• We should have seen this coming: Lindsay Lohan and John Mayer were spotted sharing a table and dancing together at a New York club last night. "She was way into it," says an eyewitness, "She would follow his every move..."

• "He would dance with the waitresses and then come back," continues the source. Linds Tweeted about the evening: "@johncmayer shhhhhhhhhhhhhh butter-face :)" Where will he find the time to romance Linds if he's still hooking up with Jessica Simpson and fathering Jennifer Aniston's baby? (According to the tabloids.) [E!]
• The suicidal Tweets issued by "themichaellohan" weren't actually written by Michael Lohan — he doesn't even have a Twitter account. [Ok]
• Jessica Simpson said Dallas Cowboys wide receiver Miles Austin is hot, so TMZ says Cowboys fans should start worrying that the "Yoko Romo curse" is back on. [TMZ]
• Jennifer Aniston is launching a DVD for her yoga instructor, Mandy Ingber. "Jen works out with Mandy up to five times a week, and they have become such great friends she even takes Mandy on vacation with her. So Jen was delighted to help launch her DVD," says a source. [N.Y. Post]
• Rachel Uchitel, Tiger Woods' alleged mistress, says the story is bogus. "This is ridiculous. Not a word of it is true... I told the Enquirer and Star [the tabloids that broke the story] that it wasn't true. I told them not only did I have information to disprove the story, but I offered to take a lie-detector test." [People]
• However, two more women have come forward claiming they had affairs with Tiger Woods while he was married to Elin Nordegren — and they may have the voicemails to prove it. Jaimee Grubbs of Tool Academy fame told her story to Us and the other woman is still shopping her story. Grubbs claims she had a 31-month affair with Tiger that started in 2007 when she was 21. She told Us she has photos, racy texts, and a voicemail from November 24 in which he says his wife may be on to them. [Radar Online, Us]
• Tiger Woods' lip was split open after his car crash on Friday morning, but police sources say there was no blood in his SUV. [TMZ]
• The Florida Highway Patrol announced today that they're giving Tiger Woods a $164 ticket for reckless driving. There investigation is over and they will not seek any search warrants for his medical records. [TMZ]
• The Adams family, Tiger Woods' neighbors, have hired lawyers to talk to the media. They say Elin Nordegren asked the Adams' for help, which is why they called 911. They gave him a pillow and a blanket and waited for the ambulance. They say there were no signs that they were fighting that night and Elin was concerned for Tiger's safety. [TMZ]
• A judge approved a request from Jennifer Lopez's lawyer for an Emergency Court Order to keep the racy video she made with Ojani Noa from being released to the public. J.Lo didn't attend the hearing. [Radar Online]
• Jennifer Lopez's attorney says there is no "sex tape." "There wasn't anything close to sex in it," he said. "We never alleged that. But it's still private and personal to my client." After the decision Ojani Noa complained, "They're trying to stop me from making my documentary and I'm fighting for my rights... They're not being fair." [People]
• A home video of Marilyn Monroe smoking marijuana at a party in the late '50s has surfaced. The person who shot the film recently sold it to a collector for $275,000. [Reuters]
• Rihanna said her life is far from normal. "It's definitely more intense," she said. "Every day is another curveball, but now I know how to handle it. Every time you get put in a situation, it somehow makes you stronger." [E!]
• Rihanna admitted the leaked naked pictures of her are real. "They were for my boyfriend at the time," she said, "if you don't send your boyfriend naked pictures, then I feel bad for him." She added, "It was the worst thing that could possibly ever happen to me. I just felt like my whole privacy was taken before that [with the other photo leak] and then, when that came out, I thought, 'Oh great, so now there's nothing they don't know about me and my private life. It was humiliating and it was embarrassing – especially my mom having to see that." [People]
• The court date for TLC's case against Jon Gosselin has been moved from December 14 to December 10. [Radar Online]
• Those in charge of Michael Jackson's estate rejected 24-year-old Prince Michael Malachi Jet Jackson's claim that he's the late singer's lovechild, so he filed an objection asking a judge to "have determined that he is the biological son of decedent Michael Joseph Jackson ... and gain whatever benefits he is entitled to." [TMZ]
• Tori Spelling and Candy Spelling's feud may be over. They started talking in September when they were both in the hospital and Candy finally met her granddaughter Stella. [E!]
• Verne Troyer says his ex-girlfriend Yvette Monet, who just obtained a restraining order against him, just wants money from him and "at no time did I ever threaten Ms. Monet or even hint to her that I would harm her in any way." [TMZ]
• Lisa Loeb gave birth to her first child, Lyla Rose Loeb Hershkovitz, on Sunday morning. [People]
• Possible Lost spoiler: Emilie de Ravin was spotted shooting a scene for the final season with Evangeline Lilly. [E!]
• John Mellencamp's 14-year-old son Speck is asking people to start a Facebook group he created to get his dad to stop smoking. Mellencamp says he'll quit if he gets 1 million people to join. [AP]
  QUOTES
• It seems Ryan Reynolds didn't finish watching yesterday's episode of Regis and Kelly even though his wife Scarlett Johansson was performing at the end of the show. When asked if he saw it he said, "Wait. Was that the show with Matt Dillon?" [Showbiz 411]
• Kate Garraway, the host of Britain's GMTV, said after Mariah Carey appeared on the show, "I've heard a lot of rumours about her being a diva over the years and guess what? It's all true! While Mariah was very nice, the amount of people she had in her entourage was hilarious. They outnumbered the entire GMTV crew!" Now her bosses have forced her to apologize to Mariah. [The Mirror]
• Bill Clinton called his future son-in-law Marc Mezvinsky "a great human being," and, a source says, "Bill adores him. This is the son he didn't have... This is the relationship Bill didn't have with his father." [People]
• When asked who should play President Obama in a movie, Morgan Freeman said, "Denzel. Denzel could pull it off quite nicely. You would totally believe him." [U.S. News]
• Steffi Graf said of the first roses Andre Agassi ever sent her, "I wondered where they came from. Each rose was stunning. You felt every petal had reached the perfect moment of its bloom." [Vogue]
• "One of the reasons I think I've gained weight pretty quickly during my pregnancy is that I'm not exercising as much as I do normally ... I can't. I'm feeling tired, and I have this business to run," says Padma Lakshmi. "You hope that with age, what you pay for in gravity, you gain in gravitas. I'm sure my thighs looked better when I was 25, but I think my mind is better today." [People]
• In addition to acting on Mad Men, Bryan Batt owns a home decor and gift shop in New Orleans with his partner Tom Cianfichi. "It's something we always wanted to do," said Batt. "I've always loved gifts and shopping and design." [AP]
• Daniel Radcliffe says after the Harry Potter films are over, his next project will be starting a family. "No man, I've got kids to have yet!" he said. "They're going to keep me busy if I do – which I hope I do at some point. I'm not planning on it soon – that's one of the things I'm really looking forward to doing." [People]
• Mila Kunis says Darren Aronofsky offered her a part in Black Swan over iChat. Here's how their conversation went, according to Kunis: "Hey." "Hey. Do you want to do this?" "Video chat? "No, the movie." "If you just offered me the movie, I think you need to get on video chat and offer it to me." [BlackBook Magazine]

Natalie Portman can do "perfection" better than almost anyone. And is that the night sky?


Julia Koch got the memo about "lady in red" patron-of-the-arts chic.


So did Fe Fendi!
And Paula Zahn!


Assuming she wasn't really famous, could you guess what Aurelie Dupont does for a living? It starts with "baller" and ends with "ina."


Candace Bushnell is here, obviously, because she's married to a dancer. I can't think of an equally logical explanation for her necklace. She's been ordained into the Eastern Orthodox priesthood?


The question: is Mila Kunis sporting her own dinner jacket, or was someone being chivalrous?


There are very few things apropos for both Studio 54 and the NYCB. Carol Mack's dress is one. "Baryshnikov" is another.


Let's add "Catherine Malandrino" to that list!"


Sarah Sophie Flicker: fun or folly? It makes me smile.


Michelle Herbert is, I think, going for Goddess of Love. Well, that or Ivana Trump.


Alexandra Lebenthal is doing the near-impossible: wearing yellow and not getting washed out.


And...Pamela Joyner's skirt will come in handy when the can-can starts later. (No, not joking. The dancing got wild.)


On the one hand, kind of loving Erin Fetherston's late-Poiret silhouette. On the other, the print's a tad Mrs. Roper -in-a-dogwood-tree. In other words, LOVE it.


Elise Overland and Diana Picasso: "So, flowing robes tonight?"


And just to give you a sense of the 'do: that's Darci Kistler and Peter Martins cutting a rug!

[Images via Getty]

• Chris Brown sat down with MTV's Sway to discuss his assault on Rihanna, noting that he's still unsure as to how the public perceives him and that he believes that "abuse of any kind is always wrong." [MTV]

• "I'm confused right now as far as the public perception [of me]," Brown tells MTV. "Like, I think with my fans, they still love me, they support me, definitely. You have those people who will support you. So it's kinda like 50/50 for me. I got the people that will come out and support and then the people that don't wanna see me do anything. They basically want me in jail." As for people calling him a "woman beater," Brown says, "I'm human, so when I hear certain things that they say or if I go somewhere and I hear somebody be rude about it, it's just like, 'Man, it's a mistake.' I made a big mistake. I'm learning from it. Like, I'm not saying, 'Who are they to judge?' because, I mean, everybody's entitled to their own opinion on how they feel, but it hurts." [MTV]
• Brown believes that "the details" on what happened between himself and Rihanna should remain "a private matter." [People]
• Taylor Swift says she's ready to host and perform on tonight's Saturday Night Live: "I told all the writers, ‘Don't count anything out. I want to completely go 100 percent in this'. I really, really don't want to be only halfway involved … just because I have a lot of things to do as far as being musical guest and host." [ShowbizSpy]
• Susan Boyle will stop by Dancing With The Stars next week to promote her upcoming album, which is set for release on November 24. "She's excited and happy," her brother, John Boyle, says "She loves America and loves the people. She appreciates their honesty." [People]
• Meanwhile, Boyle says she wasn't aware of what she looked like until she saw herself on television. "I saw this wee wifey with the mad hairdo and the bushy eyebrows and said, 'Hmmm, not really telegenic.' So, I decided to spruce myself up a bit. When I look in the mirror now, I see this sophisticated lady. I'm still a bit like that wee wifey inside, but more refined in some ways. I think any woman would have done the same. Would you want to look like the Hairy Angel? I don't think so." [DailyMail]
• "There are some things that have been really hurtful to me but you have to catch yourself. It's just an image that they're making fun of but it's just difficult to explain that to your children. They've had to defend me and their dad plenty of times. Tommy is an amazing musician, very talented, it doesn't make him a bad father and just because I'm covered in glitter it doesn't mean I'm a bad mum!"-Pamela Anderson [Mirror]
• This could be awesome: Ian McKellen is set to play his fictional brother, "Murray McKellen," in The Academy, an Office-style mockumentary "about a run-down drama school in London." [DailyExpress]
• Kristen Stewart officially graduated from high school on the set of Eclipse just as she was filming graduation scenes for her character, Bella Swan, and so she decided to combine the two: "The other day I was doing a graduation scene on Eclipse and I had just finished high school myself the week before, so I told the crew, 'Hey, just so you know, I'm actually graduating right now, and I'm not going to have another ceremony.' So I took a mock picture with an extra. I literally asked the actor to come back and shake my hand and hand me the diploma while I was dressed in a cap and gown." [DailyExpress]
• Tippi Hedren, who took in Michael Jackson's tigers, Thriller and Sabu, after he passed away, says the animals are doing just fine: "They're just great, and they were beautiful when they came to us. It took awhile to adjust, because anytime anybody moves, it's a period of adjustment. But they're wonderful and very beautiful." [NYDN]
• Robert Zemeckis says he'd like to have the two living Beatles take part in his upcoming remake of Yellow Submarine, but "we haven't gotten the word yet on the two surviving Beatles, whether they're interested in doing it or not." [DailyExpress]
• Joe Jackson is seeking a monthly stipend from his late son Michael's estate in order to help him cover roughly $15,000 a month in expenses. [Yahoo]
• Robert Pattinson says he's not really the romantic type, and that he's never serenaded anyone as "you need to have so much balls to do that, Jesus Christ. I put a flower on someone's locker when I was 15." [E!]
• Jennifer Lopez is planning to sue her ex-husband, Ojani Noa, over his plans to release "How I Married Jennifer Lopez: The JLo and Ojani Noa Story," a film based on the couple's relationship that allegedly includes several hours of home video footage, including scenes from the couple's honeymoon hotel room. [TMZ]
• "One of my favorite things is experiencing the spontaneous moment that only happens once. No matter how many times you perform, you never have the same moment twice. And I love that. I love the magic of that one moment in that one place shared only by myself and all the people who attended that night. It's our special connection. There's nothing like the energy, communication and unity that happens through music. Even if you don't speak the same language, you understand music."- Alicia Keys [Reuters]
• Sienna Miller has reportedly reunited with boyfriend DJ Slinky Wizard: "They seemed very much a couple," says a source, "George was talking about how he was excited about their plans for the night." [JustJared]
• Debra Winans is praising Oprah Winfrey after Oprah decided to ban Bebe Winans, Debra's ex-boyfriend, from the show "until his domestic violence case plays out." Debra gave TMZ the following statement: "It further demonstrates the fact that Oprah continues to be a strong voice against domestic violence and that she's willing to take the steps necessary to defend the defenseless." [TMZ]
• And speaking of Oprah, Stephenie Meyer will be stopping by her show on November 13. [StephenieMeyer]
• Natalie Portman and Mila Kunis are set to have a sex scene together in Darren Aronofsky's upcoming film, Black Swan, but Portman says the scene is "not raunchy - it's extreme." Portman also notes that as she gets older, she's more willing to take certain risks on film: "Previously I was figuring out my own sexual identity, likes and dislikes and all that stuff, and it's weird to be doing stuff on film as you're figuring it out. Also, being a sexual object when you're a kid is really uncomfortable. After The Professional, I was already getting creepy letters." [ONTD]
• For no real reason, here is a ridiculous picture of Jon Gosselin doing yoga. [USMagazine]
• Tim McGraw claims that his wife, Faith Hill is the reason he's still alive, and that without her, "I'd be dead. Oh yeah, I would have partied too hard. I might have caught myself somewhere along the way and put the brakes on. I don't know if I would have gone [to rehab]; I don't think I could have been talked into that during those times." [People]
• Police now claim that 19-year-old Rachel Lee was the ringleader of the so-called "Beverly Hills Burglar Bunch," and that her main motivation was, according to her 18-year-old accomplice, Nick Prugo, to "own the designer wardrobes of the Hollywood celebrities she admired." [NYTimes]
• Reeve Carney has been cast in the role of Peter Parker in Broadway's upcoming Spider-Man musical, Spider-Man: Turn Off The Dark. The show, produced by Bono and directed by Julie Taymor is set to open in 2010. [NYDN]
• Eminem will be back on screen in a new 3-D film called Shady Talez, which, according to Entertainment Weekly, "is described as The Twilight Zone meets Creepshow." [EW]
• "I've met endless so-called beautiful people who don't seem to have personalities or a direction in life. They've never been forced to develop their characters because they're viewed as being so attractive. So I think beauty can be a mask."- Megan Fox [ShowbizSpy]

Man, does anyone do pure glam like Iman? (That's not rhetorical. The answer is no.)


Although Susan Fales-Hill is not half-stepping either, as a lame, sleazy dude said to me once after complimenting my friend.


What is it that renders Emmy's bodice detailing somewhat...mature?


Oh, and you have to see the side-view, when she goes totally ethereal Aphrodite. Somewhat ridiculous, but when you've done that "Music of the Night" Victoria's Secret scene at such a tender age, your threshold is probably permanently altered. (And what does Duritz make of it, btw?)


I am on record in my affection for the public persona of JoAnna Garcia (since, you know, I don't actually know her.) And while I'm still getting used to platform-and-gown-not-in-a-drag-show, she's working it.


I once saw this quote where Rufus Wainwright said "I have a body that looks really good in clothes," which, while it was one of the most ludicrous things I'd seen prior to seeing Jorn Weisbrodt's cravat, is also indubitably true.


Presented without comment.


Y'know, Natalie and Mila would look impeccably cute all alone - the coordinating perfection just takes it over the top. And did they plan this? Because there are literally no photographs where they're not huddling together like this.


Aww, I hate it when "guests" are not identified, especially when they sport such riveting jewelry!


Remember that IMAX film Blue Planet? Yeah, so does Veronica Webb. Ah, those halcyon, post-March-of-the-Penguins years when we thought people would line up forever to watch nature films...


See, what is the fur adding to this beyond a recoil factor? Not warmth, surely - her arms are still bare! I don't understand, unnamed guest!


Yeah, you know what I think of when I hear "American Ballet Theatre Gala?" Adam Duritz. Rage on. Guy's only doing it for some doll, some doll.

[Images via Getty]

Rose Byrne's "Glinda" special is straight-up beautiful.


Also in the fairy princess camp: a radiant Drew Barrymore.


I don't remember the last time Jennifer Love Hewitt looked so simply pretty on the red carpet.


Lovely to see Christina Hendricks showcasing her bombshell figure in something simple.


Kate Walsh departs from her usual sleek lines with a gorgeous, subtle Grecian number.


Seriously digging Alex Borstein's fun deco ensemble.


Leighton Meester's is definitely one of the top 3 looks of the evening.
[Images via Getty]


Maybe not my favorite look of the evening, but Kim Kardashian is still glam, and gorgeous.


It's always nice to see someone do sleeves on the red carpet - especially when the results are as elegant as Elizabeth Perkins'.


Lindsay Price took a gamble on a basically safe red carpet; I think it paid off.


The tricky gowns are the ones that aren't hideous or gorgeous, but kind of on the fence. I'd put this Jessica McClintock-y number in a "Meh" category if there was one - but the fit and Vanessa's elan take it into positive territory.


Loving Holly Hunter's juxtaposition of geometric and soft.


Speaking of geometric: I'm guessing January Jones' bold gown will be somewhat polarizing; I love it.


Jennifer Carpenter's old-Hollywood exercise in intricacy is one of the few cases when you don't wince to think of so much handwork going into something disappointing.


Alicia Witt's feathered friend is slightly surreal - but not over-the-top.


If anyone can do straight-up 80's power red, it's Sigourney Weaver.


Chloe Sevigny's dress may well be my favorite of the entire evening. Also, decade.


Jane Krakowski's was one of the best of the many disco-inflected numbers.


As was Kaley Cooco's human Oscar.


Cherry Jones has the height for these statuesque lines.


Kourtney Kardashian looks more elegant and naturally beautiful in maternity than I've ever seen her.


Heidi Klum, of course, wrote the book.


Kat Deeley's natural (which, yes, obvioulsy took 4 hours) hair and makeup are a stunning counterpoint to her goddessy gown.


Sure she's been more glam, but I dig how low-key Sally Field kept it.


While I've yet to see a red-carpet look that adequately conveys Mindy Kaling's awesome, I'd say this playful, pretty frock is a definite "good." Even if it looks painful.


If you have to do "Reagan-era," Debra Messing shows how.


Elisabeth Moss' regal situation is almost too busy - I think it's the rich, subtle color that keeps it in bounds.


Sandra Oh overcomes this unfortunate belt by the skin of her sequins.


As you can see, the metallics were totally out of control - but Mariska's not Jayne Mansfield's daughter for nothin'.


Tina Fey nails it. That is all.


I like Mila Kunis' slightly unexpected wine tasting: you?


And why was Mary-Louise Parker the only one with the cajones for a mini?


Jennifer Westfeldt flirts with dowdiness - it's her radiant smile that saves her.


Amy Poehler: adorable.


Ginnifer Goodwin's gown: youthful, gorgeous, apparently magic.


Julia Louis-Dreyfus knows what works for her and doesn't deviate.

It's not "amazing" to feel the stare of eyes on your bustline. It's often creepy. But then again, I have to live with it all the time and not just one day, on the set of a film, doing it for cash, in the company of Jason Bateman and Kristen Wiig. So maybe I would "kinda like" it then?

• Well here's one we haven't heard before: A source claims that Macaulay Culkin is Blanket Jackson's father. [The Sun]
• Also: Prince Michael Malachi Jet Jackson, 24, claims Michael Jackson is his dad. [TMZ]

• Uh-oh: Heidi Montag wants a baby. Heidi's sister-in-law, Stephanie Pratt, says: "Heidi is the one with the baby fever; Spencer is not. Basically, Heidi got married; [then] she's like, 'Oh my God, what do I do?' I really feel like she went to a bookstore and saw Newlyweds: The Wife's Edition, and so now she's like, 'I still want to get a house with a white picket fence... and then probably a dog, and then we'll move on to kids. And I want to take cooking lessons.'" So surely it's just a matter of time. What shall we do to prepare ourselves for the spawn of Speidi?!?!? [NY Daily News]
• Spencer was seen passing out Playboys with Heidi on the cover to the entire first-class section of a flight from the Bahamas to LAX. No word on whether he said: Take my wife, please. [Page Six]
• Law enforcement sources are saying DJ AM's death was not a suicide. The recovering addict developed a dependency to to Xanax and other benzodiazepines (anti-anxiety drugs) as a direct result of the plane crash he survived. He had developed a high anxiety over flying, but it was something he had to do for work. This relapse was recent, and his death was most likely a consequence of the combination of cocaine and benzodiazepines. [TMZ]
• Dr. Drew blames pain medication for DJ AM's relapse: "It very slowly and subtly reawakens addiction. I'm not saying it was inappropriately prescribed, I'm saying he didn't know the risks." [NY Post]
• Madonna is in Israel, where she visited the Old City in Jerusalem, and toured an ancient tunnel near the Western Wall - the holiest site where Jews can pray. [AP]
• I don't know whether to laugh or to cry: Medics have had to treat Twihards who visit the set of New Moon and freak out over the Sparkle Vamp or the Buff Werewolf. Taylor Lautner says: We've met many different fans: the criers, who come around quite often; the hyperventilators, who stop breathing and have to have a medic come. We've definitely seen some passion." [Daily Express]
• While Jon Gosselin was busy posing it up in Vegas, Kate Gosselin had her own pool party — with bodyguard and rumored beau, Steve Neild. And his family. He arrived with his wife, kids, and teenaged sons and all the kids went swimming and everything was fun and everything is fine. [E!]
• By the way: Jon Gosselin was heckled at his own damn pool party. Guys mocked his bald spot, his weight and his clothes. [Radar Online]
• Jon Gosselin did a sit-down interview with GMA's Chris Cuomo and said something like he's worried the show is "exploiting" his eight children. No, wait, he says: "I'm not saying TLC is exploiting my children. But I do believe the media and tabloids covering my family and the show for their own financial gain are the ones exploiting them. I have said on numerous occasions TLC has afforded my kids a better life and has helped provide a better roof on their heads." [E!]
• Whitney Houston hasn't released an album in six years, but her "comeback" is very controlled. Her interview with Diane Sawyer will not be live; neither will her interview with Oprah. And when she does a Good Morning America performance, it will be taped, not live. [MSNBC Scoop]
• Lily Allen needs an Orgasmaton, STAT. [The Sun]
• Here's an iffy story about the Beckham marriage being torn apart because "While David is keen to play football in Europe, ambitious Victoria is set on remaining in LA." [Daily Mail]
• In these pictures from February, Chris Brown is seen tagging a wall — spray painting his nickname, Breezy. Now graffiti removal will be one of the things he is expected to do as part of his 1400 hours of community service. [Daily Mail]
• Elisabeth Moss spills spoilery Mad Men secrets! "It is so important to [creator] Matt [Weiner], and to the way the story is told, that things remain secret if possible. But I can say that [this season] Peggy starts becoming more of Don's protege and moves up in that world. She goes down paths that are wrong for her, but she is just trying to figure out what it means to be in her position in that man's world. I don't honestly know if she is going to figure it out. Does she have to be like Don, or can she be her own person?" [Reuters]
• Ouch: Miranda Kerr was walking the red carpet at the launch of Victoria's Secret's Heavenly Enchanted fragrance when Melissa (Dancing With the Stars) Rycroft accidentally sprayed her in the eyes and momentarily blinded her. [Page Six]
• "Cate Blanchett and Liv Ullmann have long wanted to collaborate. Now Tennessee Williams has brought them together on the Sydney stage." [Sydney Morning Herald]
• When Chris Noth DJs, you're gonna hear '80s hits from KISS and Prince. [Page Six]
• Highly recommended: outtakes from an interview with Amber Tamblyn, in which she says lots of awesome stuff, like, "I have a poem in my new book of poetry out in September called Bang Ditto about Twitter and the poem is 140 characters about how Twitter can suck it." She also says: "People always ask me why I'm so level-headed and normal and don't lash out like all these other young celebrities and go crazy. Well, I went crazy. I just didn't get caught." [Parade]
• Speaking of Amber Tamblyn, her boyfriend David Cross says he's got no news on The Arrested Development movie. But he's looking forward to it: "Just finding out what the characters are up to. Obviously I miss the camaraderie and having fun, but more than anything, my curiosity is like, 'Oh, what are those guys are doing?'" [Time]
• Will Arnett might be the one holding up the Arrested Development movie. [Gatecrasher]
• Real Housewife Bethenny Frankel is talking crap about Jill Zarin: "Why would Jill be hanging with Jon Gosselin and Michael Lohan? That was like an episode of 'The Surreal Life.' It is utterly embarrassing. I mean, honestly, Urkel should have come - and if Gary Coleman showed up, it would have been perfect." [Gatecrasher]
• Joan Rivers claims she almost rented her apartment to Libyan leader Moammar Khadafy: "The Libyan ambassador called my [broker] and offered over $200,000 a week so he could use it for entertaining… I thought it was great. I said I would give half the rent to Lockerbie." [Page Six]
• Jane Lynch — the funny lady from The 40 Year Old Virgin, Best in Show and Weeds, is described as a scene-stealer in the TV show Glee. "I think 'scene stealer' is a compliment, or at least I take it as one," she says. "I certainly don't try to take attention from anyone else, I just do the best job I can with the material." [Newsweek]
• "Oasis split because Noel Gallagher forgave brother Liam for jokingly suggesting he was not the real dad of daughter Anais." [News Of The World]
• Liam Gallagher has gone to Lake Como now that Oasis has broken up. [Mirror]
• Are the Pussycat Dolls dunzo? The group is taking a "long break" and the members are each concentrating on their "own projects." [Mirror]
• Word is that Shelley Duvall (The Shining, Popeye, Casper Meets Wendy) spends her nights in Blanco, Texas patrolling her yard, convinced her home is a portal for aliens. She went to a local hardware store and asked for dirt to block up a hole in her backyard, because that's where the aliens were coming in. Poor thing. [ONTD]
• Sir Sean Connery has won "Worst Movie Accent Of All Time," for playing an Irish-American cop in The Untouchables with his Scottish brogue. [Mirror]
• What the world needs now: Another Rambo movie. Yes, of course Sylvester Stallone is starring and directing. [Variety]
• "A police force is to review the death of Rolling Stones guitarist Brian Jones, 40 years since he was found lifeless in a swimming pool." [Mirror]
• "They do love each other, but they've always been very different. The funny thing is, they didn't fight as children. They didn't fight until they started the band. I hope this isn't the end of Oasis. I don't think it is. They're just tired at the end of the tour. They've had fights before and got over it." — Peggy Gallagher, on son Noel Gallagher quitting Oasis right before the band was supposed to headline a rock festival in Paris. Right before the split, Liam allegedly smashed a guitar and said to Noel: "You're no brother of mine!" [Mirror]
• "It's now like we have become spirits on the Internet. The time sense and the physical-location sense is lost. And of course the visual looks are lost, too." — Yoko Ono. [Newsweek]
• "This show is mad Brooklynish." Olivia Thirlby, on Bored To Death, the new HBO series starring Jason Schwartzman. [The New Yorker]
• "I start the day reading my political blogs. The Daily Beast. The Huffington Post. Daily Kos. But what annoys me is when celebrities all get on a bandwagon and support a t-shirt company that prints slogans about voting instead of getting involved with specific things they really care about and can nurture. So I try not to be another name on a list. I'm active in things like Planned Parenthood. I'm a poet and writer as well as an actress, and I think that is a kind of politics when I write about body image and the experiences of young people in Hollywood. I've always written stuff like that. It's kept me 94% sane because it's an outlet that a lot of actresses don't get to talk about." — Amber Tamblyn. [Parade]
• "I've said that I was an only child for many years, and I realize now it was a mistake saying it… But when I was about 7, a young woman came to our door and told my dad she was his daughter. And she was. She was from a fling he had in the '60s. Her name is China, and she's an artist and a welder. We've become close." — Amber Tamblyn. [Parade]
• "It is one of the toughest things I've ever done in my life. My entire body hurts. My muscle, my bone, everything." — Mila Kunis, on spending four hours a day, seven days a week in dance classes for Black Swan, in which she and Natalie Portman play rival ballerinas. [WWD]

• Robin Wright Penn has filed for divorce from Sean Penn due to "irreconcilable differences." They've already drawn up divorce papers twice before and announced their reconciliation in May.

• The papers say they've agreed to a division of their property and shared custody of their 16-year-old son (their 18-year-old daughter is starting college). [People]
• During her E! interview last night Jon Gosselin's girlfriend Hailey Glassman said of Kate Gosselin, "I think she's a great mother, but she's definitely going for the sympathy card." She added, "TLC didn't allow [Jon and Kate] to come out and say their marriage was over a year ago." [Radar Online]
• In her segment on the E! special, Kate Major said of Jon, "I would be lying if I said there wasn't instant chemistry between us." As for their current relationship status she says, "Right now, there is no happily ever after," However, "[I was] really, really impressed-and I still am-with the person that he is." [E!]
• Kari Anne Peniche, the other girl involved in the Eric Dane/Rebecca Gayheart nude tape, says that her former roommate, singer Mindy McCready, found the video on her hard drive. Peniche says McCready stole the hard drive when she moved out of their apartment and that the trio won the rights to the video and are threatening to sue anyone who posts it on the internet. [TMZ, N.Y. Post]
• Kari Ann Peniche's rep says she's "extremely upset over this situation. She considers Eric and Rebecca dear friends and this is an unfortunate incident where consenting adults who were having a little a fun are now victims of having personal property stolen and private matters made public." Peniche, who is a former Miss United States Teen, appears in the upcoming season of Celebrity Rehab With Dr. Drew. [Entertainment Tonight]
• So You Think You Can Dance choreographer Alex Da Silva has been arrested on eight felony counts of assault, including four counts of forcible rape. The D.A. says there are four victims who were all dangers in Da Silva's classes. [TMZ]
• In this video, Dr. Conrad Murray thanks his patients and friends for their support. He says he recorded a video thank you because he's afraid to return phone calls and emails "because of all that is going on." [TMZ]
• This morning on Today Ann Curry suggested Brad Pitt should make a more kid-friendly movie than Inglorious Basterds. He said he's voicing a "superhero who wants out" in the movie Oobermind with Tina Fey. "It's just something [the kids will] enjoy," he said, "and that's cool." [People]
• Quentin Tarantino says of Inglourious Basterds, "Oh, I know it's going to do fantastic in Germany. People have the wrong idea of Germany. You have to remember that with the possible exception of Jews, the people that have the biggest bringing-down-the–Third Reich fantasies are the last two generations of the Germans." [N.Y. Magazine]
• New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg says 50 Cent is no planning to perform in his old neighborhood in Queens. Earlier reports claimed city police were preparing for a 50 Cent concert on August 30. [UPI]
• An insider on the set of The Fighter says that for his role as a crack addict Christian Bale "has lost almost as much weight as he did for The Machinist. He is so gaunt... They have even thinned his hair-he just looks sickly." [E!]
• Nicole Kidman will appear on the special Project Runway: All Star Challenge on Thursday. [People]
• The ruling in Slash's lawsuit against a Sotheby's real estate agent has been delayed for a month because the judge says he needs more time to decide if the real estate agent misrepresented the a property Slash bought in 2006. [Daily Express]
• Joan Rivers is dating Norm Zada, founder of the adult magazine Perfect 10, which is dedicated to "the world's most beautiful natural women." [Perez Hilton]
• Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony hosted a dinner last night in their Long Island home in honor of Sonia Sotomayor. [Gossip Cop]
• Sony's new ad campaign features celebrity "experts" including Peyton Manning, Justin Timberlake, and Amy Sedaris, giving customers advice on which electronics they should buy. [Brand Week]
• Now that Survivor winner Richard Hatch has been released to house arrest after being imprisoned for failing to pay taxes, he's claiming that he was only sent to jail because he's gay. The prosecutors say that's "delusional." [AP]
• Johnny Knoxville has been, "telling people that his girlfriend, Naomi [Nelson], is three months pregnant," says an insider. "He's excited - and a little nervous." [Just Jared]
• 19-year-old Mike Byrne has been chosen to replace drummer Jimmy Chamberlin in The Smashing Pumpkins after more than 1,000 drummers responded to an open call. [AP]
• The first single of Mariah Carey's new CD will be a "gospel-tinged version" of Foreigner's "I Want To Know What Love Is." [ONTD]
• The Pussycat Dolls are canceling the first three dates of their tour with the Black Eyed Peas because Nicole Scherzinger has an ear infection. [All Business]
• Britney Spears will read David Letterman's Top 10 List tonight. [People]
• Shanna Moakler has agreed to let Travis Barker take their two kids on the road with him, but the custody papers say he has to arrange a vacation for her and the kids to Rhode Island at the end of the month. The papers also say the kids can't get near someone named Richard Sinnott "at any time whatsoever." [TMZ]
• A group of Russian gangsters are supposedly planning to kidnap Katie Price so she's taking her cage-fighter boyfriend Alex Reid with her to Spain. "The kidnap threat is a real worry and Kate feels much safer when Alex is around. He is a muscular man and a trained fighter who can watch her back at all times," says a source. "Kate's a tough woman but this is bound to really frighten her and convince her to take her boyfriend along for support. She will definitely feel much better having him on hand to double up as a bodyguard and scare off the mobsters." [Daily Star]
• In the clip at the link, a man takes parenting advice from Ryan O'Neal, who as you'll recall hit on his daughter, shot at one son, but bonded with the other while they were serving time for meth possession. [E!]
• A judge has ruled that Paris Hilton may have to pay back some of the $1 million she was paid to be in Pledge This!, but not the $8 million she's being sued for because it's not her fault it flopped. [AP]
• Mila Kunis says of Macaulay Culkin, her boyfriend of seven years, "I don't know if I met him at 27 if it would have been a different relationship... We grew up together. You find a steady rock in your life and that's all you need. We have our ups and downs, but work through them." [People]
• Joy Behar says of her new talk show The Joy Behar Show, "We're not going to cover depressing news. Well, we might, if someone interesting dies or something. You know, I'm following Nancy Grace, and she does a lot of crime stories, so maybe I'll pick up some of hers. She's interesting. The whole channel now - HLN - Headline News Network - is filled with divas. First is Jane Velez-Mitchell, then Nancy Grace, and then moi. The whole channel is like - how shall I say? - assertive women. It'll be fun." [N.Y. Magazine]
• Kourtney Kardashian says it was hard for her to tell her sister Kim Kardashian and mom Kris Jenner that she's pregnant. She explains, "Khloe and I called Kim on speakerphone, and I made Khloe tell her. I think Kim thought we were lying! Kim was excited, but I feel like her first reaction was like, 'Why? What are you doing?' It was really just shock. Especially since we are so extremely close, anything that happens in our family is earth-shattering to us. But she was excited. She just wanted to make sure that I had thought this through." She told her 12 and 13-year-old half-sisters in person, and now one of them calls her "fatty" every time she sees her. [People]

• George Michael was arrested on suspicion of driving under the influence yesterday after driving his car into the side of a truck. According to a police spokeswoman, he was "later released without charge" after five hours in police custody. [E!]

• Michael seemed "seemed completely disorientated, like he had no idea what was going on," says Laurie Rowe, the driver of the truck Michael hit, "He looked totally dazed and even tried to climb into the cab of my lorry. He kept saying he was worried he would go to jail." Luckily, both drivers were able to walk away from the crash. [DailyMail]
• Jon and Kate Gosselin were spotted together yesterday, along with their children, just a day after the couple had a "blowout" fight over Jon's babysitter choices that resulted in Kate being removed from the family's home by the police. [USMagazine]
• Meanwhile, Hailey Glassman says Jon Gosselin is her "first love" and that she's not in it for the publicity: "I'm not some famewhore," she says, "I've been in hiding for three months. Do I choose my life or do I choose Jon? I stay in my house with my parents where I feel safe. Take my 15 minutes, you can have it back. Please take it back!" [USWeekly]
• Jerry Seinfeld will be the first guest on Jay Leno's new show. [Reuters]
• Robert Pattinson is reportedly "comforting" Camilla Belle after her breakup with Joe Jonas. "They've been on the phone every night," says a source, "They sit and talk for hours on end, just making each other laugh. He also sends her sweet little text messages throughout the day." [ShowbizSpy]
• An arrest warrant has been issued for Bobby Brown, who allegedly has failed to pay child support for two of his children. [Reuters]
• Mila Kunis has happy memories of her former That 70's Show male costars: "[Ashton] Kutcher used to help me with my science homework. Wilmer [Valderrama] taught me to drive. Topher [Grace] talked about movies all the time. And Danny [Masterson] took me to my first club and bought me my first drink. He was my prom date, too." [PageSix]
• Brad Pitt says he quit smoking pot once he became a dad: "I certainly had my day. Now it kind of turns me into a doughnut," he says, "I'm a dad now. You want to be alert and my eyes used to glaze over when I did that." [DailyMail]
• Ugh: the crypt directly above Marilyn Monroe's is being auctioned off on Ebay by a widow who plans to move her husband's remains in order to "pay off the $1 million mortgage on her Beverly Hills home." [TheSun]
• Hugh Grant says he's considering retirement due to a severe case of stage fright: "In recent years, I've had really bad attacks, where I totally freeze up," he says, "I thought, 'Well, if I'm going to get stage fright, then I'm packing it in.'" [DailyExpress]
• Rachel McAdams ran into Antonio Sabato, Jr. on the set of Today, when both of them were promoting new projects, and was a bit starstruck. "Rachel was blushing and told Antonio she had the biggest crush on him in high school," says a source. Sabato returned the compliment by sending McAdams a bouquet of flowers. [PageSix]
• Charlize Theron hopes to have a big family someday: "I just know I'm going to have five boys." [TheSun]
• Cybill Shepherd says she left Elvis Presley after realizing that his drug addiction was out of control: "He said, 'Here, take these,' and he had pills in his hands and I said, 'Aren't you gonna take some of them?' and he said, 'Well, I've already had mine. He was almost already asleep and I went and flushed them down the toilet, returned his emerald and diamond ring and just said, 'Thankyou, but I can't.'" [DailyExpress]
• Lady Gaga gets fairly naked and kisses a woman in her new video. Apparently this is still considered "controversial." In 2009. [DailyMail]
• Hilary Duff has traveled to Bogota, Colombia, in order to distribute 3,000 backpacks filled with food to poor children via her Blessings in a Backpack program. [NYTimes]
• "If a girl wears a short skirt or dress, men automatically think, 'She wants it, and she's probably an animal in bed.' I just want to feel sexy today. I don't want you." -Amber Rose [PageSix]
• M.C. Hammer says he's planning a "companion" piece to Please, Hammer, Don't Hurt 'Em. The album, called "Don't Hurt Em", will "capture again the very essence and vibes of 'Please Hammer, Don't Hurt 'Em,' but updated with the sonic quality of today ... There'll be a lot of parallels between the two, but certainly it'll be very 2010." That's all well and good, but when are we going to get an Addams Family Groove remix!? [Reuters]

[Irwindale, California; January 13. Image via INF]

I hated that character from the second she flounced on the screen. I remember distinctly Portman telling Zach Braff's character that she was "weird" and then doing a silly little dance to illustrate her "weirdness." Honestly? Anyone who telegraphs their so-called weirdness so outlandishly is not actually weird, they're merely quirky enough to be vaguely interesting without having their own thing going on. They're completely mainstream but have one really big tattoo, or occasionally sing really loud in the shower! "Oh, Natalie," the A.V. Club writes, "your unconventional ways are so inspiring, and your beauty is surprisingly non-threatening!"

As the A.V. Club deftly notes, "Like the Magical Negro, the Manic Pixie Dream Girl archetype is largely defined by secondary status and lack of an inner life. She's on hand to lift a gloomy male protagonist out of the doldrums, not to pursue her own happiness." Since they've defined it so succinctly, I've realized that many recent films employ the MPDG stock character — Forgetting Sarah Marshall, for instance, where Mila Kunis's character is a free spirited nymph deposited on the shores of Hawaii in order to encourage Jason Segel to write the vampire rock puppet musical he's been fantasizing about for years. But what of the dude? You know, the brooding artsy loser in need of a MPDG to revive his creative and sexual juices? The ones who use MPDG's to stroke their fragile egos and project their muse-fantasies on? What should we call him? I think he deserves a name because these movies, and the notion of the MPDG, are really about him: his needs, his desires, his artistic endeavors.

Wimpster, while appropriate, lacks the specificity of MPDG and also is so four years ago. Maybe the new bromantics, because that term emphasizes their dudeliness but also their childish notions of romantic attachment? In any event, these self-absorbed whiners are to be avoided in real life, though, like (adorable!) Jason Segal in FSM, new bromantics can be charming in film.

Wild Things: 16 Films Featuring Manic Pixie Dream Girls [AV Club]
Soapbox [The Petite Sophisticate]
Meet The Wimpster [The Black Table]

[Los Angeles, May 21. Image via Bauer-Griffin]

Los Angeles Times:

The roles of Sarah and Rachel might have been one-dimensional and shrill, but neither Segel's script nor Kunis and Bell's performances allow that to happen. Forgetting Sarah Marshall delights in its frequent raunchy moments — to get any more full-frontal Segel you'd have to move in with him — but it functions on a mellower, more rueful level.

Forgetting Sarah Marshall continues the post-Wedding Crashers trend of pushing comedies to the limits of the R rating, with lots of explicit dialogue and a few exposed boobs to go with that dangling member. But it avoids the gross-out one-upmanship of filth for filth's sake. The nude breakup scene that begins the movie is funny but also painfully intimate, like the moment in Robert Altman's Short Cuts when Julianne Moore confesses to a long-ago adulterous affair while naked from the waist down. A late scene in which Sarah and Peter have a miserably failed go at relapse sex is a good example of raunchiness that serves a narrative purpose. Other scenes, like the extended "pearl necklace" gag that's been so heavily peddled in trailers, are just dirty for the laugh-getting hell of it, and that's OK too.

But scene after scene, there's always something a little off about Forgetting Sarah Marshall. Even in the midst of the movie's attempts at sharp-edged humor, Segel and Stoller do try for a degree of sweetness, or at least even-handedness; they clearly want us to feel sympathy even for characters who have behaved badly. Still, those moments feel like afterthoughts: Toward the end of the movie, Bell's Sarah is given a few chances to show she's essentially a decent human being, but mostly the character comes off as shrill, brittle and spoiled, and there isn't much Bell can do to give her more dimension.

Bell, whose comic timing was evident in TV's Veronica Mars, doesn't fare quite as well here. It's really the guys' movie, unlike Knocked Up, where Katherine Heigl and Leslie Mann were often as funny as their male counterparts. Mila Kunis plays Rachel, Peter's new love interest, and she comes across as pleasant but not particularly humorous. Both she and Sarah are stock Hollywood girlfriend figures — one is laid-back and the other high-maintenance — but neither is a fully formed character.

But the schlub-hottie pairings that have become ubiquitous on screen lately also reinforce a dreary double standard. Guys are permitted to be flabby, lazy emotional wrecks, but as long as they crack jokes, some action will come their way. Girls, ideally, should have a sense of humor — mainly so they can laugh at those jokes — but for the most part they should look good in a bikini and like sex (though not too much and not anything too weird). Maybe someday, though probably not under Mr. Apatow's aegis, a relatively ordinary-looking woman will have a sex comedy of her own.

As embodiments go, the Segel physique, a long, pale, uncooked dinner roll of a shape, is an apt one for the attractions of this very funny, very chewy, partially undercooked comedy. Indeed, with even more ferocity of purpose and Andy Kaufman-school fearlessness than that roly-poly Seth Rogen in Knocked Up or noodly-oodly Christopher Mintz-Plasse in Superbad, Segel embraces the destiny of male anatomy in yet another clever creation from the Judd Apatow Alumni Association; this one, too, speaks from the male heart (and other parts) in a language accessible to females. Yet it does so with a fresh yeastiness I haven't already seen in other Apatovian products.

Apatow's specialty has always been malius dumbius, the male of the species, a gender focus that has drawn criticism for its portrayal of women as humor-impaired nags and drags. But though once again the female characters in Forgetting Sarah Marshall only amount to walking-talking prizes to be loved, chased or fought over, Bell and Kunis bring feisty, funny dimension to their roles. And there is one tense-dialogue scene between the two — when the subtext is territorial possession of Peter — that's one of the movie's most sensitively written moments.

It seems to me that the success of Apatow and company derives from the fact that though their premises offer a lot of vulgar promise, they rarely deliver on that potential full-bore. What they're really doing, most of the time, is offering twists and updates on the classic romantic comedy formulas, making them acceptable to today's much younger movie audiences. For example, Forgetting Sarah Marshall seems to be what the academics like to call a "Comedy of Remarriage." You know — fairly mature couple splits up, endures some feckless romantic misadventures, then get more happily reconnected in the final reel. You expect that to happen with these kids. But it doesn't. Instead something that's equally civilized, but a little less formulaic develops, something that is obviously appealing to the optimism and inexperience of a young audience occurs. This is a fairly low-keyed comedy, but a grown-up dropping in on it can appreciate its lack of frenzy, its fundamental good nature, as easily as its core audience will. It isn't exactly a gem, but as zircons go, it'll do.

Forgetting Sarah Marshall