Jezebel: menstruation

During That Time Of The Month, Do You Pretend It's Not?

Dodai — Mon, 14 Apr 2008 14:00:00 EDT

Over on the blog Bitch Ph. D., M. LeBlanc has written a story titled "Coming Out Of The Menstruation Closet." At the heart of this period piece is the the way we feel the need to to hide the fact that we're shedding our uterine lining the way healthy females do. Since she was 11 years old, LeBlanc has been paranoid about that time of the month. "I still put the tampon in my pocket, or tuck it in my waistband if I don't have pockets for the walk from wherever I'm sitting to the bathroom, to make the change," she writes. "I still don't think I would ask a female friend for a tampon within earshot of any dude not my boyfriend. And I'm twenty-five, for god's sake." Surely she's not the only one.

Writes LeBlanc:

Fourteen years after I started bleeding every month, I feel like I've mostly gotten the hang of it. But the other day, I realized the extent to which having 'gotten the hang of it' is only true within the limited context of our culture of concealment. Getting the hang of it means learning how to conceal it as best as possible, so no one ever knows you've got it. Where menstruating is embarrassing, and though almost every woman of child-bearing age menstruates, you still don't want any man not your intimate to know that you are actually bleeding right now.

The crazy thing is, we all do it. Hide tampons, check jeans fearfully for stains, feel a twinge of embarrassment when buying pads from a guy at the drug store. LeBlanc is not alone. "Why do I feel this way?" she asks. "It's utterly stupid. Because somehow my making these men aware of the fact that I am menstruating is going to make them briefly contemplate my vagina and then their heads will explode? Or is that I shouldn't impose my gross bleeding on other people because this is a Private Matter?" Or is it because women are supposed to be dainty, clean, unsoiled, smooth and perfect like dolls? Sometimes I find myself reluctant to admit that Aunt Flo is in town because I suspect she'll get the blame for me being upset or angry — when I have valid reasons to be upset or angry. (Then again, Aunt Flo also makes me weirdly emotional and burst into tears sometimes. Bitch.) Still, even though menstruation is healthy and normal, are you more likely to tell a stranger you have a sinus infection than you are to admit you have your period? Why do we spend so much time hiding when we're on the rag?

Coming Out of the Menstruation Closet [Bitch Ph. D.]

Flushing Your Tampon Should Be An Inalienable Right, Period.

Moe — Wed, 27 Feb 2008 16:40:42 EST

I dated a guy once who cared a lot about the environment. "I hope you don't use those awful plastic applicators," he told me once when I was on the rag. And I don't, because you can't flush plastic applicators, but I broke up with him anyway, and I would probably extend this policy to anyone who told me not to flush my tampons because of the environment or the pipes or whatever. In modern society our sewage systems should be equipped to handle whatever fluids we secrete on a regular basis, in addition to whatever amount of paper is required to absorb said fluids, and if that isn't the case, well, that is why it is great to be a plumber during a recession. The whole point of tampons is that you can flush them, and there is nothing more irritating to me than the male housemate who exclaims, once the first backup occurs, "Oh my god you've been FLUSHING YOUR TAMPONS?!"

Like, yeah motherfucker, that is what you do. I didn't choose to have a motherfucking period every month, but I was sufficiently blessed to be born in a country where most citizens have televisions and access to cars and the toilets are evolved many stages beyond the outhouses and holes in the ground used by our ancestors. So WHATEVER. I refuse to buy into this "don't flush tampons" crap when there are people who still can't pick up their dog shit and also people who charge their companies to fly around their own private jets and people slaughtering crippled cows and people mutilating other people's genitals...anyway, you get the idea.

Annuale: The Birth Control Pill That Will Grow You A Second Vagina

Jessica — Sun, 24 Feb 2008 15:00:00 EST

Those who are creeped out by Seasonale — the birth control pill that enables women to menstruate just four times a year — will enjoy this parody from last night's SNL. It's a commercial for Annuale, the pill for women who only want to bleed once a year and don't mind side effects that include axe-wielding, binge-eating, and bestiality, among other things. (At the end of the fauxmercial, a voiceover warns potential consumers: "Do not take Annuale if you plan to ever become pregnant, as it may turn your baby into a firemonster... Notify authorities in your town when your period is imminent as they may want to incarcerate you preemptively like a wolfman.")

Earlier: Is Menstruation A Girls-Only Gift Or A Modern Inconvenience?

Is Menstruation A Girls-Only Gift Or A Modern Inconvenience?

mcarpentier — Tue, 05 Feb 2008 14:00:00 EST

Menstruation usually sucks, except when you think you might be accidentally up the stick. But take the annoying physicality of expelling uterine tissue out of your vagina, add in cramps, bloating, headaches, mood swings, ruined underwear and the occasional odor and you've got a recipe for a major monthly headache. But would you ever want to eliminate your periods entirely? Salon is just the latest media outlet to pose that question, motivated by the sales pitches accompanying Lybrel, a pharmaceutical intended to allow women to avoid menstruating altogether. (Seasonale, a birth-control pill that reduces a woman's periods to 4 times a year, became available to American women in 2003...with Sex And The City writer Candace Bushnell as spokeswoman).

Although the marketing behind both Lybrel and Seasonale suggests that, without her period, a woman can be more productive, "in control" or desirable, the question, of course, is whether exerting (pharmaceutical) control over our reproductive systems is the ultimate expression of feminism or the ultimate betrayal of it. Salon's Tracy Clark-Fiory describes the shilling behind Seasonale thusly: "The pink pill, tag-lined 'Fewer Periods. More Possibilities,' was promoted as a lifestyle choice. The drug's current Web site offers a period planner allowing women to schedule their cycle around 'vacations, business travel, romantic encounters, and family reunions.' In other words, there is no need for public premenstrual breakdowns, missing a meeting because of debilitating cramps or dampening a sexual flame by having to bashfully explain it's 'that time of the month' The take-away marketing message: A woman in control has menstruation under control."

Clark-Fiory also quotes Mary Vavrus of the University of Minnesota, who likens menstruation-suppression to cosmetic, "objectifying" procedures such as breast implant surgery and describes it as a step backwards for post-pubescent women: "It's infantilizing, [the message that] you don't have to go to that next stage of maturation, you can hover in this liminal state between childhood and mature adulthood." Adds Karen Houppert, author of The Curse: Confronting the Last Unmentionable Taboo: Menstruation: "The problem is the 'welcome to womanhood' idea is not such a welcome thought to [young girls]. It's viewed as a restrictive role. It means girls who are 12 and 13 are leaving their childhood aside for other concerns that have to do with appearance, boys and weight."

The End Of Menstruation [Salon]

[Illustration by Cristy Road]

Period Pieces

Slut Machine — Tue, 29 Jan 2008 15:45:00 EST

There's a Flickr group called Not So Fresh Feeling created to collect pictures relating to menstruation. The offerings run the gamut from art projects, to vintage ads, to a picture of a discount douche, to a pair of uterus earrings, to a photo of a Pee Wee Herman doll sitting on a store shelf among boxes of Kotex. [Flickr]

Let It Bleed: A Look Back At Period-Related Advertising

Slut Machine — Thu, 24 Jan 2008 18:20:00 EST

Why is it that menstrual products like tampons, pads, and PMS meds are always marketed to us in the campiest way possible? It's almost as though everyone's so embarrassed about what periods really are that cheesy-ness, euphemisms, and blue liquid are used as distractions from the fact that vaginas actually, you know, bleed. (To paraphrase Alice Cooper.) Up top is an Australian ad from the '80s for Tampax with applicators, starring Naomi Watts, who bemoans all of life's hassles, particularly "that one you don't talk about." But you know how we do: We talk about it...and talk, and talk, and talk. Jeez, you'd think we couldn't get enough of our periods sometimes. Anyway, after the jump check out the gallery of vintage period commercials and print ads we compiled.

First up is a TV spot from the '80s for Always Plus Thin, that has one woman orgasmically exclaiming, "I love thin!"

This '80s Always commercial is advertising the latest innovation in menstruation: Wings.

This is actually a modern tampon ad that's probably one of the best things ever, if only because of the split the cheerleader does, with a full-on crotch shot right in front of the camera. It's for Playtex Sport. (BTW, what the fuck is a "sport" tampon?)

Here's some of that blue liquid for you, circa 1997.

Also from 1997, a Midol ad, in which we learn that "some men think strong opinions are a symptom of PMS."

About 11 years earlier, Midol's advertising was much more science-y.

Another one from the '80s, Premsyn PMS, "for the period before your period before your period."

Here's Courtney Cox in a Tampax in 1985.

From 1981, here's Tampax Plus, with "decorative packaging!"

From 1979, Playtex with deodorant.

This one might be the best of the oldies, since it features the triumvirate of feminine protection ads: Mother, Daughter, and Best Friend.

In this 1981 ad, Brenda Vaccaro managed to land herself a spokesperson deal.

And for shits and giggles, here's the SNL spoof on "Kotex Classic."

Check out this vintage Midol print ad:

From 1974, the copy reads, "Be the you he likes. Good to be around, any day of the month."

And lastly, wouldn't you kill for that futuristic Kotex outfit/box!?

Midol: So Your Boyfriend Won't Dump You [Feministing]
Kotex Gives You Wings [Vintage Ads]

Doth Not A Mentally-Ill Popstar Bleed?

Moe — Thu, 17 Jan 2008 18:00:00 EST

At 4:53 p.m., we received an email from Henry Seltzer at US Weekly informing us that the magazine had confirmed that in the event that Britney Spears dies, the Associated Press had an obituary written and ready to ship to the tens of thousands of news organizations that subscribe to its service. A few minutes later I IM-ed Anna, suggesting we sponsor an obituary writing contest, daring you readers to humor her while she was still alive with the type of false dignity and imagined significance she would no doubt be awarded posthumously in the pages of the Times. And about ten minutes after that Anna called me with some odd news: that the photo agency X17 had just posted a gallery of photos of Britney, labeled "EXCLUSIVE: BRITNEY SPEARS NOT PREGNANT" wherein a close-up of her crotch — clad in white panties and ripped fishnets — was displayed. The white panties were red with menstrual blood.

Usually when people in photos are bleeding I get a queasy feeling and have to lie down, but with Britney I just stared for a few minutes. And got up to grab a yogurt. I tried to figure out when I'd be getting my period, failed, and sat down again. (And ate some dates. Maybe soon? Whatevs.)

The moment this woman ceased to be an exaggerated symbol of the distinctly American phenomenon that is "peaking in high school" and started being something different entirely was so long ago no one even remembers it anymore. Was it that first guy she married? Breaking up with Justin? "Do you believe in...time travel speed?" We say we want her to come back, but hello! No we don't! All she ever was to this country was a celebration of our dumbest, vapidest, most brainless guiltiest guilty pleasures. Even her voice is like... the auditory equivalent of Bugle corn snacks. And there I go again, with the overwrought analogies we all use to justify the time I just spent trying to inject meaning into that which is ultimately devoid of meaning, substance into an individual who has none. Who was never allowed to have any.

Anna called up the agency to see how much the period photos were fetching. "They're not for sale right now," she was told. But they're currently visible on their blog. "It was clear she was conflicted about them," said Anna of the woman who co-owns the photo agency. But in this business you don't really feel conflicted until the thing's already up on the internet. UPDATE: Hence with the "obituary writing contest." I was making a point by admitting that. See here for another example an attempt to make this same point.

I don't care about Britney. Perhaps in another time her meltdown would be something of poignance. Even Ronald Reagan's fiercest opponents didn't swarm his house posting photos of him having his diaper changed because hello, mothefucker deserved it for the Falklands/Panama/Iran Contra/whatever. Maybe "hate" is somehow more humane than the sort of sheer, comprehensive indifference we feel towards Britney Spears, even as we have witnessed her every hair color, wardrobe and weight fluctuation fluctuation for ten years at this point. Yeah, it probably is.

I guess we won't know for sure until Lauren Conrad dies.

Is Anyone Still Scared Of Toxic Shock Syndrome?

Jennifer — Thu, 27 Dec 2007 16:30:00 EST

Helena Holmes, a 17-year old girl from Hull, England, came down with a devastating case of Toxic Shock Syndrome and subsequently went bald. But while bald, Helena was spotted by a modeling agent, who then signed her to a 3-year contract. (Thanks, Tampax!) Here's a question: Although most of us born before 1985 were duly warned about the dangers of TSS with regards to tampon-use, we haven't heard about it in years, nor known a woman who has suffered from it. (Apparently there was an outbreak of cases in the 80's, but things cooled down after that.) Anyway, in the interest of public service — and because, well, today is a reeaalllly slow news day — we've decided to ask the question: Does the fear of Toxic Shock Syndrome send you running to the Always aisle? (Side note: Maybe the easiest way to avoid TSS is to acquire a fashion-industry-mandated eating disorder and stop menstruating altogether!) Let us know after the jump.

Bald Toxic Shock Girl's Misery Turns To Joy After Winning Three Year Modelling Contract [Daily Mail]
Toxic Shock Syndrome [Kids Health]
Toxic Shock Syndrome [Mayo Clinic]

Floor-Surfing The Crimson Wave

Jessica — Thu, 20 Dec 2007 15:30:00 EST

Frustrated that your mom gets you socks every year as a stocking stuffer? Well at least she's giving you something originally meant for your feet, not your cooch, unlike the author of this email: "My dear friends, Somewhat embarrassing to admit, I'm not getting an annual bonus and Christmas is tight this year. I will be making [maxi pad] bedroom slippers for you all as gifts. Please let me know your sizes. You'll most likely agree that it's a splendid idea...I've attached a photo of the first pair I made so that you can see the nifty slippers for yourself. Awaiting your response. It's crucial that I get the right size for each one of you." Dude, we know money is tight, but you could just make your friends cookies. Just sayin'!

Are you a moody bitch? Good news! You can ...

Jessica — Tue, 20 Nov 2007 18:45:00 EST

Are you a moody bitch? Good news! You can now blame it on your entire menstrual cycle, not just on PMS! According to Australian researchers ,moodiness, stress and depression, are present all month, fluctuating throughout the average 28-day cycle. Apparently, stress levels are highest on day one of the cycle, while depression and anxiety are a problem during the PMS period. Researchers also found that it's more helpful to exercise than it is to cry and eat chocolate when experiencing premenstrual mood swings. These Australian researchers are assholes. But that's just my menses talking! (Thanks to blood sister Emily Gould for finding our fave period graphic in the first place.) [NEWS.com.au]

What Should Be In A First Period Kit?

dodai — Mon, 19 Nov 2007 13:00:00 EST

The first time they get their periods, many girls are simply unprepared. Which is why Kathy Pickus and Terri Goodwin, sisters from Seattle, created Dot Girl's First Period Kit. Kathy's period debuted during a family vacation, and even though their mother was a nurse, Kathy hadn't yet been given "the talk." "I honestly thought, 'OK, I'm dying,' " Kathy says. "It took a full day to tell my mom." Terri didn't have a dialogue either — their brother died in a car accident the week before she started menstruating and her mother was too grief-srticken to communicate. Now Kathy has a daughter of her own, and the sisters launched Dot Girl last December. The $18 kit is a zippered bag with an information booklet, a menstrual calendar, a gel-filled heat pack to ease cramps, hand wipes and three sanitary pads in two sizes. It comes in two colors: Sky blue and (the more popular) peppermint pink.

Dot Girl isn't the only first-period kit out there, but it is the most mainstream and affordable: The $80 New Moon Kit comes with organic cotton washable pads and Divine Goddess Naturals Moon Tea; the $145 Deluxe Birth With Sol kit includes a Menstrual Goddess candle; a $49 "Coming Of Age" kit from Woman Wisdom includes a DVD.

A "my first period" kit is a great start, but why stop there? Wouldn't it be nice if there was less weirdness, embarrassment and trauma around the first period — but more celebrating and chocolate? We went to school with someone who got a tiara and a "Girl, You're A Woman Now!" cake when she first got her period. Personally, we would have liked a period kit that came with Advil, a Snickers and a "Please Don't Talk To Me Today" button, which we would've pinned to our bookbag. What else do young women need?

First-Period Kits Like Dot Girl Help Tweens Come Of Age With Confidence [Seattle Post-Intelligencer]

Girls in sub-Saharan Africa miss as many ...

Jessica — Tue, 13 Nov 2007 17:45:00 EST

Girls in sub-Saharan Africa miss as many as four days of school each month because they don't have the necessary supplies to staunch their period blood. As a result, Always and Tampax are launching an awareness-building and fundraising program in the U.S. and Canada to help the situation. Um, did Always and Tampax ever think that maybe just giving African girls pads and tampons would be more cost-effective than spending millions of dollars making North Americans aware of the problem? Just saying. Also, yes, this is another excuse to use that creepy anime period cartoon. [MediaPost ]

Would You Sacrifice For Science?

mcarpentier — Wed, 31 Oct 2007 14:00:43 EDT

Did anyone else ever rent their body for science experiments in college? Those of us who did probably now wish we'd gone to UCSD, where their Center for Medical Cannabis Research recently came out with a study showing that moderate doses of pot can relieve moderate pain. While my preferred method of menstrual cramp relief has always been a hot pack, 3 Advil and a bottle of wine, I certainly wouldn't mind getting paid to find out how effective this method might prove — though, naturally, they seem to be more interested in, like, cancer and stuff. Don't they understand? Oh, wait, never mind. This is why we need more women in the sciences. [Washington Post, CMCR]

Period Sex: A 'Do' Or A 'Don't'?

Moe — Thu, 26 Jul 2007 16:05:01 EDT

Yesterday we decided to get "surprising" and poll our buddy list as to whether they believed in God. Now, that's not the sort of question that you ask our sort of buddy list without couching it in something totally smutty and gross, which is why we phrased the question, "Do you believe in God? And what about period sex?" Our inspiration was the August Cosmo, wherein we found a story that professes that periods and sex actually go together like um, Catholic school and plaid skirts.

Not only can climaxing relieve cramps, but the concentration of blood down below can trigger extra-intense orgasms for women.

['Cheap Cat Toy' photo via AllThinks, via Flickr]

Judging from our friends' anecdotes, period sex can be a almost religious experience! As one agnostic male put it: "People who get grossed out by period sex hate women, themselves, sex, happiness, and existence." We believe in all of those things! It's almost as good as believing in an afterlife.

One thing we learned from our resident pornography expert is that period sex is one sexual frontier that is not often fetishized in (non-Japanese) porn — probably because it feels, in the words of a friend's ex-boyfriend, "nice and gooey and warm" but looks, in the words of one of our ex-boyfriends, "like a crime scene." Of course, our friend Don (classic line: "Is your clitoris bleeding?") always used to say he liked the sight of blood. "It's like my dick killed something!" [Ugh. -Ed.] Still, as "gooey and warm" period sex lover points out, "no one likes uterine lining on the pubes." Indeed!

All told, the guys seemed more into the period sex than the ladies, which we found weird but then realized most of our guy buddies are the types of dudes who would, you know, hypothetically) fuck us, whereas most of our ladyfriends are just nice, tolerant, good-hearted, non-judgmental women. A fellow Jezebelle said she was "shy" about period sex, but that it was a huge turn-on when a guy was into it. "Like when he yanks out your tampon and just sticks it in a sock or something, like 'fuck it, we're doing this now'... that's hot," another woman elaborated. (Although, note to dudes: Taking it out with your teeth is comically gross enough to be a worthwhile story, but not something anyone wants to happen to her twice.)

Another blogger we know claimed her body went into a kind of weird shock when it "knew it was going to get laid" whereby the bleeding stopped. "Isn't that, like, just smart evolutionary normalness?" she asked. To which we said, ummmmm, yeah, if so, Darwin is probably trying to tell us something! Yet another girlblogger agreed with Cosmo: "I think period sex fuck yeah. more please! I am so horny on my period. And to be TOTALLY honest I like the down 'n' dirty aspect of it. And I think guys who can't get into it have body shame issues they need to work through or are gay." Yeah, whereas girls who can't get into it are either worried about the mattress or annoyed that they're being forced to do it in the shower!

Women Who Bleed More Likely To Wear Dark Colors

Moe — Tue, 17 Jul 2007 18:21:28 EDT

There's a new pill that will end your period forever! Goodness we hate that smelly blood.

In a presentation by Lybrel's maker, Wyeth, to investors and analysts last October, Dr. Ginger D. Constantine, the company's therapeutic director for women's health, laid the groundwork. Citing company-backed studies, she reported that menstruating women feel less effective at work and take more sick days. Not only that, but they don't exercise and they wear dark clothes more often, she said.

God, don't you just wish all women were marathon-running workaholics who never took sick days and possesed the confidence to wear bright colors all the time? It's really too bad all those MBAs are destined to die out.
Final Period [NY Times]

Stilettos: Bad For Feet, Bad For Exercising In, Bad For British Newlyweds

Anna — Tue, 10 Jul 2007 16:35:41 EDT

Talk about bridezilla: A just-married Scottish woman attacked her husband with a stiletto on their wedding night. [DailyMail]
Research shows that, well, along with their emotional states, women's physical performance declines when they're premenstrual. [Guardian]
Men who cower in the delivery room while their partners give birth by C section need to get over it: Tests show that babies born by C-section and quickly cuddled by their dads after birth cry less and fall asleep more quickly. [DailyMail]
Asian women who eat Western diets with large amounts of meat, white bread and milk may be at a higher risk for breast cancer. [BBC]

President Bush's push for abstinence among African women to help stop the spread of AIDS is, like him, stupid and ineffective, says one Ugandan woman, adding: "We are expected to abstain when we are young girls and to be faithful when we are married to men who rape us, who are not necessarily faithful to us, who batter us."[Feministing via The American Prospect]

Someday We May All Be Bloodless, 60-Year-Old New Mothers

Anna — Mon, 11 Jun 2007 11:25:13 EDT

More on the issue of new technologies that delay or do away with menstruation altogether. Writing in today's USA Today, Kim Painter reports on the opposition to period-less womanhood, singling out health experts, a documentary filmmaker, and a SF-based artist who has created paintings made of her menstrual blood ("I wanted to make something beautiful out of something that is usually thought to be disgusting," says Vanessa Tiegs).

But wait! Today also sees the news that fertility experts are working on a pill-based method to delay the onset of menopause and allow women to bear children at later and later ages. Hey, we have an idea! Why don't they just combine the two pills? And, while they're at it, maybe they can add in some sort of toxin that makes women stop growing pubic hair!
Menstruation: Cycle Of Pain Or Creativity? [USAToday]
Pill May Help Delay Menopause [Guardian]
A Journal Of The Monthly Renewal Process [LiveJournal]
Earlier: Women Learn To Make Menopause Jokes. But The IT Guy Isn't Laughing!
Period Panties No More!

We Promise: This Is The Last (But May Be The Best) Of The Maxipad Videos

Anna — Tue, 05 Jun 2007 18:10:57 EDT

This one's a little long, but if you fast forward to, say, 3:00, you might find yourself pretty amused (or disgusted, depending on how prudish you are). You may also find yourself curious: How can these people talk freely about menstruation but shy away from, oh, the word "vagina"?

Earlier: Another Maxipad Video (Minus About 40 Years)
The Wonderful World Of Making A Maxipad

Another Maxipad Video (Minus About 40 Years)

Anna — Mon, 04 Jun 2007 18:25:28 EDT

An alert reader has just clued us into yet another maxipad video, this one a clip from a 1968 instructional film called "It's Wonderful Being A Girl!". Two questions and one comment. Question one: Why did actresses working in the years before, say, 1970 talk in that weird cadence? Did they teach that at drama school? Question two: Isn't this girl a little young to be getting her period already? Lastly, we would just like to say thank god women don't have to wear belted maxipads anymore. Or even, you know, menstruate!

Being A Girl: How To Use Sanitary Napkins [YouTube]
Earlier: Period Panties No More!

There's A Crimson Tide At Jezebel HQ

Moe — Thu, 10 May 2007 18:28:01 EDT

Moeisaboysname: what is Lock talking to you about
annawinsatskeeball: he just said "how goes it"?
annawinsatskeeball: and i'm like 'uh, i have my period and moe and i are IM'ing about it'
annawinsatskeeball: HAHA
Moeisaboysname: all right so suffice it to say it has been an eventful week for my snatch
Moeisaboysname: which is not to say i have had any sex this week
Moeisaboysname: only that it has had just about every non sexually transmitted malady
annawinsatskeeball: herpes?
Moeisaboysname: and now THIS.
Moeisaboysname: what is your heaviest flow day?
Moeisaboysname: mine's tomorrow! can't wait
Moeisaboysname: especially with this balmy weather upon us!
annawinsatskeeball: Mine will be tomorrow as well, although today is second runner up.
Moeisaboysname: also: do you keep track of your cycle?
Moeisaboysname: because i don't.
Moeisaboysname: so you can keep track of both of us!
annawinsatskeeball: The way I keep track of my cycle is when I either start crying for no reason or I begin to break out in zits.
annawinsatskeeball: Do you use pads or tampons?
Moeisaboysname: but i wasn't that bad yesterday.
Moeisaboysname: tampons of course
annawinsatskeeball: Even on a heavy day?
Moeisaboysname: yeah i just like to stain all my underwear
annawinsatskeeball: I'm kind of over tampons
Moeisaboysname: it's my signature
Moeisaboysname: yeah i hate pads
Moeisaboysname: i'm not over them yet
annawinsatskeeball: I hate pads too but I am sick of sticking shit up my snatch.
Moeisaboysname: no you're not
Moeisaboysname: i know you better than that
annawinsatskeeball: haha
annawinsatskeeball: Tampons are also messier
Moeisaboysname: remember back when all the teen magazines used to have that obligatory
Moeisaboysname: "just bc you stick it up yourself DOESN'T MEAN you're not a virgin!!"
annawinsatskeeball: haha yes.
Moeisaboysname: wait, also:
Moeisaboysname: the hymen
Moeisaboysname: does that still exist?
annawinsatskeeball: I think evolution moved beyond it.
Moeisaboysname: hahaha
annawinsatskeeball: I began "practicing" with tampons before I even got my period.
Moeisaboysname: what?!
Moeisaboysname: wait, WHAT?!
annawinsatskeeball: I practiced once. Meaning I stole a tampon from my friend Rachel and went home and inserted it. And I couldn't get it out. Cause, you know, there was no MOISTURE to lube it up. And I was in the bathroom crying and my mom had to come help me. Of course it didn't help that when I panicked I bore down on the tampon even more which made it harder to remove.
Moeisaboysname: that is awesome
annawinsatskeeball: It hurt!
Moeisaboysname: i bet!
annawinsatskeeball: So why does no one ever talk about how you have to shit the first day of your period?
annawinsatskeeball: Or is that just me?
Moeisaboysname: uh
Moeisaboysname: i don't think i shit today
annawinsatskeeball: You don't get the shits when you get your period?
Moeisaboysname: no yeah it fucks with the bowels
Moeisaboysname: but everything fucks with my bowels
Moeisaboysname: not nec on the FIRST DAY
annawinsatskeeball: When the cramps start is when it happens. It's like the contractions of my uterus are also having an effect on my lower intestine.
Moeisaboysname: oh yeah
annawinsatskeeball: I'm giving birth in more ways than one!
Moeisaboysname: To a big bloody uterine lining mess... and piles of watery excrement. Nice!
annawinsatskeeball: I never said it was watery.
Moeisaboysname: oh haha
Moeisaboysname: PROJECTING
annawinsatskeeball: you think?
Moeisaboysname: my period was like a miscarriage ever 28 days all last year, just VILE.
Moeisaboysname: but somehow KNOCK WOOD it hasn't been the worst thing in the world this year
Moeisaboysname: i'm actually knocking wood
Moeisaboysname: hahaha "wood"
annawinsatskeeball: you are such a boy

NYTimes Asks: What Would Anne Frank Say About Seasonale?

Jennifer — Fri, 20 Apr 2007 13:09:44 EDT

The NY Times asks the big questions about menstrual periods today: Do we need them? What long-term effects do birth control methods have on the female body? How does Anne Frank's plight against the Nazis impact the way in which we bleed?

Views about menstruation have long been mixed. Some cultures have banished menstruating women to huts or required special baths after periods. Others believed that menstruating women had special powers.
In her diary kept while in hiding from the Nazis, Anne Frank mused about menstruation. "I have the feeling that in spite of all the pain, unpleasantness and nastiness I have a sweet secret," she wrote.

Next up: A report on yeast infections in Darfur!

Pill That Eliminates The Period Gets Mixed Reviews [NYT]