• Lindsay Lohan turns 23 tomorrow, but she's allegedly already been paid $70,000 by the MGM Grand for hosting an all-day "pre-celebration" in Las Vegas last Saturday.

Even though LL changed bathing suits five times and promoted her Sevin Nyne tanning product, a source says: "None of her really close friends were there" and LL just did it for the cash. [Page Six]

• Meghan McCain thinks Hilary Duff would be a great choice to play her in a movie: "I think she's really hot - hotter than me - but I'd still want her to play me." [Gatecrasher]
• Even though Mariah Carey was supposedly dressed like Eminem for her "Obsessed" video, she looks more like that dude from Linkin Park, no? [Gatecrasher]
• Heidi Klum: Expecting a girl? There were pink cupcakes at her baby shower! [Gatecrasher]
• "A close Michael Jackson confidant tells The Daily Beast's Gerald Posner he believes the star triggered his death with a foolhardy plan to void a concert commitment: mixing pills to prompt a minor hospital visit." "Like a child who doesn't want to go to school, Michael thought he could get away from his obligations if he had a 'note from the doctor.'" [The Daily Beast]
• A registered nurse named Cherilyn Lee has stated that Michael Jackson was an insomniac who begged for strong sedative drugs to induce sleep. [AP, AP]
• TMZ says: "We're told the drug Propofol was discovered at the [Jackson] residence. The drug is used to put people under anesthesia before surgery. It is an extremely powerful drug that is only available to medical personnel. As one source said, 'There is no conceivable way this drug can be properly prescribed for home use.'" [TMZ]
• If Neverland becomes a memorial site, don't go looking for Michael Jackson's animals — they won't be coming back. [TMZ]
• The man who kept Neverland from being auctioned says: "We must be prepared for the fact that visitors and fans will come, with or without permission or an invitation." [Yahoo via E!]
• A concrete truck arrived at Neverland yesterday. Preparations for the memorial? [TMZ]
• "Ukrainians Want Village Named After Michael Jackson." [Breitbart]
• "There is nobody who knew Michael like I did… For instance, people always think of him as talking in that high, soft voice, but he didn't really speak like that - it was a facade. Still to this day I am not sure why he did it. The Michael I knew talked like a real man, acted like a real man and shook a hand like a real man." — David Gest, an authority on manliness. [The Sun]
• Here, Quincy Jones talks about the music he and Michael Jackson made together. [WSJ]
• In his last "interview," — which seems to be just chatter from the Staples center — Michael Jackson was rehearsing and said: "This is where I belong. I am so excited. We need a bit more work on a few more songs but we're so nearly there. This is what it's all about. Me being on stage." [Mirror]
• The Iowa State Fair is planning a butter sculpture of Michael Jackson. [MSNBC]
• Video. From Dolly Parton. Mourning Michael Jackson, whom she says had "the heart of an angel." [EW]
• "Joe Jackson Still Has Power To Upset Family" Duh. [MSNBC Scoop]
• Photographer Kevin Mazur took pictures of Michael Jackson's rehearsal at the Staples Center. He says: "Michael was physically fit and performing the same way that I photographed him through the years. You can look at the photos. I documented it, I was there." He says he was shocked to find out Jackson had died a few days later, because: "He was full of energy and full of life."[BBC News]
• More on this in Midweek Madness, but the Michael Jackson shot OK! is using on their cover this week is being called "ghoulish" and a "disgrace." [Page Six]
• Michael Jackson's will: Filed today. [TMZ]
• 200 friends, colleagues and family members — including jailed son Redmond O'Neal, Ryan O'Neal, Alana Stewart, Lee Majors, Ernie Hudson, Cheryl Tiegs, Jackie Collins, Joan Collins, Gary Shandling, Marla Maples and hairstylist Jose Eber attended the funeral of Farrah Fawcett. [E!, CNN]
• Alana Stewart delivered a eulogy for Farrah Fawcett, saying:
  "Goodbye sweet girl… [Farrah] never felt sorry for herself during her illness ... she fought cancer furiously. She's the most beautiful angel in heaven. She always seemed so indestructible." [People]
• Forbes has released it's "Hollywood's Top-Earning Actresses List" and Angelina Jolie is number one, with poor lonely desperate single Jennifer Aniston as number 2. Meryl Streep is third. But! There's a gender pay gap! "All told, the top 10 actors earned $393 million, compared with $183 million for the top 10 actresses." [Forbes]
• "Sacha Baron Cohen Attempts To Appease Gay Community By Posing For Attitude Magazine." Nude, of course. [Daily Mail]
• Life & Style magazine asked Robert Pattinson's aunt if he should date Kristen Stewart. She replied: "I don't think it would be a good idea for Robert to be in a serious relationship with Kristen. How can he live his life with a fellow star, with their every move being watched just like Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes?" Thank you. Very helpful. [Daily Express]
• Robert Pattinson was seen hanging out with a pack of guys and going un recognized by wearing a baseball cap. [Page Six]
• Susan Boyle will not appear on Ugly Betty, even though that's what we heard. [ONTD]
• The Beckhams have their 10-year wedding anniversary coming up! David will whisk Victoria away on a "surprise" trip to Richard Branson's private island in the Caribbean. Although is it a surprise if it's in The Sun? [WWD]
• From a Q&A with True Blood's Anna Paquin: You and Stephen [Moyer] are in a relationship off-camera as well. The passion you have on the show is palpable — did it transition from on-screen to off-screen or vise-versa?: "We met at his screen test when they were doing, essentially, a chemistry read to make sure the Sookie they had cast was going to click with the Bill they wanted to cast, and shockingly enough we ended up liking each other. But, it kind of all happened at the same time — it's kind of hard to say which came first because when you click with someone and you have that sort of – vibe — that's just how we've always been around each other. Nothing's really changed except we live together now." Was your first kiss then on-screen or off-screen?: "Ha. I'm not telling you that." [Out]
• Usher's wife was surprised by the divorce filing and "had every reason to believe her marriage was intact." Uh-oh. [USA Today]
• Uh-oh, this item snarks on Stacy London's outfit. Not cool. [Page Six]
• Kerry Washington is looking for a "cheap" furnished apartment in Manhattan, which means $3,000 a month. Can it be done? [Page Six]
• Cute! Christina Applegate will play Drew Barrymore's big sister in Going The Distance, a rom com about a long-distance relationship — which also stars Drew's maybe-boyfriend Justin Long. [E!]
• A street corner in Queens, NYC will be named for Run-DMC. Slay all suckers who perpetrate and lay down law from state to state. [NY Times]
• "I wish to not talk unless we're doing the scene. I enjoy it that way. Johnny seemed happy to do it that way, too. So the answer is: No, we really didn't get to know each other better between each take. So I guess I'll have to wait and get to know Johnny Depp someday." — Christian Bale, on Public Enemies. [Chicago Sun-Times]
• "I prefer to walk away with the experience as opposed to walking away with the product… I like to portray a character, inhabit a character and build character, but I don't want to watch the end result necessarily, because it becomes about money then and I'd rather not think about that. My children have seen more films of mine than I have. They've seen all of them within reason - many more than I have. I have no plans to see them - any of them." — Johnny Depp. [BBC News]
• "It is deff. in my top 3 favorite books of all time! :) so disturbing but beautifully written." — Miley Cyrus, on Identical, in which twin sisters escape troubled lives — one by sex and drugs, the other by bingeing and cutting herself. [Page Six]
• "The script kept changing and evolving to the point where I was no longer appropriate for it. Cate's 10 years older than me, which is more suitable for the script. If they'd recast with Keira Knightley I'd have been heartbroken but they've gone for something different – and better in my opinion. If I had the choice between Cate Blanchett and me I'd go for Cate Blanchett." — Sienna Miller, on not being Maid Marian in Robin Hood. [Daily Express]

[Image via Lindsay Lohan's Twitter]

MEGAN: Oh, hey, so, apparently we all agree that Obama hasn't screwed anything up yet on his trip. And I think Obama knows where to recruit door-knockers for Florida, if only because I think the sight of a bunch of Palestinians knocking on doors saying "Ma'am, believe me, we know, Barack Obama isn't going to change the United States' policies on Israel one iota."
MOE: I DRANK SO MUCH LAST NIGHT actually I didn't I just drank enough. Surprising fact: I did not drink on Saturday or Sunday night at all. Not one drop! When that happens it throws my system out of whack you know.
MEGAN: I know, it's like, the sun is less bright on those days. I started buying beer, actually, because it was so hot and to get into shape for Germany but I can't consume enough of it all in one sitting to get drunk, it's a little sad still.
MOE: Oh look David Brooks is talking about debtor nation again huh cool.
MEGAN: In honor of your hangover, I recommend reading this analysis of how, by not publishing McCain's OpEd on Obama and the surge, the New York Times MOE: Holy itshay is that you Bobo??

This third position begins with the notion that people are driven by the desire to earn the respect of their fellows. Individuals don’t build their lives from scratch. They absorb the patterns and norms of the world around them.

Yeah regarding McCain, he wouldn't have looked like an idiot I don't think because who reads op-eds "written" by really important people? (Exception that proves the rule being Angelina of course.)
MEGAN: Dammit, I hate agreeing with Brooks! I mean, he does it without resorting to Marxism which is where you or I would go with it, but the idea that we're eroded a social norm by scaling down luxury goods, accept indebtedness as a way of life and normifying conspicuous consumption, man, dammit, I hate that. It's like, even my friends in Germany were surprised that as an American the only debts I have are student loans and my mortgage.
Like, even they all know we're a fucked up country when it comes to debt, even if they only know if because they're importing our debt culture like the rest of the bits of the worst of American culture we export elsewhere.
Oh, wait, phew, all is right in the world as Brooks descends into madness again.

The Treasury and the Fed are trying to stabilize the system while still ensuring that those who made mistakes feel the pain.

LOLZ, the government is trying to make sure people who made mistakes feel the pain. Sure, unless you're Bear Stearns or Freddie Mac or Fannie Mae, sure unless you're the trader that committed the frauds that undermined the stability of IndyMac and cost a bunch of old people their (uninsured) retirement savings and shit. "Feel the pain." The people that caused most of the problems won't feel any pain.
MEGAN: Anyway, so, the GOP has decided to stop suing people for using their logo which is like unAmerican to stop suing people and yet it's anti-trial lawyer and sort of pro-tort reform so perhaps more fitting with Republican ideology.
MOE: And I still don't know what to talk about, I guess there was that meme about how Colin Powell and Condi Rice may endorse Obama because of that whole identity politics factor but Condi identifies more with fellow alienbots so I'm thinking no on that one.
MEGAN: Yeah, I mean, what exactly is fitting with her political ideology that Obama espouses?
MOE: Well I think her exercise regimen is a big component of her ideology, and she totes has a crush on Michelle. But is that enough? Well shit, maybe for Condi!
MEGAN: Ok, can we talk about the fact that Cindy McCain travels with a stylist? I knew her and Megan's hair was too shiny to be true.
MOE: Oh I guess we have to talk about Obama's "fake" interviews. I mean, it would be one thing if someone said this who did not work for the memefactory, but I see what she's saying. That's the one thing I always dug about McCain is his "I'm just going to babble about whatever pops into my mind" PR strategy.
And Meghan HAS to have extensions right?
MEGAN: I don't know, I mean, I have seen her up close, if they are extensions, Ken Paves is grinding his teeth down to little points in envy.
MOE: Whoa I did not realize Cindy

fought her fear of campaigning via small planes by getting her pilot's license without telling her husband

Oh this is a good story, I love Libby Copeland.
MEGAN: I mean, you want to hate her, and then it's just hard. She's so nice-seeming.
The charity work, etc. Also, wtf, Andrea Mitchell? I'm not sure I get that, is she just mad she flew all the way over their and Obama chose Lara Logan or something?
MOE: (The writer.) (Who I was like totally jealous of for like ninety years because she went to school with me and NEVER WORKED A MILLISECOND ON THE SCHOOL PAPER WHERE I TOILED.) I did not think she was so good when she started at the Washington Post but now I love pretty much everything she does and I have to say, it is nice to suspect you would dislike someone and then turn out to be wrong. Okay, so Cindy McCain, she seems cool, I have to say. Not as cool as Michelle, but the thing about having disadvantages or whatever is that it is sometimes its own advantage, and Cindy grew up rich and blond and cheerleadery in Arizona. I wonder if she ever even saw Do The Right Thing. Nevertheless, she was just in Cambodia.
MEGAN: And for Operation Smile, which we all know I have a very soft spot for, even if the founder seemed totally amazed that I didn't have a speech impediment when we met once.
MOE:

"You just can't just help but love her, honey," says John's mother, the irrepressible 96-year-old Roberta McCain, who several times during an interview says she has nothing to say and then keeps adding things. She describes Cindy as a seamless mother who has managed her four children's lives with seeming effortlessness, all while looking fantastic and wearing the most stylish clothes. "I don't see any chink in her armor, and I'm not biased," she says.

MEGAN: Yes, as a mother-in-law, you certainly wouldn't be biased at all Roberta. Now, see, this is a serious question. I can't say from his first wife, as she's not so keen to do interviews, but between his mother, her, and Cindy, how in the world does McCain still not know better than to tell anti-woman jokes? Because, really, he's kind of surrounded by cool-seeming chicks. I want to totally be Roberta McCain when I'm 92, if I don't off myself at 60 of course.
MOE: hahaha

She is, in the words of her brother-in-law Joe McCain, a self-editor. Aware she is under a spotlight, she recognizes that everything she says must be carefully framed, or it can be taken out of context. "The best way to put it in context is to not say it," he says.

I am getting that tattooed on my knuckles.
MEGAN: Fuck my knuckles, I might be wearing gloves! I'm getting that tattooed upside down on my cleavage, the one thing that is always visible.
MOE: omg let's get tattoos together!
MEGAN: Yes, totally, I have been itching for one for years, I'd bet Attackerman knows a place, you know, somehow.
MOE: Yo this is really rough:

"John was with me the first time I lost a baby," she told Harper's Bazaar last year, "but not for those after, which was hard."

MEGAN: Yeah, I read that then and I felt awful for her. I mean, dude, as obviously as she wanted kids and as young as she apparently was, you have to wonder how they got through that. It wasn't like in the 50s or something, you know?
Also, can we all say a heart "Fuck you" to Karl Rove for this again?

She did, however, cry in front of reporters after smear attacks during the 2000 South Carolina primary insinuated that McCain had fathered an illegitimate black child — a reference to Bridget, born in Bangladesh.

All together, please: Fuck you, Karl Rove.
MOE: Here's another thing, like, she didn't feel like she was addicted because he didn't notice. Oh my, you know, like that is a lesson: do not rely on dudes to notice you have a problem, or really, anything at all about your condition unless they somehow interpret it to involve you being "mad" at them. I bet she was actually weirdly flattered that one time he called her a trollop for wearing too much makeup because it was like, you noticed?
MEGAN: Oh, God, I hear that for sure. Like, actually, a friend of a friend divorced his wife (eventually) for being a coke addict and he only noticed when he couldn't get money out of an ATM one day and went to the bank to complain and found out they didn't have any more. Like, any. That's an addiction.
Also, I stopped trying long ago with dudes. If I want them to notice, I'll say "Hey, I got my haircut, do you like it," or, "Hey, I dyed it red, what do you think," or, "Hey, I lost 30 pounds, what do you think of my ass now," you know, shit like that.
MOE: Hahaha I feel like dudes are pretty good at noticing that shit. "You look different…good" Hey thanks I washed my hair! I found that purple eyeshadow that vaguely recalls Debbie Gibson circa Electric Youth but oh well! I brushed my hair! I'm wearing a color other than black or gray! It's more like the, I dunno, subtler stuff they are shitty about. That's actually why I don't think it's such a bad thing to write about them on the internet.
MEGAN: Maybe I just date really oblivious dudes. But, also, my emotions aren't really subtle. And I try not to blog about actual dudes I'm currently dating. Dudes I used to date — particularly if they've pissed me off and aren't speaking to me anyway — somehow feel like fair game. Oh, also, before we end this, we should probably mention the fact that Radovan Karadžić was arrested yesterday.
MOE: oh right he totally was!
MEGAN: Amusingly, to tie it back into drinking, reportedly while drinking a beer on the street! Man, who knew Belgrade was so much like Boston?
MOE: This is a really educational blog post that puts things nicely in perspective! So this guy's poetry: crappy or what? Hmm.

In his defense, his supporters say that he is no more guilty than any other war-time political leader. His ability to evade capture for over a decade made him a local hero among the Bosnian Serbs.

So maybe now that he has been arrested while drinking a beer he will look less badass?
MEGAN: Hrm, well, being a bit of a translator myself, I sort of wonder if the reason these sound so incredibly shitty is translation error, but thematically I think they're also overblown and so I'm going to call crappy.
Also, I think Richard Byrne is suggesting that Ratko Mladić, the guy behind Srebrenica, might off himself rather than turn himself or be captured. And, to your point, that's totally what Byrne says, that not only will Karadžić look like a f'idiot, but that the former government that "couldn't find him" might look stupid to the people on whose support they counted. God, if only making an Administration look like a bunch of bumbling incompetent idiots would work here. God, we could dream, right?

MOE: you there?
MEGAN: I am! I'm sitting in a cafe in Saarbrücken, drinking my 4th dose of caffeine for the day and watching it sprinkle outside.
MOE: How pleasant! I am in my bed with a raspberry Kombucha, and I have yet to make the caffeine so as with so many days I am somewhat cranky, particularly regarding the kneejerk hostility of my countrymen, which is to say what the fuck, "Obama aide"? God people need to simmer down. Beyond that I was talking about the Jesse Jackson thing last night and decided that like everything it was just really funny.
MEGAN: I forgot to tell you, I saw Snuffleupagus get into a cab at M and Connecticut the other week! Also, because I missed Crappy Hour yesterday because my flight was super delayed, I also forgot to mention that Madeline Albright was on my flight but I never managed to get back up to business class to fan girl out in her direction after she caught me staring and grinning like an idiot when I got on the plane. Also, how nerdy is it that I fan girl out about Madeline Albright? Anyway, I'm not sure I quite understand the Jesse Jackson thing, but that might be because I spent the time I should've been reading about it toasting my friends' marriage on an empty stomach and thereafter read about it.
MEGAN: But my nerd-crush Chuck Todd says that the map is shifting to Obama anyway so maybe Jesse Jackson can shove off? I forget, did he knock his mistress up or just get caught having one?
MOE: You know, anyone who gets caught whispering about how he's going to cut off the nuts of a guy who is not only in all likelihood the next leader of the free world but a
MOE: close family friend — while miked — at Fox News!…at FOX NEWS…definitely says shit a lot worse than that on a very regular basis, as my friend Brian was pointing out last night. He sort of wanted to engage in a hypothetical Jesse Jackson empty threat contest. I think he started with a reference to skullfucking.
MEGAN: How about eyeball licking when you've got cold sores? Eye herpes=painful and blinding. Plus just the thought of it gives me the chills.
MEGAN: Also, can I say, it sort of freaks me out in Germany that people are, like, totally willing to get caught looking at you. People watching is more of an art form in America in which the goal is not to get caught. Here, they don't care and it is very disconcerting. I don't say that because a group of 15 men just walked by and all stopped talking to look at me as they walked by or anything and I'm not even speaking English or anything.
MOE: Dude WHERE IS MY NOONAN. NO NOONAN TODAY. And where the fuck has Brooks been? You mean to tell me these once a week columnists get vacations? Anyway, so what is all this bullshit with Obama and abortion? I have a block against reading about abortion because reading abortion stories doesn't tell you anything new about anything I guess. And re the Prussians, I kind of like that. I look at people unabashedly all the time. If I have left my house, you are fair game is how I see it.
MEGAN: I know, I just keep, like, checking to see if my bra is showing or something.
MEGAN: Oh, that's the late term abortion thingie.
MEGAN: Basically, he's all like, no "late term" abortions for mental distress, but then there's been no real explanation for him about the definition of "late term," which could be anything from one week into the second trimester to the 8 month mark, AS THOUGH women look down and 8 months and go, ohhh, shit, yeah, this was a bad idea.
MEGAN: Anyway, so peeps are all pissed off and I think rightly so because, for me, it's all within the context of other stuff he's seemingly moving to the middle on which is why I wrote this.
MOE: I guess I should also go through some other shit I ignored this week, such as the party of Lincoln bloggers are angry Obama said Americans should learn other languages, but I think he is maybe just being "pro growth" since some language skills might do something to staunch the rapid falloff in the value of a US life. And to that end maybe Phil Gramm's tough love approach to fending off recession could be exported to other places with economic woes like I dunno Egypt?
MEGAN: Ok, shit, my battery's about to die and I don't see a plug and don't remember the word, so if I disappear, I'll see you shortly but maybe not shortly enough to continue with this...

MEGAN: Sorry, in the meantime, a woman sat directly in front of me, lit up a cigarette and, to avoid blowing the smoke in her companions face, blew it in mine.
MOE: Hey, you know who's not on vacation for which we can be thankful? E. J. Dionne.

The biggest political story of 2008 is getting little coverage. It involves the collapse of assumptions that have dominated our economic debate for three decades.
Since the Reagan years, free-market cliches have passed for sophisticated economic analysis. But in the current crisis, these ideas are falling, one by one, as even conservatives recognize that capitalism is ailing.
You know the talking points: Regulation is the problem and deregulation is the solution. The distribution of income and wealth doesn't matter. Providing incentives for the investors of capital to "grow the pie" is the only policy that counts. Free trade produces well-distributed economic growth, and any dissent from this orthodoxy is "protectionism."

MEGAN: Anyway, Norquist's point is that a bunch of sole proprietorships file under the personal income tax code and thus will see their taxes go up under Obama's plan, but doesn't account for how many people are filing taxes under the personal code instead of the corporate code and thus would switch if the corporate rate was lower, which Obama has proposed lowering.
MEGAN: Wow, Dionne finds conservatives willing to say that boards voting crazy compensation packages for the people who appoint them and pay them might be a market failure?
MOE: It's funny, I had this drink with my old agent yesterday and I went off on this, I'm not quite sure why, and I said something about how the nation's policy makers could have pursued globalization differently and he looked at me like I was — well maybe like he was mulling whether I as stupid as I was inarticulate — and said something like "we don't control globalization" as if globalization was like gravity, which just…uh, may be a common misnomer.
MEGAN: Well, we don't control globalization, but we can control how we implement policies that can effect globalization or the effects of globalization and the only people that don't really seem to understand that are... people whose interests are best served by unfettered globalization.
MOE: Well this is a discussion for another time, but we have now but more importantly, over the past 30 years we, America, the world's largest market by a very long shot and in recent years by a psychotically long shot, have had an inordinate amount of power over how the thing works, and to the extent that our diplomatic interests are our commercial ones, you know.
MEGAN: Our diplomatic interests aren't always our commercial ones? I guess that does explain the depths of our committed engagement in Darfur, Zimbabwe, Burma and Cuba.