• His Diddiness continues, "I'm definitely trying to get in on that in the next two years, for real," he says. [E! Online]
• Kate Winslet says that she liked reading the Feminine Mystique in preparation for her Revolutionary Road role as a miserable 50s housefrau. She calls Betty Friedan a "feisty chick" and then says she supposes that she's a feminist, "In a loose, unofficial kind of way, I think I probably am. I mean, not in a bra-burning way. But I think I am a feminist, yeah." [Guardian]
• Balthazar Getty's foul moods have been alienating his Brothers and Sisters castmates. Getty allegedly started getting surly when his extramarital relationship with Sienna Miller started over the summer, in part because Miller used to date costar Matthew Rhys, but also because some of the cast sided with Getty's estranged wife, Rosetta, the mother of his four children. "They often have to move shooting schedules around to accommodate [him]," a source says. [AP via Yahoo News]
• So it begins: 24-year-old Scarlett Johansson is already fielding questions about the status of her uterus. "I love to work and I'm enjoying myself right now. Someday in the distant future I'm sure I'll want to [have kids]. But I'm not ready for that yet." Scar Jo says. [People]
• Guy Ritchie reportedly banned Madonna from the former couples' mansion in the English countryside for the holidays. “He couldn't bear the thought of her padding round the kitchen next morning like old times — there are too many sad memories," a source says. Aw. [The Sun]
• Jeremy Piven's "mercury poisoning" from excessive sushi intake keeps sounding fishier (heh). Apparently at first he told producers he had mono, then he claimed low-level Epstein-Barr, before finally settling on the mercury story, which has been supported by a doctor with a history of fibbing for celebrities. [TMZ]
• Since Michael Phelps is the closest thing to a real, live superhero we have, it's no surprise that they're making a video game based on his persona. "Swimming will play a role, but it won't be the main event," says Newser, but the manufacturer won't say anything more. What else might Michael be doing? [Newser]
• Click here to see the trailer for Beyonce's new movie, Obsessed, a thriller co-starring Idris Elba and Ali Larter. B plays Elba's wife, and Larter is his stalker. [Just Jared]
• Rut Roh! One of David Copperfield's assistant had his arm broken during a recent performance of a trick called the "fan illusion," in which the unidentified employee was supposed to appear as if walking through a fan, before disappearing in a cloud of smoke. Copperfield's producer Chris Kenner called it "a freak accident," and added "People are always saying that it's magic and it isn't dangerous. This goes to show you that it is." At least it's better than being a Siegfried and Roy assistant. [People]
• People were worried about Paula Abdul leaving American Idol, but apparently they have to worry about Simon Cowell ditching them now, too. “I'll make a decision about (whether to stay with the show) next year," Cowell says, not because of any fracas with Abdul, but because of his workload as a music and TV producer. [MSNBC]
• U2 fans take note! The superstars will release a new album in March called No Line On The Horizon. [Reuters]
• Is Oprah moving to DC in order to be close to the Obamas? Insiders say that Winfrey was looking at a $50 million, 9 bedroom house in the Washington area. Her rep didn't return calls. [Page Six]
• Leonardo DiCaprio and Nicky Hilton ex Kevin Connolly went over to Paris's house to hang the other night. Are we really still talking about her? [Page Six]
• Page Six is implying that Tom Cruise has oral herpes, as they gleefully point out that both Nicole Kidman and Katie Holmes have been photographed with sores on their lips. [Page Six]
• Several stars, including the sore laden Holmes, were interviewed for a new book called The Black Book of Hollywood Pregnancy Secrets. Holmes talks about loving Home Depot, while Kate Hudson says that she finds dating difficult because she's a mom. Plucky Helena Bonham Carter rages against men who criticized her for drinking coffee whilst preggo: "Yeah. You try nine months of gestation and self-abnegation before you start censoring my diet. Your mother was probably on vodka, and do you have three heads?” Finally, Tina Fey says, “I don’t care how many [magazine] covers you’re on. When you’re chasing a 3-year-old around with a pull-up [diaper] hoping she won’t poop on the floor, you’re just like every other mom on the planet.” [NYDN]

• Lindsay Lohan has turned down a $700,000 offer to pose topless in Playboy. Since we already saw her nipples in New York magazine, what would be the point? [Page Six]
• Meanwhile, there's a truce in the Lohan fam: Michael is actually saying nice things about Dina! And mom, dad and all the kids will allegedly all be together for the final service for Lindsay's grandfather, who died last week. They'll scatter his ashes in a Long Island harbor. [E!]
• You know how Sarah Palin was on the cover of Us? Apparently the magazine "lost thousands of subscribers in the first 24 hours" following the printing of the issue. [MSNBC]

• Lily Allen's suffering from a major hangover and some regret after drunkly swearing on stage at the GQ Awards. Her Facebook status is "dying inside" and she wrote that she "feels like killing" herself, although that part has since been removed. Free champagne is a blessing and a curse. [Daily Mail]
• Leighton Meester and Blake Lively of Gossip Girl: Guest stars on 30 Rock this fall. Apparently Liz Lemon was a mean girl in high school! [EW]
• Heidi Montag: "I'm waiting for my Barbie Doll. That's what I want next." Spencer Pratt: "We just talked to Mattel yesterday, and we are already working on our own Ken and Barbie." That sound you hear: Thunderous hooves, as the Apocalyptic horsemen approach. [Socialite Life]
• Romeo Beckham is The Dark Knight. [The Sun]
• Balthazar Getty and Matthew Rhys, who play brothers on Brothers & Sisters are not speaking to each other, and it's Sienna Miller's fault. Naturally. [E!]
• Hayden Panettiere, 19, is moving into her own house in West Hollywood. But! Her beau, Milo Ventimiglia, is upset because he thought they were moving in together. Turns out she's wary of Milo, who keeps talking about marriage. A source says: "She's not even old enough to have a drink, so she's not even thinking about settling down." [Star]
• Whoa, there's a feud between Alec Baldwin and Greg Garcia, the exec producer of My Name Is Earl. Alec can't understand why they'd do a one-hour episode of Earl: You've got to be fucking kidding me," he says. Garcia says Alec sounds like a "psychotic narcissist." [Page Six, Defamer]
• This story about Jennifer Aniston is titled: "Did Brangelina Spoil Jennifer For Other Men?" Here is an actual line from the article: "When it comes to men, Jen’s radar seems hopelessly broken, leaving her prey to the serial-shagger charms of men such as [Paul] Sculfor, who is now cosily loved up with Cameron Diaz, and [John] Mayer, who has been involved with a string of other celebs including Jessica Simpson and Jennifer Love Hewitt." [The Sun]
• Amy Winehouse ordered 48 bottles of Jack Daniel's. For a weekend gig. [The Sun]
• Kim Kardashian is helping sister Khloe with Celebrity Apprentice. First assignment: Lunch with Omarosa. Uh-oh! [Page Six]
• Tension in New Kids On The Block? Seems like Donnie won't hang out with the other kids or play their reindeer games. [Page Six]
• Richard Branson says, "The best way to reduce your carbon footprint is not to fly at all. But that's not realistic. You can't walk to England." He has a solution, of course: "Fly Virgin. One hundred percent of all profits from all our airlines are reinvested into finding a cleaner fuel solution. We had an experimental 747 that ran on coconut oil… but it took 150,000 coconuts for one flight. So now we're looking at developing fuel from algae. If you fly Virgin, you'll support this cause." [Rush & Molloy]
• Rachel Weisz was voted Hollywood's hottest babe — in a poll of 4,000 lesbians. [The Sun]
• Actor Joe Pantoliano, aka Ralph Cifaretto on the Sopranos, was at the RNC lobbying for his charity, No Kidding, which deals with brain disease. Joey Pants sufferers from clinical depression. [Page Six]
• The court case between Matt LeBlanc and his former business manager has been settled. You can click to see the court papers or think a happy thought about butterflies, and I suggest the latter, because the papers are a yawn. [ET]
• One year after vowing never to perform on the MTV Awards again, Kanye West will close the show's 25th annual ceremony in Hollywood on Sunday. [Reuters]
• Christina Aguilera will also perform at the VMAs. [Daily Star]
• Don't hold your breath for U2's new album: It's been pushed to 2009. Bono says the band has 50 or 60 new songs to consider for inclusion. Decision time. [Reuters]
• The dude who robbed Kiki Dunst's hotel room last August is getting four years in jail. Maybe that's why his MySpace has Jewish prayer music on it? [Gothamist]
• Ciara: Naked on the cover of Vibe magazine. [Concrete Loop]
• Akon performed in South Africa last week and when one of his female fans embraced him, he violently elbowed her off the stage. [Molly Good]
• Anthony Edwards will appear on the final season of ER, but Dr. Mark Greene is not back from the dead: He'll be in flashback scenes. [AP]
• Are you the Gatekeeper? Columbia Pictures is working on a new installment of Ghostbusters. [LA Times]
• An L.A. businessman is suing Gene Simmons over an Indy Racing League deal. [E!]
• "It's going to stop one day. It's not that you fall. It's just one day there are new people, and, you know, the opportunities aren't what they once were. It happens to everybody, man. I prepare for the worst. I think every show I do, I realize I could get booed off the stage and they could throw tomatoes. Hey — Michael Jackson, man. One day you're Vanilla Ice and the next day you're…Vanilla Ice." — Chris Rock on his career. [Page Six]
• "I live in Costa Rica, way off the grid. We live off solar power, with no car, and no telephone. I'm nothing like my character. I'm more into the environment." — Perrey Reeves, aka Entourage's Mrs. Ari Gold. [Rush & Molloy]
• "I didn't really have any expectations. They say it gives you a little more juice for the first year and that's it. It certainly didn't help me get this movie made." — Helen Hunt, on life after winning an Oscar, and her directorial debut, Then She Found Me, in which Salman Rushie has a part as an obstetrician. [Guardian]
• "The corsets were very restrictive. The worst part was after lunch because they don’t help your digestion." — Keira Knightley on burping her way through The Duchess. [The Sun]
• "I don't always love kids. Sometimes I absolutely loathe them. Children are just people who haven't lived very long yet. I'm predisposed to be affectionate if someone’s smaller but if they're loathsome in the first five minutes, they're loathsome.” — Colin Firth. [Daily Express]
• "I had sex if I had the energy. I wasn't one of those guys who believed in the myths about the guy losing his chi. The fact is that if you are riding your bike six, seven hours a day, you are not a sex champion. You're just not. You have fatigue, low testosterone and a lower libido. But you know, I never got any complaints." — Lance Armstrong to Men's Journal. [Page Six]

What? That's not how you and your co-workers kill time in the break room?

[West Wales, UK; May 10. Image via Splash]