Now that Katie Holmes and Suri Cruise have been away from the Xenu madness and securely ensconced in the filthy bosom of Manhattan for some time, the 7-year-old child can go about having a totally normal childhood. Which now involves ghost-designing a fashion line that's worth more than Reese Witherspoon's new…

Wedding themes, like prom themes (This Magic Moment, A Night to Remember, Magic Carpet Ride, etc.), usually fall into just a few categories. You don't see too much required camo/hot pink dress codes like the one at Sugar Bear and Mama June Shannon's wedding. It took place in their McIntyre, Georga backyard, with…

Baby weight: A thing that happens, sometimes. Ways to fix/change it: Tuna melts*, not caring, doing Zumba or some shit, more tuna melts, or encasing yourself in a chamber of horrors like Jessica Alba. In an interview with Net-a-Porter's magazine, Alba divulges her post-pregnancy weight-loss secret after giving birth…

Sigh. Amanda Bynes' repeated insistence on only using her (technically crappy; see above) Twitter selfies comes from a dark place, it looks like. I know: You're totally shocked.

So Lindsay Lohan asks to borrow a designer dress for the amFAR gala from stylist Phillip Bloch, whose number she got from Charlie Sheen. Is any part of what I just said a valid reason to hand over a $1,750 dress of intricate beadwork and gossamer fairy tits and silkworms that only eat free-range food and drink fair…

No! The wonderfully batty, tipsy holy duo of Hoda and Kathie Lee are boiling with resentment thanks to that classic American triptych of greed, geography and sheer carnal impulse. (I may have thrown that third one in.) Apparently Kathie Lee has been lobbying to move Today to Los Angeles for quite some time, and her…

A lot of people have asked themselves why Law & Order: SVU — a show primarily about victims' advocacy — would cast known convicted rapist Mike Tyson on their program, but, now, thanks to these previews for tomorrow's episode, we finally have an answer. It's because he's such a good actor. Okay, Dick Wolf. CHUNG…

I've spent a lot of time analyzing my long-term, stable(r), monogamous attachment to Law & Order: SVU (how do we keep the spark alive!?), and one of the main conclusions I've come to is that—for all its gratuitous trauma-porn issues — it's a show largely about women that actually acknowledges how scary and vulnerable it …

As if Lindsay Lohan smacking a woman at a nightclub after a Justin Bieber concert over some dude from a band called The Wanted didn't already sound like a demented Canterbury Tale written in glitter pen ("Lindsay got drunker and drunker… and it turned Max [George] off"), there is now a whole new dimension of absurdity.…

Yes, Rihanna and Chris Brown put their faces on each other at a club in the Meatpacking District this past evening after arriving within five minutes of each other. Like the classiest mating call displayed on a Discovery Channel special, Breezy "raised his shirt and was dancing promiscuously" in Rihanna's general…