• Tom Ford has spoken: eyebrow wiggling is now a sign of displeasure. "I haven't had any plastic surgery — despite what people think, this is my nose...I have had Restylane and Botox, but I don't think of that as plastic surgery any more. It's true I can't really frown, but I can move my eyebrows, so..." [Guardian]
• Well, at least Manolo Blahnik is less ridiculous! Oh, wait. "Manolo Blahnik tumbles into the room wearing an extremely dapper royal-purple suit, purple and yellow knitted tie, orange suede shoes and black circular glasses à la Le Corbusier. He stretches out his hand, and when I shake it he squeaks in pain, shaking, then retracting it." [Independent]
• Jean-Paul Gaultier, maybe? “'I did a revue with my teddy bear at home...I pretended he had breasts. The first cone bra I did was for my teddy bear, not for Madonna. I had a strawberry box for the stage, and I put a lot of feathers on my teddy bear for the headdress. I used feathers from my cleaning brush for the finale.'” [NYT]
• Come. on, Zac Posen, redeem your industry: "Puppies, babies and plastic surgery are the new fashion. That's where fashion's going." [Big Think]

• It's official: Project Runway saved from a fate worse than death, aka Lifetime Television for Women. [NY Mag]
• "Ironically, runways in the nation that brought us an all-black Vogue were not only less diverse than New York's but disappointingly white." [Shophound]
• The sale of YSL's art collection — which includes Picassos, a Matisse, a Leger and a Mondrian — is expected by auctioneers to bring in 440 billion dollars. [Breitbart]
• The Stylista contestants revealed! One of them is named Cologne. [NY Mag]
• This Lancome lip gloss and this Marc Jacobs shirt kind of look alike. [Glam Chic]
• The Queen's preferred dressmaker on the verge of collapse! Experts suggest it, um, failed to move with the times. [Telegraph]
• In a weird coincidence, the designer of Diana's wedding dress is going under, too. [Daily Mail]
• The Sergio Rossi-Puma sneaker heel is the stuff nightmares are made of. [Fashionista]
• Kate Moss apparently "snogs the face off" some Vivienne Westwood cohort. [Mirror]
• The Eastpak allegedly "reinvented" by Raf Simons. That's what they said about cafeteria food. [LA Times]
• Shoes are apparently a better investment than stocks. Although not, presumably, if you walk in them. Cue Carrie Bradshaw reference. [Business Sheet]
• "On Monday, men's magazine GQ India hits the newsstands, following in the footsteps of other male-only publications such as Men's Health, Maxim, and FHM, and experts are saying this is further proof that Indian men are embracing more global fashions." Pictured: an Indian guy in what appears to be a gold leather Harlequin outfit and bow-tie. [Reuters]
• Burberry Children's to bring overpriced (adorable) mini duffel coats to U.S. market. [WWD]
• Lenny Kravitz barred from Ric Owens show; sneaks in anyway. [Style.com]
• "Over the last year, Mr. Margiela, known as fashion’s “Invisible Man” because he never gives interviews and has rarely been photographed, has told colleagues that he wants to stop designing and that he has begun a search for his successor at the house." So...how will anyone know? [NY Times]
• Speculation rampant that Plum Sykes querying Guardian style column. Okay, not really. [Guardian]
• We can't really wrap our heads around the new Pat Field for venerable frump-purveyor Marks and Sparks line, so will probably stick to weeping. [The Sun]
• Fashion feels the credit crunch. [WWD]
• Gareth Pugh brings back the Elizabethan ruff. [ElleUK]

It is hard to break into the show circuit. Designers are so given to rotating their regular crop of supes among themselves that they will make audiences wait for the top girls to rush over from the previous show rather than settle for a newbie. The big catwalks are awash with the Catherine McNeils and Lily Donaldsons of this world, meaning that thousands of hopefuls — who have already run the gauntlet of getting agency representation, building their books up to competitive standard, and developing a runway body by any means necessary — are competing for just a couple of spots in the shows people notice. Most new (Austria) and newish (Madeline) models need to get lucky to even book one of the tiny, overlooked shows that crowd the penumbra of the main fashion week calendars.

And then there's Cato Van Ee. I really want to like Cato. She seems intelligent. She has cool parents — parents who wisely got their daughter to finish high school despite the interruption of covers for L'Officiel and Dutch Elle and, oh yeah, that Prada/Miu Miu show exclusive. Maybe I've just been having a blah time with the clients since leaving my beloved New York, or maybe it's just the general fatigue of so many time zones and jets and trams and buses and tiny models apartments. Maybe I am an incorrigible grump. But I recognize a sort of Patrician smugness in Cato's face when she collapses in gales of ohmaigawds when her booker tells her the news that, yes, she has booked Prada for a second season, and that makes me want to kick her in the shins.

Especially when she does her "Wooo! Prada + Cato, best team ever!" hand jive in the back seat of her private car.

Things aren't going so well for Madeline and Austria. Austria looks sullen and exhausted at her castings — something which I can confirm was not simply due to editing. In person, Austria looks so much like a little girl, albeit a tall one, it's anybody's guess why IMG is pushing the child whose age was given as 14 in February so hard right now — with a few more years education and maturity, she could be, well, a humbler but no less successful Cato. Madeline glows and her body is phenomenal, but Milan just isn't much of a market for unknown girls with short hair.

So Madeline and Austria cut out for Paris castings early, while Cato walks Prada, Just Cavalli, Dolce And Gabbana, Allessandro Dell'Acqua, and probably 23 other well-regarded shows in her unperspiring, non-acneic spare time.

Bitch.

Next week: the light at the end of the tunnel... Paris.

Earlier: Vogue's Model.Live: Crap Instructions From A Casting Agent
Vogue's Model.Live Sets New Online Series Record For Time Taken To Jump The Shark
Vogue's Model.Live: The New York Fashion week Hustle Begins
Vogue's Model.Live: Models Are Strange, When You're An Agent
Vogue's Model.Live: Castings Can Really Be A Grind
Vogue's Model.Live: Don't Get Famous, And Other Gems Of Parental Wisdom
Points For Effort: Vogue Reality Series About Modeling Surprisingly Realistic, A Little Boring

Related: Model.Live Episode 8

• Everyone's favorite human being, Tim Gunn, likes Dunkin' Donuts (Grace Mirabella turned him onto it.) And he can't afford to buy an apartment in New York, either! (Stars! They're just like us!) [Time Out New York]
• Simon Doonan, the woman's champion, bemoans that there's "a lot of conformity, a lot of blonde hair ... I often wonder if feminism was just a dream. I can't believe how women feel so scrutinised, and they're still so self-critical - I thought they would have let go of that now but they haven't. There's a very masochistic thing with women now that I didn't used to see. My girl friends in the punk era weren't like that at all." [Guardian]
• How's the fashion set responding to the economic crisis? "Everyone's freaking out. Everyone." [WSJ]
• AOL pulls the plug on Glass-House dwellers Joan and Melissa Rivers' Emmy coverage because of repeated humorous references to the Third Reich, corpulence. [P6]

• Prada denies it's trolling for an investor in Dubai; says it's still going public. The economy says otherwise! [WWD]
• Tom Ford's bringing in the whole Mad Men design team to work on his directorial debut. Which we would totally do, if you changed "directorial debut" to "our apartment." [E!]
• Not shockingly, Woody Harrelson is a big advocate for hemp. [Guardian]
• Of her unisex clown-in-the-asylum collection for H&M, Rei Kawakubo declares, “The collection is constructed around Comme des Garçons’ style. Rather than aiming to make clothes that no one has ever seen before, it is very much Comme des Garçons to its roots. My priority has always been creativity, which was not the least bit compromised with this collection. That was the last thing H&M wanted us to do. Otherwise they wouldn’t have asked us.” [BlackBook]
• Munichers at Oktoberfest are furious - furious! - at the poor quality of cheap, Chinese-made lederhosen. [Business Week]
• Hoping to avoid a similar fate, Scottish kiltmakers hold a summit to protect their industry. [UPI]
• Our greatest minds have come up with Kix by Katie, "a stick-on, lightweight, supportive strip which is applied to the inside back hemline of pants. This useful innovative invention adds just a bit of extra weight to your pants, making them hang down nicely." Thus is eliminated the heel-wedgie, the apparent bane of many a high-heeled dame. [InventorSpot]
• Nike's in trouble. [WSJ]
• PETA harasses Armani customers because he went back on his word about not using fur. No one makes a fool of PETA! They do that themselves! [Daily Express]
• Gillian Anderson, for one, is furious with him. [FirstPost]
• He responds by releasing a chocolate. "Available at Armani/Dolci stores this week through the end of October, the dark chocolate praline sweets are enclosed in a thin coating of white chocolate, conjuring “a tiny ethereal ghost,” the company said." [WWD]
• We apparently don't feel nearly self-conscious enough about our rapidly-aging hands. [NYT]
• Did Anthropolgie rip off their whimsical wall design? [Slog]
• British film on Hijab fashion rubs some the wrong way. [Muslim Media Watch]
• Aw, no one wants Elton John's really expensive brooch! A casualty of the economy? [The Star]
• Some Milan designers apparently in deep economic denial, all about "optimism!" [VogueUK]

• What the world needs today: a celebrity fashion "collaboration"! The latest is Rachel Bilson, with Brian Reyes, and the apparel in question is bridesmaids dresses, for her BFF's wedding to The O.C. and Gossip Girl creator Josh Schwartz. We hope she choses a style that is flattering on people who are not anti-food. [Fashionista]
  
• In a sad day in the history of the legendary House of Givenchy, Justin Timberlake has been tapped to front a yet-to-launch new fragrance of theirs. And in heaven, Hubert de Givenchy cries into the bosom of Audrey Hepburn. [WWD, sub req'd]
  
• Fashion photographer Patrick Demarchelier, possibly off the deep end: "Love is everywhere. I look at you and I see love. Hearts are everywhere and love is everywhere. This is very good." Um, OK. [Fashion Week Daily]
  
• New York Times fashion critic Cathy Horyn: Banned again! This time from D&G. The As I Lay Dying of the garmentverse, that one. [Fashion Week Daily]

• On the whole, the buyers in attendance at the Milan shows thought they, how to put this, sucked. [WWD, sub req'd]
• A dress worn by Kate Moss! Now on eBay! [Sassybella]
• Do you like McDreamy as the face of Versace Men? [Uh, is that a rhetorical question? -Moe] [Sassybella]
• French label Paul & Joe: Now designing Perrier cans. We last heard of them when they did a Target collection. [Sassybella]
• Karl Lagerfeld, never one to miss out on a moment of potential glory, is staging a shhhhhsecret Fendi fashion show during Paris fashion week. Even though, like, Fendi's an Italian label and just showed. [Vogue UK]
• English designer/Agyness Deyn BFF Henry Holland: Collaborating with Levi's on an eight-piece capsule collection. For those of you who care enough to know who Agyness Deyn's BFF is, we can only assume. [Catwalk Queen]
• Hugo Boss is launching a new fragrance, Boss Pure. Because nothing's really quite as pure as a whiff of oversold department store cologne. [WWD, sub req'd]

Ms. Prada's black lace dresses are something else. Lace is the fabric of women's lives, from christening robes to bridal gowns to widow's weeds. (And let us harmonize: We are fashion nuns!)...Ms. Prada took a single idea and stayed with it, working the black and beige lace (or orange and blue lace) into coats and slim dresses and tops with stiff satin peplums, all over bodysuits or white cotton shirts... Structurally, proportionally, the clothes were very direct and simple — the ruffled edges of some of the 1940s dresses repeated in the suede and patent-leather pumps and nylon bags. The lace becomes the intellectual and emotional catalyst. You can't not ask if the dresses are indecent — many of them are, after all, transparent. But Ms. Prada has made sure that it's not the only question her collection raises against the female self.

Then came the first shot of arsenic and old lace: the lace worked in flowers, crunchy or transparent, with the kicker in the sexual charge coming literally from underneath in the case of transparent panels showing and revealing clinging underpants and alabaster white thighs...It was a remarkable show, powerful in its presentation as the models descended the ramp, but above all original, inspiring and intensely Prada in its mix of the prim and the perverse...As if in a Fellini movie, there was a clerical hint to the buttoned-up collars and a sense that Prada was unleashing on the fashion universe both a lace revival and erotic dreams.

Miuccia Prada offered a new form of austere sexuality, with lace as the new tool of seduction... butt there was a perverse side to her vision, too. The silhouette almost obliterated the breasts; indeed the entire upper body was shielded, from waist to a tiny, high-set governess like collar which finished just under the chin. Instead the clothes created erogenous zones on the hips - emphasized with a boned, "peplum" skirt, fastened with a buckle - and bare legs, which were glimpsed through the intricate floral patterns of heavy, Guipure lace.

...Prada sent out a brilliant lace-based collection that was feminine, strong and intriguingly austere, and that owed debts to haute couture as well as early Nineties Prada (call up those Geek Chic button-up shirts)... Prada leapt a world away to a place all about arch control done up in lace, a material she had long disliked until she happened upon a certain swatch and found herself obsessed. Of course, hers is not of the prissy ilk... In fact, everything about it amazed, starting with the long, lean silhouette punctuated by leather snoods for the hair and those shoes that featured offbeat ruffled extensions...Yet for all of the surface interest, a sense of confident calm prevailed, with an undercurrent of minimalism in spirit if not in fact. Lest one miss that point, the designer de-laced momentarily with a skirt and dress stark in their unfettered beigeness.

it was no surprise that last night's keenly awaited catwalk collection was — within the parameters of the quirky Prada aesthetic — a very commercial one. Semi-sheer guipure lace dresses and skirt suits in black or coffee were both elegant and rather avant-garde, which is precisely the kind of combination for which women are prepared to pay the prices Prada charge.

Miuccia Prada doesn't do uniforms (unless they're vaguely fascistic, and ironic) and she certainly doesn't do sexy, at least not in the conventional sense. It's odd though, because at her show last night — one of the most anticipated and the most thought-provoking — the models wore lots of sheer lace, in black, gold, blue, camel and brown, with little else, apart from buttoned-up mens' shirts and bib fronts; the shirt-tails providing a fig-leaf of modesty over their bottoms... But this was by far the best show of the season. It sounds nerdish to get worked up about a fabric, but Prada managed to spin a whole new aesthetic from her lace, which is more usually associated with brides, babies and hookers, mixing heavy woollen guipure lace with lighter, finer lace, and even silk dresses screen-printed to look like lace.

Tuesday night's collection was a knockout with models descending a curved runway like superwomen from the sky. Longer length, black pencil skirts sprouted ruffles like wings, with the odd men's shirt collar peeking out from the neckline of a dress, hinting at a woman's masculine side. Come fall, everyone will be wearing lace because this was a collection resplendent in the stuff. In black, brown, navy or gold, lace became three-dimensional, with lace flower appliqués fused on top of full skirts that reached below the knee. True to Prada's kinky side, some pieces were see-through, because a woman's sexuality is part of her power.

[A]s usual, there can be no mistaking this designer's work for anyone else's, season by season... I found the whole thing stimulating because it made me think that these ruffle and lace textiles, like people in general, have been stereotyped in certain roles, but can break free. Artists should make us think, and Ms. Prada is definitely an artist. But how to wear those unlined lace suits? On the runway, Ms. Prada had the models wear body suits, shorts and other clothes underneath. Very theatrical, but that would look weird on Main Street. So I asked her later if she would line them in the store. "Of course," Ms. Prada quickly replied, grinning. Then she played with the thought, and pondered whether she might leave a few unlined for more daring clients. She has a genuine demeanor, but I swear her smile was a little wicked.

Earlier: Miuccia Prada Puts End To Fashion Week Apartheid

Just Cavalli:

Missoni:

Burberry:

Jil Sander:

Gianfranco Ferre:

Giorgio Armani:

[All images via AP.]

As Milan winds down, some of our favorite fashion critics [Ou est tu, Robin Givhan?] waxed not-so-poetic on what they've seen over the past few days. Gucci was universally slammed. Marni, Ferragamo, Dsquared, and Missoni got words good, bad, and ugly all thrown at them. The poison pens are out, there, and we're looking forward to the start of Paris Fashion Week on Monday - who shall be Cathy Horyn's next victim? In the meantime, we mourn those slain by Horyn this week.

"[A]nother Gucci glam slam for after dark" "energetic attempt to turn rock chick into rock chic just didn't happen" "pert party dresses and 1960s graphics...just seem so passé" "for people who party harder than they work" "many of her instincts are good" "parade of cute, commercial outfits" —Suzy Menkes, International Herald Tribune

"[A] difficult thing to categorize" "boyish checked shirts, and the odd little cropped biker jacket, including a noticeably good one in black snakeskin" "unrelenting combination of black, white, and a particularly harsh sunflower yellow" "the show was bumpy" "an off moment" —Sarah Mower, Style.com


Marni:
"A dungeon might be more fun than some of Consuelo Castiglioni's sad sacks" "cruelly linear shapes" "take some expensive cotton, print it with a streaky esoteric pattern and then make a shift that's gathered in random places" "If this weren't such a cool label, you'd wonder how much design or thought was involved." "just seemed boring" —Cathy Horyn, The New York Times

"[T]he story of the season" "the colors were a modern art riff" "intriguing example of the Marni duality" "plasticized finishes have lost their shock value" "powerful collection" "interpretation of the new fashion volumes" —Suzy Menkes, International Herald Tribune

"[A] staple formula" "one of the brands upon which Italy's pride as a style leader rests" "Castiglioni took the don't-mess-with-success approach" "easy-on-the-body loose-waisted shifts" "wonky-but-right abstract gathers and tucks" "seen before" "cute petaled cone hats" "didn't seem overly concerned with breaking too much new ground" —Sarah Mower, Style.com


Missoni:
"[F]resh" "sensuous lightness" "terrific tunics and smock dresses" "[o]ccasionally it worked" "hard to see what connected a baby-doll dress of beige silk knit and stone-embroidered chiffon with a mustard tunic of lace-cut cotton" —Cathy Horyn, The New York Times

"[A] friendly-scale line of highly identifiable knits and prints" "a bit of this and a bit of that" "has a place in a sunny holiday setting" "any piece would make a girl stand out at a relaxed party" "Missoni would do better to devise a more intimate way of showing them" —Sarah Mower, Style.com




D-Squared:
"[G]leaning the top notes of a supermarket tabloid and spitting them back to us" "a knucklehead version of Dolce & Gabbana" "popular fashion fantasy of an auto-repair garage" "you might wear at Cannes if your film career was tanking" "Rihanna looked fabulous and the gross guys in the front row grinned their heads off" —Cathy Horyn, The New York Times

"Rihanna...took to the runway for a very believable turn as a top model" "a lot of skin for a 9 a.m. show" "pretty standard stuff" "theme, loosely, was party girls and the grease monkeys who love them" "wasn't all trash and vaudeville" "cheap yet satisfying thrills" —Nicole Phelps, Style.com


Ferragamo:
"[O]n the wild side" "just a whiff of Africa" "sophisticated clothes" "accessories are king" —Suzy Menkes, International Herald Tribune

"[S]eized on the seventies" "hopscotching back through the decades...probably wasn't the best tack" "not without its better moments" "[t]he clothes could stand to be more distinctive" —Nicole Phelps, Style.com

• Milan is celebrating Fashion Week by plastering this Oliviero Toscani-shot poster everywhere. Pretty! [The Independent]
  
• Oh god, Miuccia, are you fucking kidding me? [Fashion Week Daily]
  
• Marc Jacobs is the new Star Simpson. [News.com.au]
  
• One of Mary Kate and Ashley's five clothing lines is ready for purchase on the Bergdorf website and this dress was the only thing that didn't seem like, you know, something you could get marked down from the Simply Vera Wang for Kohl's collection.

• It's a lot of pressure being the president of Coach because you have to constantly think up new colors in which to plaster your knockoff Chanel logo on everything you manufacture but, on the upside, if you ever find yourself in a bind and needing thirty million dollars or so you can just sell off some of your shares and it's no big deal. [Barron's]
• Following a multi-million dollar campaign to remind everyone that "Macy's" is a department store, Macy's is going really hardcore to remind everyone that "Calvin Klein" is a brand sold at Macy's, and I am betting this totally gets everyone to start shopping at department stores again. [Barron's]

• Todd Oldham has been named creative director at Old Navy. Says ON prez Dawn Robertson:"Todd was an interesting choice because he is so relevant. He is really modern." Which is interesting, you see, because the Gap usually goes the extra mile to be irrelevant. [WWD, sub req'd]
  
• Cell phones are the new handbags, so if your Prada phone, your Dolce & Gabbana phone, and your iPhone aren't cutting it for you, never fear! Armani is getting into the mix too. [WWD, sub req'd]
  
• Chanel president Veronique Morali has resigned, having only held her position at the French fashion house since March. Meaning the turnover rates for heading up Chanel are about on par with the turnover rates for fashion magazine assistants. Only with, like, three zeroes added to the salary. [WWD, sub req'd]
  
• Former Dior Homme designer Hedi Slimane told France's Le Monde newspaper he agreed with us about how fashion weeks are completely absurd and retarded because we have the internet now, duh. "[Seasonal fashion shows] don't relate to anything anymore." [WWD, 2nd item]

• Vera Wang: Set to play herself (but bitchier) on Ugly Betty! [WWD, 4th item]
• Ellen Tracy founder Herb Gallen has died at age 92 of natural causes. [WWD, sub req'd]
• Burberry: Now offering its already-expensive shit at even more ridiculous prices, courtesy of a new luxury handbag capsule collection. Oh and if you feel like coughing up the dough for one of these, take heed: Buying one is invitation only. Barf. [Vogue UK]
• On the fate of his company (will he sell it or won't he?), designer Roberto Cavalli says, "I'm not a great businessman unfortunately." But at least he knows his way with a snake print and neon-hued ruffle? [Vogue UK]
• Cathy Horyn may have finally stopped talking about Marc Jacobs, but Simon Doonan has just begun: "I'm sure I would've loved Marc Jacobs but I had to go home. By 10:40, I was out the door. Not in a huff. I didn't leave in a huff. I just thought, I need to go home now and walk the dog and take my girdle off." [The Fashion Informer]
• If by chance you find yourself in Milan with the hope of stalking your favorite (and by favorite we mean least favorite) fashion types, here's a good list of places to start. [GlamChic]
• Further evidence that high fashion in fact steals from its knockoffs: Burberry has taken to manufacturing, and incorporating into its ad campaigns Burberry plaid buttons that originally emerged as a clever means off renegade logo-theft. [EV Said via Coutorture]

• The latest supposedly offensive Dolce & Gabbana ad is supposedly offensive because the women are made out to be dominatrixes and the men are objectified. Really, our hearts bleed for them. [WWD, 1st item]
  
• Annoying-on-her-own, awesome-when-accompanied-by-other-television-wives Chloe Sevigny is doing ("designing"? "inspiring"? We so don't care anymore) a clothing line in partnership with NYC boutique Opening Ceremony just in time for New York Fashion Week. [Vogue UK]
  
• Sorry "directional" - you've been replaced as our favorite fashion term (to mock) by "relevant." Example, "I do have a number of cool longer dresses in my spring collection and I think they're really relevant again," Sue Stemp. [The Fashion Informer]

• "Italian designers are not aware of their strength. They don't have the courage to stand up for their right to have a longer fashion week, conversely to their French neighbors." That's Mario Boselli, head of the Italian Chamber of Fashion, and that, folks, is what we mean when we talk about "First World Problems."[WWD, sub req'd]
• South Korean teen clothing chain Who.A.U. is coming stateside. The name stands for "Who are you?" and they apparently push a message of personal expression. There is a cappuccino bar in every store. Oh, and the chain is making its big debut in Stamford, CT. Indeed, all these things make us think of teenage individuality. [WWD, sub req'd]
• Levi's sues two more companies for copyright infringement. [WWD, sub req'd]
• Isn't it heartwarming when fashion tries to do something for the environment? Now it's Rag & Bone, making a 100% organic t-shirt sold exclusively at Parisian boutique Colette with the words "Carbon Free" emblazoned across it. We here they're being shipped to the stores via carrier pigeon. [Fashion Week Daily]
• Merrill Lynch predicts Burberry will be snatched up by some other luxury goods behemoth — and soon! Coach, apparently, looks the hungriest. [NY Times]

Until Milan Fashion Week vomited up this:

Don't mind the color. Don't even mind wearing a plastic bib, as long as it's got Chanel stamped on it. Do however, fucking mind the eyebrows.

This goes straight into the 'Turbans? You've got to be kindding!' bin.