• After barring a woman from helping her autistic sister try on clothes at the chain's Mall of America outpost, Abercrombie & Fitch was fined $115,264 for discrimination. Now we can say it definitively: Abercrombie doesn't like disabled people. [StarTrib]

• There are pictures of Threeasfour's inspiration boards, fabrics, and the in-progress pieces of its collection with Yoko Ono, which will be shown next week in New York. Ono contributed original artwork and inspiration to the collection, and the dot drawings that were transformed into original prints look fantastic with their repeated circular-organic shapes. [The Cut]
• Oprah is going to co-host next year's Met Ball. Oprah. Let that sink in. Co-hosting, of course, will be the woman who made her lose 20 pounds to be fit for the cover of her magazine: Anna Wintour. [Yahoo! News]
• This year's Met Ball model co-host, Kate Moss, stormed out of the GQ awards show in London because host James Nesbitt made a joke about her naked appearance on the cover of that magazine. She managed to interrupt Dizzee Rascal, who was being interviewed after accepting an award — twice. Once to storm out, and once to ask if anybody had seen her lipstick. [Telegraph]
• GQ anointed comedian and Little Britain star David Walliams as the most stylish man of 2009. He accepted the award wearing goggles and denim hotpants. [Mirror]
• Craig "Radioman" Schwartz, apparently some sort of serial movie set hanger-on, nearly rode his bicycle into Sarah Jessica Parker while she was filming for Sex And The City outside Bergdorf's. She stumbled over the curb. Do people really have nothing better to do than flashmob the SATC set? For the rest of the day, Parker was protected by ten bodyguards between takes. [WWD]
• Meanwhile, co-star Kristin Davis' line with Belk department stores has been discontinued, and the actress' planned New York Fashion Week show canceled. Belk and Davis say the decision was mutual. [The Cut]
• Three words: Lady Gaga Headphones. (No, she's not doing a side project with David Bazan.) [Engadget]
• The house of Ungaro has tapped Lindsay Lohan as an "artistic adviser" and relatively unknown designer Estrella Archs as its chief designer. When the Lindsay-for-Ungaro rumor started — back before the young, talented Colombian designer Esteban Cortazar had been fired — it sounded like crazy talk. Now it's happening. "Odds are it could work," says C.E.O. Mounir Moufarrige. [WWD]
• Heidi Klum, on that time Karl Lagerfeld sneered that he didn't know who she was, and that she was obviously fat anyway: "It's bizarre to me that he says he doesn't know who I am because he's dressed me in the past. I've worn Karl Lagerfeld. Not even Chanel – his line. Lagerfeld doesn't just send random things everywhere." Klum in fact wore Lagerfeld to the CFDA awards a few years back. [P6Mag — story not online yet]
  
• Fashion success story Christopher Kane, on childhood: "I was this wee kid who just stayed in the house, watching The Clothes Show with my mum and scrooging all the money from my first communion." [ToL]
• Model Crystal Renn, who was directed as a 14-year-old to lose 9" off her hips in order to work in the industry, and struggled for years with anorexia and exercise bulimia as a result, says that Glamour magazine was the only client who ever noticed her eating disorder, and took action by calling her then-agency, Next. Not that she was appreciative as a frightened young teen: "At the time, I was really embarrassed because someone had figured me out. They called it and brought it to light. I wasn't only not only not pleasing my agency but I wasn't pleasing Glamour. When I became a healthy model like I am now, they were one of the first people to shoot me at this size, and that says something." Renn, whose memoir Hungry came out yesterday, would like to have a plus-size clothing line because she says her rock 'n' roll aesthetic is under-represented in the larger sizes. [GlamChic]
• Tara Moss, who modeled for 10 years, now writes crime novels. And she does her own stunts: to research events for her books, she tries to experience the things her characters feel. In addition to spending days in morgues and courtrooms, flying fighter jets, and being set on fire, she has had an Ultimate Fighter choke her until she lost consciousness. [Reuters]
• Hadley Freeman says, of the attempts by models too numerous to name to raise awareness about the industry's working conditions, "The fact that all these efforts have come from models as opposed to the outside media (which gets too distracted with painting models as evil fem-bots and harbingers of eating disorders to see them as underpaid homesick teenagers), suggests maybe people find the idea of models making them feel fat more upsetting than the very real fact of models being raped." The serial rapist designer Anand Jon Alexander was sentenced to 59 years in prison this week; other sources interviewed for this story express amazement that any of his victims, all young models over whom he had authority, came forward at all. [Guardian]
• Anna Sui's Gossip Girl-inspired Target collection launches this weekend online and in 600 stores nationwide — and today, if you live in New York and are willing to go to a pop-up store in a townhouse on Crosby St. [WWD]
• A woman told the Post that sometimes she goes to Yigal Azrouël's Meatpacking District store to try on clothes "just to be naked in the same room with him." Azrouël is sexy and all, but that's just creepy. [NYPost]
• This story about Fashion's Night Out, which is tomorrow, includes an unexpected reference to Fitzgerald. Then Anna Wintour says, "What am I looking to buy? Something in red, some new boots, and some kind of savage fur (that's American Vogue shorthand, so you know, for a rough, shaggy stole or collar of some kind). It's not a lot, but isn't that the whole point of shopping these days." [ToL]
• Club Monaco locations in New York City will be serving champagne until 11 p.m., and the SoHo store will have a cupcake truck outside until September 12th. [FWD]
• The Financial Times' coverage of Fashion's Night Out casts Wintour as Ben Bernanke in a grand fashion stimulus plan. [FT]
• Wintour's appearance on Letterman drew slightly higher ratings than the show's average for the week and month, but ABC's Nightline still won the timeslot. [WWD]
• "Would I think twice about buying a dress that costs $2,000? Yeah! Of course I would. I'd try it on and go home and think about it before I bought it," says Victoria Beckham. Nonetheless, she says that demand for her uber-expensive dress line is outstripping supply. [People]
• Robin Givhan reports that now, the time just before Fashion Week, is a period of "soul-searching and hand-wringing" for designers and the industry. [WaPo]
• Neiman Marcus suffered a $168.6 million loss during the fourth quarter. Revenues decreased 24%. [WWD]
• Yesterday, Gap-owned e-tailer Piperlime started selling designer clothes, in addition to shoes. [NYTimes]
• Same-store sales at Laura Ashley rose 6.7%, to £101.5m. [FT]

• Kylie Minogue was in Jean Paul Gaultier's front row yesterday because she's looking for outfits for her American tour, which kicks off in October. Might we suggest this? [Elle UK]

• In the 1930s aesthetic of some of the couture shows — especially Gaultier's — some observers see the influence of our current economic crisis. We'd argue that anyone who saw Jean Paul Gaultier's crocodile overalls and furs and thought "This is the new frugality!" is blind, but whatever. [Reuters]
• Marc Jacobs is extending his reach in the West Village of Manhattan. The designer already has five stores in a radius of as many blocks, but he still expects to open a sixth in the neighborhood next February. The space, at the corner of Bleecker and West 11th Sts., has been occupied by the Biography Book Shop for over 20 years. "The space is now worth eight times what the Biography Book Shop was paying," said building owner Alexander Brodsky, who added that Marc Jacobs would be paying more than $400/sq. ft. The fate of the book store is unknown. [WWD]
• And here's Jacobs on those bunny ears Madonna wore to the Met ball, which she also sports in the fall Louis Vuitton ad campaign: "There's a girl who works for us, Lucy, she's on the design team, and Adrian, one of the boys, was tying a little bit of fabric around and it reminded me of bunny. We were thinking of all these different things like can-can dancers, and I saw this piece of fabric wrapped around Lucy's head and said, 'Bunny ears, that's what we need to finish this look.' So we made all these radzimir bunny ears and that's how it happened. I like the kind of Playboy, French coquette aspect to it." Jacobs also referred obliquely to the extensive use of Photoshop — "The solarization that they're doing to the pictures is going to give a really dramatic effect" — and confirmed that the painter Tamara de Lempicka had been a reference. [Fashionologie]
• Celebrity fashion lines are not faring well in the market downturn. A round-up of those that have closed: Mandy Moore's Mblem, Heidi Montag's Heidiwood, and Jennifer Lopez's Sweetface and JLO by Jennifer Lopez. Paris Hilton also closed her unsuccessful line with Dollhouse, and Lauren Conrad put her clothing line "on hiatus" (although she did hit back with a lower-priced range for Kohl's). Interestingly, lines where the celeb doesn't have the star branding role — Justin Timberlake's William Rast, Gwen Stefani's L.A.M.B., Jay-Z's Rocawear — are proving more resilient. [WWD]
• That doesn't mean fashion houses don't still believe celebs can move product. Marion Cotillard is in another new ad for Dior's Lady Dior handbag. [GlamChic]
• Diane von Furstenberg totally wishes Brüno had crashed one of her shows. [WWD]
• New York bumped into prominent couture consumer Daphne Guinness on the street, and asked her about her outfit. Guinness was wearing a fitted black dress by L'Wren Scott, black scarves, asymmetrical cat-eyed sunglasses, and 7" red platform Mary-Jane heels. [The Cut]
• An exhibit at the Museum at FIT, which opened Tuesday, explores fashion's relationship with politics. Included is everything from white suits worn by suffragettes to Jean-Charles de Castelbajac's sequined dress with Obama's face. Of course, also still open at the Museum at FIT is the Isabel Toledo retrospective that features Michelle Obama's inauguration day outfit. [WWD]
• We've officially found the limits of Mrs. Obama's fashion appeal: Russia, apparently, is immune to the charms of her sheath dresses and belts. "Her clothes are modest and neutral," said local designer Denis Simachev. A Russian fashion historian attributed the cool reaction to a difference in taste, the Russian being somewhat more outré: "A lot of Russians think that when something shines, it's beautiful." [WWD]
• Meanwhile, the White House is locked in a war of words with an Italian luxury goods brand over a clutch purse. VBH claims that Michelle Obama carried its black crocodile envelope clutch, sticker price $5,950, during a meet-and-greet with President Medvedev and his wife Svetlana. The White House says the purse was a black patent clutch that cost $875. Please let the Obamas not be stupid enough to lie about something so minor and so easily disproven. [NYDN]
• Everybody's favorite pervy photographer, Terry Richardson, is being immortalized in a 7.5" action figure. [Slamxhype]
• The Wall Street Journal road-tested some vegan shoes, and found that faux leather and suede are getting realer looking by the minute. Pity two of their four offerings cost over $150, and one costs over $1,200. [WSJ]
• Isaac Mizrahi curated a summer show at the Julie Saul Gallery in Chelsea, which opens tonight. The busy designer modestly says the principal theme is just "work I like by people I like," but Mizrahi goes on to explain how his famous sense of color has been informed by his favorite artists over the years. "Every time I think about color I refer to Julia Sherman," says Mizrahi. "Those Julia Sherman reds next to pale, pale pink, my Spring collection is going to be all about that. I feel like people are really open to color now. When I launched in ‘87 and I did super-bright colors, they loved it, but they didn't buy it. They'd shoot it, they'd laud it, but they'd wind up buying black. I'm talking about New York, now. The South is a different story-that's always been a haven for me. But here in the city, these days-it's nuts, color is what flies off the rack. My own line, and Liz Claiborne, too. More color sells better."
  [Style.com]
• Shoe designer Jimmy Choo says you should wash your feet in warm, salted water every night before you go to bed. Also he says that Malaysia is beautiful and you should visit. [Daily Mail]
• In case you're not already reading BryanBoy, plus Susie Bubble, the Sartorialist, Jak & Jil, and Fashion Toast, here are a few reasons why you might want to.
  [TDB]
• Once upon a time, Kira Plastinina was just another teenaged Russian orange juice heiress with a love for pink clothes. Then Kira wanted a fashion chain, so her dad bought her one. The stores did well enough in her home country and in Ukraine, but Plastinina had her her eyes set on a higher prize: the American market. So her dad agreed to pay for Kira Plastinina stores all over the East and West coasts, and threw a launch party/16th birthday where he paid Paris Hilton and Usher to show up. Within seven months, the whole hot-pink operation had been shuttered, and Kira's U.S. vehicle, the K.P. Clothing Co., was in Chapter 7 liquidation with debts of over $54 million. Which outcome, one might think, would put paid to little Kira's notions of world chain store domination — but no! Cleverly disguised under a new business name (Pink Square) and a new brand (K. Plastinina), the teenaged tycoon reopened two of her former Los Angeles locations. Which is where protesters from a building company that did $2.5 million worth of unpaid work went to go find her yesterday. "The point of all this is that there are still people suffering because of what [the company] did," says Aaron Rectenwald, who built Kira eight of her original American stores. "We haven't gotten the attention of management yet so we'll be coming back until we do." [WWD]
• The 17 workers suing New York-based retailer Scoop for allegedly giving them bogus promotions to salaried positions to avoid paying them overtime staged a protest outside Scoop's SoHo store yesterday. The former employees, most of whom are from West Africa, also allege that Scoop fired people who were in fact legal residents for supposed immigration violations. Scoop's current owners released a statement that read, "Although these allegations are against Scoop's previous management, we've conducted an internal audit to insure the company is in compliance with local, state and federal wage and hour laws. Scoop's current wage and hour practices are conducted in accordance with all state, local and federal laws." The chain's founding owners had no comment. [WWD]
• Gap Inc. expects to expand into Thailand by next Spring. The company as a whole will, however, close more stores than it will open in the next fiscal year — 100 compared to just 50. [WSJ]
• Over 3,000 pairs of Charles by Charles David high heeled shoes sold at Nordstrom Rack from April to June of this year are being recalled. The recall affects various colors and styles of shoe, and was put into effect because the heels of the shoes can easily detach while the wearer is walking. If you're affected, you can take yours back to the store for a full refund. [UPI]

• Madonna's fall campaign for Louis Vuitton leaked online, and the star — captured by Steven Meisel and 23 psychedelic Photoshop layers — sort of looks like a marble statue. [Fashionologie]

• Roberto Cavalli's and Gianfranco Ferré's Fall 2009 campaigns are also out. In the sense of "On the Internet," not in the sense of "In the magazines." [FWD]
• 50 Cent's new fragrance deal, for the scent "Power", is unusual in that the star is not simply licensing his name to a company. He actually is a part-owner of Lighthouse Beauty, the business that will release Power. The other partners are a veritable who's-who of the fragrance industry. [WWD]
• Clements Ribeiro is the latest British fashion house to announce its intention to return to London Fashion Week for its 25th anniversary. The husband-and-wife design duo join Burberry, Pringle of Scotland, Jonathan Saunders, and Matthew Williamson, in showing their respective Spring 2010 collections in London. Clements Ribeiro last showed in London in September 2005. [Telegraph]
• Expectant Victoria's Secret superstar Adriana Lima's wedding to Marko Jaric was witnessed only by the couple's lawyers. "It was really romantic," said the model. Lima said she doesn't know the sex of her baby, due in December, and hopes to have a large family. [People]
• eLuxury.com is closing its doors as a retailer today. (Last-minute sale items are an additional 50% off, so if you want Alexander Wang jeans for $375 $75, or a D&G corset dress for $495 $148.50, now's your moment.) Apparently, eLuxury is planning to relaunch itself as a social networking site dedicated to...luxury. Because in this economy, talking about fancy shit online is still free. [WWD]
• Supermodel Angela Lindvall has designed a t-shirt for Edun, Ali Hewson's organic, sustainably-produced fashion line (which is newly owned by luxury mega-company LVMH). The shirt is blue with a white design that Lindvall says "was created from the shadows of trees. Our shadow side is what sometimes pushes us to grow." [Fashionista]
• Style.com traced the influence of Kate Moss's gold lamé Marc Jacobs dress and Stephen Jones turban from the Met Ball through the Resort collections. As if we were ever in any doubt that Ms. Moss's style cuts a long swath. [Style.com]
• Patrick Dempsey's new scent for Avon (?!) is to be appropriately named: Patrick Dempsey 2. [WWD]
• The first rule of working for fashion publicist Kelly Cutrone is: Do not blog about Kelly Cutrone. When the fashion publicist caught one of her summer interns — an NYU student, natch — writing about her online, she took the girl aside and said: "I'm going to sue the fuck out of your family if you don't take it down immediately and your college tuition is going to seem like a pittance after you face my wrath." [The Cut]
• Reebok is launching a maternity division for its NFL line. [WWD]
• Michelle Obama wore Lanvin yesterday, should you care. [The Cut]
• Brooke Burke, her fiancé, and her four kids, ages 1, 2, 7, and 9, are going to do a Skechers ad as one big happy family. No word on how much the clan nets. [WWD]
• Zac Posen did his part for Gen Art at the fashion incubator's fund-raiser Wednesday night. Also? Zac Posen is totally that guy at the art opening who'll say, "I like the Sol LeWitt technique put into something figurative..." [Style.com]
• Escada, the struggling fashion house who earlier this year announced its debt had risen to €187.6 million, and its cash on hand had dwindled to just €24.7 million, is about to launch the €200 million bond-exchange program the company hopes will raise it enough cash to emerge from this recession intact. Bondholders, starting Monday, will be encouraged to exchange their old bonds for new ones, at an early-bird rate of €400 in new bonds per €1,000 in old bonds previously held. (After July 14, the bond exchange will net bondholders €375 per €1,000 in debt.) The exchange will only go forward if 80% of bondholders agree to it, but the company says all the preconditions are set. Its two major shareholders, the billionaire brothers Wolfgang and Michael Herz, who together own 24.9% of Escada, are on board. [WWD]
• Hartmarx has won court approval to be sold to the private equity firm Emerisque Brands. Emerisque bid $128.4 million for the bankrupt men's clothier, and pledged to retain many of the company's 4,000, mostly Chicago-based, workers. Biggest creditor Wells Fargo bank had argued that Hartmarx should be liquidated to cover its $261 million debt. [NYTimes]
• Customs and Border Patrol seized 10,900 pairs of counterfeit Nike shoes off the docks in Los Angeles. The imitation shoes had a face value of $1.8 million. [WWD]

• Rihanna was the big show-stopper at the Met Ball: Celebs cheered when she took the stage to perform. And! At an after-party, guess who RiRi was in deep convo with?

None other than Ms. Anna Wintour. Will someone be gracing the pages of Vogue very soon? [Gatecrasher]

• Have people stopped returning Lindsay Lohan's phone calls? Apparently Pharrell Williams had offered to help her revive her music career, she tells Interview: "He's an amazing guy. He's only been really kind to me whenever I've met him. He said, 'I'd love to make a great record with you, but I want to take you out of all the elements that you're used to. Let's go away. Let's go somewhere nice where you can be focused, and let's make an album there.'" Of course, she hasn't heard from him since and says: "Pharrell, please call me back!" [Daily Express]
• It seems that Kiefer Sutherland did indeed intentionally headbutt Proenza Schouler designer Jack McCollough, who allegedly knocked over Brooke Shields; Kiefer was coming to Brooke's rescue or something. Met Ball dramz! [TMZ]
• Brooke Shields' rep is saying "nothing happened to her" and "Jack did nothing inappropriate. It's not clear what caused Kiefer to do what he did." [TMZ]
• A source says Kiefer Sutherland "was really drunk and he got accidentally bumped by McCollough. They started arguing and then he just head-butted him." Hmm. Kiefer's been arrested for DUI twice. [Page Six]
• More on this in Midweek Madness, but Us magazine is confirming that star of Jon & Kate Plus 8 Jon Gosselin, 32, has been having an affair with third grade school teacher Deanna Hummel, 23. [Just Jared]
• Amy Winehouse's dad is kicking "freeloading pals" out of her hotel room in St. Lucia — her two friends Violetta and Thalia were having "all-day boozing sessions" on Amy's dime. A source says: "Amy performs for the first time in ages at the St Lucia Jazz Festival this week. Mitch knows she has to get it right." [The Sun]
• Paula Abdul is saying pain killers are to blame for when she would "get weird." [MSNBC Scoop]
• Madonna is planning a concert in St. Petersburg, Russia, but local authorities are calling it a "natural disaster" and want "guarantees that there will be no blasphemy." Ha! [Page Six]
• Victoria Beckham wears her sunglasses at night. In the rain. [The Sun]
• Excellent news: Mindy Kaling has a new deal with NBC; she'll continue to write for and appear on The Office next season while simultaneously developing a comedy in which she would also star. She says: "This is my first step in a Transformers-style way to take over the whole world." [Variety]
• Holy gray T-shirt! These pictures of Simon Cowell's new £15million mansion which looks over the Hollywood Hills are absolutely stunning. [Daily Mail]
• In a deposition regarding a lawsuit that Paris Hilton didn't do enough to promote 2006 box office bomb Pledge This, Paris says she promoted the flick "any chance I got." Her lawyer says, "She's the single busiest person on the planet." [AP]
• "Robert Pattinson 'baffled' by fans." [Mirror]
• The weight watchers have moved from Jessica and Lindsay to the King of Pop: Michael Jackson has allegedly been warned that he is "too thin" and needs to gain about 20 lbs before his 50 live shows in the UK. [The Sun]
• Details on Maggie Gyllenhaal and Peter Sarsgaard's wedding! It took place in a cloister of a convent that's a luxury bed and breakfast in Brindisi, Italy; Jake and Reese were there; guests mingled in the garden, which features a pool, wines from the nearby town of Lecce were served. [People]
• Oprah's Twitter stunt of offering everyone in America a free chicken dinner: Newsworthy. [Time]
• Speaking of Ms. Winfrey, you knew this would happen: Susan Boyle will be on Oprah. [Daily Express]
• Yesterday was Chris Brown's birthday; he turned 20 and it was "low-key." [People]
• Mia Farrow is ten days into her hunger strike for Darfur. A few days ago she said: "At this point I don't think about food. I am weaker and I am mostly in bed. I am clear-minded. I sleep less." She also says: "No one voted for President Obama with more excitement and passion than I did, but he's really been lagging and the people of Darfur can't wait." [Guardian]
• Mia Farrow is documenting her fast on YouTube. [Page Six]
• Joel Madden went on a Twitter rant after he and baby Harlow were surrounded by photographers at an airport: "Let me just say shame on any magazine or blog that post pics of us in the miami airport. The photographers were acting like animals. it was the first time i've ever seen my child scared. Not cool for any parent to see. At least in LA they gave us some space. These guys were sticking flashes in her face and bumping in to us and yelling. The most unnecessary force i've ever seen." [Perez]
• Village Voice columnist Michael Musto says Miss California USA once posed with "trannie extraordinaire" Amanda Lepore. He asked Amanda about it, but she says: "I don't remember meeting her. You know how many pictures I take!" Of Carrie Prejean's pageant answer, Ms. Lepore says: "That was stupid. She could never make a career in TV. Gays monopolize everything! She's a dummy! Now she's trying to have churches help her. That doesn't sound promising. But at least she has big tits. She can marry a high roller and have miserable kids that hate her." Musto adds: "All thanks to opposite marriage!" [Village Voice]
• Unfake my heart: A Las Vegas entertainer faces fraud charges for impersonating Toni Braxton. [AP]
• Back in the '90s, Bono wrote a poem about Elvis; it will be broadcast on the UK's Radio 4 on May 13. [The Sun]
• Rachel Weisz will star in an indie political drama, The Whistleblower, which is based on the true story of a female cop from Nebraska who serves as a peacekeeper in post-war Bosnia and exposes a United Nations cover-up of a sex trafficking scandal. [Variety]
• Will Ferrell is in talks to star in a comedy called Neighborhood Watch, directed by the guy who did Wedding Crashers. [Variety]
• Cameron Diaz plays the mother of a sick child in My Sister's Keeper, and although she appears bald in the film, didn't shave her head: She only needed to be bald for one day of shooting. [LA Times]
• Kate Walsh's divorce continues to be a mess. [TMZ]
• Debbie Matenoppoulos will get $3,595 per month in spousal support from her ex, Jay Faires. She currently lives in the couple's home and is responsible for paying all expenses, including the mortgage. [Radar Online]
• Shimmy shimmy ya: Ol' Dirty Bastard will be memorialized in an upcoming documentary and a series of tribute albums, all produced by his cousin Raison Allah Iceman. [Telegraph]
• Blind item! "Which very taken Oscar winner has been sending lots of flowers to a pretty fashion publicist?" [Gatecrasher]
• "There are many duos we wanted to draw from. Something as eccentric as The Odd Couple to Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid, Withnail and I and Laurel and Hardy. It's the kind of friendship you can only have with someone of the same sex, a person you adore but who infuriates you." — Jude Law on the relationship between Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson in Guy Ritchie's new flick Sherlock Holmes. [USA Today]
• "There's tons of stuff in my name. I mean, if I told you how many Facebook pages have my name on it, you wouldn't believe it. But I am going to join Facebook. I've been doing the MySpace thing a long time and I realize a lot of people are doing Twitter, I just don't want to know what people are doing every single second of their day. I find it a little invasive, but people are into it. To each their own. I don't have the desire to send out messages all day long. That's not me. I'd rather be doing something else." — Zach Braff [Time]

• Vogue subscribers are lured with a free-gift gimmick that looks...different when it comes in the mail. Of course, subscribing to Vogue is basically scheduling disappointment monthly, but the bait-and-switch is not normally so overt. [NYPost]

• Natalie Portman would very much like to tell you about some t-shirt brand she likes. Band tees are a great way of learning about music, see! [Daily Beast]
• Lauren Hutton might miss the Met ball, which is themed around models this year, because a young surfer accidentally rammed his board into her knee in Hawaii, causing ligament damage. "The only thing that's holding our foreleg bones attached to our thigh bones are these little ligaments around the knee," said Hutton. "And once they go, the bones fall sideways inside the bag of skin. It was like one of those Halloween skeletons." The supermodel, currently in LA, cannot walk without crutches. Her date, Michael Kors, will probably understand if she stays home. [Daily Intel]
• Fellow famously made-up face Isabella Rossellini is pretty sure Lancôme regrets dumping her back in 1995 for being soooooo old. But she made her money and now does videos about the sex lives of animals. Lancôme contents itself with Rossellini's daughter, Elettra Wiedemann. [WWD]
• "I'm Not A Plastic Bag" designer Anya Hindmarch says, "Accessories are how women accent their character; they are a form of self-expression. If you see someone carrying a tatty, beaten-up handbag, full of crumbs, doesn't it kind of make you wonder if their house is just like that, too?" She would say that, wouldn't she? [Telegraph]
• Adriana Lima, the Brazilian model best known for wearing giant wings and Bedazzled bras for Victoria's Secret and looking hot on the covers of men's magazines, stunned when she walked for Givenchy in Paris. (Normally, the fashion industry likes to draw as bright a line as possible between camp and the "real" stuff.) Could she be working herself out from under the taint of commercial lingerie to take on a Givenchy campaign for fall? And does that mean Lima is transforming into a Gisele-style double threat, who magically gets bookings for Dior and drugstore makeup at the same time? [Fashionologie]
• Hudson St. in New York's West Village has 15 empty storefronts on one six-block stretch — and, like, 14 Marc Jacobs, Marc by Marc Jacobs, and Ralph Lauren shops. Some see a connection: one retailer, who did not want to be named, said that when businesses' leases turn over, landlords are asking for steep increases in rent, because the high-end retailers are able to pay up to $60,000/month. "They are killing the Village," the man said. "Ten years ago — mom-and-pop stores gone, restaurants gone, they're all gone." [The Villager]
• Tao Okamoto, the hot "new" Japanese model with the interesting haircut, bagged the Fall Ralph Lauren campaign — and, according to rumor, the Fall ads for the Polo Ralph Lauren line, too. [Style.com]
• Nadja Swarovski, scion of the Austrian crystal concern, is a pretty brilliant businesswoman who's taken her family's product from an icon of kitsch to the raw material of fashion's avant garde. But that's not what makes this profile writer like her: the fact that she feels she doesn't see her kids often enough ("much as one rushes to reassure, she is probably right," notes the Times) is the chink in the armor that lets her feel comfortably pitying. The profile is sprinkled with German words, but unfortunately Schadenfreude is not one of them, so let me insert it here. [Times of London]
• Robin Givhan writes this week about the Museum at FIT's announcement of its upcoming Isabel Toledo exhibit, and the question of fashion exhibits in general. The most popular clothing shows are inevitably those organized around a celebrity name, like Jackie O's at the Met; "It's an ongoing battle," Givhan writes, "in fashion exhibitions: the scholarly preference for the clothes to stand on their own and the public fascination with the back story." [WaPo]
• Stila, the makeup brand recently rumored to be facing bankruptcy, has been saved at the 11th hour by a New York private-equity firm. Patriarch Partners will acquire the brand from Wachovia and CIT Group, the banks that took Stila over after it defaulted on debt obligations. [WSJ]
• Filene's Basement is in a similarly dire position — facing bankruptcy and courting buyers. The discount chain closed 11 stores in January, but its parent company said Friday that the cost-cutting moves are "not likely to lead to sustainable operations for Filene's Basement." How is it possible that "it's like a department store, but everything's on sale" is a failing business model at this juncture? [Crain's]
• Valentino's operating profits fell 7% in 2008, the year its founder and namesake retired. [WWD]
• J. Crew opened a beach-themed store in Malibu. [LA Times]
• Headstrong model Elle MacPherson popped home to Sydney for Easter, and made a supermarket deli worker come out from behind the counter to load her cart. Then she snapped at a gossip columnist and micro-managed a television appearance. [News.com.au]

• Thierry Mugler meets Sasha Fierce: a match made in shoulderpad superhero sparkle heaven. Mugler says he was exploring "The duality between being a woman and a warrior." [WWD]

• Working in the same vein, or perhaps just remembering last year's Met Ball, Marvel comics is planning a major move into women's apparel, jewelry, and cosmetics in 2009. Since what Marvel owns are characters — more than 5,000 in total — the design options are almost limitless. This deal could be great news for women who already feel like part-time superheroes; unfortunately, the t-shirt illustrating this story has an image of the Incredible Hulk, Captain America, the Flash, and Thor playing in a band, with the slogan "I Heart Boys That Rock!" Weaksauce, Marvel. [WWD]
• Lauren Bush's clothing line, which is sold under her middle name, Lauren Pierce, hits Barneys today. The line is mostly day and cocktail dresses and pretty skirts — with a few reversible capes thrown in for good measure — but with a twist: the classic, vaguely preppy silhouettes are constructed out of eco-friendly fabrics hand-dyed by women with a sustainable business plan in the Democratic Republic of Congo. Ten per cent of profits from the line go to charities in the source country. [VF]
• Ladies of a certain age, rejoice: Teri Agins says it's A-okay for you all to be wearing animal print. In fact, the suggestions she has are exactly the same for women of all ages — go for small-scale prints, buy garments with classic lines, and wear only one or two printed items at a time. [WSJ]
• It's campaign season, and the rumors are a-swirlin'. YSL is said to be choosing Christy Turlington for its fall ads, Balenciaga has opted for a group of celebrities, shot by Stephen Meisel, and word is Calvin Klein is using Monika "Jac" Jagaciak, one of the brand's exclusives from the fall show. All scuttlebutt, of course, so make allowances for salt, etc. [Fashionologie]
• Hong Kong-based sourcing behemoth Li & Fung (who recently paid Liz Claiborne $83 million for a long term exclusive sourcing agreement) says its net income has fallen 21%. [WWD]
• Widely influential men's wear designer Thom Browne's namesake line is said to be facing bankruptcy. Browne has been looking for a financial backer for over a year, despite his lucrative sideline deals with Brooks Brothers Black Fleece — which runs through 2011 — and Harry Winston and Moncler. [NY Post]
• Swarovski is cutting an additional 600 production jobs at its Austrian headquarters. The move follows 700 layoffs last year, and another round of 500 job cuts is being pondered. [WWD]
• J. Crew, following a fourth quarter loss of $13.5 million, is trying to adjust to recession-altered patterns of consumer spending. Accordingly, it will continue the expansion of its lower-priced Madewell line. There are presently 12 Madewell stores, and the company plans to open eight more in 2009. [Mediapost via Teenfashionista]
• Which is funny, because Fergie has the same idea. She's coming out with not one but two lines of footwear. "Fergie" will sell for $89-129, and "Fergalicious" will be $39-69. Which still frankly seems like a lot to pay to look like a pop star's feet. [NY Post]
• Gwyneth Paltrow will be "designing" a range for the French label ZOETees this fall. I wonder if they'll let her do $400 cashmere socks? [Sassybella]
• One good deal in any economy: free shit! Topshop, which is promising cross its fingers hope to die that the store at Broadway and Broome St. will finally open this April 2nd, has a van circling downtown New York as a promotional stunt. Which would be crass and silly and unworthy of coverage if it weren't for the fact that Topshop's clothes are generally amazing. The van is giving away goodie bags and gift cards of varying amounts, and you can follow it online. [Topshop]