• Nene and Kim might get evicted from Real Housewives Of Atlanta?!?! Aren't they the most entertaining ones?

Oh: They're demanding more money than Bravo wants to shell out. Hmm. Anyways, Bravo is looking for new wealthy/notable Atlanta housewives, though Usher's ex-wife Tameka Foster isn't being considered: Apparently "Tameka isn't very popular in Atlanta," and all the "housewives" said they'd leave the show if she were cast. OUCH. [Gatecrasher]

• BREAKING: John Mayer was seen talking to Kim Kardashian. She is happy with Reggie Bush, however. [Page Six]
• A hip NYC cafe is being sued by a waitress who claims she had her hours cut after she refused to date the "Butterscotch Stallion," Owen Wilson. [Page Six]
• Oprah won't win an Oscar for "producing" Precious because she signed on to do so after the film was shot, which disqualifies her (and Tyler Perry). [NY Post]
• By the by: Oprah's ratings are down. [NY Post]
• I like the way Josh Brolin is looking at Matt Damon in this Entertainment Weekly pic from a story about the documentary project The People Speak. [Gatecrasher]
• A former nanny claims that Christie Brinkley ignored the fact that Alexa Joel was becoming a troubled child. [Page Six]
• Mischa Barton was seen knocking back shots and drinking margaritas and a source says "she looked healthy and in control." Whatever that means. [Page Six]
• Wendy Williams got breast implants when she was 14. FOURTEEN. fourteen years ago. Sigh. Misleading headline! [Gatecrasher via People]
• The company which has the rights to distribute shirts, posters and other things with Michael Jackson on 'em is suing EVERYONE who is "bootlegging" items. [TMZ]
• A California appeals court is considering whether Roman Polanski's case can be dismissed without him being present. [CNN, LA Times]
• Kendra Wilkinson has given birth to Hank Randall Baskett IV. [Ok!, People]
• Inevitable? Tiger Woods paramour Rachel Uchitel is in negotiations to pose for Playboy. [Extra]
• Another (unnamed) woman who had a relationship with Tiger Woods has hired Gloria Allred as her lawyer. [Radar Online]
• Porn star Holly Sampson is not denying anything; she confirms that she and Tiger Woods were "intimate." In addition, in some old video clip she says that Tiger is the whitest black boy you've ever met. His teeth are perfect and he's the perfect gentleman." Then she points to her crotch and says: "He's beautiful ... beautiful everything." [Us Magazine]
• Hollywood madam Michelle Braun says that at least two of Tiger Woods' hookups — Jamie Jungers and Holly Sampson — were high-end escorts. [TMZ]
• Oh, and Michelle Braun says that Tiger was a client, and paid $60,000 for her high-priced hookers. [E!, NY Daily News, NY Post]
• Holly Sampson: "Although I enjoyed our time together, I never was and never will be one of Tiger's mistresses. I resent being put in the same category as the other women." This is because their hookups took place before he was married. [TMZ]
• "Tiger Woods has come clean to his stunning Swedish wife about ALL of his dirty horndogging, porn-star loving, cocktail-waitress chasing and general catting around with scads of ladies, according to a report." [NY Post via People]
• TLC was granted an injunction against Jon Gosselin, which — thank Zeus — bars Jon from making any more appearances like that embarrassing pool party thing. [Extra, AP]
• You may have heard that Chris Brown did a radio interview in which the DJ asked him about Rihanna — and Chris promptly hung up. Audio at the link. [TMZ]
• Jeff Bridges plays a washed-up country singer named Bad Blake in new movie Crazy Heart, and says his mom didn't like one of his most famous characters, The Dude, and "probably wouldn't like Bad, either. She liked to see her son play the president or a doctor-like any old mom, you know." [WSJ]
• Q: You've been married to the same woman for 32 years. Rule #1 for staying together in Hollywood? 
Jeff Bridges: "Don't get a divorce. That will keep you together, you know." [WSJ]
• "Michael Barrett, 48, Will Plead Guilty To Stalking For Secretly Making Nude Film Of ESPN Reporter [Erin Andrews]; Faces 5 Years In Jail." [CBS News]
• Brad Paisley has the number one album on Time's Top 100 Albums list. [Time]
• The Princess And The Frog is the number one movie on Time's Top 100 movies list. (Up is number 2, so, yay! animation.) [Time]
• Lil Wayne's new album, Rebirth, has been delayed. Again. [Reuters]
• RIP Flight Of The Conchords. Show collaborator James Bobin says: "While the characters Bret and Jemaine will no longer be around, the real Bret and Jemaine will continue to exist." Quietly sob while you watch this video the guys made for us, the ladies of the world. Redheads not warheads! Blondes not bombs! Brunettes not fighter jets! [NY Times]
• RIP It's On With Alexa Chung, which I actually thought didn't seem so bad, although I only saw it once or twice. [Variety]
• Russell Crowe is an a "laughable weepie" of a movie this columnist calls a "mawkish blunder." [NY Post]
• "I'm not picky, quite honestly. It's simply that I recognize pretty quickly the stuff that I don't like. And I also recognize the impulse that is dragging me towards a piece of work. And perhaps as you get older, that impulse comes less often." — Daniel Day-Lewis sounds kind of picky about his acting roles. [Guardian]
• "I am not proud of being rich." — Ricky Gervais. [Page Six]
• "There's no question that the recession has had an effect on the arts, especially on British films. Things are not being greenlit as much and it is more difficult for people to get work. When you go abroad people always talk with such love about British theatre, but the irony is that it's not appreciated by the Government as it should be. The state of the arts has always been, and will always be, precarious. But there is something so alarming about the huge cuts made to companies, particularly when you read of the astronomical amounts some people are earning, like bankers… I am concerned that they've taken a lot of the subsidy to the arts away for the Olympics. It's been siphoned off." — Dame Judi Dench is is calling for arts funding to be fixed. [Times Of London]
• "The Internet is full of humorists. They've risen from the earth. They've fallen from the skies. Anyone can write anything, anytime they want. Blogs that are angry—which maybe half of them are—wear out. What people keep going back to are writers who are funny. That's a great thing." — Garrison Keillor. At the link, he reveals why he wears red shoes. [Time]
• "I'm doing well, you know, because I'm committed to it and they're lovely, lovely people, its been nice. Obviously when I heard that my girlfriend had preacher parents, I thought well this has got a huge scope for disaster, but it's actually been quite good so far. Its been really good actually, in retrospect its been one of my favorite years, [the highlight was] meeting Katy. She's amazing. I'm having a right laugh. She's a good person to spend time with and its changed me - it's made me stop doing stuff that I probably shouldn't have been doing." — Russell Brand. [Daily Mail]
• "I didn't get cast in Shakespeare, but [my teacher Mrs. Rodriguez] cast me later in Oliver… There are a lot of people in my life who are surprised that I am where I am, but Mrs. Rodriguez would not be. I wish more than anything that she truly knew how much I really loved her for the gift that she gave me." — America Ferrera "held back tears" as she spoke at a New York Women In Film lunch; her teacher died of cancer before America became a star. [Page Six]
• "WOW... THIS IS REALLY FLATTERING... I'VE HAD SOME UPS AND DOWNS THIS YEAR, WELL ACTUALLY THIS DECADE. JUST SEEING THIS COVER TAKES ME BACK TO THAT TIME OF MY LIFE. I REMEMBER HOW MUCH PAIN AND LOVE WENT INTO THIS ALBUM. NO ONE SAW IT COMING. THIS PROJECT WASN'T ABOUT ME, IT WAS ABOUT A TIME IN PEOPLES LIVES WHERE PEOPLE FORCE OPINIONS ON YOU AND YOU HAVE TO MAKE CHOICES FOR YOURSELF. WE LOVED 50 CENT BUT WE WANTED TO BE THE YANG. WE WANTED TO WEAR PINK POLOS AND RAP ABOUT BEING HURT INSTEAD BEING INVINCIBLE. THERE WAS A CORE GROUP OF PEOPLE WHO WORKED ON THIS ALBUM EVERYDAY.... PLAIN PAT, JOHN MONOPOLY, DON CRAWLEY, ANTHONY KILHOFFER, MANNY MARROQUIN, JOHN LEGEND, DEVON HARRIS, RYHMEFEST, GEE ROBERSON, HIP HOP, AL BRANCH, DAMON DASH, GABE TESORIERO, CRAIG BAUER, GLC, OL' SCHOOL ICE GREE, CONSEQUENCE, B NICE AND MY MOM. I WAS MOST INSPIRED BY THE MISEDUCATION OF LAURYN HILL AND I LISTENED TO THAT ALBUM EVERYDAY WHILE WORKING ON MY DEBUT. THANK YOU FOR THIS ACKNOWLEDGMENT AND FOR PUTTING "THE BLUEPRINT" ON THE LIST ALSO. I LOVED "THE LOVE BELOW' AND "GET RICH OR DIE TRYING" ALSO. THEY BOTH EQUALLY DESERVED THE NUMBER ONE SPOT IN MY EYES BUT THERE CAN ONLY BE ONE NUMBER ONE!!!" — Your friend Kanye West is kind of excited about Entertainment Weekly naming his CD, The College Dropout, the top album of the decade. [KanyeUniverseCity]

• OMG. Is the world ready for little 4-year-old David Banda? Madonna says, when it comes to her work: "He knows every song, every word, every step, and he wants to wear all the costumes." And:

"He likes my dress that I wear in 'La Isla Bonita.'" Her Madgesty says that all of her kids are into dancing and "secretly" study with her dancers. But she insists they are not spoiled: "They get great bonuses and perks out of being my children and they know it, and they're very grateful and appreciative for it. I think they are pretty balanced in terms of how they view fame or celebrity or things like that. I think it took them a while to adjust, but I think they're okay about it." [People]

• Bruce Springsteen has posted a statement on his website: "Like many of you who live in New Jersey, I've been following the progress of the marriage-equality legislation currently being considered in Trenton. I've long believed in and have always spoken out for the rights of same sex couples… I urge those who support equal treatment for our gay and lesbian brothers and sisters to let their voices be heard now." [AP, BruceSpringsteen.net]
• Buff Werewolf Taylor Lautner will be on Saturday Night Live this weekend, and in a video promo at the link featuring Taylor and Kristen Wiig, nothing funny happens. [JustJared]
• Julia Roberts got drunk and silly at a celebrity charades fund-raiser, saying things like, "I can't fucking lose on this!" And: "I usually go to sleep at 8:15! Let's have fun! I'm wearing tight pants and my kids are asleep!" [Page Six, Gatecrasher]
• On Barbara Walters' 10 Most Fascinating People, Kate Gosselin said that her kids miss the TLC cameras and were all "sobbing" at the loss of their pals: "They cried in the van on the way home from school the other day," Kate told Babs. "They kept asking, 'Where's the camera crew? Where's the camera crew? We miss them.' And I said, 'Our show is over.'" Lady, you need to start saving for therapy. Plus eight. [MSNBC Scoop]
• Barbara Walters' "10 Most Fascinating People" are: Glenn Beck, Lady Gaga, Kate Gosselin, Jenny Sanford (the wife of wandering South Carolina Gov. Mark Sanford), Tyler Perry, Michael Jackson's three kids and Adam Lambert. Wait, isn't that 9? "A lot of people nobody had ever heard of last year," Babs says. "And a lot of it is about sexuality." [NY Post]
• Susan Boyle dreamed a dream and it came true! She sang on stage with Elaine Paige. The performance will air as part of a TV special. [Telegraph]
• 90 minutes before Tiger Woods' car crash, his wife, Elin, called Rachel Uchitel and yelled at her, "I know everything." Elin hurled a cellphone at Tiger and broke his tooth, then grabbed a golf club and chased him around the house. He ran to his car barefoot to get away from her. Allegedly. [NY Post via Star Magazine]
• Tiger Woods' reps offered a witness with "detailed knowledge" of Tiger's affair with Rachel Uchitel $200,000 to STFU. [Radar Online]
• Tiger Woods' best friend, Byron Bell, is getting married this weekend, and the bride is a sales rep for Nike. Tiger Woods is the face of Nike Golf, which is how Byron and the lady met. [TMZ]
• Is Beyoncé working on a lucrative, long-term contract with Wynn Las Vegas? [AP]
• Nicolas Cage's ex, Christina Fulton, claims he promised her a house but the evicted her — and, in addition, inflicted her with "mental, physical and emotional abuse" during their relationship. Which ended 15 years ago. She wants $13 million. [TMZ, People]
• Sienna Miller and Jude Law are on, and they don't even care who knows it. [Page Six]
• Rolling Stone Ronnie Wood and girlfriend Ekaterina Ivanova: Splitsville. Ronnie's relationship with Katya, as she is known, was responsible for the end of Ronnie's 23-year marriage to wife Jo. [Daily Mail]
• John Stamos says his "racy" pix are so tame he's going to release them himself! Blackmailers were trying to extort $680,000 from Uncle Jesse, even though the snaps just show John posing with fans. [NY Post]
• Danity Kane's Aubrey O'Day was seen "shaking everything she's got" in front of Samantha Ronson, who was not interested. [Page Six]
• Michael Jackson allegedly left his Las Vegas mansion a wreck; the place needs $234,000 (from Michael's estate) to repair damages. [TMZ]
• Matt Damon's dad is sick. [Alfre Woodard's daughter, Mavis Spencer, has been named 2010 Miss Golden Globe. She's an aspiring model and soon-to-be Columbia University freshman… And she's gorgeous. [ET]
• Coming to a theater near you on Valentine's Day, 2011: Pretend Wife, starring Adam Sandler and, maybe, Jennifer Aniston. The plot is under wraps but I imagine the two will PRETEND to like each other, hijinks will ensue, and they'll fall in love. [The Hollywood Reporter]
• Josh Brolin: Being considered for a role in Men In Black 3. Why MIB3 is being considered is another story. [LA Times]
• If you want to see a KTLA newsguy go off on Perez Hilton, there's a video at the link. Dude calls the blogger a "talentless dope" and says: "We've been here long before Perez Hilton upchucked his way onto the scene and we'll be here long after he slithers away." [Fishbowl LA]
• There's been a possible break-in and theft at Nicky Hilton's house… Has the Beverly Hills Burglar Bunch struck again? [Pete Doherty. [Independent]
• The Craft star Rachel True has a stalker with a disgusting mind. The woman was arrested outside Rachel's house with a "large sex toy" in her possession. More lurid details at the link. [TMZ]
• RIP As The World Turns. My grandmother watched, and after she died, my grandfather watched. My mom watched, and me, my brother and sister watched in the summer. Meg Ryan, Julianne Moore and Marisa Tomei were all on the show before doing movies. End of an era! [NY Post]
• "I could be coming to Broadway. I sure want to. And nobody knows this. I haven't told anyone. You're the first to know. That is, if there's something to know… actually, it could even be off-Broadway. Right now it was just a reading, but I'm excited at the possibility. Who knows?" — Roseanne Barr might work with Ethan Hawke's theater company. [Cindy Adams]
• "We were together for a year, and we just started breeding. We were like, 'Let's have a baby!' And eight days later…" — Jennifer Garner, on her family planning with Ben Affleck. She also says: "I can live with Ben working crazy hours. But I can't live without girlfriends… It's fine if he's not there; I just need someone to bitch about it to." [Page Six via W]
• "I used to paint fried eggs. I was in a phase" — Shakira, in the upcoming issue of W magazine, on her amateur art career. [Page Six]
• "I can't remember when I was last carrying a film. To have a man's story entrusted to me has been very rare. It's in your hands. You have three wonderful co-stars, but basically [my character] George is yours for the day." — Colin Firth on Tom Ford's film A Single Man. [Reuters]
• "With each decade I've enjoyed a fuller feeling of womanliness. I'm healthy, busy and happy. I've nothing to complain about. And I like my body now. I have more curves. They come from age, but I don't care. I'm just glad they're there. At 40, I had my daughter Charlotte, and that was so exciting. At 50, I had just enough age really to appreciate all the good things. And at 60 I feel – touch wood – one has all the wisdom that one's accumulated, the perspective that it's a joyous thing to work with other people." — Sigourney Weaver, who also says she will not get Botox: "Actors' faces have to move. Yes, we want to see perfect people but we also want to see people who look like us. It's just about skin care to me and maybe exercise. I feel I've earned my laughter lines." [Telegraph]
• "I wanted to do the suicide scene, but was told it wouldn't be appropriate. I've also had to tone things down generally. But it doesn't matter, because I'm a massive fan of the queen. I was so excited and have even been practicing my curtsy." — Lady Gaga, on meeting Queen Elizabeth. [NY Post]
• "I'd love to be an assassin. Either that or a lesbian. Maybe both. Hey, a gay assassin, there's nothing hotter than that. Megan Fox would play my girlfriend — hands down. She's yummy. She's hot. All humans are born with the ability to be attracted to both sexes. I mean, I could see myself in a relationship with a girl." — Rihanna, when asked about future acting roles. [The Sun]

• Wait wait wait wait. Did Lindsay Lohan spend the night at Jason Segel's house?

Apparently he came outside and told nosy paparazzi that she was not inside. An hour later, she emerged. [Daily Mail]

• The photographer who shot Lindsay Lohan in a ménage-à-trois situation for Muse magazine, Yu Tsai, says: "When you see her nipple, it just happened in the moment. She was playing the role of Kate Moss — you're at a party and you are with a guy you really love and another girl. She is stunning and radiates in the pictures. Lindsay is incredibly focused where it comes to her career and fashion is her passion. It's raw, it's exposed, this is her at her best. She told me: 'I want to make this iconic.'" So; the nipple shot was in the moment, huh? What about the bare-assed shot? [Page Six]
• Madonna could possibly adopt again. "Never say never," she told a TV news reporter. [Daily Express]
• Is Britney's dad's conservatorship coming to an end? Jamie Spears actually has two: one over Britney as a person; another over her business affairs. The business conservatorship will likely continue, but Britney may get some freedom back. [TMZ]
• "Brad Pitt and Morgan Freeman, the American actors, have made it into Who's Who 2010, adding a 'touch of Hollywood glamour' to the list of new entrants." [Telegraph]
• Diane Sawyer has announced that this is her last week on Good Morning America. She will take over the World News anchor chair for Charles Gibson, who retires December 18. [Good Morning America]
• Christopher Cuomo has resigned from ABC, where he was the is co-anchor of Good Morning America and a regular contributor to ABC Evening News. Is it because people are saying George Stephanopolous will take over for Diane Sawyer? [Radar Online]
• mediabistro.com's TV Newser column declares: "Reports of Chris Cuomo's Resignation Untrue." [TV Newser]
• Alexa Ray Joel is out of the hospital. [Showbiz 411]
• Sources claim that Alexa Ray Joel took pills after fighting with an ex-boyfriend. [Extra, People]
• Alexa Ray Joel's ex-boyfriend, Johnny Riot, says: "I don't know how she's doing." [NY Daily News]
• Drew Barrymore and Justin Long are heating up again, and you know, I hope those crazy kids make it work. Adorable. [Gatecrasher]
• Over the weekend, Jake Gyllenhaal said: "Obviously I exist in my girlfriend's world and my sister's world in a different way, but [being around their kids has] opened my heart and I feel much more grown up and want to be grown up as a result of it." Does using the word "girlfriend" mean that he and Reese have not broken up? [Gatecrasher]
• Tiger Woods is a regular at two bars in Orlando, FL — people who work at the Blue Martini say that Tiger is "really friendly" with the waitresses and at a bar called 23, the private lounge is called the Tiger Room — where Tiger's tab is around $1,500 a night. [TMZ]
• Tiger Woods' fourth alleged mistress, Jamie Jungers, is a former Trashy Lingerie "Trashy Girl," as you can see in the pictures at the link. [E!, E!]
• This post claims that Tiger Woods made the decision to pay off Rachel Uchitel after a "secret phone call" in which she made it clear that was not the one who leaked the story of their affair. And: "Tiger felt it was important to silence Uchitel more than any other woman because his relationship with her was current and intense." [Radar Online]
• More women may come forward to say they've been involved with Tiger Woods. An anonymous Las Vegas nightclub owner says: "He wasn't one to send away someone who was interested. There was a revolving door of women with Tiger. I can think of half a dozen off the top of my head." [MSNBC Scoop]
• One alleged mistress says that Tiger Woods told her his marriage was a sham and "only for publicity." [NY Daily News]
• Tiger Woods' best friend, Byron Bell — the one who bought tickets for Rachel Uchitel to join Tiger in Australia — is getting married next week. Tiger is the best man. [TMZ]
• Wait, what? "Tiger Woods Alienates Black Community With White Lovers." You mean golf didn't do it? One blogger says: "If Tiger Woods had cheated on his gorgeous white wife with black women, the golfing great's accident would have been barely a blip in the blogosphere." [NY Daily News]
• Hey, look who's on the January cover of Golf Digest? Tiger Woods. And Barack Obama. [The Life Files, WSJ]
• Unsolicited uterus update: Amy Adams is pregnant. She and fiancé Darren Legallo have yet to set a wedding date. [NY Daily News]
• Clothingus strippis! The new Harry Potter flick will feature a "very sexy" love scene in which Daniel Radcliffe and Emma Watson are NAKED. Doubt that we'll see Harry's wand, though. It ain't Equus. [Telegraph]
• Susan Boyle is still at the top of the album charts in the UK. [Mirror]
• Matt Damon thinks a fourth Jason Bourne movie will happen "someday." He adds: "It's gotta happen - we've just got to get a script, and we don't have one." The thing is, he wants to do it with director Paul Greengrass, who recently said he wasn't interested in returning to the franchise. "I wouldn't do it with anybody else." [MTV News]
• Rihanna high-fived a young woman wearing the same outfit at her album launch party. [Gatecrasher]
• Shakira will speak at the Oxford Union debating society in front of Oxford University students. [The Star]
• Helen Mirren keeps her Oscar, SAG Awards, BAFTAs, Golden Globes and Emmys in her attic. At the Women in Film and TV Awards – where she won a Lifetime Achievement award — she was asked how a Lifetime Achievement prize made her feel. She said: "Old." [Telegraph]
• A Mexican governor plans to empty a prison in Veracruz in January so that Mel Gibson can film a movie there. [AP]
• "Harvard Medical School professor contends U.S. talk show host Nancy Grace is partially to blame for the suicide of a mother of a missing boy three years ago." [UPI]
• I didn't read this item about how Hulk Hogan wants his antique toilet seat back from his ex-wife because I don't want to know. [TMZ]
• Hotel Gramercy Park premieres tonight on the Sundance Channel, and luminaries such as Debbie Harry, Julian Schnabel, Karl Lagerfeld, Ben Stiller, Winona Ryder, Russell Simmons and Kanye West make appearances in the film. [Page Six]
• John McEnroe and rocker wife Patty Smyth: Spotted smoking a joint at an art exhibit. [Page Six]
• "I've tried, but I get too crazy with that guitar arm and the things coming toward you… I think the game is great… I think the graphics are great."— Ringo Starr has never played Beatles: Rock Band. [Mirror]
• "I didn't really have that many friends at school. Kids would just heckle me: 'Oh, go sing that country beep.' It just dawned on me that I had to love being different or else I was going to end up being dark and angry and frustrated by school. Sometimes I felt like I was some sort of spy because I would go to school during the day, and then, after school, I had this life that was completely different. I definitely was more nervous walking into my first day of freshman year in high school than I was walking up to record labels and handing them my CD." — Taylor Swift. [NY Times]
• "I felt like that was fun. I would do it exactly the same way. You know, I am who I am." — Adam Lambert wouldn't change a thing about his AMA performance. [Gatecrasher]
• "We definitely got bigger than we wanted to be. You feel like you've done something wrong. That woman in mom jeans who'd never let me date her daughter? She likes my music. That's fucking not cool. You almost start doing damage control: When people ask you to do stuff, you're like, ‘No, because I can already tell this record is going to get to a level where people will fucking hate us.'" — Caleb Followill of Kings Of Leon. [Gatecrasher via Spin Magazine]
• "I hid out for a while, but that just drove me crazy. I got cabin fever. I was ready to make music again. It was a hard time, but I found peace in the studio." — Rihanna, on the making of her new album, Rated R. [USA Today]
• "The bottom line is, I really don't know how to relax to the degree that I could just stop. So when something comes along and is presented to me, and I think, 'Gee, I could have some fun doing that,' or 'I think I could bring something to that,' I'll do it."— Angela Lansbury, who is on Broadway in A Little Night Music with Catherine Zeta-Jones. [CBS News]
• Where do you live? "The May Fair hotel." But you must have a home somewhere? "My home is onstage." Where do you keep your things? "I have storage." Not even an apartment? "No. I don't care about those things. I tell my fans this little poem I wrote: For every minute of the day, The truth is that I'm dead, Until I'm here onstage with you -Then I'm alive instead." — from an interview with Lady Gaga. [Times Of London]
• "I'm not trying to be the girlfriend. I'm just kind of game. Often the role they send me is a man's role, written with a man in mind. But character is character; it's not about gender. Writers write these male stereotypes, and it makes it ten times more interesting if a woman says the lines." — Sigourney Weaver on the kind of roles she gets or looks for. Also, she says she once went to the White House, during the Reagan administration, when an 11-year-old Saudi Arabian prince and Ghostbusters fan had requested her presence at a dinner… he was disappointed that she didn't turn up as Zuul. [New York Mag]
• "He hissed at me yesterday. I tried to explain to him but he doesn't understand concepts such as international travel and work. He certainly doesn't understand the concept of a bikini. I am getting him a pet passport which means he can travel around as much as he likes. Unfortunately, they don't do photos. I was really looking forward to that." — Russell Brand on his cat, Morrissey. [Mirror]
• "I started auditioning here and I had the accent, the body and the attitude for the Latin woman, but they don't associate 'blond' with us. I went for a screen test, and they asked me to come with dark hair. I thought it looked better because I have darker eyebrows. So now they believe me that I'm Latin. [Laughs] I always joke that if they throw me in a chlorine pool, all my Latin is going away — my hair and my self-tanner!" — Sofia Vergara, on her role on Modern Family. She also says: "When I came to L.A., people started telling me I had to lose some weight. No one has ever told me in my life that I'm fat. Or that my breasts were too big! When I told my mother that my reps want me to get a reduction, she went crazy. 'God is going to punish you if you cut your [breasts].' …Mine are natural, so they go here and they go there and there's no dress that picks them up! When they told me to lose weight, I was like, are they playing a joke on me? I've always been known for my body! . . . . The thing is I did lose a little weight because I understand that standing next to the stick figures, I don't look as good in pictures. My friend says that the other actresses look better than me on TV because they're skinny. And I'm like, 'Yeah, but I look better naked!'" [LA Times]

[New York, December 1. Image via Flynet]

[New York, November 7. Image via Bauer-Griffin.]

In the new issue of African fashion magazine Arise, reporter Hannah Pool examines the idea that "all Africa ha[s] to offer the world was begging bowl." The article, titled "Good Will Hunting," starts off with a bang:

"When high profile celebrities get shown visiting disadvantaged areas in Africa and those images get beamed out to the rest of the world, I believe they almost do more damage than good," says Moky Makura, Nigerian-born, Johannesburg-based author, M-Net presenter and founder of the Africa our Africa blog. "We don't want to keep reinforcing the image of a helpless continent. We will only eradicate our problems when we build economies based on commerce, not charity. To do this, Africa needs to be seen as an investment destination or trading partner, not as a charity case.

Pool then delves into the conundrum facing many activists on the continent - if people are embracing the idea of "trade not aid" as a way to push forward development, who benefits from this "charitainment?" Pool elaborates:

The merging of charity and entertainment - or, as Time magazine called it, charitainment - has led to some damaging consequences. Celebrities (and their agents) have realised that being seen to care about Africa brings instant cool. About 25 years after Live Aid, A-list celebrities are forever falling out of the pages of magazines such as Hello! or OK!, tearfully waxing lyrical about how spending five minutes in an African orphanage changed their whole view on life. And thanks to Madonna and Angelina Jolie, some Western media appear to be under the impression that the best way to empty Africa's orphanages is not the eradication of poverty but mass adoption by wealthy pop stars.

"Whether it's Bono shilling for AIDS dollars, Angelina and Madonna toting their African offspring, Gwyneth [Paltrow] and David Bowie declaring they are African, or Matt Damon and George Clooney rallying for Darfur, it appears that a new generation of philanthropists have taken up the 'White Man's Burden'," says South African academic Zine Magubane on the pan-African blog Zeleza Post.

As soon as Pool mentioned Matt Damon, I immediately thought of this bit from Entourage:

"Gimme the fucking check Vince!"

At any rate, Pool drops the bomb that's been hovering over any discussion of aid and Western involvement in Africa. The idea of The White Man's Burden actually stems from a Rudyard Kipling poem of the same name. Scholars have long debated if 'White Man's Burden' is a love letter to imperialism or a satirical take-down - Kipling was an avid imperialist but was also a satirist, and his intentions with the piece aren't fully understood. However, the poem and the term have been propelled to the heights of infamy due to the application of the core concept around the globe. (Personally, I prefer Henry Labouchère's acid-tongued retort, The Brown Man's Burden - fascinating how both poems were written in 1899, but still resonate to this day).

One line from Labouchère - Let all your manifestoes/Reek with philanthropy - cuts to the quick of how a "trade not aid" movement developed on the African continent. All this "philanthropy" normally comes with strings and conditions, and it can actively undermine those looking for long term solutions to a problem. Pool, in fact, discusses the work of Dambisa Moyo, a Zambian economist whose book, Dead Aid, who argues that aid only breeds dependency:

"Aid has been, and continues to be, an unmitigated political, economic, and humanitarian disaster for most of the developing world," says Moyo. Rather than wanting to promote Africa as a place of business and opportunity, the West prefers to have Africa as its needy child. After all, imagine how scary a strong capitalist Africa would be. Moyo argues that aid keeps Africa politically and economically pliant, and that celebrities, with their passion for doing good rather than doing business, simply help maintain this status quo (whether they mean to or not).

She adds:

For some, 'glamour aid' is a non-topic. Africa needs money and fast. Getting people to focus on anything else - business opportunities, the arts or tourism, for example - is tantamount to rearranging the deck chairs on the Titanic. The fact is, celebrities raise billions of dollars for Africa, and they generate immeasurable amounts of press coverage for previously ignored causes. Who in the West had given Malawi a second thought until Madonna pitched up, bringing with her the international media and, undoubtedly, valuable donations? And wouldn't thousands of African children be without antiretroviral drugs if it wasn't for Keys and her Black Ball fundraisers in aid of Keep a Child Alive? [...]

"Africa as a continent is torn by many issues, which are beyond the people's control, including poverty, AIDS, and genocide, says [Paschorina Mortty, of events company The One Event which deals with foundations], "so the more celebrities who want to support this beautiful continent, the better. Celebrity support opens up media space and allows the issues to come to the attention of the public and policymakers. Rightly or wrongly, we live in a society where the media and public have a strong interest in celebrities." [...]

Does this interest translate into the public good, or does it just become another way to prolong a problem? In the case of Madonna, I'm not too sure. Her earlier interest stunk to high heaven with the white savior complex, and the controversy over David Banda's adoption added further fuel to the fire. After spending some more time in Malawi, she seems to have shifted out of the idea that one raises awareness by adoption and horrific images of suffering, and has shifted to promoting projects and infrastructure. The new school is a good start, and a step in the right direction. But what will Madonna do next? Will she continue learning and implementing projects that contribute to long term solutions? Or will she go back to the standard celebrity charity junket? (If her plea on the Huffington Post is any indication, we are heading back to "your one time donation" territory.)

As Pool says:

But if all celebrities do is talk, demand money and portray the same old Africa of war, famine, and poverty, should they really be congratulated? Shouldn't we challenging them to come with something new to say about Africa?

Madonna Launches Malawi School Construction [Reuters]
Raising Malawi: Will You Join Me? [Huffington Post]
Arise Magazine [Official Site]
The White Man's Burden [Wikipedia]

Related: The White Man's Burden [Modern History Sourcebook]
The Brown Man's Burden [Dan McDowell's History Projects]
Dead Aid [Amazon]

Related: Meet The Neo-Colonialists: Madonna And Vanity Fair [Racialicious]

[New York, October 26. Image via Bauer-Griffin]

[New York, October 19. Image via Bauer-Griffin.]

• Someone broke into Kourtney Kardashian's home on Saturday night, taking thousands of dollars worth of jewelry. Hollywood: Step up your security! [TMZ]

• As you may know, there's been a rash of burglaries involving young stars this year: Paris Hilton, Audrina Patridge, Hayden Panettiere, Lindsay Lohan and Rachel Bilson's homes have all been broken into in the last 10 months. Oh, and Orlando Bloom was burglarized, too. [People]
• Meanwhile, Kim Kardashian and Reggie Bush are back together, and things are going well: "We just made the decision that we want to make it work, and the time off was really beneficial for the both of us," KK says. "I think sometimes people need to take a break just to take time off to see how much they need each other and how much they really are compatible." [People]
• Khloe Kardashian and Lamar Odom now have a prenup. He'll keep the $33 million he makes in his 4 year contract with the Lakers. Khloe will get an annual lump sum, which will not go up or down throughout the marriage; and the two will have a joint account. Romantic! [TMZ]
• Hug your neighborhood Goth: Trent Reznor got married on Saturday. [E!]
• Beyoncé has postponed a concert in Malaysia; female performers there must be covered from shoulders to knees, with no cleavage showing. Time to rethink that "Single Ladies" leotard. [AP]
• Lindsay Lohan "shocked" people by being "in control all night" at a party. [Page Six]
• Courtney Love failed to show up in court on Thursday in a case involving Elite Maids and non-payment; the judge ruled against Courtney and she needs to write a check to the cleaning service for $3,058.48. [TMZ]
• Headline of the day: "Paris Hilton Lands Movie Role, Demands Lobsters." [Page Six]
• Stephanie Pratt was arrested for suspicion of driving under the influence early Sunday morning in Hollywood. She'd just left Holly Montag's birthday party and apparently didn't arrange for a designated driver. [TMZ]
• Stephanie Pratt was "cooperative" and there were no issues with her arrest. She was taken into custody at 3:45 am and released at 10:30 am. [People]
• Here's a picture of Stephanie partying before her DUI. What's with the tongues? [TMZ]
• Liz Taylor took Michael Jackson's three kids to a theme park on Friday. From her wheelchair, she watched the children go on rides and enjoy the Halloween Horror Nights event. [Daily Express]
• By the by, Liz Taylor saw the new Michael Jackson documentary, This Is It at a special secret screening. Word is: She loved it and thought it was "brilliant." [Showbiz 411]
• "Michael Jackson's embattled physician, Dr. Conrad Murray, is quietly trying to sell his story." [Rush & Molloy]
• Susan Boyle must have liked the makeover she got from Harper's Bazaar: She used the images from that photo shoot as cover art for her album. [WWD]
• Kelly Bensimon flashed folks at a fête: "Raising her arm to wave goodbye, the Real Housewives star 'accidentally' revealed she was 'commando.'" [Page Six]
• Expect Josh Brolin's performance in Wall Street 2 to be Donald Trump-inspired. [Page Six]
• "The octomom's doctor has been expelled from the American Society for Reproductive Medicine, the main infertility professional organization." Nadya Suleman has said that her physician, Michael Kamrava, transferred six embryos, which exceeds the ASRM's guidelines. [USA Today]
• Did you know that Jon Hamm auditioned for the role of Jack Donaghy on 30 Rock? [Reader's Digest]
• "Madonna's 'Hung Up,' in which she dances provocatively in a pink leotard, has been voted the least sexy music video of all time." [Telegraph]
• You guys, stop talking about how Jennifer Love Hewitt and Jamie Kennedy might be broken up. She says: "I'm not going to lie – it's not annoying, it's hurtful. Because he is like the most awesome person." And! "We are just trying to be really happy. It makes it hard to do that when everybody is putting negative energy out there." [ONTD]
• Guess what Susan Sarandon is going to be for Halloween? Think "Touch-a Touch-a Touch-a Touch Me"! [Page Six]
• Cameron Diaz stars in sci-fi thriller The Box, based on a 1970 short story and adapted and directed by the twisted genius behind Donny Darko, Richard Kelly. At 37, she gets asked about the quality of roles for women over 40, and says: "I'm not 40 yet and I don't know what I am going to want. I'm certainly not sitting here worrying about where I am going to be at, I am just making the most out of the life I am living as I have been doing all along." [News.com.au]
• Conan O'Brien and Newark mayor Cory Booker have ended their feud. Sort of. There's now a joke jar: jar. "Every time I made a joke about Newark… $500 would go into that joke jar," says Conan. Yet he adds: "You can rest assured that the money is safe, because the jar isn't in Newark." [NY Daily News]
• Gaga Ooh La La! New Lady Gaga song! Click to hear. [ONTD]
• Martha Stewart's deal with Kmart is dead. Long live Martha Stewart's deal with Home Depot. [NY Times]
• Nas has tax issues. [TMZ]
• Where The Wild Things Are made a monstrous $32.5 million at the box office. [AP]
• So you know how some dresses have little plastic straps inside for more stability on a hanger? And sometimes the straps pop out from under your armpits and look unsightly? Whitney Houston's dress straps broke while she was on TV. [The Sun]
• Monty Python: The Original Kings Of Gore. [Newsweek]
• Dan Aykroyd's father has a new book called A History of Ghosts: The True Story of Séances, Mediums, Ghosts and Ghostbusters; Dan has written the forward and says: "I've had to sell some really bad movies in my time, so it's great when you can get behind a good product." [USA Today]
• Someone paid $15,000 for a clump of Elvis' hair. [AP]
• Ted Danson upon meeting Dave Chappelle: "You are like a hero in my family." After the meeting: "Wow. That was cool. That was my claim to hip right there. That's my only claim to hip." [LA Times]
• Do red carpets make you nervous? Or the paparazzi? 
"Horribly nervous. The red-carpet thing is more of a problem. I had braces when I was a teenager and taught myself not to smile. I never deprogrammed myself from that. When they're shouting 'Smile!' I get nervous. You don't want to see my smile." Are you on Facebook? "I left Facebook. People contact you and they're out of your life, and I don't know why they want to come back in. It's weird." — from a Q&A with An Education's Carey Mulligan. [Newsweek]
• Def Leppard has canceled the last segment of its North American tour — 23 shows — "due to unforeseen personal matters." [USA Today]
• "When I was 11, I auditioned for the part of Joseph in Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat at school. I didn't go to an all-girls school, but the boys didn't want to do theater: the girls could then play the boys. I remember that I didn't get the part of Joseph and I was really upset. They cast me as the Pharaoh, and I remember doing an Elvis impression as the Pharaoh. I had this one moment when I realized that the Pharaoh part was actually more interesting than Joseph's. And, in some ways, that set the tone for my career. For me, it's often better to play the great character than the lead." — Samantha Morton. Click through for gorgeous photo shoot. [T Magazine]
• "He's one of the very few completely brilliant directors that I've worked with. There aren't really very many, I have to say, or it's a shame to say. To be an artist in terms of what you see and what you want to feel out of each scene, a kind of master of the technique and the technicalities of filmmaking, and a master of directing actors, which is usually the one that's missing — there are many who have no idea how to speak or to pull good work out of actors — is very rare. Roman was all those things." — Ewan McGregor on Roman Polanski, who directed The Ghost, in which Ewan stars. [LA Times]
• "The best part for me now is that I think for the first nine months mom is so essential. When they start hanging out with dad more you're like, 'Wow I feel like a dad.' You go to music class and do fun stuff together, it's cool. It makes me realize all of the little things that my dad sacrificed when he had me. It's sad it took 30 years but I totally realize it now." — Pete Wentz on fatherhood. [UPI via People]
• "When I was away [in prison], I wrote a lot of stuff, which will be released next year. I wrote a diary and songs. I got into trouble because I wrote on the wall: 'Some things are past understanding, you just need a place to land.' It was part of a lyric. I actually wrote a song about Amy [Winehouse] when I was in prison." — Boy George. [Daily Express via The Times of London]
• "I'll be honest: When I went on that morning show, I was drunk. Yes, I was on sleeping pills and I was jet-lagged, but I was also just plastered. And I never said I wasn't, but that whole Warner Bros. publicity machine got involved and said, 'Just say he was jet-lagged.' I said, 'No, tell 'em the truth! I was fucking drunk in Australia. Big deal.'" — John Stamos, in reference to his bizarre appearance on Mornings with Kerri-Ann in 2007. [Us Magazine]
• "I think I underestimated the way people bracket you. I thought I could wear what I wanted and be an actress and live my life in a certain way, and it would all be all right. I feel we live in the kind of culture now where you have to be very smart to navigate the right way, and I just don't have those smarts. I think with age and time it will change, but I can't obsess about it… This is what I have always wanted, to be on Broadway. I'm living my dream, and that's all you can ask for. At a certain point you have to ignore all the rest." — Sienna Miller, who is in After Miss Julie on Broadway. [NY Times]
• "I've had some absolutely great relationships and some not so great relationships. I've been in some relationships where I've felt terribly alone. Just because you're with someone it doesn't mean you're incredibly happy and complete. I've had some easy and natural, made-sense breakups as well as some rough ones. I deal with them the same way we all do: I'm successful with some and not so successful with others. I don't think my experiences are any different than anybody else's, they've just been amplified a little more." — George Clooney. [Mirror]
• "Parenting is something you can't delegate. Yes, you can find help with the daily things, but that doesn't release you from the guilt and anxiety and concern. Is there ever a time when putting your needs ahead of your children's is acceptable? That is the overarching question." — Uma Thurman, on new film Motherhood. [NY Times]
• "Losing my mother was very traumatic. I don't know if I'll ever get over it. And now I'm older than my mom was when she died, which is pretty strange. She died when she was 35. [I lived with my father after that], he was a salesman and only in his early 60s when he died [of complications from diabetes]. I was 20. I miss him every day. He had a wild streak. He was funny, larger than life, and sad. He's probably in my performance more than I know. I started acting in grade school and kept returning to it in high school and college. Theater departments are usually a big collection of orphans and screwups-sort of lost tribes-and I found kinship there. When I started thinking about what to do with the rest of my life, acting was the only thing I kept coming back to." — Jon Hamm. [Reader's Digest]
• "When I look at digital, the dark side of it for me is the physicality that's being presented alongside the Internet. I think about that movie The Matrix, and about these bodies that are human batteries that support computers. I met this guy who was creating software where you could watch Mad Men and you could chat with your friend while you're watching it, and things would pop up, and facts would pop up, and I said, 'You're a human battery. Turn the fucking thing off! You're not allowed to watch the show anymore. You're missing the idea of sitting in a dark place and having an experience. Are you just like sitting with your phone and you're kissing your girlfriend and saying, "I'm kissing my girlfriend! This is so great, we're having sex!'" EXPERIENCE THINGS!" — Matthew Weiner, creator of Mad Men, at the New Yorker Festival [NY Magazine]

[New York, October 10. Image via INFDaily.]

• Kate Gosselin's lawyer, Mark Momjian, claims that Jon Gosselin is earning money outside of the family's TLC show and that Kate is entitled to a piece of it, especially after Jon drained the couple's joint bank account. [Radar]

• "We can't specifically verify whether he is getting paid but we think he is. The only person that can answer that is Jon Gosselin. We suspect he is though," Momjian says, "He was on TV [Inside Edition] saying he's always making money and that he has money. For that, we take him at his word!" [Radar]
• Meanwhile, Jon Gosselin's lawyer, Mark Heller, a lawyer from New York who can only practice law in Pennsylvania if an in-state lawyer sponsors him, as just had his sponsorship withdrawn, which means Jon might be lawyerless for the moment. Did I mention that Jon's lawyer was also suspended from practicing law in NY for 5 years "for a variety of misdeeds?" Is this real life? Seriously? Could you cast this thing any better/worse? [TMZ]
• Amy Winehouse has reportedly received breast implants in preparation for her "comeback" appearance on the British television show Strictly Come Dancing. [Mirror]
• Ben Affleck and Matt Damon are more than just friends; they're actually distant cousins, descended from "a bricklayer who came to the U.S. from England in the 1630s and settled in Ipswich." [USAToday]
• Ellen DeGeneres has been preparing for her new stint as an American Idol judge by watching past seasons on DVD. "Ellen and Portia have been watching old seasons on DVD to see how the judges interact with contestants and audience," says a source. [ShowbizSpy]
• Megan Fox's dog was diagnosed with pneumonia, but is on antibiotics and is recovering. [TMZ]
• In other celebrity dog news, Brooke Burns' lost dog was "found by Brooke's groomer's client's neighbor." It's a long story. [TMZ]
• And in even more puppy news, Michael Jackson's children were so moved by the sight of a two-legged dog they saw on television that they decided to raise funds for the pup in order to buy it prosthetic legs. [TMZ]
• "I remember having to make conversation with Michael Jackson. That had to be one of the freakiest moments of my life . . . he wasn't quite the figure he's become today, but still, I remember even then, staring at his nose, and it was all about, 'Don't Stare at His Nose.'"- Hank Azaria, on working with Michael Jackson on The Simpsons. [PageSix]
• Michael Jackson's high school yearbook shows that he was voted "Best Dressed," "Most Creative," and "Shyest." [ONTD]
• Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart are reportedly "dreading" the upcoming New Moon promotional blitz they'll both have to go on soon: "Rob and Kristen love the acting; but they hate everything else - the publicity and hype - that goes with the Twilight franchise," says a source. [ShowbizSpy]
• "I could be the most boring mentor since Mariah Carey. God bless her, she's ace. But all she said was, 'That's great. God bless you'."-Robbie Williams on his upcoming guest spot on The X Factor. [TheSun]
• "I think the reason I write about love so much is because I have no idea what is going on with love. It's unpredictable and I haven't figured it out yet."- Taylor Swift [ShowbizSpy]
• Billy Mays' son, Billy Mays II, says he was proud of his late father's "appearance" as a ghost on the season premiere of South Park. [TMZ]
• Alicia Keys is designing her own line of handmade jewelry, called "The Barber's Creations." Each piece comes with an "engraved with a message of hope." [DailyExpress]
• Oh, lord: the wives and girlfriends of all Yankee players have been banned from talking shit about Kate Hudson after Derek Jeter's girlfriend, Minka Kelly's "coldness" toward Hudson was revealed on Page Six. "The Yankees told the girls to be careful who they spoke to about Kate," says a source, "They are concerned about the ramifications for the players." [PageSix]
• Marvel is currently in talks to produce a Spider-Man spin-off film, centered around Spidey's nemesis, Venom. Topher Grace, who played Venom in 2007's Spider-Man 3, is not expected to play the lead in the spin-off. [DailyExpress]
• "I could see myself working with [director Frank Miller] again but, I don't know. Graphic novels are things that I wouldn't do a lot of, so I would have to really choose carefully before I did. At one point, he talked to me about one of the Sin City [films], and we discussed that. There's a kind of cool character I think in the third one, but it was all very kind of soft talk."- Gerard Butler[JustJared]
• Katy Perry and Russell Brand are apparently getting serious, as Perry told her fans via Twitter that she wasn't posting as often because she'd fallen "in a love K-hole." [TheSun]
• It's weird. I watched a bunch of movies from the 70s with my girlfriend recently and I felt so sort of sweet after each movie. And it was like, 'What is that?', and she said, 'None of the movies were snarky.' The absence of snark was such a delightful change. So, I don't know, I'm a fan of non-snarky things."- Demetri Martin [Guardian]
• Gene Simmons says the only way to survive in rock for over 40 years is to avoid alcohol and drugs: "The only way to do it is no booze, no drugs . . . If you are not clean, you don't belong up there. I've never been drunk or high in my life. The only way to survive the long haul is to be straight-nosed. I've been here for four decades." He recommends sex as an alternative, btw. [PageSix]
• Blues musician Abu Talib, perhaps better known as Freddy Robinson has died at the age of 70. [Yahoo]
• Britney Spears' former boyfriend, Adnan Ghalib, has pleaded "no contest" to leaving the scene of an accident after hitting a man; the man was attempting to serve Ghalib with a restraining order, and apparently jumped on the hood of Ghalib's car to stop him, but Ghalib kept driving. [NYTimes]
• Los Angeles prosecutors wrote a letter to the California Second District Court of Appeal, asking that Roman Polanski's request for an appeal, filed before his recent arrest, be denied, as "the issues he presented no longer apply." [Yahoo]
• Nicolas Cage allegedly owes 6.3 million dollars in back taxes. [People]
• Blind Item: "Warner Brothers studio almost fired which young actor after he lost lots of weight and was therefore totally unsuitable for his role in a film series? A compromise was reached when they got him some prosthetics." [BlindGossip]
• "What's left to wish for? A number one album would be good. And to have a movie made of the book, maybe with Johnny Depp playing me - I'd like that. But, really, I'd like to go back in time and make better choices. Still, I know now that there is no such place as Utopia. Even if I do make it to heaven, you can bet your life the toilet will stink."-Ozzy Osbourne [ShowbizSpy]
• And finally, good morning! Here's a picture of Paris Hilton, kissing a chimpanzee. [DailyMail]

[Image via INFDaily.]

• Radar Online reports that Heidi Klum gave birth to her fourth child, a daughter named Lou Samuel, early this morning. Us however, insists it isn't true, but labor is imminent. This shouldn't be so complicated, people. [Radar Online, Us]

• Last night on Models of the Runway, while the models were lined up and waiting to be eliminated, one of them farted. Tara Egan said, "The tension got broken a little bit on the runway because, I'm not gonna name names, but I think someone had a couple of, uh, gastrointestinal problems while we were on the runway." Heidi Klum said, "What happened? Someone farted? It wasn't me. Who's not laughing over there?" Celine Chua took responsibility explaining, "I'm a great farter." [E!]
• VIDEO: Mickey Rourke explains that when he uses the word f-word it has "nothing to do with gay," by making a weird football analogy and repeating the word about a dozen times. [TMZ]
• The president of GLAAD has issued a statement saying: "This is a slur that, regardless of what Mickey Rourke has convinced himself that it means, is often the last word that gay people and gay youth in particular, hear before they're bullied, harassed or assaulted. Rourke is showing himself to be painfully ignorant of how this vulgar, abusive slur feeds a climate of anti-gay hatred, intolerance and violence." [TMZ]
• John Legend says while other stars have come out in support of Roman Polanski, "I'm in support of justice. I don't get why everyone's defending his actions." And shook his head in disgust. Previously Legend Tweeted: "A man in his 30's cannot have 'consensual' sex with a 13-year-old. It is legally impossible for a child to give consent. It's rape." [Radar Online]
• A source says the Gosselin kids are, "confused and distraught and are acting out all the time in an effort to get attention from their parents." [Us]
• Kate Gosselin has filed for alimony from Jon Gosselin. [The Insider]
• BREAKING: Jon Gosselin bought his girlfriend Hailey Glassman a few drinks at a New York pub. [TMZ]
• David Hasselhoff was drinking at Simon Cowell's birthday party this past weekend. [TMZ]
• Hasselhoff was hospitalized for two days in London after a drunken bender that ended with him allegedly punching a doctor. [TMZ]
• A day after Miley Cyrus deleted her Twitter account, her dad Billy Ray Cyrus Tweeted: "I understand 'it is true one bad apple spoils the bunch.' But listen to the words of your songs 'Stand… for what ya believe in'…Remember? ... Miley. You are a light in a world of darkness. You were born"Destiny Hope Cyrus" for a reason.You can't leave everyone now.We r countin on u." [Perez Hilton]
• Rod Blagojevich will appear on The Celebrity Apprentice. [USA Today]
• A police officer testified in the John Travolta extortion trial that Pleasant Bridgewater destroyed the form with his signature when she "noticed the situation was about to explode." [The Mirror]
• Tori Spelling Tweeted about the Star magazine cover that claims she's wasting away at 95 lbs, "LIES! ... Literally not 1 factual thing in entire article. And, come 2 my house & weigh me Star! I'm 107 lbs." [People]
• Solja Boy was arrested in Georgia on Wednesday night after allegedly running from a police officer. Police say he was among a group of about 40 people hanging out in the yard of an abandoned house. [TMZ]
• Method Man was arrested for allegedly failing to pay taxes for four years but he says, "everything will be resolved. Trust me, it's a misunderstanding." [TMZ]
• The Duggar's first grandchild, Mackynzie Renée Duggar, was born at the home of her parents Joshua and Anna. They say they haven't committed to all of their children having "M" names, like Mackynzie's 18 aunts and uncles (and one on the way) who all have "J" names. [People]
• Usher recently called the cops on his soon-to-be-ex wife Tameka Raymond because he claims she snuck onto his property and stole one of his cars. Police determined there was no evidence to substantiate his claim. [TMZ]
• Audrina Patridge broke up with BMX racer Corey Bohan and was spotted on a date with Derek White, Justin Bobby's BFF. [Star]
• Paris Hilton has ordered a $4,500 miniature pig from a breeder. She will be delivered in about a month and named "Princess Pigelette." [TMZ]
• Marlon Jackson addressed the Australian TV blackface controversy on behalf of his family, saying, "Man, if they turned up looking like that in the United States ... They probably weren't trying to be offensive or anything of that nature with the family. We thank Harry Connick Jr. for speaking out, but we also understand that they weren't trying to be disrespectful to us." [News.com.au]
• Robin Givens, who was abused by Mike Tyson, says she can relate to what Rihanna's going through now. "You do need time to figure your life out," she says. "I do feel that if she speaks out about it people will listen to her. But she is young and I can imagine the pain and the confusion she is going through." [People]
• On an episode of Oprah that airs Monday, Mike Tyson says he's still unclear on the details about the death of his 4-year-old daughter Exodus in May, "Because if I know, then there might be a blame for it... And if there's somebody to blame for it, there will be a problem." She was found by her 7-year-old brother tangled in a cord dangling from a treadmill. [People]
• Cherry Jones and her longtime girlfriend Sarah Paulson have split up. Jones said she and Paulson are "great. It's the happiest break up that's ever been. We grew so much together and now we can send each other off with a kiss and great love." [Us]
• Daniel Radcliffe has been cast in a reading of How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying in New York. [Variety]
• Check out Hilary Swank on the cover of Town & Country: [ONTD]
• Sean Connery's doctors told him to give up alcohol after diagnosing him with a heart condition but he says, "I do drink red wine because of my friend David Murray, who owns two French wine estates. He showed me the evidence that it was good for the health. I favour Merlots from Chile for their value and I keep a good deal of California wine in my cellar. I have one that cost me $2,000 for two cases, which I think is rather steep." [Daily Express]
• Eight TV variety specials Ann-Margret did decades ago are being edited into a new one-hour documentary. [The Village Voice]
• In her new book Finding It, Valerie Bertinelli says that she used to be a binge eater but she's learned to satisfy herself with hiking, spending time with her family and boyfriend, and exploring her new relationship with God. "I was still hungry - as hungry as I had ever been," Bertinelli writes. "It was a different kind of hunger, though: one that I couldn't satisfy with food, and had no desire to." [AP]
• Matt Damon wrote an article in Parade about the importance of ensuring children have clean water around the world. He says: "I co-founded Water.org, which focuses on water and sanitation. I was in Ethiopia earlier this year, and I watched children taking filthy water out of a hand-dug well and putting it in bottles to take to school. The water was so dirty, it looked like chocolate milk. I wanted to knock it out of their hands and say, "Don't drink that-it could kill you." The dilemma is that drinking nothing at all will kill them even faster. Parents in these impoverished areas lose children every year to diseases that could be completely prevented if they had access to clean water." [Parade]
• Vince Vaughn says he proposed to Kyla Weber earlier this year on a certain romantic day because, "Valentine's Day rolled around and I figured this is not a ship to be missed ... [It] worked out great because it would have been kind of weird to have talked about [getting engaged] and then skipped Valentine's Day as if who knows when this thing is coming." [People]
• Vaughn says of the character he plays in Couples Retreat not being tempted to cheat, "It was kind of nice to make a movie where it was like 'We made a commitment. We're in this 'cause we said we wanted to be, and we have people counting on us. You know what? We believe in this and it's worth it to us, and I love you.'" [CNN]
• Harmony Korine explains how he got the idea for his new film Trash Humpers: "I would walk my dog at night back behind the alleyways in the neighborhood where I live in Nashville. And sometimes I would see these trash bins propped up against garages or lying on the ground. These overhead lights would be shining on them, giving them a real dramatic effect. The trash bins began to resemble human forms to me - almost like a war zone where the trash bins had been molested and beaten up and stuff. Sometimes, the way they were propped, they looked very humpable. Then I remembered that in my neighborhood growing up, there were these elderly peeping toms who would stare into my neighbor's window. They lived in an old person's home down the road, and they would come out at night. And I just put these ideas together." [N.Y. Magazine]
• Terry Gilliam, who worked with Heath Ledger on The Brothers Grimm and the upcoming Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus says, "I loved working with Heath on Brothers Grimm, he was fantastic. He went through an interesting time after Brokeback Mountain because he was so inundated with the big time. I would ask him about certain roles and he would say yes, and then no, so I learnt not to put any pressure on him because everyone else was. I didn't actually ask him about this one, I waited until he asked me." [The Telegraph]
• Pete Yorn says he asked Scarlett Johansson to record a duets album even though he didn't know if she could sing. "I figured, you know, most actors are multitalented. They've got to be able to do a lot of things and they probably have some ability to sing," he said. [CBS News]

[New York, October 5. Image via Bauer-Griffin.]

• Miley Cyrus will indeed be in Sex And The City 2:

The teen queen will have a scene with Kim Cattrall: Samantha Jones wants to look "hot and young" and winds up on the red carpet with Miley — wearing the same dress. Hilarious? [NY Daily News]

• Rumors that Johnny Depp will be replaced in the next Pirates of The Caribbean movie: "Completely unfounded," says a Disney spokesperson. [Mirror]
• Just yesterday, Jon Gosselin's girlfriend Hailey Glassman was on the Gosselin family website. Today? She's been deleted. [RadarOnline]
• Khloe Kardashian and Lamar Odom's wedding: A circus. A guest says: There were so many helicopters overhead, you couldn't hear the vows." Ok! magazine made a $250,000 deal for "exclusive" wedding pix, so when paparazzi pictures of the bride popped up on Sunday, the mag had to spend $50,000 on the shots to keep them off the market. As you may know, E! paid for the wedding, after insisting that it be held immediately so it could be on the season premiere of Keeping Up With The Kardashians. [Page Six]
• Ryan Seacrest is thinking about doing a reality show focusing on Khloe and Lamar as newlyweds. It worked out so well for Nick and Jessica! [NY Daily News]
• In other Kardashian news, Kim Kardashian is back together with Reggie Bush. Professional athletes for everyone! [NY Daily News]
• A second suspect in the Lindsay Lohan burglary has turned herself in. [NY Daily News]
• Should Kanye West go to rehab as an apology for his MTV VMA incident? Columnist Courtney Hazlett says "no, no, no." [MSNBC Scoop]
• Speaking of rehab: Amy Winehouse met a "faith healer" named Peter Hippolyte when she was in St. Lucia, and she's planning on flying him to England to help her stay off drugs and booze. Hippolyte says: "We will say prayers together and she will drink bush tea with antioxidants." [Daily Mail]
• Video: Amy Winehouse rapping. Sorta. [The Sun]
• "The timing of Roman Polanski's arrest in Switzerland on Sunday on a 31-year-old rape conviction couldn't have been better for Brett Ratner." Hours before Polanski was arrested, Ratner announced he'll be producing a sequel to Marina Zenovich's 2008 documentary, Roman Polanski: Wanted and Desired. [Page Six]
• Mariah Carey says Precious director Lee Daniels helped her shed some insecurities — he made her arrive to the set without any makeup, and forced her to leave the diva act at home. "That was such a freeing experience for me… By making me look so bad he brought out the ability to never be self-conscious again, and that was a gift that he gave me." On the rumors that Mariah and Nick Cannon are trying to get pregnant, she says: "Well, we enjoy practicing." [AP]
• Jon Hamm and Elisabeth Moss are on the October cover of LA Confidential, and inside Jon says: "The [show] is not meant to be on while you're doing dishes, it's meant to be enjoyed and savored and focused on, and it rewards that attention…" [JustJared]
• At Teen Vogue's 7th annual Young Hollywood party, Kelly Osbourne was overheard telling a friend that she was "shocked" how short the skirts of the young party girls were. [Page Six]
• Randy and Evi Quaid are called "Hollywood's Nightmare Couple" in this extensive piece. Evi allegedly self-medicated with Demerol three times a day, snorting it so it would go right to her brain to cure her migraines. A source says: "She also … believed [Michael] Jackson was murdered along with Heath Ledger, Chris Penn, David Carradine, Natasha Richardson, and other stars who (had been) in movies with Randy." The paranoia that someone was out to get them, and that they weren't safe anywhere, lead to a string of unpaid hotel bills. [The Daily Beast]
• "The enormous sign Evi Quaid made last week — which accused her arresting officer of taking bribes — somehow caught fire this weekend…" [TMZ]
• Emma Watson was "shaken" at the Harvard/Brown football game when security guards had to protect her from gawkers. [Page Six]
• Mel Gibson is asking a judge to remove his 2006 DUI from his record, now that he has completed the terms of his 3-year probation. [TMZ]
• Sarah Ferguson, the Duchess of York, has announced that a major US film company has bought the rights to her series of children's books. She says: "The films will run as a series… America has been so good to me. I failed in Britain, and when I gave it a go in America I was ready to fail there, too — but they have really embraced me." [Daily Mail]
• Emmy Rossum, who kept her marriage a secret all year, will be officially divorced in about 180 days. Court documents reveal that she married record label exec Justin Siegel in February, and that he wants Emmy to pay his legal expenses for the divorce and give him spousal support. He's all, "That's all I ask… of youuuuuu." [E!]
• Emmy is currently dating Sideshow Bob Adam Duritz. [People]
• American Idol castoff Adam "Glambert" Lambert's CD is available for pre-order on Amazon, and is currently number 2 — ahead of Madonna and the Beatles. [NY Post]
• Darrell Hammond's name is missing from the opening credits of Saturday Night Live, and a source says: "He's interested in pursuing acting more, but he's loyal to Lorne Michaels, and Lorne will always have a place for him on SNL for as long as Darrell is willing to come back." [MSNBC Scoop]
• Barbra Streisand's new CD is nostalgic, though the recording process was not: "For the first time, she worked with jazz artist Diana Krall as producer, and did it Krall's way. She performed with Krall's quartet of musicians first, then added orchestration later, instead of her usual practice of performing with an orchestra at the outset." [AP]
• Malaysia has banned Bruno because of the gay sex scenes. According to this column, "Gay sex, or 'carnal intercourse against the order of nature,' is punishable by up to 20 years in jail and whipping in Malaysia." Their views on homosexuality suck, but as far as the film goes, they're not missing anything. [Mirror]
• Mary-Louise Parker, 45, is dating musician Charlie Mars, 35. [NY Daily News]
• Jaime Pressley and new hubby Simran Singh got into a huge fight on their wedding night, maybe because Jaime had too much to drink. [Radar Online]
• "The Inside Scoop on Starting in TV" is the story of how Lara Spencer got her start. [WSJ]
• Jon Cryer and his wife, Lisa Joyner, have adopted a baby girl. [People]
• 90210 2.0's AnnaLynne McCord actually wants to be on the cover of Cosmo. [Page Six]
• "A former aide to Danielle Steel is facing time in federal prison after admitting she stole hundreds of thousands of dollars from the romance novelist." [AP]
• Al Sharpton and actress LisaRaye: It's on. [TheYBF]
• Police officials now have the hard drive found with Ryan Jenkins when he was discovered dead in a hotel room back in August. There was no suicide note, so cops are hoping the computer will shed light on the murder of Jasmine Fiore. [TMZ]
• Whatshisname does not have an eating disorder. [The Sun]
• "In terms of the stress there's just no comparison. For me, at least, writing a novel is a great pleasure. There is stress but it's a different kind of stress: more mental than physical. In a film you're working nights and 16-hour days. Here I am saying poor me, when I've been paid pretty well for that work, but it's a fact. It doesn't matter how much you're being paid. At my age I just feel I don't want to do that any longer. So, the writing is really a godsend." — Gene Hackman, who has quit acting for writing, He and Daniel Lenihan have written three works of fiction, and their latest, Escape From Andersonville, is a Civil War adventure. [The Daily Beast]
• "I am enrolling in Berklee College in Boston to get my bachelor's degree in music! That's how important education is to me. I plan to work with Rev. Al Sharpton because that's how important stressing the importance of education to children is to me." — Wyclef Jean. [BV Buzz]
• "I wasn't nervous because I'd got my body and mind into shape for it. My aim is to become an iconic sex symbol and the Playboy shoot is the first step. I wanted to be toned and curvaceous with a nice butt–I didn't want to lose weight and look skinny." — Heidi Montag on her Playboy shoot. She also says: "I'm a C cup but I want to upgrade to a DD cup. I have a curvy butt now and bigger boobs will enhance my shape." [Prz]
• "Seriously, I feel exactly the same now turning 50 as I did when I was 40 or 30. I am enjoying myself. I happen to think that I am just extraordinarily lucky. I am doing something that I am passionate about and that I enjoy doing. There are a couple of charities I am involved with that would appreciate a donation. But please, no presents from anyone." — Simon Cowell turns 50 tomorrow and will throw a big party this weekend. [Telegraph]
• "We're having Gore Vidal on. Larry David is booked. Those two are favorites of mine. And the usual suspects: Ann Coulter. Susie [Essman] will be on. Barbara [Walters] might be on the first week because she's the queen. Alec Baldwin- I can't get him on the phone. I saw him recently at a U.N. function. He's the funniest. He trusts me because I'm not out to get him. I'm not. Last time I interviewed him, his daughter was there and they were really close." — Joy Behar on her new HLN show, which starts tonight at 9pm. [USA Today]
• "She speaks like this weird white-person ebonics. She has this weird language. She doesn't technically read. But it's OK; she doesn't have to." — Kathy Griffin on Paris Hilton. [Page Six]
• "Come on over and see me after you finish." — Ellen Barkin to Matt Damon. [Page Six]
• "With ratings falling, this might be the last season of Jon & Kate Plus 8. I'm not sure yet." — Kate Gosselin, on her Facebook page. [NY Post]

• Someone's been arrested in the Lindsay Lohan home burglary case — and it's not Lindsay Lohan!

Nicholas Prugo, 18, was arrested Thursday in connection with two break-ins: Lindsay's house and Audrina Patridge's house. Dina Lohan says: "Yes, we have found him, God is good." Man, we were sold on that In Touch story alleging that Lindsay robbed herself. [People, TMZ, TMZ]

• Lisa Ling will return to The View as a guest host on October 5. [ONTD]
• Elton John, who was branded "unsuitable" to adopt a Ukranian toddler because he's gay and old, may be able to be the kid's "guardian," which means the mother retains parental rights. The child is not an orphan, though he lives in a children's home; his brother lives there, too. [Daily Mail]
• Michael Jackson's family thinks the This Is It movie is propaganda, to back AEG's claims that he was fit and healthy and ready to tour. [Page Six]
• Sad face: They're calling off the search for Jessica Simpson's dog, last seen in the jaws of a coyote. [TMZ]
• Halle Berry: Not pregnant, just full of burgers. [People]
• Although how Halle Berry could be full of burgers and get in to that dress is a mystery wrapped in an enigma, with special sauce, lettuce and cheese. [Daily Mail]
• BREAKING: Amy Winehouse had a lovely evening out with a "mystery man." [The Star, Mirror]
• Mystery solved: The dude Amy Winehouse was with is former flame Tyler James. A fan asked her for a kiss and she said, "Sorry, I'm with my boyfriend." [Daily Mail]
• While Chris Brown is doing his community service, he has three off-duty cops watching over him as a security team. [TMZ]
• Jennifer Garner is a prankster on movie sets. [Gatecrasher]
• Jennifer Lopez wore a dress by Victoria Beckham to the White House and it was… fitted. [Daily Mail]
• Avril Lavigne's marriage is really over. She posted a message on her blog which reads: "Deryck and I have been together for 6 and a half years. We have been friends since I was 17, started dating when I was 19, and married when I was 21. I am grateful for our time together… I admire Deryck and have a great amount of respect for him. Deryck and I are separating and moving forward on a positive note." [TMZ]
• Kanye West has been invited to the next Friars Club roast. [Page Six]
• Kanye West has been nominated for 9 BET awards. Will he show up? [NY Daily News]
• Kate Gosselin will be shooting the pilot for her new TV show with Paula Deen this weekend. The idea is to have several hosts, like The View, and comedian Sandra Bernhard and Tammy Lynn Michaels have both been considered for the job. [Radar]
• Paula Abdul told a radio DJ that she's going to be producing a show in Las Vegas and is also working on a project with the Laker Girls. [Eva Amurri, strip down for Californication, by all means, click the link. [Daily Mail]
• Samantha Burke, the lady impregnated by Jude Law, is possibly getting £120,000 from a magazine for pictures when the baby is born. [ Daily Mail]
• Someone showed the nuns at Sacred Heart girls school in New York video of Lady Gaga on stage bleeding; she is an alumna of the school. The nuns were not amused. [Page Six]
• Khloe Kardashian and NBA star Lamar Odom: Getting married. They've been "talking about rings." [E!]
• Is Anna Kournikova pregnant? Rumor has it she's carrying the spawn of Enrique Iglesias. [Gatecrasher]
• Ivanka Trump is keeping it classy and not selling wedding pictures, just releasing a single one. [Page Six]
• A man has been arrested for assaulting a security guard who tried to stop him from getting in a car with Ryan Seacrest. [AP]
• Clint Eastwood and Matt Damon just worked together on Invictus, and they will team up again for Hereafter, a thriller from Peter Morgan, who wrote Frost/Nixon and The Queen. [The Hollywood Reporter]
• A journalist asked Spike Lee if Do The Right Thing would get made today. "It would be very hard to make a film like this today," Lee said. "Not because the subject is irrelevant. I don't think the studios would do this. I have to thank Tom Pollock who was running Universal Pictures at the time. He put the weight of the studio behind me for this film and supported me, even when people wanted to waver and divorce themselves from the film." [Independent]
• "Of The Infernal Comedy: Confessions of a Serial Killer, the opera about the prostitute-mauling Jack Unterweger, that opened this year in Vienna and will tour in Europe and Canada next summer, John Malkovich says: 'It's actually a comedy.'" [The Daily Beast]
• Anna Nicole Smith is no longer with us, but she owes the State of California $43,280.66 in back taxes. [TMZ]
• The battle at the box office this weekend will be family-friendly Cloudy With A Chance Of Meatballs versus horror send-up Jennifer's Body versus the crappy-looking Love Happens with Jennifer Aniston and Aaron Eckhart. Odds are, Meatballs will win. [MSNBC Scoop]
• Joe Perry is pissed that Aerosmith had to cancel their summer tour because of Steven Tyler's injuries. "I haven't talked to him in over five weeks. I don't know what's going on with him," Perry says. "All I know is he's got to get his act together. I mean, he and I haven't written a song together alone in the same room in over ten years, so there's been some changes in paradigm of what Aerosmith is." [AP]
• The director of The Cove, an award-winning documentary about Japan's dolphin slaughter, plans to attend a screening at the Tokyo film festival even though he could be arrested. [AP]
• "Miley Cyrus, Kelly Clarkson, Jordin Sparks lack power to carry 'Divas' label at VH1 concert… No matter the age, it seems, all one needs to be a diva in the land of VH1 is to miss a Y chromosome." [NY Daily News]
• RIP Guiding Light. [NY Post]
• Katie "Jordan" Price has been questioned by cops over her claims that she was raped by a celebrity. [Daily Mail, The Sun, The Sun ]
• Blind items! "With their partners away, celebs have been using Fashion Week as an opportunity to play! Which two pop stars made sweet music on Sunday night after the gal gave the guy a private lap dance? Hope his longtime girlfriend doesn't find out ... Which supermodel mended her recently broken heart over the weekend with the very-engaged bassist of a hot rock band?" [Gatecrasher]
• Q: When you auditioned for The Late Late Show, the producers told you that they loved the way you actually held conversations with the guests. A: "Yeah, apparently no one does that anymore. Instead, publicists work out what we'll say and who's gonna ask what. I'll ask you, 'Oh you bought a house?' And you say, 'Yeah I just moved and I got a dog.' And I'll say 'Tell me about the dog, is it named Spunky?' And you'll say 'Yeah, Spunky!' I don't do that." — Craig Ferguson. [Time]
• "It's pretty sad. She should have watched it more closely, though. She should have been more careful." — Martha Stewart, on Jessica Simpson's coyote-snatched dog. [Page Six]
• "Have you been in a Kmart lately? It is not the nicest place to shop." — Martha Stewart, whose products were sold at Kmart but will now be at Macy's and Home Depot. [ONTD via Daily Finance]
• "They took a beautiful man and put poison in his body. Why couldn't they have built him up nutritionally and got ten rid of the toxins? …I hate to be this controversial … but I have to speak out." — Suzanne Somers on Patrick Swayze. [Page Six]
• "I think that the music itself is very, very fun for the most part. I have a few more ballady, emotional songs. But lyrically, it's a little more docile - the music is very fun. I guess it's dance music - it's electro-driven but it's still soft." — Leighton Meester, on her new album. [ONTD]
• "When I read the pilot script, I thought, 'What a fun part this would be to play. How fun would this be?' But then all of these people said, 'It's perfect! You're perfect for it!' [My character] Jeff is a liar and a jerk. What am I supposed to say to that? 'Yeah, I guess so! Awesome!' It really makes me go, 'Wait, what do you mean?'" — Joel McHale on new show Community. [LA Times]
• "It's really, really awkward - any time you do a kissing scene or a love scene it's awkward but especially with this one. Neither one of us wanted to do it and we were both terrified but when you do scenes like that it's not at all sensual or sexy. You're in a room and it's full of these middle-aged crew guys who are like eating their sunflower seeds waiting for you to get it right so they can go home to their kids. They just don't want to be there." — Megan Fox on her kiss with Amanda Seyfried in Jennifer's Body. [Mirror]
• "The Office is not one of those things you move away from. I don't want it to go away." — John Krasinski. [Guardian]

• Lindsay Lohan thew a fit at the G-Star runway show:

She arrived with sister Ali in tow, wouldn't pose for photos and didn't like her seats. So, naturally, she threw the seating cards for Juliette Lewis, Christian Siriano, and Taylor Momsen on the floor. When event producers tried to approach her, she sniped, "Don't fucking touch me," and rolled her eyes. Of course, I found pix of her posing so grain of salt. [Page Six]

• Mischa Barton was at the G-star after party, drunk and saying "Like, I'm with the deejay. I totally know the deejay. I'm here for the deejay." [Page Six]
• Kanye West and Lady Gaga were supposed to start a Fame Kills tour later this fall, but it looks like Kanye may have been serious about taking some time off: Tour date listings have been removed from the Ticketmaster website. [LA Times]
• Pink has a separated shoulder! "It hurts," she says. She couldn't do any of the aerial parts of her trapeze-oriented show in Seattle on Tuesday night, but won't cancel tour dates. [People]
• Katie Holmes took Suri to Beyoncé's concert in Australia on Tuesday night, and Suri wore "industrial earmuffs." [News.com.au]
• Jennifer Lopez was spotted at the White House "with an entourage bigger than President Obama's Secret Service detail." [NY Daily News]
• Chris Brown's community service has begun; click for a pic of him in an orange vest. He doesn't seem too… contrite; he Tweeted, "check out my outfit." [Ny Daily News]
• Why haven't we seen Mo'Nique promoting new film Precious? She will be on the Today show this morning, but she wasn't at the Toronto Film festival (Mariah Carey, Gabby Sidibe, Sherri Shephard, and Paula Patton were there) and rumors are that she wants to be paid for appearances. A studio spokesperson says it isn't true. [Showbiz 411]
• Charlize Threron is naked in the opening scene of her new film, The Burning Plain but says: "I'm not some exhibitionist. I think people think I just love walking around naked. When you start making it about yourself, you stand in the way of doing your job. I have to sit in an editing room with [director] Guillermo Arriaga and a bunch of execs, and if I had to sit there and think about myself and these men watching me, I think that would make me insecure. I'm just like every other girl out there. I would cringe." And: "There was a time in my life where I understood actors who said they don't like watching themselves. But when I made the mental switch that I was not watching myself and watching an actual character, that was the day I actually could look at things from a distance." [USA Today]
• "The uncle Desperate Housewives star Teri Hatcher helped put behind bars for molesting two girls has died in prison." [Daily Express]
• Sean Penn and beyond foxy Sports Illustrated model Jessica White: "Together all the time." [NY Daily News]
• Jason Schwartzman's new HBO show, Bored To Death, his most high-profile roles ever. Although he also loves books and music, acting gives him focus: "When I all of sudden became a part of Rushmore, it was like a giant acupuncture needle or something. It just put everything in line for me. It was like going to the emotional chiropractor. I was so disjointed as a teenager, from being unpopular or from being not the guy that girls liked - just feeling like an outsider, just being a dork." [AP]
• Nicole Kidman will star in The Danish Girl, about the first man to undergo a sex-change operation in 1931. I know it's early but I have to say that I'm sort of scared about the medical technology back then and its proximity to genitalia. [NY Daily News]
• Bruce Willis and wife: Moving into L.A.'s new Carlyle Residences, where apartments go for $2.9-$15 million. The new pad has a private wine cellar and elevator. [E!]
• Rod Stewart's son Sean was a riding in a $200,000 Bentley on Sunset Boulevard in L.A. when his friend wrecked the car. Sean was renting it from Beverly Hills Rent-A-Car for $2,500 a day. [TMZ]
• Jasmine Guy: Deep in debt, thanks to a divorce. In related news, she has joined the cast of the new CW show Vampire Diaries as the GRANDMOTHER of one of the characters. A different world, indeed. [TMZ, Buddy TV]
• Director Jane Campion got an admiring letter from Quentin Tarantino about her latest effort, Bright Star. "It was a love letter, really, about the film," she says. "I am really touched. He is one of my biggest heroes of the current generation, I think he is a genius so it was surprising." Asked about what it takes to make movies likes hers, Campion said with a smile: "I am not very submissive." [Reuters]
• Joe Francis tried to crash a party being thrown by Frankie Delgado but was thrown out, mostly because Frankie is bff with Brody Jenner and Brody and Joe had a scuffle a couple of weeks ago. Related: I don't care about any of these people. [E!]
• "Fuming Barbra Streisand fans claim she rigged a 'cute pet competition.' so one of her friends could win priceless tickets to her upcoming Village Vanguard show." [Page Six]
• Burt Reynolds, who just went into rehab, is already out, it seems. [Reuters, Mirror]
• Jon Bon Jovi totally understands why former members of Nirvana are upset about Kurt Cobain's character in Guitar Hero 5 being able to play songs by other bands in the game. "I don't know that I would have wanted it either. To hear someone else's voice coming out of a cartoon version of me? I don't know. It sounds a little forced." [BBC News]
• "Paul McCartney topped a poll of Americans' favorite Beatles, but nearly a quarter of those surveyed said they didn't like the British rock group." [Reuters]
• Katie "Jordan" Price named her celebrity rapist on camera but "terrified" lawyers banned his identity from being broadcast. [The Sun]
• Q. After you dropped out of school at 16, you were a drummer in a punk rock band. What was that like? "It was a wild time. It involved a lot of drinking and fighting, but I'm not sure if I was being a punk rocker or just Scottish." — Craig Ferguson. [USA Today]
• "She looked like Rachel Zoe gone horribly wrong! It proves the point that you can judge a person by the company they keep- or don't keep. "It's painfully apparent that Jesus may be able to turn water into wine, but your basic blow dryer eludes him." — Madonna's brother, Christopher Ciccone, on his sister's look at the VMAs. [E!]
• Q. Did you really write the book's first chapter on your iPhone? "I actually did. I was amazed it had this little keyboard in it. I'm a techno-moron and it had this keyboard that spellchecked as you wrote. It was a good way to start writing the novel because I wasn't taking it seriously, I was just checking out my phone. The rest I wrote by hand." — Nick Cave on his second novel, The Death of Bunny Munro. [Time]
• "It's always so hard for me to describe a film I'm in, as it's so subjective. It's about a lot of different people living in Paris, and a mix of many sides of life, not all happy ones. If you don't go to the bottom, you don't know what joy is, and to explore life you have to plunge head first and take risks. And the way we're brought up with this whole view of life as black and white, good and bad, is completely false, because in life everything is transformable, and something bad can actually be very good, and vice versa. So it's about all those ideas." — Juliette Binoche on her new film, Paris. [Reuters]
• "Yeah. But I don't want to elaborate. I would never call myself a cutter. Girls go through different phases when they're growing up, when they're miserable and do different things, whether it's an eating disorder or they dabble in cutting… I never think I'm worthy of anything... I have a sick feeling of being mocked all the time. I have a lot of self-loathing." — Megan Fox to Rolling Stone, when asked if she had ever cut herself. [NY Daily News]
• "I made my wife appreciate it. She was a good sport. I paraded around. I loved my body. I walked around, danced — dancing with a belly like that was fun. My stepdaughter loved it, too. She kept poking me in the stomach, laughing." — Matt Damon on gaining 30 pounds for The Informant!. [USA Today]
• "Jennifer is one of the coolest women I've ever met. She's so smart." — Gerard Butler on Ms. Aniston. [MSNBC Scoop via Us Weekly]

• Is Jon Gosselin trying to look bad? He's returned the two family dogs to the breeder. "Jon blames Kate for having to give up the dogs," says a source. "Of course, these days Jon blames Kate for just about everything."

• Jon says Kate isn't taking care of them properly, but another source says it was always Jon's responsibility to take care of the dogs. It's more than Kate can handle and he made no arrangements to care for them when he moved to New York. [Radar Online]
• Kate Gosselin said on The View that Jon Gosselin brought Hailey Glassman over to meet their children. Now Jon says, "I've never brought Hailey to meet the kids, nor do I plan on doing that anytime soon." Hailey Tweeted: "I was never at Jon and Katezilla's house nor did I meet the children, And nor am I in a rush to..." [E!]
• Jon Gosselin has been dropped by his divorce lawyer. The divorce was supposed to be finalized next month, but this should delay the process. [My Fox Philly]
• Kate Major says, "I will take a lie detector test and I would love for Jon to take a lie detector test because for him to say there was no romance is a complete lie," adding, "I think I was in lust with him, but no, I didn't love him." [People]
• Stephanie Santoro's mom says Jon Gosselin asked her daughter, "If she would call Hailey and calm Hailey down and tell her that they never had a relationship, that they never went to eat together, that they never did anything together; that all she was, was a friend and a sitter to the children." Stephanie refused. Her mom adds, "He told Stephanie that he cared for Hailey, but he didn't see her as the person he wanted to spend his life with. He didn't see her as a stepmother figure for the children, but he said that he couldn't end it now because there was too much stuff, like the clothing line, that Hailey was involved in. He had to be careful how he handled everything." [Radar Online]
• Chris Brown may have Tweeted toda "on my way to community service...," but the judge who sentenced him actually said he'd be doing, "actual physical labor, as opposed to some type of community service." [TMZ]
• There are pictures of him cleaning up a roadside lot while wearing an orange vest... and a "wife beater". [Radar Online]
• Burt Reynolds has checked into rehab to deal with his addiction to prescription medication. His manager says, "After a recent back surgery, Mr. Reynolds felt like he was going through hell and after a while, realized he was a prisoner of prescription pain pills. He checked himself into rehab in order to regain control of his life. Mr. Reynolds hopes his story will help others in a similar situation. He hopes they will not try to solve the problem by themselves, but realize that sometimes it is too tough to do on their own and they should seek help, as he did." [People]
• An excerpt of Patrick Swayze's upcoming memoir The Time of My Life was released today in which he wrote after he was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer, "I began thinking to myself, I've had more lifetimes than any 10 people put together, and it's been an amazing ride. So this is okay." [Reuters]
• Star claims Jennifer Aniston and Gerard Butler's romance is "for real" because they went on a romantic dinner date, even though sources at the restaurant in question have already said they were out with a group of people and didn't even sit next to each other. [Star]
• Aaron Eckhart says his Love Happens co-star Jennifer Aniston "keeps good people around her. She's interested. She asks questions. She gets outside of herself and lives, I would say at the very least, an interesting life. It's not really always her own. She deals with it very well." [People]
• "This time around, TV feels better, and The Beautiful Life feels like a better fit for me as a television show. It's a much happier experience because I'm older and I can see everything for what it was now. I was 16 when I went to do The O.C., and it was a great experience, it changed my life. It made me famous and everything. But this time around I can actually sit back and enjoy the experience and know what's coming and just have a good time with it. I think it's cool to see the younger cast members enjoying it for the first time." — Mischa Barton [L.A. Times]
• When asked about her recent psychiatric episode Mischa Barton said, "I'm getting sick of answering questions about it. I just had a bad time of year and now it's all over and done with, and I'm just very happy to be feeling happy again and back on top of it and not so worried about everything. It was just too much to handle for me at the time." [N.Y. Observer]
• Matt Damon says George Clooney's girlfriend Elisabetta Canalis is "a really, really wonderful woman... It's nice to see my friend so happy." [People]
• "I would rather have a prostate exam on live television by a guy with very cold hands than have a Facebook page." — George Clooney [People]
• The LAPD is wrapping up their investigation of Michael Jackson's death and sources say it will be presented to the L.A. County District Attorney in three to four weeks. [TMZ]
• Things got uncomfortable on The Jay Leno Show when Jay started asking Tom Cruise and Cameron Diaz about sex. Jay wanted to know if Tom had ever been to a strip club, and Tom replied, "Actually I never have been, ever. Sorry to disappoint you." Diaz added, "It's kind of hard to be Tom Cruise and go to a strip club." Then Jay asked, "I know you're a pilot, what are you better at – flying or sex?" Tom squirmed in his seat and said, "You know what, I don't know... I try to excel in all areas and I've never been asked for a refund, so I don't know." [Daily Mail]
• Guitarist Joe Satriani has dropped his lawsuit against Coldplay for allegedly stealing parts of his songs. It's unclear whether they made a finacial settlement, but Coldplay will not be required to admit they did anything wrong as part of their agreement. [BBC]
• Zachory Loring, the man Audrina Patridge says is stalking her, was arrested yesterday on two outstanding warrants for vandalism and disturbing the peace. His mom was the one who reported him to the police. He's still in jail, and has been served with the restraining order Audrina requested while behind bars. [TMZ]
• Lauren Conrad was excited to guest judge America's Next Top Model because "I don't watch a lot of TV, but it is one of the few shows I watch. I'm such a fan of Tyra. So when they contacted me, I said yes. I knew it would be a great experience. [Working with the Top Model judges] was a treat." [People]
• Kristin Cavallari is denying that she's having a secret relationship with John Mayer. "I literally met John one time for five minutes," she said. "I am single, I'll tell you that. I'm 22. Why have a boyfriend? I'm having fun." [Us]
• Jessica Simpson's dog Daisy is still missing and was last seen in the clutches of a wild coyote. Jessica used a dog-finding service called FindToto.com that called 1000 of her neighbors to ask for tips about the dog, but so far no one has called in about Daisy. [TMZ]
• Paris Hilton has released a very detailed statement, saying that the reason she skipped several nightclub appearances in Germany was that "Miss Hilton's security visited the ‘night club' booked for the appearance and discovered it was a strip club, the venue had been misrepresented to Miss Hilton by the talent promoters. Miss Hilton does not support or endorse strip clubs and this type of establishment." [Perez Hilton]
• Aretha Franklin says of her performance at the Presidential inauguration, "I should have done what some of the other artists did, and that was to pre-record." [WWD]
• Leelee Sobieski and her fiance Adam Kimmel are expecting their first child together in December. [Us]
• Jenna Elfman is expecting her second child with husband Bodhi Elfman. "I have a baby in my tummy – but a real one, not just for my TV show," she said. "My character's pregnant the whole first season [of Accidentally On Purpose], so I said, 'It's a good time to have another baby, because we won't have to hide it.'" [People]
• Elizabeth Taylor keeps a picture of Richard Burton on her nightstand and says they would have married for a third time if he was still alive. "She still says had he lived that they'd be back together once again - that it would have been third time lucky. They were mad about each other," said Burton's niece Sian Owen. "She believes that in the last years in their lives when everything had been toned down with the drinking and everything else, she believes that they'd be together. She's certain of that, they were soul mates." [Daily Mail]
• Tim McGraw says of Kanye West's VMA incident, "He shows himself to be an idiot every time he does stuff like that, [My girls] were upset. But what he did do is provide a great example of how not to be, and my girls learned a big lesson... when they weren't looking I said, 'He needs an a— whoopin'!' [People]
• Though Nas and Kelis are in the midst of a heated financial and custody battle, they appeared together at Russell Simmons gala for Hair Rules salon. [TMZ]
• Cyndi Lauper says she's actually trying to dress less flamboyantly to play a psychic on Bones. "I didn't think I should look like Rhoda from the '70s," she said. [AP]
• Rolling Stones guitarist Ronnie Wood's girlfriend Ekaterina Ivanova threatened, "I'm going to kill myself. You are going to find me dead," after the two had a fight early Monday morning during which the police were called. He reportedly responded "Fuck off home you s***." [What s-word do you think he used?" [Daily Mail]
• Kara DioGuardi is shopping a new reality show called Dropped. She says, "It takes the best acts that have been dropped and gives them a second chance. You look at Katy Perry, the Jonas Brothers, Alicia Keys, and Lady Gaga, they all have one thing in common: They've all been dropped from their labels ... I was dropped. Think about how many times in your life you haven't achieved one goal, but you've achieved another one." [N.Y. Magazine]
• Karissa Shannon, who has moved into Hugh Hefner's room at the Playboy Mansion with her twin Kristina Shannon says, "Our room is pimp. We've got the round spinning bed from Chicago, a kickass big-screen TV and we have the perfect view of all the parties in the backyard. And we're getting a stripper pole in there, too." [E!]
• Kendra Wilkinson's husband, Hank Baskett, was cut from the Philadelphia Eagles to make room for Michael Vick. [People]
• Karina Smirnoff says "It's kind of easy to stay friends," with Maksim Chmerkovskiy even though they've broken up. "We were friends for 14 years, before anything else. It will always remain this way. It's not difficult. We both think the world of each other." [People]
• On The Oprah Winfrey Show yesterday, Whitney Houston's 15-year-old daughter Bobbi Kristina said she wants to pursue a singing career. "I know she hates it, but it's the plan," Bobbi Kristina told Oprah. "It's my plan. Mine. Yeah." [Access Hollywood]
• Patsy Kensit says she won't do anymore nude scenes because it would embarrass her sons, who are 17 and 10. She says, "The only way I'd do it is if nudity was intrinsic to the plot." [Daily Express]
• Michael Palin says Monty Python never would have been made if the BBC's management had meddled as much as they do today. "I think we would be looked at very carefully. There would be much more managerial interference, which there never was," said. "We were allowed to get on with our show once they had agreed it. I just don't think it would be the same nowadays and I think that is regrettable. We are in danger of having to be so accountable to everybody for everything [the BBC] does." [Daily Mail]
• Clive Owen says the recent scripts he's read, "Are not very good. And these are films that are funded and ready-to-go ­expensive movies. You're amazed that people are funding them. I start to think it's me, that I'm being too choosy." [Just Jared]
• Russell Crowe has written an apology to fans after a rugby player and a coach got into a fight at the rugby club Crowe co-owns saying, "I truly know what it is like to have an incident blow up in your face and cause shockwaves through your life. In the past I have put my parents and my wife and my extended family through some terrible times and I'm sorry for every moment of those public floggings that they have received the residual fallout from. 'I'm embarrassed just to type that sentence; some things just don't go away easily. I have learned to own and take responsibility for those times when I haven't been my best.There has been many an opportunity that has left my professional life because of people's perceptions that I am rough around the edges and perhaps unreliable.I work hard on trying to let people know that I am better than the worst of me, it's the only thing I can do." [Daily Mail]
• Beth Ditto got into a fight with Katy Perry earlier this year over the song "I Kissed A Girl," and now Ditto is calling her a "boner dyke." Ditto says, "It's a sensitive subject: we're talking about what's really going on for my people. I don't think people understand how real it is. I had surgery about three years ago. I was in the hospital - in a liberal part of the country - and my family was 3,000 miles away, and (my partner) Freddie was by my side. And Freddie got chased out of the place and treated like shit because she wasn't 'family'. It was so bad that the lady next to me in the hospital room was like, 'I've never seen anyone treated that way in my life'. And I knew it was because I was gay; the rest of my time in there, I was treated like shit. That's something 'lipstick lesbians' will never experience. So yeah, 'I Kissed A Girl' is a funny little song, but now is maybe not the best time for it." [Daily Express]
• Jemaine Clement says there isn't any tension between him and Bret McKenzie because he was nominated for an Emmy but Bret wasn't. "The fact that he is usually voted ‘best looking Conchord' is a far greater source of controversy within the band," he says. "Besides, he was a full-time musician before the show, whereas I was a full-time actor. If he'd been nominated I would have fought him." [N.Y. Times]

[New York, September 15. Image via Bauer-Griffin]

• Steven Soderbergh has confirmed that his next film will star Michael Douglas as Liberace and Matt Damon as his longtime lover. Soderbergh said, "We've already done some costume and wardrobe tests on Michael, and they're very, very, very good..."

• "I swear to you, Michael amazed me. He crushed it." [People]
• Matt Damon shot a scene for an upcoming film with New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg today on the steps of City Hall. When a reporter asked how they know each other Bloomberg said, "All young sex symbols know each other." [N.Y. Times]
• A source says that while Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt were "on a trip to Kenya with their children, Angelina stopped in Dabaab Refugee Camp, and also flew to Ethiopia with Zahara and Shiloh for two days." It's the first time Zahara has been back since her adoption. [People]
• In a backstage VIP lounge at Fashion Week a fan poked Bruce Willis in the shoulder and he got in her face, pointed a finger at her and said, "Don't you EVER touch me, understand?" The woman looked frightened and backed off. Bruce told his posse "I need to leave." [Radar Online]
• Marci Santoro, the mother of Jon Gosselin's former babysitter/lover Stephanie Santoro, says that he threatened to kill himself in a conversation with Stephanie. "He said that everybody would be better off without him and that his children would be better off if he wasn't around anymore... He said to her, ‘I'm just going to kill myself, I'm just going to end it all.'" She adds, "She told me that besides watching the children, they also started a relationship, and of course being a mother my first question was, ‘are you sleeping with him, did you have sex?' and she said, ‘yeah.'" [Radar Online]
• Taylor Swift says Kanye West called her and made a "sincere" apology, so she accepted it. She adds, "The support that I got from other artists and from the fans and so many people sticking up for me that's what got me to the place where I could accept the apology. And I'm just very thankful that everyone could show me so much love." [Perez Hilton]
• Though Viacom and Google are suing each other, the companies are working together to keep the Kanye West/Taylor Swift incident off YouTube. [Media Memo]
• Some radio stations are boycotting Kanye West's music. [Perez Hilton]
• Beyonce's manager/dad Michael Knowles says he'd proud of the way Beyonce handled Kanyegate. "It was all Beyonce's decision. I want to be clear about that. My job is to execute and come up with some ideas, but ultimately that was Beyonce's decision," he said. "I can only say it was a proud night for me as a manager, but more importantly as a father. I've always said the thing that makes me most proud about Beyonce is not how many records she sold or how many plaques she has or how many awards; it's that she's a genuine good person. I know it's hard for people to believe that she can really be that nice of a person, but she really is." [Us]
• Diddy got into a fight with a "tough-talking hip-hop cop" after the VMAs when he told him to keep moving on the sidewalk. Dilly said, "Lower your fucking voice when you're talking to me... I'm a man just like you." And the man replied, "I don't give a fuck who you are." [TMZ]
• Bobby Brown says of his relationship with Whitney Houston, "I think we corrupted each other. I don't think she hurt me or I hurt her. I just think we had a 14-year marriage that had its ups and downs and not many people understood it." As for his drug use, he says, "I used an awful lot you know and I can't take that back," adding that coke, "It's a powerful drug." [Ok]
• Keanu Reeves is scouting locations for his next film so he toured two Buffalo-area jails. While they let Keanu in, the two jails have barred federal investigators and are the target of Justice Department lawsuite for civil rights violations. [AP]
• Keanu Reeves says of his Point Break co-star Patrick Swayze, "He was a beautiful person, an artist. Patrick, he just wanted to experience life and for his work he wanted to take the opportunity of the film and it gave him that sense." [People]
• SNL sources are still denying that Casey Wilson was fired because she didn't lose 30 pounds saying it's "not true...her contract was simply not renewed." [E!]
• In the video at the link Clive Owen discusses his next project The Boys Are Back, about a sports writer who loses his wife to cancer and has to raise his 6-year-old son on his own. [N.Y. Times]
• Clive Owen says, "I haven't done a film like this before and parenting is a big part of my life. It was a challenge to explore, and something that I thought was very well written — the ups and downs of parenting." [Reuters]
• Paris Hilton may be sued because she skipped several media events this weekend in Frankfurt, Germany due to "mysterious circumstances." Sources say she skipped a party with Frederic Prinz von Anhalt's son Marcus because Doug Reinhardt "instructed" her not to "because it was being held in an erotic table dancing club." [Perez Hilton]
• Cherry Jones says when she heard she'd been nominated for an Emmy, "I really truly just giggled a lot. My world is theater and I've been nominated a handful of times for Tonys and that's always been kind of wonderful and surprising. But it's sort of what I do for a living. The Emmys to me - even though I've been on the show for two seasons, I still feel like a bit of impostor who just snuck into town and is pretending to be a television actor." [N.Y. Times]
• Betty White will receive a Life Achievement Award at the SAG Awards on January 23. [Variety]
• The chef who was suing Simon Cowell and Terri Seymour because she left her sneakers at their home has settled her case. She got her shoes back, plus $75 in court costs and $9 in gas money. The chef says, "I got my shoes back ... yayyyyyyy!" [TMZ]
• Kim Kardashian managed to insult both of her sisters in the same sentence this morning saying of her pregnant sister Kourtney Kardashian, "She's huge. She is huuuuge I think she's in denial of buying maternity clothes, because she just borrows Khloe's clothes." Kim explained, "Khloé is going to kill me for saying that, but it's really because Khloé is so much taller." [E!]
• Dr. Arnold Klein is suing Dr. Steven Hoefflin for telling The Sun, "[Dr. Conrad] Murray definitely called Klein because Klein taught him how to administer Propofol ... Murray would have counted on Klein to be the source of Propofol and guide him on its use." Klein says the statement was made, "willful, fraudulent, malicious, oppressive and reckless" and was done "with the intent to injure and harm Dr. Klein." but The Sun says they have evidence to back Hoefflin's claim. [TMZ]
• President Obama will appear on The Late Show With David Letterman on Monday to promote his health care plan, marking the first time a sitting president has appeared on the show. [AP]
• Juliette Lewis says of being directed by Drew Barrymore in Whip It, "I was so impressed with her as a director because she knew what she wanted to see. She really had a strong visual sense of the movie. I really feel like I was making the first movie of a young filmmaker." [Reuters]
• 63-year-old former Monkee Davy Jones married 32-year old Jessica Pacheco, a Telemundo TV star, on August 30 even though she allegedly beaut him up and cracked his rib with her shoe in the past. "Davy admits Jessica's violent with him, but she's drop-dead gorgeous and has clearly captivated him," said a source. "He says, 'It's my life. I don't want to be alone.'" [National Enquirer]
• Jane Lynch says playing Sue Sylvester on Glee is "so delicious. There's something about [her]. I've played arrogant people before, but the levels and lengths she goes to, it's so entertaining and fun." [People]
• Two screenwriters are suing NBC Universal and want to prevent Jennifer Aniston's new film Love Happens from being released because they say its based on a script called The Truth they gave a VP in 2006. [TMZ]
• Quentin Tarantino says that he's happy the success of Inglorious Basterds will ease the financial difficulties of the Weinstein Company. "They were backed up against the wall, and this gives them breathing room. This gets their back off the wall," Tarantino said. "I'm actually proud that I was able to do that for them, that I could pay back their faith in me, that I could pay back their support." [Reuters]
• Christina Applegate says she misses her old boobs after having a double masectomy and breast reconstruction surgery a year ago. "It's really hard because they just aren't the same – and I had really good ones," said Applegate. "If you have boobs you don't like, you can go and choose the size you want, and then get a brand new present. But it's different [when it's not your choice]." [People]
• Christina Applegate wants everyone to know she and Martyn LeNoble aren't engaged. "Can a girl please wear a ring on her left hand and not have it be all, 'Is she engaged?'" she says. [Extra TV]
• Maggie Gyllenhaal says on the set of Nanny McPhee and the Big Bang, Emma Thompson, "gave me a couple of notes. And she's not directing me, she's acting with me! If some other actor started giving me notes I would tell them to fuck off - there is not one actor I would allow that from. But they were fantastic notes - clear and totally helpful... I just thought to myself, 'She's teaching me and I'd be an idiot not to accept it.' And Emma's what, 50? It would be silly of me not to acknowledge that she knows more than I do." [Female First]

• The San Diego District Attorney's office has closed Tila Tequila's case against San Diego Chargers star Shawne Merriman, stating that "there is insufficient evidence to prove beyond a reasonable doubt that any crime was committed." [TMZ]

• Tequila's rep begs to differ: "Tila Tequila is the victim of a violent crime. The San Diego District Attorney's decision not to press charges against Shawne Merriman for the battering of Tila Tequila demonstrates an unconscionable negligence in the discharging of their public duties. We strongly feel that justice has not been served in this matter." Her rep also claims that Tequila plans to file a civil suit against Merriman. [E!]
• Lindsay Lohan says that when she was younger, she wanted to be like Britney Spears: "I think I always kind of aspired to be like Britney Spears in the tabloids when I was in middle school," she says, "It's kind of something you sign up for in the beginning and if you really want it, you know that comes with it." [TheSun]
• Former WWE wrestler Jeff Hardy has been arrested and charged with felony drug trafficking. [TheSun]
• "I love going to the Playboy Mansion party with my boyfriend. Last year, we got dressed up as dead foppish Brits with topcoats and white contact lenses. These naked girls on Ecstasy kept coming up to us, like, 'We love your contacts.' We'd twirl around and say, 'Well, we like your breasts!'"-Neil Patrick Harris [ONTD]
• Matt Damon's daughter, Alexia, got a kick out of her father's 30 pound weight gain for his role in The Informant: "She had fun with it by squeezing all the soft squishy parts and called me 'Fatty Matty,'" Damon says. [People]
• Levi Johnson is definitely going to drop his pants for Playgirl, but reportedly can't decide if he wants to show "the front or the back." [TMZ]
• A collection of 10 Andy Warhol silkscreens, all of famous athletes, has been stolen. [Yahoo]
• Audrina Patridge has filed a restraining order against an "overzealous male fan." [TMZ]
• When Nicky Hilton was asked if she was glad that her sister, Paris reunited with boyfriend Doug Reinhardt, she replied: "Ummm...no." She later said she was kidding, though. [E!]
• Katherine Heigl says her husband, Josh Kelley has always been supportive of her desire to adopt a child: ""I just wanted to make sure that I was marrying a guy who understood that that was going to have to happen," she says, "So about a year ago is when we said, 'OK, let's start the process,' and the process is intense. It's different but it isn't, do you know what I mean? It's just as intense I'm sure to have a baby biologically because you're going through the whole physical sort of thing of it." [Radar]
• Tom Brady has confirmed that he will be a father again: his wife, Gisele Bundchen is due in December. [People]
• Susan Boyle reportedly broke down in tears when she heard her album for the first time. "I think at the point where she didn't win, she was afraid everything would be taken away from her and she was going to go back to that little house," Simon Cowell says, "She didn't want to go back to that life." [ShowbizSpy]
• "As a model it is normal to be taking your clothes off all the time. I wouldn't think I was ever too old to do something like that. I mean, maybe if I was 60 or 70, then yes, I'd stop doing nude shoots, but then it depends who's asking."-Claudia Schiffer [DailyExpress]
• Amy Winehouse has agreed to sing at a Greek wedding tonight for £20,000. [TheSun]
• Meryl Streep says she's "exhausted" from making seven movies in two and a half years, and plans to slow down a bit: "I haven't ever considered giving up acting," she says, "but I do need enforced rest in my career. When each of my children was born I took a year off. It is very nice to have time to live, gather experiences and watch other people." [ShowbizSpy]
• Chace Crawford and Bar Refaeli were spotted dancing together in NYC last night: ""At one point, Bar reached down and grabbed Chace's backside," says a source, "They were very affectionate with each other." [JustJared]
• "I don't like boys who are mean to their mommies. That's a real turn off for me. And I don't like boys who aren't chivalrous. To me, not being respectful is a big deal.""-Megan Fox [ShowbizSpy]
• "No, I wouldn't call myself a feminist at all, really. I don't know what a feminist is. I believe in women having a say."-Dame Judi Dench [Guardian]