If Michele Bachmann's congressional career were a House of Cards-style political drama, it would probably last for about six, one-hour episodes, Bachmann would be played by a tyrannical muppet, and every scene that didn't include her would feature real actors engaged in some variation of the following conversation:
Head without a brain, Michele Bachmann, took to the floor of the House to warn American citizens that Obamacare is coming to murder us all. Hide your kids, hide your wife, because Obamacare is literally killing everyone around here. Literally.
Our favorite googly-eyed presidential failure and outrageously shitty person, Michele Bachmann, recently won WND's "Woman of the Year" award. But she won't be winning any financial prizes anytime soon, because her ex-staffers continue to come out of the woodwork with horror stories.
Five of Michele Bachmann's former staffers say she still hasn't paid them for their work, and not because she can't spare the relatively paltry $5,000 each — because they refuse to sign a shady nondisclosure agreement.
Every year, World Net Daily presents a lucky lady with a "Woman of the Year" award, based on her ability to "represent goodness, womanliness, perseverance and character." Oooh, womanliness. A trait of utmost importance, second only to "wears lipstick at all times."
Well, well, well, America. You're so much less awful than I thought. With horror stories of suppression and fuckery being whispered from Ohio to Florida, many nervous Obama voters braced for the worst yesterday, only to be rewarded with what basically amounts to the election equivalent of the pony they thought Santa…
Some call it the culmination of the American political process, others call it Bullshit Christmas Eve — however you swing it, tonight, we come to the end of the three ring binder circus that we call the election season (you know, barring excessive, obnoxious litigation. Which is likely). But while we were all…
Michele Bachmann might actually be the worst human being in the world.
Michele Bachmann has been one of the loudest, shoutiest shouters in favor of an amendment to the Minnesota state constitution that would define marriage as a legal union between one man and one woman. Unsurprisingly, Bachmann's gay stepsister Helen LaFave is displeased with the Congresswoman's foaming homophobic…
Today in pretty pretty princess news: A new survey out of UCLA found that female politicians with "stereotypical feminine facial features" are more likely to be Republicans than women with gender-ambiguous or masculine facial features. The more gender-atypical the woman, in fact, the more likely she is to vote…
After unseating herself from the cool Republicans' table earlier this month with accusations that Huma Abedin knew someone who knew someone who was friends with a guy who once heard that someone he sat next to at an Applebee's was involved with the Muslim Brotherhood, Michele Bachmann might very well lose her…
Remember that weird story about how Lindsay Lohan's mysterious "friends" were suspected of stealing a bunch of jewelry from some rando mansion party? Well, it turns out, police didn't suspect Lindsay's alleged "male friends" in the theft after all—they were sniffing after Lindsay herself. And after the victim found …
After Michele Bachmann accused Hillary Clinton aide Huma Abedin of having ties to the Muslim Brotherhood in an epistolary fit of paranoia and rapidly vanishing relevance, some more reasonable Republican lawmakers politely informed her that her xenophobia was showing. On Monday night, it was Hillary Clinton's turn to…
After Michele Bachmann used her position on the House Intelligence Committee to make baseless accusations about Huma Abedin (which ultimately ensured that Hillary Clinton's aide would receive death threats), the Minnesota congresswoman has become pretty much a political leper. Pretty much. She still has her defenders,…
Someone call Michele Bachmann and let her know that she's finally obtained the ranking of Asshole Eagle Scout. Huma Abedin — the Pakistani-American Hillary Clinton aide whom Bachmann and several other nuttier-than-a-fruitcake Congressmen alleged had close ties with the Muslim Brotherhood — has begun receiving death…
Last April, famously levelheaded and rational Minnesotan representative Michele Bachmann called Nancy Pelosi "pathetic" for accusing the GOP of waging war against women. "There is no war on women," Bachmann said. "There's never been a war on women." (Great! We guess our work on this here website is DONE.)
Michele Bachmann and America have had some pretty sexy times together. Remember when Michele Bachmann was running for President and she won the Iowa Straw Poll and everyone freaked out for a haysecond before they realized that she's about 8 players short of a baseball lineup, brain-wise? Remember how she gave that…
There was a time, before Sarah Palin sashayed onto the national political scene, that John McCain was considered a relatively reasonable member of the GOP. On Wednesday, McCain revived some of that bipartisan temperance when he took to the Senate floor to defend Huma Abedin, a top aide to Secretary of State Hillary…
Michele Bachmann's been a busy bee this summer, what with writing a 16-page letter detailing her two-part paranoid fantasy that the Muslim Brotherhood has penetrated the highest offices of the U.S. government and that she, after a failed primary bid for the presidency, is still a relevant figure in the national…
When you're in eighth grade and you don't understand why your best friend has suddenly teamed up with the class bully to write you jerky, unsigned notes that they leave in your locker every day (without fail) between fourth period science and fifth period study hall, having a mother who tells you that the girls are…
