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New York, 2:41 PM
Wed Nov 25
61 posts in the last 24 hours
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08/14/09
Second,
I have been doing a lot of intensive therapy this year and it hit me after a year of therapy that my depression about not being the woman I was being raised to be i.e. big ring, living in the country taking care of a man and feeling like a failure because I don't even WANT those things. What I spent a year exploring was really the feminine mystique and I was born in 1978. Y'all that's just sad.
08/14/09
08/15/09
08/14/09
Taking into account a lot of what was said in that piece, I realized that, with the likely exception of Peggy, these women are going to miss out on the "birth of the independent woman" whereas Sally Draper and the women of her generation are the ones who will get the benefits (as well as the additional struggles we still experience today) that their mothers never dreamed of. I can't wait to see where Season 3 takes us.
08/14/09
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08/14/09
It wasn't exactly groundbreaking, but it did spur me to set up my budget better and really think about actually having (and, uh, occasionally contributing to) a savings account.
08/14/09
I suppose I do feel ashamed for feeling like I need someone else to make the money. At the same time, it feels like such a part of my reality, if I decide to continue working with art.
I am at that point where I feel as if I need to leave this field behind in order to gain more financial independence and not have to rely on a spouse for financial security. Compromises all around.
08/14/09
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08/14/09
At the same time, I'm so thankful that this opportunity is available to me. I know I would not be happy to be a stay at home mom, though I'd be taken care of. I know you're not talking about being a stay at home mom, but it's part of my train of thought. I'm also lucky that the career I want is pretty lucrative.
08/14/09
There are few men at the top as attractive as a Don Draper or Sterling Cooper. Most of them are bloated, balding, aging nerds with serious self-esteem and identity issues who only ever got laid by making money and now resent women. Those are the men with the expense accounts and the vacation homes that other men envy and who sell their own desire to dominate and humiliate women to the masses.
I still believe there are a lot of men (outside New York) with whom a more progressive, less misogynistic male archetype would resonate but I don't think the men behind the curtain have any interest in promoting it.
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08/14/09
Yeah, I wish. Apparently, me and Stephanie Quilao live in the same dream universe.
Instead of eating out for your next foursome,
Hey, Cosmo's sex advice is getting better!
show off your cooking skills.
Oh. Never mind.
08/14/09
08/14/09
08/14/09
This article reminded me of an encounter I had with a professor of mine two years ago. I was majoring in International Politics at a top university and this man was my professor for a class on ethnic struggles and war. One day, I stopped by his office to pick up a paper I had written and he had graded. Upon handing it back to me, he complimented me on my piece and inquired about my plans post-graduation. When I told him I wanted to pursue a career in diplomacy, he looked at me and asked why I would want to do that when I could just marry a guy from a top-university because I was attractive.
Needless to say, I was livid and deeply insulted, which was compounded by that fact that he evidently thought I should be flattered that he didn't think I would "need" to work for a living and that my only reason for working my ass off to get into great schools was to find a guy who could take care of me. The point is, our society really hasn't evolved much in the past 40-50 years, and while I maybe expected this sort of attitude in some segments of society, I really was not prepared to encounter it in the rarefied realm of academia. Don't even get me started on outdated attitudes in the dating world...
08/14/09
08/14/09
"After all, the only thing the glossies seemed to peddle was obedience."
Just write your novel, Ms. Latoya. I will buy it, and you will have one reader. Then I will tell 20,000 of my closest friends.
+1
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08/14/09
I wish I had a copy with me of the boarding school yearbooks my great-aunt attended in the 20s, in Mexico. it was run by a group of American women and the mission statement was something along the lines of empowering young women to reach their potential, to be able to provide for themselves and be economically independent, be professionally fulfilled and to help other women achieve that too. It sounds innocuous and even a bit ridiculous, but for the time, the place, the context it was such an incredibly transgressive thing. The words jump out of the pages when juxtaposed with the images and the pictures. Proper young women in that time, being educated to strive for better things, most of them on scholarships, because those who could pay would never send their daughters to such a place. My great-grandfather apparently had fought bitterly with his own father about it, because the grandfather didn't want his granddaughters to work since it would ruin their chances of getting married. I think about that a lot, that it had to be such a terrible struggle just to let her have some education. And that even now when times are different and so many things have changed, society is still trying to veer us into one direction, where external validation is what matters for women in terms of crafting an identity, and the messages of "conform to the expectations" are everywhere.
08/14/09
This question has never really left us - after all, much of the fear mongering about women over-achieving or being too independent or staying single forever are really veiled ways of expressing concern about the role of men in a changing world.
here, you articulated something i've felt for a long time. many of the men i know in their 30s and 40s seem to be experiencing this, and i think it makes a lot of them feel lost.