If you're wondering "Why on earth is she going on The Today Show, out of the blue, with apparently no show business to promote, to announce this?" you're not alone, but it turns out Meredith was drawn out of her private life by tabloids who threatened to reveal her "secret," and decided to own the story herself. After three failed marriages, she realized seven years ago that she was a lesbian; she told her kids and friends, and was living openly with her partner, Nancy, without feeling any need to announce it publicly until the tabloid situation arose. So basically, it's really no big deal. But Meredith did say that she hopes that people who remember her from her Family Ties days (aww!) will think of her when issues of gay rights and social equality come up, and have a more open mind. In a week full of scandals and famewhores, Meredith's lack of sensationalism and matter-of-factness is refreshing. Below is the segment in its entirety (don't miss the weird part where Matt asks her if she had a "B-movie moment" in which she ran to the mirror screaming "I'm gay! I'm gay").

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Earlier: Glamour Shocks Readers By Featuring Plus-Size Model's Belly

Perhaps it's because no one has argued the case against the talk show host - and his writers - in a way that truly resonates with me. Or maybe it's simply because I really like Dave and really dislike Governor Palin; proving, sadly, that my East Coast, liberal prejudices are hard to shake, even in the face of misogynist, questionable verbal assaults against women. Perhaps it's because the protestations of Governor Palin herself seem more a way of scoring political points and press attention than sincere repudiations of misogyny in the media or eruptions of her protective, inner "Mama Grizzly Bear". (I couldn't put my finger on why I wasn't more viscerally offended on behalf of Palin's daughter - Willow or Bristol - but a commenter on the blog Reclusive Leftist summed it up nicely: "What's really annoying about the last two videos is that he's just using Palin's daughter as a prop to make jokes about notable MEN (Spitzer and A-Rod). The effects are that she ends up being portrayed as a prostitute or a rape victim, but those effects are secondary to the punchlines about the men in the jokes." At first glance, this seems to absolve Letterman and his band of merry, mostly male, comedy writers of some responsibility: The jokes were about widely-mocked men! But of course, this also means the Palin daughter(s) become pawns, faceless, nameless vehicles with which to score comedic points. Yes, not cool.)

Speaking of jokes: I suspect my tepid defense of Palin and her brood it has a lot to do with the difference between "comedy" and, well, rhetoric. David Letterman, however unfunny or inappropriate, was making jokes when he went after Palin and her daughter(s) earlier this week. With assertions that cracks like his directly contribute to assaults on young women and an epidemic of low self-esteem, however, Palin, whose relentless verbal assaults and insinuations during the presidential campaign are hard for me to forgive or forget, bypassed reasoned disagreement and went straight into rhetoric-land. Take her appearance this morning on Today (clip above). Host Matt Lauer questioned the Governor on the Letterman flap, pressing her on some of her more provocative statements about situation, asking, "Are you suggesting that David Letterman can't be trusted around a 14 year old girl?" Her response: "Take it how you want to take it." Later, she sarcastically made mention of "the candidate who must be obeyed," i.e. Barack Obama.

There was more where that came from. Last night on Sean Hannity's Fox News hate fest, conservative columnist S.E. Cupp placed the blame for Letterman's remarks squarely on Obama.

"This is the enduring legacy of the Obama campaign. I'm not saying this to be inflammatory, I blame Barack Obama because he allowed his surrogates in the media and Hollywood and everyone else on the left to do this dirty talking for him," she said, adding, "I want Barack Obama or Michelle Obama to come up and say, this kind of rhetoric will not be tolerated."

Leaving Ms. Cupp's strange definition of "rhetoric" aside, it seems to me that coming to a passionate, spirited, coherent defense of a United States Governor and one or more of her daughters regarding a late night comedy show bit is well below President Obama's pay grade at the moment. Sadly, considering my obviously muddled feelings on the subject, it's also below my current cognitive, critical abilities...or sympathies.

Conservative Columnist Blames Obama For Letterman's Palin Joke [HuffPo]
David Letterman, The Voice Of Dude Nation [Reclusive Leftist]
Palin Forces America To Become Aware of Her Once Again [NY Mag]
Did Letterman Get A Free Pass? [Salon]
Palin, Letterman, Still At Odds Over Comedian's Joke [AP]

• Matt Lauer flipped over the handlebars of his bicycle this weekend when a deer ran in front of him. Meredith Viera thought this was hilarious, but Lauer needs surgery for a separated shoulder. [Entertainment Tonight]

• Matt Lauer wasn't on the Today show this morning and co-anchor Meredith Viera said Matt "thinks the deer was hired by the competition." She added, "I hired the deer, but I said, 'Just graze him.' " [People]
• Lance Armstrong suffered a broken collarbone after falling during the first stage of a five-day race in Spain. He's returning to the U.S. so doctors can determine whether he needs further surgery. "I'm miserable. I just need to relax a couple of days and then make a plan," he says. [CNN]
• David Letterman and longtime girlfriend Regina Lasko have gotten married. They have one son together and have been dating for 10 years. [Us]
• Tyrese Gibson is defending Chris Brown again. He says: "Although he appears to be really strong through all of this, it's really taking a toll on his spirit," said Gibson. "People like me and Puff, we're just trying to show him love and keep his spirits up while he's going through all of the heat, and there are a lot people doing the same for Rihanna ... It's really hard for him to focus right now on his music, even though he really wants to ... At the end of the day, I'm not trying to justify it because wrong is wrong, but unfortunately, us as entertainers, we have to grow up on stage with a lot of people looking at us. And a lot of people forget that he's 19, she's only 21." [People]
• Today LeAnn Rimes was pictured kissing her husband, Dean Sheremet, though it was reported last week that she is cheating on him and he is gay. [TMZ]
• Northern Lights, the TV movie LeAnn Rimes starred in with her alleged lover, Eddie Cibrian, was the highest rated Lifetime movie this year. Was it all a publicity stunt? [Perez Hilton]
• M.I.A. complained on her blog that people were saying her babies name is Ickitt. Now the baby's brith certificate reveals it's actually Ikhyd. [TMZ]
• In honor of Bruce Willis' wedding, Ashton Kutcher has Twittered some of his advice on marriage. He writes: "For me it's about relearning that supporting my wife isn't about providing $ and Home, it's about supporting her desires, needs and emotions." Kutcher added: "Greatest lesson in my marriage. Don't try to solve her problems, just listen, love and be supportive. This is the opposite of male nature." [Yahoo]
• Leanne Marshall, says of her former Project Runway co-star's (Kenley Collins) cat throwing, "This should put a clear answer to the question I am most frequently asked, 'Was Kenley really that awful, or was she just edited like that?' " She says: "When she got angry, I knew to keep my distance. Clearly, she needs therapy." [ONTD]
• Jackie Chan is giving up kung fu movies. He says he doesn't like the Rush Hour films, but "they're paying us really well." He says now he "would love to be the Asian Robert De Niro or Dustin Hoffman." [The Mirror]
• Roseanne may be headed back to TV. The show, a family comedy in which Roseanne would play the lead role, has already been pitched to FOX. [Perez Hilton]
• In this riveting video, Hugh Jackman does a bad job parallel parking his car. [TMZ]
• The psychiatrist who allegedly gave Anna Nicole Smith illegal drugs is now involved in her own scandal. Photos of Dr. Khristine Eroshevich snorting what looks like cocaine have surfaced online. [Star]
• Vanessa Regrave, mother of Natasha Richardson, has postponed her performance of The Year of Magical Thinking which was set to start in New York on April 27. [Yahoo]
• With everything the censors do allow on Family Guy it's a little surprising they cut this song, in which Stewie violently kills people who annoy him such as the cast of Entourage and "the girl you date who doesn't get the jokes in Caddyshack. [Entertainment Weekly]
• What is it with these kids? Photos of Joe Jonas pulling his eyes to make fun of Asian features recently surfaced, but while Miley Cyrus immediately apologized about her racists photos, Jonas hasn't said anything. [Socialite Life]
• TMZ doesn't approve of Mischa Barton smoking on the way to the gym. [TMZ]
• Zac Efron won't be kicking off his Sunday shoes. He's pulled out of a remake of the movie Footloose. [NY Magazine]
• Robin Williams' heart surgery was successful and he is currently recovering at the Cleveland Clinic in Ohio. "Mr. Williams' operation went extremely well and we expect him to make a full recovery," said the hospital's cardiothoracic surgeon A. Marc Gillinov. "A couple of hours after surgery, he was entertaining the medical team and making us all laugh." [E!]
• Mariska Hargitay is returning to work on Law and Order: SVU this week after being treated for a collapsed lung. [ONTD]
• A Steve McQueen biopic is in the works. [Hollywood Reporter]
• Chad Michael Murray told a fan he's getting kicked off One Tree Hill because The CW "wants to save money." He encouraged fans to "start blogging and being pissed off." [The Superficial]
• Ciara is rather flexible in the new video for her song "Love Sex Magic" featuring Justin Timberlake. [Pop Sugar]
• The man who rented the house where the season finale of The Hills was filmed is suing producers because he claims they cause $158,250.07 worth of property damage. [ONTD]
• In this then and now feature, we get to see what the cat who played Mr. Bigglesworth in Austin Powers looks like today. [People]
• Kanye West is on the cover of Complex, though it's a little hard to tell it's him because he was photographed with the same technology used to age Benjamin Button. Kanye is also surprisingly humble. He says: "I would never spaz on MTV the way I did before. I feel like there are people who have given a lot to me and I wasn't appreciative of them. MTV had a major part in making me, so how the hell could I ever come out of my mouth and dis them and just be like the cry-baby-ass bitch over one performance? How the hell is a 29-year-old grown ass man acting like a little bitch and getting all emotional? How spoiled can I get?" Kanye explains that he only acts like an arrogant jerk because, "I'm here to entertain people and to be the one that does the crazy, bold stuff so they can live through me and get their mind off the recession and the war and whatever else is going on in the world." [E!]
• "I always thought I'd be a really good gay guy. I love American Idol. I watch Antiques Roadshowlike crazy. Guys like Oscar Wilde, Stephen Fry, Elton John – they're all very bright, with a razor-sharp wit. David Sedaris – who's funnier than David Sedaris? The Saturday Night Livethat I hosted was such a gay-heavy show. But it didn't even cross my mind until after. The family that kept kissing each other – I didn't even think of that as being gay... I remember doing interviews for The Object of My Affection, and people would say, 'What was it like to kiss a guy?' Like it was such a shocking thing. I said, How many times does anyone ask, 'You had to shoot somebody. Was that weird?' I love gay guys. I feel pretty gay. I'm certainly not the most macho guy in the room." - Paul Rudd [World of Wonder]

• A $50,000 warrant has been issued for the arrest of Lindsay Lohan in connection with her May 2007 DUI arrest. The police are not releasing specifics, but hope that Lohan will "surrender herself." [TMZ]

• The Beverly Hills Police Department has issued this statement: "In response to media inquiries, [the] Beverly Hills Police Department is confirming a warrant was in fact issued today [March 13] for the arrest of Lindsay Lohan. The $50,000 warrant issued by the Beverly Hills Superior Court stems from a May 2007 arrest of Miss Lohan for DUI and hit-and-run. The circumstances leading to the issuance of the warrant by the court are not readily available at this time. It is our hope that Miss Lohan will surrender herself so that this matter will be resolved in a timely manner."[USWeekly]
• You may not have to hear that alleged Chris Brown and Rihanna duet after all: "Chris and [producer] Polow da Don wrote a song together," the source says, "Around August or September of 2008, Chris and Rihanna recorded a demo of that song. What they recorded were just reference vocals. There is no duet, and nothing has been recorded together since February."[JustJared]
• Katy Perry says she's not interested in the paparazzi: ""I don't ever do anything to try and bring it upon myself.There are ten thousand other restaurants besides the Ivy. I'm not obsessed with getting my picture taken. You know there's just so much taken out of context. There's so much nit-picking. I turned my data alerts off."[ShowbizSpy]
• Khloe Kardashian has some klassy words for Jeff Eldridge, the West Virginia lawmaker attempting to pass a Barbie ban: "He can suck an egg, seriously. He's probably butt-ugly and always wanted a girlfriend that looked like Barbie but could never get one. People like that really annoy me." [FoxNews]
• Keira Knightley's swashbuckling days are apparently behind her: the actress won't be back for Pirates of the Caribbean 4: "It was a completely fantastic experience, and it was an amazingly large portion of my life, but I don't think I need to go there again. I think that it's done. But I'm very excited to see the next one."[Cinematical]
• Krista Barth, who once represented Howard K. Stern, says Stern is being punished based on media speculation and not facts: "The television, tabloid and Internet trial of Mr. Stern in the court of public opinion has been based on sensational lies, speculation, rumor and gossip," Barth says, "Unfortunately, it appears that criminal charges have now been brought by the state of California based on this same type of misinformation." [People]
• Robert Pattinson struggled to film a gay sex scene for his upcoming film, Little Ashes. ""[The hardest part was] trying to do it doggie-style. Trying to have a nervous breakdown while doing it doggie-style," Pattinson says, "And it wasn't even a closed set. There were all these Spanish electricians giggling to themselves."[ShowbizSpy]
• Former WWE wrestler Andrew Martin, better known as Test, has been found dead at the age of 33. [ONTD]
• Michael Jackson impersonator Navi is denying charges that it was he, and not MJ, who showed up at the wacky press conference announcing Jackson's upcoming tour. "That was Michael Jackson, I'd stake my life on it,' Navi says, "He is so reclusive, most people don't know what he really looks like. When he's not on stage, he does walk with a slight hunch. If that wasn't Michael Jackson, I might as well give up - because it means there must be someone out there who's better than me." [DailyMail]
• "People say to me, "Madonna must really boss you around" and I tell them "No! She's the most docile, sweet, quiet little student. She'll follow everything I want. Madonna never slacks off. She's like a gym nerd." -Madonna's trainer, Tracy Anderson.[Mirror]
• Mandy Moore's iPod goes up for sale for charity soon, and shock of shocks! There are no Ryan Adams songs on it. 10 bucks says Ryan doesn't have "Candy" on his iPod, either. [PageSix]
• Is Clive Owen the new Cary Grant? I love them both, but, uh, no. [TimesOnline]
• "I just really think that when people really understand that this is a human rights issue and that there are a percentage of people living in this country that don't have the same rights as everybody else, I think that people will be compelled to make sure that they live in a country where every single citizen has the same rights."-Portia de Rossi on Prop 8. [LATimes]
• Matt Lauer's Where In The World Is Matt Lauer? series has been cancelled due to the poor economy. Meanwhile, Carmen Sandiego is still on the loose, Gumshoes! [USWeekly]

• Brad Pitt's mom was supposed to move into the Long Island estate where the posse is staying while Angelina Jolie films Salt, but Angelina has reportedly nixed the idea.

She thinks Brad should be able to handle the kids on his own, like she did when he was filming in Germany, according to a source. No word on what is up with the nanny, but that was a Star story and this is from a different source. [National Enquirer]

• Jen Aniston and John Mayer have indeed broken up. [Gatecrasher]
• It's official: Dancing With The Stars is a goddamn health hazard. Now Steve-O has pinched nerves. [ET]
• Injured Jewel will sing "Somewhere Over The Rainbow" on DWTS on Tuesday. [UPI]
• Bong boy Michael Phelps's interview with Matt Lauer will air on the Today show this morning and again Sunday on Dateline. [ET]
• Here's what you're gonna hear Michael Phelps say during the interview: "mistake," "bad judgment," "stupid mistake." Wait, do you regret it? [People]
• Last week, four of the celeb weeklies put Rihanna on the cover, and none of them saw an increase in sales. Life & Style had a picture of Jennifer Aniston on the cover, and sold more than sister mag In Touch. [NY Post]
• Chris Brown's image still appears on Sony Music's website. [NY Daily News]
• Details on Mandy Moore's wedding to Ryan Adams: The bride wore a "cream-colored, lacy tea-length dress and flat sandals" and the groom wore "tight skinny jeans, a T-shirt with sport coat and sneakers." The pastor "didn't know who they were." The ceremony took eight minutes. [People]
• The woman is dead but Anna Nicole Smith's legal issues live on: Now Howard K. Stern has turned himself in for providing ANS with prescription drugs. He was arrested and booked yesterday and the charge is a felony. [TMZ, People, Fox 411]
• This report begins, "Let's stop encouraging Joaquin Phoenix's miscreant behavior - the only thing real about this rap act is the beard." [MSNBC Scoop]
• Joaquin's "brawl": "It was a fake fight," says a witness. "Nobody threw a punch. They were just holding onto each other." [Page Six]
• Here's what Hayden Panettiere has to say about that "outburst" she had on the red carpet: "I have tremendous respect for the media and reporters – particularly the press who treat the people they are interviewing with dignity. While in Hawaii, one reporter grabbed me suddenly from behind and frightened me. It happens. Typically, the press has treated me with great respect." [Ok!]
  
• Will Slumdog's Freida Pinto be the new Bond girl? Signs point to yes. [The Sun]
• Kelly Killoren Bensimon may have "beaten up" her boyfriend to make sure she stays on Real Housewives. People are saying the attack was fake. [Gatecrasher]
• Someone is leaving House. Who, who? Also, Judy Greer is in an episode next week. She says: "[My character] works at a nursing home and there's a cat, and whoever's bed the cat sleeps on dies in the next couple of days. And then one day the cat snuggled up to my character and she totally freaks out and goes to see House..." [E!]
• Miley Cyrus wanted to meet Radiohead after the Grammys. She was told they "don't do that." She says: "I left 'cause I was so upset. I wasn't going to watch them. Stinkin' Radiohead! I'm going to ruin them. I'm going to tell everyone." Radiohead responds: "When Miley grows up, she'll learn not to have such a sense of entitlement." [Mirror]
• Feel like doing a *headdesk*? Peaches Geldof will be in a reality show about her "career" at Nylon magazine. [The Sun]
• No one wants you to forget that auction documents show that Michael Jackson's house was filled with sculptures of boys. [TMZ]
• Mischa Barton has a job! She's been cast in a CW show produced by Ashton Kutcher. "Ashton developed it about his life growing up as a model from Iowa, so it's about the whole fashion world that he was in, and obviously I have a lot of friends in the fashion world, so I'm used to being around a lot of people in that," Barton says. "[I play] a bitchy model-type character, like it's a totally different character for me." [People]
• Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson did an SNL skit about Hawaii's tourist industry and now the Governor of that state is pissed. [CBS News]
• Congrats to Cesar Milan, the dog whisperer, who is now a U.S. citizen. [People]
• Hugh Hefner is selling his house. Not the Playboy Mansion — the one next door, where his wife was living. [WSJ]
• OutKast's André Benjamin says it's tough being a fashion designer because people think "hip-hop stars will just throw their names on anything." And: "I'm not a gay man." [Page Six]
• Set your DVR: Tracy Pollan (Mrs. Michael J. Fox) is playing Natalee Holloway's mom in a Lifetime movie. [USA Today]
• Nicollette Sheridan could return to Desperate Housewives after she leaves this season. The show's creator says: "I wouldn't be surprised if that's just a nasty rumour and Nicollette has more Desperate Housewives episodes in her future." [Mirror]
• Vin Diesel says his life has changed in "an incredible way" since the birth of his daughter last year. [Mirror]
• Chris Cornell not only has a new Timbaland-produced album coming out, he has a second career as a restauranteur. In Paris. [Guardian]
• A screenwriter is suing the makers of the Jane Fonda/Jennifer Lopez flick Monster-In-Law, accusing them of stealing her plot. Sorta late, no? [E!]
• Researchers with too much time on their hands have "discovered" that if you listen to U2, you're smart, and if you listen to Lil Wayne, you're not. [The Sun]
• Whatever happened to Mary Stuart Masterson? She's in a new indie called The Cake Eaters. [LA Times]
• Least blind blind item ever? "Which rapper threatened a pal after the buddy mistreated his girlfriend? The icon got in his face, then froze him out on the group's private jet." [Gatecrasher]
• "I certainly try my best not to be a terrible interview subject. But I am tortured. If you've been acting all your life, you can just talk about yourself without ever thinking about what's going on inside the head of the person that's interviewing you. But for me it's different, because I'm constantly seeing it from both sides. I don't think there's any connection between my journalism career and my film career." — Greg Kinnear. [Independent]
• "I think that the best way to judge movies is, like, 10 years after they're released. I think they should actually do the awards that way. I think they should have done the Academy Awards this year for movies from 1998. I think it's better to look at a movie and then step back and look at it again. I don't think that the awards necessarily get it right. I think they get it wrong more often than they get it right." — Matt Damon, to Parade. [MSNBC]
• "For me this thing happened so long ago and I just really wish people could move on from it. I don't live in the past. When I read headlines about me saying 'When she was 15 her mother shot her father' it's very sensational for me.It happened 18 years ago. Since then I've had a complete, full life and, my God, if I've been living the past 18 years in the past because of one event that happened in my life someone should put a gun to my head and put me out of my misery because that's a waste of my life. I am 33 and I have had a much bigger life than that one event." — Charlize Theron. [Daily Mail]
• "I'm probably a lot more boring than I used to be and more tired at night. You can't fake it. It's like when it's bedtime, it's bedtime. I go to bed earlier and I get up earlier. I think being a parent changes everything about you in really little ways and in ways that you don't really understand unless you have kids. It's kind of like describing a guitar chord - it's not really a simple thing to do." — Matt Damon, to Parade. [Mirror]
• "Before we were married, my wife and I used to play a game called Let's Go Get Lost. We'd be driving, and she would just tell me to turn. 'Turn here, turn here, turn here.' I'd say, 'Baby, I know this town too well. I can't get lost.' And she'd say, "Turn, turn, turn." Until we were out in Indian country, and they were shooting at us." — Tom Waits. [GQ]
• "I'm kind of frightened of the red carpet. I really am. And, you know, it gets worse. At one time, you could just come down the line, meet the fans, see the film and hopefully a good night is had by all. It's changed. You have people checking out your dress from the minute you step onto the carpet and then, you know, it's a hit or miss. That can be more frightening than the premiere." — Julia Roberts. [CBS News]
• "I'm currently in the writing process. I'm learning how to play music and write song, but they're comedy songs. Because I can't write music or play very well - actually, I have quite a bit of musical aptitude when it comes to the guitar, but I don't know how to write music - I'm collaborating with different artists who are giving me the music while I provide the lyrics. Two of the people I'm collaborating with will be performing with me at SXSW - Patty Griffin and Amanda Palmer [of the Dresden Dolls]. [The songs] are all pretty dirty. The titles are things like, 'I'm In Love With Someone Else So Fuck You' and 'Eat Shit and Die.'" — Margaret Cho, who is performing at SXSW… as a musician. [Time]

Earlier: Snuggie Party
America's Gone Snuts For The Snuggie
A Blanket. With Sleeves.

There's a reason that "serious" political minds and critics mostly ignore Ms. Coulter — performance artist or not, after a while, there's just not much to say. That said, one of the most enraging aspects of seeing Coulter is not that she slings stupid shit right and left, but that no one in the media seems to be able to effectively shut her down. One the one hand, you have CBS's Harry Smith, whose patronizing, above-it-all tone yesterday morning didn't do him — or Coulter's critics — any favors. On the other, there's Matt Lauer, who is more than willing to get into the ring but, once there, throws a few anemic jabs but seems unwilling to deal the knockout blow. Is the reason why no one in the male-dominated, mainstream broadcast media effectively dismantles Ann Coulter due to the Sarah Palin problem, i.e. the fact that Coulter — despite tired old jokes to the contrary — is a woman? Because if so, I think most of us can agree that critics' darlings Campbell Brown, Rachel Maddow and especially single-mom Katie Couric need to stop posing for pretty pictures and intelligently, calmly, rip c-nts like this a new one.

Earlier: Ann Coulter Admits She's Just In It For The Yu(c)ks
Why Is The Word Cunt Still Such A Big Deal?
Rachel, Katie & Campbell Are In Vogue

[New York, December 15. Image via Bauer-Griffin]

Earlier: New Carrie Fisher Memoir: Mom Got Me A Vibrator For Xmas

Earlier: 30 Rock Is Back And Liz Lemon's Trying To Adopt

• Mischa Barton claims she is a PhotoShop Of Horrors victim: A new batch of paparazzi beach shots showed her legs riddled with cellulite. "Those photos are doctored," Barton's rep, Lisa Perkins, says. "I'm not saying she's perfect, nobody is. But they've given a 22-year-old woman the legs and bottom of an 80-year-old." The pix were taken by the dude she's pissed at for snapping topless shots; the same one who ran Nicole Kidman off of the road. [Rush & Molloy]
  
• You can see the pictures here, with a regular paparazzi shot as well. Photoshop? [Daily Mail]
  
• Apparently Mariah Carey wanted a $3 million wedding with doves and orchids and Nick Cannon wanted to get married ASAP with no fuss. Mariah agreed because, as she has said, "We really do feel we are soulmates. I never felt a love like this was in the cards for me." Aww, that should be sweet but somehow it's fucking annoying. [Mirror]
  
• Lindsay Lohan: Seen doing shots of tequila with Lauren Conrad! LL turned her back so no one would see; unfortunately she was facing a window and the whole bar could see her reflection. Whoops! [Rush & Molloy]
  
• Meanwhile: You know how Lindsay had finally gotten a movie role? In that Manson Girls flick? Well she's been kicked off of the project. Producers "discovered that they couldn't find any name actresses who wanted to co-star with her," says Nikki Finke. [Deadline Hollywood via ONTD]

• It looks like officials in Malawi are all set to grant full adoption rights to Madonna. A document says: "Mr and Mrs Ritchie have shown a strong commitment in providing the infant with all essential needs like love, safe home environment, care, protection, material as well as emotional support." [Yahoo News]
• Jessica Simpson will be little sister Ashlee's maid of honor. At Ashlee's yet-to-be-scheduled wedding. [People]
• Jeremy Piven and Pink: Seen "all over each other" and "dancing really close." [Page Six]
• Alec Baldwin may want to switch careers. "In a matter of weeks, I'm going to be 50," he says. As long as he doesn't leave 30 Rock! [Page Six]
• Even though Tom Cruise told Oprah that he regrets his infamous argument on the Today show, Matt Lauer, Lauer says, "I don't think he needs to apologize. I don't feel there are any hard feelings. It was an interview. It was a good moment on television." Oh Matt. You're glib, Matt. Glib. [People]
• Jessica Alba challenges you to a staring contest. [People]
• Katie Holmes "has got the itch" to have another baby. Praise Xenu! [E!]
• Poor Uma Thurman may be in court again! Lancôme is suing Uma as a preemptive strike: Her contract as the face of the cosmetics company expired in 2005; yet her picture was seen in ads on Asian websites and on a Canadian billboard recently. [E!]
• Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt get their locks lightened by the same colorist. News you can use. [E!]
• Josh Brolin as George W. Bush. [E!]
• Daisy Lowe, 19, is loving hanging out with new boyfriend Mark Ronson, 32. Sigh. [Daily Mail via ONTD]
• Um, Chloe Lattanzi, daughter of Olivia Newton-John and contestant on Rock The Cradle, seems to have had quite a bit of collagen injected into her lips. And maybe a nose job. [ONTD]
• When Simon Cowell was a teenager, he hated school so much he was practically suicidal. He says, "I was so bored. I didn't like rules or discipline. So when someone said, 'These are the best days of your life' I actually thought about jumping off a bridge." [Mirror]
• Foxy Brown pleaded guilty to "menacing" a woman with her BlackBerry in 2007 and thereby avoided going on trial for assault. Time for a kinder, gentler Foxy! [Reuters]
• There is audio of the domestic violence 911 call involving Vanilla Ice, if you care to hear it. [The Superficial]
• Madonna is endorsing secondary ticket sales for her upcoming tour, which means if at first it seems like it's sold out, it might not be — if you have the cash. [Financial Times]
• Ashton Kutcher slept around before he met Demi Moore, surprise, surprise. [The Sun]
• Daniel Depp got his debut novel published, maybe because he is Johnny Depp's (half) brother? [Independent]
• Hot hottie Gary Dourdan of CSI has been charged with felony drug possession. Maybe I'm old but I remember him best as the gorgeous man in the Janet Jackson video. [Yahoo News]
• Rihanna kissing Chris Brown at KFC! LOL! [Concrete Loop]