This Week in Tabloids: Channing Tatum Put on Some Baby Weight
Welcome back to Midweek Madness, your foray into the dangerous wilderness of the celebrity tabloids. Every week, Callie Beusman heads to the newsstand for the new issues of In Touch, Ok!, Life & Style, Star and Us, and together we forage for "news." This week: Justin Theroux is pulling old bedpans out of the trash to…
Morrissey Slams Obama and U.S. Thanksgiving; Calls It "Thankskilling"
Did you enjoy your Thanksgiving dinner yesterday? Well, one celeb is not happy about it. Singer Morrissey took to his blog True To Self yesterday to decry the American tradition, in a blog post titled "Thankskilling." The former lead singer of The Smiths took particular aim at President Barack Obama, and the annual…
Chris Pratt Says He's a 'Very Much Naked Person,' Used to Be a Stripper
OhgodIloveChrisPrattsomuch. Chris Praaaaaaaaaaatt!! Chris Praaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat. Today in IloveChrisPratt, Chris Pratt reveals that he's always "a very much naked person," and kind of maybe worked as a stripper when he was 18. He wasn't very good at the dancing part, but he had the naked part DOWN.
Emmys Tribute to Cory Monteith Angers Jack Klugman's Family
Many viewers were outraged that the passing of TV legend Jack Klugman — who played Oscar Madison on The Odd Couple — got very little airtime in the Emmy tribute that included a long memoriam to Cory Monteith. Klugman's son Adam told the AP: "It’s an insult and it really seems typical of this youth-centric culture…
Miley Cyrus Fans Want To Rip Lorde's Brains Out For Winning at iTunes
Rabid Miley Cyrus fans are lashing out at 16-year-old chanteuse Lorde, who is so uppity that she did not commit hara-kiri immediately after her "Royals" topped Miley as #1 on the iTunes chart. They're slamming her with Dorothy Parker-esque gems like "Your eyes are too far apart" and "kill yourself you crusty old…
Paula Deen's Dream Dinner Party Waiters: Black Slaves in White Jackets
Paula Deen was questioned for three hours regarding the $1.2 million lawsuit filed by the general manager of their Savannah restaurant last year, which alleged that Paula and her brother Bubba made black and white employees use separate bathrooms, threw the N-word around, repeatedly told racist and sexist jokes, and …
Watch Miley Cyrus Hijack a Hip Hop Show and Pop Her Ass Onstage
Enthusiastic booty dancer and zero-fucks-giver Miley Cyrus just Was Miley and twerked at Juicy J's House of Blues show Saturday night after Amber Rose (in an awesome old-school Cher-esque wig) and Wiz Khalifa "pushed" her onstage.
Kate Middleton's Taking Cooking Lessons From Her Own Mrs. Patmore
Over at Twerblyderp Palace, Kate Middleton is taking lessons in Italian cooking from her and Prince William's new housekeeper Antonella Fresolone, known for her "homemade bread" and "delicious pasta." Never forget that Kate's a Topshop-wearing commoner like the rest of us! But this is pretty legit, actually,…
Whoa: Angelina Jolie Is Also Having Her Ovaries Removed
In addition to the double mastectomy that Angelina Jolie underwent in February, we learned in her New York Times op-ed, she also plans on having an oophorectomy — ovary removal surgery, a procedure recommended for high-risk women before the age of 40. Without this, her BRCA1 gene still places her risk of ovarian…
Watch Miley Cyrus's Mesmerizing Unicorn Twerk Video
Miley Cyrus, twerking, in a unicorn onesie. Because this is America.
Sarah Jessica Parker's Feet Are Busted From Years of Sex and The City Heels
The dark sides of being Carrie Bradshaw, one can easily imagine, are as long as a grocery list: contributing to the materialistic culture of Manhattan! Perpetuating unrealistic standards of romance! Not being able to go to a bar in New York (Midtown or Murray Hill especially) without women bum-rushing you! Et cetera.
Mila Kunis Joins the Ranks of Our Imaginary Besties After Giving This Awesome Interview
Mila Kunis has always come off as pretty cool and low key — she wears sweatpants in public, always seems up for a laugh and no one has ever complained about working with her — and yet, for some reason, I'm always surprised with just how likable she is when she's talking out of character. Case in point, Kunis was…
Taylor Swift: 'There's a Special Place in Hell for Women Who Don't Help Other Women'
"As she sits drinking lavender lemonade,*" Taylor Swift tells Vanity Fair that everyone—including, and especially, other ladies in Hollywood—needs to shut the fuck up about how many penises are/may be in orbit around her:
and will be married in Hawaii in a few weeks, but she does not want to do it in his old fuck den:Rihanna Wants a Kid, Possibly With Chris Brown
Rihanna covers Elle UK this month and talks about Chris Brown, Instagram and her future. Discussing Ri-Ri on this website is something of a lose-lose situation: Salem-style piling on her for her choices doesn't help anybody—especially not other women in similar situations—and I'll leave the alternative to the staff…

