You know the score here already: this is one of Grace Coddington's patented fairytale shoots, wherein familiar stories from childhood are re-enacted by teenage models in $15,000 outfits for the amusement of all. Sometimes these spreads have an enforced sweetness, like saccharin; always they make one wonder just what Bruno Bettelheim would have to say about a publication made by and for adult women finding so much material in sanitized re-tellings of Grimm, with 4" Fendi heels.

But this one hits all the right notes. Actor Andrew Garfield, as Hansel, is the perfect foil to Lily Cole's Gretel; the sumptuous costumes (look at those tree men!) come courtesy of the Metropolitan Opera, where Richard Jones' production of Hansel und Gretel takes the stage next month. (Let's hope it will be better than Tosca.) But only Coddington's styling could rise to such extraordinary surroundings.

And after Hansel and Gretel fall asleep in the forest...

...the wicked witch appears! In the form of Lady Gaga.

Coddington reports Gaga turned up at the shoot "stark naked except for her white rubber raincoat and some very, very high heels!"

Did Vogue just do something...edgy?

Naturally, Gaga's plan to fatten up the wily siblings fails. "Gaga was so bubbly and chatty and enthusiastic and excited to be alive," raves Coddington. Too bad she ends up in the oven, dead.

So the little ones who were made into gingerbread come back to life, here portrayed by Grace Church's Junior Choristers.

So there are quibbles anyone could make with this shoot. Annie Leibovitz, with the sense of treacly ponderousness she brings to every shot, wasn't the most exciting choice of photographer; one imagines what someone of Tim Walker's or Paolo Roversi's aesthetic sensibility could have done with this kind of material. And in a few too many shots, Lily Cole is caught in fake-looking poses; there's no intentionality, not even any tone to her arm, when she is supposed to be holding shut the oven door for dear life. Instead, she looks like she's sort of blankly resting against it. But casting Lady Gaga as a wicked witch was inspired. Whoever did that deserves a promotion.

Lady Gaga Joins Lily Cole And Andrew Garfield In A Recreation Of Hansel & Gretel [Style.com]

The Good:
Barbara Walters' grande dame blue just shouts "grand opera."
Ditto Martha's autumnal. Yes, it's a Good Thing. If you must.
Leaving aside the fact that Taylor Momsen has no business being here, she's dressed like a 30-year-old and it's probably past her bed time, this is a gorgeous gown.
Helena Christensen looks stunning. Say what you will about moddles, they know how to do clothes.
Molly Sims does "statuesque" to perfection. Even if she's walking that "David's Bridal" line.
This pink confection may be controversial, but I think model Hana Soukupova pulls it off where few could.


The Bad:
That's Tory Burch within those 20 yards of silk.
I really don't get this trend for otherwise classy gowns with random cutouts in the bodice. Maybe Julianna Marguiles can explain this to me.
I have no trouble believing that Christie Brinkley can fit into her clothes from 1985. But that doesn't mean she should.
I actually kind of like that Helen Mirren isn't like 100% on the ball all the time. She'd be too intimidating.
One hopes the bow on Parker Posey's dress enjoyed the show. Because it's really doing all the talking here.


The Ugly:
Yes. Real Housewife Alex McCord is wearing a "gown" made of a burlap sack.

[Images via Getty]

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• Gossip Girls Blake Lively, Leighton Meester and Michelle Trachtenberg have all "designed" Stuart Weitzman heels for charity. "Blake's candy-themed kicks (no doubt courting comparisons like "sweet" and "confectious") are going for the highest of the three at $300 - Leighton's in the middle and Michelle's on the right." [Fashionista]
• A petulant Oscar de la Renta is skipping the Metropolitan Opera's opening night for the first time in 20 years. He "was none too happy to learn that Renée Fleming’s onstage frocks for the affair were designed by Karl Lagerfeld, John Galliano and Christian Lacroix." Um, is his ticket going begging? Sounds better than fashion week! [WWD]
• Markets rebound a tad; retailers still panicky. [WWD]

• Uh oh. Amidst the recent financial turmoil, Prada has called off its widely-reported plan to go public this year, "making it the global financial turmoil's most high-profile fashion victim." [WSJ, WWD]
• The "Obama Effect" has done wonders for designer Thakoon, whose rose-colored frock Michelle sported on nom night. "I saw her on TV and I couldn't even look, I was so embarrassed from being excited,'"quoth he. [LA Times]
• Norwegian designer Peter Dundas joins venerable print-meisters Pucci as creative director. [IHT]
• Rumor — no, it really might just be a rumor — has it that Marc Jacobs is opening a store in Manhattan's East Village. Which, even if true, doesn't seem like that big a deal. [Fashionista]
• Thes auction Naomi "Siddhartha" Campbell organized for the White Ribbon Foundation was a big hit. "London’s big spenders outbid each other for looks donated by designers including Alexander McQueen, Zac Posen and Christopher Kane." [WWD]
• "Last year, Giorgio Armani told Time that PETA had persuaded him to drop fur from his designs, but his fall line includes fur coats for babies, floral-printed fur coats, fur-hemmed skirts and fur-trimmed jackets." PETA's pissed. So now they're going to go back to the always-effective plan A: harassing and heckling! [P6]
• Gap is opening in Mexico, stealthily: it'll be opening "stores within stores" in an established department store chain. [WSJ]
• A graphic designer named "Salvor" has teamed up with Rogan to lauch a capsule collection which, one assumes, will have a one-word name. [Fashionista]
• Fans of both clothes and Sonic Youth — read, anyone — must be thrilled about Kim Gordon's new line, Mirror/Dash. Even if, so far, it's just one jacket. [BlackBook]
• The New Yorker's panel talk on "The Future of Fashion": snooze or revelation? [Fashionista]
• "A Japanese designer and furrier, Chie Imai, has called her autumn 2008 collection of fur-trimmed capes and boleros Eco Harmony." The fabric is, indeed, recycled. The fur? The animals in question might take exception to the "harmony." PETA certainly would. [Independent]
• Sears is introducing these 3-D virtual dressing rooms that will allow you to "try" things on from home. If you thought store mirrors were dishonest...! [Reuters]
• Betsey Johnson loves being a grandma, fresh fish. [Fashion Informer]
• Fashion Fringe winner: "Go By A Secret Path, aka designer Eun Jeong Hong, yesterday earned herself a rather nice end of week treat in the shape of £100,000, as well as continuous support from the Fashion Fringe at Covent Garden team to kick start her professional design career." [VogueUK]
• Abercrombie and Fitch pioneers "scent ambience services" in its stores. Why am I having visions of the poppy field in the Wizard of Oz? [Breitbart]
• Wyndam Hotel employees will go green whether they like it or not, sporting "uniforms made with polyester fibers spun from plastic beverage bottles." All we can say is, whoever made that virtuous decision better be wearing Coke couture, too. [BrandWeek]
• A few royals hit Fashion Week, but paps mostly had to settle for Kate Middleton's little sister. [WWD]
• Pamela Anderson escorted by "a man in a white mask" at Vivienne Westwood show. [ElleUK]

• Keith Richards for Louis Vuitton = Awesome. [WWD, sub req'd]
  
• Amy Winehouse played a Fendi party in Paris and talked about her mumps onstage before offering some gratitude to, like, someone: "Thanks for asking me to play. Whoever asked me to play." [WWD, sub req'd]
  
• Meta Kate Olsen came dressed as Karl Lagerfeld for the Chanel show Friday. [WWD, 4th item]
  
• Miss J (Alexander of Top Model) to WaPo fashion critic Robin Givhan on a Nina Ricci model: "She has that hungry walk. She's mad because she's so hungry!" [Off the Runway]
  
• Formerly anorexic model Crystal Renn on why a girl's gotta eat: "How can you be happy if you're working out for five hours a day? People want to hire happy models. You need fat to think!" Um, modeling requires thought? [Telegraph]
  
• Who is the man who would wear Juicy Couture cologne? [BellaSugar]

• Sayeth Heidi Klum: "Victoria's Secret should do men's underwear, Seal would love that. Bloomers are just not cool, boxers are all right, but there are so many sexier things we could do for guys." Like, just get 'em naked? [Times of India]
• Expensive shit alert! The $110,000 purse, only at Bergdorf Goodman. [Chic Report]
• And on that note, Steve & Barry's (home of Sarah Jessica Parker's "Bitten" line) just received an $197 million loan from GE. [WWD, sub req'd]
• Agyness Deyn is England's best-dressed celeb. [Telegraph]
• Anna Wintour did not attend the Lanvin show in Paris on Friday. But French TV personality Mlle Agnes did...costumed as Wintour: "Getting through security was mighty speedy." [WWD, 2nd item]
• The perm is back! [Telegraph]
• Sean "Diddy" Combs: Helping people every day! Or at least designing scarves to benefit Dress for Success. [WWD, 2nd item]
• Donna Karan: Helping people every day! Or at least having a garage sale of her old shit in the name of charity. [WWD, sub req'd]
• Helena Christensen: Helping people every day! Or at least auctioning stamps with her kid's pic on them on eBay for charity. [Sassybella]
• Faced with the coming recession, women are cutting back on their spending habits before men are. [MediaPost]
• Yay for Lush for no longer using palm oil, since it's wicked bad for the environment. [Guardian]