Those are the words of Keith Lewis, the pageant's executive director, who also says this year's competition, "will change the essence of Miss California USA from a bathing suit beauty contest to the style of a runway show during fashion week." I'm not sure that "a runway show during fashion week" is actually more "progressive" than a "bathing suit beauty contest," but Lewis's statement does seem to imply that the pageant wants to move far away from everything last year's Miss California, Carrie Prejean, stood for.

From the emails they exchanged, it's safe to assume that Lewis is no big fan of the deposed Prejean. And I'm willing to bet that more than one pageant organizer was unhappy with an "opposite-marriage" advocate representing California (as a transplanted Californian myself, I thought the combination of Prejean and Prop. 8 made "our forward- looking state" seem pretty backward). Carrie Prejean only added to the existing stereotype that beauty pageants are for hyper-conventional women with reactionary values, and Miss California may be trying to de-pageant itself in order to escape this perception. The organization also plans to name two winners at its November 22 competition — if they really want to change their image, maybe they should crown a couple.

Miss California USA Strips Away Swimsuits [MyDesert.com]

• Madonna has flown a nanny and a nurse to Malawi to look after Mercy while adoption papers and visas are being arranged. The deal's not done and the kid already has an entourage! [The Sun]

• Newsworthy: Megan Fox wore a red dress with a slit up to there and no bra and says, "I'm currently what you would call single I guess." [The Sun]
• Rihanna and Chris Brown were both at Game 4 of the NBA finals in Orlando on Thursday, and Chris went over where Rihanna and her posse were sitting and shook hands with all of her friends. But Rihanna was at the game to see Magic forward Rashard Lewis, "whom she's currently crushing on." [Gatecrasher]
• Usher is singing "You make me wanna… file for divorce" to wife Tameka Foster. [NY Daily News]
• "Fragile Susan Boyle dramatically dropped out of the Britain's Got Talent tour yesterday." [The Sun]
• Officials say Susan Boyle's cancellation was just a "one-off rest day." [NY Post]
• SHOCKER: Jon and Kate did not spend their 10th wedding anniversary together. [NY Daily News]
• As previously mentioned, Bruce Willis' daughter Tallulah is an intern at Bazaar, but the Post points out that since she's 15 and unpaid, it's in violation of federal labor laws. Bazaar clarifies: "Tallulah is a guest of Harper's Bazaar, shadowing our editors for a couple of weeks." [Page Six]
• Behold: Bruce Willis and new wife in some kind of "fetishistic shoot." She seems to be wearing those ankle-wrenching Nina Ricci shoes; he seems to be wearing very little. Won't someone think of the 15-year-old intern??? [NY Post]
• "BRAD PITT GOES ON ART BUYING BINGE." Well, he bought one painting. [Page Six]
• Brad Pitt's brother Doug has announced that the The Brad Pitt family is donating $1 million to establish an endowment fund to pay cancer specialists at St. John's hospital in Springfield , MO — the the center will be renamed St. John's Jane Pitt Pediatric Cancer Center in honor of their mother. [News-Leader]
• Lady GaGa dyes her dark hair blonde because she was once mistaken for Amy Winehouse: "Amy is a badass but I want to be known for my own look." Oh, you are, dear. You are. [The Sun]
• Dolly Parton in a Girl Scouts uniform! [Star Tribune]
• Prince Harry is pining for ex Chelsy Davy and told a friend, "I lost the best thing that ever happened to me." New love interest Caroline Flack doesn't have enough Ys in her name, so she's out of the picture. [The Sun]
• Re: Chaz Bono's sex change: The only regret? He wishes he had done it sooner. [TMZ]
• Three words: Octomom The Musical. [People]
• The new Miss California USA, Tami Farrell, says: "I'm trying my best to kind of calm the waters… I think that everything in life happens for a reason, and I'm just blessed to have this opportunity." These statements were made while she was attending the Playboy Jazz Festival at the Hollywood Bowl. Obviously. [CNN]
• Kelly Preston is in a PSA promoting healthy food for kids; you can watch it at the link. [People]
• Even though she's on tour with No Doubt, Gwen Stefani says: "My priorities are always going to be my husband and my family now. That's a huge, huge thing." [NY Daily News]
• SCANDAL: Justin "I'm A Mac" Long doesn't have an iPhone. [Page Six]
• Check out this silly interview with Shawn Wayans and his nephews, who are responsible for Dance Flick. Among Shawn's quips: "Obama is a superhero, man… Obama takes his kids to school and then he goes to work and saves the economy." [NY Times]
• Paul McCartney thinks you should go vegetarian at least once a week, to help the environment. Hence: Meat Free Monday. What's it gonna be tonight, folks? Mac and cheese? Falafel? Ice cream sundaes? [Telegraph]
• Sarah Silverman has a book of "autobiographical essays" coming out next April. [Page Six]
• Morgan Freeman is being sued for negligence regarding that horrible car crash last August; he denies the allegations. [E!]
• Though she stopped receiving treatment for anal cancer about a month ago, Farrah Fawcett's condition has not changed; she is still "stable." [Fox News]
• Does Sharon Osbourne owe $23,363.16 in California State taxes? [TMZ]
• Dennis Quaid has been cast as Bill Clinton in The Special Relationship, a film about the former president and Tony Blair — and Quaid's been "encouraged" to gain about 25 pounds. "It's Dennis's worst nightmare," says a source. "He is really health-conscious, but has been asked to follow the same diet as Clinton and gorge himself on Big Macs and Coca-Cola." The horror. [Telegraph]
• "Nine years, 18 seasons and 15 iterations of wilderness later, Survivor host Jeff Probst is a man of simple needs: A shower to call his own and a movie theater within driving distance." The ultimate Survivor? [LA Times]
• Tracey Ullman's show, State Of The Union, is available on Showtime in the US, but the BBC won't buy it. [Daily Express]
• Oh, dear: Those people suing Miley Cyrus for defaming Asians in her "slanty eye" picture got a judge who uses the word "orientals." Obviously they want him off the case. [TMZ]
• A lawsuit filed against Michael Jackson won't stop his comeback tour in London. [MSNBC]
• "The amusement-park rides, elephants and orangutans have been hauled away… Bats hang over the doorway to the building that housed Mr. Jackson's private arcade; guano stains the threshold." — from an update on the property known as Neverland, once the home of Michael Jackson. [WSJ]
• In a conversation with David Cross, he reveals that he has a publicist for the first time ever — at the urging of his girlfriend Amber Tamblyn; he has a book coming out in August,; and, he says: Alvin and the Chipmunks paid me more than all my other projects combined." He just finished the sequel. [LA Times]
• Katie "Jordan" Price on husband Peter Andre: "He's treating our split like a publicity stunt to relaunch his career." [Mirror]
• Hundreds of mourners gathered at a funeral for David Carradine in Hollywood on Saturday; music included The Beatles' "Let It Be" and Ludwig von Beethoven's "Requiem for a Fallen Hero." [AP]
• Oooh, Ghostbusters: Where Are They Now? [NY Daily News]
• John Amos, known for his roles in Roots, The West Wing and as the dad in Good Times, debuted his country single, "We Were Hippies," as part of the 2009 CMA Music Week in Nashville. [UPI]
• Did you know that David Bowie has a 38-year-old son, Duncan Jones? And did you know that he directed the new Sam Rockwell flick, Moon? [Patricia Glassop, the mother of late INXS singer Michael Hutchence says she hasn't seen her son's only daughter in years — Tiger Lily, 12, is being raised by Sir Bob Geldof, who is responsible for the ladies known as Peaches and Pixie. "Bob hasn't exactly been a role model in the parenting stakes when you look at the behavior of Peaches and Pixie. Glassop says: "Bob hasn't exactly been a role model in the parenting stakes when you look at the behavior of Peaches and Pixie." Ouch! [This Is London]
• "If you're going to be an actress you can't be coy. Breasts are sexy. I want to see them and audiences want to see them. I've had to do my fair share of it. If you're going to be an actress or a model it's usually part of the package. Men don't have to worry because their private parts don't make pleasant viewing, she thinks. "We don't want to see willies because they're ugly. We want to see breasts because they're beautiful." — Rachel Ward, whom you may have seen in The Thorn Birds. [Daily Express]
• "I stand by what I said. They did copy my song but I don't think they did it on purpose. I have even copied myself without even knowing I have done it. I'll write down what I think is a good melody and realise it's the same as something I have already done. I don't want them to think I am angry with them. I'd love to sit down and have a cup of tea with them and let them know it's okay." — Yusuf Islam, aka Cat Stevens, on Coldplay. [Daily Express]
• "If any of you have a project entitled Everlasting Love With an Adult Stable Male, I'm at table 6 and my agents are at table 12!" — Jennifer Aniston, joking about her single status at an awards dinner. [E!]
• "Christina is basically a woman with a God complex that's really going to have to, like, get real. She's going to have to learn to take care of herself as intensely as the patients." — Jada Pinkett Smith, on her character in Hawthorne, who is the only African-American woman to carry an hour-long drama (along with Jill Scott in The No. 1 Ladies' Detective Agency) since 1974. [NY Times]
• "It's dangerous to bring this up, I talked about him in an interview not long ago, saying that I still love him, and he was like, 'Please stop talking about it.'" — Sienna Miller on Jude Law. [Mirror via Vogue]
• "In some ways, I was waiting for that cyclical swing back. Everything has a time and a space. I feel like something's changing. Especially when Amy Winehouse came out, I'm talking to 17-year-olds that I know, and they're freaking out about her. That's when I thought, things are getting fresh." — singer Maxwell, on his return. [WWD]
• "Amanda's such a hot mess that it's a dream to play her, although now of course people assume I'm a bitch in real life, when I'm actually the least intimidating person around. I sometimes wish I could channel Amanda. I was in a store the other day and the cashier was mean to me. I felt like doing an Amanda and shouting, 'Listen, maybe you should learn to dress better!' but I just couldn't." — Becki Newton, who plays Amanda Tanen on Ugly Betty. [Daily Mail]
• "Family life revolves around Elizabeth. If we decided to go on holiday, the first questions are: can Elizabeth go? Will she be okay? Will she have fun? That's the way it's always been, and that's just fine by me." — Eva Longoria on her 42-year-old sister, who has Down Syndrome but is "highly functional" and graduated high school and is now a special education teacher. [Daily Mail]
• "I was Cornish Gamehen for a while, which was bizarre. But for the last couple years, I have been Meryl Inch — however, there is too much of a debacle going on there these days to continue that. So I have to come up with something creative." — Mandy Moore, on what name she uses when she checks into a hotel. [CNN]
• "Reality is an elusive seductress. I like watching her hips move." — Tori Amos. [Times Of London]

Californians, aren't you so super psyched to be in the news? The "Public Service Announcement" promotes something about you guys, although it's unclear what. Black and white photography? Tank tops? Hair which curls on your shoulders? There are veiled references to Carrie Prejean — Brook Lee, Miss Universe 1997, says, "I believe when I express my opinion, I have the responsibility to do it respectfully." Uh, okay. A smattering of other Misses echo, "with respect, respect, respect!" Meagan Tandy, Miss California USA 2007, arms crossed so we can't see if her boobs are fake or not, says, "I believe Californians may disagree on some things, but we all take pride in our state's diversity." Well, you may believe that, but that doesn't make it true! If you blink, you'll miss Miss California Pageant president Shanna Moakler. But you will see Tami Ferrell, Miss Teen USA 2003 and Miss California 2009 runner-up, who is now the "Beauty of California ambassador." She was the one some thought might (dun dun dun) take Carrie Prejean's crown!

Anyway, all of this is not to say that the PSA is terrible. It's not. I mean, I don't know what it's for, but it seems like it's trying to be positive. And if you're into hearing a bunch of women — who rose to "fame" while laquered with makeup and wearing bikinis — talking earnestly about what they "believe" while dressed down and shot in black and white to look "serious" — then this clip is for you! Such as. The rest of us will just be patiently waiting until all of these people, and what they believe, are, once again, irrelevant. Clip below.

Beauty Ambassador Tami Farrell In Miss California 'Diversity' PSA [LA Times]
MISS CALIFORNIA USA "I BELIEVE" PSA [YouTube]
Earlier: Miss California Official Goes After Intolerance By Name
Did California Pageant Officials Buy Carrie Prejean New Breasts?
Miss California Stars In Anti-Gay Marriage Ad
Miss California Doesn't "Believe" In Gay Marriage ("No Offense")
Who Needs A Scholarship When You Can Get Sponsored Breasts?

[New York, May 12. Image via Getty]

• Brooke Shields is contradicting her own reps, who said she wasn't involved in the Kiefer Sutherland headbutting incident. Now she says she "was bumped into by Jack McCollough and Kiefer Sutherland became concerned."

• In a statement issued through her lawyer she added, "Kiefer has always been a gentleman in her company. Both Jack and Kiefer are friends of Ms. Shields and she regrets this unfortunate situation." [TMZ]
• Kiefer Sutherland's rep says he's "troubled by the untruthful and self-serving information circulating regarding Kiefer..." and is confident that the D.A. will throw out the assault charge against him. [TMZ]
• Kiefer Sutherland's rep added, "out of respect for this law enforcement process," Kiefer "will not be making any comment." [People]
• Shanna Moakler and Keith Lewis, co-directors of Miss California USA, announced at a press conference that they have appointed the pageant's first runner up, Tami Farrell, the organization's "ambassador," negating Carrie Prejean's role as Miss California. Lewis explained, "If Miss California is unavailable, or if it would be unwise to put her in a specific appearance, we now have an ambassador to represent us." He added, "We've been hijacked at the moment; we've been unable to do the work at hand." [ABC News]
• Miss California USA officials also passed out a booklet at the press conference called, "Miss USA 2009 State Entry Contract: Sections violated by Carrie Prejean." In addition to Prejean's violations, it says the role of the new "Beauty of California Ambassador" is to take the reigns when the "Miss California USA or Miss California Teen USA titleholder is unavailable." [TMZ]
• Farrah Fawcett says she would have appreciated privacy during her 2.5 year battle with anal cancer, but the paparazzi have continued following her. "It's much easier to go through something and deal with it without being under a microscope," she says. She's particularly mad about a December 2006 National Enquirer story called "Farrah Begs: 'Let Me Die." She says, "God, I would never say something like that. To think that people who did look up to me and felt positive because I was going through it too and yet I was strong … it just negated all that." [People]
• When Farrah Fawcett found out her cancer had returned in May 2007 she didn't tell her family and friends at first because she wanted to prove her theory that someone at UCLA was leaking her medical information to the tabloids. "I set it up with the doctor," said Farrah. "I said, 'OK, you know and I know.' . . . I knew that if it came out, it was coming from UCLA." The leaker, Lawanda Jackson, was paid $4,600 by the National Enquirer. She pleaded guilty in December to the charges, but died in March of cancer, before the sentencing. [The L.A. Times]
• 20-year-old Dania Marin has filed for a restraining order against Ryan O'Neal because she says he's been harassing her with lewd phone calls. "He asked me if I wanted to masturbate with him. Offered me a car back if I would engage with him," she claims. "He freaked me out. I filed the retraining order because I was afraid that he knew where I lived or would come to my house. He's old enough to be my grandfather." [The Daily Express]
• Michael Jackson's London concerts may not happen because the company that was putting together a series of concerts featuring Michael, Janet Jackson, and the rest of the family, have sent a cease and desist letter to the organizers of MJ's solo concerts. They say Jackson signed a contract saying he wouldn't make another concert deal for 18 months. [TMZ]
• In a new interview, Nadya Suleman says she "exaggerated" when she said recently that she was having half of her uterus removed so she couldn't have more kids. She says she's having a "myomectomy," a procedure to remove fibriods from her uterus. She says it will actually boost her fertility, but she doesn't plan on having any more. [Radar]
• Leonardo DiCaprio and Kate Winslet say they will donate to a fund set up to pay the nursing home fees for Millvina Dean, the last living Titanic survivor. The British woman has been selling off Titanic memorabilia recently because she can't afford the fees for her nursing home, where she has lived for three years. [USA Today]
• David Hasselhoff's ex, Pamela Bach, has asked the judge in their divorce to order Hasselhoff to maintain life insurance, which would pay her support if David dies. Hasselhoff says that wasn't part of their divorce deal. [TMZ]
• Harrison Ford and Calista Flockhart are trying to adopt a girl. "Harrison's begun the process of adopting Liam too," says a source. "He's been a father figure to the boy almost since day one." [Star]
• Though George Clooney says he'd be happy to take a lie detector test to prove that Rande Gerber is not guilty of sexual harassment, the two former waitresses suing Gerber have refused to take the test. [TMZ]
• When asked about his kissing scene with co-star Jennifer Aniston in The Baster, Jason Bateman said, "It felt ... It was a good scene, I'll say that. It was a good scene." [People]
• Matthew Reeve, Christopher Reeve's son, is running the New York City Marathon to raise money for his father's foundation, which helps people with spinal cord injuries. [AP]
• Kim Kardashian says her step-father, Bruce Jenner, "has gotten a lot of media criticism in the past for getting an ill-advised partial facelift and a nose job," 25 years ago. She wrote on her blog, "Unfortunately, the result wasn't what Bruce had hoped for ... Since he's turning 60 in October, Bruce felt it was time to correct the mistakes made by the previous doctor so he went to a new doctor for a second facelift. The results are amazing! Bruce looks better than ever and he is extremely happy with the result." [People]
• "I have acne scars. I'm self-conscious about that, so sometimes I wear too much makeup to cover them up. I got acne at the start of my career. It was a stressful time. I have insecurities like anyone." - Katy Perry. [Perez Hilton]
• Ginnifer Goodwin says, "I perpetuate rumors that I've dated people that I've never actually dated ... Dorothy Parker once said something along the lines of, ‘I don't care what's written about me so long as it isn't true.' It's safe making." [W]
• When reporters harassed Fergie about when she and husband Josh Duhamel are going to have kids, she said, "Now, it's all about the Black Eyed Peas ... We'll see. At the end of this run that we're doing right now, whatever feels natural and right. I always follow my gut. So, whatever it's going to tell me is going to be right." [People]
• Jamie Foxx will host the BET Awards on June 28. [UPI]
• One week after his brother died of cancer at 37, David Cook has resumed his tour. Halfway through the song "Lie" he stopped and told the audience, "It's gonna be tough for me. I'm sorry. Do you mind if I sing a different song?" [E!]
• Morrissey has cancelled a concert in London due to an undisclosed illness. [The Mirror]
• George Hamilton says of his sexual relationship with his step-mother that began when he was 12, "It really didn't seem that strange to me. I think I'd developed enough sexual energy by then to find the whole thing… well, interesting. When I look back on it, I don't think my life was changed as a result. I certainly don't think it was abuse. If anything, I think it made sex less important. I'd lost my virginity quite early on, and this freed me up. I wasn't so preoccupied with sex anymore." [The Telegraph]
• When asked if she is concerned that she is popular in the rest of the world but not the U.S., Kylie Minogue said, "It doesn't frustrate me. It's frustrating being asked about it and the assumption that it's something really missing in my career and in my life. [Yahoo]
• For those of you fluent in U.K. gossip, Jordan and Peter Andre have split up after five years of marriage. [The Sun]
• Michael Emerson says of playing Ben Linus on Lost, "It's more physical than I ever dreamt. I mean, I thought I had reached an age where I wouldn't be doing combat anymore. I was going to be one of those old codgers. The heavy lifting I would be doing dramatically would be cigarette holders and martinis. Of course, none of that's worked out and now here I am rolling around in the jungle, fighting and shooting. I feel naked on the show if I'm not covered with bruises and dried blood." [The Huffington Post]
• Before he serves a yearlong prison sentence for possession of illegal firearms, T.I. blogged on the Huffington Post, "Through this painful process of going to court and being convicted, I realized that I had to make a change." He writes, "I hope that through my mistakes, young people can begin to learn, as I did, that we have to put our guns down and start to give our guns back. It pains me inside to hear about so many of our people dying because of gun violence." E!]
• In one of Eminem's new songs he raps about Mariah Carey, saying, "Mariah whatever happened to us? Why did we ever have to break-up? ... Nick Cannon, you prick, I wish you luck with the fuckin whore." Nick Cannon has responded, posting on his blog, "Man to man, let's meet up and deal with this like adults ... Miss Marshall, I'm going to make you wish you never spoke my name and regret the ungodly things you said about my wife." Cannon continues, "Your legacy has now been tainted from this day forth! You will now be known as the rapper who lost to corny-ass Nick Cannon!" [People]

• The National Enquirer claims that Mel Gibson sat his kids down and informed them that his Russian girlfriend, Oksana Grigorieva, is pregnant with his child, and they aren't too happy about it.

• "In late April, Mel gathered his children at the family home in Malibu and broke the news that Oksana is pregnant, and he expects them to accept the baby as a new sibling," said a friend but, "They are quite upset. Even though Mel assured them the pregnancy was unplanned, they're furious with him and say they're going to take steps to protect their inheritance, which they feel is in jeopardy." [The National Enquirer]
• Kate Winslet is suing the U.K. newspaper Daily Mail for £150,000 over an article that claimed she lied about how little she needs to work out to stay in shape. She claims they are guilty of libel because she really doesn't go to the gym. [BBC]
• Sam Mendes and Kevin Spacey are working on the Bridge Project, a British/American action company that will perform the works of Shakespeare and Chekhov on tour. [The Telegraph]
• In an upcoming tell-all book, Lance Armstrong writes that he broke up with fiance Sheryl Crow because she wanted kids. "She wanted marriage, she wanted children; and not that I didn't want that, but I didn't want that at that time because I had just gotten out of a marriage, I'd just had kids. Yet we're up against her biological clock - that pressure is what cracked it," he said. "Because if somebody wants a child - man, that's the greatest gift you can give to a woman - so who are you to stand there and say I don't want one. So we were at different points in our lives. We were not compatible on that issue." [The Daily Express]
• Fashion designer Jack McCollough needed surgery after Kiefer Sutherland allegedly headbutted him. "Mr. McCollough suffered a broken nose in three places as a result of the assault," his rep said. "He received medical treatment last night after consulting with physicians." A source said McCollough, "had to have his nose reset. It's painful and it felt horrible." [People]
• Dina Lohan is defending her parenting skills, claiming that Ali Lohan doesn't just party with her sister Lindsay all day. "Ali is in a home-schooling program. She has never been pulled out of school," Dina says. "It's the same home-schooling program that Lindsay was in since the tenth grade. It's a wonderful program that many celebrities are enrolled in." [People]
• Sarah Palin supports Carrie Prejean and called her to offer support, according to Miss California's father, William Prejean. Prejean added that he's not gay, contrary to reports, but "The gay and lesbian community has been supportive of Carrie," he says, "Everyone comes up to Carrie and says, 'We may not agree with you, but we respect you for what you say and these individuals do not.' And they're very emphatic. 'Do not represent the gay and lesbian community.' " [E!]
• The Miss California pageant's state directors Keith Lewis and Shanna Moakler rallied a group of beauty queens to film a commercial promoting the diversity of California, but Carrie Prejean said she had a "prior personal commitment otherwise she would have been glad to participate." [Fox News]
• Earlier this week Shanna Moakler posed with two other former pageant titleholders, with duct tape over theirs mouths for a pro-gay marriage PSA promoting equal rights and NO on California's Prop 8. Moakler said of the new Miss California diversity ad, "I think it's really important that people understand that though Carrie Prejean is allowed to have her opinions, they don't necessarily coincide with the Miss California Organization." [Perez Hilton]
• The Mexico City premiere of X-Men Origins: Wolverine was postponed due to swine flu, but now Hugh Jackman Tweets: "I will bring Wolverine to Mexico City on May 26 to provide a moment of fun escapism and a treat for some of the loyal fans of the comic ... My thoughts and prayers have been with all of those that have suffered directly or indirectly from the swine flu in Mexico." [E!]
• A source claims that Natalie Portman is the reason Sean Penn filed for divorce from Robin Wright Penn, and that they're still seeing each other. "She stimulates him in ways no other person has, mentally or professionally," says a source. "There's a lot more there with Natalie than any of the other girls Sean's been with." [Star]
• Random people who live near Kate Gosselin of Jon and Kate Plus 8 think that she may have been cheating too. "I heard Kate was getting way too close with her personal trainer, so Jon started cheating," Trisha Berlin, a fellow Pennsylvanian said. Kate has also been linked to her bodyguard, who bloggers call "Mr. Gray." [Star]
• Candy Spelling wrote on the Huffington Post, "I'm not feuding with my daughter [Tori Spelling]. She just doesn't speak to me. And, she's a good marketer." It's not really the best step for a woman who says she wants to finally "mesh" with her daughter. [The Huffington Post]
• David Beckham is denying rumors that he had a dinner date with Hungarian model Mariann Fogarasy. Beckham said: 'Ninety per cent of what is written about us is invented. The last one was this story about the Hungarian model, I have never been out to dinner with this young lady.'I do not flirt with other women - I exist only for Victoria." [The Daily Mail]
• Sacha Baron Cohen bleached his body hair for Bruno and discovered that he is severe allergic to peroxide and required medical treatment. [People]
• Apparently that included bleaching his anal hair. He couldn't sit for days. [TMZ]
• Sienna Miller wrote on The Huffington Post about her trip to the Congo for International Medical Corps. [The Huffington Post]
• Deborah Gibson is trying to get fans to campaign to get her on Dancing With The Stars. She Tweeted: "DWTS won't cast me cuz I did skating show!? I didn't produce it - just on it! Did u guys know that? Start a petition!!!!" [Perez Hilton]
• Whitney Houston is recording a new album. [Perez Hilton]
• John Cleese says alimony payments to his ex-wife Alyce Faye Eichelberger are preventing him from finishing the A Fish Called Wanda musical. II think we've got some very good ideas now but one of the problems is I can't settle down to write it until I've earned enough money to do that because there is no money being paid to me for doing it," he said.
  "Otherwise you lose control of it artistically and I do still have to find £1 million a year in alimony, so I have to earn that before I get started. So I will get down to it when I've done that." [The Daily Mail]
• Did Jaime Hince of The Kills disappear from his tour to spend time with girlfriend Kate Moss? His bandmate was so worried about him she posted an alert on her Facebook page. [The Daily Mail]
• Tori Amos says her new album Abnormally Attracted To Sin is inspired by the financial crisis. She said, "The world has changed completely, it seems, in the past two years. The world that we all knew before, could wake up in feeling safe, ... now it seems that everything has been turned upside down," [Reuters]
• Coldplay drummer Will Champion says of the recent accusations that the band plagiarized Viva La Vida, "It's tough when people accuse you of stealing something when you know that you didn't. So, we accept that it's part of the territory and know it is only for some reason, God only knows why, the successful songs that seem to be the ones that are accused of being stolen. So, you go figure it out." [Rolling Stone]
• Rachel Weisz would like us to know we're mispronouncing her name. "In America everyone says it wrong. It's V-I-C-E. I learned to be polite. I have been here for eight years, but now I am going to start correcting people." [N.Y. Magazine]
• The main lodge at the Soldier Mountain Ski Resort, which is owned by Bruce Willis, will be rebuilt after a March 30 fire. [Yahoo]
• Amy Winehouse is scheduled to perform today at the St. Lucia Jazz Festival, her first appearance in about eight months. [People]
• Gretchen Wilson says she wants to make up with her mother. "As far as I know things are going a lot better with her life than they were previously," said Wilson. "And so I'm thinking that this Mother's Day, we might reconnect." [AP]
• Kendra Wilkinson says her fiancé Hank Baskett will cry at their wedding. "I'm a crier," Wilkinson said. "I laugh. Whenever I feel like crying I'll laugh to overpower it. So I'll be laughing on the way down [the aisle] because I'll see Hank crying," she continued. "I know he'll cry. When I get to him, that's when I'll cry." [E!]
• Christina Applegate is the 2009 Ambassador for Lee National Denim Day to support the fight against breast cancer. [People]
• Jimmy Fallon left the College of St. Rose in Albany in 1995 one semester short of graduation. At commencement this weekend he will receive his diploma and speak at the college. [Yahoo]
• Sex and the City co-star Mario Cantone says of Sarah Jessica Parker's soon-to-be born twin girls, "I'm thrilled for her! She has definitely wanted to have a girl ... She's going to have so much fun bringing the two girls up and teaching them to be young ladies." [People]
• Lane Garrison has been released from rehab. "He stayed at the facility for a couple of hours," says a source. "Because of the work he did as a substance-abuse program leader while he was incarcerated, they said he had already served his time in regards to rehabilitation so it would be redundant considering the work that he had already completed." The courts don't agree, and his has another two to three years of parole left. [ E!]
• Today, after receiving an honorary doctorate of humane and musical letters from the University of Tennessee in Knoxville, Dolly Parton said, "Just think, I am Dr. Dolly!" [AP]
• Brody Jenner has confirmed that Kristen Cavallari is joining The Hills, if anyone cares. [ZackTaylor.ca]
• This article about "What happened when a famous rockstar's 'model' daughter threw a strop on set..." is like a 300 world blind item, but it's Friday, and we're too tired to figure out who it is. [The Daily Mail]
• The White Stripes haven't split up and Jack White says new material won't be, "too far off. Maybe next year." [Rolling Stone]
• Paris Hilton is on vacation with boyfriend Doug Reinhardt, but she keeps posting pictures of the two making out on Twitter with captions like, "My smooches from a secret island." Warning: close up shots of the two making out at the link. [The Sun]
• Gwyneth Paltrow has put a session with her personal trainer Tracy Anderson up for auction on eBay to benefit Clear Water Initiative, a charity that provides clean water to poor areas. [The Daily Express]
• Pink Floyd guitarist David Gilmour is holding a concert at a secret location on May 24 to raise money for the charity Crisis. Fans will be told the location via text message the day before. [The Daily Express]
• Sandra Bullock says since marrying Jesse James in 2005, "I've had to learn a hard lesson in that I'm not allowed to open car doors anymore," Bullock says. "It was so hard for me to allow someone to take care of me. It's not because I can't take care of myself. But Jesse was like, 'Just let me do this.'" [People]
• Daniel Radcliffe has been hanging out with Our Lady J., who the UK papers have called a drag queen. She said, "I have no comment on Daniel, except that we support each other as artists. And I'd like to clarify that I'm not a Dolly-Parton-impersonating drag queen: I am a singing/songwriting/piano-playing woman (of transexual experience, if you must). And I happen to be a very powerful witch, so don't fuck with me fellas!" [Popnography]
• In a recent interview porn star Sasha Grey said she wanted to drape herself in a Palestinian flag, go on The Howard Stern Show and confront the shock jock for being "a closet racist." She claims she was joking, but Howard Stern is insulted that she called him a racist and said, "For the most part, I really don't want to hear a porn star try to prove how intelligent [she is] and her porn is a political statement. I mean, that just sounds absurd to me." He continued, "What a genius. I'm going to sit there and listen to this. Please. Just tell me how much cock you can suck and how far you can swallow a hot dog. That's what I want to know. I mean, really. How dare you?" [Rolling Stone]

• Kiefer Sutherland may be looking at a minor assault charge in NYC for headbutting designer Jack McCollough. The real problem?

He may have violated the probation of his L.A. DUI conviction. If so, it's back to the slammer. [People]

• According to this report, Kiefer Sutherland will surrender today and be charged with with third-degree assault for his "attack" on Jack McCollough. [NY Daily News, TMZ, E!]
• Kiefer will get a desk ticket for the headbutt — meaning he won't be jailed and he's free to travel. [NY Daily News, NY Post]
• Donald Trump intends to make a decision about Miss California Carrie Prejean very soon; additionally, the guy from the website which has been releasing "controversial" photos of her says he has more, and he intends to post them. [E!]
• The Carrie Prejean semi-nude pictures will "roll out" slowly. [CNN]
• Chris Brown's lawyer, Mark Geragos, has filed legal papers asking the LAPD to state how the picture of Rihanna was leaked to TMZ. If there was misconduct by law enforcement, Geragos will file a motion to have the case dismissed. [TMZ]
• Oprah wrote her Time 100 essay about Michelle Obama on her BlackBerry: "And then I went to hit the wrong button and the whole thing deleted! I went to hit 'Save' and instead I hit ... 'Oh my God! Oh my God! It's gone!' That ever happened to you? And then you can't remember - not one sentence you wrote." What did she do? "I couldn't even think for two days… I couldn't even, like, think of a sentence. I stared at the BlackBerry, then I hit every button trying to make it come back. I hit 'Options.' I did everything!" Then she started over. [New York Mag, Gatecrasher]
• Lindsay and Sam: Romantic relapse? A source says Sam might take LL back. They've been texting and "having visits." But another source says: "Lindsay plays stupid mind games saying she is being pursued by major celebrity actors. She has a lot of free time to play all these childish games. Sam knows in her head, life is truly better off without Lindsay." [People]
• This paper claims that Lindsay Lohan "chased her ex-lover across LA yesterday before finally tracking her down at 2am and demanding one of those horrible late-night discussions." [Daily Mail]
• Steve Zahn had to touch Jennifer Aniston's ass for the new flick, The Management, and says: "We had to do it so many times. It's so weird, very awkward and bizarre. [But] she's a pro, a gifted actor, humble, modest, a genuinely kind person. She has no agenda. She's just a really beautiful person." So wait: she's not desperate and lonely, sobbing over an empty uterus? Huh. [People]
• Jennifer Aniston says if there's gonna be a Friends movie, "they should hurry up." [Mirror]
• Jennifer Aniston and Bradley Cooper: Flirting??!?!?!?! [Page Six]
• In the new Marie Claire, Beyoncé says that when she was singing for the Obamas in January, she was almost overcome: "I had to tell myself, 'They asked you to do this. You have to do a great job. This is their history. Calm down. Calm down… I barely made it. Literally seconds before the song started, I was crying like a 5-year-old." [People]
• In this video, some dude who works security at a Pennsylvania motel says Jon Gosselin from Jon & Kate Plus 8 shows up frequently and was seen "romantically kissing" a woman who was not his wife. [Radar Online]
• "Twilight fans fell in love with Robert Pattinson as a vampire who makes girls swoon. But in Little Ashes, which opens on Friday, the actor explores a relationship that could reshape his heartthrob image." No one wants you to forget that he sexes a dude in this flick. No one. [Reuters>]
• Another day, another Michael Jackson lawsuit; this one involves a former publicist who claims, "Mr. Jackson has elected not to honor the financial obligations of our contractual relationship." She wants $44 million. [TMZ, Reuters]
• Reese Witherspoon is thought to be connected to a man named John Witherspoon, who left Scotland in 1768 and went on to witness the signing of the Declaration of Independence. A BBC series, A History Of Scotland, will tell his story. [Daily Express]
• Guess who's started working out with Tracy Anderson — Gwyneth and Madonna's trainer? Emma Thompson. [Daily Express]
• Are cops in Massachusetts targeting celebs in Massachusetts? What's with all the searches on Tom Brady and Matt Damon? [E!]
• Dr. Phil has fired 15 members of his staff. "It was a bloodbath… People who had worked together for years suddenly were unemployed," says a source. Ouch! Someone call Oprah. [Perez]
• WTF headline of the day: "When Harry Met Tranny." (Daniel Radcliffe had dinner with a drag queen.) [The Sun]
• JJ Abrams says of the original TV series Star Trek: "I remember appreciating it, but feeling like I didn't get it." He was not a Trekkie! "I had no idea there had been 10 movies! I still haven't seen them all." [Guardian]
• Speaking of Trek, Zachary Quinto couldn't do Vulcan fingers while filming and JJ Abrams had to glue his fingers together. [Page Six]
• Director Robert Rodriguez was working on an adaptation of Barbarella — with Rose McGowan playing the Jane Fonda role, naturally — but the project is now dead. No orgasmatron! [MTV]
• Jennifer Aniston, Holly Hunter, Elizabeth Banks, Catherine Hardwicke and cinematographer Petra Korner will be honored at the 2009 Crystal + Lucy Awards, presented by Women in Film. [The Hollywood Reporter]
• Katie Holmes will star in a thriller called Don't Be Afraid of the Dark, scripted by Guillermo del Toro. Xenu knows she could use a hit flick. [Variety]
• Robert De Niro and Edward Norton will star in an indie psychological thriller Stone, about a a correctional officer (De Niro) who is seduced by the wife of a convicted arsonist (Norton) up for parole. [Variety]
• Susan Boyle is now in the top 5 list of most watched viral videos, right under Soulja Boy and something called Achmed the Dead Terrorist. [NY Daily News]
• Megan Fox wants to be like George Clooney: "He's sarcastic, and he has a different girlfriend constantly. It's considered charismatic. He's like this James Bond, sexy dude. The older he gets, the better he gets. It's a double standard. To be outspoken, or different at all, is a problem for women. As soon as you curse or, God forbid, make some sort of sexual reference that's a joke, you're (labelled a party girl). They don't do that with men, so I feel it would be a lot easier." [Mirror]
• This was in Midweek Madness, but here it is again: Sarah Jessica Parker's surrogate is a "tattooed bisexual." The horrors. [The Sun]
• Liz Hurley thinks people look sexier in the country than in the city. Also, she likes to have sex on sheepskin rugs in front of fireplaces. [Daily Mail]
• In 2000, Jemima Khan's plane was hijacked; she says her hair turned white after the incident and she's had to dye it ever since. [Daily Express]
• A new biography reveals that Stephen King "spent most of the Eighties on an extended drug and alcohol binge which so fogged his mind that even today he cannot remember working on many of the books he wrote during that period." [Daily Mail]
• Ryan O'Neal says Farrah Fawcett has "lost her famous hair" from battling cancer. [Daily Express]
• Ryan O'Neal also says: "It's a love story. I just don't know how to play this one. I won't know this world without her." [People]
• Trent Reznor is pissed at Apple, because a Nine Inch Nails iPhone app was rejected for having 'objectionable content." [NY Daily News]
• RIP Stanley Tucci's wife, Kate. [Page Six]
• Olympic silver medalist Sasha Cohen is returning to competitive figure skating. Will we see her in Vancouver for the winter Olympics? [AP]
• Stephanie Tanner Jodie Sweetin is being sued for not paying her Home Owner's Association fees. How rude! [Perez]
• James McAvoy, Elizabeth Banks, Laura Linney and Anna Friel will star in The Details, a flick about a a couple who discover an infestation of raccoons in their back yard. [Variety]
• Rare Marilyn Monroe photographs for sale — on eBay. [UPI]
• Blind item! "Which film director could give Robert Pattinson a run for his money in the odor department? The big-time movie man smelled so badly during a recent shoot that even his actors couldn't stand to be around him!" [Gatecrasher]
• "Would I run for public office? A delegation of Democrats from Ohio asked me if I wanted to run for a Senate seat in 2004, and I said it was a tempting offer, but no. We already had an old actor in national politics, and it didn't work out so well. He shall remain nameless." — Martin Sheen. [Mirror]
• "The rumours aren't true. We aren't moving. So many people come up to me and say 'I hear you're moving.' We love America. We've been very happy here." — Victoria Beckham. [Mirror]
• "I've never changed my name officially. I never have and I never will. In my heart, I am still Ramon. I love the name. I would never give it up." — Martin Sheen. [Mirror]
• "I'd like to see Benson and Stabler get together...but I can't let that happen. Mariska [Hargitay] and I have been a wonderful, solid married couple now for 10 years-we see each other more than our families. It's just nice to get a different dynamic in there every once in a while." — Chris Meloni. [E!]
• "I'm looking for an encyclopaedia and a dictionary. A bit of the Boy Scouts Handbook. A person who is conscientious about the trail he leaves behind him. I'm attracted to intelligence and creativity and passion — and not necessarily the romantic kind. I want to learn from someone who is greedy for information and light and laughter and the whole world." — Renée Zellweger, on what she looks for in a man. [Mirror via Glamour]
• "We know the people whose lives are on the line-those who identify as gay, lesbian, bisexual, or transgender-will be there. But we need everyone there. Especially straight people." — Charlize Theron, who is encouraging Californians to attend a Meet In The Middle For Equality rally in Fresno. [E!]
• "I'm a big fan of Tyra's! She is sexy. I mean, I don't really get obsessed with anyone, but Tyra is definitely hot." — Idris Elba. [Gatecrasher]
• "I'm not fiddling about with myself. We're in this awful youth-driven thing now where everybody needs to look 30 at 60 . This is the law of diminishing returns. The trick is to age honestly and gracefully and make it look great so that everyone looks forward to it." — Emma Thompson. [Daily Express]

• Rihanna was the big show-stopper at the Met Ball: Celebs cheered when she took the stage to perform. And! At an after-party, guess who RiRi was in deep convo with?

None other than Ms. Anna Wintour. Will someone be gracing the pages of Vogue very soon? [Gatecrasher]

• Have people stopped returning Lindsay Lohan's phone calls? Apparently Pharrell Williams had offered to help her revive her music career, she tells Interview: "He's an amazing guy. He's only been really kind to me whenever I've met him. He said, 'I'd love to make a great record with you, but I want to take you out of all the elements that you're used to. Let's go away. Let's go somewhere nice where you can be focused, and let's make an album there.'" Of course, she hasn't heard from him since and says: "Pharrell, please call me back!" [Daily Express]
• It seems that Kiefer Sutherland did indeed intentionally headbutt Proenza Schouler designer Jack McCollough, who allegedly knocked over Brooke Shields; Kiefer was coming to Brooke's rescue or something. Met Ball dramz! [TMZ]
• Brooke Shields' rep is saying "nothing happened to her" and "Jack did nothing inappropriate. It's not clear what caused Kiefer to do what he did." [TMZ]
• A source says Kiefer Sutherland "was really drunk and he got accidentally bumped by McCollough. They started arguing and then he just head-butted him." Hmm. Kiefer's been arrested for DUI twice. [Page Six]
• More on this in Midweek Madness, but Us magazine is confirming that star of Jon & Kate Plus 8 Jon Gosselin, 32, has been having an affair with third grade school teacher Deanna Hummel, 23. [Just Jared]
• Amy Winehouse's dad is kicking "freeloading pals" out of her hotel room in St. Lucia — her two friends Violetta and Thalia were having "all-day boozing sessions" on Amy's dime. A source says: "Amy performs for the first time in ages at the St Lucia Jazz Festival this week. Mitch knows she has to get it right." [The Sun]
• Paula Abdul is saying pain killers are to blame for when she would "get weird." [MSNBC Scoop]
• Madonna is planning a concert in St. Petersburg, Russia, but local authorities are calling it a "natural disaster" and want "guarantees that there will be no blasphemy." Ha! [Page Six]
• Victoria Beckham wears her sunglasses at night. In the rain. [The Sun]
• Excellent news: Mindy Kaling has a new deal with NBC; she'll continue to write for and appear on The Office next season while simultaneously developing a comedy in which she would also star. She says: "This is my first step in a Transformers-style way to take over the whole world." [Variety]
• Holy gray T-shirt! These pictures of Simon Cowell's new £15million mansion which looks over the Hollywood Hills are absolutely stunning. [Daily Mail]
• In a deposition regarding a lawsuit that Paris Hilton didn't do enough to promote 2006 box office bomb Pledge This, Paris says she promoted the flick "any chance I got." Her lawyer says, "She's the single busiest person on the planet." [AP]
• "Robert Pattinson 'baffled' by fans." [Mirror]
• The weight watchers have moved from Jessica and Lindsay to the King of Pop: Michael Jackson has allegedly been warned that he is "too thin" and needs to gain about 20 lbs before his 50 live shows in the UK. [The Sun]
• Details on Maggie Gyllenhaal and Peter Sarsgaard's wedding! It took place in a cloister of a convent that's a luxury bed and breakfast in Brindisi, Italy; Jake and Reese were there; guests mingled in the garden, which features a pool, wines from the nearby town of Lecce were served. [People]
• Oprah's Twitter stunt of offering everyone in America a free chicken dinner: Newsworthy. [Time]
• Speaking of Ms. Winfrey, you knew this would happen: Susan Boyle will be on Oprah. [Daily Express]
• Yesterday was Chris Brown's birthday; he turned 20 and it was "low-key." [People]
• Mia Farrow is ten days into her hunger strike for Darfur. A few days ago she said: "At this point I don't think about food. I am weaker and I am mostly in bed. I am clear-minded. I sleep less." She also says: "No one voted for President Obama with more excitement and passion than I did, but he's really been lagging and the people of Darfur can't wait." [Guardian]
• Mia Farrow is documenting her fast on YouTube. [Page Six]
• Joel Madden went on a Twitter rant after he and baby Harlow were surrounded by photographers at an airport: "Let me just say shame on any magazine or blog that post pics of us in the miami airport. The photographers were acting like animals. it was the first time i've ever seen my child scared. Not cool for any parent to see. At least in LA they gave us some space. These guys were sticking flashes in her face and bumping in to us and yelling. The most unnecessary force i've ever seen." [Perez]
• Village Voice columnist Michael Musto says Miss California USA once posed with "trannie extraordinaire" Amanda Lepore. He asked Amanda about it, but she says: "I don't remember meeting her. You know how many pictures I take!" Of Carrie Prejean's pageant answer, Ms. Lepore says: "That was stupid. She could never make a career in TV. Gays monopolize everything! She's a dummy! Now she's trying to have churches help her. That doesn't sound promising. But at least she has big tits. She can marry a high roller and have miserable kids that hate her." Musto adds: "All thanks to opposite marriage!" [Village Voice]
• Unfake my heart: A Las Vegas entertainer faces fraud charges for impersonating Toni Braxton. [AP]
• Back in the '90s, Bono wrote a poem about Elvis; it will be broadcast on the UK's Radio 4 on May 13. [The Sun]
• Rachel Weisz will star in an indie political drama, The Whistleblower, which is based on the true story of a female cop from Nebraska who serves as a peacekeeper in post-war Bosnia and exposes a United Nations cover-up of a sex trafficking scandal. [Variety]
• Will Ferrell is in talks to star in a comedy called Neighborhood Watch, directed by the guy who did Wedding Crashers. [Variety]
• Cameron Diaz plays the mother of a sick child in My Sister's Keeper, and although she appears bald in the film, didn't shave her head: She only needed to be bald for one day of shooting. [LA Times]
• Kate Walsh's divorce continues to be a mess. [TMZ]
• Debbie Matenoppoulos will get $3,595 per month in spousal support from her ex, Jay Faires. She currently lives in the couple's home and is responsible for paying all expenses, including the mortgage. [Radar Online]
• Shimmy shimmy ya: Ol' Dirty Bastard will be memorialized in an upcoming documentary and a series of tribute albums, all produced by his cousin Raison Allah Iceman. [Telegraph]
• Blind item! "Which very taken Oscar winner has been sending lots of flowers to a pretty fashion publicist?" [Gatecrasher]
• "There are many duos we wanted to draw from. Something as eccentric as The Odd Couple to Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid, Withnail and I and Laurel and Hardy. It's the kind of friendship you can only have with someone of the same sex, a person you adore but who infuriates you." — Jude Law on the relationship between Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson in Guy Ritchie's new flick Sherlock Holmes. [USA Today]
• "There's tons of stuff in my name. I mean, if I told you how many Facebook pages have my name on it, you wouldn't believe it. But I am going to join Facebook. I've been doing the MySpace thing a long time and I realize a lot of people are doing Twitter, I just don't want to know what people are doing every single second of their day. I find it a little invasive, but people are into it. To each their own. I don't have the desire to send out messages all day long. That's not me. I'd rather be doing something else." — Zach Braff [Time]

In the first photo, a woman who appears to be Prejean wears pink panties and looks over her shoulder while holding her breasts. Pop Crunch reports that Alicia Jacobs, a Miss USA pageant judge who criticized Prejean's views on gay marriage after the pageant, has seen all six photos and says the others are more revealing. She thinks the photos may have been taken after Prejean's breast augmentation, which the Miss California USA organization paid for.

Prejean, 21, originally said the photos were taken of her when she was 17 (which would make them child pornography) according to the clip from The Today Show below:

In a statement released this morning, Prejean didn't emphasize that she was a minor when the pictures were taken, but said, according to E!:

I am a Christian, and I am a model. Models pose for pictures, including lingerie and swimwear photos. Recently, photos taken of me as a teenager have been released surreptitiously to a tabloid Web site that openly mocks me for my Christian faith. I am not perfect, and I will never claim to be. But these attacks on me and others who speak in defense of traditional marriage are intolerant and offensive.

The text posted along with the photo on TheDirty.com does describe Prejean as a "self-proclaimed bible thumper," and concludes:

So much for being a good role model for the state of California Carrie. Looks like your Dirty photo shoot makes you a sinner too.

Though the site makes jokes about Prejean's religion, it seems the intent was to attack the hypocrisy of her presenting herself as the poster girl for squeaky-clean traditional values, rather than mocking her belief in God. If Prejean were any other Christian Miss USA runner up, it's unlikely the photos would have generated much national interest or focused as much on her religion. But, if photos of another state pageant winner came to light, that woman's most likely response would be to apologize and relinquish her crown in disgrace. Though Prejean's attempt to frame herself as the victim of religious persecution is somewhat ridiculous, the pictures were obviously released to discredit Prejean by revealing that she's an ignorant slut because she's posed for a half-dozen semi-nude photos! (Uh, like many young women her age?)

Prejean has already proven through her words that she's a poor spokeswoman for the anti-gay marriage movement. Posing for vaguely racy photos doesn't mean Prejean couldn't have an intelligent or articulate point about gay marriage, but not knowing much of anything about the policies she's advocating does. Christian conservative groups like the National Organization for Marriage have already shown they are willing to tolerate her ignorance on the issues, but it remains to be seen whether they will accept a spokeswoman who doesn't fit their view of how a "moral" woman should behave.

Exclusive: Miss California Carrie Prejean Exposed [TheDirty.com]
Miss California Nude Picture - Carrie Prejean Naked Photo Scandal [PopCrunch]
Miss California Denounces Racy Photo Leak [E!]

Earlier: Who Needs A Scholarship When You Can Get Sponsored Breasts?
Miss California Opens Mouth, Exhales Inanity
Celebrity Missives About Miss California Make Us Wish For World Peace

Basically, the head of the organization admitted on television last week that, in some way, every single breast displayed for the perusal of the judges or the audience is augmented in some way the (as yet) average woman or bra could not achieve and would not regularly attempt. Keith Lewis told CBS's Maggie Rodriguez:

"You use chicken cutlets," he said. "You use tape. You use anything that you can to enhance the line. There's lots of tricks of the trade."

And, if that doesn't work, you apparently either beg the organization to buy you the implants or pressure your beauty queen into getting them!

One question that struck me was: where did the organizers get the money to buy Miss California's silicone? Well, not that their financials are exactly public, but it appears that each participant in the pageant system has to pay her own way — and it's expensive enough that, like in fashion magazines and pricey restaurants, they don't tell you the cost before you sign up. And since the California pageant isn't televised, the organization likely gets its money partly from the national, from corporate and personal sponsorships to the organization, and from corporate and personal sponsorships given to the individual contestants. That means, of course, that all the Miss California contestants and their sponsors and the corporate sponsors of this year's pageant paid for Carrie Prejean's new breasts. How many of those people do you think feel their money was well-spent? I mean, it's not even like there's a scholarship or anything.

I mean, for fuck's sake, there's not even a talent competition: it's who looks good in a dress, a bikini and can answer a question without sounding like a complete idiot. As Karry Howley at The XX Factor puts it:

I find both sides of this exchange deeply bizarre, perhaps because I lack the imaginative capacity to envision a swimsuit competition not premised on a certain conception of the female body. What are they going evaluate? Perkiness? Gait? The actual swimsuit?

It's certainly not got the veneer of evaluating one's baton-twirling.

Samhita at Feministing goes one step further.

The fact that Carrie Prejean got breast implants is not newsworthy to me. The fact that the California Pageant Association paid for them, well that is. Not because it is scandalous, but because it shows that pageants aren't about highlighting women as they are or for their talents, but for their physical appearance and to make spectacle of a specific type of femininity.

Pageants only make sense because of binary gender roles that cater to mainstream understandings of femininity. They are a fetishized spectacle of femininity to the point where it is even OK if they are artificially constructed as long as they are pushing a normative ideal of what a "real woman" is.

This is, I think, a key point. You can go to Prejean's gallery and see pictures of her as Miss La Jolla and then Miss California and she is — white, heteronormative, slim, blonde, fake-tan standards aside — a fairly attractive woman. And yet she risked her life and her appearance for what can best be described as marginally larger breasts — ones that, in 10 years (when she's about my age), she'll have to go under the knife again to replace or remove. And it's a decision that the pageant organization not only endorsed but funded — unlike the organization sponsoring Miss Virginia, Tara Wheeler, who refused to allow her to shave her head for a children's cancer charity. Apparently, a bald and legitimately charitably-minded beauty queen is an anathema, but one with two bags of silicone shoved under her chest muscles at risk to her life, health and future nursing prospects is upholding the ideal of Californian womanhood. They ought to put that shit in those California tourism commercials.

The Beauty of Chicken Cutlets [New York Times]
Solutions for Flat-Chested Beauty Queens [The XX Factor]
Breast Implants, Heteronormativity and Why Miss California is a Feminist Nightmare [Feministing]

Related: Frequently Asked Questions [Miss California USA]
History [Miss California USA]
Carrie Prejean [Miss California USA]
Find Yourself Here [Visit California]

Earlier: Shanna Moakler Confirms Carrie Prejean's Breasts Were Paid For By Pageant
Miss Virginia Might Have To Wait To Shave For Charity
With A Crown, Some Duct Tape, A Wig And A Dream

In the clip at left, Prejean stumbles through an interview with Van Susteren, who seems to have made it her mission to profile (and defend) controversial right-wing female beauty queens. Earlier in the day, Prejean gave a press conference on behalf of the National Organization for Marriage and unveiled her new ad for NOW, which will be airing in several states. Currently, the only way to watch online is to head to the organization's website, as gossip blogger Perez Hilton has forced the ad to be removed from YouTube.

Prejean said she was calling in to promote traditional marriage, but when Van Susteren asked her about civil unions she said, as transcribed by U.S. News and World Report:

You know what, Greta? I don't have the answers to everything. I'm not running for political office. I don't have the answers to everything, you know, in the world out there.

But I think that there should be rights for people, you know, especially in California. I think that people that are homosexual should have some rights, you know, hospital rights, and things like that.

Rights for hospitals and things like that - generous! Then, when Van Susteren proceeded to ask Prejean about gay adoption, the beauty queen seemed to think the anchor was trying trick her and scolded:

Greta, I am focusing on marriage right now, not adoption, not civil unions, just traditional marriage, and I'm going to do whatever it takes to promote that.

At the press conference earlier in the day (clip below, via Pandagon) Prejean didn't fare much better. She explained that she is passionate about her cause because "marriage is good" and "unless we bring men and women together children will not have mothers and fathers." Then, during the question and answer segment of her press conference, following a reporter's question as to whether Prejean will be going into politics she laughed and said, "I think that is a silly question." AT this point, we're just relieved that Prejean finds the idea of her starting a political career is as silly as we do.

NOM Launches "No Offense" Religious Liberty Ad Campaign! [NOM]
Why Carrie Prejean May Not Be An Effective Spokeswoman for the Anti-Gay-Marriage Cause [U.S. News and World Report]
Miss California On Presser: If We Don't Save Marriage Kids Won't Have Moms And Dads [Pandagon]

Earlier: Perez Hilton Forces NOM Off YouTube
Both The Beauty And The Blogger Make Beastly Representatives

NOM reportedly spent $1.5 million on a new campaign featuring Perez Hilton and Miss California Carrie Prejean, but Perez Hilton forced them to remove the ad from YouTube because they feature unauthorized clips from his video blog. [Joe.My.God. via World of Wonder]

• Shanna Moakler, Co-Executive Director of the Miss California Organization, has confirmed that the pageant paid for Miss California Carrie Prejean's breast implants.

Moakler also says Miss California is not speaking to her right now. But she doesn't want Miss California stripped of her crown: "I don't want to fire her! I think she's a great, young girl, and I got into pageants, because I want to help young girls. I want to guide young girls. I know what pageants [did] for me and I know what it can do for young women and also working within the community." Uh-huh. Sure. Moakler also says: "I don't want to fire Carrie. I want her to use her platform, because this is her platform, I didn't know she was this passionate about it… I'm glad I know now and I support and will help her, but…" [Access Hollywood]

• Sarah Jessica Parker is talking about the twins she is expecting (through a surrogate): "It's been a complicated past few weeks… My main concern is that my husband and son [James Wilkie, now 6 years old] have enough time. Hopefully, our son is feeling loved and taken care of." [Gatecrasher]
• Don't speak! No Doubt reunites tomorrow for its first live performance in five years… on the Today show. So rock and roll. [NY Daily News]
• Chief Justice Lovemore Munlo of Malawi will lead a panel in Madonna's appeal case; Madge wants to overturn the court's decision to reject her application to adopt 3-year-old Mercy. Her Madgesty is not required to attend the hearing on May 4. Think she'll make an appearance? [People]
• The Daily Fail spoke to Mercy's biological father, who has never MET Mercy, but says: "She is my daughter; she is my blood; she needs parental love. She is not an orphan. She lost one parent, yes, but I am still alive and so she is not an orphan. Madonna has millions of dollars but that doesn't make her a good mum. Parental love is more than money. Besides, I don't think Madonna is a model mum. I have seen her in movies of her songs. She doesn't portray good morals. How can a woman of 50 dance almost naked on stage? I wouldn't want my daughter to grow up like that! In Malawi women respect themselves. Cultured women do not go about half-naked." It goes on, but you get the point. [Daily Mail, NY Post]
• Meanwhile, Madonna is looking for a place in the Hamptons, but the peeps in the Hamptons seem to think she may be a pain in the ass. [Page Six]
• So remember the report that claimed Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie's bodyguard was writing a tell-all book? He says: "No, no, no. I'm not writing a tell-all book. I don't know where this story came from. It's not true." Dammit! [MSNBC via Life & Style]
• Rihanna's father sounds absolutely overjoyed when he says: "[Rihanna is] a different person, back to herself. It's like Chris never existed. She seems reborn. She's realizing how precious life is." [MSNBC]
• Nadya Suleman, mother of octuplets, wants to sue sources from In Touch magazine who claim she was a stripper. "I've never even met a stripper in my life," she says. [MSNBC]
• Bottoms up: Justin Timberlake's new tequila, 901, is "actually a really nice product," says a "tequila geek" and bar owner. "It has a nice richness to it, a full-body mouth feel, a nice finish." That's what she said? [NY Daily News]
• In this article, entertainment professionals and insiders list nine things Lindsay Lohan should do to save her career. Examples: do some charity work, develop self-discipline, focus. [NY Daily News]
• Uh-oh: Paula Abdul was "totally fooled" by Bruno, the character Sacha Baron Cohen plays in his upcoming flick. [Page Six]
• Spotted: Ryan Gosling having dinner with a "mystery model." [Page Six]
• Heidi Klum says Susan Boyle could be a good Project Runway guest. "She could be a good challenge." Is that a compliment? [E!]
• Early reviews for Wolverine are not good; critics call it "noisy and impersonal" and "silly and typical" and "a keen disappointment." However. Everyone will see it anyway and it will surely win the box office and be a "hit." [Reuters]
• Hugh Hefner says he does not want Holly Madison to be his girlfriend again. "The notion that I would want her back as a girlfriend is bizarre. I am now in one of the best relationships in memory with Crystal Harris and the twins. I'm not going to screw it up with former girlfriends." [E!]
• Prison Break star Lane Garrison went from prison to Jessica Simpson's house. He says "I'm blessed to be alive." Garrison was incarcerated for 19 months for a DUI crash that killed one person; Jessica's father Joe was his youth minister in Texas, so he's close to the fam. [E!]
• Top Gun star Kelly McGillis has come out: She is a lesbian. She says her next partner would "definitely be a woman." And: "I'm done with the man thing. It's a part of being true to yourself. That's been a challenge for me personally." [This Is London]
• Usher is allowing the Boys and Girls Club of America to use a childhood photo of him in their ad campaign. He looks cute! [USA Today]
• Simon Cowell's first gig in showbiz was to polish the axe Jack Nicholson used in The Shining. Apropos? [The Sun]
• Unauthorized Diana Ross biography: In the works. Guess what? She's being painted as "ambitious." THE SCANDAL. [Variety]
• Do we like this picture of Chelsea Handler with a man between her legs? [E!]
• Tony Blair, Kate Winslet and other celebs have contributed to a book of butterfly pictures compiled in memory of a young woman who died from leukemia. [Telegraph]
• "Jailed Jack Tweed [widow of Jade Goody] turned tail and ran from the showers in prison - after THREE encounters with naked gay star Boy George." [The Sun]
• Redmond O'Neal — son of Farrah Fawcett and Ryan O'Neal — pleaded not guilty yesterday to the felony charge that he brought drugs to jail. [ET]
• A settlement has been reached in the defamation lawsuit filed against Dr. Phil by a witness in O.J. Simpson's robbery case. [AP]
• Blind item: "Which starlet's constant state of inebriation is causing problems in her marriage? Her hubby hates having to physically remove her from nightclubs." [Gatecrasher]
• "CSI will beat the hell out of him." — CEO of Viacom and CBS, Sumner Redstone, on Jay Leno having a show on at 10pm. [The Hollywood Reporter]
• "I don't think it's irrelevant because I am sure there are still people out there who are living it up… I think the show is taken for what it is — it's a piece of entertainment and that's the value and that's the worth." — Ed Westwick, on Gossip Girl. [Mirror]
• "The worst thing about Ricky as a director is that if something is funny at all and it was improvisational, he breaks and laughs and ruins your take. I would say, 'It's your movie. Just leave, go in another room. Let me just do it.' He's like, 'Just do it again.' I said, 'Ricky, it's not the same. You suck.' But he knew exactly what he wanted." — Jennifer Garner on working with Ricky Gervais in The Invention Of Lying. [The Star]
• "It's got to be the right story. You can't make The Dark Knight and then come out with something disappointing. The fact is I have to. Chris doesn't. So I'm in a fix if he says he doesn't want to." — Christian Bale, concerned that director Chris Nolan has yet to sign on for another Batman flick. (Bale is contractually obligated to star in a third movie.) [Daily Express]
• Q:You're featured on the gossip website Gawker all the time. Do websites like that annoy you? A: "No, I'm not somebody who reads about what I'm actually up to that week - which usually they get wrong. Maybe you can pass the word on to anybody who reads these sites or who sees their kids on them that most of the time these people are making stuff up. If people want to really know what's up with me then they can read one of my interviews." — Chuck Bass, ahem, Ed Westwick. [Guardian]
• "I've had my garbage stolen… I think tabloid journalism has become so pervasive is that it gives people the chance to feel better about themselves in a slightly sick way. A lot of it is 'Stars are just like us! They have cellulite and bad eating habits and drug problems!' There are a lot of celebrities that are more than happy to share every last detail about their lives until there's no mystery left whatsoever." — Ryan Reynolds. [USA Today]
• "I'm doing my part to save the planet. You know that new Aston Martin Vantage? I didn't buy it. You're welcome, Earth!" — Jon Hamm. [Gatecrasher]
• "It has truly never been my intention to be a performer, and I think it's probably best that I stop performing pretty soon and start writing. [Acting] is like a big red herring. I kind of want to stop it, really." — Tilda Swinton would rather be a poet. [The Daily Beast]
• "We look around. We see what we want. Don't you look around and see what you want to look like? I'm, like, look, Michelle Obama's guns. I could have those arms. I don't know about the legs." — Kirstie Alley, to Oprah. [People]

Perez says Miss California judges Keith Lewis and Shanna Moakler told Access Hollywood about this little silicone gift — but his post links to the Access Hollywood main page, not to a specific story. In facd, we can't find any mention of Carrie Prejean on the (admittedly, badly-designed, difficult-to-navigate) site.

As for the pageant itself, the Miss California pageant has a noble quest to find "outgoing, intelligent, confident, attractive young women excited to represent the beauty of California." And what is the beauty of California exactly? The website has a helpful definition: "The Beauty of California embodies the unique landscape, distinct business, progressive ideas, and the beautiful spirit of the people of California." Progressive ideas like "opposite marriage," presumably?

Of Carrie herself, the website tells us that in addition to her appearances as "Super Taste" centerfold in "Blisss" [sic] Magazine" and shill for "Naughty Monkey" shoes, she's also "an advocate for encouraging healthy lifestyles for young women. Carrie wants people to remember her as being compassionate and real."

If it turns out that Miss California organizers bought her new breasts, they should be called on the carpet; and Prejean may need to rethink that last statement.

Jesus Loves Fake Titties! [Perez Hilton]
Miss California Emerges As 'Opposite Marriage' Spokeswoman [Politico]
Carrie Prejean Bio and Gallery [Miss California Pageant Official Site]

• Tyra Banks will be in court this week; she's expected to testify in the trial of her alleged stalker, Brady Green.

How weird will it be to be face-to-face with the guy? Oh, and get this: Green's lawyer's argument is that Tyra is to blame. "She invites fans that are inspired by her show to reach out to her," defense lawyer Sydney O'Hagen said in opening arguments at Green's trial. "Mr. Green was a fan, albeit perhaps an overzealous fan." Green allegedly sent flowers and love letters to Tyra, and then when an employee of her talk show refused to give him the address of the studio over the phone, Green said: "You're fucking lying, I'm going to find you and slit your throat." [NY Daily News, NY Post, AP]

• Casey Aldridge, the father of Jamie Lynn Spears' baby, was injured in a car accident yesterday; he was taken to the hospital with non-life threatening injuries. [Breitbart]
• This report claims that Casey Aldridge has a "cracked skull." [NY Post]
• Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt's wedding had a "spring feeling," meaning the colors were green and yellow and people drank margaritas while eating appetizers like tuna tartare and chicken salad. No one noticed the glowering specter in the corner, the one named "In The Grand Scheme These People Are Irrelevant." [People]
• Miss California, Carrie Prejean, received a "hero's welcome" when appearing at a San Diego megachurch. "'You need to apologize to the gay community. You need to not talk about your faith. This has everything to do with you representing California and saving the brand,'" Prejean recalled being told. "I was representing California. I was representing the majority of people in California." She also said: "I learned that God has a bigger crown than any man can give you." [AP]
• Clearcast, a TV company in the UK, wants to cut scenes from Keira Knightley's domestic violence ad before it is broadcast; specifically, the scenes where the actress is being thrown to the ground and kicked — the organization believes it is too violent. [Telegraph]
• The Sanskrit tattoo on Rihanna's hip is misspelled, but the tattoo artist says she wouldn't care: "It's copied off of a necklace that she got from somebody important to her," he explains. [UPI]
• Actress Vanessa A. Williams — not to be confused with Ugly Betty's Vanessa L. Williams — is using Rihanna's name on an invitation to a violence-prevention event. Rihanna is not involved with the organization, but the copy reads: "On February 8th, when famed singer Rihanna was allegedly beaten by her boyfriend, she was not alone." [Page Six]
• Susan Boyle auditioned for a TV show 14 years ago, and was rejected. [Daily Mail]
• Guy Ritchie has purchased a house 200 yards from Madonna's London mansion, putting him "as close as possible" to the kids. In addition, a source says Guy laughed when he found out that her Madgesty's new man, Jesus Luz, speaks very little English, saying: "Blimey, no wonder the whole thing works so perfectly." [The Sun]
• Is Jesus Luz only getting modeling jobs because of his relationship with Madonna? [Page Six]
• This paper claims Amy Winehouse is being called the "Pied Piper Of St. Lucia," since she loves hanging out with kids. But you get the feeling that the only person calling her that is whomever wrote this story. [The Sun]
• Henry Ian Cusick, aka Desmond on Lost, is being sued by a former ABC Entertainment employee for sexual harassment. He's been married for 3 years after being with his wife for 14 years and the couple has 3 sons. [Daily Mail]
• Apparently two high school guys saw Kate Winslet in her workout gear and commented on her "big hot booty." [Page Six]
• "Every Friday that he's shooting a movie, Hugh Jackman comes to work with a bag full of lottery tickets. He gives them to everyone who works on his movies: co-stars, camera crews, set hands, the people who cater the food. He doesn't play." [USA Today]
• Miley Cyrus says that she and Nick Jonas are just friends and not back together — if you heard that he is her boyfriend it is just a "stupidddd rumor." She Twittered: "It makes me sad to think that people out there aren't friends with THEIR ex bf, because let me tell u it IS possible." [People]
• Jennifer Hudson performed a concert in her hometown of Chicago — her first since her mother, brother and nephew were killed there. She didn't talk about the murders but did dedicate "You Pulled Me Though" to family members in the audience. [UPI]
• Will you look at the way Tina is looking at Beyoncé? It is soooo "tired mom." [Concrete Loop]
• Speaking of Beyoncé, guess who has another hit flick? Obsessed was number one at the box office with $28 million. [MSNBC Scoop, NY Daily News]
• Surely this will come as shocking, shocking news: The ladies of The Real Housewives Of New Jersey have ties to the mob. [NY Daily News]
• If you're a dedicated fan, get your credit card ready: Various props from the newest George Clooney flick, Up In The Air, are going up for sale. [UPI]
• Kobe Bryant demanded creative control over the documentary Spike Lee filmed of the basketball star, and an insider claims "Spike completely yielded." [Page Six]
• Jon Hamm and ladyfriend Jennifer Westfeldt have formed a production company named Points West Pictures. They have 3 projects in development and all will feature at least one of the couple. [Hollywood Reporter]
• Jamie Foxx has recorded a message for Nineline, a crisis helpline run by Convenant House, the agency which works with homeless kids. Says a spokesperson: "Now kids in crisis will not only hear a reassuring voice but a well-known, positive role model." [Hollywood Reporter]
• If you're interested in reading an essay about Mike Tyson written by Ice-T, click here. [The Daily Beast]
• There's tension and "cattiness" in the Pussycat Dolls; in a recent concert, Melody said: "Thank you so much for supporting me - even if I'm not featured, you know what I'm saying?" [NY Daily News]
• Katy Perry and Travis McCoy of Gym Class Heroes: Back on. [Gatecrasher]
• Kate Walsh's divorce is getting nasty — there's a quibble over the accounting firm Walsh is using, which her estranged husband Alex Young says is doing PR for Walsh. [TMZ]
• Daniel Radcliffe is the "12th richest young person in the UK." He's got more cash than Princes William and Harry! [Telegraph]
• If you have $27,9995,000, you can buy the Holmby Hills house of Kimberly and Hugh Hefner. [LA Times]
• Yes, yes, James Franco's student films are inspired by gay poetry. [NY Mag]
• Ugly Betty returns this week, ending the rumor that the show was cancelled. [NY Daily News]
• Liam Neeson and his sons are "keeping busy with normal life" — like going to Knicks games. [People, Mirror]
• In this article, Dominic Monaghan spills on all of his travel memories. He says: "I do remember a fantastic holiday to Thailand with Billy Boyd and Orlando Bloom in my early twenties. We were all single, young and up for an adventure. We went to Bangkok then took off to the islands." [Independent]
• Curious what's up with Michael Keaton? He's directed a film, The Merry Gentlemen. And he's broken his foot. [LA Times]
• In a lengthy interview, Natasha McElhone talks about dealing with grief since the death of her husband one year ago. [Guardian]
• Rolling Stone Ronnie Wood, 61, plans to marry his girlfriend Ekaterina, 20, just as soon as he can get a "speedy" divorce from his wife, Jo, 54. [Mirror]
• Actor Campbell Scott got engaged in November, but we're just hearing about it now? Eh, congrats. [People]
• "Kylie Minogue and Richard Branson lose money but make UK rich list." [News.com.au]
• Aerosmith will perform on Maui to settle a class-action lawsuit resulting from a concert cancellation in 2007. [AP]
• "He was renowned for wearing grandpa-style spectacles but it now emerges that John Lennon's iconic look came about by accident…" [Daily Express]
• Blind item! "Which alcoholic songbird wears her sunglasses even inside her hair salon so no one can see how sauced she is?" [Gatecrasher]
• "I love her. It's great for her. It's what she wanted." — Josh Lucas on ex-girlfriend Salma Hayek getting married in Venice on Saturday. [People]
• "Tax got to 82% [in the 1970s] and I thought this was kind of unfair. Also, I see... that the government has taken it up to 50% and if it goes to 51 I will be back in America. I will not pay the Government more than I get. No way, ever. So they've reached their limit with me. That's the lot." — Michael Caine. [Telegraph]
• "I did read a scene for the Coen brothers last year, which they were amazed I would do. I was amazed they were amazed because apparently there's a whole etiquette I'm not aware of that says if you've been in a couple of films, you don't read. Which I find very strange, because how are the filmmakers supposed to know whether you can do it or not? I was very happy to read." — Tilda Swinton, when asked if she has ever auditioned for a role. [Backstage]
• "Life's a pain in the butt. You've got to be in shape for it. And the hell with the good old days. The most important thing is now. What are you this moment?" — Jack LaLanne, who still works out every day for two hours, lifting weights and swimming, at age 94. [Reuters]
• "I knew it was a joke. I knew it was supposed to be silly. Something like that I don't even take seriously. I thought it was hilarious." — Beyoncé, on the "screeching" clip made by prankster Matthew Zeghibe. [Gatecrasher]
• "I was raised in the country. When it was warm outside we were out there in shorts, no shirt, no shoes. I was doing that long before anybody was taking pictures and people like you were seeing it." — Matthew McConaughey. [Newsweek]
• "I know I've never done any independent film before…but there aren't that many other scripts out there with great parts for women my age. It's a true phenomenon that the parts dwindle as you get older. You wake up one day and you're flabbergasted to find out…so, this has happened to me. When I started out," she continues, "It was right around the time when Meryl Streep and Jessica Lange and Sally Field-all these actresses getting older-were still having big movies every year. There was a Sophie's Choice, a Norma Rae, etc. I thought, this is a new era, and I won't have to worry. It will all be fixed by the time I'm 40! And of course, it wasn't. All of us female actors think we can just keep going and going. But it's not always the case." — Geena Davis. [The Daily Beast]
• "We know so much about every actor on planet Earth. We know how they like to slice their avocado, what they named their baby. When I'm watching them save the world in a movie, I don't want to be thinking about their baby's name. I will now go on record to say I'm not going to even name my kid." — Ryan Reynolds. [NY Mag]

In the past week Perez and Prejean (with help from the 24-hour news networks) have refused to let the controversy die down. Each is taking advantage of the situation to further their respective careers, or as they would likely put it, to speak out on this important civil rights issue.

In the aptly titled MSNBC article, "OMG Perez Hilton! Won't You Please Shut Up?" Helen A.S. Popkin blames the internet for turning Perez Hilton (real name Mario Lavandeira), "the gossip blogger who built a career by drawing male genitalia and cartoon cocaine on celebrity photos" into the media's go-to spokesman on gay rights. She says that what everyone seems to be forgetting is that back in 2005, gay rights activists were actually at war with Hilton because he was using his increasingly popular celebrity blog to "out" celebrities he thought were gay but still in the closet.

Popkin references a 2006 Salon article, "Perez Hilton's Gay Witch Hunt," which explained how many believe his outing campaigns against Lance Bass and Neil Patrick Harris are what forced them to publicly admit that they are gay. Author Japhy Grant quoted Hilton as saying, "In my own way, subserviently, I am trying to make the world a better place."
Grant writes:

This raises the question: How does drawing cum stains on Clay Aiken's mouth, crudely scrawling the word "bottom" across a photo of Lance Bass or putting a call out to anyone who has "slept with Neil Patrick Harris" make the world a better place for gay or straight people? And what does it say about the mainstream press that it has adopted him?

Since then, Hilton has become more of a celebrity himself, which is why he was chosen as one of the judges for the Miss USA pageant in the first place. However, in interviews with most of the major news networks this week, Hilton eagerly took the opportunity to paint himself as a crusader for gay rights, commenting not only on the question he asked at the pageant, but advocating for gay marriage as a homosexual man. It's rarely noted in these interviews that the man who called Carrie Prejean a "bitch" and a "cunt" and continues to pepper his website with penis doodles hasn't been sanctioned by anyone as a spokesman for the gay community, or people who support same-sex marriage.

James Rainey points out in todays L.A. Times that Hilton originally seemed most upset that Prejean hadn't stuck to the pageant code and concealed her beliefs. He suggested she should have answered, "I should represent all Americans and I'm not here to talk about politics." But Prejean changed her tune as well once it became apparent that her answer was becoming much more than "a YouTube moment." She originally lamented to Fox News, "If I had any other question, I know I would have won." By Tuesday, she had realized, "I think that I was the one that was blessed enough to get this question ... I am so blessed that I was able to speak my mind, my thoughts, my convictions in front of millions of people."

Just imagine what would have happened if a contestant representing some other god-forsaken state had gotten the question! We just wish it would have gone to the 2003 Miss California, Nicole Lamarche, who is now a pastor. In one of the most eloquent commentaries on the issue, she explains that the section of the Bible that condemns gays contains many rules most Christians no longer follow. "The truth is that it is difficult to know for sure the intentions of the biblical authors, but we do know something about God," she writes. "Those of us who know God through Jesus of Nazareth know that he went to great lengths to express God's love to people who were labeled as outcasts."

Prejean has been embraced by Christian conservatives, despite the fact that she, like Hilton, has little qualification to represent an official stance on gay marriage. She's never said that she spent many hours considering the issue before forming her opinion, that's just "how her family raised her." Maybe before making Prejean the spokeswoman for their cause, those against gay marriage should check out radio host Jay Smooth's hilarious video blog below (via Feministing), in which he explains that Prejean's answer was so poorly phrased that it can actually be interpreted as a statement in favor of same-sex marriage.

OMG! Perez Hilton! Won't You Please Shut Up? [MSNBC]
Perez Hilton's Gay Witch Hunt [Salon]
When Opportunity Knocks, Beauty And The Blogger Take It [The L.A. Times]
The Truth About Perez Hilton & Miss California [Feministing]
Quotables: Nicole LaMarche [Evil Beet Gossip]

Earlier: Celebrity Missives About Miss California Make Us Wish For World Peace
War Of Words: Miss California Vs. Perez Hilton

• El oh el: It appears none of the celebrity weeklies have bought exclusive rights to pictures of Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt's wedding this weekend.

A source says they're not worried, because chances are, the pix will end up in all the mags: "They'd rather be on page 50 of Us, People, In Touch or Life & Style than be on the cover of a magazine like OK! that isn't going to sell. They need to make money, and so does the magazine. The formula is changing," spills a source. [MSNBC Scoop]

• In this video of concert footage, Britney's extensions get ripped out of her head and left behind on a couch. [Perez Hilton]
• Kudos to TMZ for the headline, "Britney Weaves It All On Stage." [TMZ]
• Lily Allen celebrated the end of her tour by having a "massive ice cream fight" in her dressing room. But she paid the clean-up bill: "Cost me $2,000. End of tour, time to get mashed." [The Sun]
• In case you forgot that Madonna's boyfriend Jesus Luz has a job, he totally walked the runway in a Jeffrey Fashion Cares fashion show. How do we feel about those white trousers? [WWD]
• Even though Miley Cyrus is with Justin Gaston, is she still hung up on her ex, Nick Jonas? Were they making out recently? Are they MFEO (made for each other)? [Gatecrasher]
• Jay Leno, who hasn't missed work in years, checked himself into a hospital with a "mystery illness." [NY Daily News]
• Paris Hilton's "BFF," Brittany Flickinger, was in a car crash in Hollywood last night; she wasn't wearing a seat belt and slammed her head into the windshield. Luckily, she escaped with only a chipped bone in her leg. [TMZ]
• Behold: Video of Justin Timberlake, in foxy glasses, talking about his mancrush on LeBron James: "He just lights me up!" He also declares Caddy Shack as the best sports movie ever. [Rolling Stone]
• Ashton Kutcher's Twitter can now be considered a place to break new artists; he wrote about an unsigned singer/songwriter named Alex Highton and now the guy's MySpace is blowing up. [Telegraph]
• Guess who stars in one of Kanye West's next videos? Rihanna. Yeezy says, "She's an amazing talent…Collaborating with her is always a pleasure!" [Fashion Week Daily]
• Amy Winehouse's dad flew to St. Lucia yesterday to check on the singer. Will they go horseback riding together? [The Sun]
• Beyoncé wants to do Broadway in a couple of years, when she's settled down and had some rugrats with Jay-Z: "It's my ideal job," she explains. "I'll be able to go to the theater every day and drop my kids off and maybe make some food — maybe I'll know how to cook by then — and then go do what I love and have some normalcy and have a regular schedule." [Reuters]
• Kim Kardashian on Miss California, Carrie Prejean: "I don't agree with her narrow mindedness and neither do a lot of people… Everyone has the right to be happy and be treated equally and I think not allowing gay marriage just kind of puts us back." But KK also says: "Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. She stood up for what she believes in so she should be happy with that backlash." [People]
• Is Pam Anderson down and out? Or is Courtney Love high? Wait. Don't answer that. Courtney says: "Pam Anderson doesn't even have a credit card. And she lives in Paradise Cove — which is in Malibu, but it's a trailer park in Malibu." [Page Six]
• This piece about Russell Crowe begins: "He is a man's man - or, rather, he is the kind of man in whom shabby, ageing, overweight, altogether untidy and unresolved males can see their manly image. In other words, Russell Crowe seems more than happy taking very little care of himself, his appearance or his 'glamour.'" Why don't you tell us how you really feel? [Guardian]
• Jerry Seinfeld's grandparents arrived in this country via Ellis Island, and their story will be in the spotlight on May 19, when the Statue of Liberty-Ellis Island Foundation bestows a "family heritage" award on Seinfeld. [NY Times]
• Parker Posey is no longer dating Keanu Reeves and has moved on to a graphic designer and sculptor named Scott Lenhardt. As seen in this picture, they're super happy and adorbs. [NY Mag]
• Aww, pictures of Slumdog Millionaire stars Dev Patel and Freida Pinto nuzzling up to each other over lunch in Israel — where Pinto is filming — will melt your cold, tiny heart. [Daily Mail]
• This report calls Kate Middleton Prince William's "bride in waiting," and notes that it's been discovered that she's related to Swallows And Amazons creator Arthur Ransome. [Daily Express]
• Blogger Julia Allison lives in the same apartment building as Rosie O'Donnell. Wednesday she posted a Twitter which read: "Holy shit. My neighbor Rosie O'Donnell has been having a knock down drag out screaming match with Kelli for the last hour. Sad. :( " Anywho, JA deleted the post, maybe because it's an invasion of privacy, but it's sorta too late. [Ed note: This will be the only mention of Ms. Allison on this blog for all of 2009.] [Gawker]
• Dane Cook was on Larry King Live, talking about his half-brother and former manager who embezzled millions from him: "It's a terrible betrayal. But hopefully justice will be served and I can move on with my life." [ET]
• Sniffle: Elton John, Paul McCartney and Mick Jagger have lost "huge chunks" of their personal fortunes due to the economic crisis. [Reuters]
• Stephen Dorff has joined the cast of the porn industry comedy Born To Be A Star, which is produced and co-written by Adam Sandler. [Variety]
• Blind item! "Which closeted - and married - actor almost had his cover blown when he hit on a straight man in a sauna? Word is the offended dude is now quite wealthy, thanks to a payoff." [Gatecrasher]
• "Although I'm her friend, [I don't want to defend her to her detractors] because that's their right as well. They feel really strongly about their opinion for pro-gay rights, and that's great." — Miss USA on Miss California. [Gatecrasher]
• "I realized I was spending hours and hours in the middle of the night signing autographs. Unless I had assistants forging letters and signatures I knew I couldn't continue. So I posted a message on the internet saying: 'If I can't do it honestly, I won't do it any more.'" — Viggo Mortensen, on answering fan mail. [Daily Mail]
• "He called me and said, 'You know let's do it right away.' It was really emotional. I think the only way he could have come back was right after because his family was all there to support his boys. Liam is heroic. He came back and finished. I think he's trying to absorb [what's happened] ... He's suddenly a single parent with absolutely no preparation for that. But he is surrounded by people that really love him. There is a lot of support." — Director Atom Egoyan, on Liam Neeson, who returned to the set of the film Chloe days after his wife Natasha Richardson died. [People]
• "We're just extremely careful with our shit. I keep a CD with me, I'm the only one who usually has a CD. Maybe me and Dre… Other than that, nobody has it." — Eminem, on how his new album avoided getting leaked. [Rolling Stone]
• "Watching it was horribly unhealthy for me. You think that would help keep me sober, you know seeing myself as this raving lunatic...It absolutely triggered these crazy urges to get loaded." — Steve-O on watching his upcoming documentary about his addiction and recovery. [E!]
• "For some reason people think like if you tell someone they're too thin that's OK. But if you tell someone they're too heavy that's insulting… It hurts either way. I'm the same weight I was before I was pregnant. I've been pregnant for two years in a row. I'm the same weight I was on 90210. I'm the same weight I was before I met Dean and we got married. It's the same." — Tori Spelling. [AP]
• "If you read some of his early-life autobiography, it's horrible... the amount of mental anguish he has to go through, just to have any kind of even vaguely sexual relationship. It's really depressing what he's going through in his head. Dali had a massive fear of penetration – penetrating someone or being penetrated… [As for the love scenes with a man,] I think girls almost really like watching something like that. From what I've read, people really get excited about that – it sounds really sexy!" — Robert Pattinson on playing Salvador Dali. [Independent]
• "Marijuana has always been that drug that united people. It's always been on the verge of being legal. It's hardly a drug really. When people look at marijuana, they look at it as an enjoyment of connecting." — Redman. [NY Daily News]
• "Most of the time, songs that I write end up being finished in 30 minutes or less. 'Love Story' I wrote on my bedroom floor in about 20 minutes. When I get on a roll with something, it's really hard for me to put it down unfinished. — From "10 Questions For Taylor Swift." [Time]
• "I don't even know what 'tweeting' means ... but it sounds dirty!" — Michelle Trachtenberg. [Gatecrasher]