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Naomi Campbell Has "Pancake Bosoms," Rihanna Has "Saucer Nips" And Kristin Cavallari "Ruins" Pictures By Wearing A Bra

Welcome back to Missdemeanors, in which we accuse gossip bloggers of Crimes Against Womanity. We do this because the gossip industry is sexist, and only getting worse. These people are paid to write "gossip" but, 99% of the time, the words they use to go with celebrity pictures denigrate, critique, belittle and…

Miley Cyrus Is A "Whore," Eva Longoria Is "Fat" & "Ugly People" Should Live In A Concentration Camp

Welcome back to Missdemeanors, in which we issue virtual wrist-slaps to popular gossip bloggers for Crimes Against Womanity. This week, Eva Longoria is fat and Miley Cyrus is a slut. That's all anyone wanted to blog about...really. (Remember ladies! In gossip blog land you can never be too thin or too virginal.) As…

"[Alli Sims] Is So Fuckin' Doughy You Wouldn't Be Surprised If You Walked In On Britney Trying To Eat Her Leg"

Welcome back to our weekly examination of the Crimes Against Womanity committed by gossip bloggers and the virtual wristslaps we issue out to our grammatically and creatively-challenged web friends. In this edition, we give Alli Sims (Britney's former assistant and aspiring pop-star), Brooke Hogan, Jennifer Garner,…

"You’d Be Better Off [Spooging Into] Radioactive Waste Than Dropping A Load In Paris Hilton."



Welcome back to Missdemeanors, in which we issue virtual wrist-slaps to popular gossip bloggers for Crimes Against Womanity. According to these numbnuts, Samantha Ronson is a "man," Paris Hilton's lady bits are toxic waste equivalents, and Shauna Sand's vagina looks like a "badly packed suitcase." WTF Does that even…

"She Looks Like Pocahontas, So If You're Thinking About Raping Her, You Can Say It Was Just For A History Project"

Welcome back to Missdemeanors, in which we issue virtual wrist-slaps to popular gossip bloggers for Crimes Against Womanity. This week, "boys want" Christina Aguilera's boobs, someone would like to slice Lily Allen's belly and someone else offers rape tips. Another great week of "writing" "gossip" on the Internet!…

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"Her Baby Will Never See Its First Birthday Because It's Living In A Pair Of Bloody Panties"

Welcome back to Missdemeanors, in which we issue virtual wrist-slaps to popular gossip bloggers for Crimes Against Womanity. This week, women get mocked for being too fat, for having cellulite, for being too fit and therefore not sexy, and, of course, for having a miscarriage. Plus! Excerpts from an interview with the…

"Not Even Her Milky Tits Can Hide The Fact That She's Almost The Size Of A Small Minivan"

Welcome back to Missdemeanors, in which we issue virtual wrist-slaps to popular gossip bloggers for Crimes Against Womanity. Same circus, different clowns, you guys. Getting pregnant "ruins everything," Pink is "a dude" and Katherine Heigl "needs to work on her legs. The offenders, their crimes and sentences, after…