Uh, Angelina Jolie Skipped Her Aunt's Funeral For Brad Pitt's Premiere

For the first time since revealing her preventative double mastectomy to The New York Times, Angelina Jolie hit the red carpet with Maddox, Pax, and her really obscure commonlaw partner Brad Pitt at the premiere of his film World War Z, which I keep confusing with Z For Zachariah because because. She told the press:… » 6/03/13 9:00am 6/03/13 9:00am

Chris Brown Totaled His Car En Route to Charity Appearance With Little…

Yesterday afternoon Chris Brown wrecked his Porsche after being chased down by the rabid paparazzi on the way to a charity event, according to the Beverly Hills Police Department. Brown's PR rep (#2 most thankless job after "professional human shit shoveler") explained how it happened: » 2/10/13 11:30am 2/10/13 11:30am

Frank Ocean and Chris Brown Engage in Idiotic Brawl Over Parking Space

I wish we could all get along like we used to in middle school. I wish I could bake a cake filled with rainbows and smiles and everyone would eat and be happy. Instead, Chris Brown, Frank Ocean and six posse members threw down in the parking lot of a recording studio in West Hollywood last night. » 1/28/13 9:00am 1/28/13 9:00am

Pippa Middleton Trades Writing for Belgian Boar Hunting

Shockingly, nobody is looking for any more crack party planning advice from Pippa Middleton since her book Celebrate made a fart noise that echoed throughout the publishing industry (although tips like "Make ice!!!" are extremely helpful), her following two book offers—one on wedding planning and another on… » 1/22/13 9:00am 1/22/13 9:00am

American Royalty Blue Ivy Got a Diamond Barbie For Her First Birthday

If you're Blue Ivy Carter, here is what you got as a reward for your first year on the planet, aside from the event itself, a lavish princess-themed soiree thrown on January 7th by Beyoncé and Jay-Z: a diamond-encrusted Barbie with white gold jewelry ($80,000), pink and white roses ($95,000) and a cake (over $2,000).… » 1/14/13 9:00am 1/14/13 9:00am

Lindsay Lohan Flies All the Way to Merry England Just to Crush on Max…

Take careful note — Taylor Swift and her expressionless porcelain face are not the only showbiz duo that can date a member of a British boy band. Lindsay Lohan, who some of you younger readers may know only as that actress who was in that Lifetime movie about another actress, has draped herself in a fur coat and flown… » 12/30/12 11:30am 12/30/12 11:30am

Kim Kardashian's Kitten, Mercy, Has Died

Oh my fuck, this is the saddest thing, not to mention positively Dourtney-esque: Kim Kardashian's four-month-old teacup Persian, Mercy has died. After discovering she was allergic to cats, Kardashian had passed Mercy on to Khloé Kardashian Odom's assistant, Sydney Hitchcock, whose 12-year-old cat had just died. All… » 12/08/12 11:30am 12/08/12 11:30am

Kate Middleton Still Royally Puking in the Hospital

K8 Middleton, rather delightfully referred to in this New York Daily News article as a "queasy royal," is feeling a little better after getting fluids but remains in London's King Edward VII hospital due to severe Wingardium Leviosa!! hyperemesis gravidarum. A palace spokesman wants everyone concerned for Kate to know… » 12/05/12 9:00am 12/05/12 9:00am

Kate Middleton's Uterus Is Making Camilla Parker Bowles an Alcoholic

Some ludicrous story in the Globe says that the bright, sparkling English promise that is Kate Middleton's possibly-occupied womb has sent Camilla Parker Bowles straight to the bottle; she was reportedly sent to dry up in a 7-day detox retreat in Bangalore, India. Camilla and Prince Charles (the latter who has… » 11/30/12 9:00am 11/30/12 9:00am