• How did Brad Pitt end up in Inglourious Basterds? Booze and weed maybe:

"All I know is we talked about backstory and we talked about movies into the wee hours," Brad says. "I got up the next morning and I saw five empty bottles of wine on the floor. Five. And something that resembled smoking apparatus, I don't know what that was. Apparently I had agreed to do the movie and six weeks later I was in a uniform." You read that right: He and Quentin Tarantino were wasted and talking about Hitler. [Guardian]

• "'Today' show's Ann Curry can't keep hands off 'Inglourious Basterds' Brad Pitt in Cannes." [NY Daily News]
• Some guy named Kris Allen won this thing called American Idol. Will the Glambert have a career?!?! [Reuters, NY Daily News]
• Simon Cowell has his personal bodyguards watching over Terri Seymour after she was attacked by a disgruntled American Idol fan. [Daily Mail]
• Green Day has the most popular CD in the country, but you can't get it at Wal-Mart; "They won't carry our record because they wanted us to censor it," frontman Billie Joe Armstrong says. The retailer would have offered a "clean" version, but Billie Joe explains: "We just said no. We've never done it before. You feel like you're in 1953 or something." [AP]
• Rihanna was indeed seen kissing rapper Drake, whom you may know as Aubrey Graham, aka Jimmy Brooks on Degrassi: The Next Generation; the guy in the wheelchair. Remember that time he found out he couldn't get it up? Yeah. Anyway click here for a LOL. [People]
• The recent Bruce Springsteen hubub — in which he was accused of having an affair with his neighbor's wife — was actually extortion. The husband thought the rocker would pay "big money" to make the accusations "go away." [NY Post]
• The brother of Jon Gosselin's alleged mistress says: "The rumors are true… Personally, I do think they're going to continue seeing each other. I think they think they can get away with it." [E!]
• Kate Gosselin says the tabloids are making her life hell and she is worried about the kids: . "I don't want them dragged into this. It kills me. I've been saying, 'Let's find a country where our show doesn't air, and let's just go there until this all dies.' I have to laugh about this, or else I'll cry. It's a matter of, when will they stop?" [People]
• Mariah Carey announced the title of her new album via Twitter: "Bcuz I Love U, I want u to be the first to know the title of my new album Memoirs Of An Imperfect Angel. It's very personal & dedicated to u." It is not dedicated to proper spelling, however. [Mirror]
• Talent firms William Morris and Endeavor are merging, which is good news for clients like Amy Adams, Keira Knightley, Ben Affleck and Matt Damon, but bad news for the 100+ people who have been laid off. [Gatecrasher]
• Chris Brown may be working on a country song called "Trapped In A Dream." Doesn't he mean nightmare? [E!]
• Kim Cattrall has written an essay about making Memorial Day meaningful for The Huffington Post. She writes: "My family has served in the military dating back at least four generations, so I can truly appreciate the sacrifices made by those men and women who have fought so courageously in defense of freedom." [HuffPo]
• Kim Kardashian's Dash stores in Miami and Calabasas CA have both been vandalized — the perps scribbled graffiti on the windows, and the kopykat krime in CA included a note which read, "We love you Kim!!" If you love her, why are you spraypainting her windows? [TMZ, E!]
• Susan Boyle: Namechecked on The Simpsons. [Mirror]
• The head honcho at Disney/ABC is being dragged into Kate Walsh's divorce battle — Kate's ex wants him to testify about Kate's finances. [TMZ]
• Josh Lucas has dumped a gf via text message in the past. "I'm sickeningly embarrassed about it to this day." [Gatecrasher]
• A man in Montana — who was accused in 2005 of trying to kidnap David Letterman's son — was denied appeal by the Montana Supreme Court. [AP]
• Michael Jackson canceled the first four opening shows of his 50-date gig at London's O2 arena, which means 80,000 fans who had bought tickets will have to wait up to eight months to see the concerts. Jackson says the cancellation is due to "technical issues." As in, technically, he is not ready to do a huge concert? [Daily Mail]
• Can you ever, ever get tired of seeing pictures of 50 Cent and Bette Midler together? [Gatecrasher]
• James Cameron's Avatar, described by Steven Soderbergh as "the craziest shit ever," may be shown in theaters for THREE MONTHS. [NY Mag]
• Natalie Cole had a kidney transplant on Tuesday; she had been have dialysis three times a week since September. [CNN]
• "'Meet me man to man and I'll save your marriage,' Katie Price's horse 'hunk' tells Peter Andre." [Daily Mail]
• In case you didn't hear, My Name Is Earl has been canceled. [Mirror, BBC]
• Abbie Cornish is in Jane Campion's new flick, Bright Star, and according to this report, she "dyed her locks chocolate brown, filled out her figure to fit with the era's rounder beauty standards and took diction lessons in order to deliver Keats' poetry just so." [WWD]
• Rosario Dawson will star opposite — ugh — Kevin James in a romcom called The Zookeeper. What is up with the schlubby dudes getting hot ladies? [Variety]
• Hank Azaria plays a reanimated ancient Egyptian bent on world domination in Night at the Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian and says: "It's kind of my niche — semi-naked, accented freak." [LA Times]
• Rapper/producer Swizz Beatz is in a relationship with Alicia Keys. But he's not yet divorced from wife Mashonda. He wants the court to seal documents related to the divorce so the public doesn't know any details. [Page Six]
• Michael Douglas spent Wednesday night moderating a panel of Washington experts on the issue of ridding the world of nuclear weapons. I watched Clean House. [USA Today]
• Phil Spector may get life in prison. [Mirror]
• Congrats to Chad Lowe and girlfriend Kim Painter, whose first child, Mabel Painter Lowe, was born on Saturday. [Star]
• Samantha Harris, the lady with the brown hair on Dancing With The Stars, will play Roxie Hart in Chicago on Broadway. [Page Six]
• Heather Mills was approached to be the face of a video game (based around someone with a prosthetic arm), but she wanted six figures to get involved with the project, and the producers were like, No. [The Sun]
• Redmond O'Neal was transferred to a new jail, where he'll begin intensive drug treatment. [People]
• "As she exhibits the bloodstained bag John Lennon's clothes were stored in after his murder, why the ex-Beatle's fans are saying 'You're just a ghoul, Yoko.'" [Daily Mail]
• RIP Wayne Allwine, who was the voice of Mickey Mouse. [Reuters]
• Blind item! "Which top model was dismissed from her agency - all because she became a Scientologist?" [Gatecrasher]
• "Batman's a hell of a lot tougher to do because he's all physical. He doesn't use guns. He's completely physical. John Connor uses guns. It's just a matter of picking somebody off and getting a good shot." — Christian Bale. [Mirror]
• "I've joined the millions and millions of women on the planet who are working mums, and I've discovered it's a real balancing act. I think the most incredible thing for me was that I didn't read any books about how to be a mum. Your instinct kicks in, and it's like you're tapping knowledge that you have in your DNA." — Rachel Weisz. [Mirror]
• "Artistically, me and Brad have been sniffing around each other for a while. The longing looks across the room, the little notes, 'I like you, do you like me.' Pretty quickly into writing I realised this is the one for Brad and then I started getting nervous – 'shit, if he doesn't do it, what the fuck am I going to do?'" — Quentin Tarantino, on Inglourious Basterds. he also says: "I'm never going to explain the spelling. When you do an artistic flourish like that, to describe it, to explain it, to take the piss out of it would invalidate the whole stroke in the first place." [Guardian]
• "We interviewed GfE's. They were intrigued by (the film). They were very helpful, very open. They would have to see the film to let me know if it's an accurate depiction of their lifestyle or not. There was only one of them we talked to that was in a committed relationship. That was one of the things we talked about — how do relationships work when this is your job? Most of them said it really doesn't. Most of them said if I'm going to get serious with someone then I'll stop working for a while and play it out. All of them said it never works out with a client. Whenever you move from the client to a real relationship it never works out. Although the one that we met who was in a committed relationship did meet that person as a client and they have been together for a long time. So I guess there are no absolutes. But in general they seem to think that doesn't work." — Steven Soderbergh, on his new film, The Girlfriend Experience. [Reuters]
• "Every time I am making a movie I feel insecure, and I feel scared, and that's part of the way I work.If one day I would be on the set feeling too secure - that would really scare me." — Penelope Cruz. [Yahoo News via AP]
• "I'd like to offer an apology and a clarification to remarks I made recently. While on the David Letterman program, I joked that I might need a ‘mail-order bride' to achieve the goal of having more children in my life. I believe that most people understood that this was a joke and took it as such. (A dated reference, no doubt, and another sign of my advancing age.) However, I do apologize to anyone who took offense." — Jack Donaghy Alec Baldwin. [MSNBC]
• "Showbiz types are people who grew up talking to themselves alone in a room for hours until they found some sort of outlet. Once they found that outlet, everything fell into place, except for the fact that they still never worked out why they still talk so much. So you see, though filled with deep emotional voids that can never be filled, Showbiz Types are an important part of our Nation's tapestry. I'm a Showbiz Type. (cue penny whistle and marching drums) But I am not a douche!!" — John Mayer. [Perez]
• "FRESH ASS PICTURE!!! YO WHY CAN'T ALL PAPARAZZI PHOTOS BE THIS GOOD? WELL OBVIOUSLY BECAUSE MOST CELEBS JUST AREN'T RIHANNA LOL! ... BUT ON THE REAL, THIS PIC IS HARDCORE. PEEP THE PERSPECTIVE SHOT OF THE CITY IN THE BACK. SOMETIMES THE PAPS OVEREXPOSE THE LENS OR HAVE THE FLASH TOO HIGH TAKING ALL THE EMOTION OUT OF THE MOMENT. THIS MOMENT IS CAPTURED IN TIME NOW. I LOOK AT OUR CURRENT SUPERSTARS LIKE LEGENDS IN THE MAKING... LIKE JUSTIN IS THE NEW MIKE , BEYONCE'S THE NEW TINA TURNER, GAGA'S MADONNA, JAY IS SINATRA... WAYNE IS HENDRIX, THOM YORKE IS ROGER WATERS, THESE ARE THE CHAMPIONS AND SHOULD BE DOCUMENTED AS SUCH. THAT SAID, IT WOULD BE DOPE IF THE PAPS OPERATED WITH THE SAME INTEGRITY AND ATTENTION TO THEIR CRAFT AS THE LEGENDS THEY PHOTOGRAPH..... GOOD JOB ON THIS ONE!" — Your friend Kanye West, complimenting a snap of Rihanna. [Kanye Univercity, NY Daily News]

[Los Angeles, April 23. Image via Getty]

As you see, it's eggs. With Disney characters stamped on the shells. Possibly selling at a markup. Is this some kind of tie-in to a movie, or further proof of the evils of agribusiness and the coming apocalypse? And while marketers obviously want to trick kids into believing that the plain old eggs are going to come out magically Mickey-shaped, we want to know: 1. Do the eggs come with the mold? 2. How much does said mold cost? 3. Does egg actually seep out from under edges of said mold, rendering shape unrecognizable, as has been the case in all our experiments with whimsical egg-shapery? The only way I can see this strangely low-fi "new product" swaying any egg-hater is if you give them something shell-on, ie hard-boiled or soft-cooked. Even then, any kid is quickly going to get wise to the fact that it's just a plain old egg, but a prancing Donald Duck might buy you a reluctant bite or two.

• Scarlett Johansson is just getting back from a four-day trip to Rwanda, where she visited AIDS clinics. She went in conjunction with (RED) and says: "I came here with an open mind, wanting to listen, understand and learn; I leave with the overwhelming understanding that the small action of making a (RED) choice in your purchases ... has an enormous impact on the lives of people in countries like Rwanda." [People]
• Santa must think you've been very good: Stephen Colbert is hosting a one-hour Christmas special on Comedy Central. A Colbert Christmas: The Greatest Gift of All! will air Nov. 23. It's a musical, of course. Look for John Legend, Elvis Costello, Toby Keith, Willie Nelson, Feist and Daily Show host Jon Stewart, who's supposed to sing a duet with Colbert of a song simply titled "Hanukkah." It's the most wonderful time of the year! [AP]
• Anne Hathaway's "people" don't want you to know that she smokes. [Rush & Molloy]
• Breaking news: Madonna is rude. [Perez Hilton]
• Barbra Streisand sang at a fundraiser for Barack Obama last night. Her song choices: "When the Sun Comes Out," "Make Someone Happy," "What Are You Doing the Rest of Your Life?" and "Shining Hour." [Fox 411]

• Is Britney's label pushing her too hard? She's been going to the studio ever since she got out of the hospital, but it was more therapeutic than anything — now her CD is going to drop. Too much too soon? A source "close" to her record label says: "As long as it's produced well and has a good beat, she’ll have a hit. Really, the quicker we do it, the better it will be. You shouldn’t overthink some things." Has Britney ever been accused of overthinking anything? [MSNBC]
• Jennifer Lopez threw Marc Anthony a surprise 40th birthday party in New York — on the same day she completed her first triathlon in Malilbu. Over-achieve much, showoff? Anywhoozle, the party had a casino and showgirl vibe with Dita Von Teese, a salsa orchestra, mojitos and dancers in feather headdresses. [People]
• Searching for images of Brad Pitt can kill your computer, but what a lovely way to go. [MSNBC]
• Ricky Gervais thinks obese people should be shunned: "I don't think there's enough stigma. I laugh about being fat but I should be ashamed. I should walk down the street and have people shouting 'Fatty'. That's what I want, to get me out of it. In supermarkets, the really fattening stuff should be behind a really thin door. Shops should be full of salads but if you want to get to the pies and cakes, you've got to crawl through a little tube." [Telegraph]
• Nicole Kidman will star in The Eighth Wonder, an action-adventure movie described as a globe-spanning archeological thriller like Raiders Of The Lost Ark meets the Bourne films. You know what would truly be wondrous? If Nicole's forehead moved. [Hollywood Reporter]
• Madame Sarkozy, aka Carla Bruni, performed on Later… With Jools Holland, appearing alongside Metallica and Kings Of Leon. Sigh. Laura Bush never rocks out on TV. [BBC News]
• Last week, Los Angeles International Airport Police used a "decoy" Jamie Lynn Spears to fool the paparazzi; now somebody is in trouble. LAX Spokesman Albert Rodriguez says: "It is not the policy or practice for Airport Police to provide a celebrity decoy. Los Angeles World Airports policy prohibits special courtesies to be provided to celebrities." But seriously, if the girl has a baby and can't get through the airport without being followed, what are her options? Going Kanye West on mothertruckers? [Yahoo News]
• Oh gawd: Gwyneth Paltrow tells Oprah, "I just cannot diet. It's worth it to me to do that extra exercise so I can eat what I want and not think about it." But she has trouble losing "these 20 extra pounds." WTF. [People]
• According to the director of one of her films, Jessica Biel saw some tiny Ferris wheel in a Hyde Park, London, and said, "Oh, it's the London Eye. I thought it would be a bit bigger." The director exclaims: "She had no fucking idea whatsoever." He seems to find her dim. [ONTD]
• It's pretty obvious that Naomi Watts is pregnant with her second kid. [Sydney Morning Herald]
• Miley Cyrus's new dude is not so new, she's known him for like, 3 months. And! This isn't the first time they've gone to church together, ooooh. [Yahoo News]
• Jamie Foxx and Dancing With The Stars' Stacy Keibler were all over each other in Las Vegas over the weekend. But! The very next day, Foxx was grinding on some other blonde. [Rush & Molloy]
• A country music retirement community? I'm picturing porches full of harmonicas, banjos and washboards. In otherwords: Awesome. [UPI]
• So you know how Paris Hilton has a show, Paris Hilton's My New BFF? She claims the "winner" is actually her new best friend. "We hang out. Yeah, we're really friends. We've been having barbecues and hanging out at the house. The winner and I have been pretty low-key so far, because it is top secret right now," she says. [Reuters]
• Famed writer-illustrator Maurice Sendak celebrated his 80th birthday Monday night with Meryl Streep, James Gandolfini, Catherine Keener and director Spike Jonze. (Jonze has adapted Where The Wild Things Are into a film, to be released in October 2009.) Sendak says: "Some of the problems that were mentioned in growing up in New York persist… Eighty solves nothing… So many friends were on the stage tonight and so many people I have worked with and loved — and still love. And what it did was ignite in me a feeling of wanting to continue to work." [Yahoo News]
• Sir Paul McCartney was out at an event with his new ladyfriend, Nancy Shevell, for the first time. Looking forward to the day we stop hearing about Heather Mills? [Telegraph]
• Adrianne Curry has a stalker. (?!?!?) [TMZ]
• Will all the ladies from The Girls Next Door get spinoffs? Hugh Hefner says yes! He's also amazed that the show is a success: "We thought it would be a one-season wonder." [E!]
• Michael Douglas to play a sex addict? Did you know he was rumored to be one in the '90s? [Guardian]
• Jack Nicholson, Jon Bon Jovi and Shaquille O'Neal are among 30 nominees to the New Jersey Hall of Fame. [Yahoo News]
• Take a deep breath, then check out this picture of Jocelyn Wildenstein having lunch with her boyfriend. [The.Life Files]
• "Up until Palin was selected as McCain’s running mate I felt no need to say who I thought should win in November, as long as everyone at least got out and voted for who they thought was the best choice to run this country. After Lindsay pointed out how frightening Palin is I decided that I wasn’t going to remain impartial and posted her blog on my page. That’s all. I’m English, I can’t vote here. If I could I would vote for Obama, that’s all." — Samantha Ronson. [Pop Dirt]
• "I've had sex in all 50 states. A lot of it was on a road trip I took when I was younger. [The best] was in Arizona and Colorado. Maybe it was the clear air, or the quiet, or the endless sky. Whatever it was, it was really, really good. But as for Alaska — I’d really like a do-over on that state." — Eva Mendes. [The Sun]
• "My dad is probably one of the handsomest guys ever. I was making a joke and I said, 'If I was a chick, I'd [bleep] you.' He was like, 'You can't say that! Shut your mouth!'" — Josh Brolin to W. [Page Six]
• "Mickey Mouse has become an awesome character, even though according to Islamic law, Mickey Mouse should be killed in all cases. The shari'a (Islamic religious law) refers to the mouse as 'little corrupter,' and says it is permissible to kill it in all cases. It says that mice set fire to the house, and are steered by Satan. The mouse is one of Satan's soldiers." — Saudi sheik Muhammad al-Munajid. [UPI]

• This just in from assuming crazy things from statistical studies: polygamy makes men live longer! Spoiling grandchildren helps older women live longer! • Anti-abortion activists in India target Google, Yahoo, and Microsoft for allowing ads to appear on their websites that advertise letting couples learn the gender of their fetus (which could lead to abortions of unwanted female fetuses). • Is the old wives' tale that morning sickness indicates a mother is pregnant with a female baby true? Probably, but only if the morning sickness is severe. • The funeral for Sandy Allen, the tallest woman (coming in at 7 feet, 7 inches) drew 200 people and she was remembered for her kind generosity. • A US researcher claims that Australian women are too timid at work, and struggle with appearing too pushy at work. • Horror story! A hospital in Japan mistakenly removed a woman's left breast after they confused her ID number with that of a cancer patient. • Bev Street has entered the record books by catching the largest freshwater fish ever caught by a woman in Britain. It was a 69 lb. catfish.

• Dita von Teese is collaborating with Wonderbra on a lingerie collection to be called — so original! — Wonderbra by Dita von Teese. Um, what would Dita von Teese know about needing a Wonderbra? [Vogue UK]
  
• BBC reporter Jeremy Paxman, no stranger to calling attention to the pressing news stories of our time, is currently shifting the focus to the problem of...men's underwear. A letter he wrote to Marks & Spencer CEO Stuart Rose was printed in today's Times of London: "Like very large numbers of men in this country I have always bought my socks and pants [that's Britspeak for underwear, FYI] at Marks & Sparks...I have noticed that something very troubling has happened. There's no other way to put this. Their pants no longer provide adequate support." [Vogue UK]
  
• Scary: Designer Vivienne Tam has designed Mickey and Minnie Mouse new costumes for the Chinese New Year celebration at Disney China. Scarier: Replicas of the outfits are on sale in Tam's retail stores. [AP]

• Katie Couric's style tips for how to not look old: "Number one, shorten your skirt. Right where the knee melts into the lower leg is the perfect length; if it's too long, it's very mumsy. Number two, change from a dark burgundy lipstick to a pink. It's the easiest thing you can do. And number three, have great skin. The better the skin, the less make-up you need, and there's no need to pile on the foundation." Um, have great skin. What a great beauty tip! Up there with "avoid being born to someone with bad genes." [Fashion Week Daily]
• Ooooh: our favorite accessories brand we can't afford, Loeffler Randall, is debuting a swimwear line. Good thing we do not wear bathing suits! [WWD]
• Are women rejecting cheap shoes? [Independent]
• Nahhh, probably not. [LATimes]
• Where's the best place for a designer to open up a flagship boutique in Amsterdam? The red light district, of course. [Reuters]
• All this "feed the malnourished models" outrage and Erin O'Connor still thinks she is fat. [Independent]
• We think granny panties are actually sort of sexy, so fuck you. [Sassybella]
• "Little girls hear 'R-E-S-P-E-C-T' and don't know that it isn't an 'American Idol' song." Sigh. [LA Times]

• There's a Simpsons character-generator available on the website to promote the Simpsons movie (out in just 4 weeks!). This is what we think Jezebel would look like. [SimpsonsMovie]
  
• Danny DeVito is to receive the 42nd Karloby Vary International Film Festivals's special award for outstanding creative achievement. We hope he stays away from the Limoncello the night before accepting, or he's going to take "creative achievement" to a whole other level. [USA Today]
  
• Barbra Streisand was honored by the French government today, a development we assume will make Republicans hate her even more than they do. [BBC]
  
• Despite a thwarted terrorist bombing in London today, the U.S. terrorist threat color code has not changed. Which we think means we're still at the, "Fear for your lives!" level that the Bush administration like to maintain as standard operating procedure. [CNN]
  
• Aw, little Harry Potter! Scared to kiss girls! Our inappropriate crush on him grows. [CNN]

• Lady Bird Johnson, our best named First Lady ever, has returned home from hospital the hospital. [CNN]
• A Hamas-run Palestinian children's program ran a segment today in which a Mickey Mouse character preaching islam was beaten to death by Israelis, referred to on the program as "the killers of children." We do not think this is a great move towards peaceful negotiations on either side. [Yahoo]
• Ice-T and his wife are getting a reality show and we're super stoked. Seriously. [ABC News]
• Five U.S. soldiers killed on Thursday. [CNN]