably beloved former Misshape, has been tapped as the "brand ambassador" for Charles Worthington's new range. [ElleUK]
• Speaking of celeb faces, Alexander Wang: "Today, more than ever, it definitely makes a difference. But for us, it's always about finding the right person, whether it's an A-list celebrity or someone on the Internet who understands our brand and has a lot of influence on people." [WWD]
• A Coach employee is suing his supervisor for sexual harassment. "It was one of those weiner dogs and he would say, 'Ok, I have a big weiner, you wanna come see my weiner?'" [NYDN]
• Oh noes! Prescriptives - and its awesome custom-blend foundation - is a recession casualty. Parent company Estee Lauder is shutting the brand down as a cost-cutting measure. [WWD]
• Apparently Emmanuel Ungaro chose Lindsay Lohan for the role of "artistic adviser" over Madonna and Paris because the troubled starlet brings "something younger, more cool, with a different attitude." That and she has bullshit-fashion experience from Project Runway! [AP]
• "Microluxury" - teeny-tiny dolly-sized luxe accessories - are, maybe, the wave of the future. Or maybe not. [Time]
• Ann Taylor's flaks must be working overtime: the working-gal's label, working hard to change its frumpy image, got a whole laundry-list of celebs to go to the runway show. In attendance: Jennifer Esposito, Vanessa Williams, Mena Suvari, Gretchen Mol, Kelly Rutherford, Kelly Bensimon, Laila Ali, Katherine McPhee and Amanda Bynes. [WWD]
• Speaking of brands trying to turn it around: Gap is experimenting with a "Results-Only Work Environment" in which "employees are empowered to work whenever and wherever they want as long as the work gets done." Were guessing it's not quite as fun as that sounds. Because we can fold from a bar just fine. [BW]
• The skint Lacroix has a number of "suitors of means." Await reports on possible saviors. [WWD]
• Well, this one will work for sure: new cellulite-busting tights have crystals in the weave that'll shear the bumps right off. [Daily Mail]
• Tommy Hilfiger is a rebel: his new flagship is on Fifth Avenue. "Donna, Ralph, Calvin, Oscar, Michael? They're all on Madison," a block away, he declares. [Style.com]
• British psychiatrists are warning that London Fashion Week, with its accompanying trigger for ED-prone girls who regard the models as "thinspiration." [Telegraph]
• Meanwhile, anti-sweatshop protesters are taking on the tents. Celeb faces of "Love Fashion Hate Sweatshops" include Gael Garcia Bernal. [Mirror]
• At Peter Som's show, "the especially young models, perched in shiny chrome or deep-blue pumps, posed in groups of three on white pedestals while the crowd milled below them." The designer was inspired by "cruise ships, antique photographs and Japanese prints." [Observer]
• Isaac Mizrahi, meanwhile, celebrated his return to Fashion Week with the theme "Astaire Case or Obstacle Course." [Yahoo]
• Celebrity stylist Philip Bloch is filling the need for another style manual. The Shopping Diet: Spending Less and Getting More is, he says, "something all of us shopaholic recessionistas need — a self-help on excess shopping." [NY Post]
• Inevitably, teens can now buy a copy of the prom dress Bella Swan wore in Twilight - from the very town where Bella got hers! Can a vampire escort be far behind? [NYDN]

Take, for example, this Glamour feature from last year, which breaks women's body types into these categories: Tall, Busty, Petite, Boyish, Plus-Size, and Pear-Shaped. Which is all well and good, I suppose, unless you happen to be a Pear-Shaped Busty Tall Woman looking for ideas on Plus-Size gowns, because the advice for each category is markedly different, which would lead many women to believe that there are only certain aspects of their bodies that are truly worth addressing, as opposed to concentrating on what fits and feels good.

Also, as someone who generally falls into the "oh, dear, puberty forgot to deliver your boobs" category, I think it would be nice if fashion magazines could stop referring to thin women without many curves as "boyish." Femininity comes in many shapes and sizes, thanks, and Glamour's advice only reinforces the fact that they feel that flat-chested women need to blow up their bust lines to achieve sexiness: "Don't have voluptuous curves? Fake ‘em!" Ah yes, because nothing makes me feel more confident than putting in my fake temporary boobs in order to wear a dress.

Yet we here at Jezebel still want to provide a general set of guidelines for women who seek some guidance when it comes to "dressing for your shape." And so we've compiled a list, so that you'll never accidentally put a "boyish" frock on your "busty" frame again. Heaven forbid!

Snork: If you are shaped like a Snork, we highly recommend this casual ensemble. Not only will you be dressed to thrill, but the matching bows on the side of your head will take the attention off of the giant strawlike appendage you use for breathing. Because breathing is so 2008!


Moomin: If you are shaped like a Moomin, we recommend this hot top hat and cane action. Because nobody will notice that you're naked if you accessorize well. Bonus points if the hat has magical powers: magic is the key word of the season.


Lisa Frank Unicorn: If you are shaped like a Lisa Frank unicorn, we suggest you add a little color to your wardrobe. The brighter, the better: keeping a rainbow of starry goodness on you at all times will distract your friends from the glitter that always seems to be flying out of your butt. Awk-ward!


Stegosaurus: Ouch! Those back spikes can be tough to hide. We suggest extinction. Seriously. Nobody is going to want to date you if you keep accidentally goring everyone you meet. But if you must stay around, perhaps you should consider breast implants to accent your "dinosaurish" figure.


Mooninite: Sorry, but neon is on its way out. Perhaps a better way to play up your cube-like figure would be to try some hot heels or a wrap dress. You might even want to invest in a good bag to carry your often-unwieldy quad laser.


The sad thing is, it's easy to make fun of this set-up because it's so ubiquitous; I guarantee you there are shape-based dressing guides being written this minute, perpetuating this weird idea that women's bodies need to fall into one category, or that one aspect of their bodies should be played up or covered up, depending on what society believes is beautiful at that moment. Perhaps instead of continuing to place women into predetermined boxes, we should encourage them to embrace their shape, instead of finding ways to play it down, and to wear clothing that feels as good as it looks.

But what do I know? I'm just a "boyish" woman. Let me go stuff my bra and I'll get back to you with some super womanly advice.

Dress For Your Shape: Cocktail Dresses [Glamour]

Earlier: April Vogue Loves Your Body, Especially If It's Wrapped In Balenciaga

• Katie Holmes is the new face of Miu Miu. Srsly? [New York Magazine]
• Marc Jacobs' company has been accused of bribing a state official so the designer "could get a desirable venue for his fashion show." They're paying $1 million in fines. [TMZ]
• In happier news, Marc is open to marriage! Even if California isn't. “I refuse to let anyone tell me who I can and cannot marry, and who I can and cannot love. That’s just bullshit...Wherever we’d have to go. If he’s up for it, I’m up for it.” [New York Magazine]
• Are women overreacting about American Apparel's latest ads? Reverse Cowgirl's Susannah Breslin thinks so. Personally, I just hate leggings as pants! Seriously, we're talking blouses tucked into leggings, kids. [Reverse Cowgirl]
• Jessica Biel is not, we repeat, not, designing handbags for William Rast. [Fashionista via People]

• Steve & Barry's files for bankruptcy for second time. [WWD]
• Leighton Meester continues the strange Gossip Girl cast-sneaker trend as she becomes the new face of Reebok. [Fashionista]
• Karl Lagerfeld just designed a piece of French currency. "The limited-edition collector’s coin, which features Chanel’s signature quilted pattern on one side and the head of Coco Chanel on the other, was created to commemorate the 125th anniversary of Ms. Chanel’s birthday." [WSJ]
• Celeb spawn Julia Restoin-Roitfeld and Dakota Johnson Griffith are the new models for Mango. [WWD]
• Diane Von Furstenberg: "My mission is to make women feel more confident. I do it through fashion. I do it through philanthropy. I do it through everything I do. I didn't know what I wanted to do when I grew up, but I knew the kind of woman I wanted to become and I became that woman: an independent woman who was in the driving-seat. Because I am in fashion I have given other women tools to become that also." [Telegraph]
• In a rather less vague example of this, Eileen Fisher gives out this year's Business Grants: “With the credit market tightening and small businesses finding it increasingly difficult to secure financing, it is important to support woman entrepreneurs more than ever." [WWD]
• PETA comes down hard on "bunny butcher" Donna Karan. [Racked]
• George David, the ahem "colorful" head of Marks & Spencer's Per Una brand, steps down. [Guardian]
• In other M&S news: this affordable bespoke shirt idea seems genius. [Telegraph]
• Sarah Palin sports wrist corsage to Alaska's birthday party. From her date?! [LA Times]
• Meanwhile at his own birthday party, Christian Siriano — "pausing for impromptu dance-offs with friends and later, grinning over platters of cupcakes festooned with sparklers" — was feted by the MisShapes. [Observer]
• Many are boycotting Australian wool because of a "barbaric" process designed to prevent maggots; wool producers say there's no alternative. [Reuters]
• Naomi Campbell to host Miami photo retrospective...of herself. [Yahoo]
• The Limited experiences major net fall. [WSJ]
• How to accessorize your Prada phone? The Prada Link, of course — "a braceletlike leather and metal timepiece that alerts Prada phone users to calls and SMS messages." [WWD]
• Proenza Schouler designer Lazaro Hernandez raises his own turkeys, which for some reason, makes sense. [New York]
• Recycled soda can lingerie. Green? Sure. Cool? Very. Comfy? Yeah, not so much. [InventorSpot]
• On the Sonia Rykiel retrospective: "She did conceptualism before the conceptualists, Japanese before the Japanese, minimalism before the minimalists. So in a way she smoothed the way for all movements in contemporary fashion." Well, il faut pas exaggerer! [Guardian]

The Good:
Sometimes I wish you could see "Bad" first (I know that would screw with the whole title reference) so that you could appreciate what a breath of fresh air Joy Bryant's divine ensemble is after some of this evening's fashions.

I'm sure Eva Amurri would far rather I didn't describe her as Susan Sarandon's daughter. All in good time, my dear. And your dress is lovely.

Digging Monet Mazur's use of belt.

Ditto Michelle Trachtenberg's groovy clutch.

Not my favorite look on Rachel Bilson, but I do think she's one of the few who could pull this off.

The Bad:
There is a certain horrible perfection to Rachel Zoe in this Return to the Valley of the Dolls hideosity.

You think Gretchen Mol's doing okay. And then you hit the shoes.

You can probably guess, but this pan refers to the center of the sandwich, one Melissa Gellman Weiss.

Tara Subkoff: Qhat is your motivation?!

The Ugly:
I understand that E.V. Day is an artist and therefore above the laws of normal aesthetic standards. This is why she gets her own category.

[Images via Getty.]

Which, you know, sounds like totally understandable behavior, except that Cory is the one who is fucking seventeen years old, and Leigh is 23, and her Myspace headline reads "None of it would happen to me again. I'd seen through it. I elected to grow up." (Boldface ours!) And hummus is made from chickpeas, and eating food could probably do Leigh some good. (Also: having actual fun.) Anyway, we're pretty sure some sort of detente has been reached, since the Misshapes are taking their act to LA and Cory's whole crowd showed up at the last Misshapes, but the gossip was too good (i.e. depressing) not to share. For the record we are Cory partisans, because, duh.