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New York, 9:23 AM
Tue Dec 1
67 posts in the last 24 hours

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  • posts about #miss more →

    Don't Call Me That: The Proper Way To Address A Lady

    Excuse Me, Miss/Mrs./Ms.?

    "We Decided To Make The Hemline Of The Costume Longer"

    "Ms." Dates Back To 1901

    Bette Midler: "I'm A Tough Old Bird"

    Oh I'm Sorry I Forgot I Wasn't An Actress
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    Dsmvwl  Admin  Promote to frontpage Approve user Ban user ×
    Image of hydrogen_jukebox hydrogen_jukebox
    11/11/09

    In reply to Don't Call Me That: The Proper Way To Address A Lady
    Just call me Baroness. #younglady
     Reply
    hydrogen_jukebox was starred hydrogen_jukebox was unstarred
    Image of suzannelb suzannelb
    11/11/09

    In reply to Don't Call Me That: The Proper Way To Address A Lady
    I live in Boston, and despite our reputation for Yankee rudeness, I've had too many retail and cashier jobs to be anything but unfailingly polite and courteous to the person taking my order or ringing me up. Because of this, I am continually called "hon" or "dear" or "sweetie" by people in the service industry, and it's nice! I spend my days being screamed at on the phone by university faculty members who think yelling at me will solve their dental insurance problems; one of the highlights of my day is stopping at Dunkin' Donuts in the morning and hearing "half-decaf hazelnut iced for ya, dahlin?" from the manager.

    Since I identify myself immediately when I answer the hotline at work, I have been known to interrupt the grouchy professors who call me "young lady" with "My name is Suzanne." Making sure the person on the other end of the line knows your name is a customer service thing, but it also serves to ensure that no one gets away with calling me any kind of diminutive and that I am always addressed by my proper name.

    The awesome Cape Verdean ladies from the dining hall get away with saying "honey," but that's because they're the awesome Cape Verdean ladies from the dining hall and they're very nice; I call them "sweetie" right back. #younglady
     Reply
    cirocco promoted this comment suzannelb was starred suzannelb was unstarred
    Image of pesematology pesematology
    11/10/09

    In reply to Don't Call Me That: The Proper Way To Address A Lady
    Ma'am is okay with me, in these parts it is a step up from "young lady" which you get as long as you are, well, a young lady. #younglady
     Reply
    pesematology was starred pesematology was unstarred
    Image of quickqueenof quickqueenof
    11/10/09

    In reply to Don't Call Me That: The Proper Way To Address A Lady
    Transplants from the North down here to the South get all mad when called "ma'am." I was just raised that is what you call a woman to signify respect. It has nothing to do with age, just respect. A "miss" is a child or a high school/college age girl.

    And I will be teaching my children to do the same. #younglady
     Reply
    yvanehtnioj promoted this comment quickqueenof was starred quickqueenof was unstarred
    Image of SylvanSylph SylvanSylph
    11/11/09

    @quickqueenof: Ha! I'm a transplant from the South to the North- it never occurred to me that "ma'am" was regional until I got a look of utter shock after ma'aming someone at a gas station. But anything else strikes me as condescending. #younglady
     Reply
    SylvanSylph was starred SylvanSylph was unstarred
    Image of thebootyfaerie thebootyfaerie
    11/10/09

    In reply to Don't Call Me That: The Proper Way To Address A Lady
    I'm okay with either "ma'am" or "miss" from strangers, but "miss" only for people who know me.

    Maybe it's because I'm secretly old-fashioned, but I'm an unmarried woman. "Ma'am" just seems weird to me because of that.

    I was so pissed when I signed up for something today and had to choose between "Mrs." and "Ms." It had already been a frustrating (but necessary) registration process.

    Worse than "young lady," though, is "little one." I have no idea why one of my supervisors calls me that, but it really bothers me. But since it's always in passing and not in a one-on-one setting, I would feel bad asking her to stop. "Young lady" is infinitely better than that, and really doesn't bother me as long as it's not patronizing ("Now look here, young lady.")

    But, again, that may have something to do with me being in my early twenties and unmarried. #younglady
     Reply
    boxspelunker promoted this comment thebootyfaerie was starred thebootyfaerie was unstarred
    Image of ZombieEmpress ZombieEmpress
    11/10/09

    In reply to Don't Call Me That: The Proper Way To Address A Lady
    I prefer "Her Imperial Majesty", "Your Royal Highness", "O' Great One". If you are in a hurry, "Goddess" will suffice.

    BTW: I am eighteen years old and have been "ma'amed" for several years now. #younglady
     Reply
    tinydundie42 promoted this comment ZombieEmpress was starred ZombieEmpress was unstarred
    Image of tinydundie42 tinydundie42
    11/10/09

    @ZombieEmpress: I'm 23 and I've never been "ma'amed." But I look like I'm 14, so that might have something to do with it. #younglady
     Reply
    tinydundie42 was starred tinydundie42 was unstarred
    Image of Sir Sir
    11/10/09

    In reply to Don't Call Me That: The Proper Way To Address A Lady
    I HATE being called "young lady"--it's a very demeaning term. I work with a bunch of old dudes and when they call me "young lady" I want to drop trou and pinch a loaf right there and then. "Young lady" says "you're not a professional, not one of us" and "you're cutesy and diminutive and you remind me of my children/neices." I prefer to be called "sir" (Peanuts style) because it sounds like something you call a professional... professionalism isn't just for dudes. (It also sounds like something you say to someone who intimidates you... so all the better for me...) I would not entirely object to being called "Dame [last name]" since it's kinda absurd. #younglady
     Reply
    boxspelunker promoted this comment Sir was starred Sir was unstarred
    Image of boxspelunker boxspelunker
    11/10/09

    @Sir: You are hearted because you are not the only one with an overwhelming desire to express displeasure with poop. #younglady
     Reply
    boxspelunker was starred boxspelunker was unstarred
    Image of sybann sybann
    11/10/09

    In reply to Don't Call Me That: The Proper Way To Address A Lady
    HA! I like Cap'n.

    And Anna, get used to ma'am. I've been called ma'am for twenty years and have never worn a pantsuit. And I still hate it.

    AND never live in the south. They'll ma'am you to pieces. #younglady
     Reply
    sybann was starred sybann was unstarred
    Image of Eh-ron Eh-ron
    11/10/09

    @sybann: Yes ma'am, we will. #younglady
     Reply
    sybann promoted this comment Eh-ron was starred Eh-ron was unstarred
    Image of sybann sybann
    11/11/09

    @Eh-ron: Bless your pea-pickin heart. ; ) #younglady
     Reply
    sybann was starred sybann was unstarred
    Image of Justine Justine
    11/10/09

    In reply to Don't Call Me That: The Proper Way To Address A Lady
    My father calls older women "young lady" and insists that they like it, even though my mother and I have told him that it's patronizing, repeatedly. But, then again, I was thinking of him during the masculinity article - he's one of those, "Let me tell you poor confused wimmenfolk what real feminism is about" guys. #younglady
     Reply
    sybann promoted this comment Justine was starred Justine was unstarred
    Image of sybann sybann
    11/10/09

    @Justine: God bless him ; ) #younglady
     Reply
    sybann was starred sybann was unstarred
    Image of amusedmuse amusedmuse
    11/10/09

    In reply to Don't Call Me That: The Proper Way To Address A Lady
    Language is one thing, but tone is another. The generalized pet names--sweetie, dear, honey, etc.--don't bother me if they're in a neutral tone. Context also enters into it. In a situation where you need or hope to be taken seriously, the last thing you want is to be called by a generalized pet name. #younglady
     Reply
    boxspelunker promoted this comment amusedmuse was starred amusedmuse was unstarred
    Image of Glitterbug (likes life shaken, not stirred) Glitterbug (likes life shaken, not stirred)
    11/10/09

    In reply to Don't Call Me That: The Proper Way To Address A Lady
    A busker near my college calls me "Little Miss". But since he sings Bob Marley when I request it and once punched a guy who tried to feel me up, I think I'll let it slide. Besides, he is like six foot six. He can call anyone little! #younglady
     Reply
    Glitterbug (likes life shaken, not stirred) was starred Glitterbug (likes life shaken, not stirred) was unstarred
    Image of embarcadero13 embarcadero13
    11/10/09

    In reply to Don't Call Me That: The Proper Way To Address A Lady
    My name ain't baby. It's Janet. Miss Jackson, if you're nasty! #younglady
     Reply
    boxspelunker promoted this comment embarcadero13 was starred embarcadero13 was unstarred
    Image of likepenguins likepenguins
    11/10/09

    In reply to Don't Call Me That: The Proper Way To Address A Lady
    See, ma'am I have no problem with. But "miss." Oh, how I loathe "miss." It's just rude.

    My problem is with "sweetheart." I find a bunch of ol' roughnecks and construction boys call me that at work. Ugh.

    I *should* feel the same way about being called "love" - but I can't help but secretly like that one. #younglady
     Reply
    yvanehtnioj promoted this comment likepenguins was starred likepenguins was unstarred
    Image of NotIt NotIt
    11/10/09

    In reply to Don't Call Me That: The Proper Way To Address A Lady
    I got called "little lady" by a subcontractor the other day.

    Guess who lost a job bid with a single breath? #younglady
     Reply
    Maritsa promoted this comment NotIt was starred NotIt was unstarred
    Image of nyc-caribbean-ragazza nyc-caribbean-ragazza
    11/10/09

    In reply to Don't Call Me That: The Proper Way To Address A Lady
    I don't mind signora/madame/ma'am.

    However, dude? Hate it. I'm not a 20 something surfer. #younglady
     Reply
    nyc-caribbean-ragazza was starred nyc-caribbean-ragazza was unstarred
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