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Vibrator App Reviews Are a Desolate Swampland of Youthful Regret

Bringing oneself to orgasm with a series of rhythmic vibrations: there's an app for that. It's called "iVibe Massager Lite," and its user reviews are inordinately high — because most of them are bribes from remorseful youths who do not want "The First! The Best! The Original Vibrating iPhone App!" to remain on their… »7/02/14 4:45pm7/02/14 4:45pm

You're Getting Super High-Def Porn Whether You Like It Or Not

A small porn studio in Southern California betting the fuck-farm on a new technology that promises to make the art of filming various body parts and things entering various body holes so graphic that you can practically smell the crotch sweat and feel the chafing. "Super high definition porn" that makes you feel like… »1/13/14 5:15pm1/13/14 5:15pm

Finally, a Masturbating App Will Lift the Veil on Lady-Boners

Humans, being the strange little animals we are, generally love to crawl away to a dark corner of our private spaces and masturbate. But. What if we didn’t have to crawl away to a dark corner and ululate like a crazed werewolf as we relieved a day’s worth of stress and anxiety? What if masturbation wasn’t a… »6/16/13 3:00pm6/16/13 3:00pm

Here’s That Man of Steel Porn Parody You Probably Can’t Masturbate To

Porn parodies aren’t really for titillation, right? They’re for watching after senior prom with a bunch of friends you’ll eventually drift apart from because the only memory you’ll share after another five years will be, “Hey, remember when we all drank grenadine spritzers and watched that stunt fulfill his heroic… »6/16/13 1:30pm6/16/13 1:30pm

Stores May Now Know Too Much About Their Customers’ Fifty Shades Reading Habits

According to Uproxx, this Fifty Shades of Grey masturbating kiosk is located in a Sainsbury's, which is a chain of supermarkets in the U.K. that apparently specializes in dirty books and special vibrator batteries. Oh, and those shortbread cookies that are so maddeningly delicious. This display should remind everyone… »8/07/12 10:25pm8/07/12 10:25pm