• Has Lindsay Lohan turned over a new leaf? She says she's "going to India soon, before Thanksgiving hopefully," to film a BBC documentary on the trafficking of women and children.

• She says her mom is nervous about her trip, but she wants to go because, "I think it's important to have a voice when you have one." [Radar Online]
• Michael Lohan was on the Maury Povich show today trying to reach out to Lindsay. First he insulted her, calling her a "hollow person," then said there is "nothing left in her" and he "couldn't even look at her." He added, "I hate to speak out publicly like this..." As TMZ notes, this episode was called, "You're 14 ... Stop Lap Dancing and Trying to Get Pregnant"? Video here: [TMZ]
• When asked if she's excited that police have caught her alleged burglars, Lindsay said, "[That's] the most awkward question you could possibly ask. Yeah, I'm talking to the detectives, but it's nobody's business but my own." [E!]
• The father of Alexis Neiers, one of the four teenage girls arrested in connection with the recent celebrity burglaries, says, "She was in the wrong place at the wrong time, associating with the wrong people. She got sucked into this. We're standing by her. I'm sure [the case against her is] going to be thrown out of court." [People]
• A source claims Sienna Miller and Judge Law have been going on romantic dinner dates while they're both in New York performing on Broadway. A spokesman confirmed that they have met up, and the source says, "Sienna had her heart broken by Jude, but she was young and it was the first time she'd fallen in love. What people don't realise is that they always remained close, so who knows where this will lead to next." [Ok]
• Kate Gosselin's brother Kevin Kreider, his wife, Jodi Kreider, and attorney Gloria Allred are campaigning for a federal law to protect kids in reality shows. Jodi says the "Balloon Boy" story "makes it very clear that parents and people will do whatever they can do get on a reality show, kind of thinking that's a great way for quick fame." [CBS News]
• More weird Heene footage: in a video from about 10 years ago, Richard Heene tries to shove a cigar into his infant son Bradford's mouth so he can take a picture of him "smoking" and holding a beer bottle as Mayumi protests in the background. [TMZ]
• Lady Gaga says that when Beyonce called her and asked if she wanted to be in her video for "Video Phone" she said, "'What do you want to do?' And I'm like, 'I don't want to show up in some frickin' hair bow and be fashion Gaga in your video.' I said, 'I want to do you.'" She added, "I want to do my version of Beyoncé... So the whole time I was learning the choreography they were calling me Gee-yoncé." [MTV]
• Picewell Forbes publicly apologized for causing a mistrial in the John Travolta case. He didn't say who told him Pleasant Bridgewater had been acquitted but said, "My statements were reckless and interfered with the course of justice in that case and were further capable of bringing disrepute to the whole administration of justice." [AP]
• Michael Jackson's kids are having their own private screening of This Is It tonight. [TMZ]
• The Ali Forney Center, the nation's largest organization for homeless LGBT youth, has received a gift of $300,000 today from Bea Arthur's estate. The organization plans to buy a building to house 12 children whose families have thrown them out for being gay and name it in her honor. [Towleroad]
• Ivanka Trump and Jared Kushner went right back to work after their wedding on Sunday, but they are planning a honeymoon in Africa for December. [People]
• Madonna and her four kids visited the orphanage in Malawi where her son David lived before she adopted him. [AP]
• Akon jumped off the stage and into the crown during a Melbourne concert last night to break up a fight. His promoter says, "The thing that I saw, and I was standing right next to him … He walked to a girl (involved in a fight) and walked to her and held her face and said, ‘You're better than that.'" [The Australian]
• Joe Francis is suing Brody Jenner and his girlfriend Jayde Nicole for battery, assault, negligence, slander, libel and false light. He claims that he only pulled Nicole's hair during their bar altercation in "self-defense" because she hit him in the head, threw a drink at him, and yelled "I'm going to kill you!" for no reason. [TMZ]
• The DA will not file charges against Joe Francis, Brody Jenner, or Jayde Nicole for their bar brawl. The D.A.'s report supports Francis' claim that the surveillance video shows that Jayde "appears to have acted without immediate provocation." Doesn't Girls Gone Wild count as provocation? [TMZ]
• Willem Dafoe says Tim Burton talked to him about playing The Joker in Batman, but he turned the role down and it went to Jack Nicholson. [Daily Express]
• At the link, Lost executive producer Damon Lindelof answers questions about the show's final season. [USA Today]
• On Thursday, Ante Up For Africa, a charity founded by Don Cheadle, is holding its second annual celebrity poker tournament to raise money to bring peace to Sudan. [CNN]
• Uh, wow. Author Martin Amis says he doesn't understand the fascination with Jordan because, "She has no waist, no arse ... an interesting face ... but all we are really worshipping is two bags of silicone." [The Telegraph]
• According to the Jonas Brothers' mom, Denise Jonas, "Nick is working on a solo act—it's called Nick Jonas and The Administration. Shhh! He's at the photo shoot for the album cover right now." [Parade]
• Taylor Lautner says he was motivated by "the movie and the fans," to put on 30 pounds of muscle for New Moon. "But I don't want to become known as just a body... If I had to choose, I would never take my shirt off again in a movie, but I guess that's not very realistic. I certainly won't be asking to do it, though." [People]
• "I'm always going to miss Oasis. It was my fucking thing, you know what I mean? It's who I am. But it's only a name," says Liam Gallagher. "Getting away from the whole Oasis thing is going to be a good thing I suppose. I don't want to do anything solo. I want to be in a band. But we can do things a lot differently these days. It'll definitely be rock 'n' roll." [The Sun]
• Mary-Louise Parker says adopting her 3-year-old daughter Caroline Aberash in 2007 was the "best decision I've ever made. She says, 'I love you, Mommy' and asks, 'Do you love me so much? She has a little bit of a speech delay; Amharic was her first language she heard. But she's really indomitable. She's really strong and she's like a little warrior. She's really amazing." [People]
• Q: What advice did your mom give you about dressing? Jane Lynch: "I like to wear my pajama bottoms and sweatshirts out to get coffee in the morning. She said to always dress like someone is going to take your picture, and every day is an opportunity to make an impression." [N.Y. Magazine]
• In a phone interview Tank Jones, Levi Johnston's manager, said of Levi posing for Playgirl, "He's pumped! He's ready to shock the world. The hell with fifteen minutes... As a matter of fact, when I picked him up, he came out the house naked. I said 'not now!'" Then Levi took the phone and said, "I just get naked. That's what I do." [Us]

• Last night, David Letterman revealed that a CBS News employee is accused of trying to extort $2 million from him because he had sexual relationship with female employees.

The guy threatened to write a screenplay and a book about Letterman unless he was given money. Letterman says: "I was worried for myself, I was worried for my family. I felt menaced by this, and I had to tell them all of the creepy things that I had done." [AP]

• CBS is saying Letterman's accused extortionist was an employee at the news program 48 Hours named Robert Halderman, and he was arrested yesterday. [LA Times, Reuters, HuffPo]
• The New York Post is calling the Letterman incident a "sextortion" plot. [NY Post]
• Kanye West and Lady Gaga's "Fame Kills" tour is dead. Canceled before it ever started. Refunds will be made available. [AP]
• A source says the Fame Kills ticket sales "sucked." Lady Gaga may tour, but play smaller venues. [TMZ]
• They're saying Lindsay Lohan poses on a "stripper pole" in ads for her line of leggings, 6126. But that pole looks structural! [NY Daily News]
• Jon Gosselin says he had "no idea" he was being fired, and that he "found out just like everybody else … saw it on a laptop as an [Associated Press] newswire." His lawyer also says that Jon was going to "pull the plug" on the show weeks before TLC fired him. [People]
• Even though Jon has blocked the TLC crews from coming to the house, Kate Gosselin says: "Jon has never expressed any concerns to me about our children being involved in the show, and, in fact, is on the record as saying he believes the show benefits our children." [Gatecrasher]
• There's a Billboard cover story on Beyoncé, which reveals that she grossed some $53.5 million on her I Am… tour; she was the star and executive producer of the 2009 film Obsessed, which opened at No. 1 and has grossed more than $68.3 million in North America; the Knowles family has donated more than $2.5 million for transitional housing for Hurricane Katrina victims and storm evacuees in the Houston area; Beyoncé works with Feeding America to deliver more than 3.5 million meals to local food banks through fan donations; and, her father says: "Most people don't know this, but she's a really good painter." [ONTD via Billboard]
• WAIT WHAT?!?!? Liza Minnelli will do Beyoncé's "Single Ladies" in Sex And The City 2?!?!? Crap. Now that's something I want to see. [MSNBC Scoop]
• Simon Cowell's 50th birthday party — being held tomorrow at a mansion in Hertfordshire called Wrotham Park (it looks gorgeous!) — will have scantily clad showgirls and boys; tons of flowers; lots of food and cocktails; a smoker's tent; and performances by Rat Pack impersonators, Leona Lewis and maybe Lily Allen. Expect Kate Moss, Kylie Minogue, Donald Trump and possibly Paula Abdul to attend. [Daily Mail]
• Headline Of The Day: "Britney Spears Buys A Parakeet." [People]
• Britney's traveling aliases: Ms. Alotta Warmheart; Mrs. Diana Prince; Queen of the Fairy Dance and Mrs. Abra Cadabra. [Page Six]
• Weird: New York magazine's Emma Rosenblum sat next to Spencer Pratt when she attended a taping of The View yesterday. She writes: "So here are some facts about Spencie that you probably don't want to know, but I will tell you anyway: That necklace he's wearing is made of crystals, and he wears it to protect himself from evil. He has a 200-pound crystal from Peru in his house, which he had excavated and flown in specially. He's very proud of it. He laughs very loudly at anything that's semi-funny." [NY Mag]
• Since the Michael Jackson autopsy shows that the singer was healthy, it could be used against Dr. Conrad Murray: "It clearly establishes that Michael Jackson was a healthy person whose death appears to have been directly caused by the administration of some very powerful sedatives," says criminal defense attorney and former federal prosecutor Mark Werksman. "This autopsy report seems to clear the path for a prosecution that his death was caused by an overdose." [AP]
• "CBS anchor Katie Couric yesterday kicked back at her critics saying she thought the word 'gravitas' — the characteristic she is often accused of lacking — was 'Latin for testicles.'" [NY Post]
• Jay-Z and Alicia Keys: Shot a video at the Empire State Building on Wednesday. [Gatecrasher]
• Lil' Wayne will go on trial next March stemming from the January 2008 incident in which authorities found cocaine, Ecstasy and a handgun on his tour bus. [USA Today]
• Kate Hudson has bonded with Alex Rodriguez's daughters, Natasha and Ella. She's not doing as well with the Yankees, the players wives or girlfriends. [MSNBC Scoop via In Touch]
• Oliver Hudson and wife Erin Bartlett are expecting their second child. [NY Daily News]
• "Mary-Louise Parker certainly isn't ashamed of her new romance with singer Charlie Mars." Why should she be? [Page Six]
• Even though Randy and Evi Quaid have paid their bill for their stay at the San Ysidro Ranch, they still face the charges of burglary, conspiracy and defrauding an innkeeper. Court date: October 19. [TMZ]
• The Tate Modern museum in London has a "Pop Life" exhibit, and director McG hooked up with Takashi Murakami for a four-minute film starring actress Kirsten Dunst singing a cover of "Turning Japanese." Click the link for an insanely colorful picture: Kiki's wearing a bright blue wig! [WSJ]
• "A lawyer for John Travolta testified Thursday that he warned a former Bahamas senator she would not get away with an alleged scheme to extort $25 million from the movie star, and even wore a wire to secretly record their conversations." [AP, TMZ]
• No one likes Phillip Seymour Hoffman in Peter Sellars' production ofOthello at NYU's Skirball Canter: Audiences have been leaving in droves at intermission. [Page Six]
• "Michael Moore, champion of the working class, used non-union stagehands to film Capitalism: A Love Story." [Page Six]
• In a video at the link, Mary Forsberg Weiland talks about her memoir, Fall To Pieces: A Memoir Of Drugs, Rock 'N Roll, And Mental Illness. She talks about the modeling world, being diagnosed with bipolar disorder and how she and Stone Temple Pilots/Velvet Revolver frontman Scott Weiland did heroin and cocaine together. The book contains an anecdote about a Fourth of July party at Leonardo DiCaprio's house in Malibu, where the Weilands arrived in long-sleeved turtlenecks to hide needle tracks and scabs. [Blabbermouth]
• "Workers at an Arizona cryonics facility mutilated the frozen head of baseball legend Ted Williams - even using it for a bizarre batting practice, a new tell-all book claims." [NY Daily News]
• "John Cleese takes a goose-step backwards with one-man show to fund £12million divorce." [Daily Mail]
• "Fame… It kind of kills the humanity and the humility of music for some reason. You're like this product all of a sudden and you have to stay in this Superman costume with people telling you that if you cut your hair, your career is over." — Maxwell, who no longer rocks the giant Afro he once did. [Washington Post]
• "Women don't like the humor when it's combined with inconsideration and insensitivity." — Larry David, on his dating life. [LA Times]
• "There are people that I want to work with but I'm too intimidated. There are a few people that I'd be worried about working with — the greats: Jack Nicholson, Scorsese and Clint Eastwood. So there are still people out there who intimidate me. I think they would catch me out finally. I've got away with murder until now and they would blow that."— Ricky Gervais. [Mirror]
• "I don't think of myself as a typical comedian. I'm just a normal bloke who says things he observes. I don't even really tell jokes with punch lines. But people seem to connect." — Ricky Gervais. [USA Today]
• "One of the things I like about this movie is that my character, for example, is made up all the time. She always looks cute. So she's cute and covered in tats and willing to punch people while wearing dresses and cute shoes. The merging of that: you can be a strong, rough-and-tumble woman, but still be a woman. All of that can be bundled into one. That's definitely a lesson that I currently have been learning the last couple years myself, so it spoke volumes to me." — Whip It's Zoë Bell. [BoxOffice.com]
• Your name is on fans' dream team list for Ridley Scott's prequel to Alien. "Wouldn't that be awesome!? That absolutely has to happen. There was an article where someone CGIed my head onto Sigourney Weaver's body. It's kind of creepy, but I liked it. I sent it to my people and was like, 'Make this happen!' That'd be so sick! That's the kind of stuff I would like to do. Linda Hamilton in Terminator and Sigourney Weaver in Alien-those are the kind of roles we don't have enough of." — Zoë Bell. [BoxOffice.com]
• "I am a hippie girl with anger issues, I get it…" And: "I was so obsessed with happy endings in my 20s. In my 30s, I'm like, a good day is a good day." And: "I do a very serious, disciplined, mature job. That said, I love to go get plastered with my friends on a Saturday night and let it go, but… I'm up on Monday morning at 6 a.m. and I don't stop for seven days straight." — Drew Barrymore. [The Daily Beast]
• "The bride will fight again!" — Quentin Tarantino says he intends to make Kill Bill 3. [Page Six]
• "I think my acting is offensive!" — Lauren Conrad. [People]
• "I just put on a 'Snuggie' and ate a popsicle." — Miley Cyrus, who has strep throat two weeks before her world tour. [NY Daily News]

• Miley Cyrus will indeed be in Sex And The City 2:

The teen queen will have a scene with Kim Cattrall: Samantha Jones wants to look "hot and young" and winds up on the red carpet with Miley — wearing the same dress. Hilarious? [NY Daily News]

• Rumors that Johnny Depp will be replaced in the next Pirates of The Caribbean movie: "Completely unfounded," says a Disney spokesperson. [Mirror]
• Just yesterday, Jon Gosselin's girlfriend Hailey Glassman was on the Gosselin family website. Today? She's been deleted. [RadarOnline]
• Khloe Kardashian and Lamar Odom's wedding: A circus. A guest says: There were so many helicopters overhead, you couldn't hear the vows." Ok! magazine made a $250,000 deal for "exclusive" wedding pix, so when paparazzi pictures of the bride popped up on Sunday, the mag had to spend $50,000 on the shots to keep them off the market. As you may know, E! paid for the wedding, after insisting that it be held immediately so it could be on the season premiere of Keeping Up With The Kardashians. [Page Six]
• Ryan Seacrest is thinking about doing a reality show focusing on Khloe and Lamar as newlyweds. It worked out so well for Nick and Jessica! [NY Daily News]
• In other Kardashian news, Kim Kardashian is back together with Reggie Bush. Professional athletes for everyone! [NY Daily News]
• A second suspect in the Lindsay Lohan burglary has turned herself in. [NY Daily News]
• Should Kanye West go to rehab as an apology for his MTV VMA incident? Columnist Courtney Hazlett says "no, no, no." [MSNBC Scoop]
• Speaking of rehab: Amy Winehouse met a "faith healer" named Peter Hippolyte when she was in St. Lucia, and she's planning on flying him to England to help her stay off drugs and booze. Hippolyte says: "We will say prayers together and she will drink bush tea with antioxidants." [Daily Mail]
• Video: Amy Winehouse rapping. Sorta. [The Sun]
• "The timing of Roman Polanski's arrest in Switzerland on Sunday on a 31-year-old rape conviction couldn't have been better for Brett Ratner." Hours before Polanski was arrested, Ratner announced he'll be producing a sequel to Marina Zenovich's 2008 documentary, Roman Polanski: Wanted and Desired. [Page Six]
• Mariah Carey says Precious director Lee Daniels helped her shed some insecurities — he made her arrive to the set without any makeup, and forced her to leave the diva act at home. "That was such a freeing experience for me… By making me look so bad he brought out the ability to never be self-conscious again, and that was a gift that he gave me." On the rumors that Mariah and Nick Cannon are trying to get pregnant, she says: "Well, we enjoy practicing." [AP]
• Jon Hamm and Elisabeth Moss are on the October cover of LA Confidential, and inside Jon says: "The [show] is not meant to be on while you're doing dishes, it's meant to be enjoyed and savored and focused on, and it rewards that attention…" [JustJared]
• At Teen Vogue's 7th annual Young Hollywood party, Kelly Osbourne was overheard telling a friend that she was "shocked" how short the skirts of the young party girls were. [Page Six]
• Randy and Evi Quaid are called "Hollywood's Nightmare Couple" in this extensive piece. Evi allegedly self-medicated with Demerol three times a day, snorting it so it would go right to her brain to cure her migraines. A source says: "She also … believed [Michael] Jackson was murdered along with Heath Ledger, Chris Penn, David Carradine, Natasha Richardson, and other stars who (had been) in movies with Randy." The paranoia that someone was out to get them, and that they weren't safe anywhere, lead to a string of unpaid hotel bills. [The Daily Beast]
• "The enormous sign Evi Quaid made last week — which accused her arresting officer of taking bribes — somehow caught fire this weekend…" [TMZ]
• Emma Watson was "shaken" at the Harvard/Brown football game when security guards had to protect her from gawkers. [Page Six]
• Mel Gibson is asking a judge to remove his 2006 DUI from his record, now that he has completed the terms of his 3-year probation. [TMZ]
• Sarah Ferguson, the Duchess of York, has announced that a major US film company has bought the rights to her series of children's books. She says: "The films will run as a series… America has been so good to me. I failed in Britain, and when I gave it a go in America I was ready to fail there, too — but they have really embraced me." [Daily Mail]
• Emmy Rossum, who kept her marriage a secret all year, will be officially divorced in about 180 days. Court documents reveal that she married record label exec Justin Siegel in February, and that he wants Emmy to pay his legal expenses for the divorce and give him spousal support. He's all, "That's all I ask… of youuuuuu." [E!]
• Emmy is currently dating Sideshow Bob Adam Duritz. [People]
• American Idol castoff Adam "Glambert" Lambert's CD is available for pre-order on Amazon, and is currently number 2 — ahead of Madonna and the Beatles. [NY Post]
• Darrell Hammond's name is missing from the opening credits of Saturday Night Live, and a source says: "He's interested in pursuing acting more, but he's loyal to Lorne Michaels, and Lorne will always have a place for him on SNL for as long as Darrell is willing to come back." [MSNBC Scoop]
• Barbra Streisand's new CD is nostalgic, though the recording process was not: "For the first time, she worked with jazz artist Diana Krall as producer, and did it Krall's way. She performed with Krall's quartet of musicians first, then added orchestration later, instead of her usual practice of performing with an orchestra at the outset." [AP]
• Malaysia has banned Bruno because of the gay sex scenes. According to this column, "Gay sex, or 'carnal intercourse against the order of nature,' is punishable by up to 20 years in jail and whipping in Malaysia." Their views on homosexuality suck, but as far as the film goes, they're not missing anything. [Mirror]
• Mary-Louise Parker, 45, is dating musician Charlie Mars, 35. [NY Daily News]
• Jaime Pressley and new hubby Simran Singh got into a huge fight on their wedding night, maybe because Jaime had too much to drink. [Radar Online]
• "The Inside Scoop on Starting in TV" is the story of how Lara Spencer got her start. [WSJ]
• Jon Cryer and his wife, Lisa Joyner, have adopted a baby girl. [People]
• 90210 2.0's AnnaLynne McCord actually wants to be on the cover of Cosmo. [Page Six]
• "A former aide to Danielle Steel is facing time in federal prison after admitting she stole hundreds of thousands of dollars from the romance novelist." [AP]
• Al Sharpton and actress LisaRaye: It's on. [TheYBF]
• Police officials now have the hard drive found with Ryan Jenkins when he was discovered dead in a hotel room back in August. There was no suicide note, so cops are hoping the computer will shed light on the murder of Jasmine Fiore. [TMZ]
• Whatshisname does not have an eating disorder. [The Sun]
• "In terms of the stress there's just no comparison. For me, at least, writing a novel is a great pleasure. There is stress but it's a different kind of stress: more mental than physical. In a film you're working nights and 16-hour days. Here I am saying poor me, when I've been paid pretty well for that work, but it's a fact. It doesn't matter how much you're being paid. At my age I just feel I don't want to do that any longer. So, the writing is really a godsend." — Gene Hackman, who has quit acting for writing, He and Daniel Lenihan have written three works of fiction, and their latest, Escape From Andersonville, is a Civil War adventure. [The Daily Beast]
• "I am enrolling in Berklee College in Boston to get my bachelor's degree in music! That's how important education is to me. I plan to work with Rev. Al Sharpton because that's how important stressing the importance of education to children is to me." — Wyclef Jean. [BV Buzz]
• "I wasn't nervous because I'd got my body and mind into shape for it. My aim is to become an iconic sex symbol and the Playboy shoot is the first step. I wanted to be toned and curvaceous with a nice butt–I didn't want to lose weight and look skinny." — Heidi Montag on her Playboy shoot. She also says: "I'm a C cup but I want to upgrade to a DD cup. I have a curvy butt now and bigger boobs will enhance my shape." [Prz]
• "Seriously, I feel exactly the same now turning 50 as I did when I was 40 or 30. I am enjoying myself. I happen to think that I am just extraordinarily lucky. I am doing something that I am passionate about and that I enjoy doing. There are a couple of charities I am involved with that would appreciate a donation. But please, no presents from anyone." — Simon Cowell turns 50 tomorrow and will throw a big party this weekend. [Telegraph]
• "We're having Gore Vidal on. Larry David is booked. Those two are favorites of mine. And the usual suspects: Ann Coulter. Susie [Essman] will be on. Barbara [Walters] might be on the first week because she's the queen. Alec Baldwin- I can't get him on the phone. I saw him recently at a U.N. function. He's the funniest. He trusts me because I'm not out to get him. I'm not. Last time I interviewed him, his daughter was there and they were really close." — Joy Behar on her new HLN show, which starts tonight at 9pm. [USA Today]
• "She speaks like this weird white-person ebonics. She has this weird language. She doesn't technically read. But it's OK; she doesn't have to." — Kathy Griffin on Paris Hilton. [Page Six]
• "Come on over and see me after you finish." — Ellen Barkin to Matt Damon. [Page Six]
• "With ratings falling, this might be the last season of Jon & Kate Plus 8. I'm not sure yet." — Kate Gosselin, on her Facebook page. [NY Post]

[New York, September 27. Image via INF]

[New York, September 26. Image via Getty.]

[Los Angeles, September 21. Image via Bauer-Griffin]

Rose Byrne's "Glinda" special is straight-up beautiful.


Also in the fairy princess camp: a radiant Drew Barrymore.


I don't remember the last time Jennifer Love Hewitt looked so simply pretty on the red carpet.


Lovely to see Christina Hendricks showcasing her bombshell figure in something simple.


Kate Walsh departs from her usual sleek lines with a gorgeous, subtle Grecian number.


Seriously digging Alex Borstein's fun deco ensemble.


Leighton Meester's is definitely one of the top 3 looks of the evening.
[Images via Getty]


Maybe not my favorite look of the evening, but Kim Kardashian is still glam, and gorgeous.


It's always nice to see someone do sleeves on the red carpet - especially when the results are as elegant as Elizabeth Perkins'.


Lindsay Price took a gamble on a basically safe red carpet; I think it paid off.


The tricky gowns are the ones that aren't hideous or gorgeous, but kind of on the fence. I'd put this Jessica McClintock-y number in a "Meh" category if there was one - but the fit and Vanessa's elan take it into positive territory.


Loving Holly Hunter's juxtaposition of geometric and soft.


Speaking of geometric: I'm guessing January Jones' bold gown will be somewhat polarizing; I love it.


Jennifer Carpenter's old-Hollywood exercise in intricacy is one of the few cases when you don't wince to think of so much handwork going into something disappointing.


Alicia Witt's feathered friend is slightly surreal - but not over-the-top.


If anyone can do straight-up 80's power red, it's Sigourney Weaver.


Chloe Sevigny's dress may well be my favorite of the entire evening. Also, decade.


Jane Krakowski's was one of the best of the many disco-inflected numbers.


As was Kaley Cooco's human Oscar.


Cherry Jones has the height for these statuesque lines.


Kourtney Kardashian looks more elegant and naturally beautiful in maternity than I've ever seen her.


Heidi Klum, of course, wrote the book.


Kat Deeley's natural (which, yes, obvioulsy took 4 hours) hair and makeup are a stunning counterpoint to her goddessy gown.


Sure she's been more glam, but I dig how low-key Sally Field kept it.


While I've yet to see a red-carpet look that adequately conveys Mindy Kaling's awesome, I'd say this playful, pretty frock is a definite "good." Even if it looks painful.


If you have to do "Reagan-era," Debra Messing shows how.


Elisabeth Moss' regal situation is almost too busy - I think it's the rich, subtle color that keeps it in bounds.


Sandra Oh overcomes this unfortunate belt by the skin of her sequins.


As you can see, the metallics were totally out of control - but Mariska's not Jayne Mansfield's daughter for nothin'.


Tina Fey nails it. That is all.


I like Mila Kunis' slightly unexpected wine tasting: you?


And why was Mary-Louise Parker the only one with the cajones for a mini?


Jennifer Westfeldt flirts with dowdiness - it's her radiant smile that saves her.


Amy Poehler: adorable.


Ginnifer Goodwin's gown: youthful, gorgeous, apparently magic.


Julia Louis-Dreyfus knows what works for her and doesn't deviate.

[New York, August 25. Image via INF]

• According to this report, Samantha Ronson went out with Sopranos actress Drea De Matteo last night, got into a fight with Lindsay Lohan about it, and threw LL's clothes out into the street.

Can't really tell if the supposedly illustrative pictures at the link actually reflect that, but whatever. [Daily Mail]

• Oy: Rumor has it that Kevin Federline is working with VH1 on a new reality show costarring his girlfriend, Victoria Prince, and his kids, Sean Preston and Jayden James. Just what the world needs. [E!]
• Meanwhile, Britney's conservatorship might be coming to an end, when her tour winds down in November. She seems like she's doing pretty good, no? [TMZ]
• Mischa Barton's model-centric CW show, The Beautiful Life, will go on with or without her — which means that producers are casting a new recurring character as a Plan B., in case Mischa is not ready for filming the last week of July. [EW]
• Madonna is in Marseilles, where she visited with the victims of the stage collapse which left two dead. She met with the widow of a worker and also went to the hospital where eight injured workers are being treated. [Daily Mail]
• Burn Notice actor Jeffrey Donovan was arrested for DUI in Miami Beach. Nice stubble in the mug shot. [NY Daily News]
• Jon Gosselin and Hailey Glassman were seen hanging out in an upstate New York park, and "They kept stopping to make out - and they made out a lot." [Gatecrasher]
• The reporter Jon Gosselin had dinner with over the weekend often "uses her charms" to get stories, and sometimes wears wigs when she follows celebrities, so as not to be recognized. [Page Six]
• "Are Kate Gosselin and Madonna workout buddies? The Jon & Kate star has arms that mirror Madge's." [NY Daily News]
• It's official: Emma Watson will attend Brown University in the fall. [People]
• Jennifer Love Hewitt and Jamie Kennedy: Engaged! [Page Six]
• When Heidi Klum was followed by paparazzi as she took her kids to a NYC park last week, it was other parents at the park who were pissed: They asked the snappers to leave, and when the photographers didn't, the moms and dads threw water balloons at them. [Daily Express]
• Sienna Miller has seen her GI Joe action figure, and she is not impressed. "My doll is cross-eyed and has the biggest chin you have ever seen. Action figures are always a bit off, aren't they? Oddly enough from side on, it is definitely me but front on she looks sort of possessed." [The Sun]
• Here's a video of Katherine Heigl talking about T.R. Knight going to do Broadway now that he's not on Grey's Anatomy: "That really pisses me off," she says. [E!]
• David Beckham's coach is criticizing the player for confronting jeering fans at the first home game of the season: "We appreciate our players and fans passion for the team and the game, but we all must aim to hold ourselves to higher standards." [Mirror]
• Amy Winehouse's mom says the star is on the road to recovery: "A year ago, everyone was saying: 'Will she get through this, will she even survive?' And look at her now. We've got the old Amy back. I always knew she'd come through it. And I know she doesn't want to go back to the drugs. St Lucia was good in many ways because there were no hard drugs around, but she was bored, so she drank…She's put on a bit of weight and looks better than she has in a long time… She was busy cooking, so that's a good sign that she's actually eating. I think she's pleased to be home and I know she's happier now." [Mirror]
• Bonnie Somerville played Suzie Cavandish in Labor Pains, and she says of Lindsay Lohan: "She is supertalented. I had a great time working with her." [E!]
• A balloon company sent Jennifer Lopez a giant bouquet of balloons for her twins, which she promptly sent back. Maybe the colorful arrangement was not classy enough for Jenny from the block? [TMZ]
• Re: Tony Romo and Jessica Simpson: A source says: "Tony pulled the plug because he couldn't stand the constant heat Jessica was putting on him to get married… The final nail in the coffin was an argument they had over how to celebrate Jessica's birthday. She wanted a splashy Ken & Barbie-themed bash with all of her celebrity friends, and Tony wanted a quiet, low-key dinner for just the two of them." [MSNBC via National Enquirer]
• Susan Boyle will appear in an interview on the Today show tomorrow, in which she says of sudden fame: "The impact, like a demolition ball. You know, and anyone who has that kind of impact — finds it really hard to get a head around it. I guess I had to get my head around it, but through the — the guidance of a great team, and they are very good, I was able to see that in perspective and really turn that around a little." [Reuters]
• "Harry Potter's love interest rivals Emma Watson in fashion stakes… Emma Watson finally has competition as the most glamourous Harry Potter screen siren after Bonnie Wright who plays Ginny Weasley was photographed looking equally spellbinding." [Telegraph]
• Mark Lester, godfather of Michael Jackson's children, claims that after the memorial service, 7-year-old Blanket Jackson seemed confused about what was going on. "It is obvious to me that Blanket is still unsure about what exactly happened to his father.He said, 'Where's Daddy gone? On holiday?' It was a rhetorical question and it broke my heart." [Mirror]
• The Jackson family is still "agonizing" over the decision of where to bury the King of Pop, but his body is "temporarily interred" at Forest Lawn Memorial-Park and Mortuary in Los Angeles. [People]
• Joe Jackson was on Larry King Live, where he seemed to blame Dr. Conrad Murray for Michael Jackson's death: "The doctor gave him something to make him rest, and then he don't wake up no more. Something is wrong there," Joe said. [AP]
• Another report claiming that Katherine Jackson is being manipulated to dispute Michael's will. [TMZ]
• Joe Jackson says the rumor that he wants to take Michael's kids on tour as the Jackson 3 is "a bunch of jive." And when asked if he was abusive to Michael when he was a kid, he said: "That's a bunch of bull S." [CNN]
• August 29 would have been Michael Jackson's 51st birthday, and there may be two tribute concerts at London's O2 Arena in August to celebrate. [TMZ]
• Russell Brand. Goat farming. [RussellBrand.TV]
• Ciara is on the cover of Social Life magazine, but she skipped the party for the isue in East Hampton because she had a chance to go into the studio with Justin Timberlake. Social Life editor Devorah Rose has a much lengthier explanation, which you can read at the link if you wish. [Observer]
• There was some chaos at Chace Crawford's birthday party because the prettyboy didn't want to pose for photos. What the hell are we going to paste in our scrapbooks, hmm? [Page Six]
• Will Lizzie Grubman be on Real Housewives Of New York? Short answer: No. [Page Six]
• Jorja Fox: Returning to CSI. [UPI]
• Nicolas Cage is in talks to play the villain in The Green Hornet. Cameron Diaz is negotiating to play a reporter and love interest; Seth Rogen will star. [Variety]
• Uma Thurman will star in Girl Soldier, an indie film about a cleric who helped rescue 140 schoolgirls abducted in Uganda. [Variety]
• "Tyler Perry is paying for 65 children from a Philadelphia day camp to go to Walt Disney World after reading about allegations that a suburban swim club had shunned them because of racism." [AP]
• Ryan O'Neal says he is dealing with Farrah Fawcett's death by answering condolence notes from her fans. [UPI]
• Ryan O'Neal is also spilling about what Redmond O'Neal's last words were to his mother Farrah Fawcett on her death bed, which is maybe a little too intimate. [People]
• Marissa Jaret Winokur is still blogging her "weight-loss journey," although this week, it's "I Fell Off the Diet Wagon." Tons and tons of candy, thanks to her son's first birthday party. [People]
• Jamie Waylett, who plays Vincent Crabbe in the Harry Potter movies, has been ordered to do 120 hours of community service after admitting to growing 10 cannabis plants at his mother's house. [Daily Mail]
• "Bruce Lee's older sister and younger brother have authorized a Chinese company to make a series of biographical films about the late kung fu icon, saying they want to produce a historically accurate account of their brother's life." [AP]
• Whatshisname says he and Whatshername don't let the kids see them fight. [Mirror]
• Whatshisname fell off a stage, btw. [Daily Mail]
• Blind item! "Which indie starlet secretly has a house decorated entirely with Alice in Wonderland paraphernelia?" [Gatecrasher]
• "I would daydream about it all the time. I thought about the fact that there were children who didn't have anything, and I felt like I could help. It was something that weighed on me. It was something I did for the world and for my son and then for me." — Mary Louise Parker always knew she would adopt someday. [People]
• "It was fun. It was a new experience for me just to take my clothes off on camera. So to be able to scream, to be hysterical, to act out all that suffering and all those tears… well, it's not something you get to do every day." — Charlotte Gainsbourg, on controversial and violent film Antichrist. [Telegraph]
• "I'd like to go on record that he is a gentleman. He has not touched me in a bad place once." — Judd Apatow, on Russell Brand. [Mirror]
• "It's a coincidence. It's from a book called Once is Not Enough by Jacqueline Susann. Bad book… People think that I changed my name. I could've been an actress, a superhero, or a stripper." — January Jones, on her name and being born in January. Also, click to see her on the cover of Interview! [JustJared via Interview]
• "The double-edged sword of working with family is it can be the most fulfilling experience you've ever had, but the flip side is it can also be the most tortuous and most stressful, because it's your family and the lines can get blurry." — Shaun Cassidy, who, along with brothers Ryan, David and Patrick, is starring in a new ABC Family show, Ruby & The Rockits. [LA Times]
• "Stand-up is good when you're rolling. When it goes down you feel like 'why the hell did I come here?' and the same thing in acting. If it's not clicking you feel like an ass." — Adam Sandler. [Mirror]
• "This project was rife with opportunities for me to fuck it up enormously and, by doing so, prove my own limitations. To botch the whole thing would have been calamitous." — Hugh Dancy, on Adam, the film about a man with Asperger's. [BlackBook]
• "I see a lot myself in him, he is a Cancer, just like I am. I would love to meet him. He makes me smile just when I see him." — Lil' Kim on Nelson Mandela. [Mirror]

• Reports are emerging that, on June 26, Angelina Jolie made an un-publicized, under-the-radar trip to visit wounded soldiers at Walter Reed Army Medical Center.

She did not have an entourage. She gave out gift bags with $1000 Best Buy gift certificates. All this is only coming out now because a wife of a wounded soldier blogged about it and a few people took pictures, which can be seen at the link. [ONTD]

• Lindsay Lohan and Kristi Kaylor — who runs Lohan's fashion line — have started a production company together. Several projects are in the works, including a TV show called Faux Real, which would be like Entourage, but in the fashion world; and a "docu-cause" TV show in conjunction with a charity. [The Hollywood Reporter]
• Ryan Reynolds and Scarlett Johansson: Bringing home a kid? Ryan tells Glamour UK: "My oldest brother is adopted and I have every intention of adopting at some time. I'm very grateful for having my brother in my life. I couldn't be more pro-adoption. There are plenty of kids in the world that need it." [ET]
• Beyoncé will not turn her back on you! She has a "strict" rule for her "I Am ... Sasha Fierce" tour: Photographers aren't allowed to shoot her from behind. [Gatecrasher]
• George Clooney heals! He toured the ruins of L'Aguila, Italy — where thousands were left homeless after an April earthquake — and promises he'll shoot a film in the area, which should help the local economy. [USA Today, Mirror]
• Ryan Seacrest is working on a contract extension that will give him a major pay raise and make him one of the highest-paid reality hosts on television. Last season he made just under $5 million — about $100,000 per episode. [Reuters]
• This should be interesting: Chinese developers are working on a scaled-down replica of Neverland Ranch as a tribute to Michael Jackson. [Reuters]
• "By all accounts from those who have watched and been close to [Michael Jackson's] children, Prince Michael, 12, Paris-Michael Katherine, 11, and Blanket (Prince Michael II), 7, are not only normal, but model children: unaffected by fame, sweet, polite and very smart." [AP]
• Hmm. This report claims that Paris Jackson wants to record a tribute track for her father. [The Sun]
• The night before the public memorial for Michael Jackson, there was a private open-casket viewing where family members talked and cried. [People]
• Joe Jackson will attend a memorial service for Michael Jackson in the family's hometown of Gary, Indiana. [AP]
• The LAPD is investigating Michael Jackson's prescription drug history. [Breitbart]
• A former bodyguard claims Michael Jackson would leave doctors offices "out of it" and "sedated." [TMZ]
• More drug stuff here. [TMZ, NY Post]
• Joe Jackson suspects foul play in the death of his son. [ABC News]
• Michael Jackson used aliases — employees' names —- to get prescription drugs. [TMZ]
• Michael Jackson's body is temporarily in a crypt belonging to Motown founder Berry Gordy. [People]
• Please. No. Please. Joe Simpson is pitching an Ashlee Simpson "concept album" on which she would sing Michael Jackson songs. Ugh. We need to nip this in the bud. [Page Six]
• Flying the friendly skies: French president Nicolas Sarkozy has named his new £50 million jet "Carla," after his third wife. [Telegraph]
• Mary Louise Parker is naked and baking a pie in this Esquire post, which has the browser tag "Mary Louise Parker Ass." Also, MLP has written "A Thank-You Note To Men," in which she says: "You can fix my front door, my sink, and open most jars…" [Esquire]
• By the by, Kristen Stewart thinks the pregnancy rumors about her are "ridiculous." [MSNBC Scoop]
• Kate Gosselin made a "secret, whirlwind" trip to Hollywood; Jon Gosselin is "in love" with a 22-year-old "party girl" named Hailey. Why Radar has pictures of Hailey holding a gun to someone's head is anyone's guess. [RadarOnline]
• In this piece, a beauty consultant speculates on all the waxing and skin treatments Sacha Baron Cohen must have gone through to become Brüno. [Daily Express]
• Have you read the bestselling novel Little Bee? BBC Films has acquired the story; Nicole Kidman will star and produce. (The plot: A16-year-old Nigerian orphan meets a vacationing upper-middle-class British couple who've wandered into an area outside the safety of their resort.) [Variety]
• A Jay-Z book — in which he comments about and tells the stories behind his lyrics — is in the works. [Observer]
• Lil' Wayne was supposed to perform in the Bahamas last year, but didn't show up, so "police went to his hotel room" and "found him passed out and unwilling to perform." Cue the lawsuit! [Page Six]
• Why was Jamie Foxx harassing Rihanna at a club? [Page Six]
• David Arquette plans on living inside of a Plexiglas box in New York City for a couple of days to raise money for the hungry. Interesting. [AP]
• Leonardo DiCaprio has settled a dispute with his Hollywood Hills neighbors over a basketball court on his property. [E!]
• Julianne Moore has pulled out of a film in which she'd play Hillary Clinton 12 days before production started in London; Hope Davis will take the role. [Telegraph]
• Zooey Deschanel was asked if she listened to any She & Him while shooting 500 Days Of Summer, and replied: "No, what am I, a jerk? I'm not going to go listen to my own music on set." [WSJ]
• Zooey has joined the cast of Your Highness, a comedy in which an arrogant, lazy prince must complete a quest to save his father's kingdom. Zooey plays the "virginal bride." [The Hollywood Reporter]
• Best wishes and speedy recovery to Mariska Hargitay, who tripped over an umbrella while filming Law & Order: SVU in NYC and had to get 13 stitches. [Gatecrasher]
• "Chrissie Hynde still hard-rocking and sassy as ever as she talks about new album." [Mirror]
• "Monty Python's The Life Of Brian has been voted the most controversial film of all time by movie buffs." [Mirror]
• Jerry Seinfeld is the pitchman for a bank "in the boonies of Australia." Serenity now! [Page Six]
• "Raven-Symoné is not pregnant nor did she give birth." Noted! [People]
• Blind items! "Which online columnist is so aggressive about getting on TV that one network warned its male talent to keep a distance from her while she visited LA to cover the Michael Jackson story? She's already slept with several men who could help her career… Which wife in the middle of a nasty divorce is secretly dating a successful businessman? The affair, if it went public, would complicate the litigation, and her hot-tempered husband can be scary." [Page Six]
• Blind item! "Which freaky actor - who currently has a girlfriend - hit on a wardrobe consultant on the set of his latest film with the line, 'I like those jeans. Can I have your number?'" [Gatecrasher]
• "My family don't generally say that they're related to me - my sister doesn't say she's my sister — because they don't want to be judged or lauded based on who I am. I think my parents are happy about my career now, but originally I was like, 'Why don't you support whatever I want to do? If I wanted to sell beef on the street why wouldn't you want to support me?' But it's not about that. Parents never stop being parents, and yet you want them to be your friends at a certain age and that's just not going to happen." — Lucy Liu. [Daily Express]
• "I was no longer in control of my life. I thought I wanted certain things, but I didn't. I got lost. I felt suffocated, miserable and gross. I should never have gone down that route or got sucked in to all the publicity. I was typecast as myself. Too many people weren't getting past what they read about me. That was damaging. I can tell from experience it's bad for you, and bad for your career. So I took a break, went away for a while and let things calm down." — Ben Affleck, on his high-profile relationship with Jennifer Lopez. [ContactMusic]
• "I'd rather date someone who's regular. But what often happens is that she faces huge criticism like , ‘Why her? She's Miss. Ordinary.' …There is something quite devious about my personality. I'll do all the right things. I'll be the upstanding gentleman but behind closed doors, I want to let loose. As long as I know my secrets aren't going to get out. You know what I mean?" — Idris Elba. And! If you are interested, there's video of him speaking in his native English accent. [Necole Bitchie]
• "You can't help but have a punk aesthetic, to rebel against technology and the way music is presented to people these days. Real rock and roll isn't about MySpace pages and digital music. Those are accessories. That's the scarf on the jacket of real rock and roll." — Jack White, producer, band member, collaborator and head of Third Man record label. Oh! This interactive thingy is pretty cool. [WSJ]
• "I've gone bankrupt about four times now. My manager wants to shoot me. Every dollar I earn goes on the show. Now we're finally getting to a place where it's not bankruptcy. Then again, with another tour coming up soon I'll probably be homeless again." — Lady GaGa doesn't seem to have a savings account. [The Sun]

[Los Angeles, June 21. Image via Flynet]

• Beyoncé on her fake "screeching" recording:

"I haven't heard it but it sounds completely ridiculous." Her dad/manager Matthew Knowles adds: "At 12 years into her career, the last thing someone should be questioning is her vocal ability. That would be like questioning if Kobe Bryant could shoot a jump shot. The vocals were obviously altered." Okay okay we get it. [MTV]

• Lindsay Lohan is in Australia's Cleo magazine. She's asked: "As you're constantly in the public eye, how hard is it for you to forge successful, long lasting relationships?" She answers: "I don't think it's so hard. What I've learnt most is to keep my private life private." O RLY? Also, when asked about her "perfect evening," she says: "Staying in and watching a movie!" [ONTD]
• Lindsay talked to Ellen about her split with Sam: "When you don't know you're breaking up… Really weird." LL says the break came out of nowhere. "I had no idea what was going on. I just hadn't seen her in, like, a week. She, like, disappeared." Also, is this underminey? "I think it's been really good for me. I thought it would be so much harder and it hasn't been. My sister's been here with me." [People]
• "Lindsay Lohan is shockingly skinny again." [NY Daily News]
• Kate Moss maybe cheated on Jamie Hince with Eve Berlin from The Living Things. In Berlin. The rocker's brother says he walked in on Kate and Eve (born Yves) with his clothes off. [The Sun]
• Josh Hartnett's 911 call is on TMZ for some reason, and you can hear Josh say the words "food poisoning" and "diarrhea." [TMZ]
• What the goop: Gwyneth Paltrow gave Mario Batali free membership to that superduper exclusive gym she and Tracy Anderson opened. An insider says: "Mario is the only fat friend she has, and she wants him to change." [Page Six]
• This was in Midweek Madness yesterday but here it is again: Nadya Suleman's stripper name was Angelina. [MSNBC]
• Oh Christ: Miss California will appear at the Gospel Music Awards. [Yahoo News via AP]
• Dolly Parton had lunch in Manhattan and a blogger witness it. Dolly had an "expertly made-up ageless face, Barbie doll suit (paired with sheer black leggings), that famous platinum mane, and shoes that no other human being could possibly walk in." [mediabistro.com]
• Cyndi Lauper wants Susan Boyle to be in a film starring Cyndi and Tippi Hedren. "I think she's a kick. I really like her," sez Lauper. The movie is about "baby boomers who put their lives on hold to chase their dreams." [Reuters]
• By the way, when Susan Boyle said she'd never been kissed, that was a joke, people/ She says: "Never been kissed? I've never stopped." [Music Toob]
• Audrina is going to Spencer and Heidi's wedding this weekend. "They're two peas in a pod … I can't see either of them with anyone else." Is that a compliment? [People]
• Uh-oh! Jennie Garth found out that her husband Peter Facinelli cooked a pasta dinner for the cast of the Twilight sequel New Moon and she is not happy: "I am pissed off, because he doesn't make me pasta dinners. I don't know when was the last time the man cooked for me!" [E!]
• Rihanna and Katy Perry are boating & beaching together in Barbados. It looks so fun. I want to go to there! [NY Post]
• Speaking of New Moon, you guys can have that lame ass sparkly vampire, I'll take the shirtless hot hotties of the wolf pack. Have you seen this new picture? Soooo down with brown. And only one of them is technically underage! What's that? Their abs are Photoshopped? Lalalala I can't hear you. [People]
• NBC is considering running fewer episodes of Heroes next year, which will supposedly interrupt the storyline less. And you know, cut costs. [AdAge]
• Someone stole thousands of dollars of jewelry from Hayden Panettiere's L.A. home last week. [TMZ]
• Kanye West was "polite and gracious" when he showed up — by himself — at the Tribeca Film Festival's kickoff dinner. DON'T GET ALL NORMAL ON US, YEEZY!!!!!!1!!! [Gatecrasher]
• When filming ends on the last Harry Potter movie, Emma Watson says: "I will be . . . uncontrollable. It's been half of our lives. It's made us, it's formed us. It's such a big part of my life, so it will be really sad –and so much of the crew who have been there since the beginning are like my family." [Telegraph]
• Gillian Anderson may appear on Doctor Who. [Daily Express]
• Bruce Springsteen's wife wasn't at his concert on Tuesday night OMGAFFAIROMG. [Star]
• Alan Cumming supports New York Governor David Paterson's gay-marriage bill. "He's not doing it for political reasons. Like, when did gay marriage become something that could make you popular, for fuck's sake? That's just, like, being a little nippy, people being bitches." As for Rudy Giuliani? Cumming says: "I think he's an asshole. Please quote me on that." [NY Mag]
• Um, Elizabeth Banks will star and produce a comedy called Forever 21. Is it about disposable bar-crawling clothes? [The Hollywood Reporter]
• Since Matthew McConaughey is in a flick called Ghosts Of Girlfriends Past, he is forced to answer questions about past girlfriends. [E!]
• This just in: "Natalie Portman and Chief Executive Officer Christine Aylward launched MakingOf.com, a behind-the-scenes Web portal that provides an intimate, fresh look into the process of creating entertainment by the insiders themselves." [PR Newswire]
• Hot hottie Channing Tatum, of the critically acclaimed film Step Up, says of his new flick, Fighting: "I'm not a tough guy. I'm probably not even a good fighter." It's called ACTING, people, jeez. [USA Today]
• Anna Nicole Smith cannot rest in peace because there's always some kind of dramz in her family; this time it's her half-sister suing the publisher of her book Train Wreck: The Life and Death of Anna Nicole Smith, because she claims she hasn't been paid. [TMZ]
• Want to see a foxy picture of Christian Bale, from Empire magazine? Click click click! [ONTD]
• Prison Break's Lane Garrison has reached a financial settlement with the parents of the 17-year-old he killed in a drunk driving accident back in 2006. [TMZ]
• Mary-Louise Parker is not leaving Weeds. Had you heard that she was? [E!]
• Cameron Diaz is in talks to star in a "legal comedy" called Bobbie Sue, about a "hard-charging female ambulance chaser whose mindset makes her the ideal candidate to be the face of a prestigious law firm when a powerful client is sued in a sexual discrimination case." [Variety]
• Paul Giamatti will star in an indie drama called Barney's Version, in which he plays a man who has "led a reckless life highlighted by three marriages, two children and being a 'person of interest' in the mysterious disappearance of his bosom buddy. [Variety]
• Unsolicited uterus update: Jewel is trying for a baby. [Gatecrasher]
• Unsolicited uterus update: Jennifer Hudson is indeed pregnant. [NY Daily News, Page Six]
• Divorce lawyers are telling Oksana Pochepa (the chick who claims she's having a fling with Mel Gibson) to shut her trap. [The Sun]
• John Travolta is in Argentina shopping for land, what are you doing? [Yahoo News via AFP]
• Oh wait: This report says John Travolta is alone in Tahiti. [People]
• After five years and 241 shows at Caesars Palace, Elton John played his last show last night. Will he come back? [AP]
• Why is there a picture of Mariah Carey's husband and Spongebob Squarepants at the top of the Empire State Building? Is this real life? Is it going to be like this forever? [Gatecrasher]
• Here is old footage of Tony Danza being a whiny baby because he has to be on a local news program. [Videogum]
• Fred Durst is engaged and is the happiest man alive, should you care. [People]
• When Lou Reed is on tour, he would like to eat organic lamb, guava melon, or "LOCAL ORGANIC White Fish." [The Smoking Gun]
• Who Wants To Be A Millionaire, with Regis Philbin, will be revived this summer on ABC. [AP]
• Rob Lowe will be in TV movie on Lifetime, set your DVR. [UPI]
• Blind item: "Which hunky A-lister checks himself into swanky hotels under the alias 'King Kong'?" [Gatecrasher]
• "I was so incensed, so passionate about having a Democrat in the White House, I was insane. I was just crazed. I trust this administration. I trust Barack Obama and his intelligence and have faith that he'll do the right thing. So I've been able to relax the last few months." — Barbra Streisand. [Yahoo News via Reuters]
• "This issue is important to me. I didn't know too much about it before becoming a parent but whooping cough is on the rise. There have been a significant increase in reported cases over the past decade. Parents don't realize that they can get pertussis and transmit the disease to their babies." — Jennifer Lopez, the spokesperson for Sounds Of Pertussis. [UPI]
• "I had kind of a binge eating disorder where instead of dealing with my emotions, I would stuff them down with food. I actually went into a treatment center for it. It was definitely that excess eating to kind of just stuff all the emotions down ... I really was a creative kid who didn't know she was creative and didn't have those outlets because I was always afraid to join the theater group and not perform. The moment I started doing music, the moment I did what I loved to do in my life and committed to it, I don't have those problems anymore ... I have my outlet. I have that form of expression. I can go to the studio and talk about my feelings." — American Idol judge Kara DioGuardi. [People]
• "The most dynamic and sophisticated comedy to hit television in the last 10 years, if you like, and here it is, they're calling me. It's a great, great feeling. And as quickly as it came, I was on the set. It really felt like an out-of-body experience. 'I watch this show; what am I doing here? What is Steve Carell doing, improvising and trying to make me laugh?' They all do that. John [Krasinski] especially. He said to me the other day, 'My character hates your character so much, it makes me want to hate you in real life. Is that OK?' They're great guys, I love working on that show." — Idris Elba on his stint on The Office. [LA Times]
• "I wouldn't want to change myself too much because that would really make things a bit false. I want to receive people as the real me, a real person." — Susan Boyle. [NY Daily News]
• "You just leave them with enough food and water to survive. No, first of all, you have an amazing wife, and she gets it and handles all the craziness. And you just try to make the time you got really cool. When you're there, you're totally present, and you just bounce back and forth. At least I'm not in the military with people shooting at me. I have friends who are in Iraq. At least when we're gone, I'm in a hotel room. Maybe, I may lose my life to this really bad room service. That's the threat."— Taylor Hanson on how he handles going on tour and leaving four kids at home. [People]
• "It's none of my business, but you know what I say about that? I understand the situation. I understand passion with young kids. My personal opinion about that is, he's just a baby. He's just a little baby that don't know how to handle his emotions when it comes to a woman. And he probably hears this and thinks, 'I know how to handle my emotions'; we all think we do. But the fact [is], you look at this person and you might be crazy in love, but we don't know how to handle those feelings." — Mike Tyson on Chris Brown. [MTV]
• "I just put his foot in my mouth. There was no sucking. It was a spontaneous moment, too — it wasn't in the script. I just went for it. I still don't even know how Zac felt about me cramming his foot into my mouth. It's not like we're e-mail buddies." — Saturday Night Live's Jason Sudeikis, on his skit with Zac Efron. [Gatecrasher]

• Though the Lohans declared a truce less than a month ago, Michael Lohan wrote on his blog today that Samantha Ronson is to blame for Lindsay's weight loss, cutting, and floundering career.

• Michael claims Samantha manipulated Lindsay into leaving Ali in L.A. to accompany her on a trip to Boston and says, "I am asking everyone out their to intervene in every way possible to help Lindsay ... see what SaMANtha is doing to her and how she is destroying her life." [Perez Hilton]
• Still no word on whether Jennifer Aniston and John Mayer have ended their relationship or are planning to get engaged. While several gossip outlets insist they have broken up, Star is sticking to their claim that Mayer is planning to propose on Jen's 40th birthday, and says they spent the night together at Jen's house on Monday. [Star]
• Mary Louise Parker and director Ian Rickson were feuding during rehearsals for the Broadway show Hedda Gabler, which may explain why one critic called it "one of the worst revivals I have ever, ever seen." Parker smashed a glass pitcher on the floor in anger during a performance, and Rickson flew back to England and didn't attend the opening night party. [NY Post]
• Warner Bros. plans to relaunch the Lara Croft franchise, with a completely new back story, new love interests and villians, and an actress that is not Angelina Jolie. Though there is still no writer or director for the film, the Nerds on the Internet have spoken, and they want Megan Fox to have the role. [Yahoo]
• Though there were rumors that David Bowie would revive his Ziggy Stardust character and perform his 1972 album in its entirety at an upcoming concert, Bowie says it's all "poppycock." [UPI]
• Debbie Matenopoulos's estranged husband is suing her for spousal support and claims that she pays for nothing while living in their multi-million dollar L.A. home, but she says it's a lie. "I am very proud to say, not only do I currently pay my own expenses, I also did so for the entire duration of our marriage," says Debbie. [People]
• Lynyrd Skynyrd roadie turned keyboardist Billy Powell died this morning in Jacksonville, Florida. [TMZ]
• There were some clips of Kelly Clarkson's new video for "My Life Would Suck Without You" online but they've been pulled. If you simply must see the new video ASAP, it's previewing on American Idol tonight. [Rolling Stone]
• A woman is claiming she is the love child of Jerry Lewis and a showgirl, and was concieved above New York's Copacabana. Expect to see more hilarious headlines with the phrase "Jerry's kid?" [UPI]
• Bon Jovi is being sued by a former sales manager for the arena football team he owns, the Philadelphia Soul. The man claims he never got paid after the league decided to cancel the 2009 season. [TMZ]
• Ben Affleck didn't immediately raise his hand when he and his He's Just Not That Into You costars were asked who in the group is romantic during an inane interview. But after some mild harassment he admitted, "I'm definitely romantic. I didn't raise my hand because I didn't want to be the guy who started talking about how romantic he was on TV." [People]
• Bob Barker offered to pay $1.5 million to relocate Billy the elephant from his questionable habitat at the L.A. Zoo and send him to an elephant sanctuary, but the zoo has rejected his offer, saying "Billy's home is at the Los Angeles Zoo, not a distant location that is both inaccessible and unaffordable for the working families and schoolchildren of Los Angeles. [L.A. Times]
• Pete Doherty says the secret to getting models like Kate Moss is "Clobber [British slang for clothes], of course. That and sexual magnetism." The drugs probably don't hurt either. [ONTD]
• Leighton Meester is on the cover of the March issue of Seventeen and says she likes bad boys [not unlike one Chuck Bass]. "I don't want to tame anybody. I want them to be dark and bad," she says. [People]
• In this interview Flight of the Concords stars Jemaine Clement and Bret McKenzie explain why the invasion of privacy that comes with being a celebrity is worth it for the free deserts, drinks, and shoes. [CNN]
• Kanye West and Mischa Barton sat together at the Elie Saab fashion shows and talked about the perils of constantly being photographed. Kanye said: “It’s hard to look sexy without looking angry.” [Fashion Week Daily]
• CBS has compiled a slideshow of 86 celebrities with right-wing leanings. The following people are Republicans: Shannen Doherty, Britney Spears, Rick Schroder, Dr. Phil, Nick Lachey, Susan Lucci, Sarah Michelle Gellar, Gloria Estefan, Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson, James Earl Jones, Adam Sandler, LL Cool J, 50 Cent, and many more! [CBS]

[Beverly Hills, CA. January 11. Image via Getty]

• LOL headline of the day: "Jay-Z Leaves New Wife Beyoncé At Home To Watch Basketball." OMG you guys, he went somewhere without her! [Mirror]
  
• Is Beyoncé wearing gloves so we can't see her damn wedding ring? [Concrete Loop]
  
• Amy Winehouse is the headlining act this Saturday at a festival on the Isle Of Wight. Will she shout out Blake Incarcerated? [Mirror]
  
• Rosie O'Donnell talked about her time on The View on The Martha Stewart Show yesterday: "There was people there telling me what to do. There was a little Republican who scared me." [People]
  
• A fence along the Mexican border "bears all the credibility and seriousness of flying saucers from Mars or leprechauns. Or any manner of malicious, paranoid superstition. In other words, it's bullshit. It's a complete disaster. It's an act of fascist madness." — Tommy Lee Jones. [Page Six]

• Paul McCartney is taking 4-year-old daughter Bea on vacation, and Heather Mills has extremely specific instructions as to what Bea can eat, since she's a strict vegan. Good times. [Mirror]
• A Boston priest has apologized for stalking TV host Conan O'Brien, thank God. [Reuters]
• Tom Cruise's probably-crappy Nazi movie, Valkyrie, has been pushed back a third time — it won't come out until February 2009. The flick has bad buzz, cost $90 million and isn't really finished. Box office poison? [Page Six]
• Funnyman and hot Scot Craig Ferguson is headlining the White House Correspondents Dinner, which he's calling "probably the single most dangerous gig in show business." Good luck! [Page Six]
• For Hugh Hefner's birthday, Pamela Anderson showed up in his Vegas hotel room naked and holding a cake. Medic! [Page Six]
• Ooh, decades-old gossip! Mickey Mantle maybe said Doris Day was one of the best fucks of his life. [Page Six]
• Hilary Duff dropping a scorpion down her pants in a scene from a political satire is getting lots of views on YouTube. Related: People are bored. [Page Six]
• Gossip Girl gossip: The Asian girl is off the show! Is it because Leighton Meester (Blair) didn't like her? [Gatecrasher]
• Blind item! "Which divorced celebs, who still share a PR, are driving the poor flack crazy trying to plant mean stories about each other?" [Gatecrasher]
• Sex And The City feud rumors persist: How come SJP was seated at one table and all of her costars were at a different table a gala on Monday night? [Rush & Molloy]
• By the way, Sarah Jessica Parker says sexiness comes from "confidence and brains — but I think confidence has a lot to do with it as there are a lot of versions of sexy." [Mirror]
• "Gwyneth Paltrow can eat a lot. She can eat a good amount of food for such a skinny movie star. She can out-eat me in rice dishes, like paella." —Mario Batali. [Rush & Molloy]
• Speaking of Gwynnie and food, she threw a Mexican fiesta for her son Moses, who turned two on Tuesday. "He loves guacamole," she says. [People]
• Lindsay Lohan's former bodyguard is suing her for $55,000 worth of back pay. Get those bills paid, girl! [Rush & Molloy]
• Mary-Louise Parker and Weeds costar Jeffrey Morgan have broken off their engagement. Sigh. [People]
• Patrick Swayze is having an "excellent" response to treatment for pancreatic cancer. Be well! [People]
• Nekkid Hairy Potter is coming to town! Daniel Radcliffe will debut on Broadway in September in a reprise of his London role in Equus. [ONTD]
• Richard Gere calls his kiss with Indian star Shilpa Shetty "a badge of somewhat insane courage." Meanwhile, he was in San Francisco yesterday for a pro-Tibet rally — right before the Olympic torch is due in that town today. [Reuters]
• Perez Hilton is getting his own radio show. Twice daily, for three minutes, starting May 5. [Yahoo News]

Even though she wins my heart with most of her back story — she got suspended from art school for challenging her professors; she stands up to Weeds directors who try to rearrange her performances without permissions; she turned down Shannon Doherty's sloppy seconds, declining to takeover for the departed Doherty on Charmed — I'm sort of put off by her high horse stance on paparazzi.

"She bristles at the attitude that tabloid attention comes with the job, comparing that to saying a sexual assault victim was asking for it by wearing a short dress," according to the Times. Parker then goes on:

I understand the fascination, and I understand the curiosity, but at the same time I understand the fascination and curiosity of staring at someone who has fallen off their bicycle and has a bloody nose. Does that mean you should stand there and point and look at them as though they can't see you? I don't think so. Does that mean you should take a picture of them? Probably not. Does that mean you should take out your cellphone and film them so you can put it on YouTube?

The reason I take umbrage with this stance is because Parker began her career as a theater actress. She has always worked on the stage — according to the Times, her role in Cell Phone is the first "after four years' absence — her longest stretch away from the theater since she was 17." She could likely support herself and her children through a career doing plays in New York and London. But she chose to make the leap into feature films and television. It's a rational choice for sure, but the decision comes along with the trappings of fame. Have the paparazzi gone too far? Absolutely. But Parker's attitude towards the plebes who are interested in her life — and comparing herself to a rape victim in the process — is, to use her own word, inelegant.

You're Welcome to See Her Live, Not to Ask About Her Life [New York Times]

• A reporter from Us magazine tried to interview Scarlett Johansson after her appearance on the Today show, but Scarlett was all, "You have got to be kidding me after that [plastic surgery] cover you did." Oh, snap! [Gatecrasher]
  
• Christina Aguilera on son Max: "When he's breast-feeding, I just sit there and stare at him. I'm in awe of this little miracle." [Page Six]
  
• If you're getting married in Vegas today, you might have Pauly Shore, Mario Lopez or "Chocolate Rain" singer Tay Zonday as a witness to your nuptials. Lucky! [Page Six]
  
• Britney's "manager" Sam Lutfi is trying to get California governor Arnold Schwarzenegger to help her with her "civil rights" issues, like why she can't keep a lawyer. Wait, what? [Gatecrasher]
  
• Britney's boyfriend Adnan Ghalib: Questioned by cops! He may or may not have punched a photographer snapping him at the Beverly Hills Hotel. Don't you love it when the tables turn? [TMZ]
  
• Apparently Britney is getting along great with her mom, it's her dad she's not happy with. She doesn't want him in her personal — or financial — affairs. Do you get the feeling that if she's so annoyed at him, he might be talking some sense? [E!]

• Amy Winehouse wants to give incarcerated hubby Blake one of her most prized possessions: One of her Grammys. But she'll have to wait 'til he gets sprung. [MSNBC]
• Katie Holmes ordered six organic baby blankets and now everyone thinks she's knocked up. But apparently the order was "for a friend." [MSNBC]
• Blind item! "Which rival young actresses on the same hit show are forced to pose together at PR events, even though they hate each other? One resents the other for having knocked her off her 'star of the show' pedestal." [Gatecrasher]
• In a Valentine shout-out, Keith Urban dedicated a song to his pregnant wife, Nicole Kidman, during his concert at Madison Square Garden last night. Awwww. (Related: Who goes to a Keith Urban show?) [People]
• Oscar De La Hoya will be in court tomorrow over those photos of him in drag; he claims the former stripper doctored them, so she's suing him. Think mean folks are sending him lingerie and fishnets today? [Page Six]
• 50 Cent's baby mama asked for $50,000 a month in child support? Then the court ruled she should get $6,700?? That's a lot of cents. [Page Six]
• Billy Ray Cyrus has apologized for the fact that he and Miley are not wearing seat belts in the back seat of a car in Miley's 3D movie. "Seatbelt safety is extremely important," he says. Related: Zzzzzz. [People]
• Jeffrey Dean Morgan and Mary-Louise Parker, who play husband and wife on Weeds, are engaged! [People]
• OJ Simpson's girlfriend has been hospitalized with a "severe head injury." No one knows how she got it, but a witness says she had been "intoxicated and always falling down." More to come, for sure. [ET]
• A judge has ruled that Mel Gibson can serve the rest of his probation without appearing in court again. "You're on your own," the judge said. [Reuters]
• The 911 call regarding Brad Renfro has been released; his girlfriend is on the line saying, "His nose is bleeding... We can't tell if he's breathing." [People]
• Dakota Fanning is pulling out of a film that calls for her to shave her head. Diva! [MSNBC]
• Farrah Fawcett's son, Redmond O'Neal, was busted for DUI ad drug possession in Malibu. This is not the first time, and he's been in rehab "a dozen times." Redmond is 23. [TMZ]
• Henry Winkler testified at the John Ritter wrongful-death trial yesterday, describing how Ritter was in good shape the morning of the day he died but sweating and asking for water in the afternoon and "that was the last time I saw him." [LA Times]
• China's Foreign Ministry spokesman expressed regret over Steven Spielberg's decision to quit his Beijing Olympics role because of China's policies in Sudan. But, says Liu Jianchao, the games will be "a success." [Reuters]
• So yeah, Kanye West's new video, co-directed by Kanyeezy and Spike Jonze, features KW tied up in the trunk of a car, then beaten with a shovel by a model who's totally stacked. The subtext is about fame, or the economy, or something. Can't stop staring at her rack. [Concrete Loop]
• LaToya Jackson's face: Fucked. Up. [Perez Hilton]
• The writers' strike is over! But wait, the Screen Actors Guild might start talks for a new labor contract? Oy. [Reuters]
• Wu-Tang Clan's Raekwon says he'd like to celebrate Valentine's Day "in a helicopter over the city having sex." [Rush & Molloy]

• Mary-Lousie Parker was overheard ranting about some Weeds star's inflated sense of entitlement and crap acting abilities and for some reason everyone's pointing the finger at Mary-Kate Olsen. Think it's the similar names? [Gatecrasher]
  
• Think this blind item about a "supposedly rehabbed" starlet with a with a weakness for minibar bottles is about Lindsay Lohan? Because Linds was photographed sucking face with three separate "Italian stallions" and the old "addict" Lindsay could have gotten away with being too fucked-up to realize they were different people but the new "sex addict" Lindsay has some 'splainin to do to poor Alessandro di Nunzio. [The Sun]
  
• Speaking of makeouts, L.C. had a session with her childhood Laguna Beach buddy Stephen Colletti. Wow, that was well-timed to capitalize on rumors of former Colletti GF and L.C. rival Kristin Cavillari's joining the cast of The Hills, ya know? [US]
  
• And speaking of Italian stallions, Ivana Trump is set to wed her barely-legal boytoy Rosanno Rubicondi in The Donald's Mar A Lago estate. [Gatecrasher]

• John McEnroe's son threw a shitfit after getting rejected from the Pink Elephant before he "stumbled backward and fell into a pile of garbage bags." [Page Six
• Madonna wants to adopt a child from Cambodia. God, what inspiring humanitarian gesture will she think of next. [The Sun]
• Jenna Fisher wrote on her MySpace blog touting the full-frontal male nudity in her new movie Walk Hard and for some retarded reason none of the nineteen celebrity tabloids reporting this fact have taken the opportunity to make the triple-pun "Hard Sell," so I guess that responsibility falls upon me. [Page Six]
• Yeah, and in that vein, Eve's eco-friendly rider: not so "ruff" on the environment. [Page Six]

[New York, September 26. Image via INF]