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New York, 9:44 PM
Mon Dec 14
67 posts in the last 24 hours

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    Dsmvwl  Admin  Promote to frontpage Approve user Ban user ×
    Image of Rooo sez BISH PLZ Rooo sez BISH PLZ
    12/09/09

    In reply to The Jezebel Dating Guide: Girdles, Submission, And You
    "Warning: you may become disorderly."
    *snickers*
    Well, they can *try* to restrain me, if they want ...
     Reply
    Rooo sez BISH PLZ was starred Rooo sez BISH PLZ was unstarred
    Image of pesematology pesematology
    12/09/09

    In reply to The Jezebel Dating Guide: Girdles, Submission, And You
    "If you were to stop taking care of your house and personal appearance, they would gradually and spontaneously start resembling this lifestyle."

    This didn't happen to me. Everything just started resembling the way my house looked after a move.
     Reply
    pesematology was starred pesematology was unstarred
    Image of Sarah Dove Sarah Dove
    12/09/09

    @pesematology: I want to see if I'll grow a mohawk!
     Reply
    pesematology promoted this comment Sarah Dove was starred Sarah Dove was unstarred
    Image of pesematology pesematology
    12/10/09

    @Sarah Dove: I tried many types of slovenliness but none of them caused a spontaneous, weirdly low-maintenance mohawk to form.
     Reply
    pesematology was starred pesematology was unstarred
    Image of Sarah Dove Sarah Dove
    12/10/09

    @pesematology: Well, I had one when I woke up this morning, but that's just what my haircut does when I sleep on it.
     Reply
    Sarah Dove was starred Sarah Dove was unstarred
    Image of pesematology pesematology
    12/10/09

    @Sarah Dove: Wow, good job. I guess you should give the magical-slovenly-punk thing a try, you're a natural.
     Reply
    pesematology was starred pesematology was unstarred
    Image of Sarah Dove Sarah Dove
    12/11/09

    @pesematology: But aren't punks supposed to be skinny and angular? I'm rotund. I think that could be a deal-killer.
     Reply
    Sarah Dove was starred Sarah Dove was unstarred
    Image of pesematology pesematology
    12/11/09

    @Sarah Dove: Everyone is supposed to be skinny and angular. You might need to check whether you exist.
     Reply
    pesematology was starred pesematology was unstarred
    Image of Jack_Burton Jack_Burton
    12/09/09

    In reply to The Jezebel Dating Guide: Girdles, Submission, And You
    The "punk rock lifestyle" boils down to being a slob?

    Fuck. I've being doing it wrong. I guess I'd better learn to like Nickleback.
     Reply
    Jack_Burton was starred Jack_Burton was unstarred
    Image of SlayBelle SlayBelle
    12/09/09

    @Jack_Burton: Hey!

    Hey!

    That's not even funny. Nickleback. Gah.

    I challenge you to fisticuffs, sir.
     Reply
    Jack_Burton promoted this comment SlayBelle was starred SlayBelle was unstarred
    Image of Jack_Burton Jack_Burton
    12/09/09

    @SlayBelle: As the 1938 examples state, when a man wants to dance, he wants to dance.
     Reply
    Jack_Burton was starred Jack_Burton was unstarred
    Image of SlayBelle SlayBelle
    12/09/09

    @Jack_Burton: True, true. May I add a little west coast flavor to the play list?
     Reply
    SlayBelle was starred SlayBelle was unstarred
    Image of boobookitteh boobookitteh
    12/09/09

    In reply to The Jezebel Dating Guide: Girdles, Submission, And You
    I have no words for this 'principles' thing. The guy that wrote it has serious issues -of which the raging and blatant misogyny is just one. He is obsessed with order, function and authority and correcting people's behavior. It reads like a serial killer manifesto from an episode of Criminal Minds.
     Reply
    boobookitteh was starred boobookitteh was unstarred
    Image of HuggaWugga HuggaWugga
    12/09/09

    @boobookitteh: I probably shouldn't have clicked on the link and given this guy the page view, but there's a section on the necessity of applying physical/psychological pain. Because apparently, it's needed to get women to do what you want (remember, they're just like little children!). Like forcing them to leave your apartment and telling them to get out. Scarily, physical pain isn't really discouraged, it just says that it's extremely painful for a person.

    This is some scary stuff, and I'm happy that most men I know wouldn't agree with this sociopathic screed. It's really too bad that you can't get locked up for writing this kind of stuff--with this kind of message, someone is going to act on it and cause harm to another person. (Wow, the guy who wrote this should be amazed--I am female, and AM thinking of someone besides myself when I say that this should never be published).
     Reply
    boobookitteh promoted this comment Edited by HuggaWugga at 12/09/09 2:25 PM HuggaWugga was starred HuggaWugga was unstarred
    Image of jabcrosshook jabcrosshook
    12/09/09

    @boobookitteh: Word. I went to the site and read through the comments and any time someone disagrees with him he calls them an idiot and tells them they can't read. Very mature!
     Reply
    boobookitteh promoted this comment jabcrosshook was starred jabcrosshook was unstarred
    Image of boobookitteh boobookitteh
    12/09/09

    @jabcrosshook: I don't expect too much in the way of intelligent debate from a guy who is citing personal blogs and Ann Coulter in his footnotes!
     Reply
    boobookitteh was starred boobookitteh was unstarred
    Image of jabcrosshook jabcrosshook
    12/09/09

    @boobookitteh: Yeesh!!
     Reply
    jabcrosshook was starred jabcrosshook was unstarred
    Image of Wit is periodically disensouled Wit is periodically disensouled
    12/09/09

    @boobookitteh: And for all his obsession with order, his thoughts, as expressed, are hopelessly jumbled, which is not a good sign. His work is just riddled with rather specious sophisms (although that might be giving them too much credit) and material fallacies.

    But I'm certain he'd be better at my job than I am, despite his demonstrated lack of coherent, logical thought, persuasive ability or charisma.
     Reply
    Wit is periodically disensouled was starred Wit is periodically disensouled was unstarred
    Image of SeriesofTubes SeriesofTubes
    12/09/09

    @boobookitteh: The best citation is this one: "And a recent study by Cooking Light further supports this fundamental difference between the genders by noting that sex for women is far from a necessity: [...]"

    I can't argue with a recent "study" by Cooking Light, esteemed journal of sex and gender.
     Reply
    boobookitteh promoted this comment SeriesofTubes was starred SeriesofTubes was unstarred
    Image of Rooo sez BISH PLZ Rooo sez BISH PLZ
    12/09/09

    @SeriesofTubes: Yeah, they flamboyantly failed to poll us low-carbers who Cook a little Heavier, with an excess of white, cracked black, and cayenne pepper, if you feel me.
     Reply
    Rooo sez BISH PLZ was starred Rooo sez BISH PLZ was unstarred
    Image of funnyface funnyface
    12/09/09

    In reply to The Jezebel Dating Guide: Girdles, Submission, And You
    Jezebel's dating advice is surprisingly close to my own.

    Step 1: only be with someone you actually LIKE as a person and enjoy being around.
    Step 2: don't act like a jerk.
     Reply
    funnyface was starred funnyface was unstarred
    Image of jigglyball jigglyball
    12/09/09

    In reply to The Jezebel Dating Guide: Girdles, Submission, And You
    Who wants to come to my house tonight and be both gradually and spontaneously careless? Once I have achieved this precarious mixture of carelessness, I will then gradually and spontaneously locate and burn all copies of Principles 101.
     Reply
    jigglyball was starred jigglyball was unstarred
    Image of ImperfectLit.Woman ImperfectLit.Woman
    12/09/09

    @jigglyball: So what time should I be over? I'll bring the wine and food.
     Reply
    ImperfectLit.Woman was starred ImperfectLit.Woman was unstarred
    Image of jigglyball jigglyball
    12/09/09

    @ImperfectLit.Woman: Which hour encapsulates all that is gradual and spontaneous?
     Reply
    jigglyball was starred jigglyball was unstarred
    Image of ImperfectLit.Woman ImperfectLit.Woman
    12/09/09

    @jigglyball: hmmm midnight?Lol. You might have to give me a few hours though to catch a plane.
     Reply
    ImperfectLit.Woman was starred ImperfectLit.Woman was unstarred
    Image of MargaretMoony MargaretMoony
    12/09/09

    In reply to The Jezebel Dating Guide: Girdles, Submission, And You
    "Careless women never appeal to gentlemen. Don't talk while dancing, for when a man dances he wants to dance."

    Approved by Lady Gaga.
     Reply
    MargaretMoony was starred MargaretMoony was unstarred
    Image of Bunsen Honeydew Bunsen Honeydew
    12/09/09

    In reply to The Jezebel Dating Guide: Girdles, Submission, And You
    So, why exactly do the Principles 101 guys want a girlfriend. As we learned in Cosmo yesterday, jerking off is more satisfying, and for that whole company when you're not jerking off thing... just get a dog? I don't get why those men want women when obviously they hate women? I hate Beef Taco Hamburgar Helper... so I don't buy Beef Taco Hamburgar Helper, I get something else.

    Oh and for the record, incase any Principles Guys come along and freak out, ala Cock Bib man... Just last night my boyfriend was telling me how much he loved having a smart girlfriend who always had something interesting to talk to him about. And we're two years in to the relationship, so it's not like he's trying to get into my pants. Not all men are like you, Principles Guys.
     Reply
    Edited by Bunsen Honeydew at 12/09/09 1:33 PM Bunsen Honeydew was starred Bunsen Honeydew was unstarred
    Image of AgnesGrep AgnesGrep
    12/09/09

    @Bunsen Honeydew: Their apartments aren't going to clean themselves and sandwiches don't magically appear without a woman around. Basically, they want a Real Doll that cooks and cleans. Oh, and she needs to be hot so they can show off to their friends. "See what I'm fucking. See. See. High five!"
     Reply
    jigglyball promoted this comment AgnesGrep was starred AgnesGrep was unstarred
    Image of TheFormerJuneBronson TheFormerJuneBronson
    12/09/09

    @Bunsen Honeydew: We learned...last week, was it?...that men need women. To do their laundry.
     Reply
    TheFormerJuneBronson was starred TheFormerJuneBronson was unstarred
    Image of Bunsen Honeydew Bunsen Honeydew
    12/09/09

    @TheFormerJuneBronson: @AgnesGrep: Kind of like Frank Reynolds' "Bang Maid" on It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia?
     Reply
    Bunsen Honeydew was starred Bunsen Honeydew was unstarred
    Image of jigglyball jigglyball
    12/09/09

    @AgnesGrep: And slacks just don't buy themselves. Women, can't live with 'em, can't live without their menial services.
     Reply
    jigglyball was starred jigglyball was unstarred
    Image of valosin valosin
    12/09/09

    @Bunsen Honeydew: I would guess that it's not nearly as satisfying to yell at your right hand, and try to humiliate it and order it around as it would be (for this asshole) to do that to another person. Plus the whole "maid" thing.
     Reply
    Bunsen Honeydew promoted this comment valosin was starred valosin was unstarred
    Image of AgnesGrep AgnesGrep
    12/09/09

    @jigglyball: I used the slacks thing in my post on the Adrants site yesterday. Slacks is such a crap word it's almost wonderful.
     Reply
    AgnesGrep was starred AgnesGrep was unstarred
    Image of Hana Maru, used up old slutbag on the pole Hana Maru, used up old slutbag on the pole
    12/09/09

    @Bunsen Honeydew: Once when I was feeling insecure, my husband told me that he'd been bragging to his friends that nobody ought to try to make a weak political argument around me because I would quickly and methodically dismantle it. He was proud of me.

    I also had a boyfriend who told me "You have a lot of attitude" and when I started apologizing he added "No, I like it. Most girls try to go along with whatever I want. You know what you want and there's nothing cooler"
     Reply
    Hana Maru, used up old slutbag on the pole was starred Hana Maru, used up old slutbag on the pole was unstarred
    Image of funzette funzette
    12/09/09

    In reply to The Jezebel Dating Guide: Girdles, Submission, And You
    So George Michael was right - time can NEVER mend careless women.
    I should have known better than to talk again, yappy bishes have got no rhythm. Now he's never going to dance again, the way he danced with me.
     Reply
    funzette was starred funzette was unstarred
    Image of Chamalla,barren crone Chamalla,barren crone
    12/09/09

    In reply to The Jezebel Dating Guide: Girdles, Submission, And You
    I read the entire Principles 101 guide about a month ago, I found it while I was researching an article. Was going to tip the Jez, but by the time I finished I had to take a shower with a wire brush.

    Dude is cra-a-aa-aaa-zy. And from what I can tell, has a lot of free time. Expecting boner trolls in 3...2.....1...
     Reply
    Chamalla,barren crone was starred Chamalla,barren crone was unstarred
    Image of netfe netfe
    12/09/09

    @Chamalla,barren crone: really did you read it all? i read few sentences and my usually low blood presure went threw the roof. you are a storng lady!
     Reply
    Chamalla,barren crone promoted this comment netfe was starred netfe was unstarred
    Image of Chamalla,barren crone Chamalla,barren crone
    12/09/09

    @netfe: I did! I was going to comment and I wanted to be well informed. Then I figured banging my head on the wall would be more effective, so I had a drink instead.
     Reply
    Chamalla,barren crone was starred Chamalla,barren crone was unstarred
    Image of netfe netfe
    12/09/09

    @Chamalla,barren crone: a drink sound owsome right about now... that a tip i can use!
     Reply
    netfe was starred netfe was unstarred
    Image of funzette funzette
    12/09/09

    In reply to The Jezebel Dating Guide: Girdles, Submission, And You
    Tips for single ladies

    If you need a brassiere, wear one.
    If he needs a good meal, prepare one.
    If you have bountiful breasts, bare one.
    If you want a big ring, ensnare one.
    If he wants to have kids, bear one.
    If you have any grievances, air none.

    If you score a husband this way, beware, hon!
     Reply
    funzette was starred funzette was unstarred
    Image of Snowbunny Snowbunny
    12/09/09

    @funzette: *slow clap* *awe*
     Reply
    Snowbunny was starred Snowbunny was unstarred
    Image of sableized (sister europe) sableized (sister europe)
    12/09/09

    @funzette: COTD
     Reply
    sableized (sister europe) was starred sableized (sister europe) was unstarred
    Image of Hana Maru, used up old slutbag on the pole Hana Maru, used up old slutbag on the pole
    12/09/09

    @funzette: Amazing!
     Reply
    Hana Maru, used up old slutbag on the pole was starred Hana Maru, used up old slutbag on the pole was unstarred
    Image of morninggloria morninggloria
    12/09/09

    In reply to The Jezebel Dating Guide: Girdles, Submission, And You
    "bitches" will attempt to subvert male authority by degrading the social status of men. Condescending remarks about social desperation, lack of friendships, lack of social competence or inadequate appearance are not uncommon.

    Bitches sound awesome!
     Reply
    morninggloria was starred morninggloria was unstarred
    Image of pantsless economist...access RESTORED pantsless economist...access RESTORED
    12/09/09

    @morninggloria: They forgot to add...ownership of several cats.

    PS

    Team Bish 4 Life
     Reply
    pantsless economist...access RESTORED was starred pantsless economist...access RESTORED was unstarred
    Image of Snowbunny Snowbunny
    12/09/09

    @pantsless economist...access RESTORED: Exactly: I don't need friendships or a social life. I have a cat.

    And I think sweat pants are perfectly acceptable for formal occasions if they're solid black, thank you verrrry much.
     Reply
    Snowbunny was starred Snowbunny was unstarred
    Image of booter26 booter26
    12/09/09

    @Snowbunny: I LOVE how Jezebel has appropriated and embraced the Cat Lady stereotype! Awesome.

    Yeah, we have cats. And we are stoked on our cats. Doesn't mean I'll be destined to a lonely tragic life working in telemarketing, the highlights of which will be my appearance in an episode of A&E's Horders and a notable death during which I'll slowly perish due to a malfunctioning Med-alert bracelet, cries of "I've fallen and I can't get up!" unheard, growing weaker and weaker as my feline companions' taste for human flesh intensifies, until they invite friends over, and eventually, probably weeks later, the neighbors notice I haven't gone out for a box of wine and an economy pack of corn dogs in my Tigger sweatshirt and dirty sweatpants at 11pm in a while, and find my cat-mangled corpse in a house stuffed full of decaying feminist literature and old copies of Bride Magazine (because obviously, my conflict between independence and equality and desire for companionship and a traditional life led to this horrible life. That, and my chronic inability to keep my stockings unwrinkled). I might even get a small article in the local paper, which will likely note my aforementioned appearance on Horders and the poor progress I had made struggling to meet city codes since the show 7 years earlier.

    Not that I've considered this possibility or anything. I'm good. My cat only eats dry food. I have nothing to worry about. Nothing at all.
     Reply
    Snowbunny promoted this comment Edited by booter26 at 12/09/09 2:45 PM booter26 was starred booter26 was unstarred
    Image of Snowbunny Snowbunny
    12/09/09

    @booter26: I am going to make a Lifetime movie of that story. It is going to be called "Box of Wine and an Economy Pack of Corn Dogs; The Tigger Shirt Story"

    My mom loves hoarders, so I'm sure that I will receive a call from her as I sit on my couch surrounded by empty cheetos bags wearing an ill-fitting True Blood t-shirt and a slanket after she sees your episode. If they never develop a taste for moist flesh they never will; you're fine.
     Reply
    Snowbunny was starred Snowbunny was unstarred
    Image of booter26 booter26
    12/10/09

    @Snowbunny: Hahahaha! I love it. That would truly be the highlight of my worst case scenario life (or as my brother calls it "your ghost of Christmas future"): if eventually some good came out of it all, and a Lifetime movie was made. Ooh, do you think we could get the acclaimed Meredith Baxter or Lori Laughlin involved in this project??? Or...dare I say it: Susan Lucci??!!
     Reply
    booter26 was starred booter26 was unstarred
    Image of Snowbunny Snowbunny
    12/10/09

    @booter26: I'm thinking Kristie Alley. But, like, Kristie Alley in "Drop Dead Gorgeous," not now when she is all crazy scientology and talks about being fat all the time. Susan Lucci would really have to go method and embrace the crazy cat lady and I think she would crack under the pressure and we would have "Too Much Television, Not Enough Cheese; the Susan Lucci Character-Experimentation Chronicles."
     Reply
    Snowbunny was starred Snowbunny was unstarred
    Image of booter26 booter26
    12/13/09

    @Snowbunny: I. love. that. movie. I judge potential new friends or boyfriends based on their reaction to it. If you don't think it is magical and want to watch it a million more times until you memorize all the best lines then maybe we're not a good match. As for our movie, we'll have to scratch Susan Lucci.clearly you have wise foresight into the potential pitfalls of her involvement--maybe we should be more ambitious in our selections. If Jennifer Coolidge or Betty White are interested in lowering their standards, they would be a dream. And Kirstie can only play if she leaves the crazy at home. No Scientology on the set!
     Reply
    booter26 was starred booter26 was unstarred
    Image of Zombie Ms. Skittles Zombie Ms. Skittles
    12/09/09

    In reply to The Jezebel Dating Guide: Girdles, Submission, And You
    You say "Dating Guide" I say "Male Dom Handbook"

    Let's call the whole thing off! No, seriously. Get out of my kitchen.
     Reply
    Zombie Ms. Skittles was starred Zombie Ms. Skittles was unstarred
    Image of funzette funzette
    12/09/09

    @Zombie Ms. Skittles:
    I say feminism, you say feminazi
    I say empowered, you say bossy

    Feminism! Feminazi! Empowered! Bossy!
    Let's call the whole thing off.

    I say you're a douchebag, you say you're a nice guy!
    I talk about rape culture, you say women lie!

    Douchebag! Nice Guy! Rapists! Liars!
    Let's call the whole thing off.
     Reply
    funzette was starred funzette was unstarred
    Image of Zombie Ms. Skittles Zombie Ms. Skittles
    12/09/09

    @funzette: Damn it, you just totally out-commented me, missy! If I were a man, that means I wouldn't go on a second date with you.
     Reply
    Zombie Ms. Skittles was starred Zombie Ms. Skittles was unstarred
    Image of funzette funzette
    12/09/09

    @Zombie Ms. Skittles: Pssh, you're the Fred Astaire to my Ginger Rogers, and I'm the Andrew Ridgely to your George Michael. Pick me up at 8.
     Reply
    funzette was starred funzette was unstarred
    Image of Zombie Ms. Skittles Zombie Ms. Skittles
    12/09/09

    @funzette: You sure know how to worm your way back into a girl's heart, you slavering whore.

    Now, let's talk some more about me.
     Reply
    Zombie Ms. Skittles was starred Zombie Ms. Skittles was unstarred
    Image of morninggloria morninggloria
    12/09/09

    In reply to The Jezebel Dating Guide: Girdles, Submission, And You
    My dating mantra has always been "don't sell yourself to him, don't sell yourself on him," meaning that if I feel like I'm putting on a show or trying to convince him to like me in a romantical way, then maybe it should stay in the friend zone, and if I need to convince myself that he's "really a great guy," then I am probably settling, and that's not fair to either party.
     Reply
    morninggloria was starred morninggloria was unstarred
    Image of Elaken Elaken
    12/09/09

    @morninggloria: Well that is a pretty damn good mantra. I think I am going to try that.
     Reply
    Elaken was starred Elaken was unstarred
    Image of candleflame candleflame
    12/09/09

    @morninggloria: Excellent dating mantra. It's all there. Wish I'd encountered that like, oh, 20 years ago.
     Reply
    morninggloria promoted this comment candleflame was starred candleflame was unstarred
    Image of morninggloria morninggloria
    12/09/09

    @candleflame: Unfortunately, I don't always follow my own rules.
     Reply
    morninggloria was starred morninggloria was unstarred
    Image of sequined sequined
    12/09/09

    In reply to The Jezebel Dating Guide: Girdles, Submission, And You
    I thought the trick to dating was to dress to please him, talk about him, and sleep with dudes only on and after date three? Also never call first, and only respond when he calls you.

    I don't see what's so hard about this, geez.
     Reply
    sequined was starred sequined was unstarred
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