• In this video, Miss Universe contestants are shown participating in the "Condom Olympics" three days before the pageant on August 23. The event was sponsored by the AIDS prevention group Population Services International, and the women were asked to blow up condoms until they burst, fill them with water, and conduct condom demonstrations. A representative for the group says they were preparing the new Miss Universe to be an Ambassador for Youth AIDS and "Often times, target populations are illiterate or of low literacy and we need to find ways to reach them through engaging activities that don't rely on written materials." Conservative groups are upset that the activities didn't promote abstinence and PSI was founded by pornographer Phil Harvey. • Amber Alerts were created for stranger abductions in which a child is in danger, but LiveScience columnist Benjamin Radford argues that there are too many false alarms. Most abductions are committed by a non-custodial parent or family member and don't qualify for the notification. One study found that of all the Amber Alerts issued in 2004, police had violated protocol by issuing the alert in 70 percent of the cases. • Australian Tegan Leach, 19, is waiting to see if she'll have to stand trial for giving herself an abortion at home. Her boyfriend may be charged with supplying a drug to procure an abortion and both have been charged with procuring an abortion, which carries a maximum sentence of seven years. Police found empty Ukrainian blister packs they say may have contained pills that induce abortion. Abortion laws in Australia vary by state, but they are illegal in Queensland, where she lives, unless the mother's life is in jeopardy. • Iranian MPs have approved the the first female minister in the republic's 30-year history. Marzieh Vahid Dastjerdi, who will be the health minister, is a hard-line conservative who has proposed introducing gender-segregated health care in Iran in the past. President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad nominated three women for cabinet positions but MPs rejected the other two women he picked to be social security minister and education minister. • A study of 1,000 Iranian high school students suggests family history may determine whether or not teens get severe acne. Of the teens whose parents or siblings had moderate to severe acne, 20 percent had the same problem, compared to only 10 percent of those teen with no family history. • Russia's supreme court has cancelled the retrial of four men accused of being involved in the murder of investigative journalist Anna Politkovskaya in 2006. Prosecutors have been ordered to begin a new investigation into the involvement of the suspected gunman as well as the four men. In the decision the court sided with the journalist's family, who argued a retrial would take attention away from finding who planned the murder. • Primatologists at New York's Stony Brook University have found that pregnant female gorillas continue mating with males to prevent other females from mating with him. "It seems to us that mating is another tactic that females use to compete with each other – in this case to gain favour with another male," said one researcher, who believes this behavior may help explain how humans evolved into a generally monogamous species. • People have continued secretly visiting Neda Agha-Soltan's grave in Behesht-e Zahra cemetery even though Basij paramilitary vigilantes have threatened to harass or arrest mourners. Authorities may have decided to bury her and other opposition martyrs there because the cemetery is large and located an hour outside Tehran, but people have figured out where Neda's grave is and leave flower petals on the site. • Researchers studied 32 women with postpartum depression and found that 17 of the mothers, or 53%, felt suicidal. This group was also felt they were less prepared for motherhood and had greater difficulty responding to their infant's needs than those who were not suicidal. • Australian scientists tested cancerous breast cells and found several strains of HPVs known to have a high risk of initiating cervical cancer. "The finding that high risk HPV is present in a significant number of breast cancers indicates they may have a causal role in many breast cancers," said one researcher. "Confirming a cancer-causing role for HPV in some breast cancers establishes the possibility of preventing some breast cancers by vaccination against HPV. • Dirty Diaries, a collection of 12 short pornographic films shot by a feminist documentary maker Mia Engberg and funded by taxpayers is premiering in Sweden tonight. "Porn has always been made by men for men," said Engberg, "Above all, it's about showing sexuality through a female's perspective. It's not made to please a male audience and it's not made to make money," she added. • A 68-year-old nun was arrested for drunk driving on Long Island, New York on Tuesday after crashing into a tree. She was driving a car that belonged to the church and almost hit a group of children playing on their lawn. Police found a water bottle filled with alcohol in the car and say her blood-alcohol level was more than twice the legal limit. • A 68-year-old Salt Lake City woman who held the Guinness World Record for her long fingernails lost them in February when they broke during a car crash. She says it's much easier to move her hands now without the weight of her fingernails, which measured as long as 2 feet, 11 inches. She's not going to try to grow them out again because it took her 30 years to get them to that length and she doesn't think she'll live that long. •

1.) David Cassidy Is A Creep

2.) Drunk Babies

3.) Drunk Housewife

4.) How Can Someone Sound Sage and Delusional at the Same Time?

I could listen to her all day long.

5.) Kathie Lee Gifford and Kim Jenner Are BFF
And they have Wendy Williams' approval.

6.) Hoarders
It's good.


Spiritually good.

7.) Brad from The Rachel Zoe Project

8.) White Rappers

9.) Wedlock or Deadlock
Strangely, this is real.

10.) Language Barrier
Miss Universe 2009—who was crowned on Sunday after saying that women no longer have "barriers"—is learning English.

Back stage at the Miss Universe pageant, Heidi made this woman very uncomfortable when she began giving Spencer a lap dance.



Visual Ipecac:

Videos courtesy of MTV/The After Show.

P.S. Judge:

Recap tomorrow.

• Surprise, surprise: Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt are a "complete nightmare" for the people working on the Miss Universe pageant in the Bahamas, where Heidi is supposed to perform on Sunday night. An insider says:

"Heidi has missed many rehearsals… Spencer tried to demand that the hotel pay him to lay by the pool." Dear Miss Universe People: You have no one to blame but yourselves. [Page Six]

• BREAKING: Courtney Love caught in bed with a turtle. [The Sun]
• Renée Zellweger dared to attend a movie premiere without Bradley Cooper; he took his parents and not Renée to Alyssa Milano's wedding. Scandalous. [Page Six]
• Jon Gosselin visited kids with cancer at an NYC hospital on Tuesday, possibly in an attempt to rehabilitate his image? [Us]
• Authorities now suspect that reality show "star" Ryan Alexander Jenkins — suspected of killing his wife, Jasmine Fiore — crossed over the Canadian border on foot after driving his SUV to Blaine, Washington. [TMZ]
• Save the date: September 14. Whitney Houston will give her first full-length interview in almost seven years to… Oprah. Of course. As you may recall, in 2002, Whitney sat down with Diane Sawyer, and memorably declared: "Crack is cheap. I make too much money to ever smoke crack." [Mirror, NY Daily News]
• Venus and Serena Williams are in talks to become part owners in the Miami Dolphins. [AP]
• Magician David Copperfield has been sued for sexual assault. The woman is a 22-year-old fashion model and alleges that the incident happened when she was a guest on his private island in the Bahamas in 2007. She says he attacked and sexually assaulted her, threatening to kill her if she didn't go along. [TMZ]
• Jay Leno's new show will spotlight new young comedians. "I hope people become famous and get offered shows." But he won't just have "a bunch of white guys doing standup" — he plans to have a "diverse group," including women, African-Americans and other minorities. [AP]
• Will Paula Abdul return to American Idol? Focus groups may make that decision. "Fox loves focus groups," an insider says. "If Paula consistently scores far higher than any other person in her chair, they will feel compelled to make her an offer she can't refuse and make this deal happen." Another source says: "There will be four judges at American Idol come January. And that fourth judge will be Paula Abdul." [MSNBC]
• Paula Abdul's manager says that there have been "no discussions whatsoever about Idol." [LA Times]
• Amy Winehouse went out to dinner and then for drinks and the paparazzi took snaps of her a little tipsy on her way home and zoomed in on her nose and claim there's a "mystery substance" up her nose but honestly you can't see a damn thing. [Daily Mail]
• "Got Line Flu Amy?" [The Sun]
• "Oprah Winfrey and her favorite physician, "Dr. Oz," filed suit yesterday to shut down more than 500 Web sites that falsely claim the pair endorses the sites' diet pills and miracle cures." [NY Post]
• Russell Brand wears a top hat, dances in the streets and sings the lyrics "sexual rewards" in this new MTV VMA promo. [ONTD]
• Expect to see heavy cross-promotion between Project Runway and Harvey Weinstein-produced flick Nine. [Page Six]
• Pauly Shore pulled a Christian Bale and had an on-set meltdown while filming Brand Dead. Seems fake, but you be the judge. [TMZ, TMZ]
• A source says Jennifer Hudson thinks of her newborn child as a gift from beyond after her family was murdered: "She wasn't trying to get pregnant… She believes her mother played a part in sending this gift from God. She tells everyone her mother sent this baby to pull her through this." [MSNBC Scoop]
• Eva Longoria will star in a Mexican film about kidnapping, which means she will be in a Spanish-speaking role for the first time. [AP]
• Figure skater Brian Boitano is now a TV chef, with his Food Network show, What Would Brian Boitano Make? premiering Sunday. Turns out the Oylmpic gold medalist is a foodie, and the Food Network's VP of programming says his passion and command of cooking is "one of the biggest, happiest surprises I've gotten in my career." [LA Times]
• As mentioned yesterday, Leona Lewis tracks have been leaked onto the Internet. One was a song produced by Justin Timberlake. A police investigation is ongoing. [Daily Mail]
• Pete Doherty is planning on getting the Libertines back together, even if Carl "Biggles" Barat doesn't want to join. "If Biggles doesn't want to do it or gets cold feet or he thinks I'm still a crackhead, what am I going to do? Maybe I could reform the Libertines without him, like he did without me. I wouldn't really want to, but you've got to pay the bills. I'll put an advert in the NME: 'Carlos lookalike required.'" [Independent]
• District 9 sequel? Maybe. It's already being referred to as District 10. [NY Daily News]
• Nora Jones is about to release her first album in three years; this column claims she has a new look and a new sound. (Cute hair!) [USA Today]
• Phil Spector has been writing letters from prison: He fears for his safety, enjoys visits from his wife and would like to be moved to "a better prison." [USA Today]
• "I loved New York, even back then (1980s graffiti-scarred, pre-Giuliani New York). It was such an overwhelming animal. I loved the energy and attitude of the place. It's great for being productive and creative." —Eric Bana, who's on the cover of Men's Health. [Just Jared]
• "It's a lot of material to fill. It is a lot of jokes. This is lot more work. A lot more work. You're doing probably three shows worth of comedy every night. On The Tonight Show we had maybe two talking guests and a band. That's not a lot of work for me. But this will be a lot more work." — Jay Leno on his new show. [Reuters]
• "I remember sensing that my mother was holding something back from me. I used to think I had done something wrong because she could be so distant. I knew there was something going on that I didn't know about and because I was a child I thought it was my fault. It took me years to work out that she had actually been protecting me from racism… There were comments and my mother kept all that away from us and to do that she had be a barrier between us and them." — Thandie Newton, who says she and her brother were the only mixed-race kids in their area when growing up. [Daily Express]
• "Before I played Ari Gold, I was in probably 40 movies and playing a lot of very soft-spoken characters, also-rans, best friends and whatnot. That was all easily forgotten as soon as I put Ari's power suit on." — Jeremy Piven. [Time]
• "[The culture here] isn't based on anything other than ‘Who got a boob job?' That's what I feel L.A. is about. A lot of people here want to be everyone but themselves." — Mila Kunis. [Just Jared]
• "Oh my God! I was on the set of Two and a Half Men when I heard. I had all these texts, and at first I thought it was a hoax. What struck me was I hadn't seen him in years, and when I think about it, I really owe an enormous amount of my career to him. And it made me sad because it made me realize that you've really got to let people know it when you're grateful to them. They won't always be here and I regret that I didn't do that. But I have very fond memories. He was a lovely guy and knew exactly what he wanted. He'll be greatly missed." — Jon Cryer on the death of John Hughes. [Reuters]
• "I was talking to my friend about [whether monogamy] is feasible, is it realistic? I resolved that there isn't really a better model. We just can't shake monogamy. It definitely demands a kind of rigor and discipline and selflessness. But it's also fun." — Claire Danes, to BlackBook. [Page Six]
• "I like clever folks. I like people who are concerned with [what] the path they leave behind them looks like… Empathy, humor, wit, self reliance and honesty. [Being attractive] doesn't hurt." —Renée Zellweger, on what she looks for in a man. [People]

Californians, aren't you so super psyched to be in the news? The "Public Service Announcement" promotes something about you guys, although it's unclear what. Black and white photography? Tank tops? Hair which curls on your shoulders? There are veiled references to Carrie Prejean — Brook Lee, Miss Universe 1997, says, "I believe when I express my opinion, I have the responsibility to do it respectfully." Uh, okay. A smattering of other Misses echo, "with respect, respect, respect!" Meagan Tandy, Miss California USA 2007, arms crossed so we can't see if her boobs are fake or not, says, "I believe Californians may disagree on some things, but we all take pride in our state's diversity." Well, you may believe that, but that doesn't make it true! If you blink, you'll miss Miss California Pageant president Shanna Moakler. But you will see Tami Ferrell, Miss Teen USA 2003 and Miss California 2009 runner-up, who is now the "Beauty of California ambassador." She was the one some thought might (dun dun dun) take Carrie Prejean's crown!

Anyway, all of this is not to say that the PSA is terrible. It's not. I mean, I don't know what it's for, but it seems like it's trying to be positive. And if you're into hearing a bunch of women — who rose to "fame" while laquered with makeup and wearing bikinis — talking earnestly about what they "believe" while dressed down and shot in black and white to look "serious" — then this clip is for you! Such as. The rest of us will just be patiently waiting until all of these people, and what they believe, are, once again, irrelevant. Clip below.

Beauty Ambassador Tami Farrell In Miss California 'Diversity' PSA [LA Times]
MISS CALIFORNIA USA "I BELIEVE" PSA [YouTube]
Earlier: Miss California Official Goes After Intolerance By Name
Did California Pageant Officials Buy Carrie Prejean New Breasts?
Miss California Stars In Anti-Gay Marriage Ad
Miss California Doesn't "Believe" In Gay Marriage ("No Offense")
Who Needs A Scholarship When You Can Get Sponsored Breasts?

In the clip at left, Naumoska says she flew all the way from Australia to appear on GMA because she wants to defend all the slender people who are victimized by what Sawyer calls "skinnyism." Naumoska explains, "I think that a role model shouldn't be judged by their appearance but rather by their actions or their lifestyle." Obviously, it's hypocritical for someone who was being ranked based on how she looks in a swimsuit to complain that people shouldn't be judged by their appearance. However, whether Naumoska is healthy or not, Sawyer holding a plate up to the camera so America could analyze exactly what she puts in her mouth made our skin crawl.

Earlier: Outraged Aussies Say Miss Universe Contestant Is "Skin And Bones"

The Good:
As usual, Carine Roitfeld looks perfect, although she could stand to lose the Kenneth Cole accessory.
Sure she might've fallen during the pageant, but Miss Universe Riya Mori had one of the most stand-up looks of the evening.
Molly Sims looks cool and effortlessly glam in her almost-sheer sheath.


The Bad:
I'm sure that Lauren Bush is wearing Ralph Lauren, but this dress is just ill-fitting and not at all flattering.
Christy Turlington let me down. This dress is just all wrong for her.


The Ugly:
Who the hell is going to listen to Veronica Webb give fashion advice of Tim Gunn's Guide To Style after seeing her in this monstrosity?
Jennifer Esposito's dress looks like, in the words of Michael Kors, "something the town whore's mom made."

[All images via AP]

The other contestants, according to reports, were out to get Rivera from Day 1 because she had already won Miss World Caribbean 2005. (The haters said she was "too experienced" and should be disqualified. And after she won Puerto Rico's Miss Universe feeder pageant this weekend, her rivals said she bought the crown.) We are crossing our fingers that the CW's upcoming mother/daughter pageant showdown, Crowned has this kind of rampant psycho bitchery!

Beauty Queen Undeterred By Attack [BBC News]
PR Pageant Officials Probe Pepper Spray [Breitbart via AP]

• Ivanka Trump strikes out on her on, forging the path to independence utilized by kids with trust funds everywhere: She's designing an eponymous jewelry collection, and the pieces are rich with detail. Because nothing says, More Than Just Another Shallow Heiress! like a signature clasp that pays homage to your inlaid-coral bathroom. [WWD, sub req'd]
  
• Miss Universe contestants learned an old trick from the pages of the Peace Corps Diet earlier this week: Mexican tap water is cheaper than Ex-Lax, and just as effective! [WWD, 3rd item]
  
• Just days after solving the health care crisis, Donna Karan announced she is embarking on a new "initiative": Accessories! [WWD, sub req'd]
  
• Polo Ralph Lauren is raking it in, probably with those polo shirts with the gigantic rat-sized logos that are so very, very understatedly WASP. [WSJ, sub req'd]

• The new Prada cell phone sure is pretty, even if it doesn't, uh, always have a working battery. [Forbes.com]
• Manolo Blahnik is launching a blog. You can't be seriously expecting us to think up another Sex And The City joke. [Vogue UK]