While Bess Rattray's essay feels like part of Vogue's conspicuous recent push to run more "serious" content - albeit safely online - it's a piece worth reading. Rattray, like Madonna, has adopted a little girl from Africa. And while this might imply a certain solidarity, Rattray's feelings are ambivalent.

I would like to think that Madonna had pretty much the same motivation I did when I adopted an eleven-month-old girl named Nettie Tesfanesh from Ethiopia a year ago: She wanted a child, and if that child could come from a place where millions of kids live without safe homes and loving arms, well, all the better. Yes, OK, it's always to the greater good when a celebrity adoption gets us talking about Africa's children-so why could the sound of smacked foreheads be heard in multiracial families across America? Because the talk that results when a white Western superstar-sporting an $800 haircut and Parisian safari gear-"rescues" a black child is not usually an enlightening dialogue on AIDS orphans, or how money can best be spent to address poverty. In the hands of the tabloids, it's more like an outtake from Brüno.

In other words, whatever the motivation, these celebrity adoptions run the risk of reducing the act to a fad - or worse, to politicizing the dynamic in ugly ways. And of course, with Madonna, everything's different. It's like, is Madonna a role model for single moms? Is she showing how strong and independent a woman can be, that she's perfectly capable of taking on the challenges of parenting alone? Not really; Madonna has nothing to do with the challenges of the average single mother. Maybe in some contexts, a newly-single woman adopting a child could serve as an empowering example, in Madonna's it's... not. Simply put, no one would think to compare Madonna to other single moms. They will, however, compare her to other white women adopting African children, and while in one sense this is equally unreasonable, in others it's inevitable.

Madonna, Rattray notes, has further muddied the waters by, in both her adoptions of children from Africa, engaging in custody battles with the children's families, further increasing the impression of colonial entitlement that already, inevitably, hangs over the business. Says Rattray,

What is so irksome to workaday adoptive parents like me, is ...why Madonna, who adopted a boy named David to much criticism in 2006, decided to adopt another child from a country that doesn't have an established, transparent adoption system. In reputable adoption countries-which include China, Russia, and South Korea-there are elaborate checks and balances in place to guard against baby-trading and to protect the rights of a child's birth parents.

In contrast, Rattray says her adoption of her daughter, Nettie, was carefully supervised, and requires periodic updates and contact with Nettie's family. The writer finds it frustrating that Madonna's cavalier approach, the seeming ease with which she and Angelina acquire children, serves to trivialize both the seriousness of the process for most parents, and their motivations.

It was important to me to adopt a baby who might otherwise languish in an institution, scramble to stay alive on the streets-or die. People often ask why I didn't adopt in the United States, and, boiled down, my answer is that I wanted an infant, I wanted to go where the need was greatest, and I was open to a child born to a mother infected with HIV. In the States, there are families waiting around the block to adopt healthy infants, while in East Africa, formal foster-care and domestic-adoption systems are more or less unheard of. It's never easy to leap through the flaming hoops of paperwork and bureaucracy, especially as a single parent, but my year-and-a-half journey to motherhood via a remote, coffee-growing hill town called Mudula was relatively smooth, even speedy, in relation to most international adoptions.

Rattray acknowledges, however, that this dynamic will always, to a degree, be fraught. Given the burden of context, it simply is - hence the frustration when a star seems to reduce it even further to cliche. Take last year's controversy surrounding Italian-Brit artist Vanessa Beecroft's work. She says it's art that plays with ideas of colonialism. Critics say it can do this and still be racist. Beecroft says her images of African men in blackface devouring fried chicken, or of herself as a Madonna nursing Sudanese twins, are about reclamation. But there's the inevitable question: can it be "reverse colonialism" when it's still, well, colonialism? Can we get away from the fact that this is a white woman rescuing African babies - and, at the end of the day, does she want us to? Beecroft, who attempted to adopt the little boys, said the process - captured in a documentary film - was (according to the artist's press releases) "not just fetishization of the blacks. It will be a beginning of a relationship with that country." But her high-handed attitude, her patronizing references to "these people" and "these poor creatures" render her easy to dismiss. Said New York in its review of the documentary,

In the film's most disturbing scene, sisters from the orphanage try to stop her from stripping the children nude inside their abbey for an elaborate photo shoot. Beecroft refuses, complains, starts shooting again, and eventually loses a physical confrontation with one of the sisters, who takes the children away from her, furious that Beecroft is stripping children naked inside a church.

As Racialicious's Latoya Peterson sagely puts it, "Her penchant for darkening the features of the models used in her work, the casual disregard for the environment she is in, and even her positioning as a white woman who wants to make the world aware of these issues plays into longstanding issues with neo-colonialism and racism" and that the viewer can see two things:

"1. That she is an artist, interpreting the world as she sees it.

AND

2. That artists can be influenced by racism and colonialism, even as they are trying to make a statement about one of these topics."

And there's the rub. Because anyone is influenced by these things, making a statement or no. And take someone like Bess Rattray. She may not be making the same kind of self-glorifying statement Beecroft is, but by definition, her act is still a statement in itself. What I was struck by, looking at Beecroft's lightning-rod image from The Art Star and The Sudanese Twins was the sheer vulnerability of the babies: they don't know whose breast they're suckling, just that they want nourishment. They don't know that their skin is being used as a contrast to the artist's angelic robes, or that the image is burdened with centuries of context and meaning. And it's this at the end of the day simplifies and complicates everything. And it's pretending that it doesn't, as Rattray knows, that's the problem.

Madonna And Child [Vogue]

Related: The Thin Line Between Art and Explotation [Racialicious]
‘Art Star' Vanessa Beecroft: Slammed at Sundance [New York]

• Ryan Seacrest and Lindsay Lohan are joining forces to create a reality show wherein people who are "on the wrong track" plead their cases for a second chance and are given 1 million dollars to start their lives over. [USWeekly]

• Both Seacrest and Lohan discussed the show on their Twitter pages: "Met with Lindsay last night about a show idea I have for her…it helps people and gives others a second shot!" wrote Ryan, while Lindsay wrote: "Working on a really great project for television — I am excited!" she wrote. "Something meaningful like Extreme Home Makeover on ABC… :)" [USWeekly]
• David Duchovny and Tea Leoni are "still in love," says a source, despite a rocky patch the couple hit due to Duchovny's struggle with sex addiction last fall. "Their first priority through everything was staying close for their kids and making life as great as it can be for them," the source says, "They'll always be a family." [People]
• The Proposal topped the box office on Friday with 12.4 million dollars. Think it was thoseRyan Reynolds covers? [EW]
• Emma Watson plans to release her own fashion line for teens, and a source says she's "been getting advice from her fashion designer pals like Karl Lagerfeld." [NewsOfTheWorld]
• Orlando Magic star Dwight Howard will star in a movie called Switch, which will reportedly also star Snoop Dogg, Kanye West, and Chris Tucker [PageSix]
• Madonna has now been reunited with her newly adopted daughter, Mercy James, who flew into London yesterday.[DailyMail]
• Approximately 1,000 fans lined up to hear Lauren Conrad read from her novel, LA Candy. 999 of those fans were MFAs who just needed a reason to cry. [NBCNews]
• Sacha Baron Cohen and Isla Fisher are too busy with their careers to plan a wedding. "With all their projects, Isla and Sacha haven't had time to tie the knot," says a source. [DailyMail]
• Kristen Stewart has reportedly been calling Robert Pattinson on the set of his new film, Remember Me. "Kristen's been calling him nonstop since he's been in New York and gets uneasy when he doesn't answer," says a source. "She's nervous he'll fall for Emilie [de Ravin]. She thinks it's only a matter of time before he hooks up with another girl." [ShowbizSpy]
• "I've been in the public eye since I was 14, so I have a tough skin. It's fine dragging me through the mud, but don't drag my loved ones through it. They're my family, and it hurts them. All I'll say is, I know what's in my heart and what's true."- LeAnn Rimes[People]
• Did Victoria Beckham get her breast implants removed so she could appear on the cover of Vogue? A source says yes: "Anna said she would consider putting Victoria on the cover, but told her to lose those ridiculous implants before it happened." [DailyMail]
• "Talking about how all women age, we all see ourselves one way, we all want to stay where we were when we felt our best, but, of course, we do change. If you try to hold on to something that's passed, you get into trouble. It's very sad when people are unhappy because they are not grateful for what they have."-Cameron Diaz [TimesOnline]
• Blind Item: "Which upcoming starlet has been told to keep a lid on her God-fearing, clean-living lifestyle by her management team? Apparently, they think having an out-of-control client will be better for the books." [BlindGossip]
• Is Amy Winehouse going to become a permanent resident of St. Lucia? "Amy loves St Lucia and never wants to leave," says a source, "She thinks the island has done her the world of good and she's writing more than ever." [NewsOfTheWorld]
• Totally ridiculous Brangelaniston story of the day: Angelina Jolie is mad at Brad Pitt for talking to Jennifer Aniston, so she's started talking to Billy Bob Thornton again: "Angelina was beside herself with rage over Brad's latest date with Jen, which left her humiliated and feeling like a laughing stock," says a source, "she has been giving Brad a dose of his own medicine by getting hot and heavy with Billy Bob. Brad recently walked in on Angie, naked in the bathtub, drinking wine and in deep intimate conversation with Billy Bob on the phone!" OMG, I can't wait to tell my boyfriend, Cillian Murphy, who is sitting here next to me. I hope he doesn't get mad at me! If he does, I'll just have to call my other boyfriend, Ewan McGregor, while I'm in the bathtub. See how easy it is to make this stuff up? Everything I just wrote is true, though. Don't tell my husband, Christian Bale. He's quite unpleasant when he's angry. [ShowbizSpy]

• Police are investigating Lindsay Lohan because she's accused of walking off with the jewels she wore during a photo shoot for British Elle. [The Sun]

• Madonna released a statement through her rep saying, "I am extremely grateful for the Supreme Court's ruling on my application to adopt Mercy James... I am ecstatic. My family and I look forward to sharing our lives with her." [Us]
• Yet another star of I'm A Celebrity... Get Me Out of Here has been hospitalized. Janice Dickinson was rushed to a Costa Rican medical facility to treat an undisclosed illness. Previously, Heidi Pratt and Lou Diamond Phillips needed medical treatment. [New York Magazine]
• Jessica Alba will not be charged for putting shark posters all over Oklahoma City earlier this month because no one wants to prosecute her. [TMZ]
• A paparazzi says after taking pictures of Kevin Spacey working on the set of his new film Casino Jack he was thrown into some bushes by crew members and Spacey said, "Don't ever take my picture and fight with the crew." Assistants for the film say that the photographer actually started the incident by hitting a production assistant after he asked him to leave. [The Daily Express]
• Angelina Jolie recorded a PSA to draw attention to World Refugee Day on June 20. Angie says: "Refugees are the most vulnerable people on earth. Every day, they are fighting to survive. They deserve our respect. Please do not forget them. Remember them on this day." [Just Jared]
• News alert: Newly-single Megan Fox "wouldn't rule out" dating a British guy. [The Sun]
• Friends of Usher and Tameka Foster Raymond say their split comes as no surprise. One friend says, "As bad as this is gonna sound, it was never a matter of 'I wonder if they'll divorce,' but more like 'I wonder WHEN they'll divorce.'" Another pal adds, "They peaked before they even got married... Right after it was over, they started to drift apart. [Usher] just wasn't ready to settle down, at least not with her." [People]
• Kelis, who is nine months pregnant, has filed legal papers asking that her estranged husband Nas be order to give her spousal support, child support, and money for all pregnacy-related expenses. She says even though he's rich, he's completely cut her off ans she's out of money. "My survival is based on [Nas'] will at this time. If he does not want to pay for an expense, it does not get paid," says Kelis. [TMZ]
• After cancelling a show on Sunday Susan Boyle will rejoin the Britain's Got Talent tour tonight. "She had one rest day, but she will be back on stage tonight," says a tour rep. [Us]
• John Mayer and friend Rob Dyrdekwere spotted doing tequila shots at a Hollywood club before Mayer gave an impromptu performance. Mayer then Tweeted "In triage at Cedars with @Robdyrdek. When the contents of his stomach hit that silicon bag and we all saw it, we just broke into applause." But a source says it was all a hoax and Dyrdek didn't really have his stomach pumped. [People]
• In this video, Spencer Pratt explains that Jesus saved Al Roker's life, because if he hadn't been recently "saved by Jesus" he would have ripped the anchor head off for being "disrespectful" and "inappropriate" this morning on the Today show. [TMZ]
• For the third time in a week Miley Cyrus' people have had her hang up on a radio interview when a host asked a question that Disney hadn't approved. Miley claimed on her Twitter that, "a station goes over time I am IMMEDIATELY connected to the next station." [TMZ]
• Billy Ray Cyrus says the upcoming fourth season of Hannah Montana will be the last. "Quite frankly, I give a lot of credit to Miley for taking it to another year," said Cyrus. "She didn't want it to just end with whatever was the last episode we did. She wanted it to build to where there's a moral to the story, to where it doesn't just end and go away and that's it. She wanted there to be an official ending to Hannah Montana." [UPI]
• A photo of Robert De Niro and Anthony "Fat Andy" Ruggiano has surfaced, sparking rumors that he met with the late mobster who was involved in at least seven murders to research his role in Analyze This. De Niro says he doesn't recall taking the picture. [The Daily Express]
• T-shirt company Sledge USA wanted Carrie Prejean to model for the company even after she lost her crown, but Prejean didn't bother to show up for the job. [Perez Hilton]
• "Idol champ's lesbian hell." Kelly Clarkson has been single for several years and she says, "Those [lesbian rumours] are not helping me on the dating front! I prefer the boys. I'm extremely flattered when I do get hit on by girls and I think it's hot but I'm not into it. I like boys." [The Sun]
• For his upcoming debut album, Adam Lambert will work with RedOne, the producer behind Lady Gaga's "Poker Face" and "Just Dance." [E!]
• Bloomsbury Publishing released a statement denying allegations that J.K. Rowling copied "substantial parts of a 1987 book called The Adventures of Willy the Wizard — No 1 Livid Land by Adrian Jacobs for Harry Potter And The Goblet of Fire. The statement said, "The allegations of plagiarism made today, Monday 15 June 2009, by the Estate of Adrian Jacobs are unfounded, unsubstantiated and untrue. This claim is without merit and will be defended vigorously." [Reuters]
• Are you dying to hear the new single from Mel Gibson's girlfriend Oksana Grigorieva? You can listen to it here: [People]
• Thandie Newton will teach acting classes at the Oprah Winfrey Leadership Academy for Girls in South Africa. [The Daily Express]
• Kim and Kourtney Kardashian, Kendra Wilkinson, and others have filmed a new commercial for E!'s Drive Safe campaign that promotes having a designated driver. [E!]
• Carnie Wilson gave birth to a baby girl named Luciana Bella on Friday. She is the second daughter for Wilson and her husband Rob Bonfiglio. [People]
• Peaches Geldof was spotted leaving the Scientology Celebrity Center in New York with recruitment documents. [The Sun]
• Jordan and estranged husband Peter Andre have signed a deal to star in rival reality shows that will air at the same time on different networks to play out their divorce in public. [The Sun]
• Prince Ernst August of Hannover, husband of Caroline of Monaco, admitted that he hit a hotel owner in Kenya. A court previously ruled that he was guilty of beating the hotel owner with a metal object, but he says he only hit him with his hands. [CBS News]
• Alice Cooper says he would like to write an operatic movie starring himself. He said if he wasn't a musician he "would probably write movies, but why not put that to music to make an operative thing on stage where you can portray this guy? ... Alice has always been the villain so Alice can easily play this character." [The Star]
• In case you're wondering what it's like to be in the presence of Robert Pattinson, a New York magazine intern risked life and limb to report on the scene around the area where he is currently filming in New York. He says: "I tried to take cell-phone pics, but I was thwarted by packs of girls literally crying... People threw roses at him, took pictures, gasped. He smiled and then had to SPRINT into his trailer. He looked skinnier, paler - yet better! - in person." [New York Magazine]
• "I don't mind getting older; I mind getting uglier. You know – knees, disease, old age, death. I'm a wreck. Frankly, who else cares? No one else does. No one else in the world is out there saying, 'It's a tragedy she's getting older.'
  So why bring yourself down?" — Chrissie Hynde [The Telegraph]
• Bruce Willis is half-naked in most of the photos for his new W magazine shoot with Emma Heming, but that wasn't the original plan. He explains, "When we were getting ready to do the shoot and we were talking about the concept, they said to me, 'We see you with a lot of clothes, a lot of layers.' And I said, 'Great!' And they said, 'Emma's going to be scantily clad,' and I said, 'As it should be!' And then we get there and Steven says, 'We're gonna change it up, we'll put Emma in a lot of clothes and we'll have you in less clothes.' And I went, 'I gotta get some weights!'" [W]

• James Kambewa, the father of Mercy James, the Malawian girl who's being adopted by Madonna, says he will no longer fight the adoption: "My only plea to Madonna is that she should seriously look after the child," he says. [Reuters]

• Kambewa originally opposed the adoption, but now says that he simply wants "Madonna to make sure that, while the child is growing, she must be informed of me as her biological father ... she really must know that while she is far away the father is still alive." [Reuters]
• Jennifer Aniston made fun of herself at the Crystal and Lucy Awards (and surely set herself up for a million more unnecessary tabloid stories) by joking about how the titles of her movies often match up with her love life: "I have a strange parallel with movies I was doing and my life off screen. First, it was The Good Girl...which evolved into Rumor Has It, followed by Derailed. Then there was The Breakup, followed by the lighter side, Friends With Money. If anyone has a movie called Everlasting Love With an Adult Stable Man, that would be great! I'm at table six, and my agents are at table 12." [USWeekly]
• Yikes: is G.I. Joe so bad that the director has been fired? [ONTD]
• Tallulah Belle Willis, daughter of Bruce Willis and Demi Moore, has started working as an intern at Harper's Bazaar.[FashionWeekDaily]
• An estimated 400 people showed up to David Carradine's funeral to bid the actor farewell, including Tom Selleck, Lucy Liu, and Jane Seymour.[People]
• Susan Boyle is set to sing a duet with her idol, Elaine Paige. "Susan and Elaine are set to record Memory together as a duet single," says a source, "From what I gather, Elaine's people were in the audience at the Birmingham show and loved what they saw. They were apparently straight on the phone to Elaine after Susan's performance and she was delighted at the thought of their performing together." [DailyExpress]
• Aubrey O'Day is being defended by the co-founders of NOH8, who say that the singer did not act like a diva while on the set for their latest ad campaign, despite reports to the contrary. [USWeekly]
• Sienna Miller claims that Jude Law doesn't like it when she talks about him: "It's dangerous to bring this up," she says, "I talked about him in an interview not long ago, saying that I still love him, and he was like, ‘Please stop talking about it.'"[ShowbizSpy]
• The Red Shoes has been fully restored, much to the delight of Martin Scorsese: "It expresses so much about the burning need for art, and I identified with that feeling the first time I saw the picture with my father, he says, "I was so young then. It put me in contact with something in myself, a driving emotion I saw in the characters up there on the screen and in the colour, the rhythm, the sense of beauty."[DailyExpress]
• Lily Allen is "vulnerable after her relationships failed," says a source, "She is especially concerned about going on her tour without a boyfriend there for her backstage. She needs a man to take care of her, and to give her attention. Without that, she fears she'll go off the rails." [ShowbizSpy]
• Prince Harry's girlfriend, Caroline Flack, apparently has a history of all-night benders, dates with Russell Brand, hot-tub adventures with Jack Osbourne, and flings with Noel Fielding. I think we are supposed to be scandalized by this, but I keep picturing the Queen's face while reading this stuff and I can't stop laughing. [NewsoftheWorld]
• Blind Item:This A list actress who used to be the highest paid actress in Hollywood donated her entire paycheck from a recent movie to four different charities. It was the largest donation any of the four charities had ever received.[BlindGossip]
• "I think everybody's a fan of Pink. Her voice is the best of our generation. Her lyrics are so vulnerable. She's so open about her whole life. People love that."-Kelly Clarkson on Pink[NYTimes]
• "I doubt it very much. Unless he's interested in guesting with one of the bands I'm in. I don't think that's going to happen really for some reason."- Johnny Marr on being on stage with Morrissey.[BBC]
• Simon Cowell "emerged from Stringfellows (a lapdancing club) smeared in bright red lippy" during a night out with Ryan Seacrest. This is pretty much the stuff that Joel McHale's dreams and nightmares are made of, no? [Mirror]

• Just what you always wanted: Heidi Montag has posed for the September issue of Playboy:

Here is the obligatory quote about how classy it is: "There is nudity. It's tasteful – she had a lot of fun with it," says a source. [People]

• Wait, what? Rihanna and Chris Brown requested seats together at the NBA Finals game in Orlando, Florida. Some kind of carefully orchestrated show of support?!?!?! [ET]
• Oh, no: This report states that Rihanna and Chris Brown did not sit together. [Page Six]
• Madonna's adoption appeal: Approved. She's in the process of working out the details and getting Mercy to New York. [BBC News, Daily News, People]
• Kristin Davis says of the Sex And The City sequel: "I haven't read the actual script yet; we're supposed to get it this week." But she says some of the characters known for Manolos and martinis might be feeling the sting of the recession: "I don't think we are totally switching to a new shoe brand, but there are definitely some effects of the economic situation that will be felt, but I don't know if [the consequences will be felt] across the board or specific to certain characters." [WWD]
• Kanye West and Chanel Iman: Seen getting cozy. [Page Six]
• Kanye West is also into Lady GaGa: "I'm into her style. It's hot right now. I mean, I'm a guy - so obviously I'm into her." Guess what? they're going on tour together! [Daily News]
• Kanye West performed for 3,000 teens in his hometown of Chicago at an event for the Kanye West Foundation, a nonprofit working to decrease dropout rates and improve literacy. It was co-founded by Kanye's late mother, who worked in education for years. The kids who got to see Kanye were students who had improved their grades and attendance; Chicago has a 50% dropout rate. [MSNBC]
• Were the Usher divorce reports just a rumor? His wife doesn't seem to know anything about it ,and there's no record of him filing… yet. But also, his wife hasn't spoken to him "in a few days." [TMZ]
• According to this report, Usher hasn't filed for divorce yet, but a clerk with Cobb County Superior Court in Georgia says, "we had a telephone conversation last week with an attorney asking how to file for them." Why the divorce? One source rails: "Tameka is crazy. His mother didn't even go to their wedding because she didn't approve!" [Gatecrasher]
• BREAKING: Anne Hathaway upstaged by raccoon. [Page Six]
• Sonny Bono's widow — Congresswoman Mary Bono — says she "loves and supports Chaz" — meaning Chastity Bono, who is transitioning from female to male. [TMZ]
• Did Chastity Bono's rep want cash for her sex change story? [National Enquirer]
• Even though Kate Winslet said "it's very tempting to have a nanny and live in a gated community," her rep clarifies: "'She has a part-time nanny." [Daily Mail]
• Doug Reinhardt's rep released a statement about his relationship with Paris Hilton, which reads: "Doug refuses to take part of this ridiculous media circus. He wishes Paris and all of her future boyfriends the best of luck." All together now: Oh. Snap. [TMZ]
• Paris Has already moved on, to Madrid Real soccer star Cristiano Ronaldo, who is what is technically referred to as a serious hottie. [Page Six]
• This story about a late mortician accused of misusing burial funds is "notable" because the estranged wife of the man, J. Jeffrey Fretti, is named Tamara, and she is the sister of Katie Holmes. [Toledo Blade]
• When it comes to dating someone much older, Evan Rachel Wood, 21, who was with Marilyn Manson, 40, says: "I don't think it works. I think it's a bad idea. I think as long as you learn from it - good or bad experience - it's an experience, and you should take something away from it." Of the new Woody Allen film Whatever Works, Evan says: "I spoke to Larry [David] about it and told him if the relationship went any further sexually I wouldn't have done the movie... That's one of the things that I liked about the relationship in the movie; it never crosses that line or gets creepy." [Daily Express]
• Wow. According to this article, "Before [Jada Pinkett Smith's new show] Hawthorne and HBO's The No. 1 Ladies' Detective Agency debuted a few months ago (starring Jill Scott), it had been 35 years since an African-American woman was the lead in a TV drama." [Newsweek]
• Even though Carrie Prejean has been telling everyone she and her new boobs were offered Playboy, insiders say there was never an offer on the table. Hmm. [Extra]
• A "select band of Los Angeles wordsmiths," Lab Twenty6, has refused to let Peaches Geldof join their discussion group. [The Sun]
• Joy Behar rarely leaves her neighborhood. So what? [NY Mag]
• Eva Mendes got all verklempt while discussing her work with The Art of Elysium, an organization that encourages working actors, artists and musicians to voluntarily dedicate their time and talents to children battling serious medical conditions. Thank God for waterproof mascara," she sniffed. [WWD]
• Katie "Jordan" Price bought a horse, which this paper claims "will ease the pain of her split with hubby Peter Andre." [The Sun]
• Weird: Someone is trying to form a group called New Kids On The Block. So the real New Kids On The Block are suing. [TMZ]
• Singer Nivea Hamilton and model Lauren London are both pregnant by rapper Lil Wayne. For some reason we thought he reproduced when you spilled water on him? [Perez]
• Amy Poehler will star in Lunch Lady, a flick based on a children's graphic novel series — titles include Lunch Lady and the League of Librarians and Lunch Lady and the Cyborg Substitute, both of which are due this summer. [The Hollywood Reporter]
• Matt Damon might play Lance Armstrong in a biopic. Do we approve? [Mirror]
• "DJ Jazzy Jeff says his weekend performance in Kansas City was stopped because of censorship, not race." [AP]
• Blind item! "Which very married actor had a flirtatious folly with a gay hairdresser?" [Gatecrasher]
• "Those are two very different communities, but something they both share is love of celebration. My relationship with the gay community is long-standing and loyal, and I love them very much. I consider my music to be very gay, and I love that it is gay." — Lady GaGa on being embraced by the gay and hip-hop "communities." [USA Today]
• "She's just a great, crazy character who is psychologically complex, a textbook sociopath. But she's charming and seemingly sweet, even when she does really bad things. Who wouldn't want to play a character like that?" — Gina Gershon, on playing socialite Pat Allanson in the Lifetime mobie Everything She Ever Wanted. [USA Today]
• "[I] will sometimes hold off on the insulin, which will jack my blood sugar level up to the low 200 range. It's like how a prizefighter will want to go into the ring with his blood sugar levels high. It gives you the stamina of a bull. So, yes, sometimes I will endanger my own life to pleasure a woman." — Bret Michaels. [Perez]
• "Music is about listening not looking. That's why I wore these huge baggy dresses on stage with The Cranberries… I basically had the wrong kind of love and attention around me. I lived six years in a bus with strangers, touring the world with the band, seeing the insides of hotels. I lost touch with my friends. I was lonely all that time. I went nuts I was so lonely. These were days before mobile phones so I had to find a phonebox just to talk to my parents. I lost a lot of my youth." — from a worthwhile interview with Dolores O'Riordan. [Independent]
• Yeah, we played [brother and sister], but at least we're not related in real life! Good God! I thought it would be creepy for him, but it's not." — Evan Rachel Wood on dating former Once and Again costar Shane West. [NY Daily News]
• "Being nice and adorable isn't funny. I enjoyed being a bitch. Everyone does. They are always better written and it's a relief… Then they said, 'Here's this woman director we like, Anne Fletcher. Can she come and meet you?' I met her and within five minutes, she said the word 'vagina,' and I'm like (her voice rising giddily), 'I love her.' " — Sandra Bullock, on why she wanted to do The Proposal. [USA Today]
• "I may never hear that word 'mom.' But being a parent is not about breeding. It's about caring. And it's easy to say, but it's harder to do. When you don't have that title, you flounder and it hurts. But this is the best test of being a parent. And I just have to keep reminding myself I don't care what I get. I care what I give." — Sandra Bullock, on being a stepmom. [USA Today]
• "I get more naked this season than I did last season. We have a really great crew and everyone's really respectful. It's not an issue for me… [But] I work my ass off. I'm very careful about what I eat, and I work out a lot. My costume entails bathing suits, short-shorts and nude scenes, come on! I don't want to be perpetuating the myth that women actually do look exactly like the way they look in magazines and on television through absolutely no effort!" — Anna Paquin on True Blood. [E!]

• Don't call it a comeback: Amy Winehouse's attempt to restart her career in St. Lucia was a disaster, with audience members booing her as she stumbled about and forgot the lyrics to her songs. [DailyMail]

• Amy was apparently upset that many of the songs reminded her of her estranged husband, Blake Fielder-Civil, and spent most of the set drinking and mumbling to herself. You can watch a video of the performance here. [NewsOfTheWorld]
• Heavy rain didn't help matters either: Amy was forced to end the show early due to bad weather. [NYTimes]
• Susan Boyle was invited to sing for President Obama, but was apparently too overwhelmed to accept the invitation. "She was shocked and thrilled by the invite - but it was all too much too soon for her so she said No," says a source, "She has been told President Obama has seen clips of her on TV and loved her singing. And she is delighted. But instead she'll have no doubt stayed in with her cat Pebbles, washed her hair and watched Britain's Got Talent on telly."[NewsOfTheWorld]
• Matthew Broderick is getting some not-so-helpful advice on the upcoming arrival of his twin daughters: "Yeah, I'm ready. You know, I've asked people, 'What's it like to have twins?' One father said, 'I don't recommend it.' But the rest have been very positive." [PopSugar]
• Sharon Osbourne admits that she has a bit of a crush on Russell Brand: "Oh, he's a sexy old thing," she says. [Mirror]
• OMG, what does the very lovely Victoria Beckham look like without makeup after working out at the gym? She looks like the very lovely Victoria Beckham without makeup after working out at the gym, of course. [DailyMail]
• "I'm still baffled as to why people are so interested in my life. It's so weird, even my dog Norman gets recognised - he's famous. But I'm cutting him off, I've told him no more Oprah appearances! It's been horrendous at times. I have had to simply move through it and try to think positively."- Jennifer Aniston [DailyMail]
• The fate of Miss California, Carrie Prejean, will be decided this week: press conferences will be held on Monday and Tuesday to announce whether or not Prejean will be stripped of her crown for failing to disclose that she had posed for "sexy pictures" in the past. [E!]
• Hugh Jackman's wife is a big fan of his Wolverine look: "She loves it. When we met, I was in a prison drama, I had long hair, a mullet, a lot of muscles and tattoos, I was seriously pumped-up. She likes me when I'm in the Wolverine mode, the bad boy, you know? She loves me putting the leather jacket on, getting on the motorbike…"[Mirror]
• Zachary Quinto had a hard time getting used to the Vulcan salute. "‘In some scenes he has to do the salute while speaking his lines so they ended up using skin-protective superglue, like they use in hospitals, to stick his fingers together," says a source, "It was the only way they could make it work."[DailyMail]
• Christian Bale says he's speaking out about his infamous rant in order to draw attention away from himself and back to Terminator: Salvation. "You think about the numbers of days we shot on that movie - 77 days - everything going well. What's being focused on is four minutes where I behaved bad," Bale says, "I didn't want that to overshadow the hard work of everybody on the crew, in every aspect. So I felt like I had to say something." [DailyExpress]
• Blind Item: "Which fashion designer was caught doing a Winona at the London Marc Jacobs store? She had to be called up and ordered to return the stock to keep it all hush-hush." [BlindGossip]
• "I didn't have a teenage or early-20s experience that was free and without worry. I missed the screw-everything, have-a-good-time phase. I was worried that if I didn't stay on track and work, work, work, I was never going to accomplish anything. Now I'm trying to have fun and have the freedom to do nothing."-Sandra Bullock [JustJared]
• Heidi Klum and Seal renewed their wedding vows yesterday to celebrate their fourth anniversary. [RadarOnline]
• Even though her application to adopt Mercy James was denied, Madonna is still setting up a trust fund for the girl, in order to fund her education. "Madonna loves Mercy," says a source, "She wants to be part of her life and provide for her. She wants to make sure Mercy has everything she needs in life and her dreams are fulfilled." [ShowbizSpy]
• Liv Tyler says she's "stopped buying fashion magazines. I mean, it's such fun, but I don't want to be influenced by everyone else about what's cool or not cool; I want to be who I want to be." [TimesOnline]

[Image via Bauer-Griffin.]

• Miley Cyrus wants to dump her boyfriend Justin Gaston, but her father doesn't approve:

According to the National Enquirer, "Billy Ray thinks Justin is a solid, stand-up Christian guy who keeps his nose clean and stays out of trouble," says a source. But: "It's finally dawning on (Miley) that she's young, rich and famous," the source said. "And she can have any guy she's interested in." [MSNBC via National Enquirer]

• Poor Jonas Brothers: Their new show has fewer viewers than Miley Cyrus' Hannah Montana. [LA Times]
• Lindsay Lohan is hazardous to little sister Ali Lohan's health, says a psychiatrist who does not treat either of them. "If you have an older child who is breaking a lot of the rules and engaging in dangerous and risky behavior, this can have a negative impact on the younger child," says Dr. Eva Ritvo. Um, duh. [NY Daily News]
• The self-proclaimed father of Mercy, the child Madonna is trying to adopt, is being called an "opportunist" by Mercy's family. [NY Daily News]
• Did writer James Frey tape his phonecalls with Oprah Winfrey or did he just make it seem like he did, in a new "fictional" passage in his book? [Page Six]
• George Clooney is willing to help his buddy Rande Gerber — Cindy Crawford's husband — in regards to that sexual-harassment lawsuit filed against him. Turns out Cloons was with Gerber the night of the alleged incident. This should get interesting… [E!]
• Gerber says both he and Clooney are willing to take lie detector tests! [MSNBC Scoop]
• Unsolicited uterus update: Is Gisele Bundchen pregnant? [Page Six]
• Courteney Cox ran into Brad Pitt at a concert — you know, her best friend's ex-husband — and "chatted away" with him all night. Page Six seems to think this was evil of her. [Page Six]
• Spencer Pratt spoke to The Daily Beast, dropping gems like: "Heidi and I do we love fame… We're honored to be famous. We feel blessed to be famous. We pray every day to stay famous. It's the most fun. That's our mentality with fame. That's why we're so different than everybody else in these tabloids-because we embrace it." He also says: "Interscope can put $18 million behind Nicole Scherzinger's flop solo album, but Heidi and I are going the underground route, where iTunes takes its cut, and the rest goes to Heidi. Sure, Lady Gaga's got hit songs, but she's eating at Taco Bell. Heidi's got amazing songs and has her portrait on the wall at Cut [steak house in Los Angeles]." And! "Twittering is an absolute gift from God." [The Daily Beast]
• So you know how Jessica Simpson is, inexplicably, on the June cover of Vanity Fair? The mag's PR director says it's because: "She's at a crossroads in her career… Where she's headed - or not - says a lot about the nature of celebrity in America. And she looks pretty decent in a swimsuit, contrary to recent reports." All together now: *headdesk.* [MSNBC Scoop]
• Amy Winehouse has been "frolicking" with a "mystery man" in St. Lucia; as seen in these pictures, dude is dark & lovely. He may be a "local sheller" named Anton Moses; a source says: "Amy has become very cozy with Anton. Amy sets aside every evening to spend time with him and each day he saves her his best shell." [Daily Mail]
• The woman who is accused of having a thing with Jon Gosselin of Jon & Kate Plus 8 speaks! Deanna Hummel says: "We're just friends." [People]
• Susan Boyle is so popular now she's had to changed her phone number. For her home phone, that is: The "technophobe" has been given a mobile phone but is "nervous" about using it. [The Sun]
• Dolly Parton's children's book, I Am A Rainbow, drops May 14. "It's about moods - pink for shy, red for angry, green for jealous," she says. "It teaches children that we all have these moods; it's about what you do with them." [USA Today]
• Liam Neeson has spoken to the ski instructor who last saw Natasha Richardson alive. A source says: "He was very dignified and never sought to blame anyone - he just wanted to understand what happened for his own peace of mind." [The Sun]
• NBC wants advertisers to know that Jay Leno is "advertiser friendly," and "not afraid to experiment with live commercials and with sponsorships." Which doesn't sound desperate at all! [AdAge]
• "Since swine flu is super trendy I wanted to make sure I was in style with my swine flu ring!" blogged Katy Perry. There's a picture of her new ring, which is a sparkly flying piggy. Katy also blogged about a conversation she had with her cat, Kitty Purry: "Kitty Purry was telling me the other night that she remembers when bird flu was in and now pig flu is cool and she wonders when kitty flu is gonna hit," writes Perry, "as she would like to be more popular than she currently already is. Fame whore." [People]
• Ed Westwick was spotted kissing costar Jessica Szohr at the BritWeek charity football match in L.A., but when asked if his girlfriend was there to support him, Westwick answered, "My who?" [Mirror]
• Christina Aguilera will make her silver screen debut in a flick called Burlesque. She'll play "an ambitious smalltown girl with a big voice who finds love, family and success in a Los Angeles neo-burlesque club." In other words, yes, she will sing. [Variety]
• Jack White wants Kate Moss on his new band Dead Weather's album. As an aside: White Moss would be a cool name for a band. [The Sun]
• By the by, Meg White is engaged to guitarist Jackson Smith, son of Patti Smith and Fred Smith. [People]
• Also betrothed: Alyssa Milano and CAA agent Dave Bugliari, who just had an engagement party Saturday. [E!]
• Bebe Neuwirth was wed to Chris Calkins, founder of Napa Valley's Destino vineyard, in a "quiet" Buddhist/Christian ceremony performed by Peter Coyote, who has one of the best voices in showbiz. [Page Six]
• Mad Men! Returns! But will be sorta delayed! It was supposed to come back in July! But we'll have to wait until August! Still! Mad Men! Returns! [Variety]
• Click the link at the end of this sentence if you would like to see a giant Lego portrait of JK Rowling, which kids helped build. [Telegraph]
• Your friend Billy Zane has baby fever! "I'm single right now — and kind of loving it," he says. "[But] I hear the patter of little feet. But I foresee that - I sense it, I feel it, I feel it coming. It's just a sense that you get. I think I'm ready for fatherhood. But I'm not out there hunting for my bride - as of yet." Then he got in the lifeboat and left you behind. [Daily Express]
• Ed McMahon, who was suing L.A.'s Cedars-Sinai hospital for misdiagnosing a neck fracture, has settled his lawsuit. [TMZ]
• "Dallas star Victoria Principal 'threatened maid with a gun after accusing her of taking too long walking her dog.'" [Daily Mail]
• "It's peculiar and unnerving in a way to see so many young people walking around with cellphones and iPods in their ears and so wrapped up in media and video games. It robs them of their self-identity. It's a shame to see them so tuned out to real life." — Bob Dylan to Rolling Stone. [Page Six]
• "You know, I've seen him [Springsteen] several times in concert, and I've only met him twice and I put out my hand and I mumbled. I couldn't get a sentence out. The same thing happened with Mick Jagger. We were on the plane coming back from Miami." — Henry Winkler, aka The Fonz. [Daily Express]
• "I no longer feel insecure about my acting. Early on I took any job that was offered, milking it for the money. I had no idea what I was doing - that's when insecurity and self-loathing start." — Tom Hanks, star of Turner Y Hooch. [Mirror]
• "My friend's mom, Wendy, blogs almost daily on a site called Wendy from Encore which goes great with my morning coffee. I like to catch up with my friends across the country by reading their blogs, which is ironic as the phrases 'my friend's blog,' 'blogging' or 'blogosphere' always make me cringe. I just happen to have some very clever friends who are wonderful writers and offer up a slice of real everyday life." — Scarlett Johansson. [The Daily Beast]
• "I always find it funny that so much skin-cream advertising features, like, Jessica Alba. She's gorgeous and 12!" — Brooke Shields to More. [Page Six]

• A fan of Britney Spears rushed up on stage and tried to dance with Brit Brit on Saturday night in Connecticut. He was quickly surrounded by backup dancers and "escorted" away. There's video. [Perez]

• The dude in question (at Britney's concert) was drunk. He was arrested for breach of the peace and also booked for being "highly uncooperative" while in custody. [Daily Mail]
• Madonna's case in the adoption of Mercy James will be in the Malawi Supreme Court today. Will Mercy's biological father — who opposes the adoption — try to derail the proceedings? [Times of London, UPI]
• Madonna and Demi Moore have bonded over Kabbalah and the fact that they both have younger men; a source says they're hoping to arrange a double date soon. Do you think they'll have milkshakes? One glass, four straws? [Daily Mail]
• Madonna's daughter Lourdes hearts Lady GaGa! Madge and Lola went to Lady G's show in NYC and Lourdes was "singing along to every word." What's amusing is that since GaGa's megablonde and cartoonish, she's almost like a young Madonna, no? [Gatecrasher]
• David Hasselhoff was rushed to the hospital for alcohol poisoning over the weekend. His 16-year-old daughter found him unconscious and he was "barely breathing" when they got to the emergency room. [Radar Online]
• Amy Winehouse left the hospital — where she'd been after collapsing for dehydration — and went to a bar. [The Sun]
• Angelina Jolie's "curved bullet kill" in Wanted has been nominated for an MTV Movie Award in a new category: Best WTF Moment. Possibly because MTV would love it if Angie showed up. [E!]
• By the by: Andrew Morton, who penned biographies of Princess Di, Monica Lewinsky and Tom Cruise, will write about Angelina Jolie next. [Page Six]
• Casey Aldridge, boyfriend and baby daddy to Jamie Lynn Spears, is out of the hospital after flipping his truck. A "source" says "They're both at the house in Liberty [Miss.]... Now Jamie Lynn will have two babies to care for." [E!, People]
• "I'm not embarrassed about being bisexual," says Pink, according to this disreputable paper. [News Of The World]
• Pink has Twittered: "I just read that I'm bisexual. So 1991. Good thing people write articles about me so I can get my facts [straight]." Apparently the interview with the News Of The World was "entirely fabricated." [NY Daily News]
• Words you probably never thought you would see together: "Robert Pattinson's penis implant." [Yahoo News via Bang Showbiz]
• Crap. Jenny McCarthy has inked a deal with Oprah Winfrey's Harpo Productions and will develop a talk show, which, of course, Jenny will host. What do you think she'll talk about? Autism? Anyone? [Yahoo News via Reuters]
• Wolverine had an $87 million opening weekend, which is huge. But holding on to it might be tough: Star Trek opens this Friday. [NY Post]
• Now that you've suffered through Wolverine, know this: Hugh Jackman will star in Ghostopolis, a flick about a man who works for the government's Supernatural Immigration Task Force. His job is to send ghosts who have escaped into our world back to Ghostopolis. It's what they call "high concept." [The Hollywood Reporter]
• A writer hangs out with famed trainer Tracy Anderson: "According to Tracy, if I commit to an hour of her exercise regime six days a week, for the rest of my life, just like Gwynnie and Madge (whose remarkable bodies she proudly takes responsibility for), a 'teeny, tiny, lean and mean' figure will be mine. Voilà." [Daily Mail]
• Scarlett Johansson's directorial debut — a segment for New York, I Love You — is going straight to DVD. It's being called "unwatchable" and a source says, "It was really bad, so it was cut." [Daily Mail]
• Bethenny Frankel, one of the Real Housewives of New York, went out to a Hula-Hoop competition with a date… and the Times. She wore "a baby T and skin-tight Paige jeans." And said: ""My friends call me 'That Girl,' like Marlo Thomas. Like, I'm in New York trying to figure it out." [NY Times]
• Real Housewife Kelly Bensimon says of her ex, the guy she allegedly gave a black eye: "What guy does that? He acted like he was Rihanna." Her attorney calls Nick Stefanov a "jilted moron." [Newser via NY Daily News]
• Unsolicited uterus update: Elisabeth Hasselbeck says: "I'm definitely not paying attention to my pregnancy." That makes two of us! [People]
• Jay-Z is living in post-racial America, you guys. He performed at the University of Arizona and later blogged: "On the show as well were Third Eye Blind and Kelly Clarkson ... I thought that had to be the oddest pairing ever, but soon realized it's what I've always professed. There's NO such thing as Black music or White music only Good or Bad music." [MTV via RapRadar.com]
• Rihanna's new man is an ex; she was seeing Negus Sealy before she "made it." A source says: "He's a really smart guy - clever, good looking, very cool. All the girls adore him and call him the Love God." [Daily Mail, NY Post]
• Victoria and David Beckham are house-hunting in Italy; he's been playing for AC Milan while Vicky and the kids stayed in L.A. since the boys are enrolled in CA schools, but now that summer's coming, it's Ciao, Hollywood. [Daily Mail]
• John "The Player" Mayer is single again. It seems that model he was dating talked too much. To the press. Although who knows. [Gatecrasher]
• Cindy Crawford's husband, Rande Gerber, is being sued for sexual harassment by two female employees at a San Diego business he owns. [Page Six]
• Someone asked Russell Brand if he would shag reported virgin Susan Boyle. "I don't think I should be the one to do that," he said. "Susan deserves a nice strapping farmer from the North." Related: What is wrong with people?!?! [The Sun]
• Gisele Bundchen rarely poses for pictures with her new husband Tom Brady: "Tom hates being photographed," she explains. [Gatecrasher]
• Mark McGrath is no longer the host of Extra, so he's trying to make music again. Sugar Ray comeback album, people. Titled: Music For Cougars. Naturally. [Page Six]
• Princess Eugenie was mugged in Cambodia. [Mirror]
• Enrique Iglesias and his manager allegedly ran over the foot of an 11-year-old girl as they were leaving a radio station appearance back in 2007. Lawsuit alert! [TMZ]
• A Little Britain movie could be coming to the United States. [The Sun]
• Sting's daughter, Coco Sumner, fell and fractured her skull outside of a restaurant. She is recovering "well." [Daily Mail
• Vanessa Hudgens has settled a breach of contract lawsuit filed against her by a producer who worked with her very early in her career. [UPI]
• Another day, another claim that Coldplay's music is stolen. This time it's Cat Stevens — sorry — Yusuf Islam, who says: "There's been this argument about Coldplay stealing this melody from Joe Satriani, but, if you listen to it, it's mine! It's the Foreigner Suite, it is!" [The Sun]
• An excerpt from a Paul Newman biography has details about the actor's relationship with Joanne Woodward — which started when he was married to someone else. "I was probably too immature to make a success of my first marriage," Newman allegedly said. "Guilty as hell" was how he described himself about his first marriage, adding: "And I'll carry it with me for the rest of my life." [Daily Mail]
• Blind item: "Which D-list rapper got in a hemp, er, heap, of trouble with event sponsors when he lit up a joint at their bash? They couldn't kick him out because he was the 'big' celebrity name of the night, but they didn't end up paying him." [Gatecrasher]
• "Famous female singers tend to moan and whine a lot about being famous. Damn, I'm Pink and my bank account hasn't seen a red zero for a long time, and I can do what I love best — sing. Isn't that something that makes life better?" — Pink. [News Of The World]
• "When you come to film in Rome, the official statement to you is that the Vatican has no influence. Everything progressed very smoothly, but unofficially a couple of days before we were to start filming in several of our locations, it was explained to us that through back channels and so forth that the Vatican had exerted some influence. Was I surprised? No. Am I a little frustrated at times? Sure." — Ron Howard, on shooting Angels & Demons. [AP]
• "It is good fun and the part feels like it was written for me. Chuck has witty lines, gets to dress up and has very nice clothes […] [Sometimes] I [keep and] wear the suits. They're killer, don't you think? There is a lot of stuff I wouldn't wear, but he really puts it together very well. The whole outfit just comes together as an interesting look." — Ed Westwick. [Mirror]
• "Nia is like a rock star over there. You walk down the streets of Greece and people just go nuts, it's like you're with Tom Cruise or something." — Rachel Dratch, who is in the new Nia Vardalos flick, My Life In Ruins. [CBS News]
• "I've always rather admired you but now I realise you're an absolute ——. I'm only sorry I didn't get a chance to kick you when I fell over – maybe next time." — Judi Dench, in response to a critic who called her latest play "deeply dodgy" and "fit only for pretentious masochists." [Telegraph]
• "All of these shows are derivative of the shows that we used to do. The topics, some of the story lines, they're all very similar to what we did every day on the show for 11 years. When you have dynamic people that have some sort of conflict and put them in a confined space together, it's bound to be dramatic." — Ricki Lake, new host of Charm School, thinks the reality genre is a lot like her old talk show. [NY Daily News]

• Oh, yikes. According to Stephanie Pratt her brand new sister-in-law, Heidi Montag wants "four boys, four Spencer Pratts!" Creepy flesh colored beard enthusiasts across the country are no doubt celebrating this slightly terrifying news. [USWeekly]

• Despite negative reviews, Wolverine topped the box office with 34 million dollars on Friday. [E!]
• Actress Missi Pyle recently wed naturalist Casey Anderson, and the best man was Brutus, an 800 pound Grizzly bear that Anderson has raised from birth. Wonder where they got the tux rental? [DailyExpress]
• "I'm quite honestly getting seriously fed up with being falsely connected with several men on Page Six: Josh Hartnett, Heath Ledger, and now it is insinuated (we all know what 'befriended' means on these pages!) that Sean Penn is another. There has never been any intimacy between myself and any of these men, and I want this cleared once and for all."-Helena Christensen [PageSix]
• Mine That Bird a 50-1 shot, emerged victorious at the Kentucky Derby yesterday. [NBCSports]
• Christina Applegate has been selected as People's Most Beautiful Person of 2009. [ONTD]
• "I'm definitely not paying attention to my pregnancy. That won't be true for the child [when it arrives]. But now, when you have two kids running around you're not the pregnant person you were before." -Elisabeth Hasselbeck [People]
• Comedian Robert Schimmel has been arrested on suspicion of beating his wife. [NYTimes]
• Nicole Richie has blogged about the girl group she was in when she was 13 or so. "Our name? get ready… CAUTION!," she writes, "And I even remember part of our rap. I'm getting chills of embarrassment even typing this. The rap lyrics I remember were: Caution! Walking down the street.You better watch out, and step to the beatPlaying our music from town to town Rockin' and Rollin' were [sic] gonna get down!"[JustJared]
• "It was a town of hair metal and we hated it. Girls were supposed to be sexy whores in white pants - they weren't allowed to rock. We played in bars and ignored what people said. After all, we knew that the people who thought they were badass didn't rock at all!"-Kim Deal [Guardian]
• Hugh Jackman is desperate to bring a Carousel film to the screen, and hopes to get Anne Hathaway to join him. "I've been looking to do a musical film for some time and after things like Moulin Rouge!, Chicago and Hairspray, I think there's a real opportunity there," Jackman says, "I've been filling up [Hathaway's] answering machine with messages about Carousel." [DailyExpress]
• Halle Berry, who has apparently forgotten the mess that was Catwoman, says she'd be interested in an X-Men spinoff featuring her character, Storm. "I think that would be great," Berry says, "Storm deserves her own movie - if I can still fit into the suit."[JustJared]
• "I'm in AA (Alcoholics Anonymous) now, too. I've had drinks, but it has been a levelling-out process. Am I an alcoholic? I may not be. I don't know. But I also know that, in the situation I'm in, with temptations what they are, I have no room for alcohol in my life."- Shia LeBeouf, keepin' it anonymous. [DailyExpress]
• Madonna and Demi Moore have reportedly bonded over the fact that they both have "younger lovers." "Demi has been really supportive of Madonna in her relationship with Jesus," says a source, "She knows more than anyone how great it is to date a younger guy and hopes they can make it last." [DailyMail]
• Meanwhile, the biological father of Mercy James, the Malawian girl that Madonna is trying to adopt, says that he wants to raise Mercy in her own culture. "I want to take care of her, and I'm capable of taking care of my baby. Mercy, she is a Malawian, so [I] need her to grow as a Malawian ... with our culture." [People]
• Rihanna is moving on, and has rekindled a teenage romance with Negus Sealy, much to the delight of her loved ones. "The family are delighted about her seeing Negus again," says a source. [ShowbizSpy]
• Dennis Rodman's wife attempted to stage an intervention, but Rodman wasn't interested. "He wouldn't go because he doesn't want to miss the taping of the 'Celebrity Apprentice' reunion," says a source. Rodman's rep replied: "Yes, they tried an intervention but, unfortunately, Dennis refused to go. We all know how amazing he is when sober, and we hope he gets there soon." [PageSix]
• Sting's daughter, Coco Sumner is currently in the intensive care unit after falling outside of a restaurant and fracturing her skull. "‘Coco went flying and landed with a real crash. She really took a tumble.One of the waiters helped her to her feet but she complained that she didn't feel well," says a source, "She hadn't had anything to drink and it happened quite early into the evening." [DailyMail]
• Kate Moss and Jamie Hince are on the rocks again, after Kate discovered that Jamie had "struck up a friendship" with another woman while on tour. [DailyMail]
• Are Victoria and David Beckham getting ready to leave the States for Milan? "Victoria is going off LA and was embarrassed that her designs didn't take off there," says a source, "They did well in the UK and she accepts that Europe is a better market for her." [DailyMail]
• "I would also be just as happy with a new women. I'm not complicated, I sing about love in all its shapes, forms and colors. I speak my mind, I sing about everyday stuff such as homosexuality and sadly the homophobia that always comes with it.Famous female singers tend to moan and whine a lot about being famous. Damn, I'm Pink and my bank account hasn't seen a red zero for a long time, and I can do what I love best-sing. Isn't that something that makes life better?"-Pink [ShowbizSpy]

• Chris Brown has reportedly moved on. His new ladyfriend is actually an ex. She attends University of Mary Washington and they met in Virginia, which is where he's from. His reps deny everything. [Gatecrasher]

• Are Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie trying to adopt another kid, this time from the Philippines? [Daily Mail]
• Is Pamela Anderson getting ready to wed —- for the fourth time? The dude would be her current boyfriend, Jamie Padgett. [The Sun]
• "Someone in the Kardashian family will soon have plastic surgery," says Kim Kardashian. "I can't tell you who, but someone in my family will look totally different and viewers will see it all on the show very soon." Uh, is it Bruce Jenner? [People]
• Suri Cruise is starting her "five day a week Scientology training," which really just means she'll be attending that school started by Will Smith that uses "study technology." But the school does require a "low-carb, low-sodium and low-sugar organic diet." Suri is about to turn 3. [Daily Mail]
• Although Lindsay Lohan is "heartbroken," Lindsay and Sam are still talking,says a friend. Also: Lindsay "barely sleeps, which explains a lot of her behavior. She's exhausted. She can't even sit down for a minute without pacing around the room. It's really sad." [People]
• Lindsay was seen carrying something called Neuro Bliss, which is supposed to "relax neural tissues, to enhance brain activity, focus and provide a sense of well-being." [TMZ]
• This report is titled, "Lindsay Parties The Pain Away." [OK!]
• Madonna is still trying to adopt Mercy James, the child in Malawi. Her lawyer has filed an appeal, and she says "I want to provide Mercy with a home, a loving family environment and the best education and healthcare possible." [Reuters]
• Mercy James is "in hiding" so that her biological father doesn't come and take her; apparently he has only materialized since Madonna showed interest in the child. [Daily Mail]
• News you cannot use: Madonna's son David is a fan of Australian football. [News.com.au]
• Is it mean that Joel Madden posted a picture of a young Nicole Richie on his Twitter and wrote, "This is why I love her folks. Is it not Ron Perlman circa Beauty and the Beast??" [People]
• Hermione's coming to the states: Emma Watson will be attending Brown University. [Daily Express]
• Even though Paris Hilton is with Doug Reinhardt now, she totally talks to her ex, Greek shipping heir Stavros Niarchos, at least three times a week. They probably just discuss the economy and ? [Daily Mail]
• Brace yourself for a Nadya Suleman reality show, which is super close to happening. [MSNBC Scoop]
• Some lady from a rehab center says she had a "secret fling" with Blake Fielder-Civil and is knocked up with his kid. Is it true? Will Amy Winehouse flip her wig? [Daily Mail]
• Amy Winehouse has been working with the Gorillaz instead of working on her own album. [Mirror]
• Amy Winehouse and Duffy are no match for Dusty Springfield, says a friend of Dusty Springfield's. [Telegraph]
• Did Whitney Port leave her job at Diane von Furstenberg, after being beaten out for a promotion by Olivia Palermo? [Page Six]
• Josh Hartnett was seen partying in Miami, so he's clearly recovered from that gastrointestinal problem which sent him to the hospital earlier this month. [UPI]
• Did Jimmy Fallon steal an album cover from the wall of a New York City restaurant and show it off on the Tonight Show? He's claiming it was a prop, but the restaurant has posted a sign, saying: ""Wanted! Jimmy Fallon. A free meal and drink to anyone who can retrieve our record cover back to us safely." [UPI]
• Tim Roth says he was a victim of child abuse. "It happened during my childhood up to my early teens and although I'm not going to say who it was, he's long gone now — and I hasten to add it wasn't my father or mother. Things happen to you in your life, but you don't want to consider yourself to be a victim — you want to be a survivor and the first thing that helps you do that and helps you get through it is speaking and finding your voice." [Daily Mail]
• WTF: New York Post film critic Lou Lumenick wrote: "You know a movie's got problems when the most memorable thing about it is Sienna Miller's moustache. That growth above her lip is clearly visible in two scenes, once in profile." How is that relevant to the movie (The Mysteries Of Pittsburgh) or her acting? [The Sun]
• Sienna Miller has dropped from number 45 to 202 on FHM's Sexiest Women list. [The Sun]
• Trouble in Kate Beckinsale's marriage? [Daily Mail]
• Jared Leto invited children rescued from a life of prostitution to sit in on a recording session with his band, 30 Seconds To Mars. [Monica Seles is opening up about her addiction to food in a new book, Getting A Grip. [Daily Mail]
• Long-haired heartthrob Fabio wrecked a Ferrari on Mulholland Drive over the weekend. Did you know dude is 50? [UPI]
• The Hannah Montana movie took the top spot at the weekend box office with a fairly respectable $17.2 million. [The Hollywood Reporter]
• Why the fact that Sylvester Stallone has Russian heritage is breaking news is a mystery. [Daily Mail]
• Sting and his wife have invited a group of friends on an all-expenses-paid luxury trip to Tuscany to discuss "social consciousness." [Daily Mail]
• Here's a profile of Carla Gugino in which she says: "I was so serious when I was young. My mom would come home and say, 'Carla, stop studying." Or, "The dishes are clean enough.' I felt that to be successful I couldn't drink, I couldn't smoke. But acting taught me to have a life that could feed my work.… I had a happy childhood, but I think it also pushed me to try to create my own sense of stability and made me very intense for my age." [NY Times]
• Singer Cassie shaved part of her head, and it looks cute. [NY Daily News]
• Two of Leona Lewis's cousins have been arrested for allegedly beating up and trying to rob some drug dealers. [The Sun]
• Ooh, a retrospective of Ray Liotta's career. He was so hot in Something Wild. [CNN]
• Bjorn Ulvaeus of ABBA says there should not be a sequel to Mamma Mia: "It wouldn't work." [UPI]
• In this piece, Sir Roger Moore talks about all of his ailments — kidney stones, shingles, low heart rate, etc — as well as his hypochondria. [Daily Mail]
• William Hurt will join the cast of the Robin Hood flick which stars Russell Crowe in the lead and Cate Blanchett as Maid Marian. [The Hollywood Reporter]
• Shenae Grimes of 90210 was asked who she'd like to come to the set: "Luke Perry, obviously. I mean, come on! We've all been dying for it. I still am but I may have to give up the dream." [Mirror]
• This sentence means nothing to me, but perhaps others will care: The Veronicas are dating brothers from rock bad Carney. [News.com.au]
• Blind item! "Which troubled starlet is getting over a bad breakup with a member of the same sex? We just hope the latter's current boyfriend doesn't get wind of the girl-on-girl shenanigans!" [Gatecrasher]
• "Trying to do an aggressive sex scene is quite difficult. Especially in a public place with a crowd of screaming extras with their little camera phones going click-click, talking pictures of your pasty white ass. I've had my fair share of bedroom antics in films, but they were a little more private." — Jason Statham. [Page Six]
• "I have made several mistakes and one of them was being overprotective of the girls, which has led to an impression that the school is isolating them from society. The majority of girls are thriving, really fulfilling the dream and vision I had. They really have exceeded any expectations I had for them. In spite of everything that's happened, what keeps me inspired and hopeful is the heart of every girl, because they are wonderful, they are magnificent." — Oprah, who has been defending the record of her school in South Africa. [USA Today]
• "He was in an Easter suit, with the Easter basket and the eggs and everything. Once you've seen Billy in a bunny suit, it's pretty hard to think of Easter in any other way." — Christie Brinkley on ex-husband Billy Joel. [Daily Express]
• "I wish I'd never worn an American flag motif swimsuit to the MTV Awards when I was in the Spice Girls. This was me hating myself and hiding under mountains of make-up." — Geri Halliwell. [Independent]
• "I don't think you ever retire from films - films retire you. Sometimes, if you're unfortunate, after your first film. What happens is you say 'I'm going to retire'. And then someone turns up and gives you this script. So you're not retiring. I don't have my next movie and I'm not looking for one. But someone will give me a script possibly and I'll work again. If someone doesn't give me a script that I want to do, I'll retire. But there won't be a great announcement or fanfare of trumpets. I just won't do anything. I'll stay at home and do what I always do, which is cooking, gardening and writing." — Michael Caine. [Daily Express]
• "I don't care. If I don't get food in my mouth, I'm still happy. If my pants are round my ankles, as long as I don't get arrested for indecent exposure, I'm happy. I'm worried about keeping my hair, not how it's combed. […] I don't know that [my kids have] ever seen Back To The Future all the way through. Just as Parkinson's isn't a big topic of conversation in my house, neither is my career. I go down to my office every day and they say, 'Dad's going to work.'" — Michael J. Fox. [Guardian]
• "Only 1,350 rockers were made, and we sold approximately 70 percent in the first two weeks. The collector's edition photo album has sold more the first week than any book we've sold at Cracker Barrel." — Cracker Barrel's VP of marketing on Dolly Parton's merch, which is flying out of stores. [Reuters]
• "I wish we could have shared a bed/but her life was not her own/That's what happens when you date a girl/from Driftwood Nursing Home." — from Bob Saget's comedy act. [NY Times]
• "What I love about Donna is she's never jaded. Donna can kind of go through anything and she still has that girlish quality about her. I think that's something she'd have at any age. That's Donna to me." — Tori Spelling on her return to 90210. [Yahoo News via AP]
• "It's not like we're not talking, we just haven't talked. I love my mother. I've always loved her [and] no doubt she loves me. There's no feud. We simply never meshed." — Tori Spelling. [People]
• "Chris [Martin] is a huge [Sherlock] Holmes nut. He said to me before filming, 'You've got to be gaunt. You've got to be as skinny as you possibly can to play Holmes.' So every time I'm reaching for a muffin I think about Chris and skip the snack. That's been tough." — Robert Downey Jr. [The Sun]
• "I know what you're saying, but it's not a character like in a book or a movie. He's not a bus driver. He doesn't drive a forklift. He's not a serial killer. It's me who's singing that, plain and simple. We shouldn't confuse singers and performers with actors. Actors will say, 'My character this, and my character that.' Like beating a dead horse. Who cares about the character? Just get up and act. You don't have to explain it to me." — Bob Dylan, in a rare interview. [Telegraph]
• "I knew I wanted to marry her pretty soon [after I met her]. It took a while for me to admit it, because it would be crazy to be like, 'I want to marry you' the first day I met her. But I could have!" — Chris Pratt on fiancée Anna Faris. [People]
• "I found I was really sleepy. I almost fell asleep during a Chris Rock show - live, front and center. I thought, 'I need to have a steak.' You have to do what works for you. Some people need meat." — Rachel McAdams, on why she's not a vegetarian anymore. [NY Daily News]
• "There was a television series that never got made by that woman who wrote that big role for Helen Mirren, Lynda La Plante. They wanted me to play – this is how they think of me – a woman who had been beaten up and degraded. I refused. I'm sure the British would not like to see me in a role like that. No way. [As for the film version of my life,] I hated the script. I thought it would be based on the book and not just made up. I had a long talk with my friend, the actress Carrie Fisher, about it and she said: 'You might think you were degraded enough but believe me, for Hollywood not nearly enough. There has to be prostitution, there has to be murder.' So I took it back." — Marianne Faithfull. [Daily Express]

• Madonna is in Malawi, asking the court for approval to adopt a second child. [Times of London]
• Madonna's adoption ruling has been delayed until Friday; the court has not revealed why.

The child in question is four years old and named Mercy; her unmarried mother died soon after she was born. Madonna brought both Lourdes and David to Malawi with her and David visited with his biological father. "I was very happy to see him," the father told The Associated Press, adding that David did not recognize him. "He asked me who I was." [Yahoo via AP, Guardian]

• Madonna has purchased land in Malawi so she can build a school for girls. Some residents are afraid they will lose their homes and fields. [People]
• Save The Children is not happy about Madonna trying to adopt and a spokesperson says: "What Madonna is doing verges on a puppy parade. People like her are looking for the most beautiful child. They wouldn't choose a child with a disability or special needs. It doesn't help to take one child out of an orphanage to a huge palace and buy them a pony." [Mirror]
• Is a Russian model/pop star named Irson Kudikova about to get engaged to Mickey Rourke? [Page Six]
• Britney Spears had passed President Obama in Twitter Followers, taking the #2 spot (CNN Breaking News is number 1). She tweeted: "#2 People!!! You guys continue to make me SOOO happy! I truly have the best fans on the planet! CAN'T WAIT for TEXAS tomorrow… - Bri." Then Ashton Kutcher stole the #2 spot. [PopDirt]
• This report claims that Britney's Gulfstream jet is a mess: "The plane is stocked with Twinkies, beef jerky and M&Ms," says a source. "When she's done, she just throws the wrappers on the floor." Plus, there are two puppies adding to the chaos, who "scoot" around like crazy. [Star]
• Breaking: Victoria Beckham seen in flip-flops! [JustJared]
• Michael Jackson's son, Prince Michael I, might join MJ on stage at the first of his London shows. That would certainly be… interesting. [MSNBC Scoop]
• Apparently Zac Efron's ears are dirty, because he was recently pelted with Q-Tips by a paparazzo. There's video, but chances are it will just make you sad. [ONTD]
• More Zac Efron ear wax news. What a world we live in. [TMZ]
• Rihanna went dancing and a spywitness says "It was like the queen of England was out clubbing. You couldn't even get anywhere near her, between the bodyguards and the people wanting to touch her. And it was so morbid, too — it's all because she was beaten." [E!]
• By the by, there is nothing going on between Rihanna and Frankie Delgado. But you knew that. [TMZ]
• Miley Cyrus cried upon winning Favorite Female Singer at the Kids' Choice Awards. "I really thought I was going to lose, so thank you, guys." [E!]
• Some are saying the crying was staged because Miley already knew she would be winning the award. She Tweets: "For all the haters saying I knew about my KCA before hand have nooo idea what they are talking about! I was so suprised! :) thank u again xo" [PopDirt]
• Neither Chris Brown nor Rihanna attended the Kids' Choice Awards. Rapper Soulja Boy was sad! "I was looking forward to seeing them here," he said. [Yahoo News via AP]
• A woman harassed Ricky Martin at a club in South Beach, where he and "several male friends" were trying to have a good time. [Gatecrasher]
• John Mayer works the short-shorts on his cruise, the "Mayercraft Carrier." [The Superficial]
• Mariah Carey was seen drinking glasses of red wine with a straw. Classy! [Gatecrasher]
• Lipstick Jungle is canceled. For real this time. [EW]
• Paris Hilton attended Perez Hilton's birthday Party in a convergence of things that seem so three years ago. [PopDirt]
• Fox is developing a dating show with "average-looking" people. By that, they mean overweight. It's called More To Love and the bachelor is a "Kevin James type." [Yahoo via Reuters]
• Fox News' Bill O'Reilly boycotts Sean Penn films. Think Sean Penn cares? [Yahoo via Reuters]
• Joely Richardson has returned to work, ten days after her sister Natasha died. [The Sun]
• Ugly Betty star Ana Ortiz is pregnant and expecting a baby girl at the end of July. She says: "I've had a great experience so far. Talk to me in another month." [People]
• Amy Winehouse is a thumbsucker. [People]
• Yes, the ShamWow guy punched a prostitute. Police say "Both parties had a strong odor of an alcoholic beverage emitting from their persons." [The Smoking Gun, Hollywood Rag]
• Monsters vs. Aliens scared up $58.2 million at the box office; big numbers. [USA Today]
• But one of the reasons Monsters vs. Aliens made so much? 3-D tickets cost more. [NY Times]
• Rhys Ifans has been cast in the next Harry Potter flick; he'll play Xenophilius Lovegood. [Daily Express]
• RIP composer Maurice Jarre, who wrote the music for Doctor Zhivago and Lawrence Of Arabia. [Independent]
• Blind item! "Which top actor got caught with his pants down in a club's closet with two very unattractive women, which his friends all proceeded to laugh at?" [Gatecrasher]
• "I was assuming that [my character's days were numbered] at one point and I got a lot of shrugged shoulders and shakes of the head, so I don't know if that's a yes or a no. No one will tell me and I don't know how this is going to go. I don't know if I live or die. I don't know how Izzie fares." — Katherine Heigl. [E!]
• "In the film we made penises, and I'm walking around them — we have made them more or less the same dimensions, but there are bug penises, giraffe penises, goat penises. They are like a forest of penises. … I was already playing a starfish, or a bug. I thought that stretch was much bigger, to be a sea creature than to play a male! But the real reason is sometimes [males] move more. For example, the female spider sits on the web, and she is three to five times bigger than the male, so he has to approach her. I was reluctant to do mammals, because they look so similar to us. But what's interesting about the whale is the female puts her vagina on the surface of the water, out of the reach of the male. Then she can see the males fight and she can select which one she likes, and then she turns over and lets him get to her. I thought, I can do that!" — Isabella Rossellini, on playing the parts of animals, in her web series Green Porno. [NY Post]
• "I'm looking forward to knowing what's going on - I still have no clue. The only thing I ever got right was the island moving, which was pretty good. But that's it. I don't know what the story is or where we will end up." — Josh Holloway, aka Sawyer, of Lost. He also says when the show ends he will get a haircut: "One of our camera operators had a beautiful Mohawk. I've always wanted one." [The Sun]
• "Rule one – you don't play on the snooker table unless you've been asked. And, secondly, you never, ever, take the shepherd's pie unless Keith Richards' broken the crust first." — Mick Jagger, on touring with the Rolling Stones. [The Sun]
• "My first bra was not very exciting. I was a late bloomer-the last of my girlfriends to get one. It was this horrible training bra-type thing, but it prompted me to save my money and buy my own darn bra. My mom was like, ‘You can't have the black lace one.' And I was like, ‘Why not?' I've never equated beautiful lingerie with seduction or sex. It's not about trying to get a man. Not at all. It's about surrounding myself with beauty in my everyday life-whether it's a bra or a notebook. I want everything around me to be attractive because I look at it every day." — Dita Von Teese. [JustJared]
• "The biggest misconception about me is that I am not a real person. The assumption is that my eccentricity is not who I really am, but it is. I have lost my mind." — Lady GaGa. [NY Mag]