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Megan Fox Goes Both Ways

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MissyMcCLung
05/04/09

In reply to Megan Fox Goes Both Ways
This is why I need Jez, because I looked at those pictures and went "fuck, why don`t I look like her?" Ah - because even SHE doesn`t look like that... I get it now.
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lalaland13
05/04/09

In reply to Megan Fox Goes Both Ways
Is it wrong that I like the Esquire cover better? I'm sure both are Photoshopped, but at least on Esquire she doesn't look like a Megan Fox jigsaw puzzle that someone assembled incorrectly. I love how EW once described her as "so beautiful she looks genetically engineered," but come on Elle. Stop it.
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jigglyball
05/04/09

@lalaland13: She's not genetically engineered, she's surgically engineered. I'm not saying that to be catty, but EW's claim isn't that far off. If you look at pictures of her pre-plastic surgery, she looks like a different (but nonetheless very lovely) woman.
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Devonna
05/04/09

In reply to Megan Fox Goes Both Ways
I like her but not the photoshop job...

I actually have done the complicated undergarments under trenchcoat thing and it was a helluva lot of fun.
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jeepgirl
05/04/09

In reply to Megan Fox Goes Both Ways
Wow, I thought it was Angelina on the Esquire cover.

Or, I need glasses.
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Snowbunny
05/04/09

In reply to Megan Fox Goes Both Ways
Does her Elle waist have a little photoshop of horrors going on? Because it is a little scary in it's extreme proportions.
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Southpaw
05/04/09

@Snowbunny: Look at that ass/hip curvature, it doesn't seem to fit the waist at all D:
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Snowbunny
05/04/09

@Southpaw: It's Jessica Rabbit. Jessica Rabbit must have had extreme back pain all the time, but I don't know if she actually did with how much she swung her ass around.
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hfree
05/04/09

In reply to Megan Fox Goes Both Ways
I personally think she looks better on the Esquire cover, despite the outfit. She looks more natural (or as natural as Megan Fox is capable of looking).
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NaldoHecuba
05/04/09

In reply to Megan Fox Goes Both Ways
Er, speaking of Megan Fox having a ridiculously, unrealistically small waist, LOOK AT THIS, OMG WTF please tell me it's fake please please please?

[www.dailymail.co.uk]
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Nuckin Futz for you
05/04/09

@NaldoHecuba: I dont think its fake. I'm by no means skinny having a bulky athletic build and stick me in a corest and I look very tiny. Now take a very slender girl and stick her in one and voila, Megan Fox like waist.
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schlegs84
05/04/09

@NaldoHecuba: If they did it right, she should be fine. You know training her to go that small, making sure her abs could take it and only kept it on for a limited amount of time... oh who am I kidding? You know they just laced her in as tight as she could go and threw her on set.
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schlegs84
05/04/09

In reply to Megan Fox Goes Both Ways
Did anyone else actually watch the "movie" on Esquire?

Me: Hey Megan what did you do today?

Megan: Oh not much. I just woke up, writhed a little in my panties and bra and then smiled knowingly at the camera crew. Then I put on an over sized man's shirt.

Then I twirled by the pool in a gold swimsuit, writhed a little on a lawn chair and smiled knowingly at the camera crew.

I made some chicken and at it messily, cuz I'm real like that, writhed a little on a patio chair and smiled knowingly at the camera crew.

Then I got ready to go out did up my garters, writhed in front of the mirror and smiled knowingly at the crew.

Me: Solid.
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Zombies make the heart grow fonder
05/04/09

@schlegs84 thinks John Galt can suck it.: Haha yes, I just watched it and thought the same thing. I lost some respect for her watching it- not going to lie. I just look at stuff like this and think "really?"
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Snowbunny
05/04/09

@schlegs84 thinks John Galt can suck it.: My inner monologue during that video:

Ew, why would you sleep in an underwire?!

How did she keep her boobs in that underwire?

Get out of bed you lazy bitch!

...

Why are you drinking a beer early in the morning?

Do you use that pool other than kicking your feet in it? Can I come over and use your pool?

God, Megan, you are TERRIBLE at tanning, you're going to have all sorts of fucked up lines if you lay on your side.

Lay still you stupid bitch!

...

Why did you change your swimming suit to barbeque?

Why are you cooking meat at a coal grill in a long white dress?

Shut your mouth when you chew you stupid bitch!

...

That dress is too short if it's showing your garters. Didn't your mother teach you anything?

If you lick your lips after you put lipstick on you're going to wipe it off.

You. Stupid. Bitch.

I doubt that she actually exists in the stupid bitch universe but they really made her look like a moron.
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teaisdelicious
05/04/09

In reply to Megan Fox Goes Both Ways
OK, I just clicked on that video and cracked up. First she gets out of bed by stretching... her boobs. Because that is how Esquire thinks sexy kittens wake up. Then she makes sexy face by the pool... because that is the only reason any woman has a pool. I finally had to stop when they had her actually eating a hot dog or some other wiener shaped food with ferocious delight.
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Southpaw
05/04/09

@teaisdelicious: Egads, what's up with all the writhing? Does she have itchy fleabites or something?
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teaisdelicious
05/04/09

@Southpaw: Didn't you know? Sexy girls writhe all night thinking of peen shaped foods and long necked beer! If you're sleeping, having sex, reading, or doing anything else with yourself rather than a viewer/man in mind in your bed: NOT sexy.

@EvilVaginaTroll: 1-4: agreed!
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tscheese
05/04/09

@Southpaw: OH GOD NOW I'M ITCHY. Oh god. They're everywhere. I can't stop writhing. It's gone VIRAL. I hope you're happy, Fox Flu!

So...itchy...
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RaisonPassion
05/04/09

@EvilVaginaTroll: 1) I actually do most of the times, I actually have a sleeping bra that is more loose than my ususal bras. Otherwise, my boobs hurt in the morning and I hate that!
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EvilVaginaTroll
05/04/09

@RaisonPassion: Some of my friends actually claim that if you got big boobs you should sleep in a bra to keep them from hanging but I can not get myself to do it. I´d get all sore from the band around the body (or whatever you´d call that). I guess I just have free-range boobs :)
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inabook
05/04/09

@EvilVaginaTroll: i like those bra-tank-cami things from the express. Not a bra, but some support for a comfy night's sleep.
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tscheese
05/04/09

In reply to Megan Fox Goes Both Ways
Despite the missing back of the trenchcoat on the Esquire cover, her arms and legs actually look like they might naturally be part of her body.

Unlike the bolted-on, too-short left arm on the Elle cover. What IS that thing?
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brinkswomanship
05/04/09

@tscheese: Ha, I kept staring at that region between her legs, wondering what was 'off' about it. Of course! The back of the trenchcoat isn't there!
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stoprobbers
05/04/09

In reply to Megan Fox Goes Both Ways
And despite all that, she's still as interesting as a plank of wood.
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Old King Clancy (the former Referee Pitman)
05/04/09

@stoprobbers: But hey, she's got a freaking paragraph tattooed on her. I think if you translate it, it means, "Pay attention to me!"
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Eric Northman is mine
05/04/09

@Encouraging Referee Pitman: And yeah a tatoo of Marilyn Monroe for that matter. *Rolls eyes* Yeah she's so interesting and deep....not!
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Jack_Burton
05/04/09

@stoprobbers:

Did her dog die? She hardly smiles through that whole video.
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TakeADeepBreath
05/04/09

In reply to Megan Fox Goes Both Ways
Her waist on Elle cover!!! What did they do to it?
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tscheese
05/04/09

@TakeADeepBreath and EatSomeCake: It's like they blew up her bust and head and whittled away her arms and made the elbows bend in unusual places. I'm very concerned.
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AtomiClash: humanitarian misanthrope
05/04/09

@TakeADeepBreath and EatSomeCake: From what I can gather, they moved it north to supplement her already ample bosom.
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hfree
05/04/09

@TakeADeepBreath and EatSomeCake: She doesn't have much of a waist. There's a pic of her in EW this week that looks like she's had a rib removed.
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Dynamo
05/04/09

@hfree: still - they've clearly cut a chunk of her waste out of the picture. The part we can see below her hand and the part above her hand don't compute.
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Dynamo
05/04/09

@ThaiDi: oops, "waist", not "waste".
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Snowbunny
05/04/09

@ThaiDi: Wasting waist.
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LaMorena
05/04/09

@ThaiDi: I stared at that part for a good 2 minutes. Is there just a horizontal line under her hand? Does she have a mini hand-rest shelf at her hip? That could be really handy for holding drinks...
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sableized (just like starting over)
05/04/09

In reply to Megan Fox Goes Both Ways
Wait, who is this woman? I keep confusing her with Olivia Wilde from House.
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Fridge Hussy : Is finally heading back to uni!
05/04/09

@sableized (is pining for san fran): She's the female lead in the Transformers franchise. Which, for some reason, they feel the need to hype months in advance.
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Trulymadlyme
05/04/09

In reply to Megan Fox Goes Both Ways
I don't get her deal. Yes, she is pretty and she's done some work but damn. The kind of exposure that woman is getting seems disproportionate to the amount of work/acting she's actually done.
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AtomiClash: humanitarian misanthrope
05/04/09

@Trulymadlyme: The kind of exposure that woman is getting seems disproportionate to the amount of work/acting she's actually done.

not to mention disproportionate to the amount of quality work she's done. Which would be zero. (Don't get me wrong, I love Transformers, but it is what it is - brain candy.)
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roodles
05/04/09

@Trulymadlyme: for realz and why all of the Jezebel coverage of her? she's a low rent Angelina Jolie that's been in about one movie thus far.
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pandorasmittens
05/04/09

@Trulymadlyme: This usually is the way with pretty ladies.

Until claiming her status as Woody Allen muse, see Johannsen, Scarlett*.

*Also, see Alba, Jessica.**

**Also, see Biel, Jessica
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Dottie Gale
05/04/09

In reply to Megan Fox Goes Both Ways
This doesn't even look like the same person. And Elle Megan looks like a young version of Bethenny Frankel from Real Housewives of NYC.
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