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miss USA

America has proved once again that its citizens cannot sashay: At yesterday's Miss Universe 2008 pageant, Miss USA, Crystle Stewart, became the second Miss USA contestant in as many years to take a tumble during the eveningwear competition. Stewart, 26, is a motivational speaker from Texas who is currently writing a book and plans to open a character-development school for young children. The pageant's top title went to Miss Venezuela, Dayana Mendoza, who says she is going to use the experience of a recent kidnapping to promote world peace. [CBS News]

dirt bag

Lindsay Lohan & Sam Ronson: Living Together?

  • Sam Ronson has "practically moved in" with Lindsay Lohan and "spends every night at Lindsay's" in an effort to "keep her out of trouble"? LOL! Lezbe friends — breast friends! [Page Six]
  • Liz Taylor: Rushed to the hospital after mixing booze and pills. [Perez Hilton]
  • Rob Lowe's nanny is claiming that he "exposed himself" to her. He also allegedly put his hand in her pants several times and grabbed her buttocks without her consent. Tsk, tsk. [People]
  • Britney may release her video diaries, which contain rants about her family and friends as well as intimate info about Justin Timberlake and Kevin Federline and details on her feud with Christina Aguilera. It's tough to admit this but they sound kind of awesome. [Mirror]
  • Sure, the audience booed Heather Mills at the Miss USA pageant — but producers hated her too. [Page Six]
  • Bill Cosby is releasing a rap album. Repeat: Bill Cosby is releasing a rap album. [USA Today]
More »

clips

Newly-Crowned Miss USA Makes Kids Cry

Newly crowned Miss USA Crystle Stewart dropped by Live! With Regis and Kelly this morning to discuss her win on Friday night and the way she tried to teach the other contestants about dedication and perseverance. Stewart says she also tries to spread the message of female empowerment to young girls through a business involving themed children's birthday parties. I'm not exactly sure how "Pageant Parties" and "Supermodel Parties" teach girls to love themselves and believe in who they are — especially since, as Stewart says, the Pageant Parties always end in tears — but whatever. Clip above.

clips

Miss USA 2008: Stupid Answers To Stupid Questions

The Miss USA pageant, which aired on Friday night, wasn't the out-and-out spectacle of chicks tripping over their dresses or their words, but there were still some awesome idiotic moments—like the entire questions portion of the competition. One girl said that beauty cosmetics marketed to girls in elementary school are "important," while another said she wishes she could help Britney Spears. Oh, and maybe the best part of the whole night was when Donny Osmond just walked away from Heather Mills while she was in the middle of answering a question he asked her. Clip above.

live blogging

Miss USA 2008 AKA America's Next Top Shanna Moakler

The Miss USA pageant has always been the basic cable version of the iconic Miss America pageant, but after the "make under" that the latter received this year, the trash and flash of Miss USA is so totally welcome. Case in point: The pageant just started and there are so many sequins all over the place. Let's get ready for two hours of camp. More »

Live Bloggin' Join us tonight at 9 pm Eastern for our liveblog of the Miss USA pageant. Then on Sunday, at 9 pm Eastern, we're gonna live blog the Rock of Love 2 finale. Who will Bret chose to continue to rock his world!? Only time will tell.

clips

'Miss USA' Marketers: Watch This Pageant Cuz Pretty Chicks Are Idiots!

It's taken us a while to get around to this, but the new commercial for the Miss USA pageant — airing on NBC on April 11 — is sort of a mindfuck. Instead of sweeping previous embarrassing moments under the rug, NBC is embracing them and encouraging TV watchers to tune in because they might just see a beautiful woman slip and fall on her ass, or babble on about "the Iraq." Such as. Sure, they use the tagline, "Anything can happen — because it's live", but really, they're gleefully humiliating and mocking the girls who participate as well as their own damn programming. Correct me if I'm wrong. Clip above.

american titocracy

Miss France Feels Heat; Miss USA The Next James Frey

Pageant contestants never cease to be reliable sources of diva debauchery/ inevitable redemption. The latest tale of beauty queens gone wild comes courtesy of Miss France, 22-year old Valerie Begue. Having just won her title three weeks ago, Begue is battling criticism following the release of the inevitable "sexy" photos making their way around the Internets. (One photo, oddly enough, features Begue "licking what appeared to be yogurt or evaporated milk." Shades of Miss New Jersey!) Perhaps she could use some advice from former Miss USA Tara Conner? Conner, who, in 2006, was caught doing lines and chugging 40's like it was nobody's business and given a "second chance" by Miss USA pageant-owner Trump, has just signed a lucrative book deal for a memoir on her time in rehab, she announced this morning. More »

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'Pageant Place': Miss Teen USA Has Gas


Here's what we learned on last night's Pageant Place: Miss Teen USA Katie (the one who ratted out Tara Conner for being a cokehead) is uncouth, belches loudly and often, and spends lots of time on the phone with her boyfriend, facts that inspired Miss USA Rachel (the one who fell on her ass in the Miss Universe competition) to refer to her as a "teenybopper." Wrong move! According to Katie, such a statement is "the meanest thing you could say to anyone", and, naturally, a verbal fight ensued. Clip above.

clips

MTV's Beauty Queens: Fun, Ditsy, And Vindictive


So, judging by last night's episode, MTV's Pageant Place — which follows the reign and cohabitation of Miss Universe, Miss USA, and Miss Teen USA — has lots of potential, due to a curve ball thrown at the beauty queens: Former Miss USA, the famously-rehabbed Tara Conner, moves into the house with them. Also, Miss Universe, an impossibly-tall Japanese girl — who had to show her Miss Universe sash as ID in the airport after forgetting her passport — is totally awesome. When she moved into the apartment and saw her bedroom she screamed "Oooh! Pink!" and clapped her hands.

clips

More Proof That The Japanese Do Everything Better


During last night's Miss Universe pageant in Mexico City, Miss USA Rachel Smith took a bit of a tumble during the evening-gown portion competition. The mostly Mexican crowd booed her, and Miss Japan Riyo Mori went on to win the whole enchilada. (Get it? Mexico? Enchilada? Yeah, we don't even amuse ourselves anymore.)

miss america

'Miss America' On Last Educated, Mystic Tanned Legs, But America's Pursuit Of Well-Rounded Ideal Persists

When the Miss America Pageant, ditched by Viacom owned CMT, finally goes the way of Elle Girl — online only (but so Web 2.0!) — some, like Nashville's Ralph Emery, may see it as a blow to that "little piece of Americana" that is the promotion of lofty goals (scholarship) alongside loftier ones (swimsuit-wearing!) More »

trump

Oh I'm Sorry I Forgot I Wasn't An Actress

Those could've been the tearful words of still reigning Miss USA Tara Conner. After a week of "will she or won't she get canned for being the LiLo of the pageant world?" The Donald came through with a resounding "no." He said, ""I believe she can do a tremendous service to young people." Indeed, Tara can inspire the youth to grow up to be Cokey McDrunks when they move to the big city. Get 'em while they're young. More »