Jennifer Lopez, in L.A., shows off the night's dress-code: tight, shiny and black.


Kesha, in London, is either sullen or really taking the occasion seriously. I'm going with sullen.


Everyone did some homage to MJ: Judith Hill's, in L.A., was one of the more literal. And it always works!


Mel B, in London, was all class.


Rosie Perez stands up to NYC's rainy chill with a power jacket.


Sherri Shepherd took a...cozier approach.


Monique Coleman rocked a popular L.A. choice: skintight leather.


Julianne Hough shows off another: the corset.


Nikki Blonsky, in NYC, matches her bag to her belt. Somewhere, both Michael and my grandma are smiling.


Paris Hilton, in L.A. of course, seems to have confused "Michael Jackson circa '92" with "Liz Hurley circa '92."


London.


Kind of love that, now that everyone else is in leather, Katy Perry does demure, deco-inflected lace!


Paula Abdul, in L.A., is a lone spot of color.


Vivica A. Fox, in L.A., treats the event with respect. The sexy kind.


Not sure what aspect of MJ's oeuvre Rosanna Arquette, in L.A., is referencing...


Or, for that matter, NYC's Carol Alt.


The brothers Jackson, in L.A.

[Images via Getty]

[London, September 16. Image via Bauer-Griffin.]

• Deets on the Diane von Furstenberg comic book! "With 'Be the Wonder Woman You Can Be, Featuring the Adventures of Diva, Viva & Fifa,' the new comic book she authored, she doesn’t just turn herself into a bonafide superheroine, but offers inspiring tales about women and the life-empowering choices they face — all with illustrations by artist Konstantin Kakanias." Plus, it's got the stamp of approval from real life WW's Gloria Steinem and Lynda Carter. We're sure the 13-year-old boys are already lined up! [WWD]
• Despite repeated evidence that she should never talk ever, Kate Moss is appearing on a new style TV show. [Fashionista]
• Kate Winslet is not, repeat, not, playing Vivienne Westwood. [People]
• In bad news for the environment and boring news for the rest of us, model Jessica Stam gets her pilot's license. Or talks about getting one. [Fashionista]

• Heidi Klum obviously hates Kenley. "We don’t change their words. What they say is what they say. So she was the way you see her. She was laughing at people at times, she would talk back. And it is a very hard thing for these designers to be on the runway and show themselves to everyone, but this is what you sign up for. You have to take the criticism. And I don’t think she could handle that very well. But she is a good designer." [LA Times]
• Gwyneth Paltrow sells hand-me-downs for charity. We're sure you can read all about it on her dumb blog. [ElleUK]
• Santino Rice has a reality show in the works. We very much doubt it will be "bigger than Project Runway” but whatevs! [Fashion Week Daily]
• This is cool: the Metropolitan Museum's entire costume institute collection is now online. [WWD]
• Banana Republic forces the Paul Taylor Dance Company out of its longtime home. Hey, Paul Taylor, people shouldn't have to walk a full three blocks to buy chinos! Stop being so selfish! [NY Times]
• Denim-distressing is a full-time job. [BoingBoing]
• Mel B's underwear ad. It's her, in underwear. [The Mirror]
• The consensus: Paris Fashion Week was the best of the bunch. But buyers are still cutting way back. [WWD]
• IMG — which handles all the, um, real fashion weeks — is no longer repping LA's. [NY Post]
• England's street-style program, The Clothes Show, bans super-skinny guys in oder to discourage "manorexia." (Interestingly, when my brother was in London, he was asked to appear on this. Presumably before this rule went into effect.) [Daily Mail]
• "A model will now be assessed if he is too thin by looking at his body mass index, with any model below 19 being classed underweight.Those with 26 and 28 inch waists will also be classed as the male equivalent of a female size zero and will not be allowed to take part." Suck it, Charlie Stein! [Telegraph]
• French It girl Lou Doillon is opening a store. She says vaguely, "We’ll have a mix of fashion, literature, modern and old, with more of an English than French influence, and not conventional." [ElleUK]
• Anya Hindmarch has hit Target. [Sonia Rykiel show sucked. "'The invitations promised everyone cab rides home,' said one of the 800 guests. But when it was time to head back to the City of Light, our reveler was shocked to find the meter in her cab 'had been running for an hour . . . All the cabs showed up an hour before guests left and started running their meters,' said our snitch. 'Nobody told us we would be paying for cabs, but we had to cough up over 75 euros to get back to the city. There was no other way to get home.'" [NY Post]
• Reshuffling at obscurely grossly-named Aquascutum. [VogueUK]

• Apparently emboldened by last week's success in Milan, Bruno — aka Sacha Baron Cohen — crashed Stella McCartney today. "With his red thong clearly visible above his jeans, the comedian — who was virtually unrecognisable in a flamboyant leather gilet, with his slicked-down hair dyed blonde and brown — sucked Tampax, clapped along to the music and generally disgruntled the front row by continually pushing aside those sitting in front of him for a better look at the models." He then delivered a "lone standing ovation." [VogueUK]
• In total radness: DVF to design a comic book in connection with her Wonder Woman-inspired collection. Really hoping she has to make the rounds of the comics conventions. [Fashionista]
• Chloe Sevigny gets into menswear. Well, Gallo will wear it. [Nylon]

• Andre Benjamin's clothing line is for the modern fop. "To create a persona for his fashion line, Mr. Benjamin combined his surname with that of Bill Bixby. The character is a world traveler whose wardrobe includes things like a $995 cotton corduroy blazer, a $350 felted waistcoat and a $95 newsboy cap." [NY Times]
• Whoever wears that will surely be the intended demographic for "J. Crew's first book." "Written by Max Blagg and illustrated by Hugo Guinness, What a Man Should Know is a collection of 50 (very) whimsical tips for the modern male. So what should you know? Chess, wine, and figure-drawing." [Men.Style]
• Some people claimed Heidi stole the Project Runway premise — aka the same setup every single competition reality show has ever had ever. A judge, not surprisingly, dismissed it. [wwltv]
• Michelle Obama sports H&M on the campaign trail. [BlackBook]
• Lagerfeld video. Nuff said. [NY Mag]
• Scary Spice Mel B wants a Project Runway-style reality show. Get in line, kid. [E]
• Rather than going bargain basement, Target courts recessionistas. [Business Week]
• More on Miss Sixty's woes. [BBC]
• Sorta It-Girl Cory Kennedy to replace Kinda It-Girl Daisy Lowe as the face of Docs. [Fashionista]
• Levi's tries way, way too hard: "The San Francisco company has launched a new viral effort it hopes will attract young men to pass along videos of customized "beasts" emerging from the button-fly of Levi's jeans. At Unbuttonyourbeast.com, visitors can choose from nine different animated characters with names like Trout Troutman, Paul the Pincher and Sock Nasty, then customize the beast's message by calling a toll-free number. The effort, unsurprisingly, is geared to young men just out of college." The emails are titled, "Do you dare to unbutton my beast?" [AdWeek]
• India eases the way for the burgeoning luxury market. [IHT]
• Guy Ritchie's first hit since hooking up with Madge: a Nike ad gets big on YouTube. [Telegraph]
• Naomi Campbell's gonna walk for Hermes; everybody flips out. [Fashion Week Daily]
• I wish these celebs would stop calling their mix tapes "albums." Anyhoo, Heatherette designer Richie Rich's, "Celebutante," is about to drop. [Fashionista]
• "If there were a gold medal for marathon modeling, Shalom Harlow would surely win it for the Viktor & Rolf fashion film that will begin today on the Dutch duo’s Web site. 'It was like the fashion Olympics,' said Rolf Snoeren, who, with Viktor Horsting, reenacted a high-tech version of 'Funny Face' to showcase their spring collection. 'It was 14 hours a day on high heels, but she was a champion.'” [WWD]
• 80's power shoulders are big (sorry) on the Paris runways. [WSJ]
• That gold statue of Kate Moss was just unveiled. [Mirror]
• UGGS are like cockroaches: all that will be left after a nuclear holocaust. While everything else is foundering, UGGs is way up! [WSJ]
• The Lauren Conrad line forlorn and unbought. [Page Six]
• Bossy new bikini has "decorative beads" that change color when UV rays grow dangerously high. [Telegraph]
• Screw Jimmy Choos. Cheap shoes make more sense for actual walking. [Daily News]
• "Margherita Missoni, meanwhile, has experienced some teasing for wearing vintage sparkling Harper’s Bazaar frames — due to an eye problem. 'Suzy Menkes says it’s my Sarah Palin look,' she laughed. 'It is definitely not inspired by her.'" [WWD]

• While everyone was busy focusing on the presidential debates, Scarlett Johansson and Ryan Reynolds got married. The ceremony took place Saturday night at a "remote wilderness resort" outside of Vancouver, Canada. The bride is 23, the groom is 31 and they have been dating since 2007. [Us Magazine, People]
• Heather Locklear was busted on suspicion of driving under the influence Saturday night in Santa Barbara, CA. Apparently a witness saw her driving erratically while leaving a parking lot. This report says: The witness said Locklear was revving her engine loudly, and backed over a pair of sunglasses several times." Cops found Heather by the side of the highway "disoriented and impaired." Prescription drugs appear to be the blame; Heather just left a treatment facility for anxiety and depression 2 months ago. She looks rather stunned in her mug shot. [People, TMZ, ET]
• Heath Ledger left behind at least $145,000 in assets and cash — but maybe as much as $20 million in the estate — and Heath's father has announced that every penny will go to Matilda. [News.com.au]
• The company that wrote Heath Ledger's $10 million life insurance policy is being sued after claiming the actor's death might have been a suicide, even though officials concluded it was accidental. If it was suicide, the company won't have to pay. [TMZ]
• Jermaine Dupri partied so hard on his 36th birthday that he vomited in Janet Jackson's lap. [Page Six]

• Paul Newman made plans to continue to be charitable after his death. One hundred percent of the profits from his food company, Newman's Own, continue to benefit camps for children with life-threatening illnesses and thousands of other charities. [Yahoo News]
• Barbra Streisand on Sarah Palin: "When you run for the second highest office in the land, you better be ready to answer questions from the press and the American people. […] This reminds me of the movie business...when the studio knows it has a dud on its hands, they ban reviewers from seeing it beforehand." [Campaign Silo]
• Amy Winehouse's friends have her on 24-hour surveillance because she is "in a very fragile state at the moment." [The Sun]
• Amy smacked someone in the face for no reason last Thursday, not that anyone is surprised. [TMZ]
• Did Amy's bodyguard hit a paparazzo with his car? [Daily Express]
• "Look where I am now. Look what happened to my dreams. This isn’t a life – I’m a mess, look at me. What life do I have? My life begins when Blake gets out of prison. He is my life, I want to see him." — Amy Winehouse. [Mirror]
• Could former drug addict Russell Brand mentor Amy? [Daily Mail]
• Victoria "Posh Spice" Beckham on her kids: "They are getting American accents. I think it’s really cute." [The Sun]
• Please to be looking at these "kinky boots" Posh wore: wet-look pleather with no heel. [The Sun]
• The Galaxy is called Major League Soccer's richest club, thanks to David Beckham. [Daily Express]
• Cammy Diaz's boyfriend Paul Sculfor stopped doing coke when his hair started falling out. He says: "I'm lucky it grew back. I'm not vain but I'm obsessed with my hair." [Mirror]
• Mel "Scary Spice" B will get somewhere in the six figures for "artistic yet revealing photos" for Playboy. Chances that the magazine cover line will be "Zigazig-ah!": High. [Mirror]
• You know Amy Adams of Junebug and Enchanted? Her mom works at Starbucks. "I was like, 'Mom, you cannot tell everybody who comes in to get a latte that your daughter is an Oscar nominee." [Page Six]
• A while back, Kate Moss drew a self-portrait in lipstick; Pete Doherty wrote, "Who needs blood when you've got lipstick?" on the canvas; Saturday it was purchased for £33,600 at auction by a "mystery buyer." [BBC News]
• Jack Osbourne and his mom Sharon witnessed a dude steal a woman's purse; Jack chased the guy and tackled him, restraining him until cops arrived. "I could see the girl was in trouble; it just felt like the natural thing to do. I'm glad it turned out OK," Jack says. Get the man a cape! [UPI]
• Chris Brown and Rihanna hit Kentucky Fried Chicken and Ri's shoes are pretty intense for a fast food outing. [The.Life Files]
• Don't use your BlackBerry at the table when Countess Luann de Lesseps is in the area; she will school you. And if you're Asian, she'll tell you that European men "adore Asian females because of their submissiveness. So work that to your advantage." [Page Six]
• Kylie Minogue is set to perform at the opening of the Atlantis Hotel in Dubai in November, but the terror threat level is high for the event. [News.com.au]
• A Kylie musical??? [The Sun]
• Dennis Quaid is pissed that Meg Ryan's been blabbing about their their past. "It was eight years ago, and I find it unbelievable that Meg continues publicly to rehash and rewrite the story of our relationship," he says. [Rush & Molloy]
• Have you seen that Kid Rock/Dale Earnhardt Jr. commercial for the National Guard? You will want to harm yourself or others. [Jossip]
• A remake of My Fair Lady will star Keira Knightley and either George Clooney or Brad Pitt. The two friends are battling for the role of Henry Higgins, each offering to take a pay cut. Who do you think should play the professor? [Daily Express]
• Ricky Gervais is not necessarily going to host the Oscars. The producers haven't made any decisions yet. [Daily Express]
• Kristin Scott Thomas makes films in English and in French. "So far there hasn’t been much crossover between the French-language career and the English one, but maybe it will happen this time," she says. Her film I've Loved You So Long opens October 24. [NY Times]
• Sure, she battled heart disease before going to Dancing With The Stars, but Toni Braxton is a surivor, not a victim. Get it right. [TMZ]
• Kathy Griffin is suing the cybersquatters who own KathyGriffin.com. Only Kathy makes fun of Kathy! [Perez Hilton]
• Grammy-winning R&B singer Kenneth "Babyface" Edmonds and his girlfriend Nicole Pantenburg have welcomed their first child together. [People]
• Tina Turner's concert tour starts October 1 in Kansas City, MO. "I've been away from America — home — for at least a good 12 years. I have some memories of certain towns and when we started to think about where to start… Kansas City and St. Louis were areas I played a lot, a lot, when I was here." She also says: "I think the costumes are fantastic." [UPI]
• A Sean John employee got his hands on Pharrell Williams' e-mail address somehow and contacted him repeatedly; the "situation" was "handled internally." [Page Six]
• Jeremy Piven: Seen swigging booze out of a tiny bottle during the Emmys. [Page Six]
• Blind items: "Which fame-hungry 'social' spends so much time stuffing cocaine up her nose, her hangers-on have taken to calling her 'Coco Puff?' Which designer daughter and her husband are stirring the pot on both coasts? She had tongues wagging in LA over her scary skinny bod, while her other half was recently kicked out of a Hamptons hot spot for slugging another guy." [Page Six]
• Little Britain: The Movie? [Mirror]
• Rolling Stone Ronnie Wood faces £50million divorce pay-out after he is pictured on intimate date with Russian lover, 20. [Daily Mail]
• Clark Gable almost walked off the set of Gone With The Wind because of rampant racism. [Page Six]
• Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band will perform at this year's Super Bowl halftime show in Tampa, FL. [CNN]
• "Contrary to a spate of recent reports, Robert Plant will not be touring or recording with Led Zeppelin. Anyone buying tickets online to any such event will be buying bogus tickets." — A statement from Robert Plant. [BBC News]
• "You sit there and say, Who am I selling this movie to? Who’s the audience? And the answer is, No one." — A Hollywood insider on Tom Cruise's new flick, Valkyrie. [Fox 411]
• "There was something about him. There was definitely this sensation that we already knew each other, we just had to get better acquainted. It was very intense very early on and we were very much attracted to each other." — Bob Dylan's former long-term girlfriend, Suze Rotolo, who is on the cover of his breakthrough album Freewheelin’ Bob Dylan. [Daily Express]
• "Everybody’s like, 'Oh, we’ve been waiting for this album forever.' But no one has waited longer than me. I’ve been waiting since I was 7 years old." — Jennifer Hudson, whose self-titled debut drops tomorrow. [NY Times]
• "My heart just feels a little bit different, softer and somehow more in love. I don't know how. But it just feels really romantic and lovely." — Ellen DeGeneres on married life. [People]
• "It’s fun, it’s not meant to be taken so seriously, it’s cheeky, and let’s face it, we’re living in a world right now where the economy has gone into hell in a hand basket, our environment is in a lot of trouble, and the world is just not a great place, we’re still at war. If I can throw some humor out of speaking in third person, it’s really not that serious, and I think we have a lot bigger issues in this world to worry about than what tense I’m speaking in." — Project Runway's Suede. [NY Mag]

• The crew on Madonna's world tour is threatening to quit because they had to stay at a cheap airport hotel while she stayed in an £11,000-a-night castle. It cannot be confirmed whether or not Her Madgesty said, "Let them eat cake." [Mirror, WOW Report]
• Here's the latest on David Duchovny: He may have had an addiction to online porn. And he may have released a statement about it because he was already in treatment and a fellow patient was about to sell info to the tabloids. [Fox News]
• Looking back at old interviews, Duchovny revealed his love of porn and '80s porn stars. [People]
• Meanwhile, Tea Leoni has canceled her appearance at the Toronto Film Festival. [People]
• Lindsay Lohan hung out with Sam Ronson instead of going to her grandfather's wake on Long Island. [The Sun]
• Lindsay signed a MySpace message "This song is for SR… ILY." Translation: "This song is for Sam Ronson. I love you." [Pop Dirt]
• Are Queen Latifah and her long time partner Jeanette Jenkins planning on adopting? Are they out now? [ONTD]

• Some dude's been arrested for stealing a digital camera that had pictures of Kate Middleton and Prince William vacationing in Mustique together. The camera belonged to Kate's little sister Pippa and the guy intended to sell the snaps to the tabloids, obvs. [Daily Mail]
• Kevin Spacey: Seen pinching the bare bottom of some dude. [Mr. Paparazzi, via Perez Hilton]
• Says a witness: "Kevin looked like he was having a brilliant time." [The Sun]
• Elisabeth Hasselbeck of The View is heading to the Republican National Convention on Thursday. She'll fly in and out on the same day. "I must really want John McCain elected," she says, "because I would not get on a plane like that for anyone else." Oh, the sacrifice! Thank God McCain has you. [NY Daily News]
• The apocalypse is nigh: Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt are opening a bar. In NEW YORK. To be called The Hill. [W]
• Save Katie! The anti-Scientology group Anonymous will be protesting at opening night of Katie Holmes' Broadway debut in All My Sons. "We aren’t looking to shut it down, we just want to prove a point," says a spokesperson. [MSNBC]
• Josh Hartnett and and unnamed female friend went into a little-used library at a SoHo hotel and started getting "hot and heavy." Since the hotel — and the library — are under security camera surveillance, the staff saw a little show on a monitor. No video link, sorry! [MSNBC]
• Michael Phelps shot a cameo for the new season of Entourage. "It was like being in New York City with one of the Beatles," Kevin "E" Connolly says. "People were stopping in the streets and climbing up things to see him. They were going nuts. He's like a superstar." [Yahoo News]
• Meanwhile, Michael Phelps is totally not talking about the ladies and doing his best to have some privacy: "I never said I have a girlfriend, and I never said I don't have a girlfriend," he says. [People]
• DNA evidence has linked an air conditioning repairman to the 2001 stabbing death of Ashley Ellerin, Ashton Kutcher's former girlfriend. [Yahoo News]
• Johnny Depp was on stage with his old band! One night only! He played guitar and sang backup! It was for charity. [Yahoo News]
• This was probably inevitable but still: Oy: Agyness Deyn is working on a Hollywood career. [Daily Mail]
• Not that you asked, but Britney has been working out "super hard" and is in "great shape." [Page Six]
• Angelina Jolie would like to work on a European film. "No one has asked me yet," she says. "When I can really speak it, maybe I'll try out for a French film in a few years." [Breitbart]
• Sienna Miller and Balthazar Getty: Moving in together? They looked at a $22 million mansion in Malibu and Sienna liked it. (At that price point, what's not to like?) [Perez Hilton]
• Maroon 5's Adam Levine: Seen hitting on newly single Anne Hathaway at the Vanity Fair DNC party. Uh-oh, isn't Adam on that herpes chart? [Fox News]
• James Gandolfini, 46, married his fiancée Deborah Lin, 40, in her hometown of Honolulu, Hawaii on Saturday. "They both wore long, green leis around their necks," says a source. "There were lots of white flowers on the tables and Gandolfini was beaming." [People]
• French actress Emmanuelle Beart and director Fabrice Du Welz are defending their latest movie, Vinyan, in which Beart stars as a mother who loses her son to the 2004 tsunami but refuses to believe he is dead. The character and her husband go looking for the kid in the jungle of the Thai-Myanmar border and stumble across a terrifying world ruled by savage children. It's a horror film, but the director says, "I tried to be as respectful as I can. I don't want to be unpleasant to people who have really suffered from the tsunami." [Yahoo News]
• John Mayer got really drunk and partied with a blonde cocktail waitress on the last night of his world tour. On stage, he mentioned reading The Secret and said "I had a conversation recently, and a lot of tears were exchanged." Jen Aniston, sniff, sniff. [People]
• This is just coming out now, but apparently Amy Winehouse overdosed twice last year: Once in July, from smoking hash for 36 hours; next in August from cocaine, heroin, ecstasy, ketamine and crystal meth. Now she might have brain damage or schizophrenia from the drugs. [The Sun]
• Another "Amy Winehouse may have brain damage" story. [Daily Mail]
• Headline of the day: "Could Scarlett Be The Next Spielberg?" Yes, Ms. Johansson wants to direct. [Daily Express]
• Mel Gibson has become "close to" a "glamorous Russian musician" on the set on his new movie but he says she's just a colleague and he remains happily married. [Daily Mail]
• The stage musical version of 9 To 5 features 19 new Dolly Parton songs. "She's so lovely and so humble," producer Robert Greenblatt says. "She says, 'I'm not sure I'll get you the whole way there, but I'd love to give it a try. If something doesn't work exactly, I'll rewrite it.'" [Variety]
• Colin Farrell saved this homeless guy's life by giving him cash and telling him: "You need to get your life together, man, promise me. And make sure you go see my new movie." [Toronto Sun]
• Jude Law is visiting Afghanistan to promote peace. Yeah, I dunno. [AP]
• Sign of the recession? Diddy had to give up his private jet. [The Star]
• Natalie Portman won a humanity award at the Venice Film Festival, where she made her directorial debut with a short film called Eve. [The Star]
• Duran Duran fan? Maybe you wanna read about how cocaine destroyed the band. Written by Andy Taylor! [Daily Mail]
• Sixty-two year old Cher has a 36 year old man and she hired a private jet to fly him and two of his buddies to Memphis to catch a Merle Haggard show, which is kind of awesome. [Page Six]
• Michelle Williams and Spike Jonze: Still on. [Page Six]
• Leanne Rimes, 26, has been married for seven years, and says she is ready for a baby. [People]
• "You are bugging the fuck out… No disrespect. …Alaska? I don't even know if there's any black people in Alaska. If you really think we're gonna let you win the election with these crazy decisions that you're making, you're bugging." —Diddy's thoughts about Sarah Palin in a video directed to John McCain. [Perez Hilton]
• Jerry O'Connell says pregnant wife Rebecca Romjin craves lemonade and soy cream cheese. "Can't be cream cheese. Soy cream cheese. Do you know how difficult it is to find soy cream cheese? It's usually in the corner of the supermarket someplace!" [People]
• "The easiest sex scene I have done was in Mulholland Drive because it was with another woman. There was no awkwardness. There was no sexual tension." — Naomi Watts. [Sydney Morning Herald]
• "When it comes to fashion, I know about as much as Betty. I love to play dress-up and it’s fun, but I’m not interested in the fashion world. If I wasn’t an actress, I’d probably want to be a teacher." — America Ferrera. [Mirror]
• "I always knew I was never the prettiest or ugliest girl in the room. Life's too short to inject botulism into you face to get rid of a tiny line because you've laughed too much. I don't feel a need to lose weight, because I'm not 21. I'm happy with my package." — Ashley Jensen, aka Christina on Ugly Betty. [Daily Mail]
• "It's very strange to be here in London without Anthony Minghella, whom I loved very much, and very painful. I was so frightened in the first week of shooting The English Patient, I was trembling, but he was trying to find a way to win my trust, and he just said to me, 'Well, fly...' and I did and it changed my life." — Juliette Binoche. [Independent]
• "Victoria and I are very different. People bracket us together because we live in the same city and we’re both interested in fashion. Victoria’s fashion line has been very successful and, hopefully mine will be too. But that’s where the similarities begin and end." —Melanie "Scary Spice" Brown. Not that you knew she had a fashion line. [Daily Mail]
• "The only thing I can cook really is mince meat, which is ironic because I'm a vegetarian. But I like calzone and lasagne. I cooked every day in Spain so David and the boys lived off minced meat for four years. I cook a Sunday dinner every single Sunday I'll have you know. My kids like Yorkshire pudding so I make that, I can make it from scratch and I make Dora the Explorer cakes for afters because the kids love them." — Victoria "Posh Spice" Beckham. [Daily Mail]
• "I can't even think about having another baby right now. The boys take up so much of my time." — Victoria Beckham. [Mirror]
• "I don't care for [romantic comedies] where the guy is emasculated, tossed around by the woman, and lacking a point of view. It's a disservice to both the male and the female. I like to give my guys some balls" - Matthew McConaughey to Plenty magazine. [Page Six]
• "I kind of want to see how the audience responds first. I don't want to overstay my welcome." — Shannen Doherty, on whether she will stick with the new 90210. [LA Times]
• "I informed British Airways of my late arrival. I told them I was a kind of minor celebrity and I might get a bit of hassle at the airport. Turns out they are complete arseholes. Even when I fell over and badly creased my hat, I had no assistance. I was crying but I didn't want them to see. A cynic might say I missed the plane, an honest man might say I went to the airport a little late." —Pete Doherty. [Mirror]
• "I think manipulation is something that women do a lot, it's still our number one problem. You look at those characters [in The Duchess] — Georgiana and Bess — and they're hugely trying to outmanoeuvre each other, but I think it's also possible for intense love affairs to happen between women — not necessarily sexual, but things can obviously take a sexual turn. Women do get obsessed with other women — whether they love them or hate them, and I think that line is very easy to cross." — Keira Knightley [Guardian]

• For the love of God, please let Dolly Parton get her own makeup line. [Chic Report]
  
• The Pope hates expensive shit. [WWD, sub req'd]
  
• "We're one of her favorite stores," says a spokeswoman for Henri Bendel of Shopaholic Isla Fisher. [WWD, 1st item]
  
• WTF? The New York Ranger's Sean Avery is interning at Vogue this summer? Maybe Anna Wintour can teach him some fashion closet cross-checking techniques. [WWD, 1st item]

• Pete Wentz on his favorite stores: "I love H&M and Urban Outfitters. I'm so not above shopping there or anything. They have such cool stuff and it's not expensive." [WWD, 5th item]
• For every one of Lauren Bush's FEED bags you buy at your local Whole Foods starting May 1, 100 kids in Rwanda can eat. Anya Hindmarch could learn a thing or two from Ms. Bush. [WWD, 2nd item]
• No, women really don't need special accessories to cover up their bulging belly buttons while pregnant. [LilSugar]
• Stephanie Seymour isn't just the new fashion editor at Interview, but the new face/body of Chantelle undergarments too. [Yahoo]
• Speaking of spokesmodel panty raids, Melanie "Scary Spice" Brown has signed on as the new face/body of Ultimo underwear. [a href="http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/main.jhtml?xml=/news/2008/04/22/nmel122.xml">Telegraph]
• The latest trend for Australian boys? Wearing women's clothing. [News.com.au]
• D-list designer Anand Jon, who was charged with numerous counts of sexual abuse and rape has two new (female) defenders. [Hindu Times]

The Good:

Justin Timberlake and his mom ASCAP's Loretta Munoz complement each other and look ready for spring!

Wow, that color makes Keri Hilson glow. She looks fresh, pretty and appropriate. Time to sing that song she did with Timbaland: "I like you just the way you are."

Katy Perry's little strapless dress is adorable!

Nicole Richie probably spent all night pulling this dress up, since it appears to be dangerously close to falling down. But she looks amazing. Brava!

The Bad:

Animal print again, Scary Spice Melanie Brown?!?! Think outside the bun. Look to Keri Hilson for hints. Also, those boots are hideous.

Natasha Bedingfield would like to welcome you to the Love Boat. She's sailing to waters where it is okay to accessorize like a drunk celebrity on Match Game.

Sara Bareilles also needs to look at Keri Hilson and swap those scuffed boots for some pretty sandals. Maybe she's trying to keep it real, but she's got a freakin' radio hit. She can afford some pumps.

The Ugly:
Awful hair, ugly T-shirt, terrible jeans: At least Da Brat is consistent.

Hey, Fergie Ferg, not sure exactly what is going on with the neckline and waistline of your dress, but something is off. I know this is shot at a weird angle that makes your head look big, and that's not your fault, but a dress with wide-set straps would be more flattering to your neck and shoulders.

Lionel Richie and Steve Miller honoured at L.A. awards [Reuters]

[Images via Getty.]

• Avril Lavigne is pregnant! Maybe! [News.com.au]
  
• Janet Jackson has been asking designers like Badgley Mischka for bridal gown samples! Is she going to marry that gremlin Jermaine Dupri? [Page Six]
  
• Janet poses as brother Michael from Off The Wall on the new cover of Vibe. [Concrete Loop]
  
• Oooooh, George Clooney on the cover of Time! [The.Life. Files]
  
• Is it a girl for Minnie Driver? She was seen buying girly baby clothes from J. Crew and talking about her pregnancy. [Page Six]
  
• Pink says her divorce is not about cheating, anger or fighting. She writes on her Web site: "One never knows the future, but mine and Carey's just might involve beach babies and sunshine one day. Just not right now." [People]

• Spencer Pratt is trying to get himself and Heidi Montag a reality show of their very own, awww. And when meeting with producers, Spence does all the talking; Heidi's not allowed to open her mouth. Romantic! [Page Six]
• Milo Ventimiglia on when people gossip about his relationship with Hayden Panettiere: "It makes me smile." [People]
• In Las Vegas, Victoria Gotti and anti-fur actress Marsha Thomason, aka "Naomi" from Lost, got into a loud squabble over Gotti's fur coat. It'd be a lot more interesting if they were both more famous, but whatevs. [Page Six]
• Blind item! "Which pop diva goes to great lengths to keep her entire body glowing? When she spray-tans, she demands her nether regions get the treatment as well." [Page Six]
• Blind item! "Which producer who's well known for his voracious appetite for women has a funny modus operandi? He asks actresses seeking roles to come up to his hotel suite, then excuses himself to go use the restroom and comes back wearing only a robe?" [Page Six]
• The LAPD is investigating whether Sam Lutfi drugged Britney Spears. Several witnesses have been interviewed regarding the drugs in Brit's system when she was most recently committed. [TMZ]
• A judge doesn't think Britney's conservatorship needs to be a federal case. No shit. [TMZ]
• Brit's dad Jamie doesn't want the case transferred to federal court either. [People]
• Britney's driving-without-a-license case was put on hold because her lawyers do not think she is "qualified or capable" to deal with it right now. [CNN]
• Two paparazzi were arrested while trying to photograph Britney Spears at a hair salon; two others were arrested outside a nightclub as the LAPD cracks down on photogs obstructing traffic and causing chaos. Two of the snappers were from TMZ. [USA Today]
• Amy Winehouse was reportedly "fantastic" at the Brit Awards, yay for her! [Mirror]
• Angelina Jolie took Maddox to see The Spiderwick Chronicles yesterday. Damn, he's cute. [TMZ]
• Is Jack Black's new movie plagiarized from a Nickelodeon skit? [Perez Hilton]
• Pauly Shore is countersuing his neighbor, movie director Wes Craven, for "slope failure," landslides etc. Backyard horror story, haha. [E!]
• Melanie "Scary Spice" Brown is joining the team of Access Hollywood as guest correspondent? That could be fun. [UPI]
• Meanwhile, Geri "Ginger Spice" Halliwell is going to Capitol Hill today as a goodwill ambassador for the United Nations Population Fund, a development agency that focuses on women's reproductive health. Colors of the world! [U.S. News & World Report]
• Victoria's Secret model Miranda Kerr on beau Orlando Bloom: "He's a sweetheart." [People]
• Vincent D'Onofrio has a new baby boy! Luca was born on Valentine's Day. [USA Today]
• The Directors Guild of America has approved a contract deal that helped pave the way for the settlement in the writers' strike. [Reuters]
• Sylvester Stallone is willing to testify in the trial of Anthony Pellicano, who's accuse of tapping the star's phone. [USA Today]
• Paula Abdul thinks her new video is so bad, she's "trying to pretend like it didn't happen." LOL! [MSNBC]
• Jessica Simpson's movie, Blonde Ambition, is No. 1 in Ukraine. First of all, Ukrainians, please don't think that she — or this film — represents all Americans. Secondly, why? Why? Third... going back to bed. [People]
• Wait! Is this Shia LaBeouf's amazingly buff body or a photo manipulation? Also: Bulge??? [ONTD]

• Fergie and actor Josh Duhamel are engaged. We hope Fergie didn't wet her pants when he proposed! [People]
  
• Good news for society, bad news for Paris Hilton: Paris' grandfather, Baron Hilton, has decided to give 97% of his $2.3 billion fortune to charity when he dies. [Reuters]
  
• Lindsay Lohan spent Christmas Eve with Adrian Grenier at his Brooklyn apartment, but they're definitely not a couple. [Page Six]
  
• Also, Lindsay's dad called paparazzi photographers to tip them off to his reunion meeting with Lindsay at the Mercer Hotel. Aw, sweet! [Gatecrasher]
  
• Also: Lindsay's ex, Riley Giles, is selling his personal photos of her to the tabs. Again: How sweet! [MSNBC]
  
• Pete Doherty gave Amy Winehouse's husband Blake Fielder-Civil some tips on how to make the best of his prison time. Fielder has also asked Doherty to look out for Winehouse. Oh lord: Not a one of them stands a chance! [The Sun]

• Will Smith: Scientologist? [Page Six]
• Move over, Fergie: I Love New York star Tiffany "New York" Pollard is also engaged: Her future intended is show winner George "Tailor Made" Weisberger... [People]
• ...who is apparently already cheating on her. [Gatecrasher]
• Courtney Love is moving to New York. She bought a townhouse in the West Village. She says on her MySpace blog, "itllcost ...alot...to returjn it to a house biut fbc doesnt need to have all that space til she moves here at 18." [Gothamist]
• But whatever will Courtney fill all that space with after having been robbed yesterday? [Perez Hilton]
• Ah, nevermind: The stolen goods have been returned. [Perez Hilton]
• Britney had to return the kids back to K-Fed after spending Christmas with them. The exchange of progeny took place at a Starbucks, naturally. [Daily Mail]
• Johnny Depp: Too emotionally scarred to ever marry again. [MSNBC]
• Top Chef host / former model/former Mrs. Salman Rushdie Padma Lakshmi dnies that she and "financier" Teddy Forstmann are dating. [Page Six]
• Drew Barrymore and her boyfriend Justin "Mac Guy" Long: Definitely together, united against parking tickets. [Page Six]
• Leonardo DiCaprio and Bar Rafaeli are definitely back together. [Gatecrasher]
• Also a couple: Gossip Girl co-stars Blake "Serena van der Woodsen" Lively and Penn "Dan Humphrey" Badgley. [MSNBC]
• Jennifer Aniston reportedly celebrated Christmas with real-life best Friend Courteney Cox Arquette. [Daily Mail]
• Melanie "Scary Spice" Brown has won the custody battle for her daughter against her ex-husband, Jimmy Gulzar. Which is good, 'cause it's so much more effective when the Spice Girls sing "Mama" in their reunion tour when their very own kids are front and center. [TMZ]

(Click on any picture to begin the gallery)

[The Spice Girls] whirled through all their greatest hits to wild audience enthusiasm, though this didn't spill over into a rapturous reception for their new song Headlines...and all pulled off solo numbers with aplomb. Except Posh, who was confined to strutting down a catwalk in aviator sunglasses to some Madonna...

[C]ould they still pull it off? Yes, they could...And, despite the debate, the Spice Girls didn't mime, from what I could tell sitting in the front row. The opening sequence of Spice up Your Life, Stop and Say You'll Be There was a bold reminder of the glory days...[T]hey performed with every ounce of strength in their legs and passion in their hearts. Mission accomplished it said on the screen as they left the stage. And accomplished it had been.

The Girls hugged each other throughout the concert, seemingly to prove they have patched up the differences that led Geri Halliwell (Ginger) to leave the band in the late 1990s...The band's former audience tended to be young girls before the band broke up. Teenage and even younger girls turned out en masse to the concert, dressed in shiny skin-tight dresses with high heels.

[T]wo young fans discussing the possibility of a Pussycat Dolls reunion in 10 years...speculat[ed] that it wouldn't probably have the same resonance as the Spice Girls reunion (okay, they didn't use the word "resonance")... Mel B. appeared to be in her prime... Victoria (Posh Spice) Beckham...looked awkward (if gorgeous) in her corseted outfits...Her dance moves were stiff and she appeared to be concentrating hard. She did not seem to be enjoying herself like the other Girls were....There have been persistent rumours about Posh's vocal contributions to the group - or lack thereof. They will not be put to rest after this show.

"Girl Power" has aged surprisingly well... A whip-carrying Mel B even jumped into the audience to pick out a male volunteer to be strapped into restraints and male dancers were put in diamond-trimmed dog collars to be walked on all fours by the Spice women. Try explaining that to your 5-year-old...Beckham appeared to be the most emotional Spice Girl on Sunday night choking back tears on at least two occasions...and often embracing her fellow Spices on stage.

It appears the Spice Girls haven't lost their kitschy cool pop idol appeal....And the girls didn't disappoint when it came to living up to their individual caricatures. They were all just as we remember them — if a little older.

• The judge in Britney Spears' custody case says "there is a habitual, frequent, and continuous use of controlled substances and alcohol by (Britney)." He's ordered Britney "to undergo testing for the use of controlled substances and alcohol." Testing will be conducted randomly twice a week. In addition, Britney and Kevin Federline must complete the "Parenting Without Conflict" program. [TMZ]
  
• Michael Jackson took his kids to see The Lion King and "they all had wigs and baseball caps on," says a source. Paris, Prince and Blanket were introduced to the cast and then MJ and the kids "ran out." [Page Six]
  
• Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban have put their four bedroom in Nashville up for sale, yawn. [Page Six]
  
• For their Best Of Beauty Awards party, Allure magazine replaced Lily Allen — who has visa issues — with Mandy Moore. Not exactly the same. [Page Six]
  
• Is Rose McGowan engaged to Robert Rodriguez? The two met on the set of Grindhouse and Rodriguez soon divorced his wife. Now Rose is wearing a rock. We're not saying he likes Rose because her name starts with R, but he did name his kids Rocket, Racer, Rebel, Rogue, and Rhiannon. [Page Six]

• Kanye West's new CD may be outselling 50 Cent's but Fiddy is number 2 on Forbes' Hip Hop Cash Kings list — he made $32 million last year. Yeah, we didn't know Forbes was so down either. [Page Six]
• Melanie "Scary Spice" Brown is accused of leaving her 2-month-old daughter with the maid for four days while she hit Las Vegas to get married. [Gatecrasher]
• A Toronto restauranteur is blasting singer Nelly Furtado's bad manners. "She made a reservation for 10 guests," Guy Rubino says. "She showed up an hour late, with five extra people in tow. For parties that size, we do a prix-fixe type of menu. Nelly objected." There's a "Maneater" joke in there somewhere. [Rush & Molloy]
• In Touch claims that Jennifer Lopez is expecting a baby, but Marc Anthony's rep says "No." [Rush & Molloy, 2nd item]
• Joel Madden on Nicole Richie: "Obviously, marriage is in our future. I don't know when or where or how, but right now our priority is our family and .. the baby." [Rush & Molloy, 3rd item]
• For a profile on James Blunt, Rolling Stone writer Austin Scaggs took Ecstasy with the singer. How awesome would it be if the article ended, "and then we made out" ? [Rush & Molloy, 5th item]
• Sean "Diddy" Combs says his fragrance, Unforgivable, will outsell other celeb scents because he "knows exactly what women should smell like." [Rush & Molloy, 10th item]
• Drew Barrymore and Justin "I'm a Mac" Long: went on a date to the Arcade Fire afterparty in Austin, TX. Sweet. [Rush & Molloy, 11th item]

• Britney Spears' assistant/cousin, Alli Sims, was served with papers by Kevin Federline's lawyer. Federline reportedly wants to force Alli to spill about Brit's lifestyle, including drinking in front of the kids. We have a feeling this is going to get ugly, y'all! [TMZ]
  
• Girls Gone Wild producer Joe Francis is in jail and Hugh Hefner won't help. Boo hoo. [Page Six]
  
• Is Chris Robinson thrilled that Kate Hudson is shacking up with Dax Shepard? An aside: Do Kate and Dax sort of look alike? [Page Six]
  
• Ashton Kutcher worked at Closet Factory for a day — and installed a tie rack. Demi, now's the time to ask for some cool shoe cubbies! [Gatecrasher]
  
• Lauren Conrad banned Perez Hilton from her party for The Hills. Perez fired back in the usual classy way, calling her a "two-faced (bleep)." [Gatecrasher, 3rd item]

• Eva Longoria and Tony Parker want trilingual kids. [People]
• Clive Owen says his wife is "an absolute diamond" and that he would never have an affair. Damnit!!! [People]
• Christina Applegate and Jonathan Schaech: Officially divorced. [Us Weekly]
• R.I.P. Merv Griffin [E!]
• Amy Winehouse will not be opening for the Rolling Stones tonight. It's probably for the best, don't you think? [Mirror]
• Madonna turns 50 next year and wants to celebrate in a small, intimate way — with a concert in Central Park. [The Sun]
• Melanie "Scary Spice" Brown's husband is wanted by authorities in New Jersey for killing a duck. [The Sun]

• Marc Anthony's wife, Jennifer Lopez, and ex-wife, Dayanara Torres, appear together on the cover of September's People En Español — thanks to the magic of Photoshop, natch — and Marc is not happy! [Page Six]
  
• Kanye West: "Only white people and older black people say 'bling' now." So what's the new term? Dizzimonds? Help us, Kanye! [Page Six]
  
• Tyra Banks' younger brother Devin, an Air Force cadet, leaves for Iraq next week. We were going to say something about America's Next Top Gun but it seems sorta inappropriate. [Page Six]
  
• Marilyn Manson's former keyboard player says the rocker used earnings to buy stuff like Nazi memorabilia instead of paying the band. In all fairness, a lot of the cash probably went towards makeup, too. [Page Six]

• Dina Lohan is being sued for fraud. Some guy claims he lent her $400,000 to jump-start Lindsay's music career. Uh, money well spent, dude! [Page Six]
• The Hills' Lauren Conrad and Heidi Montag refuse to be in the same room together, making it hard to promote the show. Or easier to promote? Everyone loves drama. [Page Six]
• Jake Gyllenhaal may play Joe Namath in a movie about the sports star's life. Jake, in a fur coat. Are you ready? [Liz Smith]
• Last week, Britney went to L.A.'s Chateau Marmont to eat, and the only table available was next to Victoria "Posh" Beckham. Britney "didn't want to sit next to her, so she stormed off." One town, so many egos! [Gatecrasher, 2nd item]
• Lez(abel) blind item! "Which Sapphic starlet employed her lover as an "assistant" to explain why they always went out together?" [Gatecrasher, last item]
• Bobby Brown has beefed-up security because he thinks bin Laden is after him. [Rush & Molloy]
• The Beatles' song "All You Need Is Love" was sold to Proctor & Gamble for a Luvs diaper commercial. Surely someone will suffer a horrible karmic blow for this. [Rush & Molloy, 3rd item]
• Andy Samberg thinks Justin Timberlake would be a great Saturday Night Live castmember, and we agree! [People]
• Melanie "Scary Spice" Brown is accusing Eddie Murphy of "not doing the right thing" regarding their daughter Angel. [People]
• Paris Hilton, size 11, is launching a shoe line. The footwear will be "chic and trendy." Perhaps they forgot to add "tacky," but isn't it a given? [TMZ]
• Posh is not sure the million-dollar mansion in Beverly Hills she had David Beckham bought is good enough — she wants to be in Malibu, on "Billionaire's Beach." [DailyMail]

• Rose McGowan shacked up with her Grindhouse director Robert Rodriguez during filming, thereby breaking up his marriage to movie producer Elizabeth Avellan. This might explain why Avellan's daughters arrived up at the film's premiere in a pair of McGowan-outlawed red dresses. [PageSix]
• Girls Gone Wild's Joe Francis gets a karmic beat-down. [Yeeeah]
• Beyonce and Tina Knowles: "Subconsciously racist"! [PageSix]
• Chris Rock may be the father of a child born out of wedlock. [Rush&Molloy, 2nd item]
• Speaking of bastard children: The Spice Girls' Melanie Brown has given birth to her baby. [Ananova]

• Lindsay Lohan, Hollywood's most famous human Hoover. [PerezHilton]
• What is it with skinny, famous women and DJ AM? [PerezHilton]