According to Kotzin, the practice is surprisingly common — many of her coevals and some older friends have been "young-lady-ed." She complains that "those two words dispel all illusion of glamour. I'm reduced to being a little old lady with or without tennis shoes." Of course, searching for "young lady" on Getty Images yields a bunch of photos of Michelle Obama hula-hooping, which, while not strictly glamorous, is certainly awesome. Still, Kotzin has a legitimate point. She writes,

I find an implied hierarchy in the phrase, with the person wielding it assuming the power. It diminishes dignity in a way that's related to - though without the intended insult or attendant historic hatreds and violence - in calling a man "boy."

"Young lady" may be meant to diminish, but it may also be a ham-handed attempt at flattery — perhaps its users want to imply that Kotzin looks like a fresh young thing. But calling someone young isn't necessarily a compliment, and as Kotzin points out, "young lady" just sounds like an old-fashioned reprimand to a child. So what's a good alternative?

Kotzin's piece made me realize that my attitude toward forms of address is actually pretty ageist. I absolutely loathe being called "ma'am." Partly this has to do with the fact that when I'm interacting with strangers, I'm frequently wearing my errand-running uniform of military jacket, ratty jeans, and Chucks, and "ma'am" just seems kind of incongruous — it cries out for a pantsuit and some low-heeled pumps. But part of it, too, is that "ma'am" makes me feel old. I don't have nearly the same visceral disgust for "miss," despite the fact that, if I think about it, it's actually less respectful. I can even deal with "honey," as long as it's from a woman — from a man it just sounds condescending.

I do think I need to get over my "ma'am" prejudice, but I also submit that there's no really great way to address a woman you don't know. Part of the problem is that so many such addresses are unwanted — for every nice guy letting me know I dropped something, there are another five with weird petitions or the suggestion that I, and every other woman walking by that particular corner, might like to marry them. I'm not sure that men's interactions with strangers are actually less unpleasant than mine, but I do prefer their terminology. I know a lot of guys who were excited when they got their first "sir," and I kind of wish that distinguished term were gender-neutral. But since that's unlikely to happen soon, I'm going to take a page from Star Trek's Kathryn Janeway, and try to get everyone to call me "Captain."

Young Lady [The Smart Set]

Gibbs explores the tricky task of picking an "official" name of sorts and sticking to it, as she finds it natural that different people in her life would address her in a different manner: "At work and out in the world, I'm Ms. Gibbs; at my daughters' school and the pediatrician, I am Mrs. May; to a few people who've known me since I was 2, Miss Nancy." Gibbs, who is married but retains her maiden name, also notes that "whether my children's friends call me Ms. Gibbs or Mrs. May or any combination of the two, I view it as a sign of respect and don't worry about the particulars. My husband never remotely suggested that he was bothered by my not taking his name; in fact, he's accustomed to occasionally answering to Mr. Gibbs."

Gibbs argues that multiple names aren't really a big deal, as the choice to be Ms. or a Miss or a Mrs. is the true feminist victory, whether or not people use these terms or not. "All these identities are me," she writes, "Ms. when I'm out slaying dragons, Mrs. when I'm in the company of those I love most, Miss when I want to stay home under the covers and daydream." I'm inclined to agree with her, as I think most people are trying to be respectful when using formal titles of any kind, but I'm a bit torn on how I would react if I'd chosen to keep my maiden name, and my Ms., and people still addressed me as "Mrs. So-and-So." I suppose it would depend on the situation; if it was someone, as Gibbs explains, like her child's friend, who is surely just trying to be respectful and assumes that the child's mother is "Mrs. Same Last Name As The Kid," I don't think it would bother me too much. But it it were a friend or family member who insisted upon calling me by a name I explicitly didn't choose, simply to push some sort of value system on me, the situation would be quite different.

What do you think, commenters? Are you a Miss, a Ms., or Mrs.? And do you mind when someone calls you by a name you don't prefer?

Who Am I To You? [Time]

Usually these morning show interviews are awkward and forced, but there seems to be genuine warmth between Bette and Meredith. They even sing together! It's adorable. Clip above.

Trump: Tara NOT Fired, Will Enter Rehab [TMZ]