It's Ripley! And looking absolutely action-hero splendid.


Speaking of ass-kicking chic, check out Jamie Lee Curtis' sleek LBD - and gorgeous silver crop!


Zoe Saldana manages to look stunning in a futuristic scrap-metal majorette's uniform, which is saying a lot.


Virginia Madsen's classic LBD is ready for a mid-century holiday party, complete with Tom & Jerrys.


Michelle Rodriguez is a vision in fuschia: the contrast with undone hair keeps it casual.


I might have been tempted to not put a spotlight directly on my bosom, but Cheryl Tiegs knows what she wants.


Everyone's favorite Rorshach couple, the DeVito-Perlmans.


Audrina Patridge is identified as an "actress" here. I don't know about that, but I do know that this "suit" looks ridiculous.


Leona Lewis is thisclose to a "happy birthday, Mr. President" moment.


CCH Pounder takes "drapery" to a whole new level. Even Rami bows his head in shame before its sheer scope.

[Images via Getty]

• Tiger Woods reportedly still hasn't brought in a public relations crisis team to help him deal with the public fallout and media blitz surrounding his "indiscretions," even though it was recommended to him when the scandal broke. [RadarOnline]

• "They've been completely ineffective in handling this scandal from a pr standpoint," says a source, "It's just gotten worse and worse." [RadarOnline]
• The scandal is starting to take its toll on Tiger's sponsors, as well: Gillette spokesman Mike Norton says the company is pulling back on all ads featuring Woods in order to "support him as he takes a break from his professional career and that's why we're supporting him by limiting his role in our marketing programs." [BostonGlobe]
• Nike also supports Woods, stating that the company will stand by him through his troubles: "Tiger has been part of Nike for more than a decade. He is the best golfer in the world and one of the greatest athletes of his era. We look forward to his return to golf. He and his family have Nike's full support." [USWeekly]
• AT&T, meanwhile, says they "support Tiger's decision and our thoughts will be with him and his family," and "are presently evaluating our ongoing relationship with him." [NYDN]
• And News of the World is reporting that Elin Nordegren is set to dump Tiger after Christmas: "In the short-term they'll act like any other loving couple," says a source, "Elin won't break it all up right away. But she does need some time alone to herself and a legal separation will happen very quickly." [NewsoftheWorld]
• "If I wanted to tell people what I do with my vagina, I'd have made a sex video a long time ago. Largely, people don't know the whole story about anything. But still they need to put a name on it so that they can label it and put it on the side and not have to dedicate time to figuring it out. It's laziness."-Michelle Rodriguez on rumors about her sexuality. [TimesOnline]
• Hugh Grant says he was drunk when he spent $2 million on an Andy Warhol painting of Elizabeth Taylor in 2001; he later sold the painting in 2007 for $13 million. "I slightly regret selling it now," he says, "even though it made me rich." [DailyMail]
• Bonnie Wright says her older brother had read the Harry Potter books and thought she'd reminded him of Ginny Weasley, the character she ended up playing in the Potter films. "I was only nine at the time and didn't know who any of the characters were" Wright says, "but I read the first one and was hooked. When my mum came home from work, I said, "Please, please can you get me an audition for Harry Potter?" [DailyMail]
• "I always got on very well with John. He took the piss out of me, which made me laugh. He was a character, sarcastic, full of quips. When the Beatles had their first record out, "Love Me Do", John played it to me and I came out with a classic: 'You should sell this to the Everly Brothers.' Shows you what I knew! He never let me forget that. Whenever I saw him he'd say 'We're still writing songs for the Everly Brothers' and piss himself laughing."- Jimmy Tarbuck, who went to school with John Lennon [Guardian]
• Holly Madison has been spotted recently with Good Charlotte's Benji Madden, though she claims he isn't her boyfriend, but her "adventure buddy." [People]
• Jonathan Togo of CSI:Miami was arrested and charged with felony domestic violence after an argument with his girlfriend. [TMZ]
• Kim and Khloe Kardashian buy underwear, news at eleven. [PageSix]
• Carey Hart is apparently not afraid of the old tattoo-breakup curse, as he had his wife, Pink's face tattooed on his leg in a ""day of the dead style." [People]
• "People do discover new music, but it's very difficult. Modern music to most people sounds strange and abstract and painful to the ear, but nonetheless I think it's worth extolling. You need to discover something new. That's what human beings need: newness, novelty."-Sting [People]
• And, perhaps in a bid to qualify Sting's claims, Spencer Pratt has registered his own music company, "King Spencer Music." [TMZ]
• Meanwhile, Sting's son, Jake Sumner has been tapped to shoot a short film for DKNY, starring Christina Ricci. [PageSix]
• Mariah Carey is set to embark on her first tour in three years: the "Angel's Advocate" tour will kick off on New Year's Eve in NYC and end in Las Vegas in February. [Reuters]
• Summit Entertainment, the studio that distributed Twilight, also plans to release Roman Polanski's The Ghost Writer in 2010. [Reuters]
• Jennifer Hudson says she's a "holiday fanatic" who loves to celebrate Christmas: "It hurts me so when I see people like, 'Whatever, Christmas is just another day.' I'm that person who's going to go over there and get you into the holiday spirit. And that's how I've always been." [People]
• Halle Berry says she has been volunteering at the Jenesse Center, an LA-area battered women's shelter, for years, as "I saw my mother battered, and could not do anything to stop it. My father was tyrannical, lashing out at her for no reason. I felt the effects that had on our family." [PageSix]
• "To anyone who has a dream I say follow that dream. You are never too old. It is never too late. And dreams can become a reality."-Susan Boyle [People]

• Chris Brown whined to Vibe about how Oprah Winfrey treated him after he assaulted Rihanna saying, "I didn't get a call from them or anything. I felt embarrassed, but at the same time I felt stabbed in the back."

• He continues: "Ok, Oprah you have so much power and people really listen to what you say. You don't know anything that went down and you jump to conclusions and start bringing people on the set that have no similarities to me other than a domestic dispute. And then compare them to me when she's around me and knows me. She could have called me and been like, 'Chris, let me get you on my show and I'm going to do this kind of segment.'" As for BET: "The BET Awards was horrible. I was watching it, holding my face like, ‘Oh my God this is wack'... They were so bent on not getting me there that they messed up their own show." The new issue, which mark's Vibe's relaunch, features Chris on one cover and Drake (who was linked to Rihanna in May) on the other. And to answer Chris's question, yes, we "r still down" about domestic violence. [BET]
• Tiger Woods' wife Elin Nordegren has moved out of their home, according to nosy neighbors. Sources say she's living nearby, but Tiger and his reps are keeping her move secret and trying to convince her to move back into their house. [Radar Online]
• Sources say Tiger Woods continued pursuing Rachel Uchitel after his Thanksgiving weekend car crash, texting her repeatedly and telling her he wanted to find a way to see her. [TMZ]
• A source claims Tiger Woods hasn't appeared in public recently because Elin Nordegren broke his tooth. "Elin confronted him about texting Rachel Uchitel and flew into a rage," said the source. "She apparently threw the phone at his mouth and broke one of his teeth... Elin then grabbed a golf club and chased him around the house, doing tens of thousands of dollars in damage. He ran out to the car barefoot to get away from her and was in such a state of panic that he crashed." [Star]
• Reports that Tiger Woods' mother-in-law Barbro Holmberg was at the scene of the crash are untrue. She just arrived in the U.S. this weekend. [TMZ]
• A source says when Tiger Woods was taken to the hospital after the crash, he had to be admitted directly to the intensive care unit so he could be intubated and have his breathing stabilized. Though his neighbor reported that he was asleep and snoring on his lawn, a source says "that was the sound of an airway that wasn't stable." [MSNBC]
• According to new documents, the Florida Highway Patrol wanted to do a blood test on Tiger Woods because a "witness" (probably Elin), "stated that the driver had consumed alcohol earlier in the day and the same witness removed the driver from the vehicle after the collision." The request was denied and the police determined alcohol wasn't a factor. [TMZ]
• Lindsay Davenport, who is a friend of Tiger Woods and Elin Nordegren, says the media's "insinuation that [Elin] would be aggressive or attacking is just preposterous. ... She always handles herself with class." [ET]
• Tiger Woods posted another apology on his website today — to his sponsors, not his wife. He wrote: "As the final round of the Chevron World Challenge begins, I would like to extend my heartfelt thank you to everyone affiliated with the event, especially our amazing title sponsor, Chevron." [TMZ]
• BREAKING: Tiger Woods and Elin Nordegren had a meeting yesterday with a man wearing a suit. [TMZ]
• Ashley Dupre, the former escort who slept with former New York Governor Eliot Spitzer, weighed in on the Tiger Woods scandal for no apparent reason. She says of the women coming forward about their affairs with Tiger, "I don't agree with that they're doing. I don't agree with coming forward," but adds, "When you sleep with a married man... first of all, you're only helping them stay married." [Extra]
• Mindy Lawton, one of Tiger Woods alleged mistresses, was charged with felony DWI in January for rear ending a car that hit another car and failing a sobriety test. [TMZ]
• According to this guide in People, Tiger Woods may have as many as 12 mistresses, including porn star Holly Sampson, an "Anonymous Florida Cougar," and "Trailer Trash Orlando Neighbor." Okay. [People]
• Yes, it can get worse: One of Tiger Woods' mistresses contacted Playgirl with an offer to sell pictures of his penis that she took on her cell phone. [Perez Hilton]
• Michelle Duggar, who is pregnant with her 19th child, was rushed to the hospital this weekend. "Michelle Duggar was admitted to an Arkansas hospital due to gallbladder issues," says a TLC rep. "The pain from a gallstone was generating some contractions... Though there were some fears that the baby was in trouble initially, it soon was discovered to be solely the gallstone causing the discomfort. Michelle is resting comfortably, and the baby is doing fine." [People]
• Alexa Ray Joel is doing better after being hospitalized for a suicide attempt or "reaction to herbal medication." Her rep says, "She is feeling much better. She is with her family and looking forward to getting back on track... I want to thank everyone for their outpouring of love and support." [People]
• Pete Doherty was arrested outside a bar in Germany for throwing a pint glass at a parked car, smashing the back window. The bartender said: "He was drinking shots and constantly asking where to get cocaine." [Ireland Online]
• Russell Brand says Katy Perry has helped him settle down. "It was a deep craving within me – I mistook it for lust," he said. "I thought I was promiscuous, but it turns out I was just thorough – to get the right one. I'm ever so happy." As for marriage, he said, "I don't know, get married, you say? That would be good, isn't it? I want to have children – that would be good." [People]
• Though Nas admitted he'd been smoking weed and failed several sobriety tests when he was pulled over for DUI in September he says, "You know what it is ... profiling man ... but you, they can't stop a good man from shining, man." [TMZ]
• Heidi Androl of The Apprentice was pulled over for DUI around 3 a.m. because someone called the police to report that she was driving only 35 on the California Freeway. She performed "poorly" on several field sobriety tests. [TMZ]
• Chaz Bono and his girlfriend Jennifer Elia bought children's books at Kitson for Kids this weekend, so Jennifer must be pregnant. [Perez Hilton]
• Andrew McCarthy is going to direct an episode of Gossip Girl in the spring. He says the show's stars are different from the Brat Pack because, "They are much more savvy than we were... We were just a bunch of dumb kids running around." [People]
• Eminem's new song "Elevator," Includes this line: "Sorry, Lance, Mr. Lambert, and Aiken ain't gonna make it/ They get so mad, when I call them both fake/ It's all these fucking voices in my head, I can't take it." It seems tame for him, but he pronounces "fake it's" as "faggots." Adam Lambert Tweeted: "Wow, Eminem mentioned me in a song?! I must be doing something right!? Even if he used the 'F word,'" Clay Aiken and Lance Bass haven't responded. [N.Y. Magazine]
• Sadie Frost says she doesn't know or care if Jude Law and Sienna Miller are back together: "I don't really know what the situation is, because it doesn't affect me. They're in the same circles, I'm sure they're friends, it's not my business to ask." [Telegraph]
• South Africans are mad that Jennifer Hudson has been cast as Winnie Madikizela-Mandela in an upcoming film instead of a native actress. In a press conference, the president of the Creative Workers Union of South Africa said, "We want to develop our own Hollywood, and yet we keep bringing in imports." [Times Online]
• A couple from Michigan was arrested for allegedly blackmailing John Stamos for $700,000 and threatening to release photos of Stamos from a 2004 party that would "hurt his reputation." [The Smoking Gun]
• According to an account posted on Weezer's website, their tour bus crashed early yesterday morning in upstate New York when the bus slid on black ice and dropped about 10 feet into a ditch. Rivers Cuomo cracked three ribs, but thankfully his wife and baby, who were also on the bus, were uninjured. [N.Y. Magazine]
• Al Pacino will play Shylock in Shakespeare in the Park's production of The Merchant of Venice this summer. He previously played Shylock in a 2004 film. [NYT]
• American Family Insurance has taken a cue from Domino's and pulled it's ads from the MTV show Jersey Shore. "After seeing this show over the weekend, had we known the content, we would not have placed our ads on this show," said a rep. [TMZ]
• Jennifer Aniston hosted a party for 100 friends and employees at her house on Sunday. "Jen loves Christmas, and her house was festively decorated with a huge tree, twinkling Christmas lights and fragrant flower arrangements," says a guest. [People]
• There was speculation that Morrissey cut short a concert in Las Vegas because he was offended by drunken audience member vomiting and brawling, but he cancelled a concert the next day because he had "blown out his voice." [Daily Express]
• Jenny McCarthy says she's excited that Jim Carrey's daughter Jane Carrey is expecting a baby. "I think he's going to make the world's best [grandfather] because he is so animated," said Jenny. "I also think I am going to rock as the grandma. I love her and I am excited about this baby." [People]
• Eddie Vedder and Jill McCormick, the mother of his two daughters, got engaged this weekend. [E!]
• Jenna Fischer announced that her wedding to Lee Kirk will take place next summer in L.A. "We just got our save the date cards in, and they're adorable – after many hours and many proofs later," Fischer says. "We're going to hold them until after the holidays before sending them out so they don't get lost in the holiday mail. They were fun to pick out and [it] was a very fun girlie experience to touch the paper." [People]
• Padma Lakshmi spoke about suffering from endometriosis at MIT, where researchers are developing new treatments for the illness. "I guard my privacy closely, and it seems contradictory when I'm standing here, talking about my period," she said. "But you always have to remember the greater goal. What's more important — my privacy, or the lives of women? I chose the latter." [Reuters]
• The Bonnie Hunt Show has been cancelled. [Perez Hilton]
• Brian Bonsall, who played Andy on Family Ties, was arrested this weekend for allegedly hitting his friend in the face with part of a bar stool. There was already a bench warrant out for his arrest from a 2007 assault charge. [TMZ]
• Michelle Rodriguez says working on Avatar was "like working on Star Wars — the first one. You know how now you watch Star Wars [Episode I in 1999] and you're like 'I could've rented or bought the video game then I'd be in control of what's happening' — because everything's so digital and it doesn't feel real. But you watch the first one [Episode IV in 1977] and I don't know how you feel, but I wonder, 'Why does this feel so much greater than the digitized world he [George Lucas] created now?' And I realize it's because of the props. And that's the kind of live-action world that [James Cameron] created." [L.A. Times]
• Glee's Mark Salling says, "I hate the mohawk... It was cool for a while, but I've had it for like a year, you know I'm kind of over it. I feel better when I don't have it." [People]
• Reese Witherspoon says she's forgiven British Prime Minister Gordon Brown for mistaking her for Renee Zellweger last week when she spoke to Parliament about domestic violence. Reese said: "She's lovely and she's short and blond and southern. So I understand! She actually called up a (mutual) friend of ours and said she'd heard about it (Brown's mistake) - it happens all the time. I have a dog and I took the dog to the vet, and they said, 'No no, we're waiting for Renee Zellweger's dog' and I said, 'Actually this is my dog.' Everybody gets us confused a lot. But there's worse people to be confused with other than a lovely actress!" [Daily Express]

• Unsolicited uterus update: Nicole Richie is in labor!

She has been admitted to the hospital to give birth to her second child with Joel Madden. Details to come. [ET]

• Spoilery secrets from Sex And The City 2: Gay wedding! And Jesus on Manolos, if Miley Cyrus is in the movie that has got to be one of the signs of the apocalypse. [MSNBC Scoop]
• Cops rushed to Halle Berry's house yesterday when someone tripped an alarm on the property by accident. [TMZ]
• Janet Jackson will open the MTV Video Music Awards with a musical tribute to her brother, Michael Jackson. [USA Today]
• It's been decided: Michael Jackson's three children will not enroll at the school Tito's kids attend; they will continue to be home schooled by the same tutors they had under Michael's supervision. [TMZ]
• "Various members of Michael Jackson's family tell TMZ they are already talking about lawyers who might rep them in a wrongful death lawsuit against Dr. Conrad Murray… In California, Jackson's immediate family could sue for the economic loss they have suffered by Jackson's death — e.g., the financial support Jackson could have provided had he lived. Here's the problem — Jackson's death may actually be an economic gain. It's already becoming clear Michael Jackson is more profitable in death than he was in the last years of his life." [TMZ]
• Emma Watson's first days at Brown University: Not going so great. The paparazzi shot her doing orientation activities, and a Twitter user wrote: "My dad made Emma Watson mad by taking a photo of her going inside the Financial Aid office at Brown. She was with her mom & boyfriend." And now: A CNN story! [CNN]
• Rihanna's dad: Not too thrilled about Rihanna topless (but wearing pasties) in Italian Vogue: "The photo was disturbing," he told Us Weekly. He was, however, amused by Chris Brown on Larry King Live: "The costume he wore was so funny. That bow tie thing. He needs to bury that." [MSNBC Scoop]
• Uh-oh. According to this column, even though a judge ordered Chris Brown and Rihanna to stay away from each other, they can't. A source says "They spoke to their lawyers to see what was allowed, and are now planning two weeks in Mexico." As always, consider the source on this. [MSNBC via Britain's Star]
• Tila Tequila's lawyer claims that Shawne Merriman's version of events is "spin." In a statement, Tila's rep says: "Fortunately, we as a society will not tolerate a 6'4", 270 pound all-pro NFL linebacker physically assaulting a young lady who is 4'11" and 93 pounds. It is never justifiable to brutally assault, choke, strike and imprison a woman." [TMZ]
• Shawne Merriman's ex-girlfriend says "he never laid a hand on me" and "it's out of his character" to lash out at a woman. [TMZ]
• Kate Hudson was spotted wearing a diamond band on THAT finger, so speculation is that it's a meaningful gift from A-Rod. [Gatecrasher]
• Amy Winehouse's dad caught his daughter in bed with none other than "druggie and former jailbird" Blake Fielder-Civil. Mitch Winehouse allegedly threatened to "punch his lights out." [The Sun]
• Brody Jenner met with cops yesterday to make a statement about the altercation between his girlfriend Jayde Nicole and Girls Gone Wild mastermind Joe Francis. [Radar Online]
• Antonio Banderas told Ellen that knee operations after a skiing accident required Melanie Griffith to use narcotics again, which is why she went to rehab. Antonio says: "In March, she came to me and said, 'I'm feeling a little bit weak in my determination for this ... so I just thought to go to rehabilitation by myself. So the whole entire family is supporting her, and I am supporting her, and at this particular time more than ever. I'm very proud of her." [People]
• Jay-Z will perform at Madison Square Garden on Friday at a special September 11 benefit concert, and tickets — originally priced at $55 — are being scalped for $200 to $3,000. Jay says he's "disheartened." [AP]
• Yoko Ono allegedly told Britain's Sky News channel that the entire Beatles' music catalog will be made available on iTunes; then the news item was removed. Is an announcement imminent? [MSNBC]
• This report claims that the Yoko/iTunes story is untrue. [CBS News]
• Kourtney Kardashian baby shower "secrets" at the link. [People]
• Kourtney Kardashian's baby daddy, Scott Disick, hangs out with Kevin Federline. [Page Six]
• Pamela Anderson has been dating this electrician/surfer for a while now, but People calls it a "new shocker." [People]
• Pam Anderson plays a scantily clad security guard who strips passengers of animal products in a new PETA ad, which the CNN Airport Network has deemed too racy, saying "children make up part of the demographic in airports." [Page Six]
• Simon Cowell is planning a massive, $400,000 party for his 50th birthday, with Elton John, Kevin Spacey, Denise Richards and Donald Trump attending. [MSNBC]
• Robert Rodriguez is taking over Austin, Texas as his new flick, Machete, starts filming. Look for Jessica Alba, Robert De Niro, Michelle Rodriguez and, yes, Lindsay Lohan. [Page Six]
• Lil Wayne's North American tour grossed about $42 million and drew nearly 804,000 fans, making it the highest grossing hip-hop outing of the year — and the most lucrative rap tour that Billboard has ever tracked. Plus, that kind of cash buys a lot of whatever Weezy drinks out of that styrofoam cup. [Reuters]
• Halle Berry is in talks to star in action-thriller Dark Tide. Penned by Amy Sorlie, the story concerns a diving instructor who returns to the deep after a near-fatal incident with a Great White shark. [Variety]
• Rapper Eve was in the VIP area of a club when she got hungry, so she asked for "something vegetarian, like grilled cheese or chicken fingers." [Page Six]
• Everything you never wanted to know about Sydney Andrews, the Melrose Place character played by Laura Leighton. [People]
• Laura Krafft — who once worked for Stephen Colbert — will head the writing team for Wanda Sykes' new show. [Page Six]
• Spandau Ballet: Making a comeback. [Daily Mail]
• "For a while I thought, well, maybe I just don't want to work any more, or work now, because nothing was appealing to me. It actually was a little nerve-racking. But I read this and I thought: 'Here's something.'" — Edie Falco on Nurse Jackie. [Sydney Morning Herald]
• "9/11 has been the pretext for the systematic dismantling of our Constitution and Bill of Rights… the official story behind 9/11 is a fraud" — Charlie Sheen. [Page Six]
• "The second time I had plastic surgery I got it done for free. People was covering it and I met a team of doctors that had a publicist who kept adding procedures. The guy who did my LASIK surgery wanted to do a 'tune-up' and now I've had five surgeries on my eye. I have partial blindness in one of my eyes, actually. It was very much like Nip/Tuck where they'd be like, 'Tell me what you don't like about yourself,' and then they'd draw all over you with markers to highlight your 'problem' areas. […] Besides, I actually have a theory that my original nose has grown back. I heard that your ears and nose continue to grow as you age so I think that I'm right back to where I started." — Kathy Griffin. [Time]
• "We never wanted to be parents, with all that entails: the loss of freedom, total dependency. I didn't have a work ethic for such a long time. Imagine if I had a child like me? I didn't start earning until I was 36. I'm the sort of person who has to check three times that I've shut the door, so I'd probably stare at a kid all day to check it was breathing." — Ricky Gervais on he and partner Jane Fallon's decision not to have children. [The Sun]
• "I'm not the kind of woman who waits a lot. [Laughs.] I take life as it is, and it just happened that my masseuse, Su-Man, asked me, 'Do you want to dance?' I was lying on the table having a massage, and I said, 'Yes.' Then I met with Akram, and they proposed, 'Do you want to do three days of trying something together?' But I never think of time, because when you're inside of your life, you don't think of time. It's a learning process with my body, and it's challenging, but I love it because it allows me to enter different worlds, spaces, and fears. I don't want to go to the same place. Otherwise, I'm bored." — Juliette Binoche, on In-I, a dance performance she choreographed with Akram Khan, in BAM's Next Wave Festival. [Village Voice]
• Q: Paparazzi get photos of celebrities doing pretty much everything, but they never seem to get pictures of stars after surgery. Why is that? A: Oh, there's a whole system you need to know about. First of all, the plastic surgeons in Beverly Hills all have secret celebrity doors. After the surgery, you leave the plastic surgeon's office covered in a sheet that's not unlike a burqa. Your assistant takes you to an upscale hotel where you hide in a dark room of shame until you're better. There are bandaged rich ladies walking around the hallways of the Four Seasons and the Peninsula in Beverly Hills right now. It's not unlike being a war criminal or a terrorist. — Kathy Griffin. [Time]

• Gossipeuse Janet Charlton claims Jennifer Hudson is knocked up. JHud is currently on tour; her fiancé, "Punk" from I Love New York, is training to become a professional wrestler. [Janet Charlton's Hollywood]

• Amy Winehouse's horribly burned leg is due to a scalding pasta water incident. They tried to make me cook fusilli… [The Sun]
• Rihanna went out clubbing in L.A. and danced and flirted with basketball star Baron Davis. Apparently the DJ said something like Chris Brown should get his ass kicked; the whole crowd cheered — Rihanna included. [Gatecrasher]
• Will Madonna bring Mercy home? Three judges on Malawi's Supreme Court of Appeal will decide on May 4. [The Sun]
• Michelle Rodriguez is a pretty awesome bridesmaid! She broke up a bachelorette party yelling that the stripper was "fat and had a small dick." Then when the dude wanted a lady from the bridal party to kneel for him, Michelle said: "That's bullshit. He should be kneeling for her; this is a bachelorette party." Next? "As the stripper began gyrating and pushing his crotch into the bride-to-be's face, Rodriguez yelled, 'This is the kind of thing that brings out the bisexual in me.' She left in a huff." [Page Six]
• Poor Ann Curry is being sent to both Iraq and Afghanistan war zones. Sarah Haskins was right; the Today show is trying to kill her. [AP]
• Lady GaGa has a new boyfriend and his name is Speedy. Of course. [In Touch]
• Jennifer Garner has been seeing a sex counselor, so she can learn to please her man. A source says: "Ben's great, but he can be very insecure. He likes Jen to play the devoted wife all the time." So Jen sees Dr. Holly Hein for tips of keeping the romance alive and dealing with Ben's "need for attention." "Jennifer doesn't want to lose him. She's in this for the long haul." [Star]
• Here's video of Jen Garner and Matthew McConaughey eating cupcakes while promoting Ghosts Of Girlfriends Past. Warning: It's incredibly dull. [E!]
• The mother and stepmother of Slumdog Millionaire star Rubina Ali had a "catfight" in the street yesterday. In Mumbai, India. And there are pictures in this UK paper. Seriously, what the hell is going on with this poor child? [The Sun]
• Now that singing sensation Susan Boyle is suddenly famous, she has purchased a new fence to surround her house and get some goddamn privacy. [The Sun]
• Susan Boyle's former singing teacher is worried the overnight sensation will damage her voice. [Telegraph]
• Simon Cowell on Susan Boyle: "It had been a long day in Scotland. We'd seen no talent at all. All I knew about her was a name on a sheet of paper. She came out and she looked a bit odd, and the dress looked odd. I gave her five seconds at most. But then she started singing, and within two seconds everything changed." [NY Times]
• Is Paula Abdul going to get up out of her judge's chair and perform on American Idol? She's been dropping hints! [LA Times]
• An "insider" says John "The Player" Mayer has been "recording in a studio and coming on to almost every woman in the vicinity." Plus! He "goes on and on… about how clingy and needy Jen is." Apparently The Player claims Jen Aniston was super emotionally dependent, which is maybe what an immature commitmentphobe might say, so who knows. [MSNBC]
• The US Army is on Twitter — clearly they have nothing better to do — and they want to knock Ashton Kutcher out of the top spot. We're still at war, right? [NY Daily News]
• There is "intense puppy-proofing" going on at the White House, thanks to Bo Obama. [NY Daily News]
• Girls, you know you better watch out: Lauryn Hill will headline the Stockholm Jazz Festival in July. [Yahoo News via AP]
• Debra Messing will be back at NBC with an untitled comedy; the plot? She'll play a laid-off CEO who "is as ill-prepared to be a full-time wife and mother as her husband is to provide for the family." Hilar! [Yahoo News via Reuters]
• A snapshot for the ages: M.I.A., Kanye West, Aziz Ansari and Zoe Kravitz. [The Life Files]
• David Blaine has worked his magic on French model Alizee Guinochet; they're engaged. [Page Six]
• How much would you pay to have lunch with Rosie O'Donnell and Star Jones? Proceeds go to charity… [Page Six]
• Oksana Pochepa, who still claims she is the mystery girl in Mel Gibson's life, keeps a sex diary "with ratings for all her men." This is a combo of slut-shaming and possible lies; kudos to the paper for keeping it classy! [The Sun]
• Perez Hilton went to Criss Angel's show in Las Vegas and Tweeted that it sucked; Criss Angel made and announcement from the stage, saying "We have the world's biggest douchebag asshole in the house!" Now Cirque production company has apologized to Perez but Criss Angel has not. And writing gossip about Perez makes the brain ache. [LVR, LA Times]
• Christian Bale and Mark Wahlberg will star in The Fighter, the tale of Boston boxer "Irish" Mickey Ward and his half-brother Dicky Eklund. [Variety]
• Russell Crowe was on Letterman talking about trying to save Steve Irwin's wildlife reserve — and block a mining operation — in Australia. [News.com.au]
• A lawsuit has been filed against Stephenie Meyer by a former friend who claims Meyer stole her vampire idea. But don't worry, Twihards, it won't halt production of New Moon. Sparkly vampires and Native American werewolves for everyone. [MSNBC Scoop]
• We've heard this before, but here it is again: Gossip Girl's Chace Crawford may replace Zac Efron in the Footloose remake. Possibly because he has the same sideswept haircut? [Mirror]
• This report claims Jessica Biel is so good at pole dancing in her new flick Powder Blue, she's a "natural born stripper." [NY Daily News]
• Amber Tamblyn says that since her new show The Unusuals is shot on location in New York, in between shoots, cast members hit local stores and shop: "No one goes back to their trailers." [Yahoo News via AP]
• Uh-oh: The president of Oprah Winfrey's cable network — due to launch next year — resigned yesterday. [LA Times]
• Woody Allen refused to take park in an "I Love New York" ad campaign, maybe because NYC has so many American Apparels? [NY Daily News]
• With lyrics about suffering and chains, the new Depeche Mode album is "like one long infommercial for B&D." But: "all this would seem creepy, instead of sexy, if the music weren't so hot." [NY Daily News]
• The Cure closed the Coachella festival, but organizers had to pull the plug on the band after 2 1/2 hours: "By the third encore, singer-guitarist Robert Smith informed the remaining audience that he was told he could do only one song but played three anyway. The final number, "Boys Don't Cry," turned into a sing-along as the video screen went dark and the sound system began to power down." [Reuters]
• Blind item: "Which rehabbed actor is back on the sauce? He just can't keep his hands off the booze when he's in L.A.!" [Gatecrasher]
• "You get the financing together and I'll work on the script... I would say [Elaine would] just be getting out of prison." — Julia Louis-Dreyfus on doing a Seinfeld movie. [Daily Express]
• "I most admire Matt Damon and Michael J Fox. I just saw Rounders and it just reminds me. Matt Damon is someone who I want to be. I just want to make his smart choices." — Zac Efron. [Mirror]
• "We definitely don't receive a $100,000 to show up at nightclubs anymore. So that's one huge life-changing difference. It makes me miss the old days, back when Paris Hilton and these fools were cashing in like a gold rush every year." — Spencer Pratt, on how the economy is affecting his life. [LAist]
• "Go to an area where the unemployment rate is the best. Go into a field that you love, but at the same time, that has potential. So many people study the wrong things, they go into the wrong fields, and no matter what they do, it's always going to be a battle throughout life. So find a great area, even if it means that you have to move your family. Find a great area, and a business that works." — Donald Trump's advice for those fired or laid-off. [Time] 
 

• "I lead such a boring life, nobody pays attention... and if somebody does take a picture, it's like I'm eating a burrito, in my sweats, and my mouth is open. It's just — I'm kind of a disgusting, boring person so nobody really pays attention!" — Anna Faris. [Mirror]
• "I don't want to get bored, and I don't want the audience to get bored." — Simon Cowell, on whether next season is his last on American Idol. [NY Times]
• "I had to say it as if it was coming to me very easily. I had to research some of [the words] because the acting coach I worked with told me if I really understood what I was talking about, it would come through a little more true." — Lauren Conrad, on her role on Family Guy, which required her to recite "a lot of facts and a lot of big words." [WaPo]

"I can't stand boys. A boy looks at me like he wants to bang me, and I wanna throw up. I like men, 'cause they've been around the block and they respect their mamis. It's hard to find one that's not machista."

"If I had done what the powers that be in Hollywood told me to do-‘Do a hot action movie playing the half-naked girlfriend, then do a Maxim cover [which Rodriguez has turned down in the past] and then start a music career to make yourself even hotter'- I'd be making $10 million per movie by now. If I would've followed that formula, kissing all the asses along the way, then I'd be there right now. But I wouldn't be happy because I wouldn't be living my truth."

More here.

• And then there were seven?!?! Angelina Jolie reportedly told one of the Slumdog kids that she is planning to adopt an Indian orphan. The papers will surely turn this into a race with Madonna. [Telegraph]

• So you know how Lindsay Lohan has a $115,000 Maserati but no job? Turns out a "porn king" loaned her the car, no strings attached. Uh-huh. Right. [TMZ]
• This UK paper is calling Madonna a "manipulator" who will "stop at nothing" to adopt a second child. They're saying she dressed conservatively for her court appointment, when she actually is way more wild, divorced and a Kabbalah enthusiast. Apparently Malawaians "take their Christianity seriously." Well, she did date Jesus! [Daily Mail]
• Hmm. Madonna wore a $2800 Chanel tracksuit while in Malawi. [Telegraph]
• The mark on Katie Holmes' back is indeed troubling. Scientology? Melanoma? [Perez]
• Countess Luann de Lesseps of Real Housewives has split with Count de Lesseps. He is "with an Ethiopian woman" now. Does this mean Luann is still a countess? Are any of the Housewives actual wives? So many questions. [Page Six]
• Meanwhile, Vicki Gunvalson of the California Real Housewives has been receiving death threats from an obsessed female fan who "takes the show way too seriously." [Yahoo via E!]
• The latest on Britney Spears is that while her dad was away, she hooked up with a backup dancer. His name is Glo, and she bought him some clothes and shoes. But now that her dad is back? "It's basically over," says a source. As you'll recall, the last time Brit picked up a backup dancer she got married and had two kids. [Gatecrasher]
• Halle Berry is "mentally ready" for more kids, FYI. [Mirror]
• "I'm not engaged. If she is engaged we have a problem." — Justin Timberlake on Jessica Biel. [The Star]
• Miley Cyrus says there won't be any more Hannah Montana movies. Also, she says if you're a young kid trying to decide between college or potential stardom: "Be a freak. Go to Hollywood." [Yahoo News via AP]
• The rumors that Rihanna is not cooperating with the D.A.'s office? Untrue. A rep for the D.A. says: "We have been in contact with her attorney, and he has always said she is a cooperating victim." [E!]
• Queen Latifah is being sued by a makeup artist and a fashion stylist, who claim she failed to pay them. At stake? $1 million. [Yahoo News via AP]
• ScarJo and RyRen went on a motorcycle ride. [Socialite Life]
• Drew Barrymore is back with Justin Long — in the movies, at least. He'll play her boyfriend in a romcom called Going The Distance, about what else? A long-distance relationship. [E!]
• Zac Efron dropped out of the Footloose remake, and now Gossip Girl's Chace Crawford is auditioning. Similarly pretty, but charismatic? Uh… [E!]
• Michelle Rodriguez will kick your ass if you try and snap her picture when she is not feeling well and sitting in a wheelchair at the Mexico City airport. [E!]
• Ben Affleck and Matt Damon are still friends, in case you were wondering. [People]
• When Jennifer Lopez arrived at LAX from Japan yesterday, Jenny from the block had 11 bags. [Daily Mail]
• Andie MacDowell, Mike Myers and Ed Westwick (!) took part in a kilt fashion show. Men in skirts! [The Star, Daily Mail]
• André 3000 was busted for going 109 mph in a 65 mph zone. He drives a Porshce? You'd think it would be a model T or something to match his plus-fours. [E!]
• Congrats to Alyson Hannigan, who had a baby girl — on her birthday. [ET]
• If instead of sparkly vampires, you like actual boodsuckers with fangs, take note: True Blood returns June 14. Season 2 photos at the link. [E!]
• Epic! Law & Order: SVU will be shooting at the U.N. [CNN]
• Star Trek hasn't yet hit theaters but they're already talking sequel. And Lost cocreator Damon Lindelof could be on board. [E!]
• The Karate Kid remake will be called Kung Fu Kid, says Jackie Chan. [EW]
• Friends, here is a picture of Sir Paul McCartney with his fly open. [Daily Mail]
• Friday Night Lights: Renewed for two more seasons. [EW]
• Blind item! "Which pretty young songbird is freaking out male paramours with her overly hairy tummy?" [Gatecrasher]
• "It doesn't mean no more musicals forever, but right now I had so much fun doing (new comedy film) 17 Again that I think that's the direction I want to head in." — Zac Efron, on why he pulled out of the Footloose remake. [The Star]
• "Max and I are really good friends. We were just too young. That's all it was. I still love the idea that we did it. I love the idea I can tell my kids one day about it and I know he does too. It just got really crazy. It was something that exploded. And then it ended. And now we're just back to being friends, which is so much better." — Peaches Geldof, 20, who doesn't regret her six-month marriage. [The Sun]
• "After this album and tour I have a brand new business I am setting up, but i can't say what it is yet. I am definitely considering quitting music." — Lily Allen. [This Is London]
• "If you've got a character, particularly on TV, you can watch him doing nothing if you like him. If you haven't got a great character, you could be delivering the greatest lines in the world, but who cares? There are stand-ups that just aren't likable. They can have the best lines in the world, but you go, (yawn) 'Yeah. Brilliant. Don't like you though.' Whereas, someone shambles out and they're a putz and they get their hands dirty and they tell you what a bad day they've had, you want to hug them. They don't say anything funny, they are funny." — Ricky Gervais. [Yahoo via AP]
• "I think they prerecord the backgrounds in the studio and maybe the backgrounds are a little lip-synced. But I think the solos are definitely live. Because these kids aren't dancers and they're trying to do choreography, that's why it happens … if it happens at all." — American Idol judge Randy Jackson, on the lip-sync controversy. [Gatecrasher]
• "Kissing him wasn't bad at all. Justin's a sweetheart, and the whole shoot felt very organic. It all flowed so well." — Ciara, on smooching Timberlake in her new video for "Sex Love Magic." [Gatecrasher]
• "We were going to a Mexican restaurant and he and I were the first ones in. We sat opposite each other. He looked at me. It was a look that wasn't sexual; it was almost evil. It was like rape except it wasn't sexual. I just burst into tears. I never forgave him for it. It was cruel. I think maybe he fell into what he does sometimes with women. He had no right to do that. I was helpless. I got mad at him, and I never talked to him again." — Cloris Leachman on Marlon Brando. [LA Times]

[London, March 19. Image via Getty.]

The Good:
Jamie Chung's filmy petals and no-nonsense accessories add up to one of my favorite looks of the admittedly young '09.


I'll just say it: I hate Jordana Brewster's shoes. But because the rest looks pretty and it's Friday, let's be generous!


I'll be sad when the 20's-style embroidery trend is over, as exemplified by Maya Stojan's frock.


I guess if anyone can pull off a square inch of fabric, it's Gal Gadot.


The Bad:
Whoever told Michelle Rodriguez that horizontal stripes and a strip of lace over the bust was a good idea must hate her very much.


When Paul Walker was on Popular, I thought he was sorta cute, in a pretty kind of way. Then someone said he looked like my brother and I got weirded out. Anyway, I hate the monochromatic thing. It's so community theatre Guys and Dolls meets '01 prom.


Bai Ling has been looking as prim as a Carmelite nun lately! Thank goodness it's ugly!


Do my eyes deceive me or...is Zulay Henao not wearing a shirt? Please tell me it's my eyes. Please?

[Images via Getty]

• New details on Rihanna: The warrant detailing the entire assault has been released, her family says she's changed her contact information, and her rep isn't denying that she and Chris are engaged.

• A search warrant affidavit based on "Robyn F."'s statements was filed to obtain cell phone records for Rihanna, Chris, and one of Rihanna's personal assistants. The report alleges that Chris beat Rihanna while driving and tried to push her out of his car. Rihanna called her assistant during the attack and pretended to tell her, "I am on my way home. Make sure the cops are there when I get there," but she got the assistant's voicemail. Chris said: "You just did the stupidest thing ever. I'm going to kill you." The report says he put her in a headlock and she almost lost consciousness. You can read the entire document here: [The Smoking Gun]
• Law enforcement sources say that on the night of the attack, Rihanna said Chris had been violent to her in the past and the attacks were getting more violent. [TMZ]
• The tabloid magazines are insisting that Rihanna and Chris are either married or engaged, and when her reps finally responded, this is what they said: "Sorry for the delayed response, but we aren't able to offer anything right now but will keep you in posted if that changes." Are they not in touch with Rihanna or is it possible that the story is true? [Perez Hilton]
• Rihanna's dad, Ronald Fenty, says that he and Rihanna's mother and brother can't reach her anymore because her phone numbers and email have been changed. He said of Chris Brown being charged: "Justice can never be served in this situation. He can't feel the pain she felt. I don't believe in hitting a woman. I hope everything works out better for them. I don't feel happy or sad. He's in the court's hands. Let justice prevail." [Us]
• Whoever runs Chris Brown's MySpace picked today to post a reminder to vote for Chris for the Kids Choice Awards. [MySpace]
• Jaime Lee Curtis wrote a post on the Huffington Post complaining about the New York Times story on President Obama going gray. "Give me a f-ing break," she writes. "Are we really so deluded ... that we are focusing even one inch of a column of this venerable institution, the New York Times as well as every other outlet, Huffpost included, on the president's hair color?" [The Huffington Post]
• A Beatles version of Rock Band is coming out in September. Instruments modeled after the ones uses by the band will be sold to go with the game. [AP]
• In this video from last night's David Letterman, U2 read the Top Ten List and The Edge goes off script and makes fun of Sting. [E!]
• Watch the new Wolverine trailer, with many gratuitous shots of a shirtless Hugh Jackman here: [Perez Hilton]
• Former Monkees guitarist Peter Tork has been diagnosed with a rare form of cancer in his tounge. He has Adenoid Cystic Carcinoma, a cancer of the head and neck, but says his prognosis is good. [The Daily Mail]
• Miley Cyrus's boyfriend, Justin Gaston, was once on the cover of an European teen magazine called Electric Youth! wearing a Speedo. [Perez Hilton]
• Julia Roberts was invited to be one of the former winners presenting awards at the Oscars but turned the Academy down. "My husband had been away and just returned home so I felt it best to stay home and welcome him and be with my family," she said. "That was my priority so we watched the show on television." [The Telegraph]
• Oprah is going to talk about her interview with Michelle Obama on Friday's show and share pictures. The interview will appear in the next issue of O Magazine. [Chicago Sun-Times]
• Robin Williams has postponed his comedy tour because he needs heart surgery. He's getting an aortic valve replacement and hopes to be able to work again in the fall. [TMZ]
• Politico has an "exclusive" interview with Brad Pitt in D.C. ... in which he doesn't say a word. [Politico]
• Dr. Laura is criticizing Kohl's on her blog for choosing Britney Spears to represent their brand Candie's. Kohl's answered one of her reader's complaints, saying Brit "personifies the iconic ‘Candie's Girl:' flirty, self-confident, and stylish." Dr. Laura says, "How 'bout 'piggish, out of control, and irresponsible parent?'" [Dr. Laura Blog]
• Vince Vaughn is actually engaged to 29-year-old Calgary realtor Kyla Weber, according to her dad. [Montreal Gazette]
• Blake Lively says when Gossip Girl returns on March 17 Serena will have a new love interest and "You get to see a little bit of the economy reflected on our show. There's a bit of a Bernie Madoff-type thing happening." [USA Today]
• Adele is apologizing to Justin Timberlake because she was overwhelmed backstage at the Grammys and didn't realize it was him when he congratulated her. "Justin, I love you and I'm really sorry ... for making it seem like I didn't want to meet you," says Adele. "I really did – and I don't think we can ever be friends because you're just too much. You're too good!" [Peopel]
• In this video a paparazzi asks Michelle Rodriquez, "How's your community service going?" and she shoots back, "How's your dick sucking going brother?" [Jossip]
• You can watch the commercial Helen Hunt directed for Frito-Lay snack brand TrueNorth here: [Ad Week]
• D.L. Hughley Breaks the News will end its run this month. CNN says Hughley approached them about ending the show because he wants to move to L.A. [Media Bistro]
• Jerry Seinfeld, Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Jason Alexander, and Michael Richards will be featured on a multi-episode story arc on HBO's Curb Your Enthusiasm this fall. [Entertainment Weekly]
• [AP]
• On the set of The Burning Plain Mexican director Guillermo Arriaga's friend Adrian would teach Charlize Theron swear words in Spanish and have her repeat them to the director. Theron says: "Adrian was like 'Go to Guillermo and say... I can't remember now, and I would say it really loud and half the crew understood it!" [The Mirror]
• Taylor Swift says: "My friends and I took pride in the fact that we were the weirdest girls at our school. We never fit in with the cool girls because we didn't really care what people thought. We had so much fun goofing off and being being crazy. We would go out to dinner in our prom dress, accessorized with scarves, fingerless gloves and costume jewelry. Sometimes we'd draw a beauty mark on our faces, wear a tiara and funny slippers. We didn't care!" [Perez Hilton]
• Michael Caine is playing an old man forced to enter a nursing home in his new film Is Anybody There? He says: "I don't think of me as an old man ... I play a guy, 75, 76, and I tell myself, 'He is not you. He is him. He's very sick. He is getting dementia. And he has a much harder life than you have.' I always like to stretch myself and do films that interest me. I thought he was a wonderful old man. I really loved him." [USA Today]
• Roseanne Barr wrote another lengthy blog post about Rihanna and Chris Brown. She says that Rihanna is sending out the message through her publicity team that she provoked Chris so he's not to blame. "I just know from experience that this is how show business works to conceal and excuse domestic abuse," she says. "I also know from experience that it is common that the woman throws the first insult or punch. the big dirty secret is that violent men are with violent women and vice versa. They continue to stay together so they can continue to be violent, break up and then make up, involving all their families and their friends in the whole sick and stinking charade. They both need to go to jail, if in fact she did hit him or terrorize him psychologically. I lived through this crap, and I know how it goes." [The Life Files]

• Amy Winehouse is doing fine, says her spokesman, whom she pays to say such things. Despite tabloid rumors, she is not on a suicide watch. [People]
• Also, Amy's mom says Amy is a good influence on her goddaughter, Dionne, who wants to be a singer. [Daily Express]
• Jimmy Kimmel and Sarah Silverman: Back on. [People]
• Michelle Rodriguez was staying at a fancy hotel in Coconut Grove, FL but she must have had a fight with the ladyfriend she was traveling with: Guests heard two women yelling at 9am Sunday morning and one saw Michelle in the hallway, banging on the door, hollering, "If you don't open up, you're not getting your [pleasure toy] back." Then the door creaked open. [Rush & Molloy]
• Nick Nolte suffered smoke inhalation and abrasions during a fire at his home in Malibu. The blaze seems to have started in the bedroom due to an electrical problem, and when firefighters arrived Nolte was trying to put it out himself with a garden hose. [UPI, AP]

• Travis Barker is still in a burn center in an L.A. hospital. His condition has been "up and down." [E!]
• Travis tells Us Weekly: "I hate planes. My biggest fear ever is to be involved in a plane crash, so when that happened… well, I'm just thankful to be alive! I'm just grateful to be here at all. I am doing the best I can possibly be. I'm so anxious to get out of here. I've just been in surgery after surgery. I have third-degree burns basically from my feet up to my waist and both hands. One of my hands has second-degree burns and one has third-degree burns. I'm trying to have a quick recovery and play the drums again and be able to hold my kids again." [AP]
• Britney Spears may have to go to trial over driving without a valid license. This case stems from an August 2007 charge after she hit a parked car and left the scene. [USA Today]
• Jennifer Lopez and Leah Remini were attached at the hip at the Elle Women In Hollywood event: They even held hands when they went to the bathroom together. And yeah, Leah is a Scientologist. [E!]
• Natalie Portman has discovered microloans through Queen Rania of Jordan and says she's learning to curb her "accumulation mentality." When "you meet people who have one shirt," it makes you stop and think, Natalie says. "If I have 40 shirts, why would I ever buy anything more?" [Newser]
• It's official: Salma Hayek will be on 30 Rock, maybe shooting in the next few days. That show is the new Love Boat. [E!]
• Kanye West to Ellen: "You have really great style." [People]
• Ted Casablanca on Kanye and Ellen: "It's really refreshing to see a tough rapper so at home with the gay stuff." El oh el at "tough." [E!]
• Billy Ray Cyrus calls Miley's boyfriend, 20-year-old Justin Gaston, "a good kid." This was the one with the bible, you'll recall. [People]
• Meanwhile, a Hannah Montana co-creator is suing Disney over a percentage of the profits from licensed merchandise. Up against The Mouse in court? Good luck! [Perez Hilton]
• Penn Badgley, aka Dan Humphrey from Gossip Girl, has a crush on Parker Posey. [NY Mag]
• Josh Kelley is "always trying to impress" Katherine Heigl, if you care. [People]
• Eva Longoria will be a guest judge on Project Runway, not that we know when it will ever come back. [ONTD]
• Paris Hilton gets presidential advice from fake prez Matin Sheen. [Funny Or Die]
• Madonna wore Clark Kent-style specs at her NYC concert, and this Brit tab accuses her of stealing them from Lourdes. [The Sun]
• Maggie Gyllenhaal will be shilling Duracell batteries by becoming the spokesperson for the Power A Smile campaign, in which young ambassadors to deliver gifts to patients in children's hospitals this holiday season. [BrandWeek]
• Speaking of Gyllenhaals: Maggie and Jake's parents are calling it quits after decades of marriage. Does anyone stay together? Ever? [Perez Hilton]
• Reese Witherspoon and Jake Gyllenhaal are reportedly househunting in London. Sigh. [Daily Express]
• Jamie Lynn Spears and her baby daddy Casey Aldridge are on the cover of OK! magazine with the cover line "I'm No Cheater." More on this in Midweek Madness… [Perez Hilton]
• Scarlett Johansson wears red white and blue on the kookily patriotic cover of CosmoGirl!. [PopSugar]
• Bad news for Eddie Izzard fans: The Riches has been canceled. [UPI]
• Could The View win an Emmy if Elisabeth Hasselbeck left? [LA Times]
• Janet Jackson may or may not have vertigo. [Perez Hilton]
• Lily Allen may have a new man, since she was photographed in the vicinity of some random dude. [The Sun]
• The Iranian actress in Leo DiCaprio's new flick, Body Of Lies says: "I had a lot of problems because of this movie. (Iranian officials) took my passport. The intelligence service interrogated me several times. In the end, the judge said, 'We have to see the movie and then decide what we're going to do with you.'" She is afraid to go home to Iran and is living in France with her husband since the incident. [Daily Express]
• Whee! Slash action figure! [UPI]
• There's a picture of Paul McCartney in a McDonald's in Liverpool, but he's been a vegetarian for 30 years. Sir Paul is pissed. [The Sun]
• A bouncer asked Stephen Dorff to smoke outside and he yelled, "Do you want a piece of me? You don’t know who you’re messing with." Yeah, probably not. You're an actor, right? [The Sun]
• A post-divorce Bill Murray is looking for renewal. He says when his ex-wife filed papers alleging that he abused her and was addicted to alcohol and marijuana, "That was devastating. That was the worst thing that ever happened to me in my entire life." [AP]
• The new Bond girl was born with six fingers on each hand. [Newser]
• Dancing With The Stars' Derek Hough is living with girlfriend Shannon Elizabeth — as is his entire band. [People]
• Love, LOVE this artwork for Cadillac Record, starring Adrien Brody, Jeffrey Wright and Beyoncé. [Concrete Loop]
• Things you never wanted to know about Rob Lowe's nanny: She allegedly only dates black guys because of their cocks. She bragged that her boyfriend's penis was "the second largest black cock in the NBA.'" [TMZ]
• Brody Jenner has found "the one" and she is a 22-year-old Playmate named Jayde Nicole, of course. [Perez Hilton]
• "I'm not the ... pervert that I've been painted to be." Peter Cook, Christie Brinkley's ex, to Barbara Walters in an interview that will air Friday on ABC's 20/20. [People]
• "[Society wants women] on anti-depressants so they are no longer creative or fierce. They dull your rage. People don't like angry women so they say, 'We're going to have to drug that bitch to get her to shut up. We will humiliate her and disenfranchise her, but first she has to shut up.'" — Roseanne Barr. [Guardian]
• "She calls herself feminist but she's not. She's a careerist. I had a time in my life too when I didn't stay at home with my kids because I was on a bigger mission. She'll pay for it later though. She'll get her karma… In the 60s we used to say if a woman ruled the world there would be no war. But that's not right. What we mean is a thinking, conscious woman, and there's no place for any of us in this world. To make it in a man's world takes a certain kind of woman. Sarah Palin is the kind of woman they want right now." — Roseanne Barr. [Guardian]
• "By denying the responsibility of man in global warming, by advocating gun rights and making statements that are disconcertingly stupid, you are a disgrace to women and you alone represent a terrible threat, a true environmental catastrophe." — Brigitte Bardot, in a letter to Sarah Palin and John McCain. [Yahoo News]
• "In my opinion, Stephen King is without question our greatest writer. No one tells a better story than Stephen… I set out to write a good story with The Notebook, one that would sell 10 million copies and make me rich… and I did." — Nicholas Sparks. [Page Six]
• "Posh doesn't strike me as particularly stylish. I don't think she's a good example of British style at all." — Mischa Barton. [The Sun]
• "I won't respond to that. That doesn't even deserve the dignity of a response. I don't know the details of that. It is absolutely ridiculous… This from the Guardian? I don't believe it! It is insulting that you would even bring it up! My God… I turned down the Mail to do this!" —Faye Dunaway, on the rumor that she threw a cup of urine in Roman Polanski's face when the director refused to allow bathroom breaks on the set of Chinatown. [Guardian, via NY Mag]

[Milan, July 27. Image via INFDaily]

[Hollywood, April 28. Image via x17.]

• 32-year-old Mark Ronson is dating "underwear model" Daisy Lowe — the 18-year-old daughter of Gavin Rossdale. Pout. [The Sun]
  
• Joe Simpson is offering the tabloids a $1 million photo/interview deal for engaged and pregnant daughter Ashlee — but the mags are like: Hahaha! No. [Page Six]
  
• As reported yesterday, Naomi Campbell erroneously believes British Airways actually wants her to fly with them again. [Page Six]
  
• Arrested Development funnyman David Cross, 43 and Joan of Arcadia star Amber Tamblyn, 24: Seen making out. [Page Six]
  
• The casting for Paris Hilton's reality show in which she looks for a new best friend is not going so well. Not that you give a shit. [MSNBC]

• Yesterday was Blake Fielder-Civil's birthday, but it seems wife Amy Winehouse didn't visit him, hmmm... [The Sun]
• Psst! Pseudo-spoiler! Someone dies in the Sex And The City Movie. [Page Six]
• Blind item! "Which celebrity stylist has been banned by Louis Vuitton because its stuff has a habit of not coming back from her shoots? She also had that full-figured star of a hit TV comedy leave the set in tears after telling her, 'Ugh, I can't believe you don't fit into that!'" [Gatecrasher]
• Sources say Rob Lowe's nanny is a flirt who likes older men. [TMZ]
• Uh, the nanny did a shoot for People magazine, btw. [TMZ]
• The nanny's lawyer, Gloria Allred, says it's because the nanny (Jessica Gibson) "has nothing to hide." [People]
• The restraining order against leechy Sam Lufti has been extended: He's agreed to stay away from Britney Spears through July. [TMZ]
• Britney's been taking voice lessons? And spending time in the studio "just for fun"? WTF? [E!]
• Cameron Diaz says her father, Emilio Diaz, who passed away on Tuesday, "was loved by so many people, and his humor and spirit will always live on in our hearts." [People]
• Daniel Craig's James Bond is the "first metrosexual Bond," says an insider. "As well as fake tan, bronzer, eye cream, cleanser, toner and moisturizer, Daniel's been having regular manicures." As long as he's hot and suave, who cares? Leave the man alone! [Mirror]
• Lost actress Michelle Rodriguez is annoyed that people are curious whether or not she's gay. As for the bloggers who write about it: "I picture them turning into pigs, slime coming out the side of their mouth, and I picture them jerking off. I don't answer those questions. I just keep it to myself and it's nobody's business. If I wanna fuck a girl, a boy, a dog, that's my business. That's why there's bathroom doors. What the majority of (people) want to know is what I'm doing with my vagina, and I think that that's sick. What do you care who I'm dating? I can tell when somebody just wants to know about sex. And it makes me sick." Touchy, touchy! [Mirror]
• Kylie Minogue thinks about having a hubs and kids but says, "Other days, I think perhaps this is not right for me. I never had the feeling of a conventional marriage." [The Sun]
• Barbra Streisand has given $5 million to Cedars-Sinai to fund research and education for women's heart disease. [Yahoo News]
• Kate Moss and Jamie Hince are "very very happy," says Kate's friend Sadie Frost. Good to know. [People]
• An Austrian woman is wanted by authorities for failing to appear in court on charges of stalking and threatening to kill CSI: Miami star David Caruso. Doesn't he seem too creepy to stalk? [Miami Herald]
• "I'm a huge fan of gays. They love me; I love them. They consider me kind of a gay icon, which they've labeled me as." — Tori Spelling. [Reuters]
• Wow, Chloe Sevigny's hair in Big Love does kind of look like the real Texas polygamists hair! [TMZ]

• Katherine Heigl got married! The Grey's star wed singer Josh Kelley in a tent at the Stein Eriksen Lodge decorated with white flowers and white candles in snow-covered Park City, Utah. It was "incredible and beautiful," says costar T.R. Knight. [People]
  
• Amy Winehouse has been banned from open visits to her husband in jail after he failed a drug test. She can now only see Blake Fielder-Civil with a bullet-proof glass window between them. Tip for the prison guards: We're pretty sure the stash is in her hive! [The Sun]
  
• The Christmas bash Tyra Banks threw for her show employees was "a modest party at a Lower East Side Dive," says a source. "Tyra arrived for a brief stop, looking like a million bucks, and said she was on her way to Italy." She announced a "surprise," which ended up being Santa, bearing McDonald's cheeseburgers. "Unhappy workers ended up drinking themselves senseless and brawling in the street. One needed an ambulance." [Page Six]

• Did Riley Giles tell a UK tabloid that Lindsay Lohan craves marathon banging? "She'd demand sex again and again. We'd go at it for hours," he supposedly tells News Of The World. Some chicks just can't resist a dude in a Wu Tang T-shirt. [Page Six]
• "I started working in a bagel store in the ninth grade, and early on the guy who owned the shop took me into his office and wanted to give me a full tutorial on how best to please a woman as I entered high school." — Ed Burns [Page Six]
• Look for New Year's Eve drama from The Hills: Lauren Conrad and Brody Jenner will both be at the Setai in Miami — and so will Kristin Cavallari. Stay tuned! [Page Six]
• After being called "Hairy-Kate" and "Trashley," the Olsen twins want to make peace with PETA. [Page Six]
• Blind item! "Which married Hollywood couple - she's an actress, he's a director - is on the rocks? The famously happy lovebirds are fighting constantly and are 'having problems.'" [Page Six]
• Gossip Girl's Serena and Dan: A couple in real life! [Gatecrasher]
• Blind item! "Which nanny for an A-list NYC showbiz couple, each of whom is famous, is sharing her suspicions that the husband is having an affair?" [Gatecrasher]
• Lost actress Michelle Rodriguez will spend Christmas in the slammer. She checked in to Lynwood Jail (the same one Paris Hilton was in!) yesterday and will be there for 180 days; she is serving for violating her probation. The smoke creature is surely to blame. [TMZ]
• Dr. Phil: "An asset Britney and Jamie Lynn both have is a great and dedicated mother." Hahaha, wait, what? [People]
• Dallas Cowboys quarterback Tony Romo had a great game Saturday, maybe because Jessica Simpson wasn't in the crowd... or was she? [People]
• Danielle Fishel, known as Topanga on Boy Meets World and Lance Bass' ex-girlfriend, was arrested for drunk driving in L.A. late last week. She's also a correspondent on Tyra. What will Miss Banks say? Related: Pretty soon everyone in Hollywood will be in jail. [CNN]

• Go ahead and file this under things you hate yourself for wanting to know more about: Kimora Lee Simmons wants another baby — and she wants boyfriend Djimon Hounsou to be the daddy. Seems like they spent the weekend in Antigua uh, trying. [Page Six]
  
• Click! Joaquin Phoenix hung up on a reporter from Time Out New York when she asked him how he prepared for his role as a druggy club owner in We Own The Night. [Page Six]
  
• Lindsay Lohan wants to move to Utah, partly to be with her new boyfriend, snowboarder Riley Giles. [Gatecrasher]
  
• Pamela Anderson: Pregnant with Rick Salomon's baby? [Gatecrasher, 3rd from bottom]

• Blind item! "Which light-footed contestant on a celebrity TV challenge was so nervous before going on that he actually tossed his cookies backstage, in front of the other celebs?" [TMZ]
• Lost actress Michelle Rodriguez will serve 180 days (that's six months!) in jail for her DUI, probation violation and hit and run. [TMZ]
• Bobby Brown is in "great spirits" after having a mild heart attack Tuesday and hopes to perform this weekend, which is his prerogative. [People]
• Oh, except, according to Bobby, he didn't have a heart attack. He "went in for a check up." [ABC News]
• Christopher "Big Black" Boykin of MTV's Rob & Big is going to be a dad! His unnamed baby mama is due in February. [People]
• Kid Rock: "Getting married is the most fun you can have in life. Being married sucks." [People]
• Madonna's deal to leave her record label has almost been finalized. She's entering an agreement with concert promoter Live Nation for more than $100 million. [NY Times]
• Sir Paul McCartney and Heather Mills were in court finalizing the terms of their separation, which could be the most costly in British legal history. Paul has offered £20 million, but Heather wants more like £50 million, and sources say since he is worth £825 million, he may have to pay £70 million. We'd be happy with £1 million. Seriously. Uh, how much is that in dollars? [Telegraph]
• Eva Longoria wants to have a baby, but if she gets knocked up it will destroy the plotline of Desperate Housewives. The show's creator Marc Cherry has "forbidden" her to get pregnant. Can he do that? [Mirror]
• Amy Winehouse "flew into a jealous rage" when she thought husband Blake Fielder-Civil was flirting with supermodel Lily Cole. The couple were heard screaming at each other for 20 minutes in a toilet stall and the marriage is reportedly "hanging by a thread." [Mirror]
• Samantha Ronson has sued Perez Hilton for repeating a report claiming that she planted cocaine in Lindsay Lohan's car. The judge couldn't find evidence of malice, and the case could be dismissed today. [Yahoo News]

[July 24, Los Angeles "hotspot" Guy's. Image via Splash.]

[Los Angeles, July 11. Image via Flynet]

Community-servicer Michelle Rodriguez says she plans to "make giving back sexy and fuckable." Sorry, hon, but Angelina Jolie beat you to it already.

Everyone we know is talking about this clip from the Tyra Banks show. What they don't know is that earlier in the same episode, Tyra popped an audience member's cystic, pus-filled pimple. On camera. In close-up.

What's next, a bull-dyke haircut? Not content with dumping her husband and losing a reported 10 pounds, Reese Witherspoon fires her agent.

Daily Candy continues to make groan-inducing sex jokes. Even so, we love this.

Central Connecticut State University student and newly-minted douchebag John Petroski tells CNN "It wasn't my intention to make girls on campus cry."