[Washington, D.C., December 3. Image via Getty]

WASHINGTON - DECEMBER 03: U.S. first lady Michelle Obama greets children before she reads the story 'The Night Before Christmas' to them during the annual National Christmas Tree lighting ceremony at the Ellipse December 3, 2009 in Washington, DC. Lighting the National Christmas Tree is a yearly tradition for the President of the United State during the holiday season. (Photo by Alex Wong/Getty Images)

[Washington, D.C., December 2. Image via Getty]

US First Lady Michelle Obama (C) speaks in the Grand Foyer of the White House alongside members of the US Marine Corps and Toys for Tots President Retired Lieutenant General H.P. �Pete� Osman (R) as she thanks volunteers who decorated the White House for the Christmas holidays in Washington, DC, on December 2, 2009. AFP PHOTO / Saul LOEB (Photo credit should read SAUL LOEB/AFP/Getty Images)

• A French bankruptcy court has backed a plan that will cut 90% of Christian Lacroix's staff, and reduce the 22-year-old house to a licensing operation. [ToL]
• None other than Simon Doonan is decorating the White House for Christmas. [NYTimes]

• Speaking of the Obamas: Naeem Khan made not one but five dresses for Michelle Obama to consider for the state dinner last week. "It took 10 people three weeks to make the embroidery," says the Indian-born designer. The dresses were made in America, but the beading came from India. [W]
• The point of this story seems to be: Rihanna has changed her style remarkably since she started entertaining us with song. [CNN]
• Tiger Woods may still be wanted for questioning by the Florida Highway Patrol, but Nike is emphatically standing by their $40-million star. [WWD]
• Kate Hudson loved the costumes in her movie Nine, set in 1960s Italy like its progenitor, 8 1/2, because the period fabulousness reminded her of watching her mother get dressed as a little girl. [UPI]
• Catherine McNeil's Australian Vogue comeback cover is out. [Models.com]
• Hey, everyone! This week is the week that all the major department stores expect to magically start reducing their prices as one! To a modest 30-40% off. (Just don't call it collusion!) Net-A-Porter went 30-50% off yesterday, so that $4,000 dress might now be $2,500, with tax, and Saks is starting its up to 40% off sale Thursday; hold on till after Christmas for steeper cuts. Stores laid in around 20% less stock than last year, in hopes of avoiding last fall's rash of below-cost markdowns. It appears they've been successful. [WWD]
• "Whoever your mom is, people won't give you hundreds of thousands of dollars," says Vladimir Restoin Roitfeld, who was given $50,000 to mount his first art exhibition last February, and whose latest show, of Nicolas Pol's work, drew Jean-Paul Gaultier, Andre Balazs, Daphne Guinness, and, oh yeah, his mother Carine Roitfeld, to its opening. Young Vlad's secret? "We work extremely hard." [Bloomberg]
• For I-D's 30th anniversary spring issue, Nick Knight will photograph 100 portraits of different fashion stars featured in its pages over the years — live, in front of an audience. His studio will be open to the public as an exhibition until December 20, and people will be able to watch shoots with, say, Kate Moss or Naomi Campbell, through a two-way mirror. Or live on the Internet, at Knight's showstudio.com. There's nothing that strikes us as less tedious than watching a month-long editorial fashion shoot, but someone might be into it. [WWD]
• The Telegraph gets to the bottom of the mysteriously straight and non-neurotic fashion designer Giles Deacon. How come he's so successful, anyway? "Don't know. My parents weren't into fashion. I didn't have an eccentric granny who mixed lace mantillas with tweed. I never believe people who say that, anyway. 'Oh, my granny had great style.' I just like doing it and I enjoy working hard. I go to work at 10am and I'm still there at 8.30pm. We get the wine out then, but anyone who is successful and tells you they don't work hard is lying." [Telegraph]
• Olivier Theyskens has a book on the way! Olivier Theyskens: The Other Side Of The Picture is due out from Assouline in February. He also might be involved in a new "retail concept," but neither he nor the company involved would comment. [WWD]
• It's official: Bravo will begin airing the Kelly Cutrone reality television series we've all been waiting for, Kell On Earth, next February. As long as Ms. Cutrone keeps dropping f-bombs on live morning television, an audience for this shit is practically guaranteed. [UPI]
• Peaches Geldof, Photoshopped within an inch of her life, is in a second campaign for the UK underwear brand Ultimo. The dividends of just happening upon that News Of The World photographer starkers continue to accrue. [Telegraph]
• North Korean jeans made by a trio of Swedes who describe making contact with the communist regime as "like Facebook poking a country"? Is this a joke? [FWD]
• Inez and Vinoodh shot the spring Lanvin men's wear ads this weekend in Paris, and rumor is they totally pulled a Juergen and put themselves in the shot. [WWD]

He writes:

…Why has Disney brought out a black princess now? It's not as if the black population of the world has suddenly increased in size or spending power to attract its attention. No, it is sheer, commercial opportunism on the part of Disney.

And:

"…The high-profile nature of President Obama and his First Lady means that this princess is being launched against a heightened consumer awareness of the dreams of black people coming true and it will receive lots of press coverage."

Now, Mitchell is a professor at Cass Business School in London. So he's looking at this from a business perspective. But the concept of The Princess And The Frog — originally titled The Frog Princess — had been kicking around at Disney/Pixar since at least 2006. In fact, the decision to put Randy Newman in charge of the music of the film was made in November 2006; casting for voices started in December 2006. Barack Obama was sworn in as a Senator the previous year. It doesn't quite add up. Plus, Disney's first princess, Snow White, was "born" in 1937. So the question shouldn't be "why now" but "why so late?" Why, for an all-American movie company, does the black princess come after an Asian princess and a Middle Eastern princess?

Is Disney interested in making money? Clearly. But the company is also interested in telling interesting stories, and a fairy-tale set in America, with black characters, qualifies. Even more troubling is this, from Mitchell:

With the increasing rise of successful black American women - think Tina Turner strutting her stuff at 70, Whitney Houston's recent comeback, the Oprah phenomenon and now Michelle Obama all being seen as "princesses" in their different ways - the aspirations of black American women to transform themselves have never been higher.

Really? black American women aspire to "transform themselves"? From what? Into what? This man writes as though every black American woman is living a gangster life in a ghetto, dreaming of being Princess Michelle Obama. There are millions of successful black women in this country, with millions of different journeys. Ms. Obama is not the sole role model black women have. Plus, she is admired by women of all colors. And if any black woman "aspires" to "transform," what the hell do Tina Turner and Whitney Houston have to do with it?

Upon showing parts of this article to Anna, she declared over IM:

"Heightened consumer awareness of the dreams of black people" is the stupidest thing I've read in a long time.

I can't agree more. If you want to argue that black Americans are being covered more by the media, I'd say duh; our president — and his race for office — did call a lot of attention to "being black in America" and resulted in lots of articles about How Black People Live Today and Who Black People Really Are and What Black People Want. But consumer awareness of dreams? The black experience is not a monolith; not a product. Dreams vary, and ONE black Disney character doesn't — and isn't meant to — represent them all.

Don't worry, though, Mitchell expects that any excitement about black people will pass:

Tiana is likely to be a niche as opposed to a mass market product in the long term. So, just as black American first ladies have a finite period of office, so, too, will Tiana.

Look, admittedly I have not seen the film, but it's so dismissive to think of this project as "niche" because it's a black princess. Time will tell, of course, but it's upsetting to assume that mass-market = white. Was The Cosby Show niche? Is Oprah niche? Is Beyoncé niche? Is the wise Latina known as Dora The Explorer niche?

But you know, arguing about Mitchell's ridiculous essay is pointless, really — the man is OBVIOUSLY a little… off. To wit:

…Depending on how many hearts she wins over, someone is bound to make the connection between Princess Tiana and Princess Diana, which will resonate even more strongly with consumers and give the character an added dimension of stardom.

Yeah…no.

Disney Cashes In On Obama Era With Princess Tiana [Times Of London]

Earlier: 11 Cool Things From The Princess And The Frog
5 Possible Problems With The Princess And The Frog
How About An Animated Movie With A Female Lead Who Isn't A Princess?
About That Princess And The Frog Spoiler…
Disney's First Black Princess Is A Little Green
An Early Look At Characters From Disney's Black Princess Movie
Why Has It Taken So Long For Disney To Create A Black Princess?
The Princess And The Frog
Why Is Disney's First Black Princess Such A Challenge?

[Washington, D.C., November 28. Image via Getty.]

WASHINGTON - NOVEMBER 28: (AFP OUT) U.S. President Barack Obama speaks with his mother in law Marian Robinson (C) and wife first lady Michelle Obama (R) during a college basketball game at George Washington University November 28, 2009 in Washington, DC. President Barack Obama attended the game between George Washington University and Oregon State, which is coached by his brother in law Craig Robinson. (Photo by Brendan Smialowski/Getty Images)

[Washington, D.C., November 27. Image via Getty]

WASHINGTON - NOVEMBER 27: First lady Michelle Obama welcomes the White House Christmas Tree at the North Portico of the White House on November 27, 2009 in Washington, DC. The 18 and a half foot Douglas fir was donated by Eric and Gloria Sundback of Shepherdstown, West Virginia; the tree will stand in the Blue Room throughout the holidays. (Photo by Brendan Hoffman/Getty Images)

Take the flowers, for instance: NPR's Andrea Seabrook writes:

The first lady said every detail of the decorations has meaning. The flower arrangements of roses, hydrangea and sweet pea blossoms were meant to evoke the classic American garden, while the rich, plum colors paid homage to India's state bird, the Indian peacock.

The dinner was held in a tent on the South Lawn of the White House, and the walls were decorated with locally grown magnolia, ivy and nandina, meant to reflect the Obamas' dedication to sustainability.

Even the tent was not just for added space: "As we all know, in India some of life's most treasured moments are often celebrated under the cover of a beautiful tent. It's a little like tonight," President Obama said.

As for the protocol, Michelle Obama said: "Protocol is critical. Protocol — how you stand, how you sit, who walks where — all of that is really important." There's a certain way to have a state dinner! For instance: honor guards in full dress uniform from all branches of the United States armed forces will be dispatched for ceremonial duty at the White House. There's a receiving line, win which the president introduces the visiting head of state to all of the guests. There's a five course meal (last night, Indian Prime Minister Manmohan Singh had plenty of vegetarian options, although prawns were served; desserts included pumpkin pie tart, pear tatin with whipped cream and caramel sauce).

But while the First Lady was entertaining international guests, she was involved in some immigration issues — sort of: Her action figures by Jailbreak Toys — which, as we previously noted, do not come with sleeves — are being detained US Customs and Border Protection. You'd think she was connected enough to know someone who could help with that.

For First Lady, Protocol Critical For State Dinner [NPR]
Pomp, Protocol and a Party Tent [Reuters]
Free Michelle! [Time]
Related: White House Releases State Dinner Guest List [ WaPo]
Earlier: Michelle O. Doll Does Not Come With Sleeves
Warning: Do Not Read While Hungry

• Michelle Obama wore a sterling-silver sequined dress by Indian-born designer Naeem Khan to a state dinner in honor of India's prime minister. [USAToday]
• Desiree Rogers wore Comme des Garçons. Which makes this the most fashion-forward administration, ever. [Mrs. O]

• "I feel so happy to be a part of this historical event between the two countries where my heart lies," says Khan. [People]
• And Mrs. Obama has apparently ordered thigh-high leather boots from Robert Clergerie. [Telegraph]
• Daul Kim's recent video spots for the Chanel "Cocoon" bag line are still on the Chanel website. [Racked]
• Emma Watson went to a hockey game n New York with a Spanish rock star and YSL designer Stefano Pilati. This is, apparently, big news. [Elle UK]
• The mother of Catherine McNeil, the model who appeared in public in Sydney with cuts on her arms, says that her understanding is that McNeil fell down some stairs. (Her agency said the cuts were the result of a skateboarding injury.) Her mother also said that the loneliness and distance from her family of modeling often left her feeling "down." "She hasn't had it easy. She hasn't had much of a life. I never forced her into modeling, it was her decision, it was her choice," said McNeil's grandmother, who raised her. "But it's not as glamorous as it appears. There's a lot of pressure to maintain your looks and sometimes it gets her down." [News.com.au]
• Mounir Moufarrige says Lindsay Lohan isn't going anywhere: "Yes [she's staying on], she has a job to do." Her first collection as "artistic advisor" for Ungaro led to the label being dropped by major U.S. retailers like Neiman Marcus. (Moufarrige says the clothes are "selling well.") Even Emanuel Ungaro himself — who has not been involved in the running of his namesake company since 2001 — joined in the chorus of criticism, calling Lohan's work "a disaster." "Mr Ungaro has his views, he can keep them," said Moufarrige, tartly. [Reuters]
• Victoria Beckham is re-launching her denim collection. No longer will it be sold under the name dVb: she's opted for the more prosaic "Victoria Beckham Denim." Prices will start at £140. [Elle UK]
• Of course D&G publicist Ali Wise would be getting filmed for Tinsley Mortimer's reality television show. [NYDN]
• Adidas would like to move its production of NBA jerseys to Thailand, from a factory in upstate New York. Not if Chuck Schumer has anything to do with it! [AP]
• Meanwhile, Stefano Lattanzi's Manhattan store continues to sell $18,000 men's crocodile skin boots. Women's cost $25,000. Arnold Schwarzenneger is allegedly a fan. [NYDN]
• Refinery29's list of ten fashion catchphrases — from "smize" to André Leon Talley's "I look authori-taaay!" — is dead-on, perfect, the end. [Refinery29]
• Target has announced its first ever collaboration with a millinery designer. Next April, a line of hats by Eugenia Kim — who previously did a lower-priced line for Urban Outfitters — will go on sale at the retailer. A shoe collection by Cynthia Vincent will also hit the chain on the same date. [Stylelist]
• Don't hold your breath for such a collab with Michael Kors. "We don't need to," says the orange one. [Independent]
• Jimmy Choo's collection for H&M cost up to 45% more in Ireland than it did in England. H&M says the difference reflects "taxes and transportation costs" as well as currency fluctuations. [IrishTimes]
• Christian Restoin, longtime partner of Carine Restoin-Roitfeld, is teaming up with Current/Elliot's Serge Azria to relaunch Equipment shirts. [Elle UK]
• Irina Shabayeva, of Project Runway near-fame, designed a wedding dress for Kelly Ripa. Since Ripa eloped with her husband, she wore it on national television instead of to her wedding. [People]
• Fashion blogger Lindsay Ibarra, on fashion bloggers: "What has been a pertinent trend throughout the most popular fashion blogs is the sort of self-indulgent act of getting dressed up, striking an adorable pose and writing a few witty words about what you're wearing and what you did that day. While this is all well and good for the purposes of creative journaling, what is happening more and more is that these faces are starting to be considered the new voices in fashion. Sea of Shoes blogger Jane Aldridge recently designed a line of shoes for Urban Outfitters, Julia Frakes and Rumi Neely (of Bunny Bisous and Fashion Toast, respectively) have both been signed to Next and Tavi from Style Rookie has her own fan club of editors and stylists championing her as the next Diana Vreeland. What's interesting about fashion is that it is one of few industries where you need virtually no education to be a star. Dressing and presenting yourself well take the place of a diploma or experience and in some cases even dressing yourself badly works, too." [EvilMonito]
• J. Crew's quarterly results were so far above analysts' expectations that its share price rose 7% in after-hours trading. Same-store sales for the period rose 8% on last year, and revenue rose 14%, to $414 million. [Crain's]

[Washington, D.C., November 23. Image via Getty]

US President Barack Obama stands with First Lady Michelle Obama shortly before greeting Indian President Manmohan Singh and his wife Gursharan Kaur at the North Portico of the White House November 24, 2009, as the Obamas host thier first official State Dinner. AFP Photo/Nicholas Kamm (Photo credit should read NICHOLAS KAMM/AFP/Getty Images)

First of all, we suggest you refrain from searching. The picture that comes up is not of Michelle Obama. To put it bluntly: It's a picture of a monkey with earrings. But even more disturbing than the image itself is the fact that it shows up as the first picture on a major search engine.

Unfortunately, it doesn't seem like there is too much that Google can or will do. Last week, when the image first appeared on the search engine, they were able to remove the picture on the grounds that the website hosting the image was infected with malware. However, the image has been reposted on other websites that are virus-free and otherwise comply with Google's rules. It appears that the picture is the result of a Google bomb - an organized effort to change search results by linking repeatedly to a web page or image with certain key terms. Google has issued an apology. Sort of. Above the picture Google has used their adspace to run this message: "Sometimes our search results can be offensive. We agree. Read more." If you click on the link, you are directed to this message:

Sometimes Google search results from the Internet can include disturbing content, even from innocuous queries. We assure you that the views expressed by such sites are not in any way endorsed by Google.

Search engines are a reflection of the content and information that is available on the Internet. A site's ranking in Google's search results relies heavily on computer algorithms using thousands of factors to calculate a page's relevance to a given query.

The beliefs and preferences of those who work at Google, as well as the opinions of the general public, do not determine or impact our search results. Individual citizens and public interest groups do periodically urge us to remove particular links or otherwise adjust search results. Although Google reserves the right to address such requests individually, Google views the integrity of our search results as an extremely important priority. Accordingly, we do not remove a page from our search results simply because its content is unpopular or because we receive complaints concerning it. We will, however, remove pages from our results if we believe the page (or its site) violates our Webmaster Guidelines, if we believe we are required to do so by law, or at the request of the webmaster who is responsible for the page.

Google is sorry, but until the algorithms change, the picture will remain at the top of the image search.

Offensive Michelle Obama Image Returns, Google Buys Ad To Explain [Search Engine Land]
Google: Michelle Obama Pic Not Our Fault [CBS]
Google: An Explanation Of Our Search Results

[Washington, D.C, November 24. Image via The Official White House Photostream]

First Lady Michelle Obama meets with Mrs. Gursharan Kaur in the Yellow Oval Room of the White House, Nov. 24, 2009. (Official White House Photo by Samantha Appleton)

This official White House photograph is being made available only for publication by news organizations and/or for personal use printing by the subject(s) of the photograph. The photograph may not be manipulated in any way and may not be used in commercial or political materials, advertisements, emails, products, promotions that in any way suggests approval or endorsement of the President, the First Family, or the White House.

Michelle is a variant of Michael, which apparently means "Who is like God?" And while Michelles don't necessarily breathe life into clay, they can certainly take your breath away. My image of Michelle is stylish and classy — she's tall and cool and well-dressed and she wears really nice earrings. Her hair's usually in some kind of updo, and she knows how to pull off nude lipstick. But Michelle's also the kind of girl who looks great no matter what she wears. I think of Michelle as a really eighties name, and I think of its bearer as somehow looking glamorous even while wearing leg warmers and a pound of hairspray.

But enough about Michelle's looks — what's she like on the inside? This is a tougher question, because I think of Michelles as a little unknowable. They're the kind of girls might not get asked out a lot, because they don't come off as "approachable." When you go to their houses — maybe for a study session or a very polite birthday party with parents present — you discover that their bedrooms are perfectly clean and reveal almost nothing about their personalities. A pink bedspread, perhaps an old American Girl doll smiling wanly, but nothing that gives you a peek into Michelle's inner life. Michelle's a girl to be admired from afar, because so few manage to get close.

Michelle Obama, with her hula-hooping skills and willingness to get her hands dirty, is a bit more fun and down to earth than my image of Michelle. But she's got the elegance thing down. So does the ethereally beautiful Michelle Yeoh. And Michelle Williams, pretty private in the wake of Heath Ledger's death, seems a bit unknowable despite her sweet smile. But the true, quintessential Michelle is obviously Michelle Pfeiffer. With her cool, feline (figuratively and literally) beauty, she's the essence of stylish Michelleness. And despite her popularity, she's never really been America's sweetheart — she's not one of those celebrities we feel we know. Perhaps it's because her heyday came before the ubiquity of online gossip, but I'm betting it has something to do with her name.

Like Michelle Pfeiffer, the name Michelle was big in the eighties — but not as big as it was in the seventies, when it peaked at #4 in the nation. It's still doing okay, but at #103, its glory days are clearly over. Maybe uncertain times call for warmer, homier names — and with Michelle Obama's popularity reportedly falling, the trend might not reverse anytime soon. But this waning hipness is unlikely to tarnish Michelle's luster — she looks good in anything, including her name.

Michelle [Wikipedia]
Michelle [Baby Name Wizard]

Earlier: L Is For Lisa, Whose Looks Are Deceiving
K Is For Kate, Who Kicks Ass, Takes Names
J Is For Jennifer, The Vanilla Of Names
I Is For Isabel, Who's Snooty, But Earns It
H Is For Hillary, A Barrel Of Laughs
G Is For Grace - What's That Up Her Sleeve?
F Is For Francesca, And I Wish I Were Her
E Is For Emily, Who Seems Sweet (At First)
D Is For Danielle (Or Dani, Who's Apparently Kinda Judgey)
C Is For Courtney, Who's Too Cool For School
B is for Beth (And Barack! And Bandana!)
A Is For Anna: What My First Name Says About Me

[Alexandria, Virginia; November 18. Image via Getty]

US First Lady Michelle Obama hugs students while passing out fresh fruit to students during a visit to Hollin Meadows Elementary School on November 18, 2009 in Alexandria, Virginia. Obama was promoting the Healthier US Schools Challenge which focuses on three core principles: nutritious meals, nutrition education, and physical education. AFP PHOTO / Tim Sloan (Photo credit should read TIM SLOAN/AFP/Getty Images)

You'd think Rihanna's first cover since her assault at the hands of Chris Brown or the First Lady would be big enough "gets" to warrant their own covers, but instead they're just two of five different versions of the December issue.



Each features one of Glamour's "Women of the Year" and, while we're thrilled to see them recognized in a women's magazine, looking at their covers just highlights what's wrong with Glamour's real "women of the year" — the ones they choose to promote during the other 11 months of the year. The magazine's previous 2009 cover girls were: Britney Spears, Eva Longoria, Jennifer Connelly, Katie Holmes, Miley Cyrus, Renee Zellweger, Sandra Bullock, Taylor Swift, Jessica Simpson, Gwen Stefani, and Scarlett Johansson. That makes December even more special, since it's the only month that features a non-entertainer, a woman over 50, or a woman of color.

When editor Cindi Leive pledged to include more plus-size models in Glamour last month, she also said the magazine would show, "A continued commitment to showing a wide range of body types — and, of course, racial diversity — in our pages..." To illustrate that the mag has always been committed to diversity, Leive said "we've put Queen Latifah on the cover twice." That's true, but she didn't mention that you have to go back two years to find a woman of color on the magazine's cover: Mariah Carey was on the November 2007 cover and Queen Latifah shared the September 2007 cover with Claire Danes and Mariska Hargitay. We'd like to take this month's covers as signs that the magazine will be making good on its promise to feature more women of color, but considering we needed a publicist to point out the plus-size model in this month's issue, we're skeptical.

As for the contents of the magazine, it seems once Michelle Obama agreed to be on the cover Glamour's editors had their own version of that frantic houseclean you do when your family visits for the holidays. The magazine is purged of most of the dirtier sex articles, since you can't have a line like "25 Naked Truths About Guys' Bodies" written next to the First Lady's head. Katie Couric, however, did manage to coax some (classy) dating advice out of Obama at the end of her interview about health care and vegetable gardens. Ms. Obama says:

Cute's good, but cute only lasts for so long, and then it's, Who are you as a person? That's the advice I would give to women: Look at the heart. Look at the soul. Look at how the guy treats his mother and what he says about women. How he acts with children he doesn't know. And, more important, how does he treat you? When you're dating a man you should always feel good. You should never feel less than. You should never doubt yourself. You shouldn't be in a relationship with somebody who doesn't make you completely happy and make you feel whole.

That's advice we'd like to see repeated in every women's magazine, especially if it could reach women in a situation similar to Rihanna's. Though most of Rihanna's interview is about her career, she addresses the fall out from her abusive relationship with Chris Brown being made public saying:

Domestic violence is a big secret... It's one of the things we [women] will hide, because it's embarrassing. My story was broadcast all over the world for people to see, and they have followed every step of my recovery. The positive thing that has come out of my situation is that people can learn from that. I want to give as much insight as I can to young women , because I feel like I represent a voice that isn't heard. Now I can help speak for those women.

It's a little more meaty than most celebrity profiles, but unfortunately, Glamour ends by asking Rihanna about the really important question on everyone's mind: if she's already thinking about finding love again and having lots of babies.

(Click image to enlarge.)

Earlier: Glamour's "Big" Issue: Plus-Size Models, Plus-Size Problems
Spot The Plus-Size Model In Glamour

[Denver, November 16. Image via Getty]

DENVER - NOVEMBER 16: First Lady Michelle Obama speaks with students at South High School while student body president and junior ROTC member Linda Jimenez, 17 (R) looks on November 16, 2009 in Denver, Colorado. She planned to share personal stories, discuss her career and answer student questions during the visit. The trip was part of the White House leadership and mentoring initiative, designed to put students in touch with older people who can serve as their mentors. (Photo by John Moore/Getty Images)

[Washington, D.C., November 13. Image via Getty.]

US First Lady Michelle Obama delivers remarks at an event on the difficulties older women face in the health insurance market in the East Room of the White House in Washington,DC on November 13, 2009. AFP PHOTO/Nicholas KAMM (Photo credit should read NICHOLAS KAMM/AFP/Getty Images)

[Arlington, November 11. Image via Getty]

ARLINGTON, VA - NOVEMBER 11: First lady Michelle Obama stands with Nancy Horst, wife of Brig. Gen. Karl Horst, during the wreath-laying ceremony at the Tomb of the Unknowns on Veterans Day at Arlington National Cemetery November 11, 2009 in Arlington, Virginia. U.S. President Barack Obama delivered remarks at the cemetery amphitheater after laying the wreath. (Photo by Chip Somodevilla/Getty Images)

According to Kotzin, the practice is surprisingly common — many of her coevals and some older friends have been "young-lady-ed." She complains that "those two words dispel all illusion of glamour. I'm reduced to being a little old lady with or without tennis shoes." Of course, searching for "young lady" on Getty Images yields a bunch of photos of Michelle Obama hula-hooping, which, while not strictly glamorous, is certainly awesome. Still, Kotzin has a legitimate point. She writes,

I find an implied hierarchy in the phrase, with the person wielding it assuming the power. It diminishes dignity in a way that's related to - though without the intended insult or attendant historic hatreds and violence - in calling a man "boy."

"Young lady" may be meant to diminish, but it may also be a ham-handed attempt at flattery — perhaps its users want to imply that Kotzin looks like a fresh young thing. But calling someone young isn't necessarily a compliment, and as Kotzin points out, "young lady" just sounds like an old-fashioned reprimand to a child. So what's a good alternative?

Kotzin's piece made me realize that my attitude toward forms of address is actually pretty ageist. I absolutely loathe being called "ma'am." Partly this has to do with the fact that when I'm interacting with strangers, I'm frequently wearing my errand-running uniform of military jacket, ratty jeans, and Chucks, and "ma'am" just seems kind of incongruous — it cries out for a pantsuit and some low-heeled pumps. But part of it, too, is that "ma'am" makes me feel old. I don't have nearly the same visceral disgust for "miss," despite the fact that, if I think about it, it's actually less respectful. I can even deal with "honey," as long as it's from a woman — from a man it just sounds condescending.

I do think I need to get over my "ma'am" prejudice, but I also submit that there's no really great way to address a woman you don't know. Part of the problem is that so many such addresses are unwanted — for every nice guy letting me know I dropped something, there are another five with weird petitions or the suggestion that I, and every other woman walking by that particular corner, might like to marry them. I'm not sure that men's interactions with strangers are actually less unpleasant than mine, but I do prefer their terminology. I know a lot of guys who were excited when they got their first "sir," and I kind of wish that distinguished term were gender-neutral. But since that's unlikely to happen soon, I'm going to take a page from Star Trek's Kathryn Janeway, and try to get everyone to call me "Captain."

Young Lady [The Smart Set]