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Michael's Will Released; Bradley Cooper Dates Renee Zellweger, Breaks Aniston's Heart?

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Bgirl_Hamster
07/01/09

In reply to Michael's Will Released; Bradley Cooper Dates Renee Zellweger, Breaks Aniston's Heart?
Re:Aniston.

I so want to believe that just because a man pulls out your chair doesn't mean he's trying to bone you. In the manners school I attended growing up, boys learned to do this for all the ladies at their table, regardless of romantic aspirations. Le sigh.
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Mafalda para Presidente
07/01/09

In reply to Michael's Will Released; Bradley Cooper Dates Renee Zellweger, Breaks Aniston's Heart?
Hilary Duff is joining the cast of Gossip Girl. She'll play Olivia Burke, a movie star who enrolls at NYU in search of a traditional college experience and ends up rooming with Vanessa.

Dear Zeus,

PLEASE SAVE US FROM THE HORROR.

Amen.
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brendastarlet is on it
07/01/09

In reply to Michael's Will Released; Bradley Cooper Dates Renee Zellweger, Breaks Aniston's Heart?
Kylie Minogue is one of my heroines and I am going to see her in Chicago in October on her first U.S. tour. Bruno can just KMA.
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Hana Maru, used up old slutbag on the pole
07/01/09

In reply to Michael's Will Released; Bradley Cooper Dates Renee Zellweger, Breaks Aniston's Heart?
Um, Gwynnie? There's a reason we in the United States don't have a lot of evidence of old civilizations. I believe it has something to do with Europeans, actually.
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brendastarlet is on it
07/01/09

@Hana Maru: that whole freedom of choice thing? You remember that from Spence? Or were you out smoking during the Civics lecture.
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BluebellaElliot
07/01/09

In reply to Michael's Will Released; Bradley Cooper Dates Renee Zellweger, Breaks Aniston's Heart?
I am so relieved that the piece from yesterday about Michael Jackson's body being putting on display appears to be false. That was just too much.
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YourScreenplaySucks
07/01/09

In reply to Michael's Will Released; Bradley Cooper Dates Renee Zellweger, Breaks Aniston's Heart?
R. Kelly released a statement saying, "A wildly exaggerated and inaccurate report has been circulating on the Internet that Olympia Fields police showed up at R. Kelly's house with a search warrant just before the singer left for his three-week concert tour in Africa last month and then searched the place looking for a missing 17-year-old girl. This is completely false."

Continued R.Kelly's statement: "The girl is actually 15 and the police actually searched for her on my boat, which is my favorite place to nail minors, especially since I can sail it outside of US jurisdiction. Peace."
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Devonna
07/01/09

In reply to Michael's Will Released; Bradley Cooper Dates Renee Zellweger, Breaks Aniston's Heart?
Gwyneth Paltrow is no Eddie Izzard. He said it funnier, and probably with better make-up... ;o)

(I am having no luck finding the clip on Youtube.)
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dianersb was bit by a zombie
07/01/09

@Devonna: @Lono285: You guys are both hearted for referencing Eddie Izzard.
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NaldoHecuba
07/01/09

In reply to Michael's Will Released; Bradley Cooper Dates Renee Zellweger, Breaks Aniston's Heart?
So, I kinda thought MJ was in all kinds of debt. Was I wrong about that?
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bluebears
07/01/09

@NaldoHecuba: he is. But his estate is still worth millions, remember that the term "estate" includes all future earnings as well. Think of Elvis.
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thebuffster
07/01/09

In reply to Michael's Will Released; Bradley Cooper Dates Renee Zellweger, Breaks Aniston's Heart?
All this coverage of MJ is getting to be too much. It's overload. I'll check back for real news, but this "the news is there is no news" is not for me.
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Mafalda para Presidente
07/01/09

@thebuffster: I just skip over those, I'm getting overloaded with MJ, too, but it's what's happening right now so anything about him will be milked dry. I just don't read them.
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EKane
07/01/09

In reply to Michael's Will Released; Bradley Cooper Dates Renee Zellweger, Breaks Aniston's Heart?
I really cant believe Gwyneth Paltrow speaks fluent Spanish. This is coming from someone who has been studying the language almost all of their life and is definitely not fluent yet... I'm probably just hating that she has the time and money to pursue Spain and sit around and study it and I don't. Them's the breaks.
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nawanda
07/01/09

@EKane: I always question the use of the word fluent. One part of me thinks its thrown around way to casually but the other part of me is pretty sure that is my own brain trying to justify the fact that it can comprehend only 1.5 languages at any given time.
Fluuencee, I don't haz it.
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Questioning Everything
07/01/09

@EKane: I also question her fluency. She probably speaks Spanglish.
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High_myopia
07/01/09

@nawanda: I'm pretty sure she is actually fluent. I've only heard her speak a few lines, but she her accent and grammar were perfect.
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EKane
07/01/09

@High_myopia: I mean, I have an accent (I can trill my r's etc.) and I can coherently string together a few basic sentences but I'm far from fluent. I'm still with nawandain questioning the use of the word "fluent."
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brendastarlet is on it
07/01/09

@High_myopia: she sounded pretty fluent during On the Road Again: Spain. My Spain is limited to "los vios subterraneo son peligroso" and "piso mohado" so she's definitely fluent where I'm concerned.
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Maulleigh
07/01/09

@EKane: I wish we New Yorkers could all be as enlightened as the precious Spanish who only eat whole grains and drink red wine and don't gain an ounce and don't watch television but sit around with their wonderful families and only work 2 hours a day because they're so bloody perfect at everything.
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argle-bargle? or fou-ferraw?
07/01/09

@EKane: i'm a snot; all i want to know is, is she literate?@

href="#c13996983">High_myopia: hmmm. i have no idea if she's fluent or not, and i wouldn't doubt it either (considering that she comes from money, i'm sure she's had a fabulous education) but i don't think you can really ascertain fluency from a few sentences. i studied spanish for three years and was never fluent, but was mistaken for a native speaker on several occasions because i can mimic accents well. you never know...
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Casquivana
07/01/09

@EKane: She does speaks Spanish fluently, and with a very nice Iberian accent, with proper "zetas" and everything. I've heard her in interviews before and yeah, she definitely speaks it well. That said, she sounds just as insufferable as in English. So the lesson here is that there are no language barriers for a whiny, entitled, holier-than-thou attitude .
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Mafalda para Presidente
07/01/09

@High_myopia: Meh, I've heard it. The accent wasn't perfect, but she does seem to be able to make grammatically-correct sentences.
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EKane
07/01/09

@Casquivana: Yeah... she is pretty insufferable in Spanish.

If anyone was wondering what she sounds like:

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leslieannelevine
07/01/09

In reply to Michael's Will Released; Bradley Cooper Dates Renee Zellweger, Breaks Aniston's Heart?
Honestly, I'm pretty sure Gwynnie was being tongue in cheek about the buildings of the U.S. You know, exaggerating for a slight comical effect. I do that all the time, and admittedly it's not the most hilarious thing, but neither is it an indication that I'm braindead. And her point stands; whether the U.S. has history or no (and it does), Europe has a much more lengthy architectural history, which is quite striking for a young American like myself to witness. I think sometimes Jezebel reaches for straws in the attempt to shame Gwyneth Paltrow, and it's getting a bit tiresome.
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bluebears
07/01/09

@leslieannelevine: I'm sure she knows that there are buildings older than 17 yrs in the US and she was most likely exaggerating but I don't think that means she was trying to be funny. The tone of the article isn't very "jokey." Again, its like, I get what she's saying, its just the way she says it. Maybe she's an amazing person and it just doesn't translate to interviews. But I don't think this is Jezebel grasping at straws here.
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Sputnik_Sweetheart
07/01/09

@bluebears: I said this in another thread, but there is Native American architecture that is as old as the buildings in Europe. And some of them are insanely impressive:

[images.google.com]

I also don't think it is grasping at straws, because she is only counting architecture made by WHITE Americans.
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clevernamehere
07/01/09

@leslieannelevine: What she is saying makes perfect sense from someone fairly young on her first (or second or third) trip to Europe. Lots of people have had thoughts like that. I was always a little enamored by the fact that I studied at a university founded before Columbus sailed the oceans blue.

But Gwyneth has lived in Europe, she's have the chance to travel and read expensively. Tongue in cheek is fine, but she shouldn't be ignoring Native Americans or the fact that BC is out of date.
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sshacker
07/01/09

@Sputnik_Sweetheart: I debated whether to bother writing what I going to put down because I agree completely with your first paragraph but I had to (I am sure to eye roll of many=)).

Your second paragraph inadvertently seems to imply that all modern architecture are by white people. This is inaccurate as there are architectural buildings by black Americans, Hispanic Americans, Asian Americans, and foreigners.

I understand your main point, and thanks for the pictures.
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sybann
07/01/09

@clevernamehere: Yep - point I was trying to make. Comparing culture and architecture like, "god, we americans are just so shiny and new and uncultured..." really makes her sound much younger and uninformed - and priviledged and white and ignorant and bleeding tone-deaf. It grates. And i don't hate her - I just wish she'd STFU.
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Sputnik_Sweetheart
07/01/09

@sshacker: What I meant is that she is only counting architecture that was built after the Europeans "discovered" America.
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Honeybunch
07/01/09

In reply to Michael's Will Released; Bradley Cooper Dates Renee Zellweger, Breaks Aniston's Heart?
Ugh, Gwyneth reminds me of that one rich girl at my highschool who over summer break would go on extended trips to various European countries with her family. She'd come back and tell us how in Europe everything is better. It had so much more culture and history than our scrappy city. Forgetting that for some of us, trips to Europe are a once-or-twice-in-a-lifetime deal (and I was born there!) Ladies, your privilege is showing.
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greengrey
07/01/09

@Honeybunch: Um. Are you privilege snarking??
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chritter is a nocturnal feminist mancatfish
07/01/09

@greengrey (raidersofthelostSTAR): Are you privilege-snark shaming?
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greengrey
07/01/09

@chritter is a nocturnal feminist mancatfish: Um. Sir, you have a penis. You and your penis privilege need to get out. Now.
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pseudonom is ON STRIKE.
07/01/09

@greengrey (raidersofthelostSTAR): Yeah, don't even bother unpacking your backpack of privilege, just leave it as it is and go! To Europe or something.
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chritter is a nocturnal feminist mancatfish
07/01/09

@greengrey (raidersofthelostSTAR): Classic derailing tactic. Please stay on-topic and off-penis.
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greengrey
07/01/09

@chritter is a nocturnal feminist mancatfish: By you implying that I was on your penis, you are implying that you were raping me, for every act of penetration is rape.

So I guess what I'm trying to say is...

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chritter is a nocturnal feminist mancatfish
07/01/09

@greengrey (raidersofthelostSTAR): AAAAAAAHHHHH I'M MELTING, MELTINNNNG! OHH, WHAT A WORLD, WHAT A WORLD!

*melts*
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Bgirl_Hamster
07/01/09

@Honeybunch: Hey Gwynnie, EUROPE DOESN'T HAVE SLURPEES! Muah hahahaha!
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Deaf Mute
07/01/09

In reply to Michael's Will Released; Bradley Cooper Dates Renee Zellweger, Breaks Aniston's Heart?
Is it really "saving" a life if the person has flatlined for hours?

Isn't it more necromancy? Also isn't there a significant amount of brain damage just minutes after blood stops pumping into the brain?
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la.donna.pietra
07/01/09

@Deaf Mute: After about 7 minutes of oxygen deprivation, brain damage starts. If you're 1) in a very cold environment, 2) young, 3) resilient, and 4) damn lucky, you might push your luck to 15 or 20 minutes with minimal or little brain damage. There have been cases of kids falling through ice into frozen lakes who have survived up to that long with no major damage. They're unusual, though.
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argle-bargle? or fou-ferraw?
07/01/09

In reply to Michael's Will Released; Bradley Cooper Dates Renee Zellweger, Breaks Aniston's Heart?
hours after they've flatlined?!

at that point, even if you were able to resuscitate them, wouldn't the patient in question have sustained significant brain damage? like, vegetable-level significant?

i could be totally wrong on this, but i was under the impression that loss of blood flow (and with it, oxygen) to the brain caused damage pretty quickly.

doctor jezzies, please advise. estoy curiosa.
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BatCat!
07/01/09

@argle-bargle? or fou-ferraw?: From the article:

"He's doing extraordinary things. You almost don't believe the results that he got," Weisfeldt said of Buckberg. "Most of us carry around in our head that if somebody's brain is deprived of blood flow for 10 to 15 minutes that we're just not going to get them back to any useful function. His data suggest it's possible."
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cadieface
07/01/09

@argle-bargle? or fou-ferraw?: i'm an ER nurse, so natch- we code people lots. basically... anything we do won't help (that "more than 80% perish" quote is a little optimistic, i think). and if you don't show signs of recovery within about 15 minutes of collapsing (not arrival to the hospital), you don't wanna come back.

this procedure seems to be effective, if i read the article correctly, with in hospital arrests or if you arrest and can quickly reach a hospital. i don't think it would work with most arrests we encounter.

that's what was shocking about the MJ resuscitation part of the story. he got worked for HOURS! *that* seems unethical to me...
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argle-bargle? or fou-ferraw?
07/01/09

@BatCat!: thanks for reading the article for me :)

it's been drilled into my cpr certified head since childhood (mostly by my parents, who are a nurse and a doctor practicing emergency medicine) that resuscitation needs to happen as quickly as possible. this is really interesting, but the vague manner in which it's discussed makes me wonder how 'useful' is useful? useful in that they can breathe on their own? useful in that they can still speak? useful in that they have lost only minimal cognitive function and can still take care of themselves and hold a job?
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Iheartmyprettypuppy
07/01/09

@cadieface: I've heard that people can be brought back from cold water drownings (or near drownings) hours later. I'm not quite sure how it works; actually I'm not sure at all. But my mother is a nurse who encounters the situation a lot, and she and I have talked about it before. The details were just a little bit beyond me. Not that any of this has anything to do with MJ.
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chatterboxwriting
07/01/09

@Iheartmyprettypuppy: I think with cold water drownings, the extreme cold kind of "freezes/preserves" things - a medical person can give better info.
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argle-bargle? or fou-ferraw?
07/02/09

@cadieface: woo! go ER peeps! (my dad does that!)

thanks for answering my question; that's pretty much what i suspected.
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Breamworthy
07/02/09

@cadieface: Some of the cases mentioned didn't reach a hospital quickly, but they did have CPR performed from the time of arrest to their arrival at hospital. One of the case studies is a man who was in cardiac arrest for 1.5 hours before the air ambulance arrived, but his wife was a nurse and kept up the CPR for the whole time. He was revived with no neurological damage.
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kookla
07/01/09

In reply to Michael's Will Released; Bradley Cooper Dates Renee Zellweger, Breaks Aniston's Heart?
Guillermo del Toro has permission to take classic films like Dracula, The Mummy and Frankenstein and do what he wants. That guy is genius.
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