• Good Morning, you have new president. His name is Barack Obama. No, he cannot start today. But soon. And he says: "If there is anyone out there who still doubts that America is a place where all things are possible; who still wonders if the dream of our founders is alive in our time; who still questions the power of our democracy… tonight is your answer." [People]
• Oprah on Barack Obama's win: "It's one of the greatest moments I could ever even imagine. That's how great it is." [ET]
• Courteney Cox and David Arquette hosted a Barack Obama victory party at their house in Beverly Hills. Jennifer Aniston, Sacha Baron Cohen and Isla Fisher were in attendance; champagne was had. Meanwhile, in Chicago, Brad Pitt and Oprah Winfrey watched Obama's speech live. Also psyched: George Clooney and Usher. [E!]
• George Clooney: "I congratulate President-elect Obama on his historic victory, and now it's time to begin unifying the country so we can take on the extraordinary challenges that this generation faces." [ET]
• Oprah again: "This is democracy at its finest." [ET]
• In other news, Jennifer Aniston is pregnant with twins. Supposedly. More in Midweek Madness. [Star]

• Britney Spears is on the cover of Australian Cosmopolitan, and they used a photograph tat is five years old. She looks good, though. [TMZ]
• Nikki Blonsky will guest star on Ugly Betty as an assistant from a rival magazine. Will there be an airport-style kerfluffle? [E!]
• Perez Hilton got served! With legal papers: Liz Silver, who runs the Web site PerezRevenge.com, is accusing him of plagiarism and copyright infringement. She had a friend crash his Halloween party and hand him papers. [Page Six]
• Blind items! 1. "Which aggressive TV, stage and movie actor has a shady past? Rumor is he sexually assaulted a girl while in high school and his family had the situation 'swept under the rug.' 2. "Which screen god isn't as happy as he and his paramour would like the world to think? Whenever the couple and their children are in LA, he 'goes to a bar in a Beverly Hills hotel and drinks for hours before going home." 3. "Which oft-photographed socialite/designer is losing her grip on the fashion world? Luxury brands no longer send her clothing and accessories and don't want her in their ad campaigns." [Page Six]
• Holly Madison is "depressed" about calling it quits with Hugh Hefner, but basically, she claims, "I got too old for Hef." Yeah, that's right: She's 28 and too old for the original Playboy. She now sleeps in a guest room. "I still work for him. We're still best friends. I still call and check in on him almost everyday." [Newser via Extra]
• More from Holly: "It might be refreshing to date someone who is not high maintenance. Sorry, Hef, you know you're high maintenance. I love you but you know you're high maintenance." [Perez Hilton]
• The rest of Janet Jackson's tour: Officially canceled. They say scheduling conflicts. Could it also be vertigo? Or crappy ticket sales? [Perez Hilton]
• Amy Winehouse and Pete Doherty are both off of NME's "Cool List" this year. Drugs and jail are bad for your career, kids! [The Sun]
• CNN's Christiane Amanpour may finally get her own show. It's about time! [Page Six]
• A top Hollywood agent — who repped Brad Pitt, Angelina Jolie, Leonardo DiCaprio, Jennifer Aniston and Matthew McConaughey — insulted his clients, stole gifts sent to them, and discussed their private parts, a lawsuit alleges. [Page Six]
• Angelina Jolie explains War and Peace in her household: "We don't take war and violence lightly, but we don't hide it from anybody. Listen, my kids play video games. I let them play with toy soldiers. We say, 'Mommy and Daddy have movies where we play these characters, but there's real death and real violence in the world. There's a real responsibility there to create in their minds the difference between the two." Also, when Mommy visits Afghanistan, she wears a flak jacket. [People]
• Anne Hathaway's new man is an actor named Adam Shulman. He's cute. [Perez Hilton]
• The Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network (GLSEN) is not happy about when Nelson's use of "that's so gay" in a scene with Milhouse on The Simpsons. [TMZ, E!]
• 50 Cent's new TV show, 50 Cent: The Money and the Power, airs tomorrow on MTV. Fourteen "wannabe moguls" compete to earn a $100,000 investment from the rapper by doing challenges like walking through Brooklyn chained together. No, really. There's a clip. [People]
• Christina Aguilera's new TV commercial for Target has a comic-book feel, meaning she wears a red jumpsuit and a cape. At least she seems to know who Roy Lichtenstein is. (There's video of her talking about the spot.) [People]
• Don't tell anyone, but Keanu Reeves is a secret genius. He reads Proust and stuff. Shh! [Newser via Details]
• Cammy Diaz: Seen smoking like a fiend and being rude at Drew Barrymore's Halloween party. [Page Six]
• Charlie Sheen left his pregnant wife at home to go party at get lap dances in Las Vegas because he is Charlie Sheen. [Star]
• Guy Ritchie has hired a top family lawyer to handle his custody battle with Madonna. She's already got a top divorce lawyer. Ever heard the joke about he little girl at the cemetery? She asked, "Mommy, do they ever bury two people in the same grave?" Her mom said, "Of course not, Why would you think that?" And the girl answered: "The tombstone back there said 'Here lies a lawyer and an honest man.'" [Daily Mail]
• Guy Ritchie went out for drinks and now the Brit tabs are calling him "Tipsy Ritchie." [The Sun]
• Tina Fey's Emmys and SNL appearances may be translating into more 30 Rock viewers. She deserves it! [AP]
• Hindu leaders are not amused by Heidi Klum's Kali Halloween costume. [Best Week Ever]
• Katie Holmes and Rebecca Gayheart were friends 16 years ago, way before Katie met Tom Cruise. According to Roger Friedman, after Katie met Tom, "Gayheart, like most of Holmes’s friends, never saw her or heard from her again." But now Gayheart's in a Broadway play right around the corner from All My Sons. Will they reunite? [Fox 411]
• Have mercy: Janice Dickinson was on some afternoon court TV show, being sued by one of her former models. Judge Christina (???) listened to her crazy-ass defense are ruled in her favor. [ONTD]
• Sharon Osbourne on Simon Cowell's break-up: "He deserves it. He's a t****r, that's the truth." Hmm, what's that word there? Tosser? Anyone? [Mirror]
• Simon Cowell gave Terri Seymour $5 million cash and another $4.6 to buy a Beverly Hills home as a parting gift. Simon, break up with me next! [MSNBC]
• Oh, and Simon says: "Don't worry about me - I don't need a lonely hearts ad. I'm off women now." [Mirror]
• Daniel Craig in a Bollywood film? "I am open to offers from India… Till now I haven't been fortunate enough to get hold of an Indian movie. But yes, I will be very honoured and excited to work with an Indian actor or actress on any given chance. I also feel very obliged for the immense popularity which I enjoy in this part of the world." [ONTD]
• Katie "Jordan" Price was named Britain's Best-Loved Celebrity Mum because "she's not perfect." [Mirror]
• Liz Hurley's husband likes it when she dresses like a tart. "Like the vast majority of men, Arun likes short, tight, sexy dresses." Here's the good news: So does Liz. [The Sun]
• Expect to see a lot of Jennifer Hudson headlines like this (this isn't the first one): "Hudson Begged Mother To Move Out Of Neighborhood." [Daily Express]
• Denis Leary is the voice of Ford Trucks. Don't worry, he makes no mention of autism in the commercials. [Business Week]
• Singer Duffy accidentally set her hair on fire in her dressing room in Cleveland. Candles are soothing yet dangerous! [ONTD]
• Matthew Broderick quotes Ferris Bueller in this prObama video. [Newser via HuffPo]
• Carrie Underwood won't tell you who she voted for, so stop asking. [People]
• Cindy McCain "has this evil queen beauty about her," quoth Project Runway's Austin Scarlett, whilst seen voting in New York. [NY Observer]
• Apropos of nothing: "Mariah Carey's Top 10 Maddest Moments." [Mirror]
• Audrina of The Hills moved out but LC was cool with it blahblahblah JustinBobby blahblahblah. [People]
• Corrie Loftin of Paris Hilton's My New BFF was once ins a Girls Gone Wild video. And hanging out with Paris is different… how? [E!]
• "Sporty Spice," Mel C says: "I know there’s been a lot of things written recently saying I’m getting married and they’ve said the date and the church and that Victoria’s organizing it, but, no, we’ve got no plans." Seems she wants to have the baby first. [The Sun]
• Did Ivana Trump's young Italian husband cheat on her with a hot Italian model? "Nothing sexual happened. That I know for sure," she writes in Page Six Magazine. "I'm not going to make any other comment until I speak to him." Good idea! [Page Six]
• Selena Gomez, 16-year-old budding Disney star, was asked if she reads tabloids: "Recently, I have not. I'm actually very, very proud of myself. Honestly, the blog sites and everything — I'd be on them nonstop. I've gone four weeks total without looking at them and I'm very proud and very happy. I was addicted. It was bad." [LA Times]
• Courtenay Semel's dad, former Yahoo CEO Terry Semel, has cut her off. What's a girl to do? A reality show, obvs. [Page Six]
• For the last time: Joe The Plumber did not hook up with any SNL cast member. [Politico]
• Simply Red's Mick Hucknall, yes, that's right, Mick Hucknall, paid £29,000 for a pair of David Beckham's football cleats in 2002 and they seem to have lost about £25,000 in value since then. Surely he's wishing he really could be holding back the years. [Mirror]
• Reading about Bianca Jagger being in an argument over a €200,000 ring she lost in Salzburg earlier this year is like reading about a goblin surfing on Mars: Sounds interesting, but I just can't relate. [Yahoo News]
• Very cool, worth-your-while profile of Diahann Carroll. She says: "Dynasty was rather marvellous, you know. It was all about the clothes. The most important thing about the day was wardrobe, and of course I explained to Aaron [Spelling] I didn't want to be on the show unless I could be bitchy." She also says: "I lost two children [to miscarriage]. That's why when we talk about racism it will always take third, fourth, fifth place to some of the other things that have happened to me that are much more meaningful than being in a room with an idiot who is going to judge the color of my skin." [Guardian]
• "Having a love is a gigantic bonus in life, but I wasn't unhappy when I was single, either. (John)'s just fun, so much fun. I'm very happy now." Bo Derek, who's living with John Corbett, aka Aidan from Sex And The City. [The Sun]
• "I enjoyed being Mayor of Carmel, but you do see that it is very difficult to get things done. You just have to lose your soul. You have to bullshit people. You have to deal with people you don't care for and will never be friends with, so you kind of sell yourself out to be a politician. You have to kiss it up with the world. That ain't my style." — Clint Eastwood. [Daily Express]
• "I'd always fall for guys I wanted to save. For the first time, I fell in love with someone who saved me." — Jessica Simpson on Tony Romo. [People]
• "I would rather be sexy like Simone Signoret or Anna Magnani than like - oy, vey - Paris Hilton" - Erica Jong to More. [Page Six]
• "Barack Obama's treated like the Messiah in England. We don't have particularly inspirational politicians, certainly no one who can draw crowds in the thousands." — Daniel Radcliffe. [Page Six]
• "I think every black kid will tomorrow will be one inch taller when he goes to school. And I think everyone will be energized. And a lot of people who had given up hope in the last seven eight years are hopeful." — Richard Belzer. [Observer]

[New York, November 4. Image via Bauer-Griffin]

[New York, November 3. Image via INF]

[New York, October 26. Image via Bauer-Griffin]

[New York, October 19. Image via Splash.]

[New York, September 24. Image via Splash.]

[New York, September 23. Image via INF]

[New York, September 15. Image via Flynet]

[New York, September 9. Image via INF]

[Heathrow, August 20. Image via Flynet]

New York, July 30. Image via Bauer-Griffin]

Us
"It Was In Vitro!" Angelina and Brad conceived the twins via an in vitro procedure because they didn't want to wait to get pregnant. Brad was the one who pushed Angie to have more natural kids because he really wanted a biological son. Well congrats on getting one! Moving on: Pictures of Sienna Miller frolicking topless with Balthazar Getty. The author writes: "If you were dating a married man, you could be discreet about it — or you could be Sienna Miller." In all fairness, he is separated. A story called "Are They Too Old For…" questions whether Brad should be carrying Pax Jolie Pitt, 4; whether Calista Flockhart's son Liam, 7, should have a teddy bear and whether Suri Cruise, 2, should still be drinking from a bottle. Judge much?
Grade: F (stinging nettles)

Life & Style
"Hollywood's Pregnant!" So Ben's mom has confessed that Jen Garner is knocked up with baby number 2. A section of this story is called "Why They Waited." Their first kid is two years old! Is that "waiting"? The next four pages are stars who maybe someday could possibly perhaps have kids: Eva Longoria, Reese Witherspoon (she got pregnant before she married Ryan Phillippe, so she could get pregnant while dating Jake!), Jen Aniston, Ellen DeGeneres. Moving on: "Why Britney Gave Up The Kids" attempts to explain why Brit "let Kevin win" the custody battle. Uh, she "let" him? There was no way she was going to get full custody while in a conservatorship, right? Love this little chart called "Everybody's Wearing Stripes" because by "everybody" they mean three celebrity kids (Fig. 1). Hate this picture of Audrina "flaunting" her body, because those fake boobs are crazytown (Fig. 2). Mariah Carey has told new hubby Nick Cannon to get a job. She wants him start modeling, and he likes the idea. Kelly Osbourne's "amazing body transformation" is about how she went from curvy to trim. "She's lost weight by being in love," a source says. On the plastic surgery spread titled "Who's Had it, Who Hasn't" basically everyone has had it. Intern Margaret likes Megan Fox's old nose. (Fig 3.)
Grade: D- (poison oak)
In Touch
"Baby Joy: First Photos" So the cover has a picture of Angelina Jolie holding a "baby" and a burst that reads, "20 new pics inside." But. If you look closely, you'll see that Angie is holding Shiloh's doll. And the caption inside reads, "Angelina, here carrying Shiloh's doll, can't stop smiling since she's been home." So, while these are indeed new pictures, they are NOT new pictures of twins Knox and Vivienne. But there are 20 new pix spread over 6 pages. They show Brad, Angie, Shiloh, Zaharah, Pax, Maddox, Brad's mom and dad and some unidentified other boy all playing soccer (Fig. 4). Moving on: Alex Rodriguez has another woman! She's "Madonna's rival." Her name is Maritza Franco and she's "close friends" with A-Rod. Next: Britney is "paying Kevin" for the kids because she's agreed to increase the child support and is getting an extra night of visitation. But! In the same article a source says, "It's not a pay day, it's like this in any divorce." Also inside: Mary Carey is off the wagon. Nicole's older kids met their new little sister Sunday about 12 days after she was born. Kim Kardashian's going to be on Dancing With The Stars. Lastly: Apparently Spencer Pratt will pose for Playgirl… if they pay him $1 million.
Grade: D (thornbush, with points deducted for falsely advertising the cover story)
OK!
"Daddy's Little Boy!" Matthew McConaughey's makes his baby's birth sound like a drum circle: "Contractions started kicking in, and we found a great rhythm. We had a 14-hour session, her and I did. I sat there with her, right between her legs. We got tribal on it. We danced to it. I was DJing this native Brazilian music. We were jamming!" Something happened where the doctors were trying to vacuum the baby out because the umbilical cord was being compressed. Matt says: "This is where I learned — and no one tells you this — but having a baby is a bloody, pukey, sweaty, primeval thing." Little Levi already has a baby wet suit and Matt says, "He'll be surfing next weekend." Intern Margaret thinks the baby looks just like Matt (Fig. 5). Moving on: Britney and Justin back together? Well, they will record a duet for her new album. The song, written by Justin, will be produced by Timbaland, of course. On page 15 there's a picture of svelte Nicole Kidman and a doctor who doesn't treat her says, "It doesn't mean something's wrong, but we'd be worried she exercised too much and didn't eat properly." So remember how Life & Style said "Everybody's Wearing Stripes"? OK! spins it thusly: "Guess Who's Stealing Suri's Style?" The mag also says designers are making sweet babydoll dresses now, inspired by Suri.
Grade: C (ragweed)

Star
"Sarah Jessica's Husband Caught Cheating!" An "exhaustive 5-month investigation" done by Star: Matthew Broderick has been seeing a woman who is a "respected counselor to children" and they met in a bar. She's 25, he's 46. The magazine is protecting her identity, so they only show a pixelated picture. (Fig. 6) Apparently Matthew told the woman that his marriage was "not good" and they fooled around in her apartment. Days later, he texted her to meet him at the Manhattan townhouse of a "showbiz friend" and they had sex. She says "It was great! Matt is a wonderful kisser!" She's nicknamed him Mattycakes. All this was happening while SJP was filming Sex And The City. Eyewitnesses saw Matt make 2 more late night visits to the woman's apartment building. On another occasion they had sex in the woman's friend's apartment because the woman's boyfriend was home. The woman is pissed that Matthew told her he was going on vacation in Ireland but then she saw pictures of him in Hawaii with his family (he was texting her and saying how beautiful Ireland is.) Eventually the woman broke off the relationship because Matt admitted that SJP didn't know that he thought their marriage was "not good." Moving on: Angelina and Brad left the hospital so quickly, they left behind champagne bottles and an autographed card from Bono. (It might have been on purpose, to throw off the paparazzi.) Oh, and their estate in France is over run by wild boars. Next: Is Zac Efron taking human growth hormone? He's gone from "scrawny to brawny." (Fig. 7) Oh. And look at this picture of a picture of Halle Berry showing a picture of her baby (Fig. 8). Diddy is engaged to singer Cassie. Ellen is on a 1,000 calorie a day diet. David Beckham broke the law by driving with his 5 year-old son in the front seat. Plus: Michelle Williams has found love… with Spike Jonze! She's known him for years but recently they were spotted kissing. Amanda Seyfried broke up with her long-time boyfriend while filming Mamma Mia because she was having feelings for costar Dominic Cooper. She says: "The fact that I felt something in my heart for Dominic made me feel that something was definitely wrong. I sat and thought about it for weeks." Sam Ronson has been accompanying Lindsay Lohan to AA meetings for the past year, and Sam won't drink as long as LL is sober. Lindsay's been undergoing random drug testing while shooting her new movie as a condition of the producers. (She's clean.) Lastly: Katie Holmes' hands are "veiny, wrinkled and purple" and Scientology is to blame.
Grade: B (tall grass)
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Fig. 8

• Matthew Broderick: Cheating on Sarah Jessica Parker? Having "sex in the city" with a gorgeous redhead half his age? More on this in Midweek Madness. [Star]
• Brad Pitt "pulled a Britney" and drove with Shiloh on his lap. But he was in a golf cart. In France. (Yes, there are pix.) [This Is London]
• Christian Bale's family is complicated. Did the so-called "assault" involve pushing? [LA Times]
• Bale's been released. [Telegraph]
• And he denies the assault. [LA Times]
• Christian Bale "went ballistic" on the set of Terminator 4 last week, screaming "I will kick your ass" and other stuff in a situation called "intense." Apparently he was "extremely tired and having a bad day." [TMZ]

• This report says that Christian Bale is "depressed" over Heath Ledger's death. A source says: "He has stresses in his marriage. He can have a terrible temper. Instead of lashing out at his wife, he sometimes lashes out at people around him. Without Ledger around he's found it more and more difficult to communicate with those around him, especially his family." [News.com.au]
• This headline reads: "If Batman's truly gone bad, has Christian Bale doomed his Oscar hopes?" [LA Times]
• Miley Cyrus admits that the Vanity Fair pictures were probably not a good idea. "I think I was just in a stage where I was just trying to get things done, and maybe look for an older audience. I was working with a big magazine just trying to go with what they were saying." [People]
• Maggie Gyllenhaal think Heath Ledger's portrayal of The Joker deserves an Oscar. "I would vote for him," she says. "To be that incredible in a movie that's this huge, that's about so many things, is really an accomplishment. In a way I feel funny thinking about the Oscars when he isn't alive, but at the same time I'm a member of the Academy and I would vote for him." [People]
• Matthew McConaughey, girlfriend Camila Alves and son Levi landed the cover of OK! magazine. Which is now "the baby magazine." He makes the birth sound like a drum circle: "Contractions started kicking in, and we found a great rhythm. We had a 14-hour session, her and I did. I sat there with her, right between her legs. We got tribal on it. We danced to it. I was DJing this native Brazilian music." [MSNBC]
• Jay McInerney making a cameo on Gossip Girl makes me so so so happy. I read him when I was in high school and his glittery druggy version of New York fits right into the GG aesthetic. Bright lights, big city, indeed. [NY Mag]
• Amy Winehouse on her husband's sentence: "Why Blakey? They said he was coming out." [The Sun]
• This is also Amy: "Blake and I can't wait to have kids. I want at least five kids. I want twins. Blake is gonna be the most amazing dad. When Blake was about we talked about it all the time. To be honest, I think kids have got a lot more going on than adults. They've got their heads screwed on a lot better." [Telegraph]
• Amy probably wasn't at court when Blake was sentenced because she hired a cleaning team to scrub the house, thinking he was coming home. Apparently the house was a mess and the team was armed with mops, dusters and bottles of concentrated bleach, which they used for five hours to get things sparkly. [Mirror]
• Amy's wax figure at Madame Tussauds in London has been unveiled. Her dad says: Father Mitch joked: "We're going to take this one home with us and take the real one back. This one does what she's told and doesn't move." [Mirror]
• Post-breakup Sarah Silverman is "doing great." [UPI]
• The overdose story involving 19-year-old Peaches Geldof may have been "exaggerated," but now comes the news that she's entered a phase of "competitive dieting" with her younger sister Pixie, 17. Get it together, kids. [Daily Mail]
• This report says she collapsed due to dieting. [News.com.au]
• Oh look! Peaches' handwritten drug shopping list. Weed, coke, Diazepam and Viagra. Lovely. [The Sun]
• Cameron Diaz went to Drew Barrymore's psychic, Mrs. Grace. Apparently Cammie will have "marriage and kids" and a "beautiful future" with her boyfriend Paul Sculfor, that model who dated Jen Aniston. [MSNBC]
• Courtney Love's business managers are suing her, because she doesn't have enough problems. Apparently they didn't get their 5% of the sale of a portion of the Nirvana publishing catalog, which would be $975,000. [TMZ]
• Katie Price, the "glamour model" known as Jordan, admits that she does not write her bestselling novels. "I'm not going to lie, I don't sit there with a typewriter and write it, of course I don't," she says. "I don't have time to do that. I say how I want the storyline to be, each chapter is done, I read through it change it and then it goes away to be written. So I'm not going to sit here and say I write it word by word because I'd be lying. I actually say how I want the story and that's how it happens." [Daily Mail]
• Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban are "adjusting" to life with a newborn: Starbucks runs and mattress shopping. Yawn. [People]
• The sequel to The Simpsons Movie will be out in like four years. [The Sun]
• Ashanti is now the tourism ambassador for Nassau County on Long Island. Uh, congrats? [AP]
• Freddy Krueger is coming back to the big screen! The Nightmare on Elm Street franchise is being relaunched. Wouldn't it be cool if Johnny Depp would make a cameo appearance? [Reuters]
• Daisy Fuentes, 41, says: "I don't want to compete with the way I was at 21 – I love looking like a woman." She's on the cover of Fitness magazine looking amazing. [People]
• For an MTV special, Kanye West visited with a trio of soldiers who have returned home from Iraq. "There are hundreds of veterans out there who are falling through the cracks," says Kanye. "They make the ultimate sacrifices for us by laying down their lives, but it seems like a lot of them just get forgotten about." [Guardian]
• Heather Locklear is out of the treatment center she was in for anxiety and depression. She's most excited about being home with Ava, her daughter by Richie Sambora. [People]
• Sean Connery says his ex-wife is an "insane woman" who spreads "vicious lies." Connery claims he never told his son he would cut him out of his will. Messy family business. [Daily Mail]
• Richard Simmons has ideas for getting schoolkids more active. Sweatin' with the Youngies? [USA Today]
• "She's a phony. As long as she continues to be a fake and a phony, she won't be successful." — Omarosa on Wendy Williams. [AP]
• Coldplay was "snubbed" by Mercury Prize judges. In the running: Estelle, Adele, Elbow, Radiohead, The Last Shadow Puppets, British Sea Power. Have I mentioned I love Adele's voice? [The Sun]
• A source says Lauren Conrad "seems to have lost a grip on reality and thinks she is A-list material." This comes after she was paid to host a party and showed up 2 hours late. [Page Six]
• Blind item! "Which reality TV has-been can't even go to paid appearances anymore? His manager is too worried about how trashed he gets when he's on the payroll." [Rush & Molloy]
• There may be video of the incident in Shreveport, LA involving Josh Brolin and Jeffrey Wright getting tasered and pepper sprayed by cops. Sorta hoping it gets released. [Rush & Molloy]
• Supermodel-turned-designer Kelly Bensimon joins The Real Housewives of New York City next season. "Several of the housewives are nervous," a snitch says. "She's too blond and beautiful and energetic. They don't want to be outdone." [Rush & Molloy]
• Love this: Luke Russert made such a good impression on TV viewers (or producers?) after his father's funeral, NBC is recruiting him for its election coverage team. [Page Six]
• "I mean, what's my illness? I guess I could say I have a terrible case of I-wanna-smoke-weed-all-day." — Seth Rogen, explaining in Elle why he won't get a medical marijuana card. [Page Six]

[New York, July 16. Image via INFDaily]

[New York, April 29; image via INFdaily.com.]

• It will not surprise anyone to learn that the clothes worn in the Sex & The City movie were not paid for by the movie's production budget but by designers hoping that product placement in the movie will result in clothing sales to actual people convinced that dressing like the characters in Sex & The City is a wise course of action. [Variety]
  
• Speaking of which, Matthew Broderick on the opening of his latest film, the Helen Hunt-directed Then She Found Me: "We just get dressed, get in a car, and hope for the best. But Sarah Jessica's premiere will be a big one! She looks really beautiful today, but it's just the dress rehearsal for now." [Fashion Week Daily]
  
• Hell to the no, Rami Kashou did not copy Yves Saint Laurent in designing a dress for Heidi Klum! [NY Mag]
  
• Bloomingdales' workers are on the brink of their first-ever strike. That's what you get when you let retail workers unionize, Terry Lundgren! [Crain's]

• "Her new 'grande bourgeoise' style suits her well," says lingerie designer Chantal Thomas of France's new first lady, Carla Bruni-Sarkozy. We think this is a compliment. [WWD, 4th item]
• Designer Bruce Oldfield is designing uniforms for McDonald's employees in the UK. But don't worry, they're not too "quirky and eccentric." [Vogue UK]
• Model Hana Soukupova on how she goes green: "I got a Range Rover as I just learned to drive and it's big and safe and great for driving around NYC. I am very eco-conscious and must admit I have been considering a different car for the summer. I'm thinking of swapping it for a Mini Cooper." You know, Hana? There's also walking. I know models at least have to know how to do that. [Chic Report]
• Yves Saint Laurent designer Stefano Pilati loves Jamba Juice. [Fashion Week Daily]
• Coach: Income up, stock down. [WWD, sub req'd]
• Calypso founder Christiane Celle has left the company she started, a mere seven months after cashing out big time to private equity firms. Blah, blah, irreconcilable differences, what else is new; can we still get candy-colored linen and silk little dresses? [WWD, sub req'd]
• Urban Outfitters: Soon to feature in-house collections by Geren Ford, Steven Alan, Charlotte Ronson, and Paul & Joe. Pete Wentz must be so excited. [WWD, sub req'd]
• Aw, vintage Krazy Karl. [Sassybella]

The Good:
They don't call her The Divine Miss M for nothing.

Nom nom Colin Firth and the pretty lady on his arm.

Good for Heather Matarazzo and her girlfriend for keeping it simple.

Words I never thought I would say: Kelly Killoren Bensimon looks fresh, sophisticated, and classic in her exaggerated shirting dress. This is by far one of the best looks of the night: So effortless.

Also, I love Olivia Palmero taking boho chic (a heinous phrase, I know) to the max.

I have no idea if daughter-of-Meryl Mamie Gummer can act, but I totally love how she dresses. In short black she remains cute and sweet.

Sure both Kathy Najimy and Gloria Steinem have been sporting the same look, respectively, for like the past 15 years now — but I wouldn't mind aging like Steinem and stealing her outfit when I do.

Jesus, even Sarah Jessica Parker and Matthew Broderick turned up looking kicky last night.

Go for the gold, Helen Hunt.

The Bad:
Bernadette Peters is inching dangerously close to pathetic old cat lady in this outfit.

Aw, it's Magda (aka Lynn Cohen)! Only, she looks like she stepped out of a time machine that just returned from 1988.

No Ricki, no Ricki, no!

Ew: It's Jessica Seinfeld. (Oh and also that rich famous dude she married.)

The Ugly:
And today Irina Pantaeva shows up dressed like a ladybug.

[Images via FilmMagic.]

The Good: Will Arnett and Amy Poehler: Please adopt me. Go ahead and call me crazy, but I think this is a great look for Rosie O. Aw, Susan Sarandon. Jonah Hill never fails to make me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. Susie Essman's dress proves that funny always triumphs over fashion.

The Bad: Eh, take that back. See: Kelsey Grammar and his scary-looking wife Camille. Dear Sarah Silverman: 1) I'm over you. 2) Get a new outfit.

The Ugly: Can someone tell me when Matthew Broderick morphed into a puffy alien? Um, yeah same for Robert Kennedy, Jr. And Maroon 5, whose egos are bloated.

[Images via Bauer-Griffin.]

• Victoria Beckham has been approached by Fox to host her own fashion reality TV show. Posh would travel around America — some small, "backwater" towns — finding style-challenged people, and giving them fashion make-overs. Geek to chic! [Marie Claire]
  
• Jake Gyllenhaal and Reese Witherspoon went to a play in New York on Sunday, but spent the whole time texting. Rude! [Page Six]
  
• Though he's been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer, Patrick Swayze's doctor says he "has a very limited amount of disease and he appears to be responding well to treatment thus far." [People]
  
• Demi Moore is on the cover of Bazaar and talks about her relationship with Ashton Kutcher inside: "People made such a fuss about it. You would have thought the world had never seen it before. Age wasn't what I was thinking about, but to the rest of the world it was a very big deal." [Perez Hilton]
  
• Demi's family portrait is hot. [People]

• Cosby Show alum Raven Symoné, 22: "I want to have a record label and a licensing company. I want to have a publishing company and a management company where I can launch all kinds of artists. I want to do everything. I want to be Disney." Get it girl! [LA Times]
• Terri Irwin faces a court battle over a million dollar debt at her late husband's Australia Zoo. A debt collector is suing the zoo and Terri in a case that involves an offshore bank with ties to a corrupt tax official. Messy stuff. [Times]
• Bai Ling pleaded guilty to disturbing the peace in her case regarding the theft of Star magazines and batteries. She was ordered to pay a fine of $700, and you can now go back to not thinking about her, if you want. [People ]
• Jamie Lynn Spears will be a guest star on an ABC comedy called Miss Guided, premiering March 20. Judy Greer stars in the sit com and JLS (who wasn't knocked up when she shot the show) plays a troubled student; Ashton Kutcher also guest stars. They really really really want people to watch. [People]
• Scott Weiland pleaded innocent to his DUI charge. He's free on bail and goes to court April 4. [Reuters]
• Jack Osbourne: Sings like his dad. At least when doing karaoke. [Page Six]
• Josh Kelly on those pix of he and Katherine Heigl and the moving truck: "Katherine and I are moving boxes and furniture into our new house in LA and this gang of photographers were there snapping away at us. So I say to them, 'You guys are just going to sit there taking pictures, making money while we bust our asses?'" That's when the paparazzi started lifting boxes. [Page Six]
• Sarah Jessica Parker and Matthew Broderick would not have a kid if it weren't for herbal supplement Airborne, cough cough. [Page Six]
• Jeremy Piven continues to hit on women everywhere, yawn. [Page Six]
• Blind item! "Which hit show that has everyone guessing about its closeted male star also has a female co-star who plays for the home team?" [Gatecrasher]
• Blind item! "Which floundering pop star is hoping a unisex clothing line will rehab her nonexistent singing career?" [Rush & Molloy]
• The court has extended Jamie Spears' conservatorship of Britney to July 31; though it could end earlier if Brit's mental state keeps improving and stabilizes. It seems like she's in a good place, here's to hoping she keeps it up! [TMZ]
• Meanwhile, Sam Lutfi allegedly says, "I am going to call Britney to the stand so she can tell the world how I was helping her. I am innocent. I am Britney's friend and would never hurt her." Sure, sure. [MSNBC]
• Showgirls star Elizabeth Berkley will host Bravo's new show, Step It Up & Dance. But will she keep her clothes on? [TMZ]
• That boy from American Idol with the pretty pretty lips went to a school for "at-risk" kids and had "issues" or something. Wow, his lips are so pretty. [TMZ]
• Valerie Bertinelli on Eddie Van Halen's undisclosed health crisis: "I really don't think it's anybody's business." [People]
• Producer Linda Perry is suing over royalties she's owed from James Blunt's album. [Reuters]
• The True Colors Tour is coming! Cyndi Lauper, the B-52s and, um, Carson Kressley. [USA Today]
• Lily Allen won't play the Isle of Wight Festival in the UK because her new album is behind schedule. But leave her alone, she's been through a lot. [Perez Hilton]
• Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt attended the memorial service of Heidi's stepbrother yesterday; he died after slipping off of a roof and was a veteran of combat missions in Iraq and Afghanistan. [People]
• Dancing With The Stars' Julianne Hough, 19, will be a virgin until she gets married. She also does not drink, smoke or do drugs. Goody two-shoes. What do you do? [People]
• Sarah Ferguson, The Duchess of York, is a "fat-fighting guru" for a new TV show in the UK. She will help mere, common people with their weight issues. [BBC News]
• Jerry O'Connell will take part in a race across the Scottish Highlands. Kayaking, rappelling and that kind of stuff is involved, yet the race is sponsored by a liquor. Interesting. [UPI]
• Bruce Willis is a stoner. [Perez Hilton]
• Producers from The View are not wooing Cindy Crawford, which is too bad. [MSNBC]
• MTV won't air the new Gnarls Barkley video featuring Justin Timberlake because it could trigger an epileptic seizure. View at your own risk! [MSNBC]
• Danny Bonaduce will host a child star reality show, on VH1, which sounds healthy. Not. [UPI]
• Death threats against Daniel Radcliffe? How could anyone hate Harry Potter? [Sydney Morning Herald]
• You know John Waters' Cry-Baby is coming to Broadway, right? (I am so there.) [Page Six]

[New York, February 17. Image via Splash]

[New York, NY; January 15. Image via INF.]