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Oprah's On Top; Gwyneth Stinks

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clevernamehere
08/14/09

In reply to Oprah's On Top; Gwyneth Stinks
Oh Heidi! That comment just made me think you have no idea what an orgasm feels like.
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charliekohler
08/14/09

In reply to Oprah's On Top; Gwyneth Stinks
Am I the only one who feels the need to say this?

Veronicas, be careful! Courtney Love may be a psychobitch, but she could still kick your asses.
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FireflyinJuly
08/14/09

In reply to Oprah's On Top; Gwyneth Stinks
IN reference to Scar Jo, is the video "zzz" in the snooze inducing way or is it an electricifying zzzzzz?
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Dodai
08/14/09

@FireflyinJuly: SNOOZE
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Mafalda para Presidente
08/14/09

In reply to Oprah's On Top; Gwyneth Stinks
My god, how did they ever figure out that Amy Winehouse was PRETENDING to be her cat on Facebook? With all the other cats creating Facebook profiles all by their thumb-less selves, it must have been difficult to figure that one out.
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kellieherson
08/14/09

In reply to Oprah's On Top; Gwyneth Stinks
Why am I not seeing Don Draper lookalikes everywhere I go?
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cuteasabutton promoted this comment kellieherson was starred kellieherson was unstarred

Remedios Varo can't see no huevos.
08/14/09

In reply to Oprah's On Top; Gwyneth Stinks
"I was never very sexual before I met Spencer. Sex was just something that happened. Now it's something I look forward to every minute of the day… it makes me want to try every new thing, doing it all kinds of ways — indoors, outdoors, upside down."

So, ... are Heidi and Spencer the new Will and Jada?
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Leucadia
08/14/09

In reply to Oprah's On Top; Gwyneth Stinks
Heidi's claim reminds me of the Seinfeld where George gets smarter the longer he goes without sex. Perhaps this is the key to her seeming mental deficiency?
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sewradical
08/14/09

@Leucadia: True story. Isaac Newton also believed that sex made you dumb. So he didn't have it.
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sequined promoted this comment Edited by sewradical at 08/14/09 10:11 AM sewradical was starred sewradical was unstarred

sequined
08/14/09

@sewradical: I'd rather be dumb than hard-up.
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sequined
08/14/09

@sewradical: And you'd think someone with the brain power of IsNew would be able to risk a couple of IQ points for the (totally worth it) trade off of getting laid.
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Maritsa
08/14/09

@Leucadia: Hmm. But not having sex made Elaine dumber, so...I guess that means Heidi's a virgin.
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Rooo sez BISH PLZ
08/14/09

In reply to Oprah's On Top; Gwyneth Stinks
"Michael Phelps... a three-car accident ... Alcohol was not involved"

Are we ... supposed to guess?
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ericacartman
08/14/09

In reply to Oprah's On Top; Gwyneth Stinks
Does anyone else think about Chad Michael Murray when they see Conrad Murray's name? And then think, "What the hell does MJ have to do with Chad Michael Murray?!"
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Jenloveshercurves
08/14/09

In reply to Oprah's On Top; Gwyneth Stinks
Kate Blanchet as Mildred Peirce? Oh my goodness, this should be amazing. I love the original and Joan Crawford's eyebrows.
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morninggloria
08/14/09

In reply to Oprah's On Top; Gwyneth Stinks
Eddie Vedder's quote about an "ashtray that he trusted" sort of makes me want to wife him.
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TildeMarks
08/14/09

@morninggloria: I have a trusted ashtray, and one should never underestimate the value of such things. Then again, I'd kinda marry Eddie Vedder anyway.
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fakezen
08/14/09

@TildeMarks: I don't smoke but I do have a mug I trust. I am also a little suspicious of my toaster.
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BabyJane promoted this comment fakezen was starred fakezen was unstarred

EdnasEdibles
08/14/09

@morninggloria: Honestly I can say that I can't think of a better way to spend the day than sitting in a laundry room chain smoking with Eddie Vedder. Perhaps my standards of fun are too low . . .
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BabyJane
08/14/09

@fakezen: Everyone knows that toasters are no good.
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mishmisha
08/14/09

@EdnasEdibles: He really seems like a cool guy. We saw him in Baltimore earlier this summer, and people were just yelling out random songs he wasn't going to play, and he said "I've got a song, how about this: I'm from Baltimore, and I'm an asshole". It was great. Even all the assholes from Baltimore laughed.
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crotchety
08/14/09

In reply to Oprah's On Top; Gwyneth Stinks
Perhaps now Dr. Conrad Murray understands why in med school they kept telling him to get new patients' medical and drug history. Until today I guess he thought that was just useless paperwork.
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Dadadarling
08/14/09

In reply to Oprah's On Top; Gwyneth Stinks
Mischa Barton showed up for work with wet hair and a cigarette dangling from her lips, and this paper calls her "messed," "pale and haggard."

I call this "monday".
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haus_frau
08/14/09

@Dadadarling: Ha! For real!

I'd hate to have a tabloid break down my morning look as I roll in fifteen minutes late with wet hair and wearing whatever was on top of the floordrobe.
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mariamariamaria promoted this comment haus_frau was starred haus_frau was unstarred

Gretchen is a new kitten mom!
08/14/09

@Dadadarling: I call it "morning".
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TheFormerJuneBronson
08/14/09

@Dadadarling: Really. I teach the 8 AM section. If I don't arrive with wet hair and granola in my teeth, I'm way ahead of the game.
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morninggloria
08/14/09

In reply to Oprah's On Top; Gwyneth Stinks
"I was never very sexual before I met Spencer. Sex was just something that happened. Now it's something I look forward to every minute of the day… it makes me want to try every new thing, doing it all kinds of ways — indoors, outdoors, upside down."

Whenever Hollywood couples start talking like that, completely TMI-bombing the public with tales of how sexy their sex is and how sexily they sex each other, my mind grapes immediately begin wondering which one of them is gay.
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cuteasabutton
08/14/09

@morninggloria: Yes. See Jada and Will et al.
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jessicaismakingeyesatyou
08/14/09

@morninggloria: My thought was, "Don't good Chrisitian girls such as yourself wait until marriage? Why are you sharing that shit?"
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itsonreserve
08/14/09

@morninggloria: Can you even have 20 orgasms a day without imploding? I love 'em as much as the next girl, but seriously? I guess when you do nothing all day you have the time but....
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rednrowdy
08/14/09

@morninggloria: "I was never very sexual before I met Spencer. Sex was just something that happened. Now it's something I look forward to every minute of the day… it makes me want to try every new thing, doing it all kinds of ways — indoors, outdoors, upside down."

yeah. i kind of NEVER EVER wanted to know that.
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morninggloria
08/14/09

@itsonreserve: It sounds beyond the realm of our understanding of physics. Maybe you can have 20 orgasms a day if your vagina is made of antimatter or something.
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sequined
08/14/09

@jessicaismakingeyesatyou: Aren't they fake married? That probably means she can have twenty to thirty fake orgasms per day!
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Gretchen is a new kitten mom!
08/14/09

@rednrowdy: I need 5 gallons of brain bleach, STAT.
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TheFormerJuneBronson
08/14/09

@itsonreserve: I wondered the same thing. I had five once, but I was a lot younger then. Is she counting every clench, or what? Then again, it's not like she reads or anything. She probably has time to sit around and do nothing but have one orgasm after another.
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elliebean
08/14/09

In reply to Oprah's On Top; Gwyneth Stinks
My nethers would die attempting 20-30 orgasms a day.
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onestrawplz
08/14/09

@elliebean: Mine shriveled up in pain from just reading that declaration.
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