Jezebel: miss USA

America has proved once again that its citizens ...

Maria — Mon, 14 Jul 2008 09:45:00 EDT

America has proved once again that its citizens cannot sashay: At yesterday's Miss Universe 2008 pageant, Miss USA, Crystle Stewart, became the second Miss USA contestant in as many years to take a tumble during the eveningwear competition. Stewart, 26, is a motivational speaker from Texas who is currently writing a book and plans to open a character-development school for young children. The pageant's top title went to Miss Venezuela, Dayana Mendoza, who says she is going to use the experience of a recent kidnapping to promote world peace. [CBS News]

Lindsay Lohan & Sam Ronson: Living Together?

Dodai — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 09:00:00 EDT

Sam Ronson has "practically moved in" with Lindsay Lohan and "spends every night at Lindsay's" in an effort to "keep her out of trouble"? LOL! Lezbe friends — breast friends! [Page Six]
Liz Taylor: Rushed to the hospital after mixing booze and pills. [Perez Hilton]
Rob Lowe's nanny is claiming that he "exposed himself" to her. He also allegedly put his hand in her pants several times and grabbed her buttocks without her consent. Tsk, tsk. [People]
Britney may release her video diaries, which contain rants about her family and friends as well as intimate info about Justin Timberlake and Kevin Federline and details on her feud with Christina Aguilera. It's tough to admit this but they sound kind of awesome. [Mirror]
Sure, the audience booed Heather Mills at the Miss USA pageant — but producers hated her too. [Page Six]
Bill Cosby is releasing a rap album. Repeat: Bill Cosby is releasing a rap album. [USA Today]

Ashlee Simpson recap: Us and OK! are reporting that she is pregnant; Pete Wentz, who is sleeping with her, swears she is not. [Page Six]
Oh, a source says Ashlee is due in October. [Rush & Molloy]
We're not saying he has um, shortcomings, but everyone laughs at Patrick Dempsey when he wears his Spandex bike shorts, he says. [Page Six]
Beyoncé's next album may be her last! [Rush & Molloy]
Donald Trump is grumpy because he wanted Miss Oklahoma, Lindsey Jo Harrington, to win Miss USA — instead of Miss Texas, Crystle Stewart. [Gatecrasher]
Blind item! "Which now-washed up '90s TV star is exasperating his agent by putting all his sexual conquests in touch with the ten-percenter? He talks girls into bed by promising the agent will meet with them." [Gatecrasher]
Some officers from the Laguna Beach Police Department don't think Richie Sambora endangered his 10-year-old daughter when he was busted for DUI on March 26, since there was no smell of alcohol on his breath and no dangerous or erratic driving. [TMZ]
Then again, he might be charged with DUI and child endangerment, both as misdemeanors. [People]
Click here to see a picture from Ivana Trump's wedding. The bride is wearing a pale pink beaded gown and maybe a tiara (?) and the groom is wearing white. [People]
American Idol contestant David Cook will have his brother Adam, who has brain cancer, in the audience tonight. [People]
Heidi Montag had a fashion show for her Anchor Blue line, Heidiwood. How did she choose her models? "The ones who looked the most like me won!" she says. Plastic surge FTW. [ET]
Kate Moss's boyfriend Jamie Hince filmed a video in his hotel room and things got so raucous the police were called. Rock. Star. [Mirror]
Sienna Miller's top slipped down while she was frolicking in the surf in Malibu. View the nip slip! [The Sun]
As you may know, the Jolie-Pitt kids love junk food. "If Zahara wants ice cream for breakfast, she'll get it," a source says. Plus neither Angie nor Brad can cook. [MSNBC]
JK Rowling says the Harry Potter characters she created are like her children. She also says the books saved her: "Not just in the very obvious material sense, although they did do that. I would have to say that there was a time when they saved my sanity." [CNN]
Kate Hudson wants another baby. "I can't wait to have more. I'm at that place when I'm ready to have another one and Chris and I are not together. I'm like, 'Oh no! Uh-oh! I'm ready.'" [People]
The tax evasion trial of Girls Gone Wild founded Joe Francis has been moved from Reno to Los Angeles. [USA Today]
John Cusack's stalker will stand trial. Cusack has accused the woman of throwing a bag of love letters, rocks and screwdrivers over his home's fence. Um, screwdrivers? [Reuters]
Janet Jackson's diet might be ruining her chances to conceive a fetus, says a random source. [Times Of India]
Former Blink-182 drummer Travis Barker has tentatively settled a lawsuit against Rockstar energy drinks for using his picture to promote the product without his consent. [USA Today]
Richard Gere has a cafe and bakery in the wealthy New York suburb of Bedford. The town has a rule that fences can be no higher than 4 feet; Gere's fence is 5 feet tall. Uh-oh. [Yahoo News]
"Our civilization has become extremely dumbed down, with shorter attention spans. All they want are sound bites. The tabloid magazines are the same every week. People has the same cover as InTouch as OK! as Us Weekly as Star magazine. They're exactly the same! It must be 100 to 120 people you read about all the time. They are appealing to a young audience, or a rather dumb audience.They go after those girls who exhibit more outrageous behavior. And, believe me, those girls love it. They call in items themselves — that they were at Nobu, some nightclub in SoHo. I can't think of anything more horrible than that. Publicity can be a drug." — Joan Collins. [Page Six]

Newly-Crowned Miss USA Makes Kids Cry

Jennifer — Mon, 14 Apr 2008 18:00:00 EDT

Newly crowned Miss USA Crystle Stewart dropped by Live! With Regis and Kelly this morning to discuss her win on Friday night and the way she tried to teach the other contestants about dedication and perseverance. Stewart says she also tries to spread the message of female empowerment to young girls through a business involving themed children's birthday parties. I'm not exactly sure how "Pageant Parties" and "Supermodel Parties" teach girls to love themselves and believe in who they are — especially since, as Stewart says, the Pageant Parties always end in tears — but whatever. Clip above.

Live Bloggin'

Tracie — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 17:30:00 EDT

Join us tonight at 9 pm Eastern for our liveblog of the Miss USA pageant. Then on Sunday, at 9 pm Eastern, we're gonna live blog the Rock of Love 2 finale. Who will Bret chose to continue to rock his world!? Only time will tell.

'Miss USA' Marketers: Watch This Pageant Cuz Pretty Chicks Are Idiots!

Dodai — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 12:30:00 EDT

It's taken us a while to get around to this, but the new commercial for the Miss USA pageant — airing on NBC on April 11 — is sort of a mindfuck. Instead of sweeping previous embarrassing moments under the rug, NBC is embracing them and encouraging TV watchers to tune in because they might just see a beautiful woman slip and fall on her ass, or babble on about "the Iraq." Such as. Sure, they use the tagline, "Anything can happen — because it's live", but really, they're gleefully humiliating and mocking the girls who participate as well as their own damn programming. Correct me if I'm wrong. Clip above.

Miss France Feels Heat; Miss USA The Next James Frey

Jennifer — Fri, 28 Dec 2007 14:00:00 EST

Pageant contestants never cease to be reliable sources of diva debauchery/ inevitable redemption. The latest tale of beauty queens gone wild comes courtesy of Miss France, 22-year old Valerie Begue. Having just won her title three weeks ago, Begue is battling criticism following the release of the inevitable "sexy" photos making their way around the Internets. (One photo, oddly enough, features Begue "licking what appeared to be yogurt or evaporated milk." Shades of Miss New Jersey!) Perhaps she could use some advice from former Miss USA Tara Conner? Conner, who, in 2006, was caught doing lines and chugging 40's like it was nobody's business and given a "second chance" by Miss USA pageant-owner Trump, has just signed a lucrative book deal for a memoir on her time in rehab, she announced this morning.

At this point, we hope that Ms. Conner and Ms. Begue both learn a thing or two from those most notorious of shamed pageant queens and "memoirists": Vanessa Williams and James Frey. Because not only can losing a pageant title can be the ticket to a successful career in pop music and television, making shit up in a non-fiction memoir will get you an even bigger book deal the next time around!

Miss France Keeps Title Despite Photos [Yahoo]

Tara Conner To Write Memoir Of Her Rehab Experience [People]

Earlier: Miss New Jersey's Raunchy Photos Revealed At Last

'Pageant Place': Miss Teen USA Has Gas

Tracie — Thu, 25 Oct 2007 14:30:00 EDT

Here's what we learned on last night's Pageant Place: Miss Teen USA Katie (the one who ratted out Tara Conner for being a cokehead) is uncouth, belches loudly and often, and spends lots of time on the phone with her boyfriend, facts that inspired Miss USA Rachel (the one who fell on her ass in the Miss Universe competition) to refer to her as a "teenybopper." Wrong move! According to Katie, such a statement is "the meanest thing you could say to anyone", and, naturally, a verbal fight ensued. Clip above.

MTV's Beauty Queens: Fun, Ditsy, And Vindictive

Tracie — Thu, 11 Oct 2007 17:30:00 EDT

So, judging by last night's episode, MTV's Pageant Place — which follows the reign and cohabitation of Miss Universe, Miss USA, and Miss Teen USA — has lots of potential, due to a curve ball thrown at the beauty queens: Former Miss USA, the famously-rehabbed Tara Conner, moves into the house with them. Also, Miss Universe, an impossibly-tall Japanese girl — who had to show her Miss Universe sash as ID in the airport after forgetting her passport — is totally awesome. When she moved into the apartment and saw her bedroom she screamed "Oooh! Pink!" and clapped her hands.

More Proof That The Japanese Do Everything Better

Anna — Tue, 29 May 2007 10:45:37 EDT

During last night's Miss Universe pageant in Mexico City, Miss USA Rachel Smith took a bit of a tumble during the evening-gown portion competition. The mostly Mexican crowd booed her, and Miss Japan Riyo Mori went on to win the whole enchilada. (Get it? Mexico? Enchilada? Yeah, we don't even amuse ourselves anymore.)

'Miss America' On Last Educated, Mystic Tanned Legs, But America's Pursuit Of Well-Rounded Ideal Persists

Moe — Fri, 30 Mar 2007 12:12:05 EDT

When the Miss America Pageant, ditched by Viacom owned CMT, finally goes the way of Elle Girl — online only (but so Web 2.0!) — some, like Nashville's Ralph Emery, may see it as a blow to that "little piece of Americana" that is the promotion of lofty goals (scholarship) alongside loftier ones (swimsuit-wearing!)

CMT will continue to promote athleticism alongside perky tits on its Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders Show [CMT] Donald Trump To Promote Smarmy MBA Types Alongside Former Cokeheads On NBC for the next 3 years [E Online!] Spring Break continues to promote consumption of branded products along with copious quantities of Jaeger. [Washington Post] American educators continue to promote fellatio alongside the Montessori method. [New York Times] Courtney Love promotes a psychotically-restrictive diet in conjunction with a highly sensible weight loss goal of between 6 and 11 pounds. [The Skinny Website]

Legend Laments Dropping Of Pageant [Tennessean]