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midweek madness
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mary kate olsen
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midweek madness
cover lies
Mary-Kate Olsen In Elle: Holy Trashbag!
You know, I usually find Spencer Pratt's opinions relatively unimpeachable, but I totes never thought Mary-Kate was the less-cute Olsen, far from it. Until now! Anyway, maybe MK shares my opinion regarding the dormitory shower curtain they made her wear on the cover of this month's issue of Elle, because the interview she gives is...um, supplemented by those telltale bullshit filler sentences such as "Dave and Jarnette always insisted that Mary-Kate and Ashley experience a regular childhood," and a quote from Lauren Hutton on how hard it was for MK to "discover" her incredible tastes. Mercifully, Elle gives you better ways to waste 20 minutes! Like a story on how you can not only use pot to cure anxiety, but Special K to cure depression!! (That's better news than Ecstasy for PTSD!) Anyway, after the jump as usual, we rewrite the cover lines to reveal the fact that we actually read the magazine. More »
Loose Lips
Angelina Jolie is in the hospital in the South of France to prepare for the birth of her twins. How come even a hospital in France sounds better than a basement in Brooklyn? • Spencer Pratt publicly apologized to Mary Kate Olsen, thus ending their entirely one-sided feud. "I apologize for getting caught up in trash talking, but she brought up an emotional subject when she mentioned the soccer stuff," Pratt attack told Us. • Want to dislike Paris Hilton even more than you already did? Peep this quote from her about new beau Benji Madden: "He is going to get [a tattoo] of me but he won't let me get one. He doesn't like tattoos on women. He thinks I look pure." Guess he didn't catch the sex tape then, eh? [People, Us, Dlisted]
the week that was
This Week We Went To Prom And Got Incarcerated
- You sent us your prom pictures! There were many a mullet. We bet that one of you slept with your mulleted prom dates in the back of a Trans Am.
- Judge Judy will always be our superhero.
- We met a profesh douche named Dmitri.
- Anne Hathaway's No goodnick (now ex) boyfriend Raffaello Follieri turned out to be a total con artist. Instead of yachting on the Riviera, he's going to be yelping at Rikers.
- We fell in love with Mary Kate Olsen just a little.
- It's Friday. Shake your insured booty all weekend long.
the dopeness
Letterman: Mary-Kate Olsen Talks Trash On Spencer Pratt
Mary-Kate Olsen was on Letterman last night, to promote The Wackness — the movie in which she makes out with Ben Kingsley — and she was kind of awesome. She talked about how she went to high school with Spencer Pratt and it was clear that she never really liked him. She was ready to really dish with Dave about it. (She mentioned that he had a "really bad temper" and would leave soccer games in the middle of them.) Also, she was looking super healthy, and not scary skinny. Mary-Kate FTW!
dirt bag
Kimora Lee Simmons Is Not Going To Let Russell Be Another Deadbeat Dad
- Russell Simmons is forking over $20,000 per daughter in child support to Kimora Lee, which seems about right when you take into account that they are not just children but living ambassadors of Fabulosity. [TMZ]
- Naomi Campbell was kind enough to get arrested wearing one of Nelson Mandela's signature baseball caps, thus showering millions of dollars in free publicity on his AIDS awareness campaign, and this is the thanks she gets? [MSNBC]
- Mary-Kate Olsen and Ben Kingsley make out in the new movie The Wackness and now the guy we all associate with one of modern history's foremost humanist visionaires is going around talking about how making out with someone 42 years younger than him was completely cool and she was "totally in charge." [People]
- Miley Cyrus admits that her latest song "7 Things" is a very angry song, because it's about an ex-boyfriend, not a specific Jonas brotherly ex-boyfriend you understand, but just like a composite character ex-boyfriend, since anyone who's been around the block a few times knows that shitty guys generally adhere to a few typical patterns of behavior and also, hello, 15-year-old Disney teen idol confections maybe do not write their own songs. Not that their quotes don't sound like they do! "[It goes] through all the different stages of what's been going on the past couple years…It was like a little therapy moment for me." [People]
dirt bag
Madonna & Guy "Living Like Sister & Brother"
- The Madonna/Guy Ritchie divorce rumors will not stop. They're leading separate lives, apparently. A source says: "Things have just run their natural course. Although the marriage is coming to an end, they don't want to say anything until the tour is over." Plus! "They live like brother and sister rather than husband and wife and thought it best to call it a day." [Mirror]
- Apparently Amy Winehouse has scarring of the lungs which could lead to emphysema. Not emphysema. And yet! She was seen smoking after leaving the hospital to rehearse. Sigh. [People]
- Amy is rehearsing so she can play that Nelson Mandela gig on Friday night. [Mirror]
- Heath Ledger's mother, father and other family members are flying in for the Dark Knight premiere, but Michelle Williams and daughter Matilda will not attend. A source says Michelle is pissed at the Ledger family because she's seen no money from them since Heath's death — and she is raising his child. Michelle thinks that by the time Matilda reaches 18 and can cash in on her inheritance, there will be none left. [Page Six]
- Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt are about to launch a website they claim will be "bigger that MySpace, bigger than Facebook." Also, they plan to "surpass" the Beckhams. [Extra]
trailers
soft wet spot for the suburban poseur guys some would call "Jew wiggers." Former Nickelodeon show Drake & Josh star Josh Peck plays one in The Wackness, and he grew up to be so HOT. (Seriously, who would've thought? He's the one on the right here.) The film takes place in 1994 in Manhattan, and while some of the '90s references are really heavy handed, many of them are totally welcome for those of us who remember the era fondly, especially those of us who love early '90s hip hop and R&B. I saw a screening, and chuckled to myself when there was talk of $30 bags of weed. They're never sold in that increment anymore! And why not? Also, the dialog is at times hilarious. ("I'm mad depressed, yo!" Peck says to Kingsley, in one scene.) Anyway, this is the movie in which Mary-Kate Olsen has a "love scene" with Ben Kingsley. Kinda disturbing and weird. It's in theaters July 3. Check out the trailer, above.
Josh Peck Is Teh Hotness In The Wackness
I have such a
dirt bag
Jennifer Aniston & John Mayer Have A Quickie
- John Mayer and Jennifer Aniston spent the weekend in Mexico and you didn't. (PS: They stayed at Casa Aramara, the sprawling home owned by Girls Gone Wild dude Joe Francis.) [People]
- Jen and John are already back in L.A. [E!]
- Amy Winehouse fainted yesterday and was taken to the hospital "as a precaution." Her dad says "she's fine." [People]
- Um, E! is saying that Heidi Klum's new tattoo says "Seal." Can't see it. At all. [E!]
- Lindsay Lohan's been on the set of Labor Pains for a week and so far, so good.
A producer says: "We were a little bit reluctant to work with her, but she's been amazing." The girl has gotten it together. [People] - Oh, and LL did not submit herself for an Emmy — but Britney Spears, Miley Cyrus and Mary-Kate Olsen are in the race. [L.A. Times]
Midweek Madness
This Week In Tabloids: Jamie Lynn Is Jilted, Angelina Is Hormonal
Welcome back to Midweek Madness, where we wade in murky magazine waters so you don't have to. This week has tabloid stalwarts the Jolie-Pitts featured on two covers: Shiloh's wee face is plastered all over Ok!, while Brad and Angie's alleged marriage woes are featured in In Touch. Us scrapes the bottom of the "celebrity" barrel by featuring a former Bachelor on their cover, while Katie Holmes is a "prisoner" according to Life & Style and Star is squawking about Jamie Lynn Spears getting jilted. We explore John Mayer's penis prowess and ponder Lauren Conrad's pain, after the jump. More »
rag trade
'80s Revival? Margaret Thatcher In Vogue
- Political arbiter Vogue, fresh off the Cindy McCain pictorial, as usual has its finger on the cultural pulse: "Margaret Thatcher is back in fashion. July's edition of Vogue has a handsome tribute to the original power dresser, with her immaculate helmet of hair, still ready to do battle." [Daily Mail]
- Jez favorite Beth Ditto just might be designing a line for for British high street store Evans. [ElleUK]
- Uptown Girl Tory Burch, um, lookin' for a downtown man. Specifically, creative consultants Surface 2 Air. "The Paris-based label with fans in the art, hip-hop, and scenester world is moving into Tory's studio, with creative director offering himself to Tory as a downtown 'guru' for the brand." [New York Magazine]
dirt bag
Angelina's Twins Confirmed; Britney Pregnancy Rumors Persist
- Angelina Jolie confirms: She is having twins. You knew that, right? Anyway an exclusive interview scored by NBC's Today show was lifted by NBC's Access Hollywood and now NBC producers are pissed at each other. [Page Six]
- It was Jack Black who spilled the beans about Angie's twins, actually. [People]
- Jessica Simpson and Tony Romo might still be together. Unfortunately, that's not as interesting as if they were broken up. [E!]
- Um, more Britney pregnancy rumors. I'm scared. Someone hold me. [Mirror]
- Amy Winehouse and Pete Doherty kissing. This is one of those pictures where obviously the buss was on the cheek but it kind of looks like they were heading for the lips. In any case, the paper calls them a "gruesome twosome." [Mirror]
- To be honest, Pete's got something weird on his lip and face. It is kind of gruesome. [The Sun]
- Meanwhile, Blake Incarcerated says Amy Winehouse will die without him, but he doesn't want to go back to her when he gets out of jail because she is doing drugs. [News.com.au]
dirt bag
Mariah Carey E-Mails Vogue Editor From Honeymoon
- [Mariah Carey] is very happy. I've spoken with her and she is superb. She is over the moon. I received an email from her [Monday] and she is so happy. She really sounds like someone on her honeymoon." — Andre Leon Talley. Talley also says the wedding happened so quickly he "didn't have the time to offer her any style tips!" Underminer. [People]
- Britney Spears' progress impressed the court yesterday. She will now get three days of supervised visitation a week; within a month she should get overnight visits. Stay the course, girl! [TMZ]
- Lindsay Lohan has another job! She'll star in Labor Pains, a comedy about a young woman who pretends to be pregnant to avoid being fired. Yay for her; boo for another damn knocked up movie. Is that all women are good for? [Page Six]
the good, the bad & the ugly
Anna Wintour: Empress Of The Ugly At Costume Institute Gala
One more time! (Promise.) Met. Costume. Institute. Gala. Superheroes. Sponsored by Vogue and Armani. Hosted by Julia Roberts and George Clooney. You've seen the Good. You've seen the Bad. [This is reminding me of a certain early '80s sitcom theme song. -Ed.] Now we've got the Ugly, namely, a god-awful Anna Wintour, Melania Trump, Mary-Kate Olsen, Kimora Lee Simmons, and (sob) Dita von Teese. All of them, and others, after the jump. More »
dirt bag
Will Amy Sing At Mandela's Birthday Bash?
- Nelson Mandela personally called Amy Winehouse and asked her to sing at his birthday party on June 27! The former president of South Africa phoned her! Bono, Elton John and Annie Lennox are expected to perform as well. This UK paper says,"Let's hope [Amy] bee-hives herself!" Yuk, yuk. [Mirror]
- Meanwhile: Does Blake Incarcerated have a secret mistress? Is he plotting with the "mystery blonde" to run away with her — and a chunk of Amy's £10 million fortune? [The Sun]
- Britney Spears and Kevin Federline are due in court today for a progress review. A completely uninformed opinion? She's doing better. [People]
- Owen Wilson allegedly picked up some chick (not Kate Hudson) and invited her back to is boat and propositioned her to join him in a threesome with Vince Vaughn. There was a time that a Butterscotch Stallion/Money Baby sandwich would have been soooo hot, and that time was 2001. [Perez Hilton]
- Britney's back at work on How I Met Your Mother. She looks cute dressed to match Neil Patrick Harris! [TMZ]
