If they are surrogates for male gay couples the baby will technically be biologically the woman's. Whether the baby is the man's or not she and her baby are the spouse of the enlisted serviceperson and have a right to medical coverage.
Won't the baby will have to be adopted by the non-bio dad. Won't the surrogate mother will have to give the baby up for adoption (I know there are surrogate agreements etc, but if it is her egg and she is carrying the baby...)
Yes, complicated and maybe questionable use of medical care, but if the baby is technically the mother's child up until she gives it up, I doubt they are going to go after these women.
Tricare, the military insurance, has been under fire for the past few years for being too costly. This cost may get past down to ALL military families and they will be forced to pay more out of pocket whether active or retired. So for all the military families that can barely make ends meet and rely on WIC and food stamps, this would translate to ~$100/month they will no longer have if Congress decides Tricare needs an overhall.
Awesome that Howard and her husband support one another. Awesome that this great gay couple is getting a child. Taking advantage of the military healthcare system? Totally not awesome.
They have to pay for their own medical care? Couldn't that potentially ruin your profit margin? If I'm gonna be a surrogate, they better pay my medical bills, in addition to whatever else they're paying me. I just think if you're gonna pay someone to be pregnant, you should pay all the way. But that's just me.
@onydchic: Srsly. I love my minis, but I did NOT enjoy being pregnant. It was awful 90% of the time (the other 10% was when the twins would kick and get hiccups, which was actually kind of awesome). I'd had a few miscarriages before I'd gone to term with my daughters, and each time it was brutal.
Also, as quick as they are to cut corners and services, especially for dependents' health care, wouldn't Tricare balk at paying for the services if they found out it wasn't their bio-kid? Even if it wasn't until the birth and the adoption by the other couple, it seems like the military would find out--you wouldn't be enrolling the kid into the DEERS system as anothe dependent.
I've seen people be saddled with astronomical healthcare and college tuition bills, when the military retroactively bills for these services rendered after an armed service member is convicted of "fraudulent enlistment" (finding out someone is gay or popping pos on a drug test, for example), with no recourse in U.S. courts. Couldn't they do this to a family that did this?
@Cafezinha: not afraid to get servicey on your ass.: What concerns me is she isn't due until October, but is admitting she's a surrogate. I wonder if she's compromising her chance at coverage. Not sure how much I can blame her for making this choice, but it seems awful risky to talk to the LA Times about it, even if it was a good article.
I have seriously discussed being a surrogate for my friend and his boyfriend before, and never thought of this angle.
I'm the wife of a naval officer, so I'd have the free healthcare and so on, but I've never been impressed with the military health system--90 percent of the time, it seems like the old cliché of "they're there 'cos they have nowhere else to go" seems just as true for the doctors, and it's scary.
When I had the mini-Zinhas, the place where we were stationed did not have obstetrical care at the military hospital, so I was referred out...to a clinic that primarily serviced Medicaid patients. Like the military doc situation, not all of these free clinics are crap, but there is definitely a difference in standard of care.
And it was STILL more competent than anything I'd seen at the Navy hospitals.
@Cafezinha: not afraid to get servicey on your ass.: my mom had me and my sister at naval hospitals. she said not only was it a horrible experience, it was the worst she has ever been treated in her life. i was three weeks late and almost kamikazed my mom and myself because the dr waited too long to pop me out. my sister was born a couple years later and my mom had to insist on a c-section because of what happened with me. she had to fight them for everything.
@Cafezinha: not afraid to get servicey on your ass.: I respectfully disagree. My husband was a Navy Family Practice doctor, and his care for his patients earned him many kudos, and a few medals, to boot.
The Navy has one of the best Family Practice residency programs in the U.S., the reason he resigned his surgery residency to go back into the Navy when he could have gone elsewhere. My care in the Naval Hospital at Cherry Point, NC, was extremely good; I couldn't have asked for more.
@gerbilsoutofexile...is cheap and easy: I need to get Sr. Zinha stationed at some of these places. We've had nothing but bullshit experiences from EVERYWHERE we've been. I think we must have the worst luck with that, because as I said, I know that it can't POSSIBLY be everywhere--you are not the first I've heard say great things about the system--but I have yet to see it, as have many of my dependent compatriots.
@gerbilsoutofexile...is cheap and easy: I'm lying...I do have one positive experience of note: my cardiologist. He is very relaxed, respectful, and willing to work with my lifestyle (finding ways to be active without exacerbating my heart problems, rather than demanding I go FULL STOP and take up knitting and oh by the way call the DMV and exaggerate how bad my problems are and get my license medically revoked when I call in a complaint about having the bedside manner of a rotten cactus...not that this happened to me...hee), and he doesn't talk to me like I'm a moron.
Sorry about your bad experience - rotten cacti have no place in the medical profession! They should stay out in the desert with the snakes and coyotes, where they belong.
@gerbilsoutofexile...is cheap and easy: I'm with Gerbils here - although my current prenatal care is provided by the military it's at a civilian hospital. A nice one. But in my 26 years, 24 of which I've had Tricare, I've had more positive experiences than negative. Some of the doctors are shit but my current PCM is amazing. And also hot.
@BlondeGrlz: I meant to add that when my mother had all three of her children in Navy hospitals, she had to do it drug-free, since the anesthesiologist only worked normal business hours. One of the many reasons I'm glad to be at a civilian hospital.
Although I'm glad that a couple is able to get a baby, my first thought went to the reality that she's probably doing this because she needs money.
The stay-at-home mother did not like to admit it, but she could use the money. Howard stretched every dollar of Brian's $56,000 yearly income, wearing old clothes, clipping coupons, shopping for sales at Wal-Mart and occasionally tapping the food pantry at the Armed Services YMCA. She had worked part time at a clothing store in the local mall, but quit when her husband was sent back to the Middle East. Surrogacy money would provide a much-needed safety net for her children, Maria, 14, Anthony, 12, Ezekiel, 10, Tacina, 8, Chaeli, 4, and Izaac, 16 months.
I'm not judging her for the decision she made but I think it speaks to the continued lack of financial support that military families face that surrogacy becomes a legitimate option for income. Pregnancy is not an easy thing and she's put her health on the line. So, instead of being simply happy for her and the couple, I think we should be asking why we often only pay lip service to military families.
@Ms. Crankypants: I could handle the constant figurative ass-fuckings we get, as family members, if they'd just straight up tell us that they don't give much of a shit about the families. I can handle assholes, as long as I know what I'm dealing with. What I can't handle is people who stroke your back with one hand and stab it with the other.
@Cafezinha: not afraid to get servicey on your ass.: I don't understand why they get away with it. I am generally a pacifist but I understand the need for a military & military families deserve all the support they can get. I volunteered in the Canadian equivalent of a VA hospital and it didn't matter to me whether I agreed with our government's military choices, these men & women sacrificed on our behalf & they should be fully financially supported, and I was honoured to be able to help them in whatever way I could. Thank you for doing what you do.
@Ms. Crankypants: Dude, thanks. I mean that. I'm not one of those out loud and proud "HALF OF MY HEART IS IN IRAQ" glitter blinkies on my MySpace kind of Navy wives, but I do feel kind of stretched thin sometimes and I appreciate when people at least give a silent terrorist fist bump of solidarity. Yes, Sr. Zinha had a choice to join, nobody held a gun to his head, but it's still a necessary, shitty job and it's nice to get occasional recognition for that.
@Ms. Crankypants: I'm going to get slammed for this. Buuuut family planning?
56,000 dollars... is not an insignificant amount of money to be raising a family on. My mom is is nearing 60 and her pay is only dipping above that, and for a number of years my father was disabled and unable to work. The difference is my parents made a conscious decision to stop after 2 kids (they have a 3rd now and she's an oops baby, but it's basically 1 kid on that salary as opposed to three because I'm old and my sister is old and they don't support us).
It is probably very difficult to raise a family of 8 on that salary. But they must have realized the financial constraints they were facing, I dunno around baby 3 and stopped having kids. .
@LibidinousSlut: No, I totally agree. I was thinking more in general about whether military families being undersupported led to women to consider surrogacy. It seems odd, that healthcare aside, that this is more common in military families. Not necessarily the specific woman in this story because, I fully agree that 6 kids is a lot given their financial situation.
It's not her baby and it's not Brian's baby. It's the couple's baby, so I think they (the couple) should pay for the medical care. The military is funded by tax dollars, so now I'm paying for the baby.
I grew up as an ARMY brat and I received free medical care, but was the actual child of a military officer, so it's not really the same.
I know, financially speaking, that they need the money because he's not getting paid enough, but I'm not sure about this.
@linnyt is a walking cliché: I guess, but what if this was an open adoption. And from the start, this couple knew the baby would be theirs - it wouldn't be cheating the system then would it?
This also makes it sound like the only health being taken into consideration is that of the fetus. Pregnancy is a women's health issue - not just a fetus health issue.
@Majrhoulihan: but they purposely set out to get a fetus in her womb in order to make money. adoptions don't seem like a capitalistic venture to me. you give a baby up for adoption, not sell it or the resources that made it.
@DuchessofHazards: I'm with you. As a former Navy wife of a Navy doc, I don't like the fact that our tax dollars are being used to provide other people with babies, especially in other countries.
The military health care system is taxed enough as it is. Adoption is very different - wombs-for-hire is a business and should be treated as such.
@gerbilsoutofexile...is cheap and easy: I'm with you on it being shady, but I think if they stop covering medical care, these women could be in a world of trouble.
So surrogacy pregnancies don't receive coverage. What if this woman develops diabetes? Then she has to get her diabetes and her prenancy issues handled by two different insurers and almost certainly two different doctors/healthcare systems?
@DuchessofHazards: the thing is, cases like this probably make up about .15% of our total US health care costs. I'm talking one-fifteenth of 1 percent. So I'm not too worried about it, actually. I see what you're saying, but think about how rarely this is actually happening.
@DuchessofHazards: I'm definitely going to disagree with your statement here though. Pregnancy is technically a medical condition affecting the pregnant woman; it's only been relatively recently that we (the collective we) even considered looking at a pregnancy from the perspective of the fetus. The fact that it's someone else's fertilized egg in there actually has no relevance, imo. The woman is still the recipient of the healthcare.
I'm all for surrogacy. I think it's great for many reasons. Military wife need to make money too and especially when they are forced to move every two years, sometimes things have to get unconventional.
What I am not thrilled about is tax-payer money that funds military healthcare is being used for it. If the French couple wants a kid, I think they should pay the healthcare costs, not taxpayers.
@linnyt is a walking cliché: considering that the french have fantastic health insurance, too! why can't they find a surrogate in france or another european country? it's not just a gay couple thing...or is it?
we can't get proper medical care to u.s. citizens who need it, yet people who aren't even u.s. citizens can use our government/military health insurance plans to their own uses. of course money changes hands and what not, but on a fundamental level, there's something wrong.
@rednrowdy: In this example the would-be parents are French, but that's beside the point. It's an abuse of the system no matter who does it, American or not.
"they don't cry, they don't complain at the drop of a hat. [...] They handle everything when their husbands are gone." Because, you know, god forbid a pregnant woman be emotionally labile in any way. Sheesh. Otherwise, a very nice story among otherwise bleak news.
"They don't cry, they don't complain at the drop of a hat."
...what? This is absolutely offensive. Surrogate mothers seem like the kind of woman that would accept and endure anything baby-related with serenity and patience, since they're making a conscious choice about it.
@TheFakeJanelle: Seriously, what are they, worried that the mother's tears will cause the baby to be infected with thetans? They're women, not robots! Hormones are all over the place, they're maintaining another life inside of them, pardon them if they get emotional. Sweet Jesus. If you want stoicism in your preggos, move to ancient Sparta.
@TheFakeJanelle: agreed. their comment makes me wonder if they actually realize what the surrogate is taking on with a husband away and children of their own to take care of alone.
taking hormones and all of that jazz out of it...on some level, i'm sure it's easy to not complain or cry when the surrogates have great health insurance and are working with doctors that they already know and trust.
I love how a military family is carrying a baby for a gay French couple. Dang, that makes me feel patriotic and happy. There are not red states and blue states! There are military wives who carry babies for gay people in France!
03/13/09
Won't the baby will have to be adopted by the non-bio dad. Won't the surrogate mother will have to give the baby up for adoption (I know there are surrogate agreements etc, but if it is her egg and she is carrying the baby...)
Yes, complicated and maybe questionable use of medical care, but if the baby is technically the mother's child up until she gives it up, I doubt they are going to go after these women.
03/13/09
Tricare, the military insurance, has been under fire for the past few years for being too costly. This cost may get past down to ALL military families and they will be forced to pay more out of pocket whether active or retired. So for all the military families that can barely make ends meet and rely on WIC and food stamps, this would translate to ~$100/month they will no longer have if Congress decides Tricare needs an overhall.
Awesome that Howard and her husband support one another. Awesome that this great gay couple is getting a child. Taking advantage of the military healthcare system? Totally not awesome.
03/13/09
03/13/09
For that alone, I admire her. I've never been pregnant, and I'm NOT enjoying that phase, well in advance.
03/13/09
Yeah, I have never been pregnant either and I think it sounds really un-enjoyable.
03/13/09
I am not a happy, glowy pregnant gal.
03/13/09
I've seen people be saddled with astronomical healthcare and college tuition bills, when the military retroactively bills for these services rendered after an armed service member is convicted of "fraudulent enlistment" (finding out someone is gay or popping pos on a drug test, for example), with no recourse in U.S. courts. Couldn't they do this to a family that did this?
03/13/09
03/13/09
I'm the wife of a naval officer, so I'd have the free healthcare and so on, but I've never been impressed with the military health system--90 percent of the time, it seems like the old cliché of "they're there 'cos they have nowhere else to go" seems just as true for the doctors, and it's scary.
When I had the mini-Zinhas, the place where we were stationed did not have obstetrical care at the military hospital, so I was referred out...to a clinic that primarily serviced Medicaid patients. Like the military doc situation, not all of these free clinics are crap, but there is definitely a difference in standard of care.
And it was STILL more competent than anything I'd seen at the Navy hospitals.
03/13/09
03/13/09
The Navy has one of the best Family Practice residency programs in the U.S., the reason he resigned his surgery residency to go back into the Navy when he could have gone elsewhere. My care in the Naval Hospital at Cherry Point, NC, was extremely good; I couldn't have asked for more.
03/13/09
03/13/09
03/13/09
Sorry about your bad experience - rotten cacti have no place in the medical profession! They should stay out in the desert with the snakes and coyotes, where they belong.
03/13/09
03/13/09
03/13/09
The stay-at-home mother did not like to admit it, but she could use the money. Howard stretched every dollar of Brian's $56,000 yearly income, wearing old clothes, clipping coupons, shopping for sales at Wal-Mart and occasionally tapping the food pantry at the Armed Services YMCA. She had worked part time at a clothing store in the local mall, but quit when her husband was sent back to the Middle East. Surrogacy money would provide a much-needed safety net for her children, Maria, 14, Anthony, 12, Ezekiel, 10, Tacina, 8, Chaeli, 4, and Izaac, 16 months.
I'm not judging her for the decision she made but I think it speaks to the continued lack of financial support that military families face that surrogacy becomes a legitimate option for income. Pregnancy is not an easy thing and she's put her health on the line. So, instead of being simply happy for her and the couple, I think we should be asking why we often only pay lip service to military families.
03/13/09
QUIT BULLSHITTIN' US, NAVY.
03/13/09
03/13/09
03/13/09
03/13/09
56,000 dollars... is not an insignificant amount of money to be raising a family on. My mom is is nearing 60 and her pay is only dipping above that, and for a number of years my father was disabled and unable to work. The difference is my parents made a conscious decision to stop after 2 kids (they have a 3rd now and she's an oops baby, but it's basically 1 kid on that salary as opposed to three because I'm old and my sister is old and they don't support us).
It is probably very difficult to raise a family of 8 on that salary. But they must have realized the financial constraints they were facing, I dunno around baby 3 and stopped having kids. .
03/13/09
03/13/09
03/13/09
03/13/09
03/13/09
03/13/09
03/13/09
It's not her baby and it's not Brian's baby. It's the couple's baby, so I think they (the couple) should pay for the medical care. The military is funded by tax dollars, so now I'm paying for the baby.
I grew up as an ARMY brat and I received free medical care, but was the actual child of a military officer, so it's not really the same.
I know, financially speaking, that they need the money because he's not getting paid enough, but I'm not sure about this.
I am genuinely very conflicted.
03/13/09
03/13/09
This also makes it sound like the only health being taken into consideration is that of the fetus. Pregnancy is a women's health issue - not just a fetus health issue.
03/13/09
03/13/09
The military health care system is taxed enough as it is. Adoption is very different - wombs-for-hire is a business and should be treated as such.
03/13/09
So surrogacy pregnancies don't receive coverage. What if this woman develops diabetes? Then she has to get her diabetes and her prenancy issues handled by two different insurers and almost certainly two different doctors/healthcare systems?
03/13/09
03/13/09
@DuchessofHazards: I'm definitely going to disagree with your statement here though. Pregnancy is technically a medical condition affecting the pregnant woman; it's only been relatively recently that we (the collective we) even considered looking at a pregnancy from the perspective of the fetus. The fact that it's someone else's fertilized egg in there actually has no relevance, imo. The woman is still the recipient of the healthcare.
03/13/09
What I am not thrilled about is tax-payer money that funds military healthcare is being used for it. If the French couple wants a kid, I think they should pay the healthcare costs, not taxpayers.
03/13/09
03/13/09
we can't get proper medical care to u.s. citizens who need it, yet people who aren't even u.s. citizens can use our government/military health insurance plans to their own uses. of course money changes hands and what not, but on a fundamental level, there's something wrong.
03/13/09
03/13/09
03/13/09
03/13/09
...what? This is absolutely offensive. Surrogate mothers seem like the kind of woman that would accept and endure anything baby-related with serenity and patience, since they're making a conscious choice about it.
03/13/09
03/13/09
03/13/09
taking hormones and all of that jazz out of it...on some level, i'm sure it's easy to not complain or cry when the surrogates have great health insurance and are working with doctors that they already know and trust.
03/13/09
I'm not saying this well, damnit.