• A baby for Jay-Z and Beyoncé!?! Apparently they're working on it. [Gatecrasher]
• Lindsay Lohan was spotted in an alley behind LA's Crow Bar, talking on her cell phone and crying. And, naturally, there are pictures. [Daily Mail]

• Madonna is supposed to go to Brazil to meet Jesus' parents; people are taking this as a sign that an engagement is "in the cards." This paper points out that Madge is 51 and Jesus' mom is 36. Does that happen when Hugh Hefner dates barely legals? No. [The Sun]
• Britney Spears is "extremely upset" by a report in Australia that fans stormed out of her Circus tour because she was lipsyncing. A rep says that she is "embarrassed" to be "part of the Australian media" that has "totally inaccurate reporting" and that the article about hundreds of fans leaving is "the biggest lie." [News.com.au, Reuters]
• John Mayer on the Britney lip-sync scandal: "If you're shocked that Britney was lip-syncing at her concert and want your money back, life may continue to be hard for you." [People]
• BREAKING: Jay-Z is the new Sinatra. Adjust accordingly. [NY Tmes]
• Prince Harry and Chelsy Davy: On! They attended a rugby match together on Saturday. Last month they allegedly had "a rather grown up, intimate dinner" at someplace called Beach Blanket Babylon. [People]
• Levi Johnston and Jon Gosselin posed for pictures together in Times Square over the weekend and yet the planet did not self-destruct. [NY Daily News]
• Hmm: Jon Gosselin is going to Hawaii for the wedding of Phillies outfielder Shane Victorino. [TMZ]
• Just what your Monday needs: A chart detailing how Nicolas Coppola became Nicolas Cage. [New York]
• It certainly looks like Bruce Springsteen's concert put Glenn Close to sleep. Unless she is blinking? [TMZ]
• Cate Blanchett looks regal — and yet unreal —on the December issue of Vogue. [The Life Files]
• Iman, Donna Karan and Agyness Deyn were seen teary at a screening of Precious. [Page Six]
• Gwyneth Palrow joins Nicole Kidman in The Danish Girl, a film adaptation of the David Ebershoff novel that tells the story of a relationship between the first post-operative transsexual, Einar Wegener, and his wife, Greta. It'll be directed by Thomas Alfredson, who shot the sublime Let The Right One In. [Variety]
• Sacha Baron Cohen has created Four By Two films, a production company which will generate comedies starring Sacha Baron Cohen. [Variety]
• Oh lord. There's a film in the works called Sheneneh and Wanda — which would star Jamie Foxx and Martin Lawrence playing their famous female characters. According to this report: "The project originated as a parody of a movie trailer for a film called Skank Robbers, which Foxx and Lawrence made for the BET Awards." Uplifting! [Variety]
• You know how Randy Quaid was arrested for running out on a $10,000 hotel bill? This story, titled "Randy Quaid's Journey From Actor To Alleged Felon," tells you everything you need to know. Apparently Randy exhibited "oddball" behavior back in 2007; his wife Evi called someone a "Nazi bitch" in 2008. [People]
• At the link, six ways Jon Hamm has an impact beyond Mad Men. [NY Daily News]
• Jim Carrey's website is "trippy," and has a "fantastical, psychedelic vibe." It looks like a Dali painting but from someone who likes Canada, hockey and octopi. [NY Daily News]
• Are you interested in seeing Susan Boyle sing on Dancing With The Stars? [NY Daily News]
• Susan Boyle says she is getting back on track, but things were hectic for a while: "My life ceased to be normal when Britain's Got Talent went live… There were phone calls 24 hours a day. They kept me awake for three weeks until I changed my number. It was totally out of control, like a steamroller. It just got bigger and bigger and bigger until, eventually, it can flatten you." [MSNBC Scoop]
• In her new play, Nightingale, Lynn Redgrave takes a look at "the life of Beatrice Kempson, her maternal grandmother, a woman she barely knew and wanted to know better." [AP]
• Dennis Hopper is undergoing an experimental treatment for prostate cancer. "It has great promise," he says. "Everything's good right now." [EW]
• Whee: The Wanda Sykes Show got pretty good ratings! [Variety]
• Michael Jackson's kids helped a dog named Scooby Roo get some wheels. [TMZ]
• Reality show mini series The Jacksons: A Family Dynasty — which focuses on Jackie, Jermaine, Tito and Marlon — airs on A&E December 13. [MSNBC Scoop]
• Joe Jackson is looking for $15,000 a month from Michael Jackson's estate. [Mirror]
• "People want an answer of when we'll be back, and I think it's impossible… It's unfair to say when we'll do Fall Out Boy again. It's hard to be creative. You just feel compressed all the time. We just want to let ourselves decompress." — Pete Wentz, whose band is releasing a greatest hits CD. [ONTD via Music Radar]
• "I come from the slums, I come from a hard background, I come from a poor family, and I was a soldier. And I was a soldier in a war that was a little bit different, so I know what I am talking about, more than most people do. With this script, it was as though someone had been reading my thoughts." — Michael Caine on new "urban western" film Harry Brown. [Telegraph]
• "I'm my own worst critic, and I don't need any more negativity in my life. So I go to my Web site and see good reviews and things that make me feel good." — Carrie Underwood likes visiting her fan site. [UPI]
• "I can't think of a single romantic thing that I've ever done. I would never serenade someone to be romantic – you have to have so much balls to do that. I put a flower in someone's locker when I was 15 years old, this girl called Maria. She thought that it was someone else and the other guy claimed it as well, which is great." — Sparkle Vamp Robert Pattinson is still trying to get the Twihards off his back. Or front. Whatever. [People]
• "I get quite obsessive about things, and possessive as well. I have very, very specific ideas about how I want to do my work and how I want to be perceived, to the point of ridiculousness sometimes. I don't listen to anyone else. That's why I don't have a publicist — I can't stand it if someone's trying to tell me to do something which might be a mistake." — Robert Pattinson. [People]
• "Outside London where I lived, there was no gay pub or bar you could go to. And even if you found one, it was 'Knock three times and ask for Louis.' It was horrible living this secret life. You could feel a little bit what it was like to be a Jew in central Europe during a certain period. It was horrible." — Sir Ian McKellan. [Metro.co.uk]
• "You adore music more than anything in the world, you have a great passion. But that doesn't mean you had to marry the lead singer of every band you ever had a poster of on your bedroom wall." — Patsy Kensit — who has married Dan Donovan of Big Audio Dynamite, Jim Kerr of Simple Minds, Liam Gallagher of Oasis — in a letter to her teenage self. [Daily Express]
• "It would be interesting for people to see that side of me." — 50 Cent would like to be in a romantic comedy. [Gatecrasher]
• "Desperation. I had a sick mom. I wanted to make her feel better. I used to go in there, aged seven or so, and do impressions of praying mantises, weird things, whatever. I'd bounce off the walls and throw myself down the stairs." — Jim Carrey on the origin of his comedic instincts. [Daily Express]
• "It's not just an old person singing covers, no, thank God." — Marianne Faithfull on her new CD. [AP]
• "Every song that you hear on the album has an element of freedom in it. If it's the way that I'm singing, or the style that I'm explaining something. For me, freedom is a big deal — I think for all of us because we're all looking for our wings to fly, to not be held back, to be free to be who we are. So that's another reason why I called it The Element of Freedom." — Alicia Keys. [CNN]
• "I gained three pounds since yesterday. I weigh myself every day. Today I vowed that I was going to wear flats, and then last second, I threw on some heels. I can't wait to sit down already. It's hard carrying extra weight. I'm over the red carpet being pregnant." — Kourtney Kardashian. [NY Daily News]

• Lindsay Lohan is in Morocco for the opening of some resort and was spotted kissing Gerard Butler at the launch party. She allegedly said:

"He's hot, he's mine! I've got no ring on my finger so I'm going to have lots of fun. This is the most romantic place in the world." Of course, since Gerard was linked to Jen A, this piece begins: "It seems there is yet more heartbreak in store for unlucky-in-love Jennifer Aniston." [Daily Mail]

• Lindsay Lohan Tweeted from Morocco: "some guy was following me, then pulled up in his car&pointed a GUN at me! The guy started laughing&pushed the trigger&it was a fake gun..I was crying..he scared me." [Gatecrasher]
• Lindsay's dad Michael Lohan — who's been talking about kidnapping his daughter and doing some kind of intervention, has been threatened with imprisonment by Dina Lohan, who says: "He is hurting Lindsay. It breaks my heart. She says, 'Mommy, when is he ever going to stop?' He is also six months behind in his child support. On Monday we will file a violation order and if he doesn't pay he'll go to jail." Oh, and you know those voicemail messages Michael was going to play on TV? Dina fumes: "He's getting a cease-and-desist letter so that's not going to happen. If it's something personal about your child, you don't go public with it." Dina also says: "He is desperate and spiraling out of control." [Daily Express]
• "My father is a lunatic & doesn't even deserve such a title since he's never been around in my life other than when he'd threaten me & my family. He should be where he has always put himself after verbally abusing and physically abusing people all my life-behind bars. It's so sad to get a phone call from my baby sister just now asking, 'why is daddy doing this?' Through tears. He's crossed the lines & hurt me & my family 4 the last time." — Lindsay Lohan. [People via Lindsay's Twitter]
• Michael Lohan says he'll stop talking if Lindsay goes to rehab. "But if the lies continue and the prescription drug use doesn't stop, neither will I." He also says: "I wasn't going to let people hear Dina's drunken rants about Lindsay, and I certainly wasn't going to let people hear anything about Lindsay, but now that Dina and Lindsay continue to lie and deny their problems, and even make up stories about me, NOW you will see and hear Lindsay's calls and texts. I am NOT the liar, they are. Hopefully then, they will realize how deceptive and in denial they are and finally realize that lying and denial are part of their addictions. I am sorry I had to take this route, but I have tried and tried to help Linds and I have been lied about long enough." [Radar Online]
• Kelly Bensimon was spotted being civil at her Halloween party! "She was dancing and saying hi to everyone," a partygoer says. "A lot of people were kind of shocked at how nice she was being." Kelly was also totally buddy-buddy with former frenemy Jill Zarin, who came dressed as Poison Ivy. [Gatecrasher]
• Tonight TLC will air Kate: Her Story, in which NBC's Natalie Morales sits down with Kate Gosselin for "her most intimate interview to date." [MSNBC Scoop]
• Precious is getting Oscar buzz, but the cast and crew are being cautious. "I know nothing about that," Mariah Carey said when asked about the Academy Awards. Director Lee Daniels said: "I'm in my bubble. The minute I embrace that concept of Oscar buzz then I'm in the fetal position with the covers over my head, chain smoking with a bottle of tequila, sitting next to the phone waiting for my agent to call me. I can't go there, I don't even embrace it." [Mirror]
• "As far as the Oscar, this being my first film, I'm having the best ride of my life. I don't know what makes an Oscar-winning actress. I don't feel like Halle Berry or Meryl Streep. I just feel like Gabby." — Gabourey Sidibe. [NY Post]
• Katie Holmes has replaced Liv Tyler in an indie comedy called The Romantics and will also serve as executive producer on the flick. The plot: eight friends from college reunite for a wedding. The cast includes Anna Paquin, Josh Duhamel, Malin Akerman, Elijah Wood, Adam Brody and Jeremy Strong. [Variety]
• Even though some of her items were recently returned to her, Paris Hilton feels "very, very violated" by being burglarized by the Teen Thieves. I could write that I feel very very violated after seeing her topless sex tape pix all over the Internet but whatever. [The Sun]
• One of Lady Gaga's earliest memories is watching her mother going through her fashionable closet: "She always looked so much more pristine than all the other mothers. I have a lot of her in me." At the link, see Gaga in a pink wig and studded mask. [ONTD via Flare Magazine]
• Ewan McGregor and George Clooney are both in Men Who Stare At Goats, but it's not the first they've worked together: In 1997, Ewan guest-starred on ER as a robber who gets shot; Clooney was the surgeon who tries to save him. "I was literally unconscious," Ewan says. "He was just doing all the dialogue over my undressed body." [USA Today]
• Your moment of Zen: Click to see Jon Stewart, his wife and kids dressed up for Halloween! [Celebrity Baby Scoop]
• Blake Lively was a brunette flight attendant for Halloween; Penn Badgley was a 1970s basketball player. Michael Kors was a hippie. [Gatecrasher]
• Coco and Rihanna celebrated Halloween with an interesting skin-to-costume ratio. [The Life Files]
• The guy who was arrested for attacking Ryan Seacrest's security guard was training to be an actor and TMZ has video of one of his scenes. [TMZ]
• On December 7, Carrie Underwood's two-hour Fox variety show, Carrie Underwood: An All-Star Holiday Special will air, featuring a duet with Dolly Parton and a trio with Christina Applegate and fellow Oklahoman Kristin Chenoweth. She'll also sing with American Idol alum David Cook: "We sound really good together, point blank… Out of all the people that have been on Idol, he's my best friend." [USA Today]
• In The Last Station, Helen Mirren plays Sofya, Tolstoy's wife of 48 years and the mother of his 13 children. Mirren, whose real name is lynea Mironov, felt a connection with her character: "My great great grandmother was a Russian countess and one side of my family was Russian aristocracy; the other was English working-class, so I'm a good contradiction." And: "This is one of the great women's roles in film. Sofya is a wonderfully tempestuous and passionate person." [Telegraph]
• Mark your calendars: January Jones, aka Mad Men's Betty Draper, will host Saturday Night Live on November 14 — with the Black Eyed Peas as musical guests. November 21, it'll be Joseph Gordon-Levitt and the Dave Matthews Band. [EW]
• Despite all the scandal, The Late Show With David Letterman hasn't shown lower ratings. It's down 8% in its coveted 18-49 demo but up 13% total viewers… Compare that to The Tonight Show With Conan O'Brien, which is down 15% in the demo and down 47% in viewers. [Reuters]
• Cute pic of Sam Ronson on the back of Mark Ronson's scooter. [Daily Mail]
• Edward Norton ran the New York Marathon with an unofficial time of 3:48:01. He and 3 Masai warriors — and others, including Alanis Morrisette and David Blaine — ran to raise money for the Maasai Wilderness Conservation Trust. [ONTD]
• Ryan Reynolds ran the New York marathon as well; pic at the link. [Gatecrasher]
• Model Veronica Webb also ran the marathon. [Page Six]
• The cast of Glee will be presented with a Hollywood Diversity Award later this month. [Reuters]
• A waiter at high-end restaurant Clarke Cooke House in Newport, Rhode Island asked Kevin Spacey not to smoke in the establishment. Spacey called the guy an "aggressive prick" and the guy got fired. [Radar Online]
• At the link, Sparkle Vamp Robert Pattinson does his best James Dean for Vanity Fair. [ONTD]
• Speaking of the Sparkle Vamp: Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart will allegedly be on the December cover of Harper's Bazaar. [WWD]
• Mel Gibson is a father for the eighth time: His girlfriend Oksana Grigorieva had a baby girl on Friday. By the by, Oksana is 39; Mel's eldest daughter Hannah is 28. [Daily Mail]
• Kelly Rowland plays a happy housewife and mom of triplets in the new 50 Cent video, although there's a twist at the end. [The Life Files]
• Clive Owen's costars can't stop gushing about how awesome he is. [The Star]
• Tila Tequila is auctioning off a plaster cast of her boobs to help raise money for breast cancer awareness. [Page Six]
• "British film icon Sir Michael Caine has abandoned his support of the Labour party and announced he will vote Conservative at the next general election." [Telegraph]
• RIP August Coppola, Nicoalas Cage's dad and Francis Ford Coppola's brother. [Page Six]
• Q: Did you ever think that the dancing baby was ridiculous?
  A: "No, honestly, I was quite intrigued by it. I thought it was smart! Obviously, it was symbolic of Ally's biological clock ticking away, and I thought, what a great way to do that. I loved the fantasy sequences; I loved that we got to see her imagination come to life." — Calista Flockhart on Ally McBeal. [Newsweek]
• "Would you take a photo with me? I love Asians!" — Anthony Anderson. [Page Six]
• "What do you mean, you don't know who I am? I'm on Bravo." — Chad from Million Dollar Listing. [Page Six]
• "In the area of our veterans coming home with traumas or PTSD or whatever, it's one of those issues that isn't pretty to look at. We ask these people to fight for us and risk their lives, and certainly potentially alter their outlook of the world or how they react to things. I think it would be nice for us as a society to have some more awareness of what they go through, and to take on some more responsibility for the results of our asking them to go over there." — Tobey Maquire, who plays a Marine captain who survives captivity in Afghanistan only to find his relationship back home with his family — and his self-image — changed, in the family drama Brothers. [LA Times]
• "[The movie] is definitely not a history lesson. It's very relatable. She doesn't get on with her mother. She's in love for the first time. She's a teenager. And she's in a job where she's in way over her head." — Emily Blunt on the teenage Queen in Young Victoria. [LA Times]
• "I think parents need to take a lot more responsibility than they do about whether it's OK for their children to go to Resident Evil or any other movie with violence or sex or whatever. It's really easy to blame Hollywood for violence having an effect on kids, but movies would have no power if parents would just set their own standards. And it's the same with video games." And: "I did this movie .45 that kind of never saw the light of day, it went straight to DVD. I really connected with this character who was a victim of domestic violence but ends up taking control. I think a lot more women today are taking control as opposed to being the kind of stereotypical female who's weepy and gets abused by men. Women are more educated now about abuse. It's not like it was in the '80s. I think they're much more in control of all aspects of their lives. I think Japanese girls are fascinated with strong women. Their culture really puts such a focus on being subservient. Like, you go to Tokyo and they bow and they want to make sure everything's good. That's like a cultural phenomenon. So I think to see a woman kicking butt and using weapons makes them feel a little empowered. So there's a huge fan base for the Resident Evil movies over there." — Milla Jovovich. [ONTD via Parade]
• "I don't want to be a movie star like Angelina Jolie. Nothing about being a celebrity is desirable. I'm an actor. It's bizarre to me that everybody's so obsessive." — Kristen Stewart. [Showbiz Spy]
• "I like to iron. Ironing is comfort. It's control. I'm a nutty person who likes to make sure everything is in its place." — Sandra Bullock. [The Life Files via Parade]
• "I think I'm just misunderstood. I'm not a fame seeker. Everyday I look in the mirror and I wonder [why I'm famous]. I don't sing. I don't dance. I'm not a Nobel Peace Prizewinner. I just had eight kids and I had a show on TLC… Half the stuff I've done, if I look at my moral compass, I shouldn't have done. I know that but I did it anyway. It's like fame canceled out conviction. I want to apologize to Kate in private… I'll apologize to her for openly having relationships in the public eye. That was a huge mistake, because if she would've done that to me, I would have been extremely pissed off. Not because our relationship is over, it's almost like a stab in the back. And now that I think about it, it was a very wrong thing to do. I definitely regret it." — Jon Gosselin. [People]

• Did Rosie O'Donnell try to romance Angelina Jolie? She told Howard Stern on his radio show:

"We talked on the phone two or three times, but that was that… There was a tentative plan to have dinner that never came through. I was a little afraid of Angelina. She's scary in a sexual kind of way." [Gatecrasher]

• Charlize Theron's nickname is Ass-nuts. No, really. [Mirror]
• Last week, Lil' Wayne pleaded guilty to possessing a .40-caliber semi-automatic cops found in a Louis Vuitton bag on his tour bus. He's focusing on partying before he gets sentenced in February — when he's expected to get a year in jail. [Page Six]
• Lindsay Lohan has moved out of her Hollywood Hills house, which was broken into in August. She's now in a West Hollywood condo. Adjust accordingly. [Page Six]
• On his album cover, Adam "Glambert" Lambert reminds me of Debbie Gibson or Belinda Carlisle. [The Life Files]
• Since her TV career is iffy, Kate Gosselin has renewed her nursing license — she used to be a labor and delivery nurse at The Reading Hospital and Medical Center in Pennsylvania. It's good to have a back-up plan! Imagine having contractions and then seeing her in the delivery room? [RadarOnline]
• Yikes: Matthew Broderick's new play was previewing Monday night, but he wasn't prepared. He had to stop the play to ask for his lines 10 times during the first act alone. [Gatecrasher]
• Critics cannot stop gushing about Carey Mulligan, earning her "It Girl" status. She says: "It Girl is such a weird term,… It implies I go to parties and drink champagne and um… it's weird." [CNN]
• The Church of Scientology is pissed Crash director Paul Haggis claims the religion is anti-gay. Tommy Davis, a spokesperson for Scientology, says: "The church supports civil rights for everybody, regardless of sexual orientation, race, color or creed. We are a minority, too; we understand what it's like to be persecuted, so to the extent that anything prohibits or inhibits on civil rights, we don't agree with it." So why was the Church's name of a list of churches which supported Prop 8? Davis says that was an error. [MSNBC Scoop]
• Take a deep breath: The Jonas Brothers are not, repeat NOT breaking up. It's true that Nick Jonas has formed a band called Nick Jonas & The Administration, but he says: "We've said from the beginning of our career as the Jonas Brothers that anything we do outside of the group is a side project because you can't break up brothers… My brothers are my biggest supporters." [People]
• Secrets from Sex And The City 2: The Reckoning Of The Boogaloo! It's bigger! But not as long as the first! The cast has been shooting all night! With huge crowds involving hundreds of people! Please God let it be a prison dance scene. [The Sun]
• In Lily Allen's new video, she plays a woman obsessed with Elton John. As you may recall, the two had a "feud" last year when she called him an old drunk (I'm paraphrasing) and he told her he could snort her under the table. [News.com.au]
• Richard Gere is in talks to star on the UK show Strictly Dancing. He's done ballroom before — in Shall We Dance, with Jennifer Lopez. Not that I've seen it. [The Sun]
• Andre Agassi did meth in the '90s and then lied when he failed a drug test. [NY Post]
• Ryan Seacrest is producing a show called The Bank Of Hollywood, in which contestants pitch money-making ideas to business leaders. Sean Patterson, president of Wilhelmina models (you've seen him on ANTM) will be the main judge. [Page Six]
• Dr. Conrad Murray is blaming Michael Jackson on his inability to pay child support; the DA is calling bullshit on that. [TMZ]
• Dr. Arnold Klein has filed a creditors claim against the Michael Jackson estate, claiming he's owed $48,522.89 for services performed between March 23 2009 through June 22 2009 — just three days before Jackson's death. The services include Botox, acne surgery, Latisse, Restylane, and "nutritic lips." [TMZ]
• One of the services Dr. Klein provided is listed as "I.M. injection. A source says says "I.M. Injection" is commonly used as billing code for the narcotic Demerol. [TMZ]
• Michael Jackson was in negotiations to buy a $38 million Bel Air mansion right before he died; his kids had seen the house and loved it. [TMZ]
• U2 will play a free concert in Berlin — in front of the Brandenburg Gate — to celebrate 20 years since the fall of the Berlin wall. [USA Today]
• Idris Elba was on The Office for seven episodes, and is continuing to have a relationship with NBC: He will be the executive producer of an legal drama about a vigilante lawyer who uses "any means necessary." Malcom X, Attorney At Law? [Reuters]
• Spotted: Jane Lynch — aka Glee's Sue Sylvester — making out with a "gal pal" in NYC. [Page Six]
• Morrissey returned to the stage after collapsing at his last show and made jokes about feeling ill. [Mirror]
• Simon Cowell recommended that Gordon Ramsey get some cosmetic surgery. So he did. [NY Post]
• Lisa Niemi, Patrick Swayze's widow, spoke at a women's conference on grief yesterday, saying: "When the grief takes you, it's like your body is not your own. I'm just going with the flow. I know I have to go through it. I've spent two thirds of my life with him. ... My regret is that I didn't tell him that I loved him enough over that entire 34 years. I am so grateful for what I had and my connection to him, and part of me believes that I will see him again… and I'm just going to have to go on until then." [People]
• Late Late Show host Craig Ferguson had to finish taping his show by flashlight last night when high winds knocked out the power at a CBS studio. That's what they call dark comedy, ba dum bum. [AP]
• Precious star Gabourey Sidibe is in talks to appear in a Showtime series called The C Word, in which Laura Linney stars as a terminal cancer patient. Gabby would have a guest spot as a teen with a bad attitude. [Variety]
• At the link, Alicia Silverstone talks about her fave recipe, restaurant, cookbook and food destination. [The Daily Beast]
• Corey Feldman's wife has filed for divorce. They've been married seven years and have a five-year-old son together. He'll be expected to pay attorney fees and spousal support, so maybe we'll get Lost Boys 2: The Frog Brothers' Revenge. [TMZ]
• Magician David Copperfield's sexual assault lawsuit has been delayed for six months. [AP]
• As a kid, I loved Miami Vice, so it's cool to hear Philip Michael Thomas is out there doing something, even if it's hosting a fundraiser for Republican Whilly Bermudez's campaign for the Florida legislature. I guess. [UPI]
• Michael Madsen: Facing eviction. [TMZ]
• "'I Google all day long, because I'm an information freak. I'm always looking for information about something. I do believe that Google was invented for me personally. 'As for Googling myself, I did that once but I gave up. There were seven and a half million sites, so I went 'whoops.'" — Michael Caine. [Telegraph]
• "I won't even see scary movies. I've been in them, and then I've been like, 'Whoa, this is way too scary for me.' I guess I've held on to some of those little childhood moments - when you're in the dark and there's a rattle outside and you're thinking there's a monster under your bed." — Josh Lucas. [Gatecrasher]

• While performing stand-up in New York on August 5, Rosie O'Donnell started talking about her stint on The View, which she referred to as The Screw You, and called Elisabeth Hasselbeck "Elisabeth Half-a-brain." But Rosie wasn't done!

• An audience member says, "Rosie said when she first met Elisabeth, she thought she would love her, because they're both Christians... Then she stopped and said, 'But then she turned on me.' Then Rosie called her a 'twat.' O'Donnell then moved on to a different subject, saying she really didn't want to start a new feud, or restart an old one." Too late Rosie! [Fox News]
• Jon and Kate Gosselin's divorce will be finalized by the end of the month. Also Hailey Glassman has agreed to do an interview with E!'s Giuliana Rancic on August 17 in a one-hour special at 7pm ET. She's going to stay away from the kids until the divorce is official, but then all bets are off. [Radar Online, Ok]
• This week's episode of Jon and Kate Plus 8 had only 3.5 million viewers, down 4 million from the week before. [Us]
• Let's hope no one gets in Taylor Lautner's way! "I love that kid," says Kristen Stewart. "I would do anything for him. I would kill for him, literally." [People]
• Though it was reported that Jennie Garth, who is married to Twilight's Peter Facinelli said Robert Pattinson was either dating Kristen Stewart or Nikki Reed, rep says she actually said, "I can't say [who Rob's dating]. That will be breaking my promise to my husband. But I do know." [Radar Online]
• This morning on Today, Brad Pitt says he's seen the "Brad Pitt for mayor" shirts many New Orleans resident have been wearing, but he's not considering a run because, "I don't have a chance." [AP]
• Three sources say Dr. Conrad Murray left Michael Jackson alone after giving him propofol to make phone calls on the morning he died. He'd left him alone after giving him the drug before, but not monitoring MJ may legally meet the level of negligence required for an involuntary manslaughter charge. [L.A. Times]
• Michael Jackson and a man named Henry Vaccaro had been fighting over some of MJ's memorabilia, including 26 unreleased songs for years. When two of Jackson's lawyers went to retrieve eight of the items last month Vaccaro said they were missing, but the items were later auctioned off. Police are investigating. [TMZ]
• Motown founder Berry Gordon will write the introduction to the rerelease of Michael Jackson's memoir Moonwalk. [AP]
• Though Amy Winehouse was previously banned from entering the U.S. she still wants to do a tour and her spokesperson said that now, "There is nothing to stop her getting a visa to travel to America." [Contact Music]
• Patrick Swayze was recently hospitalized for a week, possibly because of intestinal bleeding, but he's home now. [Radar Online]
• Madonna is renovating her recently purchased New York townhouse and now huge dumpsters are blocking the entire road. [The Sun]
• If Philadelphia school officials approve, Tony Danza may co-teach 10th grade English at Northeast High School this fall for a reality TV show called Teach on A&E. [AP]
• Billy Mays' health insurance commercial for the iCAN benefit group has been pulled from the air. [TMZ]
• Kourtney Kardashian has revealed that boyfriend Scott Disick is the father of her child. As for how she could have gotten pregnant she said, "There's so many times I'll forget to take my pill. I've done that several times and never really thought about it…I know, it's stupid." When she told Disick, "He was like way more like excited than I was. Like he definitely wasn't as nervous and scared." But she's not sure if they'll get married. She says, "We've talked about it, but I feel like there's so much going on that I like can't even go there." [E!]
• Kourtney's mom Kris Jenner says, "I am beyond thrilled and excited and cannot wait to meet my new grandchild! We are truly blessed." [People]
• Sky Blu of the hip-hop group LMFAO has a crush on Khloe Kardashian. [E!]
• Though she initially didn't show much interest in Beatles Rock Band, which will be released in September, Yoko Oko visited Harmonix studios in Boston a few months ago. "She gave the designers hell," said a VP at the company. "We were like, ‘Oh, gee. Thanks'. It would have been nice to know that six months ago, but yes, ‘Thank you very much'." [Mirror]
• Karl Rove and Rush Limbaugh are going to guest star in an upcoming episode of Family Guy in which Brian becomes a Republican because he's upset he has nothing to complain about anymore with Barack Obama in the White House. [Politico]
• Toby Keith's new song and music video American Ride may become the theme for town hallers. It makes fun of global warming, terrorists, and illegal immigrants, and the video shows "President Bush in front of the White House giving Christian-right leader Pat Robertson a piggyback ride. Another shows bankers hoisting President Obama in a walk through a destroyed Wall Street district as dollars fall from the sky." Check it out here: [U.S. News & World Report]
• The Miss Universe Organization has releasing topless photos of outgoing Miss Universe, Dayana Mendoza of Venezuela, to Maxim for the September issue. While previously similar organizations have always condemned contestants for releasing such pictures (Mendoza's arm covers her breasts), a pageant official said, "She just loved the way they turned out and she really wanted to be able to share them. If she had taken these photos and sent them to a magazine, that would be a different issue. But she handled this so appropriately. She came to us and said, ‘I understand I'm Miss Universe and I have this title, but as Dayana Mendoza, I'd like to share these photos.'" [MSNBC]
• Jerry O'Connell has enrolled at Los Angeles' Southwestern Law School. When his wife Rebecca Romijn was asked why he enrolled there she said he was, "very impressed with the faculty and the vibe here. This is brand new to him as well. He's very much looking forward to his education." [Us]
• In the video at the link Jessica Capshaw of Grey's Anatomy explains that the next season will be "heavy." [E!]
• Reese Witherspoon, who is filming the baseball movie How Do You Know has just recovered from getting a black eye a few weeks ago, and now she has another one. [Daily Express]
• Abbie Cornish, who was accuse of breaking up Reese Witherspoon and Ryan Philippe's relationship says, "It was a really difficult time for me... It was just this world of tabloid magazines that I'd never been exposed to. In a normal successful career, someone usually learns these things bit by bit. For me, it was like night and day. I woke up one day and there was this whole new thing I had to process and deal with." [W]
• Mike Tyson has given his first interview since the accidental death of his 4-year-old daughter Exodus. "I am working with dealing with it," he says. "I have spoken to a lot of people. I have become a member of an exclusive club no one wants to join. I have been told the pain never stops but you get over it. I am going through a process, trying to heal. I am in denial, because I don't know how to handle it. I don't know what to do or say. I appreciate everybody who supported me." [Entertainment Tonight]
• Victoria Beckman's rep says, "there are no talks of her being a permanent judge [on American Idol]. They felt she was natural in Denver. [But] she has Fashion Week coming up, and she is focusing on that." [L.A. Times]
• Lily Allen has but a Breitling watch she bough for herself that's too big up for sale on Twitter for £3,200. [Daily Mail]
• Here's a picture of Katie Price's new boyfriend, Alex Reid, hanging out with Katie and Peter Andre's son. Both are topless for some reason. [Daily Mail]
• "I love England. It would be a wonderful life experience to have an excuse to work here for six or nine months..." says Quentin Tarantino. "I am a huge fan of Simon Pegg, so I would definitely love to work with him. I also think Kate Winslet is one of the best actresses that ever lived, so I would be honoured to work with her. I am also a huge admirer of Anthony Hopkins. I would also love to work with Michael Caine. I can see them appearing in my movies, it just has to be right." [Daily Express]
• Q: How does it feel to be the face of Twitter. Ashton Kutcher: "It feels like I should own some of it but unfortunately I don't. However one person does not make a community." [Time]
• Q: Does it bother you to be called Mr. Demi Moore? Ashton Kutcher: No. Why would it? People have called me much worse. [Time]
• Rachel McAdams says of playing a mother for the first time, "I was excited and nervous about it because I haven't done it before. It was a welcome challenge. The little girls [Hailey McCann and Tatum McCann] in this film were so fantastic. They are real sisters and they made my job really easy. So I didn't have to work too hard at that." [People]
• "I think Pete's really honest, and there's something to be said for that, on this show. He's honest even when it works against him. He can't help himself. He has to say the blatant thing. He's like that guy who meets someone and says, "Oh wow, you have a mole on your nose!" I like people like that. They're not ashamed to go up to a guy and be like, 'Hey, how'd you lose your arms?' Like, 'Come on, everyone else is wondering, I had to ask!' But then, the guy without the arms is probably so sick of answering that question! ... He's no Don Draper. Like you said, he's the biggest rube in the room. And he's the biggest buffoon in the room." — Vincent Kartheiser of Mad Men [Salon]

• Susan Boyle's new hairdo, clothes, and "reshaped" eyebrows may actually hurt her image, according to a neighbor: "She looks really nice - nothing like the image that's had the whole world talking about her."[DailyMail]

• X-Factor judge Louis Walsh has clearly been drinking the Susan Boyle Haterade: "Susan is a pretty good singer but she's not a great singer," he says. [TimesofLondon]
• Susan Boyle doesn't have Britain's Got Talent locked up just yet: a 10-year-old named Hollie Stell is giving her some strong competition. [Daily Mail]
• Is Lindsay Lohan's weight loss a cry for help? A source says yes: "She is a self-destructive person. It's all part of her cry for attention. She wants Sam [Ronson, her ex-girlfriend] to see how bad she's hurting and she wants Hollywood to see her as a 'tortured artist' who is wasting away … This is a symptom of something much bigger – a desperate need to be noticed." [People]
• The official promo posters for Bruno have been released. The tagline? "Borat was so 2006." [EW]
• Ugh, Octomom: The Musical? Really? [TMZ]
• Natalie Cole is waiting on a much-needed kidney donation: "In my younger, hell-raising days, I was an active drug user, and heroin was my drug of choice. In the process [I] contracted the hep C virus," Cole says. She is currently on dialysis and hopes a kidney comes soon, "but, at the moment, where it's coming from, heaven only knows." [PageSix]
• Blind Item: "This 80's Heartthrob is finding out the hard way you should never abandon your kids. When they grow up they come back to haunt you and make you look like a fool!" [Blind Gossip]
• Oh no! Henry Ian Cusick, perhaps best known for his role as Desmond Hume on LOST, has been accused of sexual harassment by a woman who used to work on the show. [TMZ]
• John Mayer has been spending a lot of time with a new "gal pal"—a cocktail waitress named Scheana Marie. OMG what does Jen have to say about all this?!? [People]
• Jay Leno has been released from the hospital and is "feeling much better."[USWeekly]
• Katy Perry has reportedly reunited with ex-fiance Travis McCoy "The break-up sucked," Travis says, "We're back together now - you're the first person I've told that to.I keep thinking about if I had to go through it again and how s****y it would be. We were moving way too fast. I was being juvenile about the entire thing. Now it's easy breezy. I'm happy and in love." [TheSun]
• "I love family. It is the best organisation there is, and I'm a great father. Come to think of it, that is my big conceit. If you want arrogance and conceit, I think I'm the best father in the world. I have always put my children first. I never spoiled them but I was there for them. They came on set with me. I got this reputation for saying yes to films only because of the locations or the money. Well, that wasn't entirely true. It was mostly about taking a job that would allow me to support the family and have them with me.-Michael Caine [DailyMail
• "For someone who has missed as much school as I have, I want to go back and discover what else there is. I always loved school - I was a proper, proper nerd. I just want that back again."Emma Watson, who seems to get more awesome by the minute. [ShowbizSpy]
• Is Mel Gibson's mistress expecting a baby? A source claims it may have sparked the Gibson divorce: "Robyn put up with Mel for years but when she found out Oksana was telling friends she was expecting it was the last straw." [TheSun]
• Madonna, Reese Witherspoon, and Gwyneth Paltrow, have all topped Forbes' list of "Hollywood's Hardest Working Mothers." [Reuters]
• Natalie Portman hopes to give viewers an inside look at the movie-making business with her new project, MakingOf. "I always wondered why there isn't a Web site that encapsulated the experience of visiting a friend on a movie set," she says, "Our site is supposed to give access to people who don't have a friend they can visit" - meaning pretty much everyone, and definitely us." [NYMag]
• "I think the best thing in my life is my ability to be in a stable relationship. For anybody who has been in care or moved around a lot, it's very tough to form strong, lasting relationships. And that's what I'm proudest of."-Samantha Morton [Guardian]
• Gwen Stefani has put down 100,000 to make sure that a proper playspace for her sons is built into her recording studio. [Star]
• Rhianna is hoping to retrieve the 1.4 million dollars worth of jewelry she was wearing on the night she was beaten by Chris Brown from the LAPD. [Yahoo!]
• Whoops! Apparently nobody at the Jonas Brothers' record label recognized the potential misunderstandings that might come about due to the Bros new album title, "Lines, Vines, and Trying Times." "Universal only get involved with distribution and promotion when the record is completed," says a source, "And they were stunned staff at Hollywood Records, who the lads are signed to, had failed to spot the ‘lines' reference." The same thing happened when I released my debut album: Crack, Smack, And Scooby Snacks. [TheSun]

• Slumdog Millionaire star Rubina Ali's father, Rafiq Qureshi, was arrested last night on charges that he tried to sell his daughter for £200,000. [The Sun]

• Rubina Ali's father says he did not try to sell his daughter and claims it was all a trick by the UK paper News of the World. He said the offer was made in English, which he doesn't understand, and that the whole incident is a "lie made up by foreign journalists playing games with me." [BBC, People]
• Lindsay Lohan is in talks to star in the topless Vegas show Peepshow. It is produced by Mel B. and Kelly Monaco, and Holly Madison and Brooke Burke are also said to be up for the role. [Fox News, Las Vegas Review Journal]
• There are rumors that Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel have broken up. According to a source at Kate Hudson's 30th birthday party he was, "was very much acting like a single guy." [Perez Hilton]
• Rumors that Amy Winehouse wants to adopt a child from the Caribbean are not true. "Amy was talking about adopting in the context of looking after children on the island, perhaps through some kind of music and education-based project," says her rep. [The Daily Express]
• Dawne Wilson, the woman arrested for stalking Tyler Perry allegedly sent him an email last year that said, "You need to check your heart condition because it is filled with murder....your love has been but costly and deadly....Murder I say is the verdict ... Why do you insist on assisting the devil?" [TMZ]
• J.J. Abrams originally offered Matt Damon the role of Captain Kirk in Star Trek but Damon turned down the role. "I actually approached Matt and we had some discussions, but everything happens for a reason. On the one hand, it would have been great to work with Matt - but at the end of the day, it was such a better move to cast the movie with unknowns," said Abrams. [The Daily Express]
• Though she is currently battling cancer, Farrah Fawcett is still planning to throw a big birthday party for her partner, Ryan O'Neal tonight. "There will be cake and champagne," says Fawcett friend Alana Stewart, "Ryan has really been there for Farrah in such a wonderful way." [People]
• Neil Patrick Harris's tuxedo caught fire during rehearsals for the TV Land Awards, which he is hosting. The fire was caused by electronic devices sparking. "He just had some welts on his back," says a source. "He didn't have to be taken to a hospital or anything like that." [E!]
• Michael Caine says his family teased him when he said he wanted to be an actor because they presumed he was gay. "That's what we thought actors were - all poofs (gay). And sometimes we were right," he said. [The Daily Express]
• Anna Faris says of her parents seeing Observe and Report: "They haven't seen the whole movie yet. I'm a little nervous. I told them they needed to drink a bunch of wine - at least three bottles of wine - before they saw the movie, so maybe they would pass out before they got to any of the love-making scenarios." [Mirror]
• The members of Pink Floyd are suing EMI, because they claim the label miscalculated their royalty payments. [RollingStone]
• The first pictures of Russell Crowe in Robin Hood are out and "He doesn't have the old Robin Hood tights," say producer Brian Grazer. "He's got armor. He's very medieval. He looks, if anything, more like he did in Gladiator than anything we're used to seeing with Robin Hood." [Just Jared]
• Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag will get married, legally, on April 25 in Pasadena. [People]
• Brooke Shields says when she was a teenage model, "I didn't want to [look in the mirror]. What if I didn't like what I saw? What if I didn't look like I did in the magazines?" She adds: "I'm proud of my longevity more than anything else. There's a lot to be said for endurance. I'm trying to find the beauty in the whole picture rather than the crow's feet." [People]
• Jared Leto, lead singer of 30 Seconds To Mars, is working with Kanye West on a track for the band's new album. Let says, "We had this song, and I thought it would be interesting to get a different perspective, a different voice on it. There was a serendipitous nature to the way everything unfolded with him and I. We're friends, I think there is a bit of a mutual admiration there for each other's work. I think he's a really kind person, and really creative and a fellow work fiend like myself. So, it made sense." [Rolling Stone]
• Ben Affleck says of his Bennifer days: "The media went crazy, our relationship was selling so many magazines, and we became the first couple to fall for this huge media appetite for taking two celebrities and fusing them together into one horrible, mutated entity with one name! That amount of press attention creates resentment, which was still rumbling when Gigli came out. That said, it was an awful movie. It was like a horse's body with a cow's head." [The Telegraph]
• Colin Farrell said of his six-year-old son James, "I don't know if I would be here if I hadn't had him ... He was a huge part of me going in and making certain changes in my life." Farrell added that he has a "propensity for addiction" and struggled with his identity after coming out of rehab. [OK]
• Rachel Zoe says she wants to change people's opinion of her. "There's really like this big laundry list of misconceptions," she said. "I think, off the top of my head, I would say: one, that I'm anorexic; two, that I starve people; three, that I give drugs to people to make them thin. And I would say that I'm a diva or that I'm this sort of very kind of tough, kind of heartless person ... I'm very vulnerable. I really am. I'm human. I'm super sensitive. I take everything personally." [AOL]
• Lars Ulrich says fans used to ask members of Metallica to have sex with their girlfriends. "In the early days in America back in the mid-'80s, people would often ask us to fuck their girlfriend," Ulrich recalled. "The first time it happened to me, we were opening for Ozzy in 1986 and I was slightly taken aback. But you realise people were serious and you say to yourself, 'So now I'm fucking your girlfriend, are you round the corner, whacking off? Are You taking pictures? Where do you fit into all this?'" [NME]

• This report calls Jennifer Aniston "lovelorn" and "notoriously unlucky-in-love" but explains that she has "set her sights" on Gerard Butler, which is "cause for renewed optimism." What does all this really mean? It's simple:

They're going to be in another movie together. [Daily Mail]

• Lindsay Lohan was seen hanging out with Mel B after the Spice Girl's Peepshow revue in Vegas. Also, she maybe exchanged numbers with a GUY. [Daily Mail]
• Jackie Chan told a "business forum" that Chinese people may not need a free society. "I'm not sure if it's good to have freedom or not," Chan said Saturday. "I'm gradually beginning to feel that we Chinese need to be controlled. If we're not being controlled, we'll just do what we want." Pro-democracy peeps are pissed, obvs; one guy says: "He's insulted the Chinese people. Chinese people aren't pets." [MSNBC]
• Kate Hudson turned 30 with a "star-studded" bash on Friday night, but Owen Wilson wasn't there. Who was? Demi Moore, Ashton Kutcher, Justin Timberlake, Matthew McConaughey, Tobey Maguire, Jessica Alba, Gwyneth Paltrow, Gwen Stefani, Eva Mendes, Zach Braff and, of course, Cher. [People]
• The woman who broke into Britney Spears' property says she is not a stalker and the "documentary" she was filming while peeping inside Britney's windows with a camera was "paparazzi work preparation" because she would like to do some "paparazzi gigs." [E!]
• Madonna, who fell from her horse in the Hamptons on Saturday, is blaming the paparazzi for jumping out of the bushes and scaring the horse. Of course, she was thrown from a horse in 2005, so who knows. [Mirror]
• The only paparazzo who took pictures of Madonna riding her horse says her Madgesty is a liar. He says he took pix of Madge riding, then left. Then 30 minutes later he got a tip about an ambulance being sent; so he went back and took pix of her being tended to. He says: "If I had startled the horse, I would have gotten pictures!" [TMZ]
• By the by, Madonna wasn't just "riding" that horse but leaping hurdles. She was at the home of famed photographer Steven Klein and Jesus Luz was there, too. [NY Post]
• Madonna's adoption appeal has been scheduled for May 4, so expect to see her in Malawi then. [People]
• Unsolicited uterus update: Ellen Pompeo is pregnant! [People]
• Mel Gibson asked for a new judge in his divorce case, because he felt that Judge Rafael Ongkeko was "prejudiced against" him, and bingo! He got a new judge. [E!]
• Is Mel Gibson's "mystery girlfriend" Oksana Grigorieva? None of the other Oksanas were the right ones. [People]
• Mel Gibson was seen going to church at his private church in Malbu on Sunday. Then he went for ice cream. This is "news." [People]
• Russell Brand called President Obama's answering machine while on Radio 2, trying to figure out which UK football team Barack supports. [The Sun]
• Victoria Beckham, who has said she "hates working out," has decided to take up Pilates. [Daily Mail]
• May the good Lord bless Kelly Osbourne, who says of her wedding: "Vegas is way too tacky. I'd prefer to get married in London, as I have family and friends here." [Daily Mail]
• Kelly Bensimon is being sued for stealing an idea for a jewelry line from a former Elle Accessories colleague. Hence the headline "Housewife Kelly Bensimon Stole My Owl." [Page Six]
• Kelly Bensimon also says she does not hate Bethenny Frankel: "I don't hate anybody. Why would I? I respect Bethenny as a dynamic go-getter. Its tough being single in New York and working." Plus, Kelly says she'd like to to Dancing With The Stars. [WWD]
• Singing sensation Susan Boyle was obsessed with Donny Osmond as a teen. Also, her brother says: "She doesn't wear make-up or fancy clothes. It's not that she doesn't care, she just doesn't see why other people should care how she looks." [Mirror]
• Did some dude smooch never-been-kissed Susan Boyle? [Mirror]
• Rosie O'Donnell says: "Simon Cowell was genuinely moved when he heard Susan Boyle sing. He showed his humanity, and I actually liked him. It was a moment in time." [People]
• Q: Is Hugh Jackman the only mutant with a nude scene [in Wolverine]? Ryan Reynolds: "It's a prerequisite-you have to show off your mutant berries is what they told us. No. I think Hugh is probably the only nudie. I don't remember taking my pants off. I do have a faulty memory, though." [Newsweek]
• Another day, another story of Prince Harry attending an "illegal rave." [Daily Mail]
• This report claims that Amy Winehouse has been so stimulated and chilled out living in St. Lucia, she plans to write a children's book. [Bilde.de]
• Why does Amy Winehouse have burns on her legs? [The Sun]
• Jamie Foxx says while plating a schizophrenic homeless man in The Soloist, "I was in a bad place because I felt like I might be literally losing my mind." He had panic attacks and bouts of paranoia during filming. [LA Times]
• In an interview with Idris Elba, the Brit actor of The Office, The Wire and new flick Obsessed says of people thinking he is hot: "It's weird because, you know, I've been just the ordinary chap for 30 odd years and suddenly, I'm going into this [situation]: 'Oh my God, all the ladies love you!' And I'm like, 'Huh? Me? It doesn't make any sense!' I didn't grow up like some sort of sex symbol. It does make a gentleman walk with a stride in his step, believe me." [WaPo]
• Kourtney and Khloe Kardashian, the sisters who, according to this story, "aren't famous for having a big ass and a sex tape," are getting their own spin-off TV show on E! [Media Week]
• Jeff Goldblum is joining the cast of Law & Order: Criminal Intent and something tells you he's going to be awesome. [NY Times]
• Peaches Geldof, 20, who edits a magazine and has been a TV personality, plans to record an album. At least she's industrious? [Daily Mail]
• Some great quotes from Whoopi Goldberg in this interview. She says "I don't look like Halle Berry. But chances are, she's going to end up looking like me." And: "An actress can only play a woman. I'm an actor, I can play anything." And: "It's great to see Barack as president, but there's a lot to get done and he really is in the stuff. There's no money and everybody's out of their minds and pissed at America." As for why she is not in the stage version of Sister Act in London? "I am 112, so I was too old. I also don't sing." [Guardian]
• Na, na, na nanana… Paul McCartney played a "Hey Jude" singalong after midnight at Coachella. [Mirror]
• "A Night Out With" Colin Hanks involves playing games like Who Am I? and Connect Four. [NY Times]
• Did you know that Viggo Mortensen speaks fluent Spanish and Danish? Lots of details about him in this interview. [Guardian]
• Here, the Daily Mail apologizes for saying that Will Smith's school was a Scientology school. "We are assured that the academy founded by the actor Will Smith and his wife Jada Pinkett Smith, is secular, with no religious affiliation and welcomes children from all backgrounds." Someone must have threatened to sue! [Daily Mail]
• RuPaul hosts the NewNowNext Awards. which will premiere June 13 on LOGO and LOGOonline — with a performance by Lady GaGa. [LOGO]
• Edie Falco is addicted to the Discovery Health Channel and hospital-based doctor shows. Now she's playing an ER nurse hooked on Vicodin and Adderall in a Showtime dark comedy series called Nurse Jackie, which premieres in June. [NY Daily News]
• Fran Drescher is working on getting a TV talk show, where she can talk about politics, culture, and health issues. Hopefully nothing where we'd have to hear her laugh. [Daily Mail]
• Marianne Faithfull and her "soulmate" have split after 15 years; he went on to slap a British Airways staffer over the weekend. [Daily Mail, The Sun]
• Actress/singer Patsy Kensit married DJ Jeremy Healy over the weekend; her fourth marriage. She's also been hitched to Dan Donovan of Big Audio Dynamite, Jim Kerr of Simple Minds and Liam Gallagher of Oasis. [Daily Mail]
• These "Paul Newman cheated" stories will only make you sad, especially when you find out one woman told him: "You're always drunk and you can't even make love." [The Sun]
• Zac Efron's flick, 17 Again, was number one at the box office, with a respectable $24 million. Fess up: Who saw it? [MSNBC]
• What the world needs now: A Joan Collins makeover show. Too bad it's only in the UK! [The Sun]
• Blind item! "Which young starlet demanded 17 free handbags after forgetting she needed to buy gifts?" [Gatecrasher]
• "Women always want to be what they're not. If you're the pretty girl, you want to be the quirky girl. If you're the smart girl, you want to be the pretty girl." — Jordana Brewster, who wants to be a Bond girl. [Page Six]
• "I'm not going to tell you it's been all smooches and hugs. But it shouldn't be because that would be a bore. If my band didn't have issues, if they didn't throw tantrums, I would think I was with a bunch of suckers. As long as they can handle it, I can handle it. After all we're just delivering music that people love, so how bad can it be? It could be worse. We could be drafted." — Perry Farrell, on the "bitter feuding" happening now that Jane's Addiction has reunited. [Reuters]
• "Probably 10 years from now I'll be able to look at this phase of my life and be able to understand [my character in Cheri's] journey more. But I think for a lot of women 50 is a very particular age. I'm not one that's ever really thought about birthdays, but this was a big one and I was not looking forward to it. But surprisingly it has left me feeling liberated in a strange kind of way. Sort of, the pressure's off. And it's actually quite wonderful. I wasn't expecting that." — Michelle Pfeiffer. [Telegraph]
• "When I was in the theater in Liverpool, we had a café where we'd have lunch. In the evenings it was full of girls, and we were like, 'What the hell is this?' It was the Beatles. Later on, I met up with John [Lennon] at Cannes and we had an evening, getting bombed out of our minds on alcohol. The sixties wasn't drugs, you see. What ended the sixties was drugs." — Michael Caine. [New York Mag]
• "A guy I worked with recently told me, 'You have to earn the right to hold a gun.' And that completely made sense. Can you imagine me running around with a gun in a film? I noticed the second I started that the things you want to be involved with are always just out of reach. Most parts you'd want, people won't really consider you for, because you have to earn that respect. The things people do want you for are usually not things you want to do. At one point, somebody said to me, 'What do you wanna do? A cool crime drama? Do you wanna shoot up heroin? We'll do anything you wanna do…the Musical.'" — Zac Efron. [GQ]
• "Most of those guys on TMZ are idiots. Actually, I wouldn't call them idiots, because that's doing a disservice to idiots all over the world. They're whatever's worse than that. I feel more sorry for them than anything. I don't know if it's being mean, than being utterly moronic. There's a quality of somebody that must have been deeply hurt, to become so immature and to have such an unloved soul that they would choose a profession like that. It's incredible." — Ryan Reynolds. [Newsweek]
• "I feel angry that I even have to say I am atheist. The alternative is so ludicrous to me. I don't want to dignify the idea of religion by saying that. The burden of proof should be on their side, not mine." — Ricky Gervais. [Telegraph]
• "He was supposed to be writing this for me. He could have written me anything and he comes up with this. If that's what he thinks of me, well, then I'm not for him and he's not for me." — Marilyn Monroe on the screenplay Arthur Miller wrote for her. [Daily Express]
• "My sister is the Twitter queen. She told me about the twittering, but I don't get it, I feel like I'm getting really old. I'm like, what? I don't understand. Just call me." — Beyoncé. [Yahoo News via AP]

• Chris Brown has reportedly moved on. His new ladyfriend is actually an ex. She attends University of Mary Washington and they met in Virginia, which is where he's from. His reps deny everything. [Gatecrasher]

• Are Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie trying to adopt another kid, this time from the Philippines? [Daily Mail]
• Is Pamela Anderson getting ready to wed —- for the fourth time? The dude would be her current boyfriend, Jamie Padgett. [The Sun]
• "Someone in the Kardashian family will soon have plastic surgery," says Kim Kardashian. "I can't tell you who, but someone in my family will look totally different and viewers will see it all on the show very soon." Uh, is it Bruce Jenner? [People]
• Suri Cruise is starting her "five day a week Scientology training," which really just means she'll be attending that school started by Will Smith that uses "study technology." But the school does require a "low-carb, low-sodium and low-sugar organic diet." Suri is about to turn 3. [Daily Mail]
• Although Lindsay Lohan is "heartbroken," Lindsay and Sam are still talking,says a friend. Also: Lindsay "barely sleeps, which explains a lot of her behavior. She's exhausted. She can't even sit down for a minute without pacing around the room. It's really sad." [People]
• Lindsay was seen carrying something called Neuro Bliss, which is supposed to "relax neural tissues, to enhance brain activity, focus and provide a sense of well-being." [TMZ]
• This report is titled, "Lindsay Parties The Pain Away." [OK!]
• Madonna is still trying to adopt Mercy James, the child in Malawi. Her lawyer has filed an appeal, and she says "I want to provide Mercy with a home, a loving family environment and the best education and healthcare possible." [Reuters]
• Mercy James is "in hiding" so that her biological father doesn't come and take her; apparently he has only materialized since Madonna showed interest in the child. [Daily Mail]
• News you cannot use: Madonna's son David is a fan of Australian football. [News.com.au]
• Is it mean that Joel Madden posted a picture of a young Nicole Richie on his Twitter and wrote, "This is why I love her folks. Is it not Ron Perlman circa Beauty and the Beast??" [People]
• Hermione's coming to the states: Emma Watson will be attending Brown University. [Daily Express]
• Even though Paris Hilton is with Doug Reinhardt now, she totally talks to her ex, Greek shipping heir Stavros Niarchos, at least three times a week. They probably just discuss the economy and ? [Daily Mail]
• Brace yourself for a Nadya Suleman reality show, which is super close to happening. [MSNBC Scoop]
• Some lady from a rehab center says she had a "secret fling" with Blake Fielder-Civil and is knocked up with his kid. Is it true? Will Amy Winehouse flip her wig? [Daily Mail]
• Amy Winehouse has been working with the Gorillaz instead of working on her own album. [Mirror]
• Amy Winehouse and Duffy are no match for Dusty Springfield, says a friend of Dusty Springfield's. [Telegraph]
• Did Whitney Port leave her job at Diane von Furstenberg, after being beaten out for a promotion by Olivia Palermo? [Page Six]
• Josh Hartnett was seen partying in Miami, so he's clearly recovered from that gastrointestinal problem which sent him to the hospital earlier this month. [UPI]
• Did Jimmy Fallon steal an album cover from the wall of a New York City restaurant and show it off on the Tonight Show? He's claiming it was a prop, but the restaurant has posted a sign, saying: ""Wanted! Jimmy Fallon. A free meal and drink to anyone who can retrieve our record cover back to us safely." [UPI]
• Tim Roth says he was a victim of child abuse. "It happened during my childhood up to my early teens and although I'm not going to say who it was, he's long gone now — and I hasten to add it wasn't my father or mother. Things happen to you in your life, but you don't want to consider yourself to be a victim — you want to be a survivor and the first thing that helps you do that and helps you get through it is speaking and finding your voice." [Daily Mail]
• WTF: New York Post film critic Lou Lumenick wrote: "You know a movie's got problems when the most memorable thing about it is Sienna Miller's moustache. That growth above her lip is clearly visible in two scenes, once in profile." How is that relevant to the movie (The Mysteries Of Pittsburgh) or her acting? [The Sun]
• Sienna Miller has dropped from number 45 to 202 on FHM's Sexiest Women list. [The Sun]
• Trouble in Kate Beckinsale's marriage? [Daily Mail]
• Jared Leto invited children rescued from a life of prostitution to sit in on a recording session with his band, 30 Seconds To Mars. [Monica Seles is opening up about her addiction to food in a new book, Getting A Grip. [Daily Mail]
• Long-haired heartthrob Fabio wrecked a Ferrari on Mulholland Drive over the weekend. Did you know dude is 50? [UPI]
• The Hannah Montana movie took the top spot at the weekend box office with a fairly respectable $17.2 million. [The Hollywood Reporter]
• Why the fact that Sylvester Stallone has Russian heritage is breaking news is a mystery. [Daily Mail]
• Sting and his wife have invited a group of friends on an all-expenses-paid luxury trip to Tuscany to discuss "social consciousness." [Daily Mail]
• Here's a profile of Carla Gugino in which she says: "I was so serious when I was young. My mom would come home and say, 'Carla, stop studying." Or, "The dishes are clean enough.' I felt that to be successful I couldn't drink, I couldn't smoke. But acting taught me to have a life that could feed my work.… I had a happy childhood, but I think it also pushed me to try to create my own sense of stability and made me very intense for my age." [NY Times]
• Singer Cassie shaved part of her head, and it looks cute. [NY Daily News]
• Two of Leona Lewis's cousins have been arrested for allegedly beating up and trying to rob some drug dealers. [The Sun]
• Ooh, a retrospective of Ray Liotta's career. He was so hot in Something Wild. [CNN]
• Bjorn Ulvaeus of ABBA says there should not be a sequel to Mamma Mia: "It wouldn't work." [UPI]
• In this piece, Sir Roger Moore talks about all of his ailments — kidney stones, shingles, low heart rate, etc — as well as his hypochondria. [Daily Mail]
• William Hurt will join the cast of the Robin Hood flick which stars Russell Crowe in the lead and Cate Blanchett as Maid Marian. [The Hollywood Reporter]
• Shenae Grimes of 90210 was asked who she'd like to come to the set: "Luke Perry, obviously. I mean, come on! We've all been dying for it. I still am but I may have to give up the dream." [Mirror]
• This sentence means nothing to me, but perhaps others will care: The Veronicas are dating brothers from rock bad Carney. [News.com.au]
• Blind item! "Which troubled starlet is getting over a bad breakup with a member of the same sex? We just hope the latter's current boyfriend doesn't get wind of the girl-on-girl shenanigans!" [Gatecrasher]
• "Trying to do an aggressive sex scene is quite difficult. Especially in a public place with a crowd of screaming extras with their little camera phones going click-click, talking pictures of your pasty white ass. I've had my fair share of bedroom antics in films, but they were a little more private." — Jason Statham. [Page Six]
• "I have made several mistakes and one of them was being overprotective of the girls, which has led to an impression that the school is isolating them from society. The majority of girls are thriving, really fulfilling the dream and vision I had. They really have exceeded any expectations I had for them. In spite of everything that's happened, what keeps me inspired and hopeful is the heart of every girl, because they are wonderful, they are magnificent." — Oprah, who has been defending the record of her school in South Africa. [USA Today]
• "He was in an Easter suit, with the Easter basket and the eggs and everything. Once you've seen Billy in a bunny suit, it's pretty hard to think of Easter in any other way." — Christie Brinkley on ex-husband Billy Joel. [Daily Express]
• "I wish I'd never worn an American flag motif swimsuit to the MTV Awards when I was in the Spice Girls. This was me hating myself and hiding under mountains of make-up." — Geri Halliwell. [Independent]
• "I don't think you ever retire from films - films retire you. Sometimes, if you're unfortunate, after your first film. What happens is you say 'I'm going to retire'. And then someone turns up and gives you this script. So you're not retiring. I don't have my next movie and I'm not looking for one. But someone will give me a script possibly and I'll work again. If someone doesn't give me a script that I want to do, I'll retire. But there won't be a great announcement or fanfare of trumpets. I just won't do anything. I'll stay at home and do what I always do, which is cooking, gardening and writing." — Michael Caine. [Daily Express]
• "I don't care. If I don't get food in my mouth, I'm still happy. If my pants are round my ankles, as long as I don't get arrested for indecent exposure, I'm happy. I'm worried about keeping my hair, not how it's combed. […] I don't know that [my kids have] ever seen Back To The Future all the way through. Just as Parkinson's isn't a big topic of conversation in my house, neither is my career. I go down to my office every day and they say, 'Dad's going to work.'" — Michael J. Fox. [Guardian]
• "Only 1,350 rockers were made, and we sold approximately 70 percent in the first two weeks. The collector's edition photo album has sold more the first week than any book we've sold at Cracker Barrel." — Cracker Barrel's VP of marketing on Dolly Parton's merch, which is flying out of stores. [Reuters]
• "I wish we could have shared a bed/but her life was not her own/That's what happens when you date a girl/from Driftwood Nursing Home." — from Bob Saget's comedy act. [NY Times]
• "What I love about Donna is she's never jaded. Donna can kind of go through anything and she still has that girlish quality about her. I think that's something she'd have at any age. That's Donna to me." — Tori Spelling on her return to 90210. [Yahoo News via AP]
• "It's not like we're not talking, we just haven't talked. I love my mother. I've always loved her [and] no doubt she loves me. There's no feud. We simply never meshed." — Tori Spelling. [People]
• "Chris [Martin] is a huge [Sherlock] Holmes nut. He said to me before filming, 'You've got to be gaunt. You've got to be as skinny as you possibly can to play Holmes.' So every time I'm reaching for a muffin I think about Chris and skip the snack. That's been tough." — Robert Downey Jr. [The Sun]
• "I know what you're saying, but it's not a character like in a book or a movie. He's not a bus driver. He doesn't drive a forklift. He's not a serial killer. It's me who's singing that, plain and simple. We shouldn't confuse singers and performers with actors. Actors will say, 'My character this, and my character that.' Like beating a dead horse. Who cares about the character? Just get up and act. You don't have to explain it to me." — Bob Dylan, in a rare interview. [Telegraph]
• "I knew I wanted to marry her pretty soon [after I met her]. It took a while for me to admit it, because it would be crazy to be like, 'I want to marry you' the first day I met her. But I could have!" — Chris Pratt on fiancée Anna Faris. [People]
• "I found I was really sleepy. I almost fell asleep during a Chris Rock show - live, front and center. I thought, 'I need to have a steak.' You have to do what works for you. Some people need meat." — Rachel McAdams, on why she's not a vegetarian anymore. [NY Daily News]
• "There was a television series that never got made by that woman who wrote that big role for Helen Mirren, Lynda La Plante. They wanted me to play – this is how they think of me – a woman who had been beaten up and degraded. I refused. I'm sure the British would not like to see me in a role like that. No way. [As for the film version of my life,] I hated the script. I thought it would be based on the book and not just made up. I had a long talk with my friend, the actress Carrie Fisher, about it and she said: 'You might think you were degraded enough but believe me, for Hollywood not nearly enough. There has to be prostitution, there has to be murder.' So I took it back." — Marianne Faithfull. [Daily Express]

• PETA has one of George Clooney's sweaty towels and wrote him a letter asking to harvest his perspiration to make Clooney flavored tofu, or CloFu. "As a mammal, I'm offended," said Clooney in response. [E!]

• A PETA spokesperson says the CloFu will "spare animals from being killed for the table." [Washington Post]
• If you're in the market for a less disgusting celebrity food product, Sting is going to sell red wine made at his country estate in Tuscany. [AP]
• Britney Spears has reportedly been going on secret dates with her longtime talent agent Jason Trawick. But, an insider says they just have a "close professional relationship." [Yahoo]
• Though Adnan Ghalib moved to the U.S. when he was five, if his country of citizenship is still listed as his native country of Afghanistan, he'll be deported if convicted on assault charges. [The Daily Mail]
• Though it was reported recently that some of Britney's dancers were fired for failing drug tests, a source on the tour says, "none of the dancers have been fired nor have there been any failed drug tests." [Access Hollywood]
• Madonna was at Brit's concert on Long Island last night. [Perez Hilton]
• It appears the rumors are true: Jennifer Aniston and John Mayer have broken up again. "They had some disagreements and decided to not continue to see each other," says a source. "Jen is moving on with her life like she always does. She seems happy." [People]
• Chris Brown is not looking for new management according to his mom/co-manager. [People]
• Chris Brown's lawyer has requested an unscheduled court hearing on March 23 to discuss the possibility of Rihanna testifying ... or not testifying. [TMZ]
• Producer Polow Da Don's publicist is confirming that Rihanna and Chris Brown recorded a duet. [CNN]
• Rihanna went out for a second night in a row sans Chris Brown. She went to Wilmer Valderrama's karaoke night with her friends. [E!]
• Thom Yorke has finally responded to Kanye West, who said he's upset with Yorke for not saying hello. Yorke wrote on his blog: "[W]ish us all a safe journey if you still like us and you're not one of those people i have managed to offend by doing nothing." [NY Magazine]
• Chris Martin tried to convince Noel Gallagher to go green, but Gallagher says told him that he "genuinely didn't give a fuck" about the environment. [The Sun]
• U2 is considering reworking and re-releasing their debut 1980 album "Boy." Is Bono the new George Lucas? [Reuters]
• Trent Reznor is mocking Soundgarden's Chris Cornell via Twitter. He writes: "You know that feeling you get when somebody embarrasses themselves so badly YOU feel uncomfortable? Heard Chris Cornell's record? Jesus." [Perez Hilton]
• Shirley Manson posted a Facebook message to clear a few things up. She's not quitting the music industry and she's having some kind of operation tomorrow. She says: "In the unlikely event that I die or become brain damaged, can I just say that I have had the most wonderful life and can't think of a lovelier way to have lived than to live creatively and have people like you lot support me in that endeavour." [ONTD]
• If you're anxiously waiting for Mariah Carey to reproduce you'll have to keep holding your breath. In this video Nick Cannon says it'll be at least a "couple years" before they have a child. [TMZ]
• People are saying that Kelly Clarkson looked pregnant on American Idol last night, which is particularly absurd because she just said she's not interested in having children. [TMZ]
• Roger Federer and longtime girlfriend Mirka Vavrinec are expecting their first baby this summer. [Yahoo]
• A judge has thrown out a contempt-of-court conviction and ordered a new trial for Pamelyn Ferdin, 50, an animal rights activist who was the voice of Lucy in several Peanuts TV specials. She was convicted of violating a court injunction that barred her from harassing UCLA faculty members who used animals in research. [AP]
• Cheryl Burke has an incentive plan to encourage people to vote for her partner, Gilles Marini on Dancing With the Stars. "Every week we advance, he will lose one piece of clothing," Burke says. "He's the naked guy from the Sex and the City movie, and people know he has a great body. So he can pull it off." [People]
• Gospel singer BeBe Winans has been booked on a domestic assault rap for allegedly pushing his ex-wife to the ground during an argument last month. [The Smoking Gun]
• David Hasselhoff's ex-wife, Pamela Bach, was arrested for felony DUI in Los Angeles, and is out on bail. [People]
• Cheech Marin is engaged to his girlfriend of four and a half years, professional classical pianist Natasha Rubin. [People]
• According to Forbes' Star Currency Survey, Daniel Radcliffe, Miley Cyrus, and Dakota Fanning are the most bankable young stars. [The Mirror]
• Shockingly, The Hills may not continue after Lauren Conrad leaves the show. A producer says: "I can't even say if there is a next season. I have no information for you on The Hills beyond Lauren Conrad. We're focusing on this season, and this will likely be our highest-rated season yet. I think a lot of people are going to tune in to see Lauren wrap her storyline." [E!]
• Spanish director Juan Antonio Bayona, will direct the third Twilight movie. But what about director Drew Barrymore? [Yahoo]
• Michael Caine returned to the London streets where he grew up to film his new movie Harry Brown. '[The film] is about sink estates and the violence on them," says Caine. "This is a dark portrait but unfortunately it's very true and we're all responsible for it. We left the children to rot. We left these children and they grew into animals." [The Daily Mail]
• Reese Witherspoon says her new role in the animated movie Monsters Vs Aliens has inspired her to look for an action role. "I have never been in an action film before so the last third of this movie is so action-packed, it made me very excited. I think maybe I could do that." [The Daily Express]
• Women make up just 16 percent of all directors, producers, writers and cinematographers who work on the top films in Hollywood and Charlize Theron is one of them. She's produced four movies in her career, but she says, "I try not to kind of bitch and complain about what [women] don't have," said Theron. "It's a tricky thing because, I think, if you want to find that lynchpin, you can, in anything ... I look at the work that I've done and I feel incredibly proud that I've had the chance and the opportunity to work on the material that I have." [CNN]
• As you'll recall, when Charlize Theron was 15 she saw her mother shoot and kill her alcoholic and abusive father in self-defence. She says: "I don't know how to say this without sounding strange. But I feel like having this tragedy at such a young age has given me a leg up from other people. Because, man, from 16, I knew the value of life and I knew how quickly it could be taken away. And from that moment on, I made a choice to either swim or to drown, you know? ... (I have) had many painful journeys and heartbreaks since my father died, many of which I draw on for my work." [The Daily Express]
• Prince William spoke in public for the first time about losing his mother, Princess Diana. He said: "What I understand now, is that losing a close family member is one of the hardest experiences that anyone can endure. Never able to say the word Mummy again in your life sounds like a small thing. However for many including me, it is now really just a word - hollow and evoking only memories." He was speaking to families and volunteers from the Child Bereavement Charity. [The Sun]

• New details on Rihanna: The warrant detailing the entire assault has been released, her family says she's changed her contact information, and her rep isn't denying that she and Chris are engaged.

• A search warrant affidavit based on "Robyn F."'s statements was filed to obtain cell phone records for Rihanna, Chris, and one of Rihanna's personal assistants. The report alleges that Chris beat Rihanna while driving and tried to push her out of his car. Rihanna called her assistant during the attack and pretended to tell her, "I am on my way home. Make sure the cops are there when I get there," but she got the assistant's voicemail. Chris said: "You just did the stupidest thing ever. I'm going to kill you." The report says he put her in a headlock and she almost lost consciousness. You can read the entire document here: [The Smoking Gun]
• Law enforcement sources say that on the night of the attack, Rihanna said Chris had been violent to her in the past and the attacks were getting more violent. [TMZ]
• The tabloid magazines are insisting that Rihanna and Chris are either married or engaged, and when her reps finally responded, this is what they said: "Sorry for the delayed response, but we aren't able to offer anything right now but will keep you in posted if that changes." Are they not in touch with Rihanna or is it possible that the story is true? [Perez Hilton]
• Rihanna's dad, Ronald Fenty, says that he and Rihanna's mother and brother can't reach her anymore because her phone numbers and email have been changed. He said of Chris Brown being charged: "Justice can never be served in this situation. He can't feel the pain she felt. I don't believe in hitting a woman. I hope everything works out better for them. I don't feel happy or sad. He's in the court's hands. Let justice prevail." [Us]
• Whoever runs Chris Brown's MySpace picked today to post a reminder to vote for Chris for the Kids Choice Awards. [MySpace]
• Jaime Lee Curtis wrote a post on the Huffington Post complaining about the New York Times story on President Obama going gray. "Give me a f-ing break," she writes. "Are we really so deluded ... that we are focusing even one inch of a column of this venerable institution, the New York Times as well as every other outlet, Huffpost included, on the president's hair color?" [The Huffington Post]
• A Beatles version of Rock Band is coming out in September. Instruments modeled after the ones uses by the band will be sold to go with the game. [AP]
• In this video from last night's David Letterman, U2 read the Top Ten List and The Edge goes off script and makes fun of Sting. [E!]
• Watch the new Wolverine trailer, with many gratuitous shots of a shirtless Hugh Jackman here: [Perez Hilton]
• Former Monkees guitarist Peter Tork has been diagnosed with a rare form of cancer in his tounge. He has Adenoid Cystic Carcinoma, a cancer of the head and neck, but says his prognosis is good. [The Daily Mail]
• Miley Cyrus's boyfriend, Justin Gaston, was once on the cover of an European teen magazine called Electric Youth! wearing a Speedo. [Perez Hilton]
• Julia Roberts was invited to be one of the former winners presenting awards at the Oscars but turned the Academy down. "My husband had been away and just returned home so I felt it best to stay home and welcome him and be with my family," she said. "That was my priority so we watched the show on television." [The Telegraph]
• Oprah is going to talk about her interview with Michelle Obama on Friday's show and share pictures. The interview will appear in the next issue of O Magazine. [Chicago Sun-Times]
• Robin Williams has postponed his comedy tour because he needs heart surgery. He's getting an aortic valve replacement and hopes to be able to work again in the fall. [TMZ]
• Politico has an "exclusive" interview with Brad Pitt in D.C. ... in which he doesn't say a word. [Politico]
• Dr. Laura is criticizing Kohl's on her blog for choosing Britney Spears to represent their brand Candie's. Kohl's answered one of her reader's complaints, saying Brit "personifies the iconic ‘Candie's Girl:' flirty, self-confident, and stylish." Dr. Laura says, "How 'bout 'piggish, out of control, and irresponsible parent?'" [Dr. Laura Blog]
• Vince Vaughn is actually engaged to 29-year-old Calgary realtor Kyla Weber, according to her dad. [Montreal Gazette]
• Blake Lively says when Gossip Girl returns on March 17 Serena will have a new love interest and "You get to see a little bit of the economy reflected on our show. There's a bit of a Bernie Madoff-type thing happening." [USA Today]
• Adele is apologizing to Justin Timberlake because she was overwhelmed backstage at the Grammys and didn't realize it was him when he congratulated her. "Justin, I love you and I'm really sorry ... for making it seem like I didn't want to meet you," says Adele. "I really did – and I don't think we can ever be friends because you're just too much. You're too good!" [Peopel]
• In this video a paparazzi asks Michelle Rodriquez, "How's your community service going?" and she shoots back, "How's your dick sucking going brother?" [Jossip]
• You can watch the commercial Helen Hunt directed for Frito-Lay snack brand TrueNorth here: [Ad Week]
• D.L. Hughley Breaks the News will end its run this month. CNN says Hughley approached them about ending the show because he wants to move to L.A. [Media Bistro]
• Jerry Seinfeld, Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Jason Alexander, and Michael Richards will be featured on a multi-episode story arc on HBO's Curb Your Enthusiasm this fall. [Entertainment Weekly]
• [AP]
• On the set of The Burning Plain Mexican director Guillermo Arriaga's friend Adrian would teach Charlize Theron swear words in Spanish and have her repeat them to the director. Theron says: "Adrian was like 'Go to Guillermo and say... I can't remember now, and I would say it really loud and half the crew understood it!" [The Mirror]
• Taylor Swift says: "My friends and I took pride in the fact that we were the weirdest girls at our school. We never fit in with the cool girls because we didn't really care what people thought. We had so much fun goofing off and being being crazy. We would go out to dinner in our prom dress, accessorized with scarves, fingerless gloves and costume jewelry. Sometimes we'd draw a beauty mark on our faces, wear a tiara and funny slippers. We didn't care!" [Perez Hilton]
• Michael Caine is playing an old man forced to enter a nursing home in his new film Is Anybody There? He says: "I don't think of me as an old man ... I play a guy, 75, 76, and I tell myself, 'He is not you. He is him. He's very sick. He is getting dementia. And he has a much harder life than you have.' I always like to stretch myself and do films that interest me. I thought he was a wonderful old man. I really loved him." [USA Today]
• Roseanne Barr wrote another lengthy blog post about Rihanna and Chris Brown. She says that Rihanna is sending out the message through her publicity team that she provoked Chris so he's not to blame. "I just know from experience that this is how show business works to conceal and excuse domestic abuse," she says. "I also know from experience that it is common that the woman throws the first insult or punch. the big dirty secret is that violent men are with violent women and vice versa. They continue to stay together so they can continue to be violent, break up and then make up, involving all their families and their friends in the whole sick and stinking charade. They both need to go to jail, if in fact she did hit him or terrorize him psychologically. I lived through this crap, and I know how it goes." [The Life Files]

[London, February 26. Image via Bauer-Griffin]

• French police say that paparazzi wearing camouflage (!) got on to the grounds of Angelina and Brad's chateau and scuffled with security guards on the property yesterday. Both sides filed legal complaints accusing the other of battery/injury (bruises, scratches, nothing serious.) Angie and Brad need guard dogs. So they can be all, "Smithers, release the hounds." [AP]
• "I won't hide for you that this kind of thing is really not the type of problem that interests us," says police captain Olivia Poupot. "There are, in my opinion, far more important things than paparazzi taking photos of a glamor couple." [Yahoo News]
• Christian Bale on his alleged assault against his mom and sister: "It’s a deeply personal matter." [The Sun]
• This was in Midweek Madness but seems like it actually might be true: Sean "Diddy" Combs, 38, is engaged to singer Cassie, 21. Good luck? [Star]
• Kirsten Dunst is directing a documentary about why Americans vote on Tuesday. Blame the farmers, people. Blame the farmers. [NY Magazine]

• Rachel Weiz is shooting a spread for Vogue and it could be Halloween-related, or she and this small child could be wearing copious amounts of feathers because chicken hawk is the new black. [The.Life Files]
• Samantha Morton is making her directorial debut with a drama for Channel 4 about a little girl growing up in a children's home. She says: "I was in care, but this film isn't about me." [Guardian]
• Danny Glover has had trouble raising funds for his movie about Haitian independence hero Toussaint-Louverture. "Producers said 'It's a nice project, a great project... where are the white heroes?'" Uh, seriously? [Breitbart]
• Justin Long remains "distraught" about his breakup with Drew Barrymore and has dropped out of the rollerderby comedy Whip It!, which is Drew's directorial debut. A source says: "He couldn't stand working with her and not being with her. He's too upset. She dumped him. She was hot and cold. One minute she was in love with him and the next she wanted to break up with him." [Yahoo News]
• Pete Doherty was in court yesterday, admitting to roughing up a paparazzo. Pete had to pay $2,000 in fees. (The incident happened last August.) [Yahoo News]
• "She sure knows how to milk publicity and create a publicity stunt." — Pharrell Williams on Madonna. [Mirror]
• Johnny Depp is turning his 40-acre getaway in the Bahamas into an eco-home. Solar hydrogen technology and whatnot. If you would gladly visit the location for an exhaustive investigative study to make sure all is well, raise your hand. [The Sun]
• Simon & Schuster is suing Foxy Brown and Lil' Kim, claiming the two rappers never delivered manuscripts for which they were paid book advances. Maybe because both ladies went to jail shortly after signing deals? [AP]
• It's official: The Brit papers are obsessed with Peaches Geldof. She was supposed to cover an iTunes festival on TV but the "bosses" are furious about reports that she OD'd recently. Also, Peaches has a new tattoo which this paper calls a noose but looks like a light bulb. [The Sun]
• "The original Klaatu was warm and fuzzy, more human than humans. I’m not that guy." — Keanu Reeves on his alien character in the December flick The Day The Earth Stood Still. [LA Times]
• James Iha and D'Arcy Wretzky-Brown, former Smashing Pumpkins members, are suing Virgin Records, claiming the label shut them out of profits after signing a deal with frontman Billy Corgan. All I have to say about this is that 1979 is a great song. [Yahoo News]
• Been seeing the posters around town: Pam Anderson is in a new reality show. Why? "I'm not worried about cleaning up my image," she says. "You know how you do things, and you don't really know why you're doing them until the end? I don't know why I'm doing this yet. I'm just know I'm an exhibitionist. Some people are afraid to be found. I'm afraid not to be found. It's one of those weird opportunities. And it was an incredible deal." [LA Times]
• Little Feud On The Prairie, hahaha. Nellie Olson in the news! [TMZ]
• The Kim Kardashian vs. Shanna Moakler showdown is really too boring to write about. [Yahoo News]
• Here's more on Shanna and Kim. Are they technically even celebrities? [Page Six]
• Kim Kardashian is buying wedding magazines and planning a ceremony not because she's engaged but so that "whenever I get asked there won’t be any drama." Wait, what? [People]
• Congrats to Marisa Jaret Winokur, who welcomed a son on Tuesday. Zev Isaac Miller, who was carried by a surrogate mother, weighed 8 pounds, 7 ounces and measured 21 inches long. Winokur is a cervical cancer survivor. [E!]
• Meg Ryan in a fat suit. For a movie, of course. She says: "I like a character who is all about transformation. She was enormous, and now she's foxy." [Daily Mail via ONTD]
• Producer Scott Storch is facing foreclosure on his $10 million Miami home. Tough times. [Page Six]
• Daisy Lowe is asking boyf Mark Ronson to help with the music for her mom's wedding. [Mirror]
• Elizabeth Berkley has an unscripted project for MTV: She does workshops around the country (called Ask-Elizabeth) with teen girls and gets them to open up about their issues, like self-esteem and body image; the show will be a documentary of sorts, featuring Elizabeth and the kids. Hopefully the girls won't Google Image Showgirls. [Reuters]
• "We met on the show. And we tried to keep it very professional on the show because we were both there for our careers, and we didn’t expect this to come out of it. But I’m really happy." Project Runway's Wesley, who is dating Project Runway's Daniel. [People]
• Leo DiCaprio's next project cold be a Twilight Zone movie. [Reuters]
• A Russian version of The Office! [Brietbart]
• John Cleese on his ex-wife. "Guess how much I'm paying her? £900,000 a year. And we had no children. It is astonishing." Bitter, party of one. [Mirror]
• Mick Jagger turns 65 on Saturday, making him eligible for state pension: $180 a week. Dude's fortune is estimated at $450 million, btw. [Reuters]
• "I think this one will be such a success, it will be difficult to do a sequel because we've done one and we've topped it, obviously, and now we've got to top this. That is difficult. That is difficult because we've already broken the box office (record) in American movie history. We've got to break our own record. It's hard." — Michael Caine on doing a Dark Knight sequel. [MSNBC]

First, Schoff. He slipped into the septic tank in his backyard while trying to get a piece of toilet paper unstuck. The writer fantasizes about punching Joel Osteen in the face the whole way to Schoff's house but Schoff doesn't have much to tell him about the experience:

"Didn't smell s'bad. Smelled like dirt, mostly. I was covered in it. Dirt, and some other stuff. I'm a celebrity. There goes the guy from TV. Last time I went to church was probably thirty-five years ago…No, I wasn't angry. I'm pretty active. I was thinking I was dead. Got m' good days and m' bad days.

Then, Gisele. Did you know Gisele owns some sort of extended-stay hotel in Santa Monica? That's about the most revealing thing we learn here:

Look, I know who I am, and I know where I come from. I think there is danger obviously when you're really young and they make you all glamorous and then you start thinking you are that… This is exactly how I would describe my work: I get there, I put on the clohtes, I leave it on the hanger, and I go home. And that's what I do.

And finally, Michael Caine. Would you believe he's been married to his wife for 35 years? That's just one year longer than the amount of time Bob Schoff has been married to his wife! Caine is in a higher tax bracket, of course. He talks about that. The tax rate used to be 82% in California, you know. (Wait, can I get the math on this? And think we could try it again sometime?) What else does he say? Not a whole lot. But this passage stuck out. For obvious reasons.

Is it true that in the '60s you used to drink two bottles of vodka a day? My God, that's impossible I used to drink a lot. Yeah. Vodka's very easy to drink and very nice. You can drink it with a lot of stuff.
Yeah, but two bottles a day. How would you work or sleep? Or eat? When would you have time to do anything? Along with eighty cigarettes!
It's a very long day. But I didn't do that when I was working. And I don't do that now That was a long time ago.

And he probably doesn't remember any of it. Anyway, that GQ, they sure tried! But I guess for now it's summer, and the only thing to do is drink it away.